


Around the corner

by ilianka_smoulinka_91



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Drama, Eremika - Freeform, F/M, Romance, Smut, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-16 10:58:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 202,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13634910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilianka_smoulinka_91/pseuds/ilianka_smoulinka_91
Summary: His life is settled and he lives without worries, taking everything for granted. She, on the contrary, worries too much. But everything changes after a chance encounter, a broken nose and Love reminds them both what it is to have a family. EreMika. Modern AU.





	1. A punch in the nose

"Mikasa, look what I just saw in today's newspaper," Sasha said, waving a paper to her friend from behind the counter. Due to the lack of customers that very day in the clothing store where she worked, the brunette could talk a little more than usual with her roommate when she came to visit. Mikasa grabbed the sheet to read.

"What is it?" she asked, returning the paper to Sasha.

"Can't you see? A family is looking for a babysitter in Stohess. I think you can apply. You need to work and it won't interfere with your studies."

Mikasa looked again at the page until she reached the ad that her friend was talking about.

"Do you think they pay well?"

"Are you kidding? That's Stohess, Mikasa. Of course, they pay well. They must have a lot of money to live there." Sasha replied, rolling her eyes. "Will you call?"

Mikasa sighed before speaking again.

"Well, you know I don't like children so much, but ... a job is a job. I need the money. I can't wait for Levi to send me money every month. He also has his duties.

"He's your older brother. He shouldn't be bothered about it."

"I know he doesn't, but ... I don't want to depend on him."

Sasha snorted, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You should stop being so self-sufficient, Mikasa."

Mikasa was about to answer, but at that moment the shop manager called Sasha to ask her a favor. The brown-haired girl walked away, just to be back a few seconds later.

"Hey, can you pass me that blue dress over there? That shiny one. I think it's spoiled." she asked, pointing to a row of dresses hanging from a shelf. Mikasa nodded and went there, not expecting anyone to stumble and knock her against the glass as they entered the shop.

"You should watch where you're going." a haughty boy with turquoise eyes said, surrounded by three boys, two of them taller than him, while the other one was shorter. His attitude infuriated Mikasa, who squeezed her fists with a glare.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea it was me who walked in here like a stupid drunk," she said, being as sarcastic as she could. The mocking smile disappeared from the green-eyed boy's face as his friends laughed.

"Do you work here? I could get you fired for that insolence," he said aloud, trying to repair his dignity.

"She doesn't but I." Sasha intervened, standing behind Mikasa to hold her before she raised her hand against the boy and a hell broke loose inside the store. "And you better go if you're not going to buy anything because she can kick your ass and send you to Mars if she wants to."

The taller boys burst out laughing, while the blond and shorter one seemed a little nervous. The brown-haired boy waved his hands, pretending to be scared.

"Oh my... And what is she supposed to do to get me out?"

"C'mon, let's go ..." the blond boy beside him whispered. But Eren shook from his friend's hands. Mikasa kept her gray eyes fixed on him, with a terrible desire to strangle the boy in front of her.

"Yes, Eren, you better avoid trouble and leave." Sasha insisted, fearing she couldn't contain her friend any longer. Her job at the store could be affected if something happened there.

"I won't leave. Do whatever the hell you want, but now I'll stay in the damn store all day, and you're not going to stop me unless you want me to complain to your boss."

"Eren, don't be stubborn and let's go ..."

"Let me alone, Armin. What are thinking these two? Don't they know who they're talking to? I could get you fired right now and never get hired anywhere else ..."

Eren couldn't raise his voice any longer. The next second, a blow to the face had knocked him to the ground. He reached his nose, then looked at it and saw the thick red liquid fall into his hand.

"Now I know who I'm talking to: an uncivilized bastard who doesn't know how to walk, much less talk," Mikasa said, her hand still close after beating him. Eren got up quickly, as his friends held him, believing he was going to face the dark-and-short-haired girl who seemed to be able to finish them all with a single wave of her hand, "Now get out, if you don't want to try another one of these." she warned him, clenching her fists in his direction. Eren was about to speak, but his other blond friend, the tall one, covered his mouth.

"I am sorry. My friend can be a little loudmouthed sometimes ... We apologize for this." the blond and shorter guy spoke more quietly, with some shyness. The four of them seemed to come from some upper-class neighborhood, judging by their clothes; but none was as arrogant as that Eren. And without saying much more, the four boys walked away, two of them holding their green-eyed friend, who didn't recover easily from the surprise that it took to know that a girl could strike him so hard, while the shortest of them followed, clearly ashamed. Sasha put her hands on her head in anguish as the automatic door closed again.

"Shit, what am I supposed to do now? He'll surely come back to ask Petra to fire me." Sasha said, almost crying. Mikasa patted her on the back.

"Nothing will happen. He is an idiot. If he was trying to come and buy, he can still go to another store. And if he wanted to complain, he would have screamed for everyone to hear. Spoiled babies like him never do anything they say, they just like to talk too much. That's all."

If someone asked Sasha to say a single reason she admired her best friend for, it was that Mikasa always knew how to calm her down. The store was big enough for no one else to notice the incident or at least anyone who might affect their job there. Both girls went back to where they were, near the counter, the brown-haired girl picking up the newspaper again.

"All right. Take out your phone and dial the number there. You need to work, because if I get fired, we won't go to eat ice cream like every Saturday night. Oh, and that punch was great. You can no longer say all that karate lessons that Levi made you take were to no avail."

Mikasa smiled at her friend's compliment. Sasha was right; her older brother might be a little grumpy, but everything he did had a reason to be. Then she pulled out her cell phone from her pocket and dialed the ad number. They didn't take long to answer from the other side.

"Hello? Yes, I call for the babysitter ad. I'd like to know if..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, finally. I didn't own an AO3 until now, but thanks to Valentine. I owe you my life gal xD  
> Well, This fic was previously posted on fanfiction. I've been working on this since last October and as much as I've progressed, I've noticed that my first chapters are short and not so revealing, but I promise that this changes later as the plot moves. Anw, thanks for reading and hope you like it.  
> Pd: If forgot to tell y'all that Im not a native english speaker so I apologize in advance for any grammar mistakes on sight. I'm trying to improve my english grammar skills in the meantime. Thanks for you understanding.


	2. A glare around the corner

It was amazing to see the dimensions of that place that looked more like a palace than a common house. Mikasa rang the doorbell and a woman in uniform opened the huge door to let her in. Stohess was one of the best neighborhoods in the city, and its luxuries and wide streets left open-mouthed to more than one; she was no exception. As a first-year college student, she lived in the dorms of the campus, having to share the room with her best but noisy friend Sasha. So finding a house so large and beautiful made her feel a bit overwhelmed.

"Yes, Can I help you?" the maid asked. She nodded.

"Er ... I came for the babysitter's announcement. I have an appointment here with Mrs ..."

"Ah, it's you. How punctual. That pleases me, come with me." said a woman with brown hair and big eyes, who seemed to be the owner. Mikasa stepped into the hall, trying not to gasp as she looked around. The woman reached out to greet her as she approached, while the maid closed the door. "You're Mikasa, right? My name is Carla Jaeger, I was the one who answered your call yesterday."

Mikasa nodded with a polite smile. Carla led her into a sitting room behind the hall. There was a burning fire, and a little girl sitting on one of the chairs who looked a lot like the woman.

"Look, Faye, your new nanny has arrived." the woman announced, surprising the girl a little. Faye jumped up and walked to Mikasa.

"Oh ... I thought you'd ask me questions before hiring me ... Mikasa said, shaking Faye's little hand, who after greeting, went back to her toy game. "Don't misunderstand me. I just didn't expect you to give me the job so soon."

Carla smiled. Her shining, huge eyes gave the impression that she was always smiling. She was a middle-aged woman, but she looked quite kind and youthful.

"Well, when you sent me your cv and I read it, I realized I couldn't let you go. See, my husband and I have been looking for someone to look after Faye for a month, and we haven't found a single person to convince us at all. I called the owners of the numbers you left on your profile, and I didn't get a single bad reference from you. You won a scholarship at Trost University, you have a flawless academic record and those who know you didn't give me a single complaint about you. So you're welcome, Mikasa."

Carla reached out her hand to the girl and she took it, giving her a handshake.

"Thank you, Mrs. Jaeger. I'll do my best to make you feel satisfied with my work."

"I don't doubt it. And call me Carla. The 'Mrs' makes me feel old." she said with a laugh. "What about starting tomorrow? I could show you the house and Faye's room now, and I'll meet you here tomorrow afternoon."

The dark haired girl nodded again, letting her hostess lead the way. Faye went with them, and Mikasa, somewhat fearful but happy to have found a job, soon began to chat with the girl and her mother, something quite unusual for her, considering she wasn't very talkative. She knew the big house and its surroundings, and when it was time to leave, she already knew half of Faye's fluffy toys, which she also had to say goodbye to. Then she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket before turning on her motorcycle to go home. It was Levi who answered on the other side of the line.

 _'Hi there, brat. What do you need?_ ' Levi said, in his usual sulky tone. But Mikasa knew he was glad to hear his little sister.

"Nothing. I was calling to tell you that I already have a job."

' _Mikasa, why are you so stubborn? How will you do with your studies? You can't lower your grades, or you'll lose the scholarship ... '_

"Don't worry. I'll work as a babysitter and I'll be able to study. You're not going to provide me all my life, are you?"

' _Of course not. My only interest in your studies is that one day you can pay me everything I'm giving to you today, you know that's not for free. I hope you do well in that, and if it interferes with your grades, I hope you leave it, okay? '_

Mikasa snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Levi, I'm not a child anymore. I know what my priorities are."

_'Yes, you are. Nineteen years don't make you an adult, I want you to know that. Are you coming home for Hanukkah? Hanji wants to see you. Tell me that you will come and so I won't have to put up with her for another second while she says the apartment is too big just for the two of us.'_

Levi looked annoyed, but Mikasa knew his brother and knew he was laughing to himself.

"Ok, ok. Tell her I'll be there for Hanukkah. I know you want to see me too."

_'Me? Of course not. You're annoying and I'm very busy. I'll let her know.'_

"Kay. I love you too, midget. I don't know how Hanji is still your girlfriend. I'm leaving. Wish me good luck."

_'Fine, brat. And don't call me a midget. Respect your older brother. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye.'_

"Bye," she answered, then hearing the familiar beep after the call to put the phone back to her pocket. She put on the helmet, turning on the motorcycle, and her eyes met an annoyingly familiar face at the end of the street. The boy of the broken septum had a bandage on his nose and glared at her through the window of that white BMW 320 he was driving. Neither of them stopped their vehicle, but there was enough hatred in their eyes to know that happenstance wasn't welcomed.

Mikasa wished she would never meet him again.

Eren wished she would break her nose too ... Though on second thought, the girl was too cute to want to see her hurt.

But she packed a punch, and that was enough for him to want at least to see her get off her motorcycle and end with a little scratch. Yes, a fall wouldn't do her any harm, but it'd be enough for him.


	3. World's biggest asshole

"Mikasa, I usually allow Faye to watch TV for an hour. Not one minute more nor one less. After that, she should sleep. I'll be back at nine; but if something happens and I'm not here at that time, you tell my driver to take you home, okay?"

Carla was talking as she took the car keys while putting on a cardigan. Mikasa nodded quickly, watching the movements of the girl's mother.

"But ... I brought my motorcycle, Mrs. Jaeger ..."

"None of that. You won't go home driving that thing that late at night. A car is safer, isn't it? I know it's your first day and I shouldn't scold you, but I'm a mother, and I know that yours wouldn't like to know that I let you ride a motorcycle that late at night."

Mikasa opened her mouth to object and say that her mother was no longer with her, but it wasn't the case. Carla was almost leaving, and her words seemed to be the last, to which the girl nodded again. Before the woman left, the front door opened, and a not-so-pleasant presence for Mikasa entered through it, making her breath catch in her throat.

"Hi, Mom. Are you leaving now? I thought..."

"Oh, Eren. What kind of miracle brought you home so early?" Carla said, closing her trench coat. Her son was going to say something, but she interrupted him. "Well, it doesn't matter. Look, I introduce you to Mikasa, your sister's new nanny."

When Eren turned his eyes to the girl, she was already looking at him with fuss, unable to believe what she had heard.

God no. Not him...

His nose was still bandaged. And his messy brown hair fell on his forehead, quite disheveled.

They were both silent for a moment.

"Do you know each other?" Carla asked, judging by the sudden tension settled over them. Eren stuttered a little before saying a word. Mikasa barely could hide her surprise and disappointment.

"No no no. I thought I saw her somewhere else, but no. Just my imagination. Tho ... Mom, are you sure you chose her well? Because it seems to me she packed a punch."

"Eren! Don't be so rude!" his mother scolded him with a frown. Mikasa wanted to kill him, or at least throw to him whatever she had at hand. But that wouldn't have been right. "Forgive him, Mikasa. I have a rather reckless son." the woman apologized, shaking her head. "A few days ago he came home with a broken nose, so just ignore it if you see him often in trouble. Okay, I'm leaving. Mikasa, if Eren bothers you, don't listen to him. He will end up getting bored anyway. And you, Eren, behave yourself; you're not five years old anymore. I think your sister's more civilized than you. Bye. See you at night."

Carla left quickly, after patting her son on the cheek as a farewell. She closed the door behind her, and Eren assumed an expression of arrogance, while Mikasa could have killed him with his eyes if she had had that power.

"I can't believe this." the boy started, crossing his arms against his chest. The girl clenched her fists and he noticed; but if she was about to hit him again, she was very wrong. "Look, what a coincidence, what a small world of this ..."

"Yeah, full of jerks like you. I'm going to tender my resignation right now."

"You're not going to ... Hey!" he yelled; But before he could react, Mikasa was on her way to the porch, running after Carla, before she got into her car.

"Mrs. Jaeger!" she called, causing her to stop. Carla left the car door ajar to listen.

"Is something wrong, Mikasa?"

"Yes. I came to ask you for ..."

"She came to ask where the bathroom is, ma. That's all. But she's stupid, she didn't want to ask me. You can go now." that Eren's sudden intervention left Mikasa almost open-mouthed. She didn't expect that, much less that he followed her there. Carla seemed to laugh about it.

"Have you forgotten where the first-floor bathroom is, Mikasa? Eren can help you with that. I gotta go now. And if you have to take care of him too, don't hesitate. That will be an extra payment because this boy can be a headache sometimes." Carla got into the car as she spoke, lowering the window glass to look at her eldest son. "Be good, Eren. Don't make the girl run away as you did with your last babysitter."

The mother turned on her car as she spoke her last words. Mikasa didn't know what to say or what to do now. Shit, this situation was uncomfortable. How could she deal with this? The boy she'd beaten was the son of the woman who hired her, and now everything could go to hell in a matter of time if he wanted to.

Without a single word, Mikasa turned around to cross the porch and enter the hall, ready to pick up her things and leave. She'd give later Mrs. Jaeger an excuse for why she'd left like this, with no explanation.

Eren's footsteps followed after her, but she didn't stop to look at him until he spoke.

"I think you're afraid. Afraid because you hit me before and now you're in my territory. You didn't see that coming."

Eren's words made her clench her fists again.

"I could bust your balls here and now, and that wouldn't be enough to let you know how much you bother me. I'm not willing to spend another second in the same place with someone like you."

"Damnit. You're pretty shameless, Mikasa. It was you who hit me and now it's you the one who feel offended."

"I think you want to try my fists again."

"And you think I won't respond? I know how to fight too, even if you're a girl." Eren said, approaching her, half defiant, half mocking. Mikasa soon challenged him as well.

"I don't think you can come out unscathed ..."

"Hey, I'm hungry. Can you gimme something to eat?" Faye's voice in the middle of the stairs caused her brother and her nanny to walk away, lowering their guard. The girl stared at them both, somewhat confused. "Were you guys fighting? Eren, I'll tell Mom that you want to make the babysitter go again, and you'll be in trouble."

"Mind your own business!" the boy grumbled, looking annoyed at the intervention of his younger sister. Mikasa walked over the girl with a protective gesture.

"I'll tell her," Faye warned him again, while Mikasa tried to make her go back to her room. Eren didn't say anything else, but quickly climbed the left stairs and then returned with Faye's favorite teddy bear in his hands.

"If you do, I'll split it in two," he warned, stretching the doll's arms. The girl cried aloud, while Mikasa watched the scene feeling kinda skeptical. God, Levi was grumpy, fairly strict, but he would never do something like that to his little sister, not even when she was a kid.

Maybe because they only had each other after what happened to their parents, but Levi would never have done something like that.

"You idiot! She's a little girl!" Mikasa said raising her voice in anger. "Shit, I'm outta here." Her rage drove her for a while and she was about to go down the stairs, but Faye grabbed her hand before he left.

"Please don't! He just wants to tease you. Don't go, Mikasa ..."

"No, don't go, Mikasa. Don't run away from me ..." Eren said, teasing her as Faye warned, making Mikasa roll her eyes as she snorted.

"Are you really so childish? God, I can't believe it. C'mon, Faye." she said to the girl, now going down the stairs to take her to the kitchen. Eren let out an irritating laugh.

"I thought you were going to quit, Mikasa!" he shouted from above. Faye kept staring at the teddy bear her older brother had still in his hands, but he seemed to have forgotten the reason he took him out of its place.

"I'm not here because of a jerk like you" she answered, thinking it twice. She wasn't going to lose her job for an idiot like him. She was willing to hit him again if she had to. Then she turned back to Faye, being away from the stairs. "Faye, this will be our secret, okay? Let's forget this happened, and we won't say anything about your brother ..."

-Bu-But ... He always spoils everything! If I don't tell Mom ..."

"If you tell your mother, I'll have to go, I won't be able to take care of you anymore. So ... let's just say this will be our friend's secret, okay?

Faye nodded quickly. Mikasa took her to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Neither of them realized Eren's presence there until he spoke out.

"I bet you won't last long," he said with dislike, his back against the kitchen door. Mikasa's left eye twitched with anger and turned around again to face him.

"I bet your nose won't be the only thing I'll break."

Faye looked at them both pretty confused. Eren laughed again, with the same unbearable expression.

"Ok. I give you a month. If you win, you'll hit me as hard as you want; but if I win, you won't only leave, but you'll have to give me all your payment.

Eren was really the biggest asshole.

But Mikasa agreed without hesitation, though in the end, she didn't want to accept the offer. But she also had her pride, and she was going to prove to him that he was the biggest jerk on earth.

With Faye's hand in hers, Mikasa came out of the kitchen, not before giving another death glare at Eren.

"One month will be enough for you to wait for a good beating."

They cast lots. And neither of them was willing to give up.

Mikasa couldn't wait until the end of the day to tell Sasha what kind of trouble she had gotten herself into.


	4. Armin, the wise

Armin couldn't believe what he heard from his best friend. The blond boy seemed affected after hearing what Eren had done and said to Mikasa, Faye's new nanny, and the same girl who had hit him in that clothing store. With a facepalm and much embarrassment, Armin shook his head in denial, while Reiner and Bertholdt, Eren's other two friends, laughed out loud.

"Eren, she's a girl. You can't be so rude." Armin scolded him, who was always the wisest of the four of them. Eren clenched his teeth.

"Girl or not, she's a haughty woman. She punched me for no reason and she must pay. That's why you're gonna help me."

Eren had left his glass of beer on the table with a thump. The nightclub they frequented was a little more crowded than usual that day, so they had to speak loudly in order to be able to listen.

"And what're you supposed to do, Eren?" Reiner asked, taking a sip of his drink. Bertholdt elbowed him, but he was laughing.

"If I want to win my bet and make her go away and pay me, I'll make life impossible for her. Armin, you're a genius and you have a morbid mind even if you don't want to admit it. Give me some ideas, please."

"Eren, I won't take any part in that silliness of yours. Leave the girl alone. Why can't you just get over it and pretend like nothing has happened?" said Armin, annoyed and bored at the same time.

"Because she won't take me for a fool. Hitting me will cost her dearly, don't you think, guys?" he asked, looking at Reiner and Bertholdt, who nodded, while Armin sighed.

"I think her reaction was kinda exaggerated," said Bertholdt. "Even though you should have restrained yourself a bit, Eren."

"At least someone's on my side!" Armin exclaimed over the people and music's noise. But Reiner and Eren shook their heads.

"The babysitter must receive her due. I wouldn't take that either." the taller blonde guy said. Eren clasped his hand with him at the sound.

"Well said, buddy. You see, Armin? Why is it that Reiner supports me and you don't?"

"Because you usually get into more trouble when you have one of your great ideas. I'm not gonna get into that game this time, neither save your ass again."

"C'mon, Armin. It'll be fun. A couple of pranks on the steel-fist girl wouldn't hurt anybody and we can spend a good time actually." Reiner cut him again. Armin twisted his mouth in disagreement.

"I said no. I'm sure they won't do well. Bertholdt, do something!" he shouted to the dark-haired boy. But Bertholdt shrugged.

"I'll go with the flow, Armin. You should relax a little," said Bert, almost finishing his drink. Armin facepalmed (again), clearly disappointed.

"I hope I won't have to say 'I told you so' when you guys decide to knock it off." None of his friends would agree with him, and Armin knew it. That was why he rose up from his chair to say goodbye, after finishing with the contents of his glass. "I'll see you tomorrow, guys. Bye".

"Goodbye, party-pooper!" Eren yelled as he walked away. Armin, with his back to them, lifted the middle finger of his right hand without looking at them, and soon they lost him from their sight. Reiner, already half dizzy, raised his hand to catch the attention of his friends instead of shouting.

"I have the perfect idea to scare away your nanny," he announced, leaning forward as if he was about to whisper.

"Go on, spit it out," Eren said, notoriously interested. The three ordered another round of beers before keeping the talk.

"What would happen if someone kidnapped Faye while she's taking care of her? I think your mother would be very pissed with that girl." Reiner suggested with a crooked and mischievous grin. Eren imitated him, taking another sip of his beer. Bertholdt seemed to be the only one shocked by the idea.

"Guys, we could go too far than expected with this ..."

"Shut up, Bert. Armin's gone, we don't need another one like him to scold us." Reiner replied with the same bluffing laughter. Eren and he raised their glasses, offering a toast.

"So be it." said the brown-haired boy, raising his glass again. "Any plan?"

"Well, we could wait for her and Faye to go to the park or somewhere crowded, and then we'll act. I'm strong, so I could knock the girl down while you take your sister away."

Reiner was convinced of his idea and very satisfied. Eren arched an eyebrow, looking quite interested.

"Not me, but Bert." Eren said with a grin. Berthold opened his eyes, not trusting his ears.

"I what?"

"Done. You're the guy, Bert." Reiner stated, drinking his beer. Neither Eren nor Reiner was willing to hear Bertholdt's complains.

"That's great. Let's wait for the right moment." If Mikasa had seen Eren's mocking face, she wouldn't have hesitated to break his nose again.

"Guys ..." Bert said, trying to stop them, but they shut him up.

"You'll see, Eren, everything will go as expected."

"That will be so, Reiner. The babysitter must leave, or I'll cut my balls." Eren scoffed. He and Reiner burst out laughing while his dark-haired friend stared at them in amazement and somewhat scared.

"Is that a promise? I'd kill to see you as a eunuch, Eren. I think you're able to endure anything but the lack of you-know-what." the blond boy said, though Eren didn't say anything about it, but drank from his glass instead. Reiner looked at the crowd of people dancing on the dance floor, noticing the girl who was approaching to them. "Hey, talking about certain things, here comes the queen of the night."

A blonde girl with a prominent nose made her appearance before the three boys. She seemed kinda arrogant, and her hair was tied up in a messy bun.

"Hi guys," Annie said, sitting next to Eren without paying too much attention to the others. Reiner waved her, raising his glass, while Eren winked at her. However, Bertholdt ...

Well, Bert's cheeks flushed at her sight, but the boy was thankful that the place was low-lighted, and so his blush wouldn't be noticed.

"There. That's my girl." Eren said, grabbing her waist. However, Bertholdt said nothing when Annie sat on Eren's legs and kissed him fiercely on his lips. Anybody would have said they were about to undress right there. Reiner scoffed, and his dark-haired friend remained silent while the other two were kissing. This had been the case for months, but there wasn't a single human being able to say that Eren Jaeger and Annie Leonhardt had a formal relationship.

In fact, for Eren, it was just ... a pastime.

And so was for Annie.


	5. Maybe, Sasha is right

Mikasa sighed as she pulled out her violin from the locker. Two days ago, Hanji had called to tell her that Levi had been about to die in a police operation, although he was already safe, but still in a hospital ward, recovering. Yes, her brother was now out of danger, and that was a relief for her, but she still had other problems: her academic duties seemed to have accumulated in a single week, and her newly acquired job hung in the balance, thanks to the nasty eldest son of Mrs. Jaeger. Maybe that was nothing compared to other people's problems, but she still could feel a huge burden on her shoulders.

"Here. You won't starve to death."

Sasha's hand was in front of her face, and she held a wrapped hamburger. Mikasa looked at the package and then at her friend, who had come out of nowhere.

"What is it?" she asked, kinda suspicious. Sasha rolled her eyes.

"Food. You didn't have breakfast this morning, and from what I see, you're not planning on having lunch either. Do you wanna starve to death? This afternoon you must go and take care of that girl and I won't let you faint for hunger."

Mikasa sighed again, but she grabbed the hamburger.

"I haven't had enough time. That's all."

"Nah. Bullshit. You're worried about Levi, and also about what happened with that Eren. What? Don't look at me like that, we've been friends since we sucked our thumbs so there's nothing you can hide from me."

Mikasa sighed again, closing her locker, her hand leaning on the small metal door.

"Sasha, that jerk can get his mother to fire me. I need to work."

"Hey, what's the problem? I know Levi isn't swimming in money, but ... he still supports you. Granted, you can ask Petra for a job in the store if you have no choice." Mikasa frowned and cocked her head.

"Petra won't hire me and you know it. I'm her ex's sister, Sasha. You know how things ended between her and Levi and I doubt she wants to have me there."

"C'mon, Mikasa. Don't overdo it, that Petra isn't a witch or anything like that. I'm sure she wouldn't hesitate to hire you if you need it. Besides, you shouldn't be afraid of what that asshole can do to you. You could break his face in one fell swoop and make him be afraid of you for the rest of his life. I've seen you do it before with those motherfuckers who bullied me at school."

"Sasha, this guy isn't a nobody. He's the son of the woman who hired me. I couldn't get into such a huge problem with a family like that. Ah, you should see that palace where they live, and their cars, and Faye's room ... If their parents are like him, they would be able to make Levi lose his job too. That would be a disaster."

"Mikasa, do you really think her mother is like him? I mean, she treated you very well, didn't she? Anyway ... Don't be so pessimistic. You never give up on anything, what happens to you today?" Sasha said, patting her on the shoulder. Her friend smiled weakly, hanging her violin on her shoulder. "Eat it. Perhaps it's the lack of food what got you like this. And I don't want any excuse, or I'll call Levi to tell him you don't want to eat anything."

"Sasha, you wouldn't do that!"

"Try me. My best friend won't starve if it depends on me. And if I have to get Levi to come down here and give you a scolding, I won't hesitate."

Mikasa grunted and clenched her teeth.

"I'll eat it only because I'm already hungry," she warned. That was enough for her friend.

"All right. By the way ... I forgot to tell you something." Sasha said. Both of them kept walking on their way to the campus dining room.

"What is it?" Mikasa asked. The brown haired girl reached a hand to scratch her head.

"Well ... Connie told me yesterday that ... That Jean wants to hang out with you"

"Kirschtein?"

"Yeah. Is there any other Jean you know?" Sasha said. Mikasa sighed, tilting her head.

"How many times do I have to say no to him?"

"Hey, don't be so mean. He likes you and he's been chasing after you since the day he met you. Why don't you give him a chance? He's a nice boy and also very handsome."

"I don't give a damn if he's handsome or not. He's a horse face anyway."

Mikasa's coldness when talking about Jean only made Sasha laugh out loud. The black-haired girl unwrapped the hamburger and started to eat as they walked.

"Mikasa, you can't deny he is a sweet boy. He's drooling for you, and you don't even give him a chance; in fact, I've never seen you interested in any guy ..."

"If you're suggesting that I'm a lesbian, Sasha, no. I'm not." Mikasa said nonchalantly.

"No. If you were, I'd know it already. We have slept enough times in the same bed to notice your sexual tendencies if you were. I think you're asexual. And I don't like that."

"Hey! Are you insane? Why should you worry about that?"

"Because you are fucking nineteen years old, Ackerman! It's about damn time! You should give a guy as nice as Jean a fucking chance, and fuck him already. I'm sure he would ask you to marry him in a blink of an eye."

"Agh. Why don't you date him and fuck him if you want?"

"Because I already have Connie. He is a gifted man (very well gifted), "Sasha was smirking blatantly, emphasizing the word 'gifted'" and I love him. But you, Mikasa, you should give yourself a chance. You deserve someone who makes you happy ..."

They both sat at one of the tables as they entered the cafeteria. Mikasa left the hamburger on the table, evidently annoyed.

"Who told you that I'm not happy?"

"No. You aren't. You live under stress, worrying about doing everything always perfectly and you never give yourself a breath. You don't have to please the teachers, Mikasa; your grades don't have to be perfect. You don't have to please Levi, nor me, nor anybody. You don't smile, you don't enjoy anything, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of seeing you become a zombie since ..."

Sasha fell silent abruptly. Mikasa looked at her suspiciously, though it wasn't the first time they had such arguings.

"Since when? Spit it out! Let go of everything, Sasha Braus."

"Since your parents died! There! Is that what you wanted to hear? Well, there you have it. It wasn't your fault. You were a child and you could do nothing to stop it. Are you happy now? You must get over it, because they wouldn't be happy to see their daughter become a fucking walking machine."

Mikasa swallowed, though her gray eyes were now looking at Sasha, clearly puzzled ...

As for Sasha, it was very hard to make her angry. Only Mikasa and Connie had that power. And there she was now: with her hand under her chin, regretting these words yelled at her best friend, causing her eyes to water. But she wasn't going to apologize. Not yet. Mikasa must know that she was right and everything she said was for her own sake.

A light-haired boy approached the table. He was tall and good-looking, and his cheeks flushed at the sight of the black-haired girl with almond-shaped eyes. Mikasa wiped her tears away before Jean could see them slipping out from her eyes. Sasha stared through the window, unable to look at her best friend again.

"Hi, girls." Jean waved them with a smile, sitting on the other side of the table, next to Sasha and in front of Mikasa. "Uh ... Is something wrong?"

"No. Have you seen Connie?" Sasha asked in a broken voice. Jean nodded.

"He's on the third floor. He said he had something to do ..."

And the girl didn't wait any longer. Before Jean could finish, she rose from her chair and left, while her best friend watched her walking away, holding back the tears that wanted to get out of her eyes.

"Mikasa, are you okay?" Jean asked, blushing again. Mikasa shook her head, coming out of her thoughts.

"Uh... yes. Can I help you?"

And the boy blushed again at the girl's words, but she didn't mind. Jean's hand reached up to his neck to scratch because of his nerves.

"Well, I was wondering if you had anything to do tonight ... It's Friday, and I thought that maybe we could go somewhere. Obviously, just if you want; because if you don't, I won't force you to do anything. I mean, it's not that I'm going to, I don't want you to feel pressured because I don't want to screw it up. Because every time I talk to you, that's exactly what I do ... Damn it. I did it again." he muttered. "Sorry, I talk too much."

"It's okay," she replied. Jean's breath got caught in his throat for a second, after her answer. He stammered right before talking.

And though Mikasa remained as indifferent as always, he couldn't help but get excited.

"Er ... Really? I mean, really? It's just that I didn't expect ..."

"Will we meet somewhere, or will you pick me up?"

Jean stammered again. His face was all red, and he couldn't believe what he heard. Mikasa Ackerman had finally said yes.

"No no no. I ... I'll pick you up. I ... " The boy sighed. His hands were shaking already. "Oh, God ... I have classes now, but ... I'll see you later, okay?"

Jean leaned forward as if waiting for another affirmative answer. But Mikasa only nodded, not looking at him. The boy felt a little disappointed, though to tell the truth, nothing could ruin his happiness at this point.

She was the girl of his dreams. And that had been a step in the right direction, after so many attempts.

When Jean left, Mikasa raised her head, wondering why she had said yes.

Sasha's words had gotten right into her bones, despite as painful as they were, and she knew her best friend was right. She must give herself a chance. Her parents wouldn't have been happy to see her like that, and neither would Levi. But she couldn't get out of her head the night she saw them being murdered in front of her eyes when she was twelve.

However, she couldn't be mad at Sasha. Everything she did and said was only because she wanted to see her happy; so she would go out with Jean, even if she didn't like him. Maybe there would be something more ... Just maybe. But she wasn't expecting for anything. Jean was not her type of guy, but until now, he was one of the few who didn't act like an asshole.

And speaking of the devil, she had to plan a way to scare Eren Jaeger out. Yes. Sasha was also right about this: if she had been able to beat him without knowing him, what was preventing her from scaring the shit out of him this time? Besides, little Faye was her ally. She wouldn't go to hell for having a little fun with a seven-year-old girl, trying to annoy her big brother.

Yeah. Maybe this could be funnier than expected.

 

* * *

 

And Jean took her to the cinema, and although Mikasa thought he would try to take her hand or hug her while they watched the movie, none of that happened. So she felt quite grateful, or so it was, until it was time to go home. Jean got out of the car and ran to next door to open it, like a gentleman. But she didn't expect to get a kiss on the cheek when she was out of the car.

"Jean," she said, clearing her throat. He looked at her with bright eyes, like a child waiting to receive the desired Christmas gift. "I'd rather we keep physical contact to zero."

Ah. He didn't see that coming.

Two disappointments on the very same day.

But he tilted his head quickly, and though his smile faded, he tried not to let his heart sink.

"Eh ... I'm sorry. I didn't want to..."

"It's okay," she said, hanging her jacket on her arm. "I just want you to keep it in mind ... Bye, and ... thank you."

"Yeah, you don't have to thank ... It was a pleasure ... watching movies with you." Jean thought it twice. Saying something like "it was a pleasure to spend the night with you" could be as if touching a sensitive and dangerous nerve, and she wasn't going to like it. Besides, he didn't want to cross that line.

The boy waited for her to enter the building and then leave. Well, things hadn't happened as he expected, but at least he could date Mikasa for that night.

The mere fact of having her next to him, made him smile.

 

* * *

 

Mikasa took off her shoes as she entered the room she shared with Sasha. Her friend was already there, watching TV, but neither of them said anything for a while.

It was until Sasha, regretfully, decided to break the ice.

"I'm so sorry I told you these nasty things this morning. I'm sorry I made you remember... these things."

Mikasa snorted as she listened to her, sitting at the computer table. Then she turned around to see her.

"No. I'm the one who is sorry, Sash ... You ... you were right."

Sasha sat up in bed, leaving the remote control aside.

"So ... is that why you agreed to go out with Jean?" she asked, though the black-haired girl barely nodded. "How was it?"

"Nothing special. But he's a good boy."

"You speak of him as if he was a dog." Sasha had to hold her laughter. Mikasa rolled her eyes.

"Dog...? Or horse?"

So it was. Sasha laughed again, and Mikasa laughed too, though more moderately than her brown-haired friend.

"Sasha ..." she called, as the laughter began to fade. "Thank you for making me come to my senses ... I needed it."

Sasha locked her eyes on her best friend for a second, very interested.

"What did you need? Hang out with Jean or come to your senses again?"

Mikasa snorted again, giggling.

"Come to my senses again."

"Well, I'm your best friend. Granted, I am the only one who can tell you the truth without the fear of being punched in the face, so why not do it?

"Privileges," Mikasa replied, with some haughtiness that made her friend laugh again.

"Ah. You and your morbid sense of humor. Who would deny that you are Levi's sister?"

"Just him."

"Is he ok now?" Sasha asked, opening a bag of chips. Her black-haired friend shrugged.

"I doubt it, but he'll always say yes because he doesn't like to worry anyone."

"Oh, you see? You're both identical. By the way, did you stop worrying about that Eren?"

Mikasa shook her head, but now she didn't seem annoyed at the thought, but rather relaxed.

"No. But I think that if he does something against me, I'll have to make him get a taste of his own medicine."

"That is my girl!" Sasha screamed, jumping out of bed to high five Mikasa. One of them laughed, as the other smiled shyly. They couldn't ask for more. After so many years of friendship, it was impossible to remain upset with each other.

They were best friends after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right. I hope you liked chapter 5, noticing that I wanted to do it longer than the others in order to go deeper into Mikasa and Sasha's relationship. I love their friendship, and I hate that Isayama doesn't make them closer in canon because they are opposite poles, but as friends, they would be the perfect duo, and if the mountain won't come to Muhammad, then Muhammad must go to the mountain xD. Yes, you already noticed that Mikasa has a dark side, and it's her insensitivity to make fun of Jean, despite how cute he is. Mikasa is my main female character, but I hate to portray her as a sensible and perfect girl because she is not. I like human and flaw personalities; I like to portray human characters with whom we can feel identified and hate them at the same time, sometimes. Well, that was all.  
> I wanna thank Val for giving me her AO3 account bc I didn't own one.  
> Enjoy it and leave your kudos and reviews :v They're always appreciated.


	6. A failed attempt

"Hey, do you know how to multiply by nine?"

Faye held her maths notebook in front of Mikasa's face. She was making a puppy face, but her babysitter knew exactly what that look meant.

"Faye, I can help you, but I won't do your homework." the black haired girl replied with a warm smile. The younger girl grunted.

"It's ... This is very difficult. Why should we be tortured like this at school?

"Well, I don't know, but someday it'll be worth it. When does your math teacher come?

"It's supposed to be today. But he called to say he was sick, and I have to deliver this assignment tomorrow, holy shit!"

"Faye!" Mikasa scolded her, frowning. "Do you think your mother would let you say those things?"

"Well, no, but she's not here, and Eren says it all the time." the girl said, shrugging.

"Er, Eren is Eren and you are you. Besides, your brother is a rude man, and you're a baby girl. I don't want to hear those rude things again, okay?"

Faye snorted, then nodded.

"Will you help me to do this homework?"

"You promise not to curse anymore?"

And she snorted again before answering. Mikasa wanted to laugh, but she didn't; that wouldn't be appropriate.

"Ok. But help me with this."

Mikasa gestured for her to give her the notebook to read. Faye did as she was told, sitting next to her nanny on the back garden rocket chair.

"Surely you do cuss," Faye said, trying to stifle a giggle. Her babysitter shook her head.

"No. I don't like that." she lied. Some years ago that might have been true, but by now, Sasha had made her curse more than once.

"Does your mom get angry, too? Mine goes crazy if she hears that from me."

Mikasa sighed. She didn't like to talk about it, least of all with a seven-year-old girl.

"Actually, my mom ..."

"Ah, there you are, little stinker. Zeke called. He said he can't come to pick you up to go to the amusement park because he must work."

The sudden appearance of Eren caused Mikasa to raise her head and roll her eyes to see who it was. The boy had that mocking smile on his face, and he had let himself grow a short beard. A remote corner of Mikasa's brain thought that if she hadn't hated him so much, she would have noticed how handsome he was.

Faye's face was immediately saddened by the news.

"But ... He said ..."

"Call him if you want, and ask him. I have nothing to do with that." Eren replied, raising his hands. Faye felt tears stinging her eyes.

"Can you go with me, Eren?" the little girl asked pleadingly to her older brother. Mikasa was staring at her with some sadness.

"No way. Armin will come to play video games and I'll be busy. Why don't you ask that to your babysitter? That's her job." said the boy, before he left with a swagger air. Mikasa clenched her fists and teeth, hating to contain herself in order to avoid the blatant desire of punching his face. He was annoying. He was the most obnoxious and infuriating human being she had ever known.

Faye's sobs brought her out of her murderous thoughts.

"He promised ... But he's like Dad: he never does what he promises. They only work and work, and that's why Mama gets angry with Daddy ... And now Zeke also breaks his promises ... And Eren just makes fun of me ..."

Seeing the silent cry of the girl, Mikasa felt her heart sinking. She could understand a little more now how broken this family was; although from the outside, everything seemed perfect, if you didn't watch closely.

Mikasa tilted her head, rubbing Faye's back with her hand, calmly.

"Hey, don't worry, we'll go together if you want."

"For real?" Faye exclaimed excitedly with bright eyes, though her face was still wet with tears. Mikasa nodded quickly, wiping her face.

"Of course. Well, if you do your homework first."

Faye nodded swiftly, ready to obey to get her prize. At the same time, Mikasa wondered how this lovely girl and that nasty guy could be related ...

And she was also kinda regretting her promise to take her to the park without having much money. Because, to be honest, her pockets were about to be emptied, but she couldn't leave that child with a heart so broken; she wasn't able to do that.

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you happy now, Faye?" Mikasa asked, taking the little girl by the hand while she was eating a cotton candy. Faye nodded, hopping as she walked. The two sat down on a bench to rest at the end of the park, after enjoying a couple of amusement rides. Well, at least Mikasa had spent less money than expected, and that was more than satisfactory.

"Of course! Thank you, Mikasa! I wish I had an older sister like you." Faye looked happier than usual, and her huge turquoise eyes shone, full of joy. "My brothers are not so cool ... I think they don't love me, and neither does Daddy ..."

This brightness in the girl's eyes disappeared almost instantaneously, and Mikasa noticed it immediately.

"Hey, hey, don't say that. You are a wonderful child, and your family does love you ... It's just ... They have different ways for showing it."

Faye shook her head at her babysitter's word while eating her cotton candy.

"It's a lie. That's what Mama says, but I know it's a lie, because they never have enough time for me."

"Faye, sometimes adults ..." Mikasa cleared her throat. "Sometimes adults do things we don't like, but that doesn't mean they don't love us."

"That's not true. If Daddy loved Mom, he wouldn't work as much as he does. If Eren loved me, he wouldn't tell me those nasty things he says, that I stink or that he doesn't want me around, and Zeke would come and visit me more often. Though Mama doesn't like him very much, because he is the son of another woman and not Mama's, and she says that he has a bad influence on Eren.

There it went: another hint of information Mikasa didn't ask for, catching it inadvertently. But as much as Faye spoke, many things began to fit in.

Yes, children could be little gossipers sometimes.

"You'll see. Eren will change his behavior, and Zeke will come to visit you." Great, Mikasa. Telling lies to a seven-year-old girl was a very charming thing. Bravo of you. "For now, don't worry about things you can't solve, right? You're too young for that. The adult world is just ... complicated."

Mikasa sighed. It was hard to explain something like that to a child.

Faye finished with her candy cotton and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt before her babysitter could do it.

"I'll never grow up. I'll stay as a seven-year-old for life."

Faye's comment made Mikasa to keep a laugh.

"Ah, that's the wisest thing anyone could ever want," she said, messing up Faye's brown hair.

"No, I want to go and live with Armin ... Hmph!" she breathed, covering his mouth with her hands. Mikasa opened her eyes, surprised. Now she understood why Faye blushed every time Eren's best friend was around.

"Hey, hey, is there anything you want to tell me?" she asked, but Faye shook her head, not removing her hands from her mouth. "It's okay. Surely it's a secret you will never want to tell anyone and you will have to keep with yourself for life without anyone being able to help you ..."

If Mikasa had learned anything from Hanji, Levi's girlfriend, was that using reverse psychology on children was a good strategy to achieve something with them. Hanji was an elementary school teacher in Shiganshina and had plenty of experience dealing with tiresome brats.

Surely that was why she had endured Levi for more than three years.

"I want to marry Armin!" Faye cried, her face burning with embarrassment. Luckily, the amusement park was so noisy that no one could hear her.

Mikasa refrained herself from laughing. Though she thought that was the cutest statement she could ever hear.

"Yeah, Armin is a nice guy," she said, standing up to her feet to start the way home. Faye took her hand, still flushed, as they walked away from the hustle and bustle.

"Do you like Armin too?" the girl asked naively, her eyes wide.

"Oh no." Mikasa was about to let her know that she didn't understand how Armin was best friends with someone like Eren Jaeger, but she restrained herself again and said nothing about it. "He's a good boy, yes, or so it seems. But that's all. I don't even know him well."

"He's nice to me, and he always gives me candies. Mama likes him and she scolds Eren all the time because she says he should imitate Armin's behavior, and join less with that Reiner. I hate him; I don't like that Reiner when he visits us.

Well, Faye could be such a little gossiper.

Mikasa decided to change the topic of conversation. She was not interested in talking about Eren's nasty friends at all.

"Don't you think Armin is a little older for you, Faye?" she asked, but Faye shook her head.

"It's okay. Love has no age."

The girl's words made Mikasa gasp with amused astonishment.

"Well. Those are strong words."

"I wish Armin ... Ah!"

Neither of them expected that. Faye was held by someone who came out of nowhere, while Mikasa was grabbed tightly by another one. They both had ski masks so they wouldn't be identified, and the guy who grabbed Faye started to walk away with her now, while she tried to shake off from her kidnapper.

"Mikasa!" she screamed desperately. Her babysitter tried to get rid of the other, taking her strength as an advantage, because three shakes later, she could turn around, painfully twisting her attacker's arms to immobilize him and punch him in the jaw, knocking him down immediately. He looked taller than she was, but this fact wasn't going to stop her from rescuing Faye. The stranger fell to the ground and Mikasa hit him again with one hand, while the other handcuffed his arms, pressing them.

"Let her go or your friend's a dead man!" she shouted, giving a death glare to the man who intended to take Faye away. The kid was still struggling against him, and he stopped immediately, turning around to the girl who kept his friend still on the ground.

And Mikasa could see that tall man's eyes, and she knew that it wouldn't také too long before he gave in to the fear of seeing his friend in danger. He was sweating copiously through his ski mask. She tightened her grip, making the guy on the floor to scream in pain. She wasn't playing: if that guy didn't release Faye, she would break her hostage's arms, running right after that to catch the other and break his legs with a blow.

"Let her go now!" she demanded in a strong, threatening voice. And it didn't take more than three seconds before he saw Faye on the floor, running toward her. But that wasn't enough; they had to pay for daring to do something like that. Mikasa stood up and kicked the guy on the ground, leaving him breathless, running then to the other to knock him down as well. Although it didn't take her too much: this latter was weaker than the first one, despite being taller. A titanic height if asked.

And without any delay, Mikasa took Faye by the hand and ran with her, on their way back home.


	7. Bad companies

Mrs. Jaeger could not believe what she heard from Faye. She was upset, totally incensed by the lack of safety in that amusement park, but at the same time, she was grateful to Mikasa that the girl had saved her daughter. Carla couldn't restrain herself from hugging the girl as a gesture of gratitude and relief because she couldn't imagine what would have happened to her little girl if the nanny didn't intervene.

"I'll call the police. This won't stay like this ..."

"Mrs. Jaeger ..." Mikasa called, her voice soft, raising her hand so that Carla would look at her. "I think it's not worth it. Faye and I couldn't see these guys' faces and ... I think it'll be difficult to give a statement if the police require it."

"They had ski masks, mama," Faye said, still excited by her nanny's strength. "Mikasa is my heroine, she's like a super girl; You should've seen how he made them run away!" the girl exclaimed, clenching her fists with excitement and shining eyes. Carla smiled at her, a mixture of relief and concern on her face. Then she hugged her daughter once more, while Mikasa watched the scene with some sadness, which she decided to hide as soon as the mother of the child looked at her again.

"Mikasa, I owe you my life. How could I pay you this?"

"That's not necessary, Mrs. Jaeger. What kind of nanny would I be if I didn't protect Faye? That's my job, actually, besides ... She and I have become good friends, haven't we? That's what friends do."

Hearing her nanny's words, Faye jumped on her to hug her. Mikasa, although a bit overwhelmed, wasn't able to remain indifferent to the girl's action, who loved her now as an older sister.

"You're awesome," Faye said. "I wish my bros were like you."

"Mikasa, I know you're too humble, as well as I know you won't accept anything aside from your payment; but you saved my daughter from just God knows what dangerous fate could it be, and that's why you can ask for whatever you want, okay? I'll never be thankful enough for this." The look on Mrs. Jaeger's eyes was really warm, so warm and cozy that it reminded her of her own mother.

The dark haired girl nodded, clearing her throat. She was always careful of not being caught crying, and this time wouldn't be the exception.

It had been a month since she started working with the Jaegers, and it was the first time she felt that way.

"If this is satisfying enough for you to know ..." she cleared her throat again. "I'll come to you when I need it, Mrs. Jaeger."

Before Carla could say anything in response, Eren was going down the stairs to the living room. Armin had left a while ago, after playing two Call of Duty rounds. Faye wanted to ask where the boy was, but that would've been too suspicious.

"Eh, what's this family reunion for?" He asked towards his mother, without looking at Mikasa, although he knew very well that she was there.

"Eren! Eren, some guys tried to kidnap me, but Mikasa saved me! Can you believe it? She hit them both and left them crying like babies!" the girl exclaimed, her eyes shining with excitement. Eren could know now what had happened.

But it seemed incredible to him. Yes, her little sister's babysitter could have a heavy hand, but it was impossible that she could kick the shit out of two strapping guys like Reiner and Bertholdt.

"Yeah?" Eren asked, arching an eyebrow. Although only Mikasa noticed the sarcasm in his voice.

And she wasn't going to look at him either.

"I think they tried to kidnap Faye, Eren. But luckily Mikasa knew exactly what to do, and she was able to save her. She is a strong girl; Now I am absolutely convinced that I made the best decision when I hired her."

Everything began to fit in. Now he knew why Reiner hadn't answered his phone calls some minutes ago.

"Ah, she's a supergirl, I see. They should do a reality show with her, don't you think? I'm sure it'll be a success." He said, kinda upset. He had to find out what had happened, so he pulled the car keys out of his pocket and headed for the door.

"Eren, don't be rude." her mother scolded him, with brows furrowed. Faye was still holding on to Mikasa, who refrained herself from looking at the boy who was about to leave. "How is it that you hear your sister was in danger, and you don't even ask how is she? What kind of big brother are you, Eren?"

"Ah, Carla, a very bad one. Now, if you'll excuse me …" Eren replied, dismissively. Carla's eyes lit with anger at his attitude.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Somewhere out there."

"And what about Armin? Wasn't he here a while ago?" the mother asked. Her son was starting to get impatient.

"He left," Eren replied with annoyance. Seeing that awkward scene, Mikasa decided to move away a little from there, along with Faye.

"And what are you going to do out there? Joining again that pair of good-for-nothing boys? - Carla's voice rose a bit in anger. Eren hated when his mother talked about his friends like that.

"It's better than spending time in this damn house!" the boy replied, leaving immediately after slamming the door behind him. Carla sighed in frustration and sadness, wondering when was that her relationship with her son become that rough.

Then she turned her head away and thanked heavens that Mikasa's prudence would have kept her from having to look her in the eye after arguing with Eren.

 

* * *

 

 

Eren didn't really expect himself to be later, waiting for someone at the hospital where his father was the chief physician. Bertholdt called to tell him that Faye's nanny broke Reiner's left arm, and now they must wait while the doctors treated him.

"Are you Reiner Braun's relatives?" A nurse asked, holding a notebook in her hand. Bertholdt raised his head from his seat in the chair. Eren turned to the voice from the window.

"I'm his brother," Bertholdt said before Eren screwed it up. "He's our friend." said the black-haired boy, gesturing to Eren. The nurse nodded.

"Well, you can go in, but he can't," she said. Eren shook his head.

"I'm Dr. Jaeger's son. Is it necessary to make this longer? Or should I call my dad to let me in?"

The nurse opened her eyes widely, clearly surprised.

"Oh, no, of course not. Sorry. You can go too. But you guys only have half an hour left, okay?"

Both boys nodded, while the woman let them go into the room where Reiner was. His arm was bandaged, while the heart rate monitor recorded his heartbeat and blood pressure, with an intermittent and annoying beeping that echoed throughout the room.

"Eren! That girl is the devil herself!" The blond boy shouted as soon as he saw his comrade. His arm ached painfully and he could barely endure it. "It didn't work. I won't do something like that again."

Eren seemed downcast, his hands on his head.

"No, it didn't work at all. Now she seems to be a heroine, and my mother and Faye never get tired of praising her. It just all went to shit."

Reiner let out a laugh, despite how badly he was in pain.

"Will you give up? I want you to know that I won't face Satan's daughter again, but that doesn't mean you have to give up on your idea of getting your mother to fire her.

"I dunno. I don't wanna think about that for now. Look what we got, your arm broke; things were not supposed to end like this."

"I think ... that Armin was right after all." Bertholdt intervened, his voice low. Eren grumbled.

"He can't be right forever. And Reiner is right: I made a bet with her and I'm not willing to lose it ..."

Eren's phone rang at the moment, and he pressed the screen to answer.

"Yea, hello there babe ..." Eren paused. "So won't you come? Reiner has been your friend for longer than me, how are you going to bail out of him now?" Another pause. "Shit, sometimes you worry more about your rock band than your real friends ... Whatever, see you then ..." Eren turned off the phone screen, letting out a snort. "It was Annie. She says she's not coming. She and her band are gonna attend a contest."

Bertholdt swallowed hard, while Reiner looked at him out of the corner of his eye, without saying a word about it.

"I think you should get used to it, Eren. It's not that we need to see her boring face here all the time. But now tell me, what will you do with the evil babysitter?"

For the first time since he arrived at the hospital, Eren gave his friend a sly grin. Reiner was good enough at giving people nicknames.

"We have to wait. I'll think about something great to make her fail."

"Well said," Reiner said, joining his fist with his friend's. Bertholdt let out a nervous giggle.

That was the exact reason Carla didn't like Eren's friendship with those two boys. It was true that Eren had a particular trend to get into trouble, but the rate of troubles increased as he started hanging out with these two. Especially with Reiner.

That was every mother's nightmare.

* * *

 

"C'mon, I wanna see if I can guess another one."

Faye clapped enthusiastically watching her nanny with her violin. Their most recent favorite game was this where Mikasa played a part of a random music piece, and Faye would have to guess it. The child had already failed six times before, but she liked the sound of violin so much that she insisted on keeping on playing. It had been a week since the park incident, and Mikasa still didn't know who was the one behind everything.

"Give me some clue, please! Just one!" the girl insisted pleadingly, sitting in front of the library's grand piano while watching Mikasa playing that piece with great ease. The bow's friction on the strings produced a contagious and crescendo-ed melody, with a slight but pronounced rhythm.

"Hmm." Mikasa murmured without stopping playing. "Boats. Open sea." Faye clicked her fingers several times.

"I got it, I got it, but I don't remember its name. It's a movie ... I know it ..."

"If it helps you, the title starts with P."

But despite her nanny's answer, the girl continued squeezing her eyelids, as if that might make her remember.

And it took a little longer, but she did it.

"Jack Sparrow!" she exclaimed, her voice full of joy. "That's from Jack Sparrow's movie!"

"Pirates of the Caribbean," Mikasa said, finishing the piece. "But this time you guessed right."

"Yes!" Faye clapped again in response. The babysitter hung her violin once again between her shoulder and her chin to play again.

"Ok. Well done. Another round?"

"Yes Yes Yes. Please! Just one more."

Mikasa started with the opening theme of Game of Thrones, but then she remembered Faye was too young to watch a series like that, so she stopped, starting another one of her favorites, one that the girl would probably recognize.

A melody of mysterious tinge with minor progressions and magical touches came out from the violin. Faye stared at her nanny, who smiled, looking forward to finish the whole piece, although Faye could guess.

But she couldn't. A foreign voice to both o them made her stop.

"John Williams. That's Hedwig's theme. And if you like Harry Potter, I bet your house is Hufflepuff."

"Eren! You always spoil everything! I was going to say that!" Faye shouted angrily, frowning to her older brother, who was standing by the door, arms crossed against his chest. Mikasa didn't bother to look at him.

"Well, Faye. I think we can end this and go somewhere else." Mikasa said, putting the violin in its case. Eren scoffed at her.

"Ah, the badger must flee after hearing the lion's roar." Eren scoffed again. It seemed that he had found his new source of pleasure: to annoy the shit out of Mikasa. "Yes, I'm a Gryffindor. Only the best ones are sorted there."

"You're such a nuisance, Eren. Nobody asked you anything. Why don't you leave?" Faye looked absolutely pissed, especially when she saw that her older brother was trying to lock their way to the exit.

"Because this' my house too and I'm not in the mood for leaving. The one who must go is this Hufflepuff. Badgers are not accepted here."

Mikasa sighed, walking slowly towards the door. Eren straightened up, not going to let her move so easily.

The nanny waited for a few seconds, but he didn't move. They stared into each other's eyes then, fixedly and for the first time, fiercely. Mikasa's face remained quiet (or at least that's how she looked), Eren's kept that mocking expression she hated.

"Can you let us go away, please?" she said, apparently calmed. Eren shook his head.

Faye was watching the scene, expectantly, almost amused. She knew something cool was about to happen and she wanted to see it with her own eyes.

"Take me off if you can." Eren challenged her. Mikasa sighed, shaking her head; then she took Eren's breath away with a blow that he didn't see coming.

"I don't need to speak Parseltongue for you to know how we snakes behave. And you, you don't deserve to be a Gryffindor. You're more of a filthy little mudblood."

With a look of contempt to the boy who was now writhing in pain on the floor trying to catch his air, Mikasa grabbed Faye's hand and left the library. The child was speechless: her nanny had just knocked out her older brother.

"Whoah! That was great! He deserved it for being boastful." Faye said, laughing. Mikasa put her index finger over her mouth.

"Not a word of this to anyone, all right, Faye?

Faye mimicked her, trying to hide a giggle.

"I'm quiet as a tomb".

Mikasa smiled modestly, as always, though with satisfaction. At least she had been able to make Eren Jaeger get his due.

And while she was going out the hall with Faye to go to the garden, the Jaeger's maid let in someone that Mikasa never thought to see again in her life.

What was Annie Leonhardt doing in the Jaeger house?

Mikasa couldn't help but notice with some astonishment that her nose looked a little more prominent than she remembered.

Both girls looked slightly defiant, recognizing each other immediately.

Eren was there too, recovering from the blow.

"Ackerman." the blonde girl said with an empty but haughty voice. "I see that you've not been able to overcome your trauma after all this time."

"Leonhardt," Mikasa replied calmly, although in the inside she was boiling with anger at the statement. "After all this time, I doubt you have exceeded me in anything. Let's go, Faye." the dark haired girl warned, veering off the path to the back garden. Annie didn't have an answer to that, which left her with a horrible and exasperating sense of frustration as her teeth chattered, reminding her of her school days in Shiganshina with Mikasa Ackerman, the girl who had always excelled her in everything, no matter how hard she tried. Eren, who didn't understand anything, waited for an explanation, but Annie didn't say anything about it.

Neither of them understood the presence of the other in Eren Jaeger's house, and that made it all the more upsetting.


	8. Here we go again

Sasha was walking around the bed where Mikasa sat on. She had a hand on her head, the other one was on her waist, and lips knitted, thoroughly.

"I can't believe it ... Is really Annie Leonhardt Eren Jaeger's girlfriend? Are you serious?" she asked, totally amazed. Mikasa nodded. "What a small world. I don't think you could expect to find her there in a thousand years."

"Great. One more problem for me, isn't it?" Mikasa sighed, trying to get her thoughts straight while bending her neck. "Not only do I have to put up with that idiot, but also Leonhardt, once again, after all these years."

Sasha sat next to her friend, shaking her head.

"No no no. You know it's not like that. You just have to ignore them, Mika. It's not like you have to see them 24 hours per day, do you?

"As awful as this is going, this becomes increasingly difficult for me. I think I'll end up quitting, after all."

"What the hell? And to please Jaeger? For God's sake, who are you and what have you done with my best friend? No no no. I can't stand such stupidity in you, Mikasa. Normally I am the hot-headed one here, and it's always you who must make me come to my senses again, but lately, your behavior is being pathetically erratic, and nothing worthy of you. Are you really going to give up? Are you gonna lose the bet against that shithead who has it against you for no reason?"

Sasha looked really annoyed, and Mikasa saw it when the brown-haired girl crossed her arms against her chest without looking at her. Then she snorted, her hands on her head.

"I have too many things to think about, to worry about a childish brat like him and a foolish bet, okay?"

"Hey hey hey, it's not just a bet, okay? This is a matter of honor and dignity. If you lose, you know what you have to do, and it won't be nice. That asshole is willing to win, why wouldn't you?"

"Because I'm supposed to be emotionally more mature, and because I have no time to spare."

"So why did you accept when he challenged you?" Sasha still had a frown.

"Because I let myself go, but thinking about it again, I shouldn't. It was absolutely pointless."

"Agh. You really are impossible, Ackerman."

Silence settled for a moment in the room. Mikasa sighed, thinking deeply about her best friend's words.

"Well, and what do you think I should do?" Mikasa's voice sounded tired, as if she had given up. And that was fine for Sasha, who nodded, satisfied. She had always liked to be right instead of her best friend because it was normally Mikasa who was right, and not the other way around.

"Well, fight back. If they mess with you ... Well, I don't think you should behave the same as them, but I do think you should teach them a lesson. Leonhardt will do everything possible to annoy you too, but you must be prepared for that. You have Mrs. Jaeger and Faye on your side, and anything that these two shitheads do to set mama and the little girl against you will be useless. You know, take advantage of that debt that Mrs. Jaeger has with you for saving her daughter. After all, you had a reason for reminding that Eren that you're a Slytherin, hadn't you?"

Mikasa rarely let slip a sly smile, but this time it was enough for Sasha to mimic her, knowing what that meant.

"Ok. Although I hate to admit that you're right."

Sasha laughed. She was going to say something else, but the doorbell of their little apartment rang at the moment, breaking the conversation. The brunette jumped to her feet and cast her eye over the lookout in the doorway.

"It's Connie and Jean. Go, get ready and let's get out of here once and for all ..."

"Jean? What is he doing here?" Mikasa asked, her eyes wide open because of a not very pleasant surprise. Sasha rolled her eyes.

"I invited him so that you don't stay locked up all night in these four walls. Of course, Connie and I will go somewhere else, but you can have fun in the meantime." the girl said, winking at her friend. Mikasa frowned.

"And who told you that I ..."

But she couldn't finish her sentence. Sasha had opened the door on purpose, so that Mikasa couldn't disagree.

And what her eyes saw next was an effusive and very suggestive kiss between her best friend and her bald boyfriend.

Jean cleared his throat, obviously flushed about the scene.

Mikasa looked away.

"You guys don't have to be so obvious, you know ... You can wait to get to your destination to unleash all these hormones. There are people here who don't need to see such an affectionate scene."

"C'mon, Mika," Connie said, with a funny grin after breaking the kiss. "Your time will come, won't it, Jean?" He said, causing his girlfriend to laugh out loud. Mikasa shook her head, obviously annoyed by Connie's comment, as heat on Jean's face increased and made him want the ground to swallow him.

"Connie, shut up. I think Mikasa would kill you if she wasn't your friend. Let's go already." Sasha interjected, still laughing. She and Connie left, slamming the door behind them.

"Sasha! Oh, my God..."

Mikasa wanted to kill them. How dared Sasha to leave her and Jean alone in a closed room?

Dammit. That was not her idea of having fun.

"Do you want me to ... open the door?" Jean stuttered, with trembling hands because of nerves. Mikasa didn't look at him this time either.

"Er... Yeah, please."

And he did it. And hell if it wasn't hard because all he wanted to do was strip that beautiful dark-haired girl and make love to her until the end of times ...

But she wouldn't have allowed it. She didn't even let him kiss her, let alone try to undress her. Mikasa Ackerman was a girl who played hard to get, but he was willing to pass a thousand tests just to reach her. Jean had had more than one girlfriend, but only Mikasa was worthy of being introduced to his mother, and that was all he wanted.

For fuck's sake, the idea of being alone with her in that room was pretty tempting.

"Jean?"

Mikasa's voice brought him out of his thoughts ... And when he came to himself, he realized that his pants felt tight enough now.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Do you want to go outta here? It is very hot in here."

Yeah. Pretty hot indeed.

Mikasa nodded, completely unaware of the sinful things that crossed Jean's mind. She picked up the first jacket she saw and went out, locking the door. After all, she needed a reason for distraction, even if Jean Kirschtein was the most boring guy she had ever met in her life.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"I guess you're hungry, aren't you? Well, I know you don't like flashy places, so I decided it was better to come here ... You know. I don't want you to think I'm Mr. Scrooge who doesn't want to spend any money, because I would spend everything on you. It is just that..."

"Jean." Mikasa interrupted him, raising her hand. "It's okay. McDonald's is perfect, really. I don't need you to bother explaining anything."

He nodded, blushing again, as he watched her take a sip of her milkshake.

"I'm sorry ... But when I'm with you ..." the boy took a breath before continuing to speak, as if preparing for something. "Mikasa, it's not a secret that I like you very much, and I don't want to screw it up. Forgive me if ... Shit. This isn't easy, but I must be honest about what I feel ..." Jean stopped when he saw her sighing, convinced that he had screwed it up. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked, kinda fearful. She shook her head.

"You want me to be honest with you, right? Well, you're very nice, and I know that more than one woman out there would be honored of having you to look at her, but ... I don't want a relationship now, do you understand? I'm not ... I'm not the right person for you to date."

Mikasa wrinkled her face. Jean was downcast, a little disappointed, despite knowing beforehand the answer he would get.

"Well ... I'll be patient, if you allow me to do so."

She sighed again. How many times should she repeat it to make him understand?

However, she didn't say anything. A corner of her brain recalled Sasha's words, and she thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad to give him a chance.

But c'mon. How many times would she have to remind that to herself? Because it wasn't working. It was more of a way to convince herself to do so.

"It's okay." She said with resignation. And before she could keep on talking, a familiar voice behind her back caught her attention abruptly.

"Yea, we were supposed to meet there, but she never came. Dammit." the voice said, apparently speaking on the phone, judging by the pauses it was making. "No no. They wouldn't come. It would just be me and her, but lately, she only cares about her things, leaving me aside." the voice paused, and now it was heard at a fixed point behind her. "What about the guys? Well, you know Reiner has a broken arm thanks to Faye's babysitter, and Bertholdt wouldn't come if he doesn't."

Broken arm...

Faye's babysitter …

Jean's words were lost at some point in the conversation, because Mikasa's brain was now putting together a puzzle.

Damn him, Eren Jaeger. Yes. That was his voice, and he was talking about his friends, and Mikasa knew there couldn't be another person behind the amusement park incident than him.

She was going to make him pay. She didn't know how, or when or where, but he had to pay.

Her fists clenched as well as her jaw, listening to the guy's phone conversation behind her. Apparently, Eren hadn't noticed the girl's presence, or he would have taken care of not being heard.

"Mikasa, are you okay?" Jean asked, seeing how the girl's face had darkened. She shook her head.

"Yeah... I'm okay," she answered in a low voice. She couldn't let Eren see her. She still needed to hear a little more.

"It wasn't my fault, Armin. Can you already knock it off? She looked for it because she hit my nose. I didn't deserve it, now she must face the consequences of working at the place where I live." There was another pause. Eren's voice sounded harsh now.

"May I take your order, sir?" a strange voice said. The waitress should be next to him now.

"A chocolate milkshake and a couple of biscuits," Eren answered quickly, in order to keep his phone arguing. "Agh, don't lecture me. You know I won't rest until I make her go. I failed in my attempt to kidnap Faye, but I won't fail my next try. The babysitter will leave, and I'll do whatever it takes."

Mikasa had to do something. Anger was bubbling inside her veins like a volcano about to explode.

"Mikasa …" Jean said. He was also listening to the guy in the next table, but he didn't pay attention because he didn't know him.

Not yet.

Mikasa didn't answer. She had to leave if she didn't want to start a fight and break Eren Jaeger's face in that very place.

"Such a friend you are, Armin." another pause. "Yea, bye anyway. It wouldn't surprise me that you are also against me."

The call ended and all they could hear was silence settled over them.

Mikasa got up from her seat and ran out of there.

"Hey!" Jean shouted before going after her. But he had such bad luck that he completely spilled Eren's milkshake on him as he stumbled into his chair before leaving after Mikasa. "Sorry, buddy ... I didn't mean to..."

"Shit, what an asshole you are!" Eren yelled, full of anger. His shirt was now a mixture of blue cloth and the dark color of the shake spilled on it. But Jean, in his eagerness to persecute Mikasa, had already left before being able to listen to Eren's claim. "Awkward son of a bitch …" he said. And this was audible enough for Jean, who turned back soon to face his rival. Mikasa hadn't left yet.

"How did you call me?" he asked towards Eren, defiantly.

"Stupid motherfucker! Next time, be careful of where you're going and who you mess with, bastard."

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back. The next second, Jean had grabbed Eren by the shirt, and he was about to hit him.

"Who do you call bastard, huh? Not only should I spill the glass on you, but break a bottle in your head and close your mouth."

"Son of..."

"Jean! Stop! What's going on here?"

Eren and Jean looked at the female voice speaking at them. Mikasa approached with a worried face, but at the same time, she was still thinking about the phone conversation she had just heard.

"Are you with him? ..." Eren yelled at Mikasa, looking quite surprised and angry. "Dammit. I'm dogged by misfortune if you are nearby ..."

"Hey you, shithead, don't talk to her like that. She's a lady!" Jean yelled, angrily. They were about to hit each other, but Mikasa shoved them away before they could.

"I don't care what your girlfriend is, asshole. You better get outta my way, or I'll kill you both; to her for annoying me and you for ripping my clothes, you hear me?" Eren shouted. But this time it wasn't Jean who grabbed him by the shirt.

"Listen to me carefully, Jaeger: I'm not his girlfriend. And I'm the one who's gonna rip your damn clothes, do you hear me?" Mikasa warned him defiantly, pushing him to the ground. Jean understood absolutely nothing: neither the reason why the stranger accused Mikasa, nor why she called him by his name.

"Mikasa ..." he called. But she was too busy to look at him.

"Get outta here, Jean. We can talk later."

"But ... Mikasa ..."

"Get out!" she yelled enraged, making the boy shiver. And although Jean doubted it, he ended up leaving. Not because he wanted to leave Mikasa alone, but because he knew perfectly well that she wouldn't give a single glare to him the rest of the night, but to that guy who was trying to get up off the ground.

And it made him feel a bubbling and piercing jealousy.

"Do you think I can't face you, Ackerman?" Eren said, after getting up. Although he was feeling a little overwhelmed: it was the first time he saw Mikasa keep her eyes fixed on him with a murderous glare, while leaning a little, perhaps to attack him again.

"Try it, Jaeger. I don't believe that you last longer than the jerks you sent to the amusement park to mess with me that day."

Eren's eyes opened wide. How was that ...?

However, he wasn't going to let his sister's babysitter see his weakness now.

"Well, that was my mistake. I should have done it by myself," he replied, with a twisted smile. Mikasa lashed out against him until make him hit his back with the wall next to the entrance to the restaurant, where no one could see them. Eren felt an aching pain on his back and wrinkled his face, but she didn't care.

"Do you wanna start a battle, Jaeger? I will give you war then. I won't lose that bet, nor will I let you get away with it. Next time it won't be your friend's arm the one who breaks, but yours, if I ever find out that you're about to play as dirty as you did."

Despite the pain, Eren managed to take the girl off and leave her now against the wall, holding her wrists.

She didn't see that coming. Their faces were very close now, both looking defiant and threatening against each other. Mikasa tried to break free, but that day she learned that Eren Jaeger was strong too.

"I'll play as dirty as I need to win the bet. You'll have to go, Ackerman. I swear that."

And Eren couldn't help but notice the beauty of that face in front of his eyes; those almond-shaped and gray eyes, and these delicate and probably soft and sweet lips in her mouth, now frowned fiercely. The girl was beautiful, really, really beautiful.

And Mikasa couldn't help either but notice the beauty in those turquoise eyes that seemed to undress her with a single glance. And that disheveled but attractive brown hair ... And his small, short beard, and that twisted and obnoxious smile that he kept almost all day ... For the first time in a long time, she felt intimidated, shy in front of him. But she wasn't going to let her biggest enemy know that.

"You're a fucking asshole."

"And you are very stupid if you don't give up before losing this bet."

Okay. Eren was strong, but she was stronger. So she broke free of his grip and pushed him back to the ground.

"I swear I'm going to crush you," she warned him, with a harsh voice. The boy got back on his feet, walking with his back to what he thought was his car.

"We'll see that," he said out loud, with one of those mocking smiles that Mikasa was sure she wasn't able to hate more.

No more than five seconds passed when Eren crossed the road without looking around, and he was hit by a car that ran at full speed. He fell to the ground unconscious; the car driver stopped, and Mikasa ran towards him before anyone else could approach to him.

Okay, maybe she hated him more than she could admit, but it would have been heartless to leave him there in the middle of the street without helping him. He could have died or something like that with such a hard blow.

"Eren! Eren!" She called, notoriously worried. A trickle of blood ran from his left ear, and Mikasa panicked. He was still breathing, but the blood that came out of his ear was a serious injury.

"Is he okay? Oh my God, I didn't notice where this kid came from ..." the car's owner that ran over Eren, left her vehicle aside to answer for the damage. Mikasa held his head over her legs, before calling an ambulance.

And Eren opened his eyes slowly, and all he saw was confusion.

"An angel with black hair ... Am I in heaven?"

It was obvious that he was quite groggy, but Mikasa didn't see that statement coming. Eren looked at her now with a stupid face, as if he didn't know what had happened.

He had called her "angel," right after a deadly argument. And that just meant one thing.

The blow had been more serious than she thought.

And Mikasa wasn't able to admit that it had made her blush a little.


	9. A new friend

Mikasa only thought about one person to tell them about the accident, and that was Armin.

She didn't know him very well though, but he was a prudent and nice guy, aside from being Eren's best friend, and the only one who could help her without making a fuss about the whole situation. So, she called Faye to ask for his phone number, before getting into the ambulance that would carry Eren to Stohess Central Hospital, where his father worked.

"Are you his girlfriend?" the nurse asked when the ambulance started its way to the hospital. She shook her head quickly.

"No no. I'm ... His sister's babysitter." she replied. And although the stretcher-bearer made a face of not buying it, Mikasa ignored him to dial Sasha's number and let her know she would be home late because of the accident. "Will he get well soon?" she asked, turning off her phone. The nurse tilted his head.

"The contusion seems to be serious. But I bet he'll be fine in a couple of days."

She sighed, and her eyes met that calm face of the boy on the stretcher. Unconsciously, Mikasa noticed again how handsome he was, while thinking that the short, small beard that he let himself to grow didn't fit him at all; so for a moment her mind wandered in the image of shaving him by herself

When she came to herself, the heat had filled her face; but she managed well to conceal it. To tell the truth, she didn't understand why she had such thoughts about him.

"What's his name?" A nurse asked when Eren was admitted to the emergency room. Her voice snapped Mikasa out of her trance while watching the stretcher get lost in some corridor inside the hospital.

"Eren... Jaeger. Yes. Eren Jaeger."

The nurse wrote something in a digital notepad before asking again.

"Is he related to the chief surgeon?"

"Excuse me, who?" Mikasa said, looking away from the corridor where Eren disappeared while lying on the stretcher.

"To Dr. Jaeger, Grisha Jaeger."

"Oh ... He's his son," she replied, almost absent-minded.

"All right. I'll go find the doctor. Marlowe!" the woman in white yelled at the other side of the room. "Do you know if Dr. Jaeger is on duty tonight?"

"He's with some patients on the fourth floor." The med student replied as he walked away, with a stethoscope in his hand. The nurse looked back at the raven-haired girl.

"Wait here," she said, pointing to a chair in the waiting room. "I'll be back when there's news."

Mikasa nodded and took a seat. A couple of minutes later, she saw a boy with blonde hair tied in a ponytail entering the waiting room.

And behind him, Carla and Faye Jaeger.

"Mikasa! Mikasa, where is my son?" the mother asked with concern and her heart in her throat. She turned pallid, but she didn't Faye let out of her hand. But the girl leaned on her nanny as soon as she saw her.

"He's being examined, Mrs. Jaeger. They went looking for your husband, and I guess he's gonna check him." Mikasa replied while hugging Faye.

"Carla, he'll be fine. It was just a blow, I'm sure." Armin said, putting his hand on Carla's shoulder. The woman shook her head.

"You said he was knocked down by a car, Armin. I couldn't calm down even if I wanted to."

"Mrs. Jaeger ..." Mikasa interjected in a low voice tone. "Excuse me, because I know it's none of my business, but ... The best thing you can do now is waiting; I assure you that it is nothing too serious that it can't be fixed. I was there when he was knocked down, and your son will be fine. I promise."

Carla looked at Mikasa, eyes watered; then she took a seat, with her hands on her head. Somehow, the girl had managed to calm her down a bit. Armin sat next to her.

"Mikasa is right. Surely uncle Grisha will come soon to tell us everything is fine ..."

"Armin, how is Eren?" A blonde girl made an appearance at the scene. Carla and Faye didn't welcome her.

Carla had always disliked Annie Leonhardt's relationship with her son. There was something about that girl that Mrs. Jaeger wasn't buying at all.

Faye didn't like anyone who stole her older brother's attention from her, except for Armin. Among Eren's friends, the blond boy was the only one she knew since she was born.

"He's under observation, Annie. I guess they'll let us know his condition in a while." Armin stood up again, knowing that Annie wasn't willing to approach there.

"Good night, Mrs. Jaeger." the girl blonde girl said, barely looking at her. Carla didn't spend a single gaze on her.

"Goodnight."

"Excuse me, children are not allowed to be in the waiting room unless she is a patient. Otherwise, she must leave." A nurse said when she saw Faye, who hid behind her nanny's legs as if her actions made her invisible. Mikasa, who didn't bother to look at Leonhardt either, held the child's hand.

"Mikasa, carry Faye home, ok?" Carla reached into her wallet as she spoke. "Here. Take the keys and stay with her at home. Don't worry, I'll pay you double for tonight, but I must stay as long as my son is in here. Armin, could you drive them home, please?" The woman asked the blond boy, who was already talking to Annie.

"Yes of course. Give me a minute and I'll do it." the blond boy replied, while Mikasa kept the key in her pocket, a little bewildered. She wasn't expecting that, having to return to the Jaeger's house to take care of Faye all night.

Well, at least she wouldn't have to attend school the next morning.

Carla frowned and wrinkled her face slightly. Seeing Annie was like eating a raw onion, and seeing Armin talking to her was much more uneasy.

"Mommy, are you gonna stay?" Faye asked, without letting go of Mikasa's hand. Carla nodded and kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"Go with your nanny. I'll stay with your brother, okay? I'll be home in the morning."

"C'mon, Faye," Mikasa said, pulling Faye's arm gently. "Let's wait for Armin outside."

The noise caused by the TV in the waiting room filled the whole place, stunning Carla. Mikasa looked at the clock hanging on the wall near reception: it was passed 9 pm. She and Faye put their jackets before leaving, and they both sat on a bench, waiting for Armin to pick them up.

Meanwhile, Armin looked at Annie, a little disappointed.

"Think about it, Annie. Eren doesn't deserve that."

The girl's huge blue eyes seemed to darken a little as if all the brightness of her face was taken away.

"Armin, I beg you to..."

"Yeah. To keep it secret. But how much longer will take you to tell him? Another month? Or maybe you think about staying silent until he realizes what you're doing and this becomes more painful to him? Keep this in mind, Annie: if I keep quiet, it's because of him. Not for you. So don't ask me to betray my best friend; and I hope that you decide to end this nonsense soon, for your own sake. Or I'll be the one who ends it."

"Armin ..." Annie said, her brows arched in a pleading gesture. He raised his hand.

"Annie, don't ask me to choose you before him. I give you a deadline to tell Eren everything. Now I'm leaving, and I hope you can reflect on your actions."

Frowning, Armin got away from her. Annie had never seen him so upset before, and that's why she knew she had screwed it all up. Yes, that was one of those rare times when Annie Leonhardt was truly sorry ...

But she really didn't know how she got into that, much less how she'd come out of it.

"Ready?" the blond boy asked, already inside the car, passing in front of the bench where Mikasa and Faye were waiting for him. The little girl smiled broadly, although her eyelids were already heavy. "Good, come on."

Faye went to the back seat and her nanny to the passenger seat. The car started its ride as soon as the doors were closed.

"Faye, buckle up, ok?" Mikasa said, looking back. The child did as she was told. Two minutes later, her eyes were already shut.

Silence settled over them was uncomfortable as hell and both of them knew it. But Mikasa wasn't good at starting conversations, and Armin didn't want to be impolite, though.

"Hey ..." the boy spoke as he drove, looking through the rearview mirror. "Your girl has fallen asleep."

Mikasa looked back again. Then she nodded.

"I figured. While we were waiting for you, she said he wanted to sleep."

"Oh yeah? Well, at least she'll be quiet when you guys get home." Mikasa made a knowing sound, and silence settled over them again. Armin turned right while driving and smiling. "Er ... Faye told me you play the violin."

"Oh ... Well, yes. I'm a music student at Trost University. Violin was always …" Mikasa cleared her throat. "It was always my favorite instrument."

Armin let out a whistle of astonishment as he arched his eyebrows.

"Wow. Interesting profession. I study architecture, and I offer myself in case you ever need to build a conservatory. "The boy said, kidding. Mikasa smiled, a little shy.

"Sure."

Silence again. This time it was Armin who cleared his throat. The road before him led to a crowded avenue, where they would probably have to get stuck for a few minutes.

"Mikasa ... I ... I wanted to apologize. I know we haven't talked that much or almost nothing, but ..."

She opened her eyes wide, in a mix of confusion and surprise, blinking several times in a row.

"Eh? Apologize? Why is it?"

"In Eren's name. I know he hasn't been the nicest, and I don't agree with his behavior. But he isn't doing it on purpose."

Mikasa leaned her head, arching an eyebrow. Then she sighed.

"You are his best friend and it's just normal for you to cover his back. But he's an adult, he can apologize by himself. If he doesn't, it's because he doesn't want it that way. You don't have to do it instead of him.

Armin nodded. The traffic light turned red and he drummed on the steering wheel with his fingers.

"I guess you're right. But Eren is not that shithead everyone thinks he is."

Mikasa snorted, with a very subtle sarcastic smile drawn on her lips.

"Sadly, I can't say the same. But I guess it's a matter of privileges; Someone's friends are always able to see the worst and the best in a person." The girl fell silent for a moment, then she took a breath to say something else. She was frowning as she started to move her fingers nervously. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

The car turned left, entering the traffic jam on the avenue. There was a row of cars in front of them.

"How is it that ... someone like you is friends with someone like him? Sorry, you guys are very different."

"Ah, You're not the first one to ask me that," Armin answered with a nervous giggle, squinting. "As I was saying, Eren is not ... what you think. I've known him since childhood, you know. He saved me from some bullies at school, and we're best friends since then."

"Wow. You seem to be the only person capable of dealing with him. To be honest, the one you're talking about is not the same I've had the misfortune to know."

Armin laughed again. Mikasa watched him, thinking that it was impossible that someone as nice as this blond boy could be Eren Jaeger's best friend.

"If you could see the things he's been through ... You'd probably understand he has his own reasons. I'm not justifying him, but he's not a bad guy."

Mikasa shrugged as the traffic jam began to fade and the car moved on.

"I've been through a lot of things as well ... A lot, though. But it doesn't mean that I have to vent my anger on others. If it depends on the things I've been through, I would have destroyed half of the human race, Armin. However ... it isn't fair making others to pay for it."

Armin nodded again. In fact, he felt a little overwhelmed by how calm was Mikasa talking. He hadn't had such a nice chat with someone as calm and focused as her for a long time. Yes, Armin openly admitted that Eren was exactly her opposite.

Then he drove to the end of the road, to take the next highway to Stohess.

"I guess you're right, again. But ... one day you'll see things aren't as you think, Mikasa."

"I somehow doubt it. He hates me and I hate him."

"LOL!" Armin exclaimed unintentionally, bursting into an almost uncontrollable laughter. Mikasa couldn't help but look at him suspiciously, arching an eyebrow. "Sorry Sorry. It's that ... No, forget about it."

"Er ... It's okay … I guess."

"Please, accept that you hit him hard that day at the clothing store. It was amazing, yes, but hell. At least I would be pissed-off too."

"He deserved it," Mikasa said haughtily, tilting her head. Armin laughed again, and she had to stifle a giggle.

"Yeah, maybe, but not that hard," he replied, drying his tears of laughter. The road was clear now, so Armin increased the speed.

"I suppose it was the only way to shut him up and prevent my friend from losing her job."

"Well, Eren can be annoying and loudmouthed, that's the truth. But I assure you it wasn't his intention to do it actually."

Mikasa snorted at Armin's comment, opening her eyes in an ironic gesture.

"Wow. I don't wanna think what would have happened if it had been the other way around. Armin, your friend may not be an asshole with you, but he is with the rest of the world. Don't try to justify him."

Armin covered his mouth, holding back a laugh.

"I'm just saying that time will prove me right." the blonde warned. Mikasa was going to say something else, but he raised his finger. "No. Let's not make bets; Eren does them all the time, and I'm sick of it."

"Er ... I wasn't going to say anything about bets," she replied, twisting her mouth.

"Oh... Ok. Bad habits, I guess. I'm sorry. Oh, look, we're almost there." he announced, as he turned around the corner. As they approached the Jaeger's huge house, Mikasa recalled that afternoon when her motorcycle crossed paths with Eren's BMW.

She remembered those turquoise eyes and that intense, penetrating gaze; that fire in his eyes that could burn the whole world down.

Then she had to shake her head to get rid of that thought.

Armin parked the car in front of the gate, waiting for the guard to open so he could leave the girls inside the house grounds.

"Do you want me to help you with Faye?" The blonde asked when Mikasa got out of the car. She shook her head as she pulled the child out of the backseat.

"No. It's okay. Thank you very much for bringing us here, Armin."

"Yeah. You're welcome." Armin replied, stretching his lips. Faye, still asleep, surrounded her nanny's torso with arms and legs, resting her head on Mikasa's shoulder.

"See you later, Armin. I hope ... your friend to recover soon." Mikasa said, entering the house with the child in her arms.

"Yeah. Thanks. And ... I liked talking to you, Mikasa." he answered, before entering his car again. She gave him that usual humble smile, closing the door as the car moved away from the entrance.

Yes. Armin was a good guy, and she wouldn't stop asking herself the same question: how the hell Armin Arlert had been friends with Eren Jaeger for so long.

 

* * *

 

Carla really hated her stepson's visits. Perhaps what bothered her the most (even if she didn't admit it) was that Zeke Jaeger was the spitting image of Grisha, except for his almost white blond hair, which made him look a little older than he really was. At his 28, Zeke had matured so much he was about to get married; he had bought his own house, and was the owner of a bar in Trost whose main attraction among customers was the drink he called "Beast Titan"; a mixture of sangria and gin and tonic based on three citrus fruits, very much liked among students who went there on weekends. He was no longer the same wayward and mischievous kid of years ago who used to get into trouble, bringing shame to his father every week with an arrest warrant; nevertheless, he owed everything to those times, because thanks to them he had met Pieck, his fiancée, and the one who had made him settle down.

But what bothered Carla the most was that Eren didn't want to imitate new Zeke's behavior, but the old one, and she blamed Grisha for letting her son spend so much time of his childhood with his former wife's son. Oh, how many arguments had been heard inside Jaeger's house walls, each time the doctor's eldest son left. But this time, Carla couldn't object: Zeke had every right to visit his younger brother during his disability, and she knew how much Eren wished to see his family together, even if he didn't say it, or even if he did as he didn't really care.

She knew him well. And this time she would be silent, for his son's sake.

And for the first time in a while, she didn't wrinkle her face when she saw her stepson, nor when Zeke lifted Faye up in his arms, nor when he talked for hours with Eren after his return from the hospital, with his torso and forehead wrapped in bandages. Grisha was surprised; He loved his wife, but she could be very noisy sometimes.

"Ah, and you are?" Zeke asked the raven-haired girl he saw at his father's house, before leaving. Mikasa kept her violin in its box after playing with Faye. Then she shook hands with the silver-bearded man with glasses who looked like Dr. Jaeger.

"She's my nanny!" Faye shouted enthusiastic, proud to be able to answer before anyone else. Zeke smiled at her, squeezing the girl's hand.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a nanny, midget. I'm Zeke Jaeger, this princess' older brother. And you are...?

"Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman."

Zeke seemed to pale a little. However, he managed to prevent the girl from noticing it.

He released her hand and nodded.

"Nice to meet you."

"Same," Mikasa replied with serenity. Truth be told, she actually did notice Zeke's paleness, but that was none of her business.

Meanwhile, Zeke was wondering if that girl had something to do with that creepy short policeman with the creepy glare who made him shit bricks years ago. Because there was a huge resemblance, and, at least that time, it seems to him as if the girl hasn't feelings at all, just like that policeman.

No. He never wanted to meet him again in his life.

Last name Ackerman had been a nightmare for Zeke Jaeger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I introduce Arumika here as my brotp (yes, I love them.) Mikasa and Armin's friendship is beautiful af and I should start it soon at some point. Welcome to the family, Zeke, and for those who like the Zeke-Pieck, a little of them too. I couldn't miss the fear of the beast titan (by the way, I don't know where the idea of this drink came from, so nevermind) to the Ackerman clan, Lmao. Some family dramas started to be revealed, and I hope you like it because it's now when the real shit starts. Do you wanna know what Annie's secret is? Keep reading :v. Leave your reviews, if you like it, and also if you don't xD. See you next chapter!


	10. Family issues

"Eren, what the hell are you thinking about? You look rather silly, dude." Armin said. Eren had been absorbed, looking through his window toward the back garden. "I've never seen you as absent-minded as today."

Eren sighed without looking at his friend. He not only looked distracted but also confused, and Armin could see it from the way his eyebrows arched as he looked through the window.

"You have nothing to worry about, Armin. I'm ok." Eren replied, still not looking at him. Armin put his book aside and took off the glasses he wore to read.

"Pfft. Do you think I'm buying that bullshit? You're surely thinking about something and you don't want to tell me. That's all. Come on, it's been two days since you came back from the hospital and I've never seen you so quiet before."

Eren snorted, turning his head towards his friend.

"Armin, when I talk too much you want me to shut up. And if I keep quiet, you want me to talk. What's wrong? You need to sort out your priorities, bro."

Armin snorted, mocking him.

"I have nothing to sort out, you idiot. Spit it out. Your dad said you have memory lapses because of the blow; is that true?"

Eren nodded. Then he took a sip of water from the glass in his hand.

"Yes. There are things that I don't remember though. By the way, how did I get to the hospital?"

Armin cleared his throat and straightened his back to speak better. It was the moment he had been waiting for, and Eren gave him the perfect excuse.

"You really don't remember anything at all?"

"No. I have a rough idea, but ..." Maybe he had been raving, but he had a slight impression he had said "angel" to a certain someone... No. That was fucking impossible. Simply impossible. Eren shook his head quickly. "No, it's nothing."

"Just tell me. What do you remember?" That subtle smile on Armin's mouth was quite mischievous. But his friend didn't notice it.

"Well ... I was arguing with Faye's babysitter. But, you know it now."

"Yeah, dumbass. And it was she who took you to the hospital."

"What?" Eren opened his eyes wide, while Armin made a great effort not to tease him again.

"Yes. She was with you all that time, despite how shithead you've been with her. She called the ambulance, she went with you in there and she waited at the hospital until Aunt Carla and I arrived."

Armin looked pleased to have spit all that information out. Eren was ... Well, he was puzzled, somewhat confused, somewhat annoyed. Then he frowned.

"Bullshit. She told you all that because she feels guilty about what happened and now she wants to be like a heroine in front of everyone."

"Eren!" Armin shouted at him, angrily. "Don't be such a moron. I saw her, she didn't have to tell me anything at all. Where do you get so many stupid things from?"

Eren snorted with dignity.

"Geez, she's a Slytherin. You can't trust them, Armin."

"Who the hell told you that?"

"She herself."

"And how did she? You are supposed to hate each other. I can't imagine both of you guys sitting together talking about Harry Potter with a fucking rainbow in the middle of the convo. That's absolutely nonsense, so I don't believe you."

"Well, she punched me the very day she told me that (as is usual for her to do so)." Eren faked a cough in the middle of his talk. "And it's incredible that you believe her and not me that I'm your best friend. I'm fucked. Really fucked."

This time, Armin cackled while watching how pissed his friend was.

"Look, you can say whatever you want, but that's what she did. And as if that weren't enough, she also stayed at the hospital until your mother and I arrived, okay? I think ... No. I don't think so; I am absolutely sure that you owe her an apology."

Eren narrowed his eyes at Armin suspiciously.

"You must be kidding. You are fucking kidding, right? You're not being serious, are you? ..." the boy on the bed saw his friend nodding in response. If he had opened his mouth a little more, his jaw would have loosened, due to his best friend's statement. "Geez, Armin. You are fucking insane. This girl hits me once and twice without reason, and I'm the one who owes her an apology? No no; You're out of your mind if you think I'll do that. It would be the same as ... I dunno, telling her that she already won the bet and she can use me as a punching bag ... Yes, what a smart idea. That's pretty wise of you, or pretty sadistic, which wouldn't surprise me at all coming from you."

Armin let out one of his shit-eating grins at Eren's expression of anger.

"Admit it. Face the fact you deserved that first one. And I wasn't there when she punched you the next time, but probably you deserved it too."

Much to his indignation, Eren snorted as loudly as possible.

"Such a nice friend you are, Armin. But thanks, thanks for everything; for supporting a girl we barely know and leaving me aside. Yeah, very fair of you, buddy."

"Well, she's been working here for almost three months, and you did nothing to get your mother to fire her. So I guess I'm not the only one on her side now." Armin let out a mischievous grin that Eren didn't know how to take, actually.

"What the fuck do you mean? Fuck, Armin. Carla loves the girl, ok? After she saved Faye, Mom does nothing else but praise her. Mikasa this, Mikasa that. Mikasa, Mikasa, Mikasa. I'm sick of listening 'Little Miss Flawless' name every damn time."

"It's okay, Eren," Armin said, now with a serious face. "But the fault is entirely yours. Now you see what I meant when I told you that your plans are god awful and they always end badly? I warned you, but you didn't listen. You chose to listen to our featherbrained friend Reiner's advice instead, as always, and now see what it was all about. Here are the consequences of your hotheadedness." Eren was about to react aggressively, but his blond friend raised his index finger in warning. "Don't dare to say a single word if you know I'm right, okay? Or I leave and I'll leave you here to not listen to your blunder anymore."

Silence settled over them. Eren knew his friend was right, so he couldn't say anything if there was nothing to say.

Armin put his glasses back on and grabbed the book he had left aside.

Eren finished his glass of water and looked out the window again.

"I haven't seen Annie in a while … Reiner and Bert either." He said, later. Armin seemed to ignore him, but actually, he was listening.

"Me either." He said harshly, not looking up. He didn't want to touch on Annie's matter.

"They didn't even call me after the first night I spent in the hospital ..."

"Uh-huh."

"Hey, are you listening to me, you bastard?"

"Yes. I'm listening to you, you moron. And I suggest you to watch your tone with me and listen to your mother. They always know better who suits us for friends; she doesn't like Reiner and Bertholdt for a reason."

"But, Armin ... Why the fuck do you say that now?"

"Godammit, you're dense and oblivious as fuck, Eren. Aren't you? Better go to sleep before I lose my shit. It's the wisest thing you can do now."

There was nothing more to say. Armin wouldn't say another word, and Eren had no choice but to do as he was told.

His mind was insistently recalling the memory of a smooth and angelic face, a skin pale as snow, and two gray eyes with a calm and penetrating gaze ...

But no, it couldn't be her. That was impossible.

There were many things in his head at the time, but he didn't want to think about them.

 

* * *

 

 

Sasha grabbed Mikasa's phone. The name "Midgety midget" was on the screen, while the black-haired girl cleaned the bathroom with headphones on. It was Sunday morning, and summer was coming.

"Hey, you!" Sasha cried, kicking her friend's ass after screaming her name a couple of times. Mikasa turned to her, frowning because she had been about to fall on the toilet.

"Why did you kick me that hard? I knew you were out of your mind, but not how much."

"Your brother's calling and you don't listen because you want to burst your ears with that thing. Here."

Mikasa took off her gloves and headphones, picking up the phone to answer, dodging Sasha to get out of the bathroom.

"Hi there, midget."

_"Hi there, brat. Is everything ok?"_

"Meh, boring as fuck, as usual. And you? How's Hanji doing?" she asked. Mikasa could hear a racket on the other side. Yes, it was typical of Hanji to make a fuss when she was excited about something, and she could not help but laugh quietly. "What's the matter?"

 _"Tch. Don't ask. She has been insisting since morning to tell you, but I don't want to make a fuss about this."_ Levi replied, with his usual voice tone, between bored and bossy. Hanji kept shouting something that Mikasa couldn't quite understand.

"C'mon, Levi, tell me what's wrong with Hanji."

" _I am ..._ " Hanji's voice sounded clearer now. Surely she was stuck on Levi's phone, and it was also certain that Levi had pushed her. _"She's pregnant."_ He finally said. Judging by his voice tone, Mikasa knew that her brother was even happier than Hanji.

 _"_ Ah! Levi!" the girl exclaimed, covering her mouth and eyes opened in surprise. "Is that true? Oh my God ... I'm gonna be an auntie ... Ah, shorty, that's beautiful!"

At the same time, Sasha pulled out the lollipop in her mouth to approach her friend with raised eyebrows and ears ready to listen better.

"Is Hanji pregnant?" Sasha mouthed. Mikasa nodded before keep talking.

" _Hey, brat, don't call me that way. And less now that I'm going to be a father."_

"Eh, you SHOULD be making a fuss, though. A little Ackerman is on his way and surely he won't be as grumpy as you, Levi."

" _Tch. Since when are you such a joker, Mikasa? Did Sasha's bad habits hit you? By the way, say hello to her from Hanji."_

"And from you too, wise ass." With a subtle smile, Mikasa covered the bottom of the phone, looking at her friend. "They send you greetings." She said before being back to the call. "I'll do anything to go home in the summer, Levi. It doesn't matter how, but I must go."

" _Don't you have to run the summer camp at your school in exchange for the scholarship? You can't neglect it, Mikasa."_

"Agh. Knock it off. I'll manage, ok? But I wanna go to see you guys and buy baby stuff with Hanji. Besides ... I miss Shiganshina's peace. I wanna go home, even if it's just for a few days."

Levi cleared his throat on the other side before speaking again.

 _"Hey kid, there's something you must know ..."_ he was silent for a moment. Mikasa pulled the phone away from her ear to see if Levi hung up, but no.

"Levi? What's wrong?"

_"Kenny ..."_

Mikasa paled. She hated hearing that name; however, she hoped it was good news for her, like her paternal uncle had died at last, or something like that.

"What's the matter with him?"

 _"Kenny just got out of jail yesterday."_ another pause. _"He called. He has nowhere to go ... I told him he can stay with Hanji and me for a while."_

There was silence again.

Mikasa was trying to deal with all that news. It felt as if a huge ice bucket had fallen on her.

 _"Mikasa?"_ Levi said. She stammered a little before speaking again.

"How ... Wasn't he supposed to be there for life? How is it-" her voice trembled now, probably because of her outrage. Sasha, who knew her pretty well, didn't have to listen to a word to know what it was about. So she stopped her chores to sit next to her.

 _"I don't know_ _how, Mikasa. But he's out. He's an old man and he needs a place to go to right now."_

"No." this time, the girl's voice didn't tremble at all. It sounded rather deep and threatening. Sasha put a hand on her leg trying to calm her down.

 _"No what?"_ Levi said.

"I don't want him at home. No way."

_"Mikasa, he's an old man already. Do you think I could leave him out there in the streets?"_

"Yes! I do can, because he did the same with us! If you take him home, don't wait for me, Levi. I won't live with that old man in the same place, you hear me?"

 _"Yes, I can hear you. But listen to yourself now; you are not talking about a nobody, Mikasa; Kenny is family._ " Despite his anger, Levi tried to remain calm.

"Well, he didn't think the same when he stole what we had after dad and mom died, remember? I can't believe you're so stupid ..."

_"Mikasa, watch your tone with me, you hear me?"_

"And you better be careful not to make the same mistake twice!" she yelled, ending the call. Blood boiled in her veins. The phone had been thrown on the bed, and her fists were now tightly clenched while she tried to regain her sanity.

The next second, her eyes watered, not of sadness, but rather of helplessness and a growing rage she should keep back.

"Mikasa..."

"Don't dare to come after me, Sasha. I need to be alone." the girl replied, drying her tears roughly as she stood up. Then she took her motorcycle keys and left as fast as she could. Levi was wrong; Kenny had never regretted anything, and he never would. And she was sure nothing would end well if her father's brother came back into their lives.

Again.

* * *

 

 

A thud was heard on the second floor. Carla and Grisha were upstairs.

"He won't put me to shame, Carla," Grisha said, sternly.

"He is your son, Grisha! Don't you understand that you are making him unhappy?"

"And do you think that because he had an accident a few weeks ago I'm willing to give in? No. He better becomes a doctor, or he won't see penny-one from me. He wants to be a good-for-nothing. An artist, he says. A chef!" Grisha snorted, bitterly. "My grandfather was a doctor, also my father, and I am now. Eren won't be the exception."

"Oh, won't he? What about your older son? Why can he do with his life what he likes and not Eren?"

It wasn't the first time Eren heard his name in his parents' arguments. So he sighed and left his bedroom, on his way to the garden.

He was sick of it.

"Leave Zeke out of this. He is an adult. He can do with his life whatever he likes."

"And Eren's not a child anymore, but you insist on treating him as such. What's up with him for you to behave that way? Why did you never force Zeke to do what you force MY son to do so?"

"Carla! I won't make the same mistakes with Eren! Is that hard for you to understand it? You talk as if I love Zeke more than Eren, and nothing can be more wrong than that!"

"Don't push him then to do something he doesn't want to. Don't dare to stop supporting him because he doesn't deserve it. Listen to yourself: you put conditions on your own son for him to do your will. What kind of parent are you?"

"One that, although you don't want to understand it, wishes the best for his children. What has Eren done with his life so far? Tell me! Being friends with a couple of bums that only make him get in trouble? I should have sent him to military school as my father suggested ..."

"Grisha, for God's sake! It wasn't the military school or your father who should have raised Eren, but you! Do you know how many times your son wanted to talk to you? How many times did he want to approach you and you didn't allow him to do so, and now you intend to make him fulfill your selfish desires to see him become a doctor, just for fulfilling an absurd family tradition? He even thinks you're hard on him because you think it's his fault what happened to your father, and no matter how much I try to convince him that he's wrong, he can't believe otherwise because of the way you treat him after the accident."

For a moment, silence settled over the whole room. Grisha spoke next.

"It's already decided. Period. Unless he enrolls in medical school, he won't see a penny-one from me." the doctor said, harshly, leaving the room. Carla burst into tears, for she was about to believe that her son's fears had always been true.

When Mikasa tried to say goodbye to Faye, she was hiding in the cupboard under the stairs. She hid there every time her parents argued, and no one could get her out until the argues stopped, even though they always fought in a room on the second floor, believing their children couldn't hear them.

And Mikasa didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to Faye.

But she didn't want to stay and listen to a fight that was none of her business.

When she went out to the garden, Eren was on the porch, smoking a cigarette with a sullen look on his face, a hand in his pocket and eyes watered. Perhaps because of the breeze that hit his face, or the pain he felt inside and that no one would ever know; he wasn't sure.

Silently, Mikasa sat on the rocking chair on the porch, waiting for Faye to go out; or the child would be really sad if her nanny left without saying goodbye.

When Eren turned his head and saw her, he let out a puff of smoke before speaking.

"Funny, isn't it?" the boy said, bitterly. Mikasa raised her head to him. "Well, I guess it must be fun for you to hear all these things they said about me."

Mikasa shook her head, frowning in utter confusion.

"Excuse me ... What are you talking about?"

Eren stretched his lip in a sneer. He extinguished the cigar, sitting at the other end of the rocking chair.

"Isn't it obvious? It must be an absolute pleasure for you to realize how shitty dysfunctional my family is. So you can make fun of me as you've done all this time, comparing your beautiful family and your perfect parents with mine, right? With my stupid father, who blames me for making my grandfather stop walking."

Mikasa could not help but gasp in outrage.

"What the... Where do you get that from? Did that car hit you that hard?" she exclaimed in frustration. Eren looked at her with that bitter and harsh smile.

"So, what are you doing here if you're not making fun of my misfortune, thanks to my cautious parents?"

"I wait for your sister, you bastard! Not all is about you ..."

"Who says so? The flawless girl with flawless life and perfect parents?"

Despite how calm Eren seemed to be, all he wanted was to make Mikasa lose her temper. And he achieved it. The next second, the girl stood up to him, grabbing his shirt collar.

"Perfect life and perfect parents? You asshole, I have no parents, and a few days ago my brother called me to tell me that my uncle, the man who left us nothing when my parents died, is out of jail asking my brother to receive him home, after he took absolutely everything we had so he could spend it all on gambling, alcohol, and women. Do you think this is a fucking perfect life? Do you think it's perfect to have watched your parents die before your eyes when you were twelve years old?" Mikasa's voice started to break at this point. "You have a very distorted view of reality, Jaeger. If you were looking for excuses to annoy me and get the shit out of me, you did an excellent job. Congratulations. You succeeded very well." Mikasa released his shirt, willing to leave. "You won the damn bet; because I give up. I won't deal with your shit a day longer."

When she finished speaking, tears had flooded her eyes with a knot made in her throat.

Mikasa walked to the large gate of the Jaeger residence, looking for the keys in her pockets as she dried her tears.

Eren saw her walk away, his mouth open and a guilty knot in the pit of his stomach. He froze up, and he was even shaking because of the shock.

The noise of the keys that Mikasa's trembling hands dropped brought him back to himself.

She picked up the keys and walked as fast as she could to her motorcycle. The next day she would give Mrs. Jaeger her resignation letter.

"Hey!" Eren shouted as she turned on her motorcycle. Mikasa ignored him. "Hey!"

 _Yes, Eren. You fucking screwed it all up_. A voice said in his head.

_Armin was right, you owe the girl an apology, and now more than ever._

_She's crying, you dumbass! Will you let her go?_

"Mikasa..."

"Let go of me, Jaeger. You already got what you wanted. Or is it that you want to put me more to shame?" Mikasa tried to look away so she could hide from Eren the tears that came out of her eyes. However, her voice betrayed her.

"No, no ... Hey ... I didn't want to... I didn't know that ..."

"No. You don't know anything, absolutely nothing. And if you want an advice, never open your mouth again to talk about something you don't know. Now let go of me or I'll hit you ..."

"Mikasa …" Eren could do nothing when she slipped out of his hand.

_You are an asshole._

"You are a fucking asshole, Jaeger," Mikasa said, her voice a little hoarse. Her motorcycle roared, and Eren realized his time was over.

_Say it. Tell her you're sorry._

But no, the right words didn't come out of his mouth.

"Mikasa!" a high-pitched voice said from the porch. Faye had come out of hiding to look desperately for her nanny.

Mikasa had no choice but to stop her urge to leave.

Faye ran towards her, while Eren watched the scene without being able to move.

"Why are you leaving without saying goodbye? ... And why are you crying? Did Mommy or daddy tell you something ugly?

"Oh no. Of course not. I got something in my eye, that's all. Go inside, ok? And put on shoes, or you'll catch a cold."

Faye nodded quickly.

"We'll watch the Goblet of Fire tomorrow, Mikasa. Don't dare to forget it."

For a moment, Eren wished deep inside that Mikasa would say yes to Faye, that she'd return the next day, and she would forget everything that happened.

But when the girl hugged his sister and kissed her forehead, he knew she had meant it: Mikasa had no intention of coming back.

She was saying goodbye.

_Everything is your fault._

_If you're not happy, at least let your sister be happy._

Was this how the voice of conscience worked? Why had it been silent then for so long?

"Goodbye, Faye." the nanny said, putting on her helmet. Faye waved her hand.

"See you tomorrow, Mikasa." the girl replied, with an enviable innocence and a smile on her lips, still waving her hand.

The motorcycle moved away. The guilt hit Eren again in the pit of his stomach like a steel fist.

"You must make it up to her, Eren. Or you will lose her," said Hannes, the Jaeger's gardener. He had been hanging around, listening to the youths' discussion from beginning to end. He knew Eren from a very young age, so he was one of the few people capable of telling the boy painful truths without fear of getting an aggressive answer.

The Jaeger's gardener had always been pretty observant.

"What? Lose her? Why do you say that to me, Hannes-san?"

"Ah, Eren. You've always been a dense boy, haven't you? But I'm sure you'll understand in a while. I'm leaving. Tell your mother I'll prune the cherry tree in the backyard tomorrow, okay?" Hannes said, with a mischievous grin that Eren didn't understand at all. The gardener took off his gloves and walked towards the exit, whistling a song that Eren knew since his childhood.

Faye looked at her brother for a moment, walking back to the entrance.

"Faye." The boy called her. The little girl turned towards him, already in the porch.

"You're talking to me?"

"Yeah. Is there any other Faye around here?" Eren asked. His little sister shrugged.

"You never talk to me. That is why I am asking."

Eren nodded. He walked a few more steps and reached for her.

"Do you wanna watch Harry Potter with me?"

Faye's eyes lit up noticeably. For the first time and because of his sister, Eren felt his eyes stinging, and this sting went down to his throat and came back to his stomach, there where the guilty knot was.

If he couldn't apologize to Mikasa, at least he would do so with Faye.

"Yay!" the girl shouted, squeezing her older brother's hand, happy as a lark as if there was nothing better in the world.


	11. Apologies

"Mikasa, if you must cry ... Then do it. It's not good holding back the tears, you know. I already told you: you can still ask Petra for a job and she will give it to you with no delay."

Sasha dropped her hand on her best friend's back, patting her. Mikasa didn't cry, she didn't talk either. She was staring at nothing, her face stoic, with a coldness in her eyes that reminded Sasha the first years after the Ackermans' deaths.

"Mikasa," she insisted. "are you listening to me? It's not good to keep all that for yourself ... You know I'm here for you, right?"

There was no answer. In fact, Mikasa seemed to be frozen, because she didn't even blink.

"Well. I think that maybe I'll have to slap you to make you react ..." Sasha raised her hand. The ebony-haired girl held her wrist tightly.

"Don't touch me. And I don't need to cry."

"Ow, ow, it's fine. But let go of me, Mikasa ... It hurts ..." Mikasa released her, and she stroked her wrist to ease the pain. "That wasn't necessary at all, ok? Agh, shit, I think my wrist is fractured now ... It's okay, I'm overdoing it, but don't do that again."

Both of them heard the sound of a ringing cell phone. It was Mikasa's, and when Sasha took it, Carla Jaeger's name was on the screen.

It was 3:30 pm and Mikasa must have been at the Jaeger's about half an hour ago.

"You must answer. You can't run away all the time; for her, you're still her daughter's nanny." Sasha warned her. Mikasa said nothing this time either. "C'mon, you want me to answer it and tell her what happened with her son? It's worse if you don't do it, Mikasa. You owe this Mrs. an explanation; don't behave like a reckless child. You'll be twenty the next year, do you understand that?"

All Mikasa did was throw herself on the bed and cover her head with the pillow.

Sasha sighed, while the phone kept ringing insistently.

"It's okay. Be a teenager, but face the consequences as such." the brunette warned, grabbing her friend's phone in a blink of an eye. When Mikasa wanted to react, Sasha had locked herself in the bathroom, along with her cellphone.

"Sasha? Sasha! What are you gonna do? Open the door ..." Mikasa exclaimed, knocking on the door. But she didn't get an answer. "Sasha! Give me the damn phone! Don't you dare ..."

"You would have thought about it before, Mikasa!" the brown-haired girl yelled from the other side of the door. Mikasa could hear the moment her phone rang again, and the voice of her friend answering the call. "Hello? Yes ... No, Mrs. Jaeger, It's not Mikasa; it's her friend, actually: Sasha Braus ..."

"Sasha! Give the phone back! What the hell are you trying to do?" Mikasa hit the door again, but nothing happened. Sasha continued talking.

"Well, I can assure you that it isn't because of her, but your son, Mrs. Jaeger …" she paused. Mikasa clenched her teeth and fists, vowing that she would kill Sasha when she came out of the bathroom. "Yeah. Yes. It was because of your son. He made her make a stupid bet for her to give up ... Yeah, yes, ma'am ... What? No, excuse me but I think your son is a troublemaker and he forced her to quit, telling her horrible things. Listen, Mikasa loves Faye, but it's your son who makes her life unbearable, so she decided to give up and go talk to you about her resignation as soon as possible ... Yes, yes ... No. She doesn't want to meet Eren again ... No, I don't really know why she didn't tell you about this before. I guess she didn't want to bother you; Mikasa is quite reserved, and she doesn't like to disturb anyone, as you already know."

"Sasha, give me the phone ..." Mikasa insisted from outside, with a tired voice. Although she knew it was pointless; her friend wasn't willing to give her anything back.

"Yeah, she's a little indisposed. I ask you to forgive her; she was planning to talk to you today, it's just that she didn't know how to tell you she would quit."

There was another pause, a little longer than the previous ones. A while later, Sasha spoke again.

"Yeah. It's okay. Want to talk to her? ... Yes, okay. Let me..."

The door was opened at last. Sasha expected her best friend to give her a murderous glance when meeting her, but no. On the contrary, Mikasa looked disappointed and even sad.

But it wasn't against her. The brunette knew it. Mikasa wasn't mad at her. Not really.

"She wants to talk to you," Sasha warned her, handing the phone. Mikasa grabbed it, moving away from Sasha.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Jaeger ..." was the first thing she said. The woman on the other side was listening tensely, expectantly.

_"Mikasa? Mikasa, whatever may have happened between you and Eren, you must know that I won't allow that to happen anymore. I'm so sorry, dear. But come back, please. Or at least ... At least wait until I can find a replacement worthy of you. Faye loves you already, and I wouldn't trust my daughter's care in anyone else's hands but yours ... Think it twice, please; but I need you to come. I will double the payment, I will do whatever-"_

"Mrs. Jaeger, it's not about that. The payment is fine, and I love Faye as well, but ..." Mikasa was trying to calm herself down. To be honest, her heart was pounding in her chest.

_"Mikasa, you're the best babysitter my daughter has ever had. How could I let you go? I'll talk to Eren, we'll make it up, but I need you to come back ..."_

Mikasa sighed, the phone still in her ear.

"I swear it's not ..."

 _"Mikasa, I don't usually insist too much. I do it only because I couldn't imagine Faye under anyone's care but yours ... Dear, think about it, ok? At least for today ... I'll take Faye to work with me, and I'll give you time to calm down. But I'll wait for you tomorrow at home, okay? And don't worry, Eren will have me to deal with. Now I must go. Goodbye. I'll wait for you tomorrow."_ Carla repeated. The next second, Mikasa only heard the continuous, high-pitched sound, telling her the call was over.

"What did she say?" Sasha asked, tilting her head toward her friend. The dark-haired girl closed her eyes for a moment, with a slight frown and arched lips in a despairing grimace.

"I must go to the Jaeger's tomorrow ... Again," she answered, not opening her eyes. Sasha took a seat next to her, one hand on her shoulder.

"I gotta go to work now, ok? But you can go with me if you want ..."

"No no. It's okay, Sash. I'll be fine. You can go, and ... Forgive me for hurting you like that..."

Sasha giggled and hugged her tightly. She didn't care if Mikasa liked it or not, because she was used to it; but she was her best friend, and it wasn't bad to show her affection from time to time.

Mikasa, in turn, patted her on the back.

"I already got used to your 'ackerhumor'", you moron. I don't know which one of you is worse: if you or Levi ..."

"Don't tell me about Levi now ..." Mikasa's voice dropped an octave, because of the dramatic mood swing.

"Okay, it's fine. I'm leaving. Call me if you need something, okay?"

"Just leave, Sasha. You'll be late." Mikasa replied, waving her hand. Her friend released her and stood up, before giving her a kiss on the forehead that the girl barely managed to dodge, making Sasha let out a laugh.

"You DO love me, I know," Sasha said. Then she took her wallet, her earphones, before opening the door.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Bring me something to eat, please."

"Okay. Pudding?"

"Chocolate pudding, please."

Sasha winked at her, before closing the door behind her, after leaving. Mikasa went back to lie on the bed, sighing, with Carla Jaeger's call still spinning inside her head.

Ok. She had no choice but to go to the Jaeger's once more.

 

* * *

 

 

Sasha couldn't believe her eyes: this troublemaker guy, the one Mikasa punched right there in the store a few months ago, was now crossing the shop's gate, with a little girl next to him, holding his hand.

"Sasha, what's wrong?" Connie asked when he saw her walking away from the counter, on her way out. She still had two hours left to finish her shift, but her boyfriend liked to wait for her to go out to eat together. Eren stopped with Faye, seeing her come closer.

"What are you doing here? You don't remember me, but I do remember you, and I wanna let you know that because of you, pretty daddy's boy, my best friend lost her job ..." Sasha's eyes were burning in anger. Connie went after her, while Eren raised his hands in a defensive gesture.

"Hey, I come in peace. I just want to ..." It was strange to see Eren being attacked and not answering back. He looked confused, stammering a couple of times before being able to speak. Sasha crossed her arms, arching an eyebrow and moving her right foot insistently.

Faye watched the scene, amused, and her eyes danced from Sasha to Eren and from Eren to Sasha, as if she was watching a tennis match.

"What? Tell me, what do you want? I have no time to spare."

Eren stammered again.

Why was it so hard for him to say that he needed to talk to Mikasa?

"My brother's a dork and wants to apologize to my babysitter ..."

"Faye!" Eren exclaimed when his little sister spoke suddenly. Faye ignored him.

"He told me he knew where her friend worked, and we want you to tell us where she lives, so I can go and ask her to come back. Mom told me that she doesn't want to go home, and that's because of my brother, but I want her back, and he will apologize."

"Faye, please ..."

"Shut up, Eren. Adults are talking, so take a cookie and go." she scolded him, frowning, before looking back at Sasha. Eren had to hold a giggle, just as Sasha and Connie. "We need you to tell us where Mikasa lives, you... uh ... What's your name?"

"Sasha." the brown-haired girl said, still with crossed arms. Faye nodded.

"Sasha. I'm Faye ..."

"Yes, I know you're Faye and your brother is a ..."

"A dork, a moron, stupid, silly, dumb, yes. I know. I live with him." the little girl answered, rolling her eyes. "Are you gonna tell us, or not?"

Sasha couldn't help but think Faye was just as arrogant as her older brother, although that was not the truth. This child simply wanted to find the easiest way to find out her nanny's address, and find her as soon as possible.

"Well ... No. Let your brother find it out, without my help."

"Geez! Please ... Yes? I just want my nanny back ..." Faye pouted, letting out an intentional sob, her eyes watering. Eren knew she was lying, but he had to hold his giggle. Sasha, on the other hand, was about to fall; Connie didn't take long to surrender to this child. Yes, in a certain way, Faye had the gift of manipulation, and Connie could be easily a victim.

"Ehrmich Street, in the students building, apartment 202."

"Ah! Really? Thank you! Thank you very much, Baldy!" Faye pounced on Connie to give him a fleeting hug. Then she turned to her older brother. "Let's go, Eren! We have a mission to fulfill!" She exclaimed, smiling and pulling Eren's hand to leave the place. It didn't take long, though. The next second, the brunette-haired girl was staring at her boyfriend with murderous eyes, until a customer interrupted her killing. Sasha would call Mikasa later, but it wouldn't work. She wouldn't answer the phone, and Sasha knew she must have her headphones on full blast.

One day, Mikasa's eardrums would burst. Sasha was sure of it.

But she worried more about Mikasa's face when she saw Eren at their apartment's entrance.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When the doorbell rang, Mikasa's TV was on. Her phone had been left in some corner of the room a few hours ago, and she was about to fall asleep in front of the screen, watching a documentary about wild cats.

"Sasha? No, it's too early. Wasn't she going to go out with Connie today after work anyway? ..." she asked herself, as she walked slowly towards the door. Then she remembered something, wrinkling her face. "No no no. God, not Jean, please, no. Don't punish me like that ..."

And she opened the door, crossing her fingers, and a little girl with brown hair tidied in two pigtails rushed at her, hugging her tightly.

"Mikasa!" Faye yelled. But her nanny didn't answer; she was absorbed, amazed, confused, looking without blinking at the boy standing in the doorway.

"But what ... What are you doing here?" she said toward Eren.

"Mikasa! Mikasa, please, come back with us. I know it was his fault, but please ... Don't leave me ..."

Faye pouted, pleading with watery eyes, holding on to her nanny's legs. Mikasa sighed. Faye stood on tiptoes to let Mikasa know she wanted her to lift her up.

Eren didn't say a single word.

"Faye, it's not ..."

"It's his fault! And he told me he would apologize, wouldn't you, Eren?" the girl asked, holding Mikasa's face while looking at Eren, who was still standing in the door, almost frozen.

"Faye!" he yelled. Mikasa could swear that she saw his cheeks flush a little.

"Eren! You said you would do it!" Faye exclaimed, not letting her babysitter go. Then she turned her eyes to her. "Mikasa, will you come back with me? Say you will, please ..."

The girl kissed her nanny's cheek, burying her face in her neck. Mikasa didn't know what to say, but she didn't want to look at Eren either; as he didn't dare to look at her.

"God ... Faye, things are not as easy as they seem ..."

"This dork over there" Faye spoke, pointing to her brother. "doesn't want you to leave. He told me he won't bother you ever again ..."

"Faye, don't make things worse ..." Eren intervened.

"Shh! Shut up! Don't you see that I'm talking?" If one thing was for sure, Faye was as bossy as her older brother; stubborn, and somehow reckless, so she wasn't going to rest until her nanny told her yes. Then she looked back at Mikasa once more. "Don't leave me because of him ... Eren doesn't want me to be left without a nanny again ... And I ... I love you very much, Mikasa."

The tears that Faye's eyes had been holding, slid down her face like crystalline strands, while her voice cracked like an eggshell.

Mikasa felt her heart sink hopelessly. So she hugged Faye tightly, kissing her on the forehead while hearing her sobs.

"I can't believe this ..." Mikasa murmured a while later, though her voice was audible enough for Eren to hear her from where he was. "You brought here your seven-year-old sister to do your job? Really ... This is one of the biggest cowardly acts I've ever seen ..."

"Coward? I'm not a coward! My mother told her what was going on between us and I ... I told her I would make this up, and she wanted to come because she wanted to see you. I didn't bring her here! I ... I was going to do this on my own. Alone."

_Why am I stuttering this much?_

Eren wasn't able to look at this girl with short hair as dark as darkness, but he was well aware that these pair of huge gray eyes could pierce deeply inside his soul.

"That's the truth. I told him I would come with him to look for you and that's why he brought me." Faye intervened, from her hiding place. Mikasa sighed.

"All right. What are you supposed to come to? You got what you wanted, you won your bet. Now I have to pay you every month that I worked for your mother, so I doubt you really want to apologize. That's something too kind coming from someone like you."

Eren clenched his fists. He was trying to keep a certain amount of patience that he barely had.

"Look ... I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry I talked nonsense. It wasn't my intention. But you don't stop being a mean, annoying girl who thinks she's perfect. You know I'm telling the truth; otherwise, we wouldn't have been enemies from the very beginning."

"Oh, I think you forget that it wasn't me the one who entered my friend's store like a drunkard, pushing me without watching where he put his feet and the one who threatened my friend with taking her job ... If that was not enough to hate you from the beginning ... Well, I'm a drama queen, though."

Faye raised her head to watch them arguing: Mikasa had that expression of cold-headed calmness on her face, while Eren was about to smoke out of his ears.

"You see? It's impossible talking to someone like you. And sarcasm isn't necessary, ok? I just want to ... Well, Faye wants you to come back. I won't annoy you anymore, and forget about the debt; You don't have to pay me for anything. We are ..." Eren cleared his throat. "We are adults. Things can be fixed in other ways."

Before Mikasa opened her mouth, Faye put her little fingers on her cheek to get her attention.

"Mikasa, I'm hungry ..."

"You can go to the kitchen. There are cookies and snacks inside the fridge. Take what you want from there."

Faye got out of her arms and ran to the kitchen with the speed of lightning. Eren didn't dare to move from the entrance.

"Finally you understood that we are adults, didn't you? It took you a while."

"Fuck. You are really impossible to deal with," he replied, shaking his head. "You haven't even invited me to get in." Eren snorted. "How rude of you."

"I wouldn't have to. We're not friends and you were never the nicest. In fact, I think it's about to rain something weird (and it's not water) because someone like you apologizing is quite an event."

_Damn, she's as stubborn and nasty as she is beautiful. Why the hell does she have to be so tough?_

_And why the hell do you think of her like that, Eren ?!_

Mikasa didn't know exactly why Eren's cheeks flushed.

"Well, I've found that you and I can never have a decent or friendly conversation. I'm not even sure why the hell I came here ..."

"You shouldn't do something out of obligation; You shouldn't if you didn't want to. It's no use."

Her stoicism. Her damned stoicism was what was going to make Eren lose his sanity. He couldn't bear to see her so calm, with that insufferable look on her face of "Look-all-the-shits-I-give".

"It wasn't ... Agh. This is pointless. Faye, let's go now!" He shouted, craning his neck to take a better look inside the apartment. Faye came out of somewhere, her mouth full of something.

"No! I want to stay with Mikasa!" the girl replied, walking towards her babysitter. Eren didn't know what the bag in her hands had, but he couldn't care less, reaching out to her instead.

"Let's move on!"

"Mikasa, are you going back?" the little girl asked, looking up at her nanny. Mikasa's answer wasn't as quick as she expected.

"No, she won't. She wants to play it hard and that's why you and I are leaving now. C'mon, let's go."

"No! I'm not leaving!" frowning, Faye crossed her arms against her chest, kicking the floor in protest.

"Oh no. Not you." her older brother warned, crossing the threshold to get her sister out. Faye let out a deafening shriek as Eren's hands lifted her, ready to get her out of there. And he couldn't help but release her, because Faye didn't stop wriggling. The bag of chips ended up spread on the floor and a few on Mikasa's head.

"Leave her alone," Mikasa demanded, with the same cold expression on her face, exclusively devoted to Eren. "You don't have to force her. She'll do it." in complete serenity, the girl knelt before Faye to be able to look her in the eyes. "Faye, your mother asked me to go tomorrow, okay? I will be there. I'll give her some time to find another babysitter, so I can stay with you a little longer."

The girl's eyes moistened again. Had it been any other brat, Mikasa would have rolled her eyes, sure they were acting. But not Faye. The bond they had formed, made her know that the child wasn't lying about her feelings or tears.

"I don't want another babysitter ... I want you." Faye pouted, as Mikasa hastened to wipe away her tears. Eren watched the scene, somewhat jealous.

He would have wanted Faye to cry like that for him.

But Armin would have told him it was his fault, for not being a good older brother before.

"Shh. Hey, don't cry, babygirl. We said that big girls don't cry, didn't we? C'mon, you're a big girl. You must be strong..."

"Like you?" the girl asked, her voice choked with emotion. Mikasa smiled at her, sweetly.

"If you wanna see it that way ... It's fine. But I don't want you to cry. Promise you won't cry, Faye."

"Just if you promise that you will be my nanny forever."

Mikasa couldn't help but smile again, this time a little more widely, causing her eyes to narrow a little. When Eren saw her, he thought ...

Well, Eren had never seen a woman smiling with such tenderness and sincerity before, apart from his mother.

Eren's heart skipped a beat, even though he wasn't aware of it.

_Did she really smile? Wow, that's quite an event._

"I promise I'll be there tomorrow."

"Promise?"

"Yes. When have I failed you?"

A childish smile seemed to light the whole room up.

"Never."

Faye felt a kiss on her forehead, and another one on her cheek. Mikasa stood up.

"All right. Your brother is waiting for you."

The child nodded, doing as she was told to grab Eren's hand, which was already extended to her. Before leaving, a new figure made his entrance on the scene.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jean's voice was heard throughout the corridor on the second floor, taking Eren and Mikasa off guard. Eren frowned at once; Mikasa's eyes fixed on him with a grimace of unpleasant surprise.

"No, Jean, what are YOU doing here?" she asked, a little afraid that both of them started an argument in university facilities, with Faye in the middle.

"I came to ask you if we could ... Wait, why is he here?"

"That's my business, isn't it?"

"It's true. Stay out." Faye's haughty intervention made Eren snort, although he tried to hold it back, but he didn't succeed. Jean wanted to punch him, and Mikasa had to hold his arm as soon as possible. All in a matter of seconds.

Eren looked at Mikasa, and Mikasa at him.

These turquoise eyes trapped in liquid silver gray for an eternal instant.

Faye looked at both of them, with a slight smile on her lips.

Jean felt his blood boiling inside his veins.

"I wanted to know if you could ..." He interrupted them, while Eren jumped out of his trance to move away, despite his little sister.

"No. I can't. I was going to sleep, actually." Mikasa replied coldly. Jean's heart broke into a thousand pieces, and apparently, Faye heard it, because she cackled, sticking out her tongue toward the ash-haired boy, and then looked back again. She and her brother left the building quietly, but the smile Eren gave her was suggestively knowing.

"What about that face of his, huh?" Eren asked as he pulled his sister into the back seat of his BMW. The girl's laughter sounded like thousands of bells.

"He's a horse," Faye replied. Both of them laughed out loud.

"Give me an h5, little goblin," he said. Faye high-fived him, and Eren went into his seat, turning on the car. The next second, they saw Jean leave the students building, downcast, his hands in his pockets, and kinda pissed.

It was obvious that Mikasa had rejected him.

And that was enough for Faye.

And unexpectedly, also for Eren.

* * *

 

 

The afternoon Annie called Eren, her father wasn't home. The white BMW stopped in front of the Leonhardt's door and Eren got out of it, looking forward to something, almost happy, almost dancing.

The day he was waiting for had arrived.


	12. Déjá vu

Eren cleared his throat. Not even he himself could believe what was happening.

"Eren?"

Annie's voice took him out of his thoughts. Even though they had been smooching, Eren's head was elsewhere but there.

But he only remembered the reason he was there when he saw Annie's hand come out of his pants.

"Eh ..." he stuttered. She had a slight frown as she watched him closely, waiting for an answer.

"What's wrong? I thought you would get hard, but ..."

"I- I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking about. We can ... We can start again if you want to."

Annie kissed him again, pushing him onto his back, her hands slipped back into Eren's trousers, but this time it wasn't enough to make him harden.

"Dammit. Wasn't this what you wanted, Eren?" she protested, notoriously angry when she pulled away. He looked confused. Eren was about to believe that he had entered into an alternate reality.

"I ... I don't really know what's happening with me."

_You know it, dickhead._

Annie stood up from bed, about to lose her temper. Eren felt guilty, trying to deny what was going through his head.

"Of course you know. What really happens is that you don't want to be with me, though," she replied, arms crossed against her chest.

"What? I... I don't-"

"Tell me, Eren: who the hell are you thinking about? There's another woman on your mind?"

Annie's back was toward him. Eren snorted.

"What? What the fuck are you talking about? Where do you get that from?" he asked aloud, annoyed. However, there was a tinge of nervousness in his voice, which fortunately Annie didn't notice.

"I don't know. You tell me. You avoided me for several weeks after your accident, and now you don't arouse while I kiss you."

Annie's words were coldly blatant.. That was the last straw. Eren stood up, doing his zip-up; he was absolutely pissed.

"Are you really telling me that I avoided you? Annie, you didn't visit me while I was in the hospital, and you didn't answer my calls after that either."

"They didn't let me in to see you there. And I never saw a call from you. I wasn't going to step on your house either; You know your mother hates me."

"Don't look for excuses! Neither you, nor Reiner, nor Bertholdt came to see me, not even when I returned home, and yet I decided to let you all be in."

"No, Eren, I think it's you the one looking for excuses to justify that you don't want me ... Or better I should say ... your dysfunction." Annie regretted saying that at the same time. But what's done, is done.

Eren's eyes widened in a bewildered grimace. Oh. He couldn't feel more humiliated when he realized the implication of Annie's words.

"I'm not ..." Eren's voice got caught in his throat. Then he snorted, making his way to the door. "It's okay. Think whatever the hell you want. Goodbye."

"Eren, don't go ... We have to talk ..." Annie said, walking behind him. She remembered Armin's words, convinced this was the right time to do so ...

But Eren didn't stop his way to look at her.

"Not this time, Annie. It's pointless."

A minute later, the BMW was moving away from the Leonhardt's house.

That relationship went from bad to worse, and Annie didn't know whether to feel relieved or frustrated.

She had to talk to Eren before it was too late.

 

* * *

 

Mikasa wouldn't go to Shiganshina this summer. It had been already decided.

And less now that Levi had officially received Uncle Kenny in his own house.

She hated this. She really hated this.

And before arguing with his older brother for having made the biggest mistake of his life, she preferred not to see him.

"You're sure you can go alone, Mikasa? There are fifteen minutes until ten o'clock at night, and I don't like to know that you'll go on that motorcycle at this time."

Carla looked worried. But Mikasa made an effort not to roll her eyes; every night was the same. However, deep down she was pleased to know that this woman with two children and thousands of responsibilities also cared about her.

As her own mother would have done.

Faye had fallen asleep more than an hour ago, and Carla had just arrived home.

"Don't worry, Carla. This girl could knock me down with a single finger of hers. I'm sure nothing will happen to her."

Eren's sudden intervention as he went downstairs made his mother and the babysitter turn to look at him. When Mikasa's eyes met his, they both had to look away quickly from each other.

Carla just smiled to herself.

"You could drive her home, Eren." his mother suggested. Mikasa shook her head before he could give an answer.

"No. Don't bother, Mrs. Jager; that's not necessary. I'm serious when I say it's easier to go on my motorcycle than without it, and then have to come again and get it. Really, you don't need to worry."

"It's okay. But you must message me as soon as you arrive, okay?" Carla said, raising her index finger. Mikasa nodded with a light smile. "So, will you be able to continue working with us in the summer?"

"Yes. I must stay in Trost for academic stuff, so... Yeah."

"All right. Faye will be more than happy. That means you can join us this weekend at our beach house, isn't it, Eren?"

Eren opened his eyes, surprised. He didn't expect his mother to ask him about that.

"Eh ... Well ..."

"Mrs. Jaeger ..."

"Mikasa, there are two things I want you to keep in mind; the first: don't call me missus. And the second: I don't want you to work that day; I just want you to come with us. That's all. Of course, unless you can't attend, but we would love to have you with us that weekend."

"Well ... Uh ... I ..." Mikasa stammered. But Carla looked at her with such insistence that it was hard to say no. "It's okay. I think ... I have nothing to do these days."

"You can take your friend with you; the girl you're living with," Carla suggested. The nanny shook her head.

"Well, I'd like it. But her father will come to pick her up and take her to Shiganshina to spend the summer there. So she can't come with me."

"All right. I wait for you on Saturday then. And please, don't come on your motorcycle; You don't know how nervous I get to see you running that thing." Carla warned, her hands on her forehead. Eren held a mocking laugh as he went downstairs to the kitchen. Mikasa avoided looking at him, but her cheeks turned slightly scarlet when her eyes could catch a glimpse of that grin of his.

"Uh ... Yes." the girl stuttered. "I'll be here. I'll see you later, Mrs. Ja- I'm sorry, Carla." She said, almost tsking. Carla smiled at her. "Goodnight."

"Good night, daughter."

Mikasa went out and closed the door behind her. Eren left the kitchen a while later, biting a makeshift sandwich.

"Is she gone?" he asked, standing next to his mother, and looking towards the door. Carla nodded.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"Who?"

His mother rolled her eyes.

"Mikasa."

Eren nearly choked on the bread he had bitten. But he swallowed hard and managed not to cough.

"I don't know. It's not like I'm aware of it." He said. And then he went up to his room before Carla made another comment like that.

"Liar." she murmured as he walked away, with a mocking smile on her lips.

 

* * *

 

 

"Ah, thank God you're here," Carla said when she saw Mikasa go through the Jaeger's gate without her motorcycle. "Come on, honey, get in the car, quickly. We're leaving now," she said, waving her hand while Eren opened the door of his car, and Grisha of his, so that his wife and daughter could get in. Mikasa and Eren opened their eyes widely, dropping their jaws a little. Faye ran to hug her babysitter, as always.

"What?" Both of them exclaimed at the same time. Mikasa's cheeks acquired a slightly red tinge.

"What what? Or are you all planning to come with us in the same car? We are three, you are two, so you must go with Mikasa, Eren. Oh, and Armin is missing too."

"No, mom. Armin won't come. He said he has to deliver a project next week-"

"All right." Carla interrupted. "More space for you. Come on, come on, don't stand there and get in."

"Mommy, can I go with Eren and Mikasa?" Faye asked, grabbing her nanny's checkered skirt. Carla shook her head.

"No. Mikasa didn't come to take care of you this time, so leave her alone for now."

"Carla, we're late. We must leave now or we will be stuck in the ten o'clock traffic." Grisha announced, from the other side of his Mercedes Benz. His wife nodded, reaching for Faye's.

"All right. There is no time to lose. Eren, don't drive so fast, please."

"I got it, Carla. You don't have to remind me of it." her son replied. But his mother had already gotten into the Mercedes with Faye when he finished the sentence. A little uncomfortable (and also nervous), Eren opened the passenger door for Mikasa.

She followed every movement of his with her eyes, somewhat reluctant. Actually, she couldn't believe her eyes.

And well, yeah. Eren could have been an asshole before, but he never forgot what his parents taught him: to be a gentleman with women ...

At least if he was on good terms with them.

"You're not getting in?"

"Eh ... Yes." Mikasa said, in a voice so low he could barely hear her. Eren's eyes went to that part of her body that the skirt didn't cover, and he thought the girl had beautiful legs.

And nice eyes.

And nice ass.

And beautiful curves.

And...

He swallowed hard, getting on his side of the car. It was 30 minutes from Stohess to the Jaegers' beach house.

And Eren couldn't believe that this girl next to him didn't utter a single word the whole trip.

"Hey ..." he said. There were five minutes to arrive. "I know we hate each other and all that, but ... Is it necessary to make it so uncomfortable?"

Mikasa took a while to respond. Although she didn't look away from the window, her chin resting on her hand.

"I don't hate you. But I don't think we have much to talk about."

"You don't hate me? Well, I must call that into question. You've punched me three times already."

"Because you deserved it."

Eren sighed.

"Fuck. Could you pretend at least? I don't know ... I'm not used to go with someone in my car and not talking ... It feels weird, it's uncomfortable. And you're the most absurdly complicated person I've met in my damn life."

This time, Mikasa didn't respond immediately either.

"I'm not good at pretending."

Eren let out a whistle.

"Aren't you a fucking Slytherin? You should be able to do it well."

"I'm not that kind of ..." Mikasa stopped, then turned her head towards him, somewhat upset. "Why do you all assume that I must be a hypocrite or something like that just for being a Slytherin?"

"Because the end justifies the means, or that is what you guys think." Eren looked ahead, slowing down.

"What the...? No. It's not always like that. See why we will never get along? Gryffindors and Slytherins are natural enemies."

"It's possible. But Snape and Lily were friends until she started dating Potter."

"You're hella wrong. That wasn't until he called her mudblood. You should read better."

Mikasa spoke with such seriousness that Eren wanted to tease her a little.

But he thought it better and knew that couldn't be a good idea.

"I prefer the movies," Eren replied, with a giggle of satisfaction. Mikasa looked at him scornfully.

"Shame on you."

"I don't care. At least I made you talk. We're here." he warned her, with the same shit-eating grin on his face. Mikasa, in turn, felt a strange and unknown tingling in her stomach.

The car stopped in front of a beautiful beach house with a blue facade overlooking the sea and huge windows, with a balcony on the second floor and a Mediterranean touch. The girl was almost open-mouthed; but Faye pulled her out of her astonishment when she came out of nowhere and took her hand, pulling her into the house.

"Come! Come with me, I want you to see everything!" the little girl cried excitedly, while Carla laughed, getting out of Grisha's car. Mikasa couldn't help it: Faye showed her each and every one of the house corners, from top to bottom, from right to left, and even took her to wet her feet at the seashore. Dealing with children was exhausting, but the babysitter had to admit that Faye was a different and very special thing.

And she was relieved to know that now Eren was behaving better with his younger sister. That reminded her of Levi, and of her childhood, and how happy she had been, long ago.

And she smiled to herself, though there was sadness and nostalgia in her smile, while Carla thought about ordering something to eat.

"I can cook, Mrs. Ja ... Carla. If you want me to."

The offer took the woman a little by surprise. Mikasa was standing behind her, at the kitchen's threshold.

Carla smiled broadly, setting the phone down.

"Well, I didn't bring you here to do such things, Mikasa. I don't want you to bother ..."

"It's not a big deal. It's just that I hate when I have nothing to do."

"I thought Faye had you caught in one of her doll games."

"Not really. She and your son are upstairs with the play station."

"And they didn't invite you to play?" Carla asked, somewhat surprised. Her huge turquoise eyes, just like Eren's, opened as she spoke. Mikasa shook her head.

"Yes," Mikasa lied." But it's not that I like those games very much." she lied again. Actually, Mikasa could spend hours with Sasha, in front of a TV, breaking her own record in auto racing and all these versions of Mortal Kombat.

But Eren wasn't going to invite her to play. They didn't have enough confidence to do so.

"All right. Grisha is sunbathing, and I was going to call a restaurant, but ... I wouldn't mind trying something of yours. Do you want me to help you?" Mikasa nodded. Carla took out two aprons from a cabinet, handing her one. "You only order. I am all ears."

And the girl smiled, with that modest smile of hers. And Carla wondered why this girl so young and beautiful never smiled broadly, just like other teens her age.

She had never heard Mikasa's laughter. To be a 19-year-old girl, she was quite serious, reserved, calm and sober (the opposite of Eren); and that was good, up to a point. But it was intriguing as well.

Carla Jaeger wanted to know her past and the reason why she seemed to be sad all the time.

She also wanted to give her a hug, in case she needed it; but that would have been inappropriate.

And they talked about many things while cooking. Mikasa showed her a family recipe, and Carla gave her the secret so that the pudding was well baked. They set the table together, and Carla called the others to eat. And Mikasa wanted to cry for a second, because she had forgotten this was how it felt to have a family.

Carla's breath caught in her throat, because her biggest wish was to see her family always together.

It wasn't even obvious that Eren and Grisha hadn't spoken to each other for a few weeks.

"Love, where did you get this recipe? This is delicious." the doctor asked while they ate. The midday sun lighted up the entire dining room.

"Oh, I didn't, but Mikasa. The credit is all hers. I only helped." Carla answered. Eren looked at the girl, amazed. She wanted to hide her face somewhere, but her eyes could only stay locked on the plate, blood rising to her cheeks.

"You know how to cook?" Eren exclaimed as if it were the most extraordinary thing in the world.

_Shit, Annie has never done that._

"Well, I must say that you have talent, daughter," continued Grisha. "This is truly delicious."

"Even Faye has eaten all her veggies. And she hates them." Carla intervened. Faye wrinkled her face immediately.

"Did I eat veggies? Agh, shit, and I swallowed them all!"

"Faye!" Carla yelled. No one could ignore the language of a seven-year-old girl.

"Faye, no swearing on the table, okay?" her father scolded her, frowning.

"And off the table?" the girl asked, with a mischievous grimace. Eren had to hold back a laugh, and Mikasa pressed her lips together to keep from giggling.

Eren looked at her, and Mikasa at him.

The blush was evident in both of them. Those two seconds seemed heavenly eternal.

Mikasa wondered why she felt something flutter in her stomach as she watched that liquid emerald color in that boy's eyes.

"Not on the table, nor outside, nor anywhere. Finish your dish." Grisha warned his daughter. Carla couldn't believe it; it seemed like ages since the last time they could eat peacefully, all at the same table, without seeing a hell breaking loose at the end of the evening.

That's why she knew she couldn't mention anything about his older son's true calling. She had been tempted to talk about it, saying that Eren made the best Crème brûlée of all Paradi, but that would have been the same as summoning hell on earth, or, to be more specific, to provoke Grisha's anger and make everything go to waste.

It was better to leave things as they were. For the moment.

It wasn't good to ruin the moment of peace that had cost her so much work. Nor did she want to spoil Mikasa's day, who at least then seemed in a better mood.

When evening came, Eren wanted to go out to smoke at the seashore behind Carla's back, or she would have ruined his cigarette in a single slap. Fortunately, she was asleep, like Faye, while Grisha watched television to fall asleep a while later too, probably.

When Eren came out, Mikasa was sitting on a towel, watching the skyline, with arms wrapped around her knees. Eren stopped beside her, not sitting, but leaning his back on the palm tree nearby.

"Nice sunset, isn't it?" He commented, making Mikasa startle. She looked at him, but she didn't change her position. She didn't answer either. "It looks like a movie."

There was silence. Eren decided to sit down, a meter away from the girl.

"It's a nasty habit, you know."

He turned his head towards her when he heard her voice. Then he blinked several times, almost unable to believe she uttered a word.

"What are you talking about?"

"Smoking. It damages your lungs, but I think you should already know that. You're an idiot, but ... Not so much as to ignore that you're killing yourself slowly."

Eren raised an eyebrow. He didn't know whether to laugh or feel outraged.

"Well, are you trying to give me some advice, or did you just use that as an excuse to insult me?" the boy asked; something like a modest smile stretched the girl's mouth, and Eren noticed.

And he stared at her profile and also her lips.

For a moment, Eren was tempted to bite a fresh peach.

A peach, or ...

"Both of them," she replied. He let out a whistle.

"Hey, I think it's been enough, right? I apologized to you. You should be less rude now. Or is it that you like my rough side the most?"

Mikasa shook her head. Eren realized that she was trying not to smile.

"It's okay. I'll try. As long as you don't send your friends back to kidnap Faye or something like that. You know, that was hella pathetic."

Eren clenched his teeth. It had been a long time since the last he felt that embarrassed.

"I was upset, ok? I wasn't thinking clearly. I should have gone and hit you by myself."

Mikasa didn't know at first if Eren was joking or not, until she saw him let out a laugh.

"Would you be able to hit a woman?" she asked, somewhat alarmed. He shook his head.

"I've never done that. But let's say that with you I feel an ... unhealthy curiosity to try and see if I can beat you down."

"Wanna try?" Mikasa pronounced, stretching her legs now, as if she was about to stand up. Eren's eyes were about to pop out of their sockets when he saw her closing her fists, so he waved his arms in her direction.

"Of course not. Do you want Carla to kill me?"

"No, if I kill you first."

"You would go to jail for that."

"It would be worth it."

Their eyes met again. This time, it was her teasing him. Mikasa let out a shy smile, and Eren's laugh sounded a little nervous.

"You are creepy. I don't get how your boyfriend deals with you."

The girl frowned. Her gesture was not the kindest and Eren raised an eyebrow.

"I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh don't you? And this horse-fac- This guy who went to visit you the other night? I thought ... There was something between you guys." Eren didn't know if his words had been a guess or a trick question.

Mikasa shook her head immediately.

"We are nothing. It's just someone struggling to understand certain things."

Eren whistled again in amazement. Mikasa looked back at the sunset.

"Whoah. Poor guy; Have they told you that you are cruel as fuck?"

Mikasa sighed.

"If you ask my best friend for a word to describe me, it is exactly that one."

"Ok. I start to understand better why you are a Slytherin."

She didn't answer. Eren had also understood that her sister's nanny was one of those people who find it hard to hold a chat.

Was it just him, or did the girl's cheeks burn like embers?

_Ok, it must be the heat._

_Yes. That was it._

"Hey ... you're good at cooking."

"Eh?" Apparently, Mikasa had been distracted thinking of several things at once, forgetting that Eren was there.

_What the hell are you thinking about?_

"It's just ... You cook good." _Damn, why are you so tough?_

Mikasa blushed again.

"Eh ... Well, yes. Thank you, I guess …" she was going to be quiet, but she knew she couldn't do it. Eren was doing his best, and she also had to play her part. "And ... you ... Your mother told me that you like cooking too."

"Surely you remember it for that argument you heard that time between them …" Eren said. There was no storm in his voice like other times; he looked more like ... Downcast, embarrassed, for the second time that day.

"No. Not really. Truth be told, I don't remember anything from that day, except for what you said later ..." she replied. Eren was aware of the bitterness in the girl's voice.

"Hey, I told you I was sorry. I had no intention to ..." as Eren guessed, it was better to change the topic of their conversation."Yes. I'd like to be a pastry chef, but you know that already. My father wants me to be a doctor, and ... I think that forcing me to study medicine is a way to get revenge on me for what happened to my grandfather ..."

Eren sighed. Those gray eyes like liquid silver looked at him again, with interest and warmth. But Mikasa wasn't able to hold her gaze for more than a second, when she found herself with those eyes filled with an emerald bonfire."

"I don't think a father wants to get revenge on their children in any way. That's-"

"Nonsense, yeah. But Grisha thinks I was the one responsible for my grandfather's accident. And probably he is right. I was somewhat older than Faye, and they forbade me to go out that day ... I didn't obey, and I threw myself into the avenue to run away from home ... A car was approaching at that moment and my grandfather pushed me to avoid the car will hit me ... Since then, he can't walk."

There was silence again.

The breeze hit them in the face, and the sound of breaking sea waves filled their ears.

Mikasa sighed.

"My brother says that ... No one is guilty of anything, except fate, because nobody knows the outcome of things. He would say that you were a child and you couldn't know the result of your actions; You made the decision to leave, and your grandfather to rescue you, so the responsibility is for your grandfather, because he was the adult, and I'm sure he doesn't blame you for anything. Neither should you do it with yourself. Self-compassion will always be useless."

Eren was a little stunned. Among his friends, only Armin knew how to give him such honest and wise answers. In fact, Mikasa looked a little like him; only less talkative and with a little less Machiavellian mind.

"I guess so."

"And with regards to your father ... I would try to talk to him instead if I was yours, if possible."

"No. It's not." Eren stated plainly.

"You tried?"

"No."

"Then don't say it's not possible until you've tried."

"I just know it. He won't allow me to study what I want because I would dishonor the Jaeger surname; that's all ..." Eren clenched his fists and teeth. He cleared his throat before his voice broke, but that didn't stop his eyes from flooding with tears. "Sometimes I would like to change my name and forget about this family ... Sometimes I wish I had no father."

"No. Don't say that again. Never again ... You don't know how terrible it feels."

A gust of wind ruffled Mikasa's hair. She shrugged her legs again, wrapping her arms around her knees.

Eren watched her for a few seconds and ran his eyes down each line of her profile.

Then he had the feeling of having been there before, with her.

A _déjà vu._

"Yeah. I'm sorry ... I think I was just ranting ... If you want to talk to me about something-"

"No. I don't want to talk about my parents."

Mikasa's voice was enough to make Eren understand that the subject was taboo.

When Eren looked ahead, it was she who stopped to stare at him. This boy had all the fury and passion of a lion; his jaw made him look imposing, capable of wiping out the entire world, even though deep down he was nothing more than a scared puppy. This disheveled wild hair he let himself grow a little and made him look fiercer, gave the girl a strange desire to touch him.

And then there was this god-awful beard that he didn't want to remove.

She laughed up her sleeves.

"What's your favorite dessert?" Eren asked a while later, wanting to dispel the tension settled over them.

Mikasa no longer seemed so arrogant and mean.

Eren didn't seem to be the same douchebag and reckless boy anymore.

"Pudding."

The question seemed to cheer the girl up.

"Chocolate pudding, right?"

"Yeah. How do you know that?"

"Faye told me. She talks so much about you that my ears hurt." Eren said between laughs. Mikasa also laughed, though her smile was always a modest one, while her face turned red again. "It's so cute what you do ..."

"Eh?"

"That thing you do with your nose when you laugh ..."

_Damnit, Eren. You and your damn big mouth._

Mikasa was all scarlet-faced.

And to hide her exaggerated blush, she looked at her watch.

"It's almost time for dinner," she commented. "I'll go to..."

"Don't worry about it. I called a restaurant to ask for dinner. Carla wouldn't let you cook again."

Nevertheless, Mikasa stood up, shaking the sand from her skirt and legs.

Yes. She has beautiful legs.

"I'm going inside. It's getting dark."

Eren nodded, taking a poof of the cigarette he had already forgotten, thanks to the face of an angel with black hair.

"Ackerman." He called her, right before she got in the house.

She turned around.

"Yes?"

"...Friends?"

Mikasa smiled again.

"No. Not yet."

 

* * *

 

Mikasa and the Jaegers returned to Trost the next day. Carla asked Eren to take the girl to the university building, and he didn't hesitate this time. However, Mikasa was asleep when Eren turned onto Ehrmich Street. He didn't want to wake her up, so he thought it would be a good idea to carry her to her apartment on his arms ...

Until Mikasa, who had a rather light sleep, felt his arms beneath her and pulled away as fast as she could.

Eren apologized as many times as possible, while she insisted that everything was fine.

Mikasa had never blushed so many times in less than 24 hours.

Eren had never felt more overwhelmed by a girl.

But they couldn't deny this weekend had been quite satisfactory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I think this has been the longest chapter by far. More than 5000 words LOL.
> 
> I think you've already noticed what the purpose is with so many references to Harry Potter, right? As reading bonds people together, this could be a good reason why our lovebirds begin to see each other in a different way. I believe that a good friendship begins with a good book, and a good courtship with a good friendship, thanks to the book xD.
> 
> Ok, the mother-daughter relationship between Carla and Mikasa is one of my favorites. God, I put all my soul on it; but I think it was the hardest thing to write until now. Actually, I don't want to make their relationship all of a sudden, but tender and adorable, just like in canon. I hope I have achieved my goal.
> 
> And yes, it is obvious at this point that Eren and Mikasa begin to like each other, but don't rush. I won't do it and they won't either, ha ha ha. There are still things to be solved. And don't despair about Annie; soon we will know what happens to her.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing. Leave your reviews, we fanfickers really appreciate your opinion, especially the constructive criticism. A single comment of encouragement can make us smile on a bad day. And for my English readers, please, I beg you to remember I'm not a native English speaker. I'm working with my beta reader so I'll fix my mistakes as soon as I can. Thanks in advance.
> 
> See you next chapter.


	13. Why do I wanna know about her?

Mikasa's phone rang.

She was so tired after the first day of the children's summer camp that she had fallen asleep at the dining room table.

The things she had to do for the scholarship... She could stand Faye; she liked her. This child had become an important part of her life, and she loved her. But Faye Jaeger was the only child who had known how to win her affections by far. Classes at the summer camp were exhausting and her students were nothing more than a bunch of rude, noisy kids, almost impossible to handle.

When the phone ring woke her up, she was drooling.

"Hello?" she answered with a lazy voice, wiping her face.

" _Mikasa? Were you sleeping?_ " Hanji asked from the other side. Mikasa yawned before speaking again, rubbing her eyes.

"Uh? Hanji? No no. I was just ... Is it something wrong?"

" _Nothing like that, kid. Why should you always assume that something bad happens? I just called to hear from you._ " Hanji replied.

Mikasa thought about Kenny. But she didn't say anything about it.

"I ... Um. I'm fine, Hanji. What about you? And the baby? Is he ok?"

" _We're fine, both of us. And don't assume the gender yet; we'll know it the next month. And your brother is ok too, do you hear me?_ " Hanji paused for a moment. "Mikasa, I know you don't want to talk to him, but ..."

"Hanji, no. I don't wanna talk to him or about him." the girl rudely answered. But she didn't expect to feel the sudden change in her sister-in-law's voice too. It was quite unusual to see or hear Hanji Zoe angry, but when that happened, there was no way to contradict her.

" _Listen to me carefully you brat: knock this nonsense off, both of you. Levi is over thirty and you are not a kid anymore. Siblings arguings at your age are stupid. But I didn't call to scold you, but to tell you something._ "

Mikasa sighed. She wrinkled her face in resignation, making her way to the fridge to find something to eat.

"Fine. What's the matter?"

" _Levi was promoted, but to take his new position, we must move to Trost. So we won't be far from you anymore. He didn't tell you because you're not answering his calls, and he said he won't call you again until you do._ "

"Well, tell him that-"

" _No. I'm not a damn owl, kid. We'll move there as soon as Commander Smith gives the order._ "

Mikasa opened her eyes wide suddenly in realization.

"Wait ... Hanji, don't tell me that..."

" _What?_ "

"Tell me that ... Don't tell me Kenny will come with you guys..."

Silence.

The girl clenched her jaw and fists, trying to hold her tongue.

Hanji spoke a while later.

" _Mikasa, the old man is not the same. Even Levi is amazed at his behavior ..._ "

"Levi is just being naive and you know it."

" _Mikasa, you know that I never liked Kenny, but it's heartless to leave an old man of his age out there in the streets. I understand you, but I also understand Levi. And you can't ask him to reject an almost seventy-years-old man who carries his blood, and yours too_."

Mikasa thought that the best thing they could do was take him to a retirement home.

But she didn't let that thought out either.

"I just ... I hope this doesn't end badly, Hanji," she said, hearing her sister-in-law sighing from the other side.

" _All right. Same here. I'll call you tomorrow, because you won't do it. Bye, kid. And please,_ _be a bad girl_ _; At your age, it's not good to be so boring._ "

"Meh. Bye, Hanji," she said. A second later, the call was over. And her phone rang again.

Unknown number, but Mikasa answered anyway.

"Hello?"

" _Mikasa? Mikasa Ackerman? Is that you_?" a high-pitched voice said. Mikasa was sure she knew that voice.

"Uh ... Yeah. It's me..."

" _Mika! It's me, Hisu! Historia Reiss!_ " the girl said, enthusiastic. Mikasa made a throaty sound that let her know she was glad to hear her, even if she wasn't as enthusiastic as her.

"Hi there, Historia. How long it's been? One year?"

" _Yeah, one year since we left school. Sasha is here and she gave me your number. It's a pity you couldn't come this summer because there are so many girly things we have planned and you'll be the only one missing. How are you?_ "

"Fine. Well, a little bored without Sash, but ... I'm fine. And you?" Mikasa asked. She sat on the couch, holding a bag of snacks in her hand, opening it carefully so that Historia wouldn't hear the noise from the other side.

" _Well, I'm great. And that's why I'm calling you, because I wanted to let you know that Ymir and I are going to get married, and you can't miss our wedding_." the girl replied. Mikasa arched an eyebrow. It was a relief that her old school friend wasn't able to read her thoughts, but it was always ironic to her that the most desired girl by the Shiganshina High School's male students was never interested in one of those boys. Then she laughed up her sleeves.

"Uh... Aren't you guys too young for that?" Realizing what she said, Mikasa cleared her throat, stammering. "Well, it's not like I want to mind your bus-"

Historia let out a laugh with that high-pitched voice of hers that seemed like a pair of tinkling bells.

" _Don't worry, you're not the first to tell me. Dad also thinks the same, but you know that there was something between Ymir and I since we started school, so it's about time to take the next step. You'll come, right, Mikasa?_ "

"Well ... If it's for the weekend, I wouldn't doubt it. You know I must be here from Monday to Friday, so ..."

" _Yeah. The summer camp. Sasha told me about that too. I had Ymir to arrange the date so you could come. So you have no excuse, okay?_ " Historia said. Mikasa made that noise again to let her know her answer was affirmative. Historia already knew her, so she knew that slight moan was Mikasa's silent laugh.

"Ok. I'll be there."

" _All right. I'll send an invitation for two people, in case you want to bring someone with you ..._ " Historia's voice sounded now a little deeper and somewhat sly.

"Eh? What do you mean? Sasha is no longer here ..."

" _Agh_." Mikasa was sure that her friend had rolled her eyes when complaining. " _I'm not talking about Sasha, silly girl. Are you sure there isn't any guy around you want to bring with you?_ "

Boredom settled in Historia's voice: Mikasa had never been the best one to talk about guys with and, apparently, that hadn't changed at all.

"Uh ... No. Not really." she answered, stuttering again.

_Eren._

No. There was really no one. Why did that name come to her mind and why did she feel that strange heat rising in her stomach?

Mikasa could swear that she had listened to Historia huffing reluctantly.

" _Well well. Then come alone, but I want you here. And please, please, bring your violin with you and let me listen once again to this Mario Bros theme that I like so much, ok?_ "

Mikasa smiled at the sound of her friend's laugh over the phone.

"I can liven up your wedding if you want. So you guys won't have to hire musicians," she suggested. Historia gasped.

" _Mika! That would be great! No, no, no, you're great! Fucking great, Mikasa! I'll tell Ymir the news. Bye. I'm glad to hear you again. Looking forward to see you here, ok?_ "

"Yeah, Hisu. It's okay. I'll be there."

Another laugh from the other side.

" _I love when you call me Hisu. Bye, Mika. Smack-smack._ " the girl said, making a kissing noise. The call ended, and Mikasa put the phone aside. She had also liked talking to her after all this time.

But right after their conversation, a certain name was spinning around in Mikasa's head.

Even if she was not aware of it.

 

* * *

 

 

"Eren, isn't that Mikasa?"

When Eren heard Armin's question, he immediately looked out the window, from his seat in his friend's car. Just by chance, Armin was driving down the avenue between the Arts faculty campus at Trost University to the students building. Unexpectedly, she was walking and not on her motorcycle.

"Yeah. That's her."

For some unknown and unexpected reason, Eren uttered his words with some rejoicing.

Armin turned left to get close to the sidewalk, blowing the horn. She dropped all the books she carried in her arms to the ground at the sudden noise.

"Tch ... Shit." She sighed. Eren gulped as he saw her hips when she bent down to pick up her things.

The next second, he felt a slap on his head.

"Geez! Don't stand there and go to help her!" Armin yelled. But Eren was slow to react, touching the pain spot. The blond boy got out of the car before him to help Mikasa.

"Armin!" she exclaimed. She didn't notice who was inside the car, until the boy reached one of her books with a smile on his face.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Mikasa. It's just that we stopped by, and we saw you and we wanted to say hello. I didn't mean to-"

"'We'"?

"Oh yeah. Eren's with me." Armin answered, pointing to his car. The brown-haired boy waved his hand from his place. But Mikasa's smile in response was so subtle and shy that Eren almost didn't notice it. "I think you're going to school, right? It's a bit far from here; Why aren't you riding your motorcycle?"

"Oh ... Well ... It's just that the brakes wrecked and ... I had to take it to maintenance. Though I don't mind walking."

"Well, I can drive you there, if you want. It's twenty minutes on your feet, but ten on wheels. What do you say?"

Eren began to like that blush that raised on the girl's cheeks when her lips let out that smile of hers so subtle and shy.

"It's okay..."

"Perfect. Eren, move and go to the back seat. You don't expect for the lady to go back there, will you?" Armin replied, in a mocking voice tone. Eren nodded, a little slowly, for his friend had caught him off guard; Even so, he did as he was told, and Mikasa got in the passenger seat, next to Armin. For the blond boy, it was quite a novelty to see his best friend acting with such obedience. "How are you doing with the children? Can you control them?"

Mikasa knew that Armin wanted to start a conversation. And to tell the truth, she appreciated it.

The car started running.

"Who told you about ...? Oh yeah..."

"Faye." All three concluded at the same time. Armin laughed; Eren followed him, and Mikasa's cheeks turned bright red again because of her smile.

"They are unbearable. But I guess I have no choice. I must do my best to keep them under control."

"Of course you have an option. You can always use an Avada kedavra on them." Armin said, still laughing. He had that look on his face that always seemed eerie to Eren while looking at him through the rearview mirror.

"Armin, you're a psycho," Eren protested from the back seat. The blond boy laughed. "What's this? Three Harry Potter freaks in the same place? Isn't this dangerous?"

"Not for us, but for you, buddy. You're a Gryffindor stuck right in the middle of a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin, so that's bad for you. Mikasa, tell me you like books more than movies, and we'll be best pals from now on, not like this shithead behind me."

Mikasa nodded. Eren frowned.

"Hey!" Eren said. "I don't have to be like you-"

"Don't start, Eren. Admit that you're such an airhead." Armin retorted, cutting his speech. Mikasa let out a shy and mocking sound that made Armin laugh even harder. "Let's see, let's choose a spell. First you, Eren." but Eren didn't answer. He still had a frown, looking out the window. "Come on, buddy! Don't spoil the trip, it's very short already."

And he was slow to answer, but he did it, half grumbling, half whispering.

"Expelliarmus."

Armin rolled his eyes, scowling disdainfully.

"Meh. So predictable of you. Choose one, Mikasa." Armin stopped the car at the red light while asking his question. She seemed thoughtful.

"The Cruciatus curse."

"Merlin's beard!" Armin overdid his scream on purpose. He was trying to make Mikasa laugh out loud, but that could turn out to be a hard task. Although she smiled again; Armin was really very nice. "Don't say that, I can't believe it."

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. A shit-eating grin crossed his lips, the kind Eren hated. It was the face he always did when he knew he was right, or when he strutted about something.

"Well, that's my favorite spell ..."

"Sadistic." Eren interrupted. Armin ignored him.

"I suppose more than once you wanted to use it on your students."

"Well, if that's the equivalent of hanging them until they're out of breath ... Yeah. I did." Mikasa said seriously. Armin's eyes widened in amazement, staring at her with fascination.

"Damnit. That's sadistic indeed, but I like it. What really intrigues me the most is that music doesn't calm them down. Children are usually ..." the traffic light turned green and Armin started his ride again. "Receptive to music."

"It's complicated," Mikasa explained. "Most of them are usually spoiled children, and apparently their parents leave them there so they don't have to take care of them. It's not that they're interested in their children learning, so I'm not really a teacher, but the babysitter of a bunch of rude kids. It's hard to deal with them when not everyone is like Faye."

"Faye is not exactly an angel," Eren intervened, tired of being left behind in the chat. "She's no joke."

Mikasa hid a lock of hair behind her ear. Eren followed her movements through the rearview mirror, as Armin smiled as before, catching the whole scene out of the corner of his eye.

"Well, I have no complaints about Faye. She is a lovely kid."

"That's true. But tell me, what do you do if one of these brats doesn't obey you?" Armin teased her. Eren listened to them with attention, even though he didn't care about the topic. In fact, he only wanted to hear Mikasa's answer.

"Well, sometimes I'd like to ..."

Mikasa was silent. Armin snorted.

"C'mon, say it. Sometimes it's good to let out what we feel, Mika ... Because I can call you Mika, can't I?"

"Eh? Okay, yeah. It's fine ... If you want to."

The girl seemed bewildered by Armin's statement. Armin smiled and Eren frowned. For some reason, it bothered him that Armin dared to treat her with such confidence.

"Well, now tell me: what do you wanna do?" Armin insisted, with that particular grin of him. Mikasa cleared her throat.

"Well ... I would squeeze their little bodies until their bones are dust as I look into their eyes and force them to behave."

Eren gulped. Armin didn't seem too alarmed by the girl's response, while Mikasa's face turned serious.

"And what would happen when there's not a single bone inside them? They couldn't do anything, neither bad nor good, because they can't move."

"That's the point. They could only crawl on their bellies like worms so they would save me some effort, don't you think?"

Armin let out a laugh that brought Eren out of his trance. Mikasa looked at her watch.

"Hey, you're amazing. Where have you been all this time? I have waited a lot for someone I can share my dark thoughts with, without being judged for being a PSYCHO." Armin announced, emphasizing the last word towards Eren. Mikasa smiled at him, a little flushed.

And Eren found himself being annoyed at the view of Mikasa blushing by a compliment from Armin.

"Yeah. It's the same with my best friend."

Eren hated not being able to participate in this creepy conversation. He just couldn't, it wasn't his thing.

But above all, he hated that his best friend had things in common with the most beautiful girl he had seen in ...

_What the fuck are you thinking about, Eren?_

_Why does it bother you so much?_

"Thanks, I guess," she replied, smiling subtly as she used to do, but this smile was warmer than the previous one.

Why the hell did Armin earn one of those smiles and not him?

_Because Armin wasn't the one who behaved like an asshole from the beginning, smart ass._

His conscience, his damn conscience. He had to shut it up, because it seemed to be awaken since Mikasa appeared in his life, and it kept talking to him.

A phone rang suddenly, startling them all out.

It was Eren's.

_Annie._

He didn't want to answer ... Or did he want to?

No. He didn't want to talk to Annie. He just wanted to have a reason for Mikasa to feel the same as ...

"Hi, babe." He answered, phone in his ear. There was silence. Armin shook his head, disappointed, while Mikasa seemed ...

"I'll go down here, Armin." the girl announced, somewhat uncomfortable. Was it Armin, or she was upset?

Hurt. Yes. Hurt seemed to be the right word to describe her face.

At the same time, his best friend was wasting time in a phone call with the girl who kept a secret from him.

"No. We're almost there ..." Armin replied. She shook her head, pressing her books against her chest.

"It's okay. You already did a lot for me today. I can walk from here."

"Are you sure?" Armin asked. Eren was still talking on the phone.

But he didn't stop looking at Mikasa.

She nodded. Armin stopped the car and she opened the door.

"Thanks, and ... It was good to talk to you."

"Ok. Same. Take care, ok?"

Mikasa nodded again.

"See you then, Armin," she said. And she wasn't willing to say goodbye to Eren. No. She didn't understand why she felt so angry; she only knew that she didn't want to talk to him.

She felt ... Betrayed?

Annie Leonhardt was Eren's girlfriend. Why did it bother her so much to remember?

Their eyes locked for a couple of seconds when Mikasa got out of the car.

She shut the door. Armin said goodbye, and Mikasa moved away, disappearing into the next street.

"I thought you were upset with her," Armin commented, when he saw his friend ending his call. He no longer looked as cheerful as he did when talking to Mikasa; Now he was displeased.

Eren shrugged.

"Well, not anymore." he lied. "We'll go out tonight."

Armin shook his head.

"If you want to keep playing fool, that's your damn business."

"Fuck you, Armin."

That was all. Armin couldn't stand such rudeness from his best friend, when all he did was prevent him.

The effort he made not to open his mouth against Annie was superhuman.

He stopped the car at the next corner.

"Get off, Eren."

"But what the f-?!"

"Get the fuck off."

They both stared at each other through the rearview mirror. Eren was confused; Armin, pissed.

"Fine," he replied before leaving. "Good luck flirting with Ackerman, you bastard." He said, slamming the back door shut, already out.

"What the hell...?" Armin was about to protest, but Eren had already moved away, reaching into his pocket to take out his cigar box and smoke one. Actually, Armin didn't have the intention to flirt with Mikasa; Although she was a beautiful girl, but she wasn't his type. So, annoyed, he shook his head, starting his way again.

Eren didn't know where he was going now, but it was clear that he had to get rid of the anger that was consuming him.

And all this rage had a name.

_Mikasa._

He just didn't understand why.

.

At the same time, Armin dialed Annie's number. Fortunately, she answered immediately.

" _Armin?_ "

"Knock it off, Annie. If you don't do it, I will!" he warned her, threateningly.

" _Armin, I ..."_

"You have a month. A fucking month, you hear me?" Cutting the call after his warning should be enough for Annie to act.

He wasn't going to cover her for a second longer.

 

* * *

 

 

Shiganshina was ten hours away from Trost. Well, there were only two by airplane, but it was too expensive in the summer season, and Mikasa didn't have enough money to buy an air ticket. She preferred to get her ass numb from the ten-hour train ride instead of asking Levi for a single penny. She would stay at Sasha's that weekend, with no intention of going to her brother's place, let alone seeing Kenny's face.

She didn't expect for Historia and Ymir to invite a certain group of people...

Jean Kirschtein was also there. What a pain in the neck. Why didn't Sasha tell anything to her? Well, probably because of that absurd idea she had for her to accept Jean's proposal to start dating.

Annie Leonhardt.

How uncomfortably small could this world be? Why Historia had to invite her too?

Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover ... These two gorillas who tried to kidnap Faye. Bertholdt was particularly fidgety at the moment he saw Mikasa arrive at the venue and she didn't hesitate to give them a murderous gaze; the one Sasha called "Ackerglare" and could easily make a child wet his pants. She let them know that she knew their identities, and they knew they shouldn't mess with her again.

Armin! Well, at least one familiar and pleasant face.

But that only meant one thing ...

When she turned to the right, there he was. Wearing a suit but no tie and his jacket over his shoulder, as if he didn't want to wear it. Yes, that was so Eren.

Why hadn't he cut his hair? It almost reached his shoulders. And he should also shave. Mikasa listened to Carla's daily scoldings at her son because of that awful beard and mustache, but he never listened.

And he didn't see her. He was engaged in an apparently entertaining conversation with his group of friends.

"Sasha! Mikasa!" Connie said, approaching them. The building hall was full of people; brides' relatives and friends, all of them speaking at the same time. Connie pecked Sasha on her lips to make her and Mikasa go into the hall, getting lost along Sasha in some corner of the room.

Here Jean came. Connie had been slower to call Mikasa's name than he did when turning his gaze towards her.

"Close your mouth, Jeanbo." Connie mocked. Sasha snorted. "Or you're going to flood the whole place with your drool."

Jean frowned, face burning with embarrassment. But he was right, Mikasa looked beautiful that afternoon; Of course, Sasha helped her to choose and wear that dark red dress to trace her silhouette, together with these high heels she barely could walk with. If it was up to her, she'd have attended the ceremony wearing one of her trousers and a casual shirt, nothing uncomfortable.

"Mik- Mikasa, I didn't know you would come ... I'd have brought you with me. You look really beautiful today." Jean stuttered, offering her his arm to escort her inside. She grabbed it, although she was somewhat reluctant at first.

Was it just because she saw Annie Leonhardt nearby Eren?

No.

No way. She was much more mature than that.

So why the hell she took Jean's arm?

"Thanks," she answered, going inside. At least Jean would keep her from falling with those shoes she was wearing.

"Mikasa! Mika, you're here!" Historia exclaimed from somewhere in the hall. Before Mikasa could look, the short, blond girl was already before her, wrapping her arms around her in a hug that Mikasa wasn't able to reject. "Ymir! Ymir, look who's here!" she exclaimed, waving to the freckled girl with brown hair who looked at them. Mikasa handed her a gift box before greeting Ymir, and then her eyes met Eren's gaze.

Open-mouthed, the boy slowly got up. That girl with ebony black hair, silver eyes and porcelain skin looked really stunning.

Eren stopped listening to Reiner's words.

Mikasa cut her attention from Historia's talk.

Everything was echo now, everything was getting lost in the distance.

But Eren didn't approach her, nor did she come to him.

Armin was faster, however, greeting her as soon as he could. Eren felt that growing bubbling rage again, but he didn't know if it was due to the hug that Armin gave to the girl, or if it was because Jean was leading her way, or...

_Fuck, you shouldn't care about it, Eren._

Historia looked beautiful, and even more so on her wedding day. Everyone knew it; especially Reiner, who had always been in love with her since the first day he met her, now having to endure Ymir's smugness about the fact that the little blonde now belonged to her.

But Mikasa - _at_ _Eren's eyes_ \- looked exceptionally stunning. Although he didn't want to admit it.

The turquoise-eyed boy didn't look away from the violinist during the entire ceremony, and that day he understood why Faye loved to hear her playing. Eren will never forget those subtle and delightful musical notes, caused by the friction of the bow against the strings. Truth be told, he doubted there was another human being on earth's surface capable of performing those melodies with the same grace as her.

.

"Eren, why so serious and so alone?" Historia asked, still in her wedding dress, even though the wedding ceremony had ended an hour ago, and now they were all enjoying the reception. Ymir chatted happily with Connie, Sasha and Marco Bott a few feet away from them. Near the buffet table were Reiner and Bertholdt, talking among themselves as if they didn't want to be heard; Annie had left Eren a while ago to go with Mina Carolina and Hitch Dreyse to chat at poolside. Armin held a glass of white wine in his hand while listening to Jean, who talked about something seemingly funny, while Mikasa watched him as if she had no choice.

Eren shook his head at her friend's question, taking a sip of his beer.

"Well, aside from being abandoned by my best friends ... I'm okay, Hisu."

Historia arched an eyebrow, detecting a certain nuance of sarcasm in his voice.

And she couldn't help but notice that those eyes of his were staring bitterly at the short-haired girl with the red dress on the other side of the room.

However, Historia Reiss was discreet. Unlike Ymir, who wouldn't have been slow to make fun of Eren with suggestive comments if she had noticed the same as her.

"Uh, I'm your friend, and I haven't abandoned you." the girl stated, smiling. Eren grimaced.

"I appreciate it," he replied, taking another sip.

"Take it easy, sir. Or are you planning to get drunk here?" Historia warned him, making him move the beer glass out of his mouth. "Don't spoil my wedding party, Eren."

Eren nodded. His misanthropy that night was unbearable for Armin and that was why he decided to leave with Jean and Mikasa instead of having to endure his best friend's grumbling and incomprehensible anger for the rest of the night.

"Tell me something, Historia."

"Of course. Go ahead."

Eren took a breath before speaking again.

"Where do you know her from?" he asked. Historia arched an eyebrow, somewhat confused.

"Who?"

Eren pointed to the girl with the red dress.

"Mikasa..." Historia wasn't asking, rather she was drawing conclusions in her head that she kept to herself. Eren nodded. Judging by the way her friend's eyelids fell, Historia assumed that he should have drunk more than expected, though not enough to be drunk, luckily.

"Her."

"We have known each other since junior high. She was born here, did you know?" Eren shook his head as she continued. "We were classmates, as well as Annie. But they ... never got along."

Eren was now more interested. He really wanted to know those reasons, but Annie never meant to tell him anything, and he wouldn't ask Mikasa.

Less now that, without understanding why he was still mad at her.

"I thought you knew something about that. Didn't Annie tell you?"

"Not really. It's been a while since the last time we talked about something, to be honest," he answered, taking another sip of beer. Historia took away the glass from his hands once and for all.

"Well, I guess that's none of my business and you didn't ask me how to make things up between you and Annie, but about how I met Mikasa. But I want to know something before: why are you interested in knowing that?"

Eren hesitated in his response, but he didn't let Historia see it.

"It's ... She's Faye's babysitter. And I didn't expect to see her here. It's not that we get along, anyway. I just ... I was curious."

Historia looked at him suspiciously, but said nothing of what she was thinking about it.

"Eren, you don't get along with almost anyone. That's a fact. What did you do to the poor girl? Because surely you did something to her."

Eren shrugged.

"Ask her."

"I'll do it. But not now. Although I would like to hear your version; Judging by what you say, it's not pretty at all."

"Pff. Answer me before I answer the question you asked." A waiter passed in front of them with a tray of champagne glasses, and Eren took one, moving it away from Historia before she could take it off.

The blond girl sighed.

"Well, I told you how I met her. It was at school. If you want to know something else, I think you should be more specific, Eren."

He nodded and answered without hesitation.

"Was she always like that?"

"Eh? Like what?"

"As an automaton. She's an old soul, as if a dementor sucked all happiness from her."

Historia nodded. Yes, he wasn't the first one to feel intrigued by Mikasa's personality.

"You know her parents died when she was a child, right?" the girl asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, but it's no big deal..."

"Eren, don't talk shit you don't know about. Mikasa's parents were murdered in front of her when she was twelve; since then she's not the same."

Historia's voice, despite being high-pitched, sounded quite deep now, with the clear intention of adding severity to their conversation.

Eren swallowed, realizing what he had said.

"I'm sorry..."

"No. She's more sorry; that's for sure. It was then that Mikasa changed completely; she didn't use to be like she is now. She was more ... Friendly. Nicer, if that's the right word. But she has the same big heart, even if it doesn't look like it. I think that's the result of losing your parents in such a horrible way, right?"

Eren cleared his throat.

"And what happened?"

"Nothing is clear yet. I just know that Captain Levi has still not been able to find the murderer's whereabouts, after years of searching."

"Who's Captain Levi?"

"Her older brother. He's the police chief here in Shiganshina. He was still studying at the academy when that happened, and he was away from home that night. Fortunately, he was of legal age and could take care of her, or these guys from the Social Services office would have come to take her away. Mikasa didn't have a great time, and the press was not much help either. The local news, radio stations and Shiganshina press harassed her even inside her own home, just to get information from her, so much that she had to leave school for a few months ..."

"Wait," Eren interrupted, somewhat puzzled. "Why did the press have to get into that? What happened to her parents so that it became so chaotic?"

Historia shrugged.

"Dad says he could see the crime scene, the Ackermans' throats were slit. You've never seen anything like that in Shiganshina for years. They don't understand how Mikasa is still alive, but she saw everything and she only told her brother and my dad about it when Dad was the Captain and Levi just a cadet. And probably Sasha, but Sasha will never say anything; though that's understandable, because she's her best friend."

Eren stuttered, trying to find the right words. His eyes had flooded with tears at the cruel image on his mind.

"How is it that something like this happened? Who could commit such a cold-hearted act?"

The blond girl shrugged again.

"Nobody knows. They say they were thieves who wanted to steal bank accounts together with Samuel Ackerman's family jewelry, but that's impossible, since the murderers took nothing after committing the crime. They were a wealthy family, if you ask me, and Mikasa was almost a spoiled child. The Ackermans have always been famous in Shiganshina. I think Annie hated her for that; Mikasa was good at everything, always top of the class, and Annie could never get over it. Besides ... Well, you're well aware that her father has never been the best administrator, not even when he won that lottery, a few weeks after the Ackermans' deaths; and then they moved to Trost. Annie ..."

"Annie never got along with her father," Eren commented in a low voice. Historia nodded.

"I guess that's why. The point is that they weren't murdered by thieves; whoever did it, must have a much darker reason. And that's what Levi has been trying to figure out for years, but he hasn't been able to find any clue; at least not in this city. My dad tried to help him before he retired, but he couldn't do much. It's as if ... As if he were facing the perfect killer."

Both were silent for a few seconds. The turquoise eyes met the dark-haired girl's silver gaze, but Mikasa looked away from him quickly, and Eren had to chase away the tear from his right eye.

He couldn't erase from his mind the view of a dead couple lying on the floor, while a girl stared with horror at her parent's corpses.

For a moment, he imagined that he might have been in Mikasa's place, having to see his mother and father die. Carla ...

She had always been there and he took everything for granted, believing that he would always have her with him. And Grisha; He was not the best father, but he was his father.

And Faye ...

What would become of him without hearing his little sister's high-pitched and infectious laughter?

Now he understood that even if it had been a thousand years, Mikasa had no reason to smile. That must be a deep and large wound to close so fast.

Eren's head was spinning around and he didn't know if it was because of all the information he got from Historia, or just because of all the drinks he had already drunk.

"And what happened then? Why the hell is she working as a babysitter now, coming from a wealthy family?" He asked a while later, confused. He could feel anger again, though he didn't know exactly why.

"Well, there's a black sheep in every family, and this was no exception. According to what Dad said, Mikasa's paternal uncle collected all his brother's bank accounts in his nephews' names, leaving them with nothing. He mortgaged the Ackerman's old house and Levi had to quit from police academy for a year to work and be able to maintain his sister. It was hard. Mikasa never spoke, never said anything, but her silence was enough to let me know that she wasn't having a good time."

"And ... didn't she have any other relatives? I dunno ... Someone who took care of them ..."

"They have a great-aunt in Japan, I think. Her name is Kiyomi. But I've never seen her. And Mikasa never talked much about her mother's family. Levi either. He's a quiet and grumpy guy; at school some said that the Ackerman were vampires, because they had weird family traditions and Levi's ass face never helped to get rid of rumors." Historia let out a laugh at this point, but she covered her mouth, thinking that laughing was something scandalous after telling a tragedy like that.

"Weird traditions?"

"They're Jews. Mikasa never went out to play on Friday nights and Marco and Hitch said that she and her parents were probably going to suck the children's blood."

"Oh, I get it," Eren replied, visibly affected by everything he had just heard. Unlike Historia, the attempted joke about vampires wasn't funny.

Another waiter passed in front of them with another tray of champagne glasses, and he took another one. Everything tasted bitter in his mouth now.

"You should calm down, Eren. I must remind you that you're not the kindest when you get drunk." Historia said, with a certain tone of severity in her voice. Eren waved his hand.

"I'm not going to get drunk, Hisu. This is the last one."

"Oi, oi, oi! Jaeger, the girl's mine, get yours!" Ymir's raspy voice caught their attention as they watched her approaching them, striding. Historia smiled, squinting, while Ymir pulled her arm to lift her from there and take her away.

"Hey, don't overdo it. Do I have a kidnapper's face, or what?"

"You have a psycho face and that's the same shit. Get away from my girl, Jaeger." the freckled girl replied, pointing to him with her index finger. But Eren knew that she was joking. However, he didn't have the heart to laugh.

In his mind, there would only be room for one person that night.

Mikasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we have a beautiful AruMika in progress, and don't blame me, it's just that Armin and Mikasa are beautiful as friends so I couldn't help it. Jelly Eren, please, I wanted to put that in for a long time (thanks a lot to Adriana for helping me with this scene. Adri, your works have helped me to improve a lot, trust me). And a lot of EreMikArmin in one place because my three children together are simply beautiful; and more Harry Potter, yeah. Let's say that it is one of the bases of the bond they have together, at least in my universe. Now you know what my headcanon is about the houses where EMA would have been sorted at Hogwarts, lmao.
> 
> For those who don't know how "grisly" Mikasa's mind could be, you should watch Kunren Heidan if you have not. Don't forget that she can also be a bit cruel, that is also canon. I really wanted to write about Mikasa's past. I know you now understand a couple of things better than before.
> 
> Kiyomi! xD. I also couldn't help but include her. For me, Hizul's ambassador is Mikasa's relative, so I decided to make her his great-aunt here.
> 
> For those who don't know what we Jews do on Friday night (or what we should do, because I am not observant), we celebrate Shabbat. Google it and you will understand better ;).
> 
> I thought about Ymir and Eren's scene after rewatching Junior High's first episode. I had to do it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, for your good vibes, for your reviews and understanding that I'm not a native English speaker. I'm open to corrections though. See you next chapter!


	14. Not everything is as good as you expect

"Get in the damn car now, Mikasa."

"Levi wasn't kidding. Mikasa knew it; but she wasn't willing to give in.

Just as she didn't expected her brother would find her walking through one of the Shiganshina streets while driving his police patrol, just before she arrived at the train station to return to Trost.

"Ah! Levi, let go, you're hurting me!" she yelled. Mikasa had always been strong, but Levi was stronger, so she couldn't get away from him easily.

"I said get in the damn car," he roared, his voice raspy. She clenched her jaw, looking at him fiercely.

"Fine!" the girl exclaimed, frowning. Levi released her when she came down from the sidewalk, still looking at her severely, while Mikasa's eyes remained fixed on his, full of fury.

When his sister got into the car, Levi picked up the small wheeled suitcase she was carrying and put it in the trunk.

A minute later, the captain started his vehicle, knowing Mikasa wouldn't speak the first.

"So you came to Shiganshina and you weren't going to say a single word to me?" he claimed while driving. She looked out the window, arms folded and frowning as much as she could.

There was silence. Levi waited a few seconds.

"I'll miss the train to Trost, so let me get outta here ..."

"I don't give a shit if you miss the train; you won't go anywhere. Now, answer me what I asked." More silence. Levi sighed; It had always been difficult to talk to Mikasa. "I want you to know that the longer you take to answer me, the longer it will take you to go to Trost, so speak, or you won't leave Shiganshina today, Mikasa."

"Tch." she murmured, without looking at him. "I wasn't going to say anything, just as you didn't ask me before taking Kenny to our home."

"Good Lord, give me patience." Levi sighed, clenching teeth. "Mikasa, I don't have to explain my actions to you."

"No, you don't have to, and neither do I. I've got to go now." Mikasa bent to open the passenger seat door; but Levi guessed her intentions and was faster than her, holding her arm tightly.

"You're not going anywhere, rude brat!" Levi shouted, quite pissed, locking the doors before stopping the car. "Behave as the adult and reasonable person you are supposed to be and understand once and for all nothing is as you think it is!" Levi was obviously annoyed. She was looking at him now, somewhat dazed. It had been a long, long time since the last time her older brother yelled at her like that. "The world is not only black and white, Mikasa. There are also grays, and you must mature and understand that."

He released her. She massaged her wrist to relieve the pain. Neither of them said anything for a minute; Levi snorted and hit the steering wheel.

"Family is family." he continued a while later, trying to calm himself down. "Whether you want it or not, Kenny is our uncle; he made mistakes and he paid for them, but now he's an old man who can't stand on his own and needs us, can you understand that?"

"What I can understand is that we've never been family to him, otherwise, he wouldn't have done what he did. I don't care if he made mistakes and if he already paid them or not. I want him miles away from me. He may be your uncle, but he's not mine."

"Sure. Let's do a DNA test and see if he is or not. What do you think Dad would have done with him, despite his mistakes? Think, Mikasa: do you think Samuel Ackerman would have left his brother homeless?"

Mikasa looked out the window again, while Levi waited for her response.

"No. But Kenny didn't mind leaving us with nothing," she answered in a cold voice tone. Her older brother sighed again.

"And do you think I forgot it? But I can't spend the rest of my life thinking about that, Mikasa."

Silence settled over them. Mikasa crossed her arms again.

"Great." she murmured sarcastically. Levi turned off the car engine.

"If you have something to say, say it now. Don't keep it for yourself; It's time to spit it out."

Mikasa sighed, but still didn't look at him.

"It's unbelievable. Nasty unbelievable that the best cop in Shiganshina is so naive and has let his uncle trick him; his criminal uncle who just got out of jail."

Levi put his fist to his lips and clenched his jaw. He had to cool himself down or Mikasa was going to freak him out.

"Fine. I won't try to explain a single fucking thing to you because it's useless. I think you should learn a couple of lessons before you understand that the world doesn't revolve around you, Mikasa. I'll tell you this way: Kenny stays with us, period." Levi took a breath before talking again. "I give you a couple of tips, brat: learn that not everything is how you want it to be, and learn to trust other people's decisions, no matter how absurd they may seem. If you don't have a better solution to offer, it's better to keep silent. Is it clear?"

Levi started the car again. His sister wasn't going to look at him.

"I hope your confidence in him is worth it," she muttered. Levi could barely hear her; Then he snorted.

"I don't trust him. But I have no choice. Don't take me for a fool, Mikasa; You know I'm not."

"Well, it doesn't look like it." the girl mumbled.

"What did you say?" Levi's voice became harsh and threatening again. Mikasa cleared her throat.

"I said: take me to the station. I'm two minutes from missing the train."

Levi frowned and snorted.

"I don't give a shit." He said, changing his way on the road. Mikasa noticed and leaned forward, watching the road in front of them with a gesture of unpleasant surprise.

"Levi! I'm going to miss the train!"

"And I said I don't give a shit," he replied, with this bitch resting face Mikasa hated, because it meant that she had to do what he said without the right to refuse.

"Where are you taking me to?" she demanded. He increased the speed but didn't say a word. "Levi! Where are you taking me to?!"

"Hanji wants to see you, that's for sure. Isabel and Farlan are visiting at home, and they'll be happy to see you too, no doubt. You'll also talk to Kenny ..."

"What the fuck ...? No! I won't do that!" she exclaimed, pissed, almost jumping from her seat. His older brother nodded.

"You know why you will, Mikasa? Not because Kenny deserves it, but because I'm going to teach you how to stop being a spoiled brat and let you know there are times when you have to swallow your damn pride."

"But ... Levi! No ... You know what? You're not Dad or Mom! Don't pretend to be like them and stop giving me orders!" the girl grumbled, clenching her fists until her nails were buried in her hands, making her bleed. But she wouldn't notice until a while later.

"I'm not Dad or Mom, but I raised you when they passed away. So close that shitty mouth and don't open it again the rest of the way." the captain made that face Mikasa hated again. She stared at him for a few seconds, flushed with anger. That death glare would have worked with anyone else, but not with Levi; He knew her well, and she knew him. Mikasa knew there was nothing that would make him give in.

And Levi knew that his younger sister would have burned half the world in that instant if she could.

There was nothing more to say.

Well, at least she wouldn't have to go back to Trost by train. Levi was going to pay her the plane ticket after everything that had happened.

* * *

"Eren! You're here!"

Faye's little voice was the first thing Eren heard when he opened the Jaeger's house front door. The boy dropped his suitcases when he saw her running towards him, lifting her up in his arms, while the child hugged him tightly. Eren felt an overwhelming heat in the pit of his stomach, the comforting warmth of returning home and seeing his family safe. It was the first time he felt something like that, and tears hit his eyes, but he didn't let them out.

He had had angsty nightmares after hearing about Mikasa's past, and he thought they wouldn't stop until he saw his parents and his sister again.

"Yeah yeah. Here I am, Smurfette," he replied, taking her down.

"Did you bring me something from Shiganshina? Please, say you did." Faye said, jumping on her feet. Eren wrinkled his face.

"Hey, let me in, ok? Rude brat. If you don't leave me alone, I won't give you shit ... Mom." Eren was interrupted to see Carla join them in the lobby. She smiled at her son, while the housekeeper took the boy's suitcases to his room. Eren stayed silent, unable to move from his place, recreating some scaring images in his head; then he felt a strange stinging in his eyes and a huge desire to hug her.

And he did, to Carla's surprise, who hugged him back. Her son had grown a lot, she knew it; but it wasn't until he held her tight that she knew how much he had shot up. Eren was taller now than she was, but when she looked into his eyes, she knew that he was still that boy she had given birth to almost twenty years ago. She stroked his face standing on her tiptoes so she could kiss his cheek.

Eren held his tears to smile at her with the same sweetness as when he was a child. No one could deny that this boy was the spitting image of his mother.

"And what's this? First you call me mom and then you hug me ... Well, I think today's gonna be a weird day," the woman scoffed, her hand in her mouth to hold her laugh. Eren rolled his eyes, because of Carla's gesture and because Faye was pulling his pants to force him to give her his gift. However, he couldn't stop smiling.

"Geez, is that I can't even do this one day because everyone freaks their shit out?"

"No, I'll just freak out if you don't shave that pathetic mustache and beard you're trying to grow. And cut that hair, please, Eren. If you love your mother a bit, cut your hair and watch that language." Carla pleaded, one hand on her chest and the other one on her son's face. Faye giggled.

"Mama is right, Eren. You look like a hobo." the girl said. Eren twisted his mouth.

"Ok. So I won't give you shit because of that rudeness. I told you." he replied, looking at her with haughtiness from above. Faye pouted.

"Mom! Tell him not to be mean!" she sobbed. Eren snorted, picking her up again, while Carla crossed her arms.

"Eren, what happened to you in Shiganshina? Are you coming from a wedding or some kind of spiritual retreat? What has happened to my son?"

Eren didn't answer immediately, but kissed her sister on the cheek and her mother on the forehead. Carla was surprised, but also amazed.

"Nothing. It's just that …" The boy paused, looking at his mother with a child-like tenderness that melted Carla's heart. "I love you, mom."

Carla's eyes couldn't help it but be flooded with tears. Eren kissed her again, though not as insistently as before. Actually, he felt a little strange, but he liked being able to tell his mother that he loved her; It was necessary and she deserved it.

The door opened and they saw Grisha getting in, shaking the collar of his shirt.

"God, how hot it is out there." He said. Faye came down from her brother's arms as fast as she could to get her father.

"Daddy! Eren came back, and he brought me a gift from Shiganshina but he doesn't want to give it to me." the little girl announced, now in the doctor's arms.

"Oh did he? Well, I guess you've done something that bothered him," he replied, entering the lobby. "How are you, Eren? Did you do well on your trip?"

Eren looked at Carla, bewildered. He blinked several times and parted his mouth as if he didn't know what to answer.

It had been a while since the last time Grisha Jaeger asked his son how he was, or something related to his life. So Eren's heart skipped a beat. Carla prodded him to make him react.

"Er ... Well, yeah. Historia sent you greetings, by the way. And ... to you too, mom."

"Yeah, good. Thank you." the doctor said, approaching his wife to kiss her. "I'll be in the workroom. I have some documents to check on."

Grisha got Faye down to go upstairs. Eren was still confused, unable to move from his place. His mother rubbed his back fondly.

"I think it'd be nice to try to make peace with your father too. He's in a good mood lately."

Eren stammered before speaking.

"Um ... You think I can talk about ... You know. About the bakery school with him?" he asked, shyly. Carla nodded.

"Try it. It's never too late to do so."

Carla's words had reminded him of what Mikasa had told him that weekend at the beach house. Maybe this time he could manage to make his father understand at last.

"Hey, what about my gift?" Faye sobbed, pouting again. Eren ruffled her hair before walking to the stairs.

"Go to my room and look for it in my suitcase. Let's see if this way you'll stop bothering me, midget."

"Would you really let me in?" Faye asked excitedly. Eren snorted.

"Yes. But don't touch anything else, or I'll find out if you've done it."

"Yay!" Faye jumped up and down happily, while her mother laughed as she watched her children go upstairs to the second floor. Eren felt somewhat fidgety, even fearful. But nothing could go wrong, not this time, when his father seemed willing to talk to his son like never before.

Then he knocked the workroom door, though a bit reluctantly. But his father answered. He couldn't back down anymore.

"Get in," Grisha said. Eren opened the door, poking his head in.

"Dad..." Eren cleared his throat. "Dad ... Can we talk?"

Grisha raised an eyebrow, looking over the papers in his hand. Then he nodded.

"Sure. Come in and sit down."

Eren did as he was told. An awkward silence settled over them for a couple of seconds, until Grisha left the paper on the desk and took off his glasses.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" the father asked, still looking at him, making him feel a bit overwhelmed.

How much time had passed since the last time he and Grisha spoke without arguing?

"Damnit..." the boy murmured. "It's true that I've been a brat and ... God, this is hard though," he muttered again. "Dad ... I just want you to let me show you that I can do it; I won't be a good doctor because that's not what I like. But if you let me study at the bakery school, I swear I'll be the best ..."

Grisha snorted, massaging the bridge of his nose as if he had just heard the most disappointing thing in his life. That was enough to stop Eren's speech, who knew right away that it was useless to knock that door and enter that place.

"That's why you came here for, Eren?" Grisha asked. Eren said nothing. "All right. Then I'll say for the last and thousandth time what I have said for a long time: you won't dishonor our name, Eren. You've had enough with all this time you've been wasting without doing something useful."

"Because you haven't allowed me to do so! I could do something useful if you let me do the things I'm good at!"

"Eren, this conversation will be useless until you accept that you must obey my orders. If that was all you had to say, you can leave. I have things to do." Grisha warned him, ruthlessly, igniting Eren's rage.

"What fucking century do you think you live in? Why am I supposed to obey all that crap?"

"Because I say it!" Grisha hit the desk, making the blow to be heard on the first floor. "Because you'll do what I say as long as you live in this house, understood? Because you must pay the consequences of your actions."

"Which acts? What are you talking about?" Eren exclaimed, his voice hoarse. There was silence. Eren's brows arched in a raw and painful realization. "Are you ... Are you still blaming me for what happened to Grandpa?"

Grisha didn't answer this time either. Eren felt how his inner self broke into a thousand pieces. His father didn't need to talk; his silence was just an evidence of what he had thought for years.

"Fuck. And I thought I had a father. But it's okay, you won't have to regret that anymore; You won't see my fucking face ever again."

Eren kicked the desk before leaving. When Grisha wanted to complain about it, he was already out, while Carla waited for him at the end of the corridor.

"Eren, what happened- Eren!"

Eren ignored her. He strode to his bedroom, pulling out another suitcase; He opened his closet, taking out all the clothes he could, his sister watching him, open-mouthed.

"Eren, where are you going?" Faye asked him. He didn't answer. Carla entered the room right away, widening her eyes full of fear when she saw him put the clothes in the suitcases.

"Eren, what are you doing? What happened to you guys in there?"

"... I'm getting out of here, and don't try to stop me, Carla." the boy replied a while later. His mother could see through his broken voice and she approached him, but Eren pulled away roughly.

"Eren, listen to me: I'll talk to your father. I'll do whatever it takes to fix things up, no matter what happened, but for heaven's sake, leave those suitcases there and stop this madness."

Once again, there was no response. Enraged, Eren finished his packing and walked to the door.

"No matter what you do, that won't change the fact that I'm not that man's son. So don't try, because it's pointless."

"Eren!" Faye and Carla shouted at the same time. They watched him walk away and go down the stairs that led to the lobby. But he didn't stop.

"Eren, please. Think it better." Carla insisted. Anguish was almost palpable in the woman's voice.

"Goodbye, Faye. Be good, ok?" The boy said, waving his sister's hair. Faye held his hand with tears in her eyes, but he let go. "Bye, Mom. I'll call you later."

"Eren ..." Carla said for the last time, knowing that she couldn't stop him. Eren never stopped, that wasn't his style.

"Eren, don't go ..." Faye pleaded with a broken voice. But he didn't listen.

A while later, they saw their BMW passing through that huge gate of the Jaeger residence.

Carla would have a heated argument with her husband, while Faye was going to wish Mikasa was there that day.

Eren wouldn't stop crying that day, and no one would see him, because he didn't want to be seen. He must think now where he was going to spend the night that very day.

* * *

Armin finished his milkshake and looked at his phone. It was 3 pm that Sunday and the heat were almost unbearable, so he wanted to stay a little longer under the sunshade at the café where he was.

He would have liked Eren to call him, but that wasn't going to happen; A couple of days ago he had gone to the Jaeger's to talk to him, but he only met Carla telling him that Eren left and she didn't know where she was. Reiner didn't know, not Bertholdt, let alone Annie.

Goddamnit, if Annie was responsible for anything that could happen to Eren, he was going to kill her.

He was worried, for his best friend, and also about a certain issue that didn't let him sleep in peace.

"Armin?"

A familiar voice made him look up. The black-haired girl was covering the sunlight that hit a corner of the table.

"Mikasa? Hey, I didn't expect to see you here ..." he said, smiling at her. She took off the sunglasses she was wearing.

"Can I sit here?"

"Of course," Armin answered without delay, pointing to the chair next to him. Mikasa took a seat and put a milkshake on the table. "How are you? I didn't see you since we left Shiganshina a week ago."

"Hmm." she mumbled, taking a sip of her drink. "A little busy with the summer camp classes, you know. Armin ... Are you okay?"

Mikasa had thought twice before asking that question. She didn't like to meddle in other people's business at all, but Armin was a different thing; besides, it was the first time she saw him so downcast. Definitely, that was not the Armin she was used to know.

He raised his gaze from the floor and smiled at her.

"You're quite sharp-eyed. People usually don't notice my mood swings."

Mikasa's cheeks turned quickly into a blushing mess, ashamed, her fingers reaching into her mouth.

"Um ... I ... I'm sorry. It's just that ..." she stammered. Armin giggled.

"Hey, it's fine. No need to apologize, seriously. But no, you're right. I'm worried."

"I'm ... It's because of Eren, right?" she asked shyly. Armin nodded.

"He's been missing for a week and nobody has seen him."

"I know. Mrs. Jaeger is worried too. She says that he has called, but he doesn't want to tell her where he is now."

The blond boy sighed with grief.

"He won't say shit. I know it. If I find him, it'll be only by chance."

"But ... you're his best friend. Why wouldn't he tell you where he went?"

"Because he's the biggest douchebag on earth. Because he's mad at me and I don't know why the fuck."

Mikasa frowned.

"Mad at you? Since when?"

"Since Historia and Ymir's wedding. I don't know ... He's a jerk. Sometimes I want to kill him, Mikasa; I don't know how I've been able to deal with Eren for so long."

Armin looked frustrated. She pouted sadly because she really wished she could help him.

"And what about his other friends? Have you asked them?"

"All of them. And there's no sign of that bastard. I don't even want to imagine how Carla is, or Faye."

Mikasa's mouth twisted, while Armin straightened his ponytail.

"Faye cries every day, and Mrs. Jaeger ... Well, the only reason she doesn't call the police is because she knows he's okay."

He sighed, his fist on his lips. She seemed to have forgotten about her milkshake.

"It was Grisha's fault ..." Armin commented.

"Yes. I know."

They both fell silent. This wasn't an uncomfortable one, though, but rather heavy because of sadness. Mikasa hated to admit it, but deep inside she was also worried.

Suddenly, her eyes opened wide in realization.

"Armin," she said. He looked away from his phone, which he always carried in hand, in case Eren texted or called him.

"Hmm?"

"What about his brother?"

"Who? Zeke?"

"Yes. Him. Do you have his phone number?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, if he's not with you, his best friend, nor with the others, or with ..." Mikasa swallowed as if it had been the bitterest thing. "His girlfriend, I think he can't be with anyone else but him."

Armin raised his eyebrows.

"You're right. Why didn't I think of it before? Well, it's not that Eren and Zeke are the closest brothers on earth's surface, but you're right. Eren must have come to him. I'll call him right away." Armin dialed Zeke's number, but nobody answered; then he called at the bar, in case someone was there, but he didn't get an answer either. He shook his head looking at Mikasa. "No. Nobody answers. I think I'll go in a little while. But if Eren is with Zeke, Carla won't be pleased."

It took her a while to speak again.

"I think she cares more about having him back than knowing where he is."

"Yeah. You're also right about that."

There was silence again. Mikasa was surprised to see Armin as the quiet one this time; however, she wanted to wait for him to speak again. She wasn't good at words, let alone forcing a conversation. But with Armin it was different; that boy was one of those people with whom a talk simply arose. She never had to look for it.

"Mikasa." He called her this time. She looked up.

"Yes?"

Armin took a while. He looked insecure, even sweaty; Mikasa sensed well that he was not at his best.

"This may seem stupid, even ridiculous, but ... Do you think it's good to tell someone how important is to you, even if you have no chance with that person?"

Damnit. So that was the big deal. Armin was in love.

Mikasa stuttered a bit before saying something. She'd never really thought about something like that before.

"Eh ... Um ... I guess it's better to spit things out before drowning in them ... You'll never know if land bears fruit unless you water it."

"Do you think ... that's a good idea?"

In a motherly-like impulse, Mikasa held Armin's hand warmly, looking at him the same way. Armin, in turn, was honored to have found someone like her as a friend. Mikasa didn't talk too much, but her eyes said everything; and at that moment, that kindness in her eyes while looking at him was all he needed.

"Armin."

Her voice sounded deep, almost like a scolding. Sometime later, Armin would laugh at that.

"Yes?"

"It's always better to try."

He smiled.

"Yes." He said, looking straight ahead. His eyes noticed a glow on the road, coming from a car he already knew. "Fuck! It's him!" he exclaimed, standing up. Mikasa arched an eyebrow. "It's Eren!"

Eren looked at him from his BMW, and also to Mikasa. He had a frown and a death glare. Two seconds later, the car started walking, and Armin couldn't reach him.

"Shit!" he huffed, back to the table. "What's wrong with that motherf...? I have to go after him. Mikasa, thanks for everything, ok? I think we have to come and talk more often." He said, with a smile. She nodded and watched him walk away to get into his Ford, hoping he could catch an angry and stubborn Eren. Mikasa remembered her milkshake was starting to heat up and took another sip, trying to guess why Eren was mad at Armin.

But she wouldn't think that Eren only felt jealous of his best friend for a reason.

Recently, Armin was too close to her.

.

Mikasa was right: Eren was with Zeke. But where the hell this girl who was always right, came from? Well, Armin was amazed, but that didn't fix things up between him and Eren. Granted, Eren didn't even want to talk to him; He had to ask Zeke about everything and only then he would know his best friend was living with his brother. Eren started working at his bar to save enough money and move from Zeke's. At least now Armin would be able to tell Carla where her son was, though that would just increase Eren's rage even more. After all that, he still had something to solve. This seemed to be the most hectic summer of his life.

.

Annie and he hadn't been at the breakwater for a long time. Armin set their date there, since he wanted to avoid any misunderstanding. She looked impatient, and Armin, a bit fidgety.

"He must have made that decision long ago." Annie continued. Armin shook his head.

"It has taken Eren as long as it has taken you to tell him that you will no longer be with him."

"This is different, Armin ..."

"No! It isn't. You know it isn't, Annie. What happens between Eren and his father is something he can't actually avoid; What happens to you is something that you could avoid before it was late. Better stay quiet about it."

"I'll do it. I'll tell him everything, but this isn't the right moment ..."

"Don't look for excuses. It's better to tell him now, and not when he thinks everything is fine again."

Both of them fell silent. Annie looked at the ground, while Armin threw bits of biscuit to the gulls in the water.

"Armin, why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"Eren is your best friend, but you keep covering me up ... You should have told him everything already."

Armin sighed, trying to keep the patience he was about to lose.

"Don't ask me that. You wouldn't like to know the answer."

Annie looked at him, pissed.

"That's absurd."

"No. It isn't. And please don't ask again."

"Of course it is, Armin. Tell me. I wanna know why you've been silent until now if I've been in your hands all this damn time. There must be a strong reason for you to cover me up as you have done so far and I have the right to know it."

Armin moved his leg nervously.

"No."

"Tell me, Armin." the girl insisted, watching him throw the last crumb of biscuit into the water.

"No."

They paused. Annie snorted.

"Tell me right now."

Armin clenched his fists. He grabbed her face and kissed her as effusively as he could.

It hurt, it was burning him inside, but at his eighteen, that was the best thing he had done in a long time.

Yes. At last, he felt free. Although all that freedom could be somewhat hurtful.

"Here. This is the reason. Are you happy now? Because I'm not, Annie." He said before leaving, leaving her speechless, motionless and astonished.

As stunned as he was by not believing what he had just done.

Why had he waited so long?


	15. A sensitive issue

Compared with Trost, Shiganshina was a small town. Hanji was amazed at how big was this city where she just landed, with a huge airport and luxurious shops. Mikasa noticed her slight baby bump as she saw her entering the terminal. For the youngest Ackerman, it always was a curious thing to see the height difference between her older brother and his wife: Hanji was as tall as Mikasa, while Levi was about ten centimeters shorter; So now that Hanji was pregnant, the outlook was simply amusing. They were holding hands, though that was quite unusual for an unconventional couple like them: Levi was sullen, perfectionist, straightforward, stoic (much more than his younger sister) and not at all romantic, while Hanji's permanent emotiveness and enthusiasm were misunderstood as hyperactivity, as she was taken as lunatic; however, Captain Ackerman had become a bit overprotective now that he was expecting a son, and in Mikasa's opinion, Levi freaked out when Hanji move away from him even by a few inches. But the couple wasn't alone: a tall, blond man entered the terminal behind them, and also Uncle Kenny.

Mikasa couldn't help but frown in annoyance when she saw him with them, despite knowing beforehand that he would come too.

"Hello." Levi greeted her with a slight frown, patting her on the cheek affectionately. She nodded. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes. The truck is in the parking lot, I think it's enough for everyone," Mikasa replied, with the keys in her hand. "Hi, Hanji."

Hanji had already hugged her, not noticing that her glasses roughly rubbed the girl's cheek. Mikasa patted her back before she walked away. Hanji scoffed when she saw that her young sister-in-law would never change: she didn't like hugs, just like Levi.

"Are you ok? Did you eat?" she asked.

"No. I'll do it when I'm back with Sasha-..."

"My dear niece. You look so beautiful today." Kenny's raspy voice cut Mikasa's words, and nothing could be more irritating to her. Kenny hugged her as if he wanted to suffocate her. But she didn't move, not even an inch.

"Yeah. Thank you," she said, coldly. Kenny let out an obnoxious laugh, making Mikasa grunt underneath her breath.

"What a sweet child." he mocked, taking off the hat he was wearing to put it on her head to annoy her even more. Mikasa took it away, pissed, as soon as she could. She didn't care if Levi gave her a murderous glare; Kenny got her cranky and that was inevitable.

"Mikasa. Wow, you're all grown up. Long time no see, huh?" the handsome blond man next to Levi spoke, holding out his hand to the girl. He was dressed in civilian clothes, jus as Levi. She shook his hand, relieved to be able to get away from her older brother's gaze and her annoying uncle once and for all.

"A couple of years, commander Smith," she answered, still walking towards the airport's parking lot where the van waited for them to drive them home. Several of the Ackerman's belongings had been moved from Shiganshina to Trost a couple of days before.

"I see. And how's college going? Are you still as excellent a student as in high school?"

Mikasa's smile was subtle and shy as always.

"I guess so."

"Well, I hope you don't rush too much. It's okay to enjoy youth, isn't it, Hanji?" the commander commented. The woman with glasses snorted.

"It's useless to try to convince her, Erwin. Her behavior could only compare to a noun's."

"That means you have no boyfriend yet." Erwin giggled. Mikasa shook her head.

"Not really..."

"And everything's gonna stay exactly like this. I don't want any headaches." Levi intervened, frowning. Mikasa clicked her tongue in annoyance.

"Leave her alone, Levi. It's about time." Hanji said, pulling his arm in protest. Levi grunted as he watched Erwin laugh.

"Oi, Erwin, don't give this brat any idea."

"But having a boyfriend at her age isn't bad. What is the problem, Levi?" Hanji said. commander Smith nodded.

"That's true."

"Boys her age just want one thing. And if one of them dares to touch her, I'll beat the shit out of them."

Everyone laughed, except for Levi and Mikasa. But Kenny let out an irritating and exaggerated laugh as he put his hands on his niece's shoulders, squeezing her so hard that she couldn't pull away. Kenny did it on purpose; Mikasa knew it.

"Well, I guess she's got more than one of those brats drooling, so I'm afraid we have some asses to kick, nephew." He commented, still laughing. The others fell silent. Erwin, as quite observant as he was, immediately noticed the discomfort and annoyance on the girl's face, and managed to keep her away from the old man. Erwin was Levi's best friend, and he had known Mikasa since she was a little girl, just as he knew how much it annoyed her to have her uncle close by. Nor had he agreed with Levi's decision to welcome Kenny into his home: commander Smith knew Kenny Ackerman's crime list well, and he was not a reliable person at all.

However, he and Hanji knew that Levi had his reasons to keep him nearby.

There was still some distance to get to the parking lot, when Mikasa quickened her pace to get away from her family, weary. Erwin approached her, patting her friendly on the back, taking advantage of her distance from the others. Levi hated to walk slowly, but Hanji wasn't as fast as before, so he couldn't keep up with his sister as he walked along with his wife, staying behind. Kenny, fortunately, had stopped at one of the kiosks to buy cigarettes.

"Has anyone told you how much you look like that little grumpy man back there?" Erwin asked, walking beside her. Mikasa looked up, because Commander Smith was quite tall.

"All the time." the girl replied. Erwin nodded.

"I always told your brother that you would have been an exceptional cadet."

"I like music more," she said, seriously. He smiled at her.

"I know. But an Ackerman's presence in the police is always appreciated."

"If it's an Ackerman like Kenny, I think I'd rather have him away, Commander."

Erwin laughed again, somehow bitterly. Having been Levi's friend for so many years, it still hurt a little to see how the Ackerman siblings had hidden all their pain behind a mask of impassiveness and stoicism, after their parents' deaths. Especially Mikasa; She was very young for that. And as for Levi ... Well, Levi had always been kinda bitter. It was still incredible how Hanji noticed him.

"Mikasa ... I know what happens. Levi told me a bit about it and I think you're right." Erwin said. Mikasa's tension fade away: Commander Smith had always had a certain fatherly air that reminded her of her own father. He was a very emotionally mature man, and his bushy eyebrows inspired great respect and confidence.

"Do you really believe that, sir?"

"Yes. You see, I don't trust Kenny either. Neither Hanji nor Levi. But he has his reasons to keep him close. I have always thought you're a very smart girl, and I think I'm not wrong, so you must understand that your brother has a reason to do this ..."

"And then why doesn't he explain it to me? I'm old enough to understand that as well, whatever his reasons could be."

Erwin fell silent for a moment. As he walked, he frowned, thoughtful.

"Tell me, what's the reason you didn't start a career as a police officer?" he asked. Mikasa raised an eyebrow, a little surprised. But she just answered.

"Because I like music more. I already told you, sir."

"Yes. I know that. But there's another reason, isn't it?"

He waited for the answer. She hesitated.

"Because I'm not interested in dealing with other people's problems-..."

"Because you have enough with yours, am I wrong?" he interrupted. Mikasa shook her head, somewhat reluctantly. "All right. It's the same reason why Levi doesn't explain what he's doing: he's not interested in worrying you about things you can't solve. Is that clear?"

She nodded again. However, she was frowning again, because she didn't want to ask more, even though her head was almost spinning around with a lot of questions inside. Erwin wanted to laugh: sometimes Mikasa could be as grumpy as his older brother.

"What I don't understand is why he forces me to put up with Kenny. I don't have to."

"All right. Hanji and I have talked to him about that, and we know you're right. But he says that you must mature, and there are things among you both where I can no longer intervene. I think it's up to Hanji now to convince him of that."

Mikasa was the one who looked thoughtful now. A couple of seconds later, the girl's gray eyes went to the blond man who walked beside her, with a questioning look.

"My brother sent you to talk to me, right?"

Erwin let out a laugh that made Mikasa slightly tremble: the commander's voice was deep and startling.

"You're definitely a smart girl."

Before they noticed it, they reached the parking lot. Mikasa guided them to the Toyota she had rented for the trip, so everyone got in and she started their way to Levi and Hanji's new home.

"Will you leave today, Erwin?" Levi asked, from the passenger seat. Big brother senses or not, he was a bit paranoid when Mikasa was driving.

"Yes. As soon as I introduce you to the Trost police Commander. I have things to do tomorrow."

"And you, Mikasa, will you come to live with us at last?" Hanji asked. There was a growing and obvious tension in the car that she didn't like at all, but she had to get rid of.

Mikasa took a while to answer while turning left.

"I'd rather throw myself off a cliff."

* * *

Eren kicked the bar while cleaning. He hated that; He hated having to work for his brother, he hated being away from home. He hated everything that had happened recently and, as selfish and immature as that was, he missed how his life was going a few months ago. Everything seemed fine, despite that family matter with his father, but at least he hadn't revived it; his life was easy, he had nothing to worry about and he could be an asshole without getting consequences ...

Until she appeared.

Damn her Mikasa Ackerman, because before her there were no regrets or moments when he thought it was necessary to have to reflect on his actions. For some reason, the voice of his conscience wasn't silent now; it never happened before: not with Annie, not with Reiner, not Bertholdt, not even with Armin ... Well, in fact, Armin had been the voice of an external conscience he never heard. But now everything was different. The dark-haired girl with silver-gray eyes made him rethink each one of the things he had done with his life, and if all that had been worth it.

And no. Nothing had been worth it.

At his age, he was a failure his father hated. He had been an asshole with his mother and his sister just because he had been angry for a long time without realizing it, until now. Because he had hidden all his rage under a mask of arrogance and frivolity ... Because at that moment he was asking himself over and over again who he was and what he should do.

Armin would probably tell him that he should get his thoughts straight before going crazy. But he didn't know how ... And he didn't want to do it either.

Chaos could sometimes be as comforting as it is distressing.

The bar front door opened and Eren raised his head. It was three hours left to open the place, and he thought Zeke or Pieck were coming. But no. A blond head peeked through the door.

"Godammit. I see you at last." Armin said, closing the door behind him. Eren frowned and grabbed another bottle from the shelf to continue cleaning. He had no intention of talking to Armin.

"We open at seven." He said as if addressing an outsider. "Clients are forbidden here before that time."

Armin sighed, shaking his head.

"Eren, it's been enough of this nonsense, ok? Stop behaving like a child and let's talk."

"Yes, Mr. Perfect-and-Mature, sir. Why are you here? To remind me that you always do everything better than me and that I should be as level-headed as you? No, Armin. I don't need that. Go along with Ackerman, that would be great, and keep playing the perfect couple. You are meant for each other after all."

Armin's eyes widened, completely stunned. He didn't know whether to laugh or punch his best friend in the face for drawing such a hasty and absurd conclusion.

"What the fuck ... Eren, have you been smoking weed again?"

Eren glared at him before continuing to clean.

"I haven't smoked weed for months. You know that."

"Then why so paranoid? I didn't come here to argue. I just want to talk, Eren. That's all."

"Talk about what, Armin? About my shitty life? You already know that. I left home and I won't go back because Grisha is a son of a bitch. You know that too. There is nothing more to say; nothing more to talk about."

Armin said nothing for a while. He took a seat in front of the bar, following Eren's movements with his blue eyes.

"You know you can count on me. Always. But I don't understand your latest behavior, Eren. What happens to you it's not my fault. And with regard to Mikasa ..." Armin stopped a few seconds, sensing what the matter was. "There's nothing between us. We are just friends."

"What? And why should it matter to me?" the brown-haired boy exclaimed behind the bar. He paled slightly but managed to regain his composure.

"Well, it's obvious that you feel attracted to her. Otherwise, you wouldn't be acting out."

Eren stuttered nervously before he could utter a single coherent word.

"But what the... Fuck. I don't know where you get that from. You're the one who likes her, Armin. You guys have dates. You hold hands..."

"Ekk!" Armin interrupted loudly, snapping his fingers. "It's all because of that day at the cafe, right? Eren, it's pretty obvious that you're jealous; You can deny it to everyone but me. And don't worry, because Mikasa is beautiful, but she's not my type. Though being honest, I didn't expect you to notice her either. Besides, you have Annie ..."

Annie.

Armin had to shut his fucking mouth up. He should talk to Eren, but it was too complicated.

"Annie? Annie forgot about me a thousand fucking centuries ago. And no, I don't like Ackerman." Eren lied, trying to keep a straight face. "You replaced me with her, Armin. And at my worst moment."

"Well, that sounds pretty romantic of you. But we both know well that you can't lie to me. However, I don't need to ask why you are upset with me and that's the only reason why I won't go around the Mikasa's topic, although I am a little intrigued to know how did you start to like her, if I thought you hated each other ..."

"I don't like her, Armin!" Eren yelled, hitting the bar, notoriously pissed. Armin rolled his eyes, sighing.

"Anyway ... Now that I've solved my first question, I think we should talk about something more serious, Eren. And I don't think it can wait any longer."

Eren snorted. He set the glass glasses aside and put his arms on the counter, looking at Armin.

"You're being pretty bossy today. Why? You weren't like that a few years ago."

Armin frowned slightly.

"I guess I couldn't be the same shy kid as when I was fifteen, could I?" Armin asked. Eren shook his head and gestured for him to continue. "All right. Tell me how you are first."

Eren sighed, shaking the rag in his hand. He took off his apron and put his hands to his face.

"I hate this, Armin."

There was silence. Armin rested his chin on his hand and twisted his mouth.

"Look at the positive side: now you don't depend on your father and you can do whatever you want."

"Pff." Eren snorted. "Without money, it's impossible to do shit. And living with Zeke also sucks; I don't have confidence there, and his girlfriend is a weirdo. But I don't have enough cash to move to another place."

"Well ... You know you can move into my house. Dad and mom are almost never there, and Grandpa won't be upset at all; you know that."

Eren nodded.

"I'll think about it. What was that you wanted to talk to me about?"

Armin took a breath and Eren looked at him, somewhat suspicious, for his best friend seemed a little anxious now. He hadn't seen him so restless for a long time. Armin used to sweat more than necessary if something bothered him, and although Eren wasn't the most observant guy, that was a feature in his best friend that he couldn't ignore.

"Well ... I know you saw me with Mikasa that day at the cafe, but it's not because we're dating, or anything like that. She ... was giving me advice me about something."

"Eh? What the fuck, Armin? Now you ask her for advice? Geez!" Eren grumbled, his voice husky. Armin hit the bar.

"Damnit, Eren. Are you going to let me finish or not? It's better when you don't interrupt me."

Eren grimaced in annoyance, telling him to continue with a wave while he went back to his chores.

"Spit it out."

Armin breathed as much as he could. Eren had all the right to feel upset after his friend stopped talking.

"It has something to do with An- ..."

The door opened at that moment. A dark-haired and short young woman entered the nightclub, turning on the headlights.

"Hello, Eren. Are you done? Zeke wants you to be in charge of the cash register today." Pieck said, keeping the keys in her wallet. Armin cursed underneath his breath, while Eren nodded, looking at his older brother's girlfriend.

"Ok. Anything else?"

"No. Not really." The girl's gaze went to Armin. "Hello, blondie. I haven't seen you in a while."

"Hi, Pieck," Armin replied, standing up. Then he patted his best friend on the shoulder. "You have things to do, buddy. We can talk later. Bye, Pieck." He said, leaving the place. Armin had been about to talk to Eren about the Annie thing and Pieck's interruption had been a bit annoying.

But deep down, he was relieved that he didn't have to touch on that subject.

Maybe it wasn't the right time.

* * *

"Carla Jaeger; Nice to meet you."

Carla shook Levi's hand with a smile, and then Hanji's. The summer was almost over. The Ackermans had gone to the mall to buy baby stuff, while Carla had taken Faye and Mikasa with her to buy the school supplies for the next school year. There they met. Mikasa tried to avoid them, but Levi didn't miss a chance to meet his sister's employer as soon as he saw her.

"Jaeger?" the captain asked. "I've heard that name before." He said, frowning as he tried to remember. "Anyway, nice to meet you too, ma'am."

"Mikasa has told us a lot about Faye, but I see that she is more beautiful than what she said, aren't you, pretty girl?" Hanji said, smiling at the brown haired girl with braids. Faye also smiled, all blushing."

"Thank you," the girl answered, shyly. She couldn't take her eyes off Levi, because he seemed the most frightening man she had ever seen, so she hid behind Mikasa to avoid his glare. Levi didn't notice because he was still trying to remember where he had heard that name before.

"Well, I think we should go now. I have to work tonight and I don't have much time left. I hope you are pleased with my sister's work, Mrs. Jaeger." Levi commented. The woman nodded immediately.

"You must be proud of her, captain," Carla replied, with one of her warm smiles. Levi looked at his younger sister and gave her a weak but genuine smile. The Ackerman brothers hadn't had a toothy smile for a long time, but they knew how to recognize each other's affectionate gestures.

But Mikasa didn't smile back when Levi's hand ruffled her hair.

"I am. If you need help from the police department sometime, Ms. Jaeger, ask to be contacted directly with me, okay? The weaknesses I found in the Shiganshina Police are somewhat ... unpleasant." Levi commented, slightly pissed.

"Well, thank heavens we have you here now. I don't doubt that you will do a good job, Captain. And be welcome, by the way."

"I look forward to that as well. Thanks, and have a nice day; and you too, Faye." the captain said, now ruffling the girl's hair. Mikasa was sure that Hanji's pregnancy had made him a little less insensitive, and she didn't even want to think what would become of him when the baby was born.

"Thank you." Carla and Faye replied. Hanji also said goodbye to both of them, while Levi asked his younger sister to go to dinner with him the next day. He needed to talk to her about a couple of things. The Ackermans continued on their way, as Carla and the girls did, until they stopped in front of a music store that caught Faye's attention.

"Look, Mikasa! Here's a violin! You told me that yours is already old and its sound's not the same, so you can buy this one." the girl exclaimed, pointing to the instrument, completely excited. Mikasa nodded and looked at the price ...

Nothing within her reach.

"Yeah. But not today, Faye. Now let's go, ok?" she said. Carla could see the discouragement in the girl's voice, so she also took a look at the violin in the display case, without saying a word about it.

"Girls, do you want something to eat? I think we have walked a lot, so we could go to a McDonalds before going home."

"Yes, please, Mommy. I'm hungry. You too, right, Mikasa?" Faye said, without wanting to exclude her nanny from anything. Mikasa nodded, taking her hand to push her away from the shop window. Carla pulled out the car keys as they approached the exit.

"All right. Here, Mikasa; wait for me in the car while I buy something there ..."

"Oh don't worry, Carla. I can go."

"Ah, It's okay then." The woman took some cash out of her wallet, handing them to the girl. "Here. Buy whatever you want and keep the change."

"But..."

"No buts. Go." Carla said, winking at her. Faye giggled.

"Ay, that's bad. Mom just does that with Eren and me, but that also means she's going to start scolding you too." Faye mentioned, covering her mouth. Carla laughed.

"That's possible. Come on, Mikasa. We'll wait for you in the car, okay?"

Mikasa nodded, somewhat bewildered, taking the escalators that led to the food court. She walked a distance until reaching McDonald's, so she ordered her menu and waited until it was ready. On her way leaving, her eyes saw a familiar face in one of the corners. But she didn't stop walking until the shock caused her to stop.

Annie Leonhardt

Necking ...

With this dark-haired, titan-sized guy who once tried to kidnap Faye, and who was supposedly Eren's friend.

Unconsciously, she stared at them for so long that she didn't notice the moment they realized her presence. Shocked and slightly open-mouthed, Mikasa shook her head trying to walk away before Annie could reach her.

"Shit ... Ackerman ..." she called, running toward her. Mikasa didn't stop. "Ackerman!" Mikasa shook her arm to free herself from the blonde girl's hand behind her. But Annie wasn't going to let her go; She looked nervous like never before. "What you saw is not-..."

"What I saw is none of my business, Leonhardt. You don't have to beg me not to open my mouth because it's none of my business."

"Damn it ... I'll talk to Eren. I will tell him everything ..."

"I said it's none of my fucking business. You don't have to explain shit to me." Mikasa replied, glaring at her before leaving. Annie stood there, worried, thinking that perhaps her former classmate might have lied to her. But to be honest, there was little she could do now.

Then she saw the black-haired girl step back, looking at her with those liquid steel-ish gray eyes of her, full of anger.

"Get your shit straight, Leonhardt. He doesn't deserve this," she said and left, before Annie could say anything else.

Annie went back with Bertholdt, not knowing what the hell she would do now.

Mikasa walked to Carla's car, who was already waiting outside the mall.

What the fuck had she said? Where did all that crap about Eren not deserving it come from? And the most important question: why did she feel some relief at seeing Annie with another person?

Eren had been a douchebag, and when she thought things would change between them, he behaved like an asshole again. And she was confused, because she wanted to talk to him, and at the same time, she didn't. And there was a beating desire inside her to see him again and know how he was, and ...

Why was she so confused?

"Mikasa, are you okay?" Carla asked as she got in the back seat of the car with Faye, taking care not to spill anything on the seats.

"Eh?"

"Are you okay, darling?..."

"Ah ... Um ... Yes, yes. I am sorry, ma'am..."

Carla looked at her suspiciously through the rearview mirror. Her mother's instinct told her that something wasn't right with the girl, but she wasn't going to ask anything else.

"All right. Leave the box meal in the trunk. Nothing will happen there, so you won't have to carry them all the way back."

Mikasa nodded and did as she was told. Carla started the car again, a little worried about her daughter's babysitter. The girl took her phone out of her pocket and searched for Armin's name to message him. Faye had said something, but she didn't know what it was.

M:  _Armin._  She wrote. The answer was immediate.

A:  _Mika, are you alright?_  Armin texted from the other side.

M:  _Can we meet today at the cafe? Right before 7._

A:  _Is everything all right?_

M:  _No. I have to tell you about something I just saw._

A:  _Hmm. It's okay. I hope nothing bad happened to u ..._

M:  _No. It has nothing to do with me._

There was a pause, but Armin was still online. Mikasa waited.

A:  _Does it have to do with Eren?_

Another pause.

M:  _6:30 is fine?_

A:  _Yeah. 6:30._

M:  _Ok. See you there._

Mikasa put her phone in her pocket and looked out the window, somewhat absent-minded. Faye and Carla were chatting, but she didn't notice, nor did she notice that Carla didn't stop looking at her with concern through the rearview mirror during the whole journey.


	16. They say opposites attract

"So ... are you in love with Annie Leonhardt?"

For Armin, Mikasa's words hammered hard in his head. The late summer breeze ruffled their hairs, there where they were in the usual cafe. The blond boy nodded sadly, unable to meet her eyes.

"Since the first time I saw her."

Neither of them said anything for a moment. Armin was downcast and Mikasa looked absorbed.

"Why didn't you ever tell her?"

Armin stuttered a little before answering.

"... Because she'd never have noticed someone like me. And I thought she was into Eren, but ..." he fell silent. He didn't want to say it; he didn't want to talk shit about Annie despite all.

Mikasa sighed.

"We must tell him. Eren doesn't ... It's not fair …" She cleared her throat before continuing. She really didn't know how to express what she felt, because truth be told, she didn't understand it. "He must know. "she said at last, crossing her arms. Armin looked askance at her, knowingly, slightly stretching his lips with a shit-eating grin. But Mikasa didn't notice it; however, he didn't want to embarrass her.

"I tried to do it last week, but his sister-in-law interrupted us, and I haven't seen him again after that. He says he's very busy."

Mikasa said nothing. Armin looked at her closely and noticed that she had frowned again, as when she was thoughtful.

"Did he ever apologize to you, Mikasa?"

"Eh?"

"I mean, did Eren apologized to you after all the stupid things he did?"

Mikasa felt the blood rising to her cheeks and she didn't know why.

"Eh ... Something like that. Yes, yes, he did it."

"Are you sure?"

"Well ... We had a conversation a few months ago, at the beginning of the summer, at the Jaeger's beach house..."

"Oh did you? And what did you guys talk about?"

As observant as she was, Mikasa didn't realize that Armin slightly wanted to tease her.

"About his parents ... I realized that ... Eren is not as stupid as he seemed to be."

This time, Armin smiled, kinda smug.

"I told you, didn't I?"

Mikasa nodded, somewhat embarrassed. The blond boy smiled again.

"But ... he's behaving just like before, again, and I don't understand why."

 _"Becauseheisjealousofme_." Armin mumbled, coughing, as if it were a single word. Mikasa didn't quite understand what he said.

"What? Are you okay, Armin?"

"Yeah, Yeah. I'm fine," he replied, pretending to recover from his fake cough.

"What did you say?"

"I said that's normal for him. Especially after everything that has happened to him. However, I insist: he must apologize to you, Mikasa. The way he behaved when he met you, and the kidnapping attempt on Faye ... It's the most despicable shit Eren has done in his life. I think he deserved a beating from you when you found out. I wouldn't disagree with you; and if you wanted to beat the shit outta him now, I wouldn't even try to stop you."

Mikasa thought Armin was joking, but no. He was serious, slightly frowning.

"Well, the night I knew it was the same night he had that accident ... We had argued about it and then ... You know, he got run over. I think that was his ... punishment, right?" she said in a low voice. The boy shook his head.

"Even so, he was a complete douchebag. I've always tried to bring him into senses, Mikasa. But Eren is stubborn and needs someone to teach him a lesson. If he didn't apologize to you, then I ..."

"He did it, Armin." she interrupted him, tilting her head. "He did it. In fact, that was the first civilized conversation we had."

Armin chuckled.

"In Eren's case, it's impossible to believe that. Unless you exerted some kind of mystical force on him to achieve that." Armin said, joking again, half serious, half mocking. He wanted to tease her badly, but Mikasa's cheeks were all bright red.

"Eh? Armin..."

"I'm just kidding. But to be honest, a civilized conversation with Eren Jaeger is a utopia."

Mikasa tilted her head again, as if she wanted to hide from Armin Arlert's knowing glance. He shook his head as he laughed up his sleeve about his friend's awkwardness. Then he sighed.

"So ... will you tell Eren what we know about Annie?" she asked a while later. Armin nodded.

"I have to do it. This can't go on like this."

Mikasa gasped in agreement, shivering a bit in the blowing breeze that announced the fall arrival.

"And ... what if it hurts him? What if...?" she commented as she saw Armin shaking his head again.

"He won't be hurt."

"How do you know that?"

For Armin, it was curious to see Mikasa's concern about what Eren might feel. As well as it had been interesting to see his best friend's subtle and elusive jealousy a few days ago.

That's just why he knew all this Annie's issue wouldn't be a big deal then.

Or so he believed.

"I just know it."

* * *

Mikasa and Sasha set the table when Hanji announced the dinner was ready. Everyone took a seat while Hanji served the meal with a huge smile; Apparently, she was the happiest with that family reunion, but the others didn't complain either. Levi was satisfied with his sister's presence; Mikasa didn't mind it: Kenny wasn't there (though that was the reason why she agreed to visit her older brother, because her uncle wouldn't be there to annoy her) and she hadn't had dinner with her family for a long time. As for Sasha, well, she had already returned from Shiganshina, and they never had to tell her twice when it came to food, so when Hanji called to invite them, she was the first to say yes. And there were the four of them, talking nicely as they ate.

"Do you know what's the baby's sex already?" Sasha asked, taking a spoonful of mashed potatoes. Hanji shook her head.

"We'll wait until the birth. Levi didn't want the doctor to tell us, but we would like it to be a girl. What about you guys, are you ready to go back to school?" she asked, looking at the girls over her glasses. Mikasa nodded with serenity, as Sasha pouted to show her disagreement.

"I'm not. It gives me shivers to know that I have to go back. I'd like to be like Mikasa, though, as nerdy as her, but I can't." said the brown-haired girl, faking a sob without stopping to eat. Hanji laughed and Levi muttered something that no one could hear.

"I'm not a nerd," Mikasa said, frowning. Sasha and Hanji laughed, as Levi let out one of these cold smirks of his.

"Yes, you are. That's why you have a scholarship." said the captain, taking a sip of juice. His younger sister glared at him.

"Says who? The clean freak cop?" Mikasa said. Hanji and Sasha snorted, holding a laugh. Levi scowled.

"Tch. It doesn't change the fact that Sasha is right ..."

Levi tried to continue scolding her and Mikasa wanted to answer back, but Hanji, as well as she knew them, preferred to break beforehand the war that was about to be triggered at the table.

"Oi, Mikasa, speaking of the devil, did the children treat you well at the summer camp? Did you follow my advices?"

"Eh ..." the girl said, off-guard. "Yeah, but it didn't help much, though."

"Why? Did they behave that bad?"

Mikasa swallowed the food in her mouth and nodded, somewhat upset.

"Pretty bad. They were unbearable ... Spoiled and disgusting children."

"Well, Let's hope not all of Trost's children are like that." Hanji intervened again, wrinkling her face a little. "It can be hard to deal with them while pregnant when I start working again."

"So did they approve the contract you were waiting for?" Mikasa asked, before nudging Sasha to make her control herself a bit as she took another steak from the tray.

"Yes, I was hired at Fritz Elementary. It's a private school."

"Yeah, I know. That's where Faye studies." Mikasa commented. Her plate was almost finished and Levi knew why she had eaten faster than usual: Hanji had made pudding for dessert, and there was nothing that Mikasa enjoyed more than a good piece of pudding. That was one of the few things that made his younger sister's eyes shine.

"Faye? The kid you babysit?" Mikasa nodded at Hanji's question. "Oh, wow. Such a small world. So I'll be her teacher. I just hope she behaves well."

"Yes. Don't worry about it. Faye is a calm child. She has never given me any trouble at all."

"Unlike her older brother, who tried to make your life miserable from the very beginning." Sasha intervened before swallowing her mouthful. Mikasa opened her eyes wide, unable to believe what she had just heard. She glared at her best friend, threatening, but she knew that Sasha wasn't willing to close her mouth.

"What did you say, Sasha?" Levi's voice rose harshly, letting Mikasa know that there was nothing she could do to prevent Sasha from finishing whatever the hell she was willing to say.

"Sasha, shut up ..." Mikasa mouthed, right before a hell broke loose. She had to do something; she had to make her shut her damn mouth up. But nothing worked, not even when she kicked her calf under the table.

And she did it. Sasha told Levi how Eren and Mikasa met, and about Faye's attempted kidnapping, the one Eren planned and Mikasa successfully thwarted, and even told him about the times when Mikasa and he had argued.

Levi could be pretty quiet, but his younger sister knew exactly what was going on in his mind at that moment.

"What's that brat's name, Sasha?" Levi asked again, fully aware of the murderous glare Mikasa gave Sasha for having opened her mouth, and how pissed and worried she was. Sasha sweated cold (though she wasn't going to shut up); Mikasa wanted to kill Sasha, and Levi kept a very dangerous expression of impassivity in his face. That was the whole scene. And Hanji thought it was hilarious, but she knew she couldn't laugh, or that would only make things worse.

For Levi Ackerman, that guy was one of the nastiest human beings he had ever heard about.

Sasha was nervous now because she knew that she had got into trouble with her best friend; but it was worth it: Eren deserved a beating. Because all these times that Mikasa punched him weren't enough.

"Eren ... Ow!" Another calf kick, but that didn't stop her. "Eren Jaeger."

Levi pushed his plate away. He no longer had an appetite; he wouldn't forget that kid's name.

"Mikasa, do you have something to say about it?"

"...No." the raven-haired girl responded, pretending that nothing had happened.

"No?" Levi said, throwing a napkin on the table. "I think I should be more specific with my question: why didn't you tell me about that?"

"Because it wasn't necessary," Mikasa replied, looking everywhere but at her brother. "I did what I had to do."

"Hmm. I see. So you're still working in the same place where this brat lives; the same fucker who tried to kidnap his sister to annoy you, just because you hurt his pride?"

"He no longer lives in that place. He left. I have nothing to worry about and you won't tell me to stop working there because I won't do it."

Levi sighed. As seemingly calm as he looked, he poured a cup of tea and took a sip, holding the cup from the top as he used to do.

"I know I can't. I can't tie you or lock you up, that's for sure."

Mikasa swallowed. She knew there was a "but" after that phrase; however, he decided not to say anything else, and his silence wasn't reassuring at all. She knew him well, Levi was like her: if he didn't answer back, it was because he was up to something.

The captain took his phone out of his pocket to reply the message he received from the police station and put it back. Hanji looked at both of them and twisted her mouth in disapproval; if stares could kill, her husband would have been turned into ashes, thanks to Mikasa. And there was only one way to calm her down, even just for a while.

"Well, let's stop arguing. Mikasa, I'm glad you gave that boy his lesson. Do you want some pudding? I did it especially for you."

 _Touché._  Mikasa wouldn't have been able to resist that offer even if she wanted to. She blinked several times, trying to focus on Hanji's offer. Then she nodded.

"Hey, are you gonna eat that?" Sasha asked, pointing to the piece of steak her friend left on her plate. Mikasa stuck her fork in it and held it up, as if she was about to give it to her, making Sasha's eyes sparkle in bliss. But all she did was put it in her mouth to eat, staring at her brown-haired friend while she pouted, disappointed. Hanji returned with the dessert, but Levi was the only one who didn't eat; He kept a straight face while he texted one of his subordinates in search of information.

"I'm leaving," Mikasa said a while later. "It'll be late."

"I hope you liked dinner, girls," Hanji said. Mikasa nodded as did Sasha, although the brunette was a little more enthusiastic, as usual. Levi put down the phone and stood up to say goodbye. The four walked towards the door; Hanji hugged the girls as her husband ruffled their hairs, even though Mikasa tried to dodge it. But she didn't succeed. When they were out, the captain's younger sister turned back; she wasn't able to restrain herself from asking, as worried as she was after all.

"Levi, promise you won't do shit ..." she said in a low voice. She didn't look pleading nor sassy. That was rather a tentative request with low expectations.

"Tch," Levi complained, frowning. "Now leave. You guys have school tomorrow."

As Mikasa expected, Levi wasn't going to say a single word about Eren's matter. But she had to try.

The girl took her motorcycle keys and turned it on, while Levi and Hanji went back into the house.

"Oi! Mikasa!" Sasha yelled. She had been so distracted messaging Connie that she didn't notice the moment when her friend started her bike. However, Mikasa was riding a slow pace; because her intention wasn't to leave her behind, but she wanted to make her run a little. "Mikasa!"

The bike stopped two corners later. Sasha came to her, panting.

"Hey, were you planning to leave me out here?"

"I should, though," Mikasa answered coldly, handing her the helmet. Sasha took it and put it on before going up.

"Don't be so mean. Your brother deserved to know. That Eren has caused you a lot of trouble already and you haven't done anything about it."

Mikasa started her motorbike again. Sasha had to grab her friend's waist to keep from falling.

"If Levi kills him, it will be all your fault, Sasha."

Judging by Mikasa's tone of voice, Sasha knew that it was better not to say more. But she couldn't help wondering why her best friend cared so much about that nasty boy.

Unless...

* * *

With all that rage inside him, Eren could have knocked down a mountain in one fell swoop. He didn't blame Armin, no. No way. Armin had always been wise and sharp-minded, and Eren understood the reasons why he remained silent for all those months. Unexpectedly, he wasn't even hurt by Annie's absence in his life; In fact, he hadn't thought about her for several weeks. It was all about this betrayal from her and those he considered his friends. They could have been honest with him, just as Armin was when he told him that he had been in love with Annie for a long time, and that was why he refrained himself from telling him. But they were traitors and accomplices. Bertholdt and Annie had an affair, and Reiner covered them up for a long time. Eren was fuming: blood boiling in his veins and he didn't know how long he could put up with it.

"I'm leaving, Armin." He announced, taking his BMW's keys. Armin opened his eyes wide, fearing what would happen next.

"Eren, you promised you wouldn't do anything about it ..."

"I won't." he lied. But Armin knew him, despite how good liar Eren was. Besides, he and Carla had a way of recognizing when Eren was lying: his ears reddened, just as they did at that moment.

"Eren, don't make me call your mother ..."

"My mother? And what does Carla have to do with this?" he asked, walking toward the door. No matter how much his friend tried to stop him, it was useless; Eren had always been physically stronger than him. He looked calm, but he wasn't.

"She's the only one you'll listen to, and if you don't, she'll pick you up at Reiner's and pull you out of there by pulling your ear. Is that what you want?"

"I'm not going to Reiner's ..."

"Don't lie to me, you moron. You think I'm stupid?"

Eren stopped for a moment, looking at him. Then he shook his head while opening the door.

"See you later, Armin." He said, leaving. Armin must do something; an angry Eren was never a level-headed Eren. He couldn't call Carla or she would worry too much; neither to Grisha, because he didn't care about his son. Calling the police was the same as putting Eren in big trouble, leaving him unable to escape from it.

He only thought about one person. The only one strong enough to keep Reiner from smashing Eren if they both decided to start a fight, which was most likely. Reiner had always been stronger than them: he managed his mother's gym and work out every day, and until then, only one person had managed to knock him down.

" _Hello, Armin,_ " they answered from the other side. He was really glad that she had answered the call.

"Hi, Mikasa. Are you busy?"

" _Not really. I'm leaving school right now. You need something?"_

Armin hesitated, but he answered a few seconds later. Did he have the right to include Mikasa in a fight she wasn't guilty of?

But only she could help him.

"Eren is in trouble, and you're the only one who can help me." He said, his voice concerned. Armin could hear the moment Mikasa turned her bike on; but she took her moment to answer as if she had to accept what she had just heard.

" _What kind of_ _troubles_ _?"_

"Hmm ... Could you come first? I'll explain it to you when you arrive ..."

Another pause.

" _Are you home?"_

"Yeah."

" _All right. Give me the address. I'll_ _be there."_

The Arlert residence was located in the Stohess suburbs, in northern Trost, as well as Eren's. So Mikasa didn't take long to get there, because the university campus was a few minutes away.

She honked the horn when she arrived and Armin met her, after telling his grandfather that he would be out for a while.

"He went to Reiner's. I tried to stop him, but he ignored me," he said. Mikasa didn't take off her helmet just to save time.

"So you did tell him everything?"

"I left nothing out. They're going to fight, that's for sure. But he won't come out unharmed, because Reiner is stronger. Eren is angry, and he doesn't think straight when that happens."

Mikasa rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Yeah, tell me about it. C'mon, get up and take me there."

Armin nodded and got on the Kawasaki Ninja 300 Mikasa drove with such ability. She was driving fast, but it was safe: at least they didn't run the risk of crashing into something, just like the last time he got on a motorcycle while Eren was driving, a couple of years ago. He looked forward to arrive on time, before all hell broke loose.

.

"You! I wanted to see your damn face, you son of a bitch!"

Eren ran to the black-haired boy as he got out of his car. For him, it would be like killing two birds with one stone, for it was Bertholdt who actually owed him an explanation. But Reiner had covered them up; he also had to pay. It was lucky for him that Reiner's best friend was there at his house too.

"Eren! What is it..."

A punch in the face knocked Bertholdt down. Eren didn't give him time to react and neither would he; such was his rage that all he wanted was to beat him into a walking mass of flesh and blood.

"You damn lackey! I expected it from anyone, less from you, less from you!" Eren cried, clenching his teeth as he hit him. He was going to say something else, but Reiner left the house when he heard the hubbub in the street. It was almost night, but that hadn't stopped a few curious people from crowding nearby to watch the fight at a safe distance.

"Bertholdt, what the ... Hey, Eren! What the hell you think you're doing?" the blond guy yelled, hurrying to get him away from his best friend, who was still struggling to cover himself from Eren's blows. Bertholdt was on the floor, his face bathed in blood, just as Eren's fists.

"Let go of me, you wretch!" Eren replied, turning to him to punch him too.

"Eren, calm down, what are you talking about? Why do you talk like that?" Reiner was strong, yes, but Eren knew how to fight hand to hand and it wasn't easy to stop him.

"You think this is a motherfucking game?" he asked, her voice hoarse, wrapped in anger. "I trusted you, you were like my brothers and look at how you guys repay me!"

Reiner tried to hold him until he managed to hit him, knocking him down. But that didn't stop Eren, who got up again with bleeding mouth, and lashed out against him, beating the breath out of him.

"Eren! Stop! I don't understand what the fuck you are talking about!"

"You don't get it?" another punch. "I'll explain it to you, you son of a bitch: that bastard who is there on the floor was banging Annie while she pretended to be my girlfriend and you pretended to be my friends, and you covered them both! That makes you even worse, you traitor! You fucking bastard!" Eren didn't care if he spat at Reiner while screaming. He had no time to care about it. He punched his ribs again, but when Bertholdt was able to get up, he felt himself being pushed away from Reiner by a violent shove, knocking him off balance.

"Get out, Eren. Fuck off..."

But Eren didn't listen. He screamed again, running towards them. Eren head-butted Bertholdt in the mouth, making him lose a lower incisor in the crash. Punches, knees, socks on their jaws; everything was confusing. One of the onlookers called to the closest police squad, but the three fighters were too busy to worry about it. Bertholdt managed to restrain Eren, allowing Reiner to hit him harder.

"Traitors! Bastards!" A blow to the trachea beat the air out of Eren, whose turquoise eyes stared at his opponents with a hellish rage. Reiner beat hard, but he didn't think to give up even if he killed him.

"You should shut up, Eren!" Reiner exclaimed, as he threw his fist to his stomach. "How pathetic of you to come here for this. But of course, what could be expected from someone like you ..."

"People like you make me sick." the green-eyed boy yelled. He spat blood while trying to get free. He was going to say something else, but Bertholdt covered his mouth.

"Just as you made Annie felt. You're an asshole, Eren. You didn't even pay attention to her, unlike Bertholdt, who was always there for her. You are so selfish that you don't even realize what is around you, much less what she felt. You are a thoughtless and heartless bastard who doesn't know how to treat women. You didn't deserve someone like Annie at all."

Another punch but Eren didn't know what had hurt more, if Reiner's fist on his lower belly, or what he had just said.

Selfish, thoughtless and heartless.

Was he really like that?

That's when he gave up and stopped fighting.

But an unexpected force knocked Reiner down with a single brutal stroke.

"Mikasa!" Armin yelled when he saw her running towards the blond tall guy. But he couldn't help it anymore. The girl had made Reiner fall to his knees on the sidewalk and applied on him a choke hold. She never thought that the amusement park scene would repeat itself, much less with the same people involved; but there she was now, no longer protecting Faye, but someone who she still didn't know well why she wanted to protect.

"Mikasa?" Eren said open-mouthed, watching her movements, while Reiner managed to get free. He pushed her hard, because he wasn't willing to lose against a girl like the last time; but unbelievably, Mikasa was stronger and, being a third degree black belt in martial arts, she made him lost his balance by kicking his leg, until she wrapped her right arm around his neck, so fast that was almost impossible to believe. In a subtle and premeditated way, she dislocated Reiner's left arm, making him to scream painfully. Reiner could be good in hand-to-hand combat, but he never imagined that a girl like that could knock him down a second time.

This time he couldn't move. The pain wasn't going to leave him. Again; she would send him to the hospital again.

Eren was open-mouthed and hurt, though, staring at her in disbelief, blinking repeatedly.

"You again ..." Bertholdt stammered when he saw her.

"Let him go." Mikasa bellowed with a threatening voice and a glare that would have burned half the world. However, Bertholdt had decided not to run away this time.

"Not without teaching this asshole a lesson ..." the dark-haired boy released Eren, not to let him go, but to kick him in the back that made him stagger and fall to the floor like a puppet. Bertholdt wasn't strong, nor did he know how to fight, but he was tall and athletic enough to fight back. Mikasa was going to give him the beating of his life. Bertholdt leaned forward, ready to answer; He didn't care if she was a girl or not, he was going to knock her down.

"Leave it to me!" Eren shouted, ready to go back and give Bertholdt the beating of his life. No. He couldn't let her protect him; he had to get up by himself and beat the shit out of that traitor, and it wasn't logical for a girl to be stronger than him. Eren was proud, hot-headed, and there were only two things in his head at that moment: to také revenge on the traitors and prevent Mikasa from taking part in the fight, or that would have hurt his pride once more.

So he threw himself at the boy in front of him, ready to take the knife that Bertholdt took out of his pocket in a blink of an eye. They struggled for a few seconds and Eren tried to stab him after grabbing the knife, but Mikasa couldn't allow it. If Eren killed him, he would go to jail. She grabbed his right arm and he managed to break free, zigzagging with his hand. When Mikasa tried to dodge it, it was too late: he had cut her deep in the right cheek.

But Eren was too busy to notice what he had just done.

Armin called her name, but she didn't hear him. The blond boy, tired of feeling useless, went after Bertholdt to hold him. But Bertholdt pushed him hard toward the sidewalk and Armin fell on his back, hitting his head. It made Mikasa lost her temper: nobody dared to touch her friends and lived to tell about it. She didn't care about the wound anymore, nor did she was bleeding. So she approached quickly to grab him by the neck and make him kneel so she could beat the shit out of him, leaving him breathless, using his own weight against himself to lift him and throw him on Reiner, right before he could get on his feet again. They heard the screaming sirens of a police patrol, and both ran away, entering quickly into Reiner's house, while Eren kept spitting until there wasn't a drop of blood in his mouth left, and Armin helped him to get up without recovering from his blow to the head.

"Mikasa ..." Eren said, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, not knowing how to take the look she gave him. Whether it was disappointment, pity or compassion, Eren would not know. "Why are you here?"

_Mikasa._

It was one of those few times he called her by her first name and not by her last. Maybe it was the first one.

He was so dizzy that he didn't even notice the bleeding wound on the girl's cheek.

"I called her," Armin said. "I knew what you would do and only she could prevent this ... Or at least end that massacre. What the hell were you thinking of, Eren? They were going to kill you. If Mikasa doesn't intervene-..."

"I had it under control, Armin. It wasn't necessary for you guys to come here."

Armin could see the sadness in Mikasa's eyes when they both heard Eren's words.

"Stop being so stubborn and admit that you lost. Bertholdt was holding you and Reiner was hitting you when we arrived. If that's what you call having things under control, I don't want to imagine how the opposite would be."

"Don't you have anything better than trying to stick your noses where you all don't mind?" Mikasa asked suddenly with annoyance towards the curious crowd in front of them. Eren and Armin raised their heads and watched them walk away slowly, one by one. The sirens could be heard closer and closer, until they saw the patrol stop on the road in front of them. Eren got up and wanted to approach the raven-haired girl, but he stopped to see her opening her eyes wide with unpleasant surprise.

"Levi? What are you doing here?" she exclaimed nervously. From all cops in the world, she expected to see any of them there, but her older brother. Eren and Armin looked at her, a little surprised that she knew that cop.

"That's exactly what I ask you: what are you doing here?" He said, taking off his sunglasses, while his workmate, a tall young man with tanned skin and light hair walked behind him, with a walkie-talkie in his hand. "And what the hell happened to your face, Mikasa?"

She didn't answer, but she swallowed hard and tried to cover her wound with a lock of hair. Levi wouldn't turn a blind eye, so he stared suspiciously at the two boys next to her, especially the kid with the bleeding mouth. Judging by the outlook, Levi could tell that Mikasa had beaten that messy brown-haired boy; but she didn't look upset, unlike someone who beat the shit out of another.

"Sir, she ..." Armin tried to speak, but Levi ignored him.

"When I received the call about the fight here, I didn't expect you to be included. What the hell were you doing here?" the captain insisted, holding his younger sister's chin to look at the wound more closely.

"Let go, Levi," she grumbled. He didn't listen to her. Armin knew then that the short, grumpy cop was his friend's older brother; but Eren was still too dizzy to think straight.

"Which of you have done this?" There was no answer. Eren's eyes locked on that bleeding wound on the girl's cheek. "Who the fuck did this?!"

Levi's voice echoed in their ears. Mikasa didn't want to blame Eren. Eren didn't remember what he had done, and Armin didn't want to accuse his best friend either.

When Levi's eyes locked on Eren with a murderous glare, Mikasa knew she had to step in.

"Levi, I ..."

"It was you, right?" He asked the turquoise-eyed boy. Eren stammered. "What's your name?"

Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut, wishing Levi hadn't asked that question.

"Eren, sir. Eren Jaeger."

Hell on earth.

"Ah, It's you."

Levi didn't take long to stretch his hand to Eren's hair to pull him and kick him in the stomach and face. One of his back teeth came out of his mouth, but the captain wouldn't stop. He hit him, kicked him, in the face, in the ribs, in the thighs, in all those areas that Eren couldn't cover.

"Levi, don't!"

Mikasa tried to stop him, but Armin grabbed her. Although she was the cop's sister, Armin was afraid she would be hurt again. In a way, he felt guilty for taking her there.

"Captain, I think that's enough ..." said Moblit Berner, the young cop next to him. But Levi only stopped when he saw that Eren ran out of breath.

"Learn something, scum," Levi said, still holding his hair, while Eren coughed hard to catch his breath, drops of his blood falling to the floor. "Don't you ever lay a finger on my sister or any other woman, can you hear me?"

"Sir..." Eren tried to speak, but the ache in his body was too strong, so he gasped for air to continue. Mikasa had the urge to run to him and help him, but Armin didn't allow her to get rid of him, no matter how strong she was.

"I wasn't planning this when Sasha told me what happened between you and this piece of shit, but if he touches you again, I'll kill him." the captain warned, addressing his sister. Mikasa's face drastically changed from worry to a murderous rage. If Eren deserved a lesson or not, that hadn't been the right way to teach him.

One more kick that left Eren in a fetal position on the ground, writhing in pain.

"Captain, won't you press charges?" Moblit asked. Levi looked at Eren with contempt.

"He had enough. You, Mikasa, you come with me."

"No." she replied, frowning, her face twitching. "And don't you dare to force me. This was too much."

With dull eyes and that resting-bitch face that Mikasa hated, Levi looked scornfully at Eren, and then at his sister.

"Clean your face." He said, as cold as before. Then he turned around and left, with his subordinate walking behind him. Mikasa soon approached Eren to help him, as did Armin.

"We must take him to the hospital, Mikasa." the blond boy announced, raising his friend's left arm to drop it on his shoulders, just as the girl did with the other arm. With all his pain and ravings, Eren shook his head.

"No no no. I don't wanna see Grisha." At this point, the boy gasped, trying to fill his lungs. "Don't take me anywhere, Armin. Let's go to your house; I'll be fine there."

"But, Eren, you need-..."

"I'll be fine, Armin."

Period.

Armin carried Eren in a taxi, and Mikasa followed them on her motorcycle. She would heal him, while Armin looked for the first aid kit to carry out the healing.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She apologized, her voice slightly broken, taking care not to hurt Eren's wounds too much while cleaning them. Armin watched them, sitting on a stool in front of them, in the living room, with a bag of ice on the back of his head.

Eren looked at her as closely as possible, and a fleeting memory of the time he was hit by a car crossed his mind.

"So did I do that to you?" he asked, pointing to the cut on the girl's cheek. Mikasa didn't answer, and it took him a while longer to speak. "... Then, I guess it's me who should apologize."

There was silence.

Eren noticed how soft the touch of that sad and gray-eyed girl was.

"He shouldn't ... I didn't know he was gonna do something like that." she continued, with a mournful voice. "I didn't think that..."

Eren sighed and moaned, squeezing his eyelids when she exerted pressure on one of his wounds.

"I suppose I deserved it ... I've been an asshole."

"No ... It was too much."

He snorted bitterly. She ran her fingers through his eyebrows in an unconscious act that Eren enjoyed as much as it lasted.

Nobody said anything for a while. Until Armin spoke.

"It was my fault. I was the one who carried you there, Mikasa ..."

"Armin, you didn't force me. I went on my own."

"In any case ..." Eren cleared his throat to continue. His mouth hurt. "It's all my fault. You both went there for me, because of my stupidity and recklessness."

More silence. They couldn't contradict Eren because he was right, even if it was hard for them to keep quiet.

Mikasa continued to clean his wounds, and he couldn't feel more at ease. Having her as his nurse was like being anesthetized: he felt almost no pain, because her hands were soft and her natural scent sweet and soothing. She was like an antidote to all the rage he had felt a while before, like the sea waves that hit the beach in a drowsy movement.

For the first time since they were there, Armin let out a mischievous grin his friends didn't notice.

Eren locked his turquoise eyes on the gray ones, and Mikasa locked her gray eyes on the turquoise eyes.

It was as if they undressed one another in a single glance, and the single thought turned them both into blushing messes, blinking at the same time, so they could stop staring at each other so intensely.

When Mikasa cleaned again, she did it so clumsily that she hurt him.

"Ouch!" he gasped, coming out of his trance.

"I'm sorry..."

"Unbelievable," Armin commented, a few seconds later. Mikasa changed the wet compress for a dry one to apply the antiseptic solution on the many wounds Eren had.

"What's unbelievable?" his friend asked, his eyes closed so he couldn't get lost or blush again staring at the girl in front of him.

"A few months ago, you guys wanted to kill each other. And now..."

The blond boy stifled a giggle. Mikasa rolled her eyes at him, somewhat confused.

"And now what, Armin?"

The shit-eating grin on Armin's lips would have turned his female friend into a blushing mess, once again, had she seen him. Because now she was looking back to Eren.

"Well ... if I didn't know you guys, I'd say there's something between you."

"What?"

"Eh?" even their voices in unison made a perfect harmony, and Armin scoffed at it. She stopped cleaning, and he straightened up in the chair. Her voice was sweet, tender and fluffy, soothing, just like her touch; his voice: doughy, mannish and vibrant, somewhat harsh, but seductive at the same time. Both of them blushed bright red, again. Mikasa wanted the ground to swallow her, and Eren would have wanted to punch Armin for embarrassing him like that.

"What the hell are you saying, Armin?" Eren exclaimed before Mikasa could touch him again.

"Eh ..." the girl stuttered. "That's nonsense..."

Eren wasn't expecting that statement. He didn't notice it, but it hurt him a little.

"Of course it is!"

"I would never be interested in someone like him." she continued, her face less flushed and her voice stronger, referring to Eren. He frowned.

"Of course not..."

"I- I don't like you at all."

"Pff. Obviously. We are opposites with abysmal differences. We could never understand each other. I would never put my eyes on someone like you either."

Losing his patience and being regretful from having brought up the subject, Armin facepalmed.

His two friends were a pair of shitheads.

"Of course not. You wouldn't be interested in a girl who can kick your ass."

"What the hell? Kick my ass?" Eren exclaimed, drawing strength from the nothing to move away from her and give her a dirty look. "You've never done that, don't be so full of yourself."

"Didn't I? Do you want me to give you a friendly reminder? The first time was when we met." Mikasa's voice began to rise as she spoke. It didn't sound as sweet as a few minutes ago. "The second one was in the music room at your mother's house, and the third time was in front of that McDonalds. Three damn times. Do you want a fourth one?"

Armin shook his head, regretting having opened his mouth. The tension was undeniable and growing in the room.

"It's not necessary. I was beaten twice today, but thanks for the offer. So nice of you." he replied sarcastically. Mikasa frowned, but she didn't plan to say anything else, no matter how upset she was. she tried to keep nursing him until Eren opened his mouth again. "... Besides, you're not my type."

That was the last straw.

Mikasa clenched her teeth, notoriously hurt by his statement.

"You are an asshole, Jaeger," she said, before squeezing the compress on his wounds so hard to make him gasp in pain. "See you later, Armin."

She left. Armin was open-mouthed, annoyed. Eren stammered. He didn't want her to leave.

"Mikasa!" he shouted suddenly to stop her. But he couldn't move. His ribs, lungs, legs, his whole body ached. However, it was useless; she had already left. "Shit, I screwed it up ..." he said, his hands on his head. Armin shook his head, looking at him with disappointment.

"You screwed up? You fucked up beyond a screw-up, Eren."

Pissed, Armin left, wanting to go after Mikasa. But when he reached the porch, he saw her getting away on her motorcycle. However, he would call her later.

Eren deserved all the whacks he received that very day.


	17. Her eyes, her hands, a text message

_Eren, can you come? I wanna see you._

When Eren looked at his phone screen after eating, he never imagined seeing Mikasa Ackerman's name as the sender of that message. His eyes widened and his heart, for some unknown reason, pounded in his chest. It must be a mistake; She wasn't the kind of girl who sent something like that, and least of all to someone like him. But it was her phone number, her name, her photo ...

With cold fingers, he left the phone on his bed. He wanted to call Armin and ask him about that, but at that time, Armin was still locked in his university, studying more than he should or preparing some of the thousands of projects assigned to him every week. It was Tuesday, and Zeke didn't open the nightclub until Thursday, so he didn't have to work that day. Eren paced, trying to decode the mystery of why Mikasa had sent him that message, telling him she wanted to see him.

Everything was confusing. Should he answer her? Should he call her? Should he text her and ask her why she wrote something like that? Their last meeting wasn't the quietest, nor his last farewell the most pleasant, so he didn't know how to address her. He even checked her social media, but her most recent updates were more than a month old, and her Facebook profile picture was six months old. In his opinion, she was the most boring person he had ever met in his life, and even then, that didn't stop him from freaking out, not knowing why a simple message made him so nervous.

He sighed, looking at his phone again (for the thousandth time in half an hour), and took his BMW keys from his bedside table.

There was only one place where she could be on a Tuesday afternoon.

.

"Eren! Kid, it's nice to see you again." Hannes said, holding a hose to water the flowers in the Jaeger's front garden when he saw Eren getting out of his white car. Eren greeted him with a pat on the back, casting an eye at the inside of the house.

"Hi, Hannes."

"Hey, son, what happened to your face?" Hannes asked, noticing the multiple wounds on the boy's face. They were already closed but still hurt like hell.

"Oh, nothing really. A trivial fight, actually."

"Hmm." the gardener mumbled, not buying it. Then he shook his head. "Did you come to stay? You would make your mother very happy if you do it, but don't let her see you with that face." Eren shook his head, frowning.

"No way. Do you know if Carla's home?"

"No, boy, she isn't there. Lucky for you, Nor your father, if you want to know. Only your little sister and her nanny."

Mikasa's face crossed by Eren's mind like a lightning bolt. He shook his head.

"That means I can go inside, right? I don't want to meet Grisha."

Hannes snorted, shaking his head.

"Son, whether you want it or not, he's your father."

"Unfortunately for me, he is." the boy replied, with Hannes patting him on the back friendly. "I'll go inside. Let me know if he comes, please. That way I'll have time to leave."

"Don't worry, kid. He's not in the country; He left yesterday for work and will be back in two days."

"Then you're right: today is my lucky day," Eren said sarcastically, making Hannes laugh. The boy walked to the porch and opened the door, hearing a sweet-sounding melody that came from the music room. There was no one in the hall or the living room; he couldn't even hear Faye's noises. The maid should have left already because there were no noises in the kitchen either. Eren moved toward the living room and walked to the corridor that led to the music room. The grand piano sound was getting louder and louder, and the musical notes resounded as soon as he opened the door with the greatest care.

Mikasa's fingers glided over the keys in a gentle and a little mournful tune, full of high-pitched trills with energetic chords and nostalgic cadences that gave the boy goosebumps. She swung as the music went, and her fingers seemed to float above the piano, while her short black hair fell on both sides of her face, blocking her view around her; that's why he didn't notice Eren's presence. She was so focused on what she was doing, and her music was so overwhelming that he didn't want to interrupt her.

"Beethoven?"

Eren's voice almost made Mikasa jump off the piano stool. She put her hand to her chest, recovering from the shock.

"Shit, Jaeger, don't do that again."

Eren chuckled. This time he did dare to enter, standing at the piano side.

"You play very well ..." he commented. She didn't look happy to have him there, and he knew why, just as he knew he had to apologize in some way (one more time), but he had no idea how to start. "Can I sit?" he asked, pointing to the empty part of the stool where she was. She didn't nod but she didn't refuse either.

Eren took her silence as a yes and sat down next to her, causing a thunderous sound when he hit the piano keys with his fingers. Mikasa pulled away a little, as if she didn't want to rub shoulders with him in any way.

"Eh ..." he continued. The silence was uncomfortable. "Where is Faye?"

She cleared her throat.

"Upstairs, in her room, sleeping."

"Oh yeah." he sighed. "It's time for her nap. Hey, can I know what it was that you played?"

Mikasa was slow to respond.

"Nothing special."

"Hmm ..." Eren stammered, slightly embarrassed. She didn't seem to want to look at him either. "Is it by Franz Liszt or one of those composers with names so old that I can't remember?"

Mikasa shook her head in denial, hiding a lock of hair behind her ear. The turquoise eyes didn't move away from the dark-haired girl.

_She's beautiful._

"No ... I was just improvising," she said, somewhat shy. Eren stared at her profile, as she made an effort not to look him in the eye; he let out a whistle of amazement.

"Fuck. Is there something you're not good at?" he asked, although not with dislike. Truth be told, he felt dazed, unable to believe that she had so many talents.

Mikasa shrugged slightly.

"I don't know. I guess so."

Eren said nothing. His fingers slid awkwardly to the keys to play a melody he learned as a child. Then he gasped with emotion when the notes of a simple song with simple chords left his fingers.

"I still remember how this shit's done." He commented, giggling, struggling not to make mistakes. He wanted to show the girl next to him that he could do it as well, no matter how rough he was. Mikasa raised her eyebrows, a little impressed; she didn't see that coming.

"That's why you know classical composers?" she asked suddenly. He turned to look at her, somewhat confused, still touching as if he were hitting the keys. It was a thunderous noise, but at least he could make music. "You mentioned Franz Liszt a moment ago ..."

"Ah, that. Well, Armin and I took music lessons when we were children. I sucked at it, as you can see, but he learned to play very well, almost as well as you. Sometimes he gave me boring lessons about music history, and that's how I learned some names. My music skills are awful, though; I've never been good at this."

Mikasa's lips stretched into a very subtle smile that Eren didn't notice. He stopped playing and she dropped a hand on the white keys, letting him hear a delightful arpeggio.

"So ... Armin plays too? I didn't know, I didn't know it..."

"He doesn't do it very often. But he is good at it."

She kept playing, straightening her back so she could stretch her arms to the ends of the piano when necessary. She wasn't bragging; Eren knew it, and that was the reason why he decided to listen instead of talking...

Staring at her, as if her face and graceful movements were a magnet attracting his eyes. For a moment he had forgotten about the phone text, about his previous arguments with her, about his plans to leave early so as not to run into his mother, having to deal with her nagging. For a moment, everything else disappeared; it was just him, the music and her.

And it was strange, and pleasant at the same time.

"You should keep trying to practice ... Maybe you're not as bad as you think."

Mikasa's voice brought him out of his involuntary enchantment, and he took his eyes off her before she could notice it.

"No, no ... I left that a long time ago. My father forced me, so it was never a pleasant thing to do so."

"Hmm. I see.

Eren felt a twinge of annoyance. He hated that she was so quiet. However, he managed to control himself not to make a scene; He had already done too many things against her, and he didn't want to screw it up this time.

Mikasa's fingers let out a dark and sinister piece with such delicacy that Eren didn't realize how she did it until her melody returned to its first gloomy sounds.

"Where did you learn to play?" he asked, a few seconds later. Eren had the slight impression that she only played so she could avoid his eyes.

"At school."

"Also the violin?" He said. She nodded. "And how do you know how to fight?"

"My brother taught me, and I also went to a martial arts academy."

Eren wrinkled his face, disturbed by his memories about the short cop.

"Yes. Now I understand everything. I guess you didn't need an academy if he taught you."

She sighed. Eren's injuries had made her remember that Levi was responsible of them, so she wanted to apologize too. She stopped her music, but she didn't look at him yet.

"Eren, I ..."

"Are you still improvising?" He interrupted her on purpose. She nodded. "Armin can't do that."

"Did he try?"

"I dunno."

"I'd like to see him play someday."

Mikasa continued with her piece. She was definitely avoiding to look at him. It wasn't normal that she hadn't turned her head towards him for a single moment. But he was not a mind reader, and she was not the easiest person to read. And it freaked him out.

"Armin is a fucking nerd with those things. Much better than me. In fact, he's better than me in almost everything." Eren said, between embarrassed and sorrowful. She frowned and he could feel it.

"I don't think so. We are all good at something. I think Armin is good at some things and you are good at others."

"Well, if being a loser is a skill, then I get the first place." Eren joked with a bitter smile. Mikasa looked at him, her gray eyes filled with outrage; she couldn't believe what he was saying. "I don't even know how Annie noticed me and not him ..."

"Losers have no dreams ..." Mikasa's voice become light, as if trying to soothe him; she felt the urge to take his hand, but she didn't. Her blood boiled when Eren mentioned Annie. "You have one and that's what matters, right? It's up to you to fulfill it or stay there, feeling sorry for never pursuing it."

Eren remembered that conversation he had had with her at the beach house in early summer. She hid a lock of hair behind her ear again, and he looked at that scar on her right cheek. Guilt hit the pit of his stomach.

"I guess."

It seemed as if both were intentionally avoiding a sensitive subject. But he didn't know exactly what, and neither did she.

"And don't say that Annie should have noticed Armin. She's not the one for him," she warned, with a slightly rougher and deeper voice. This time, Eren didn't feel guilt, but jealousy.

A jealousy that grew slowly and dangerously, like weeds between crops.

"Well, she's not the best match, but ... then who's the right one for Armin? You?" he asked, trying to tease her. He wanted to know what she would answer.

Mikasa's cheeks blushed bright red.

"What? What are you talking about? Armin and I are just friends!" she protested. She had no idea why Eren was asking that. He frowned.

"But you guys have spent a lot of time together. I thought-..."

_Don't lie, Eren. You didn't think shit like that._

"That there was something between us?" Mikasa snorted. She looked annoyed, but she never lost her temper. "Why should you always misunderstand things? Armin is ... like a little brother. Annie's not the one for him simply because she ... Because she isn't for him, okay? Armin deserves better."

"All right. Yeah. I must admit that I agree with you ... About that."

There was silence. Mikasa dropped her hand on the keys, causing a cluster; Then she sighed and stood up.

"God. It's impossible talking to you, Jaeger."

"Ah, here we go with surnames again..." he claimed, somewhat offended.

"Yes. We're not friends or anything like that, and whenever we talk we end up arguing. I know you hate me, but you should be a little less rude and leave me alone once and for all."

"Hey, I didn't come here to annoy you." Eren also got up from his seat, but he didn't approach her.

"So, what did you come for? To see Faye? I don't think so. You would have gone with her as soon as you knew she was upstairs."

"Well, actually ..." He stopped, taking his phone out of his pocket. But first, he wanted to tease her a little more. "Hey, are you mad at me?"

Mikasa looked at him, obviously annoyed. Eren kept a straight face when actually he was holding back a laugh.

"Can't tell?" she replied sarcastically, crossing her arms, frowning and pouting.

Eren had never seen a pissed-off woman who could look so adorable at the same time.

"Oh, well ... And what about this?" He commented, handing her his phone to show her the screen. She turned her head to watch, suspiciously at first, but her eyes opened wide with an unpleasant surprise.

Her name was there, and below it, a compromising text message.

"I didn't ..." Mikasa stuttered. Eren snorted, trying not to laugh.

"Evidences are telling me otherwise," he warned, unable to hide his smug grin. She paled.

"But ... I didn't send that. I didn't do it. I swear I-..."

A few light steps interrupted Mikasa's self defense. Faye had just entered the music room, rubbing her eyes as she looked for her nanny.

"Mikasa, I'm ... Eren!" the girl screamed when she saw her brother. She ran to him and Eren lifted her into his arms to hug her. Mikasa paid no attention: she was too shocked and nervous to realize what the Jaeger siblings were doing. "You came! You are here!" Faye exclaimed happily, wrapping her little arms around his neck. He kissed her on the head.

"Yeah Yeah. I'm already here..."

"Are you gonna stay home? Mom will be happy. But you haven't cut your hair yet, Eren; she will scold you."

"No, Faye, I'm not gonna stay. I just came to visit." he clarified, seeing how his little sister's face went from a radiant joy to despair. "But I'll spend the rest of the day with you, if that's what you want."

Faye hugged him again, burying her face in her older brother's neck.

"Did you get my message?" she asked. She spoke so softly that Eren couldn't understand her.

"What did you say?"

She raised her head.

"Did you get my text message?"

Mikasa stared at them carefully, as when a ray of light breaks through in the darkness. She had been trying to remember and find out how that text message reached Eren Jaeger's phone from hers, and luckily, Faye brought up that issue.

At the same time, Eren seemed a little disappointed. As incredible as it seemed, he would have liked to be able to prove that Mikasa Ackerman had sent him that text. But Faye's question seemed to put everything in order now.

"Which message?" he asked. Deep down, he expected Faye to give him a different answer than what she was supposed to give him.

"The one I sent you from Mikasa's phone."

Nothing more to explain.

But Eren regretted not to be able to tease his sister's nanny a little longer. Shit. How he wished Faye wouldn't have mentioned anything about the text message.

Was it just to tease her for a while longer, or did he really want it to be hers?

Relieved, Mikasa left the boy's cellphone on the piano lid and looked at the girl, pissed.

"Faye, why didn't you ask for my permission?"

Faye pouted, fiddling nervously with her fingers. She was ashamed. Her nanny couldn't help noticing that Eren and she had the same expression as Carla when they wanted to apologize for something; however, unlike their mother, they were not good with words.

Mikasa didn't know it, but Eren Jaeger's gestures were etched one by one into her memories.

"It's ... Because you two hate each other, I thought you wouldn't give me permission." Faye explained, her voice slightly broken. "I waited for you to forget your phone anywhere so I could write my brother ... I'm sorry. I just wanted him to come home."

The child sobbed quietly and Eren wiped the tear that slid down her cheek.

"It's okay. Faye ... Just ... Let me know next time, ok? This way we can avoid misunderstandings."

Faye nodded and there was a somewhat uncomfortable silence, but it didn't last long, thanks to the youngest one.

Eren and Mikasa knew they had to say something, but they didn't know exactly what that something was.

"Mikasa, I'm hungry."

The nanny shook her head, as if coming out of some trance.

"All right. I'll go... I'll be in the kitchen." she announced, walking towards the door. Eren could never stop staring at her ass as he watched her walk.

"Ackerman." He called her before she left. Mikasa turned around to look at him in response. "... We still hate each other, don't we?"

Mikasa shrugged.

"Do you want something to eat too?" she asked, with no intention to answer his question. Because sometimes she hated him and sometimes...

Eren nodded, a little confused.

Before Mikasa left, her phone rang in her pocket. She looked at the screen and frowned.

"Hi Jean," she said, leaving the music room. The name made Eren's stomach twitch. He was sure he wasn't going to have to see him or know about him after Historia and Ymir's wedding, but there he was now, calling Mikasa. Bothering her.

"Damn horseface." he murmured, not knowing why it had pissed him so much to see his sister's nanny talking to that guy.

This time, jealousy would only increase.

* * *

"Oi, shitty glasses, stop looking for it, because you won't find it."

Despite how harsh Levi sounded, Hanji ignored him completely. Her cravings made her want to eat raw black coffee so badly, but he had hidden it so she couldn't find it.

"Levi! I swear it's the last time, but tell me where it is ..." Hanji sobbed grossly, her mouth watering. She opened the cupboard, removing everything in there without success until Levi approached her to hold her hands tight, obviously annoyed.

"I understand you are a damn maniac, but you better take control of yourself or you will force me to calm you down the hard way," he said in a harsh voice, frowning. Hanji swallowed looking at him, her eyes flooded with tears behind her glasses.

Levi rolled his eyes. It was not the first time it happened; Sudden mood swings in his wife were quite common.

"Look who's talking about obsessions ..." she sobbed again. "I just want some coffee. Or is it that you want your child to be born hungry?"

Levi rolled his eyes again, pulling her out of the kitchen.

"Manipulations don't work with me, four eyes, and you know that." He said, dropping her on the couch in the living room. He sat down beside her without letting go of her hands. "Coffee is not good for you or the baby, much less raw coffee."

"I just want ... something to eat ..."

"Tch. You'll be a cow when you finish the pregnancy, Hanji. Do you wanna be a cow?" Levi deadpanned. She hit him on the shoulder.

"Come on, Levi, don't be mean and give me something to eat before I give birth early, please." she insisted, clasping her hands with a puppy face. He curled his lips, feigning annoyance. "Are you going to let me starve, you midget?"

"I should, though." He answered while Hanji shook him from side to side. "You're a bump in the ass, four eyes."

"Well, I'm the only one who can stand you. Who besides me would notice a freak like you, Levi Ackerman?" Hanji said, pouting. Levi raised his hand and let it fall on her head, pulling it roughly to him.

"The only freak here is you," he warned, in a cold voice; however, that didn't stop him from kissing her the next second. Hanji smiled against his lips, an electric kiss, like all these kisses Levi gave to her, as if he were hungry for her. Despite his almost permanent stoicism, Captain Ackerman could be quite romantic when he wanted to and Hanji loved those outbursts of him, so she couldn't afford to waste a single second of them.

"And you love this freak, isn't it, grumpy midget?" she said, smirking, her mouth still in his. Levi frowned slightly.

"Shut up or you'll screw up the moment."

One more kiss. If Mikasa had been there, she would have looked at them pretty disgusted and thrown something at Levi's head so they would stop behaving like two lustful teens; Hanji would mock, saying that she would have her moment, watching the girl wrinkle her face in a displeasure, denying that possibility outright. But at that moment there was no one near them, not even Kenny; not a single soul that interrupted what they were about to do on the couch in the living room. However, Hanji gasped, making Levi pull his face away from her neck and his hand away from her bra.

"Are you ok?" he asked, slightly worried. She nodded, touching her bulging belly.

"Ah …" she moaned again. Levi looked at her concerned.

"Hanji, what's wrong?" he demanded, now with a stronger voice. Although she didn't respond, she took one of his hands and brought it up to her bump. Levi's face seemed to light up at that moment.

"You feel it? It's moving..."

Few were the moments when Levi Ackerman had been so happy, although he wasn't so obvious about it. But she knew that they both shared the same joy.

"Oi, brat." He said a while later, as if he had to recover from his impression, with his lips close to Hanji's belly. "You have chosen the worst moment to move, haven't you: your mother and I were about to fuck, you know?"

"Levi!" Hanji's laughter was so loud that it probably was heard outside the house. She knew he was kidding, and he didn't care: he just wanted to feel those kicks again.

"Come on, show me another one of those ackerkicks, brat. You're wrong if you think you broke our moment for shit..."

Hanji couldn't stop laughing; besides, Levi's breath was so close that it tickled. The baby moved again inside her, causing a genuine smile in the soon-to-be-father.

"What do you think it would be?" she asked. Levi had his ear stuck in her belly, listening to these baby movements inside her belly.

"I don't know. We said we would wait."

"Yes. I already know that. But what do you want it to be?"

"A girl," he said without hesitation.

"And why not a boy?" Hanji mentioned, giggling.

"Hanji, do you think a male Ackerman will be easy to handle? I'd rather have to deal with another Mikasa than a brat like me, or you."

Hanji laughed.

"Ah, then you know you're unbearable, don't you, midget?" she declared, kissing his forehead. Levi grumbled.

"Tch. No more than you, shitty glasses."

"Well, we should think about the names. I thought that if it's a girl, we should call her Tamara, after your mother."

The captain raised his head at his wife's words. Her statement had melted his heart beyond repair.

And his phone rang, breaking the precious moment.

"Shit." the captain grunted, taking the phone out of his pocket to answer the call. "It's Erwin," he announced, after looking at the screen. Hanji nodded.

"Well, answer him. It must be important if he calls you on a Sunday afternoon."

Levi adopted the same serious expression of a few minutes ago.

"Erwin." He greeted him, watching Hanji put her shirt back on.

" _Levi, are you sitting?"_  asked the commander from the other side. The question let Levi know that it couldn't be good news.

"Yes. What happens?"

Erwin never beat around the bush to talk, and this time it wouldn't be the exception.

" _Someone is using your father's name to do banking transactions, not only with a recently created fake account but with that one you froze after Kenny did we know what."_

If the happiness he felt a few minutes before had been a mirror, Levi could have heard it break into pieces, just as Hanji saw it in his face. She said nothing but waited impatiently and worriedly for him to finish his call.

"Do you have more information about that, Erwin?"

_"The last transaction was made here in Shiganshina, but there is something that worries me even more."_

There was silence.

"Spit it out, Erwin."

_"Someone made one yesterday, in Trost, and whoever it was, he knows very well how this works because he left no trace, other than using your father's name for that."_

Levi put his hand to his chin and then to his head, rubbing his hair as if that could disappear the increasing tension. Hanji looked at him with concern.

"Some hint of who can be behind all this?" the captain asked, getting up to get away from his wife, massaging the bridge of his nose. She was pregnant and it wasn't fair to bother her with that kind of stuff.

However, he had already talked too much to avoid it.

_"I've already started the investigation, Levi. I managed to reopen the case of your parents' murder with this. I'll go to Trost next week."_

"...Shit." Levi breathed deeply. A lump had formed in his throat, but he managed to undo it immediately.

 _"Are you okay, Levi?"_  Commander Smith asked. He knew his best friend well enough not to notice his mood swing, even if he wasn't looking at him.

"I'll talk to Commander Dawk so he can allow me to transfer the case to Trost ..." he answered, changing the topic of their chat. Talking about what he felt was the last thing on Captain Ackerman's mind.

_"No. Leave it to me; I'll talk to Nile myself. But the case stays here in Shiganshina, at least officially."_

"Erwin ..."

_"Levi, the fewer people know about this, the better. Don't forget what we talked about before you moved to Trost."_

Levi sighed.

"Tch. I'll wait for you here next week."

_"All right. Bye. Greetings to Hanji."_

The call ended. Levi put his hands to his head, and a few seconds later he felt his wife's warm hand on his shoulder.

Hanji didn't have to ask for her husband to tell her about the conversation with Erwin. As tough as Levi wanted to seem, she knew he didn't want to be alone; so she hugged him. Suddenly, Hanji was no longer hungry, but more worried about what she had just heard.

"Will you tell Mikasa about this?" she asked, her hand on his back. Levi shook his head.

"No. I'll keep her away from this as much as possible."

Hanji nodded.

"Yes. I also believe that's the best."

Levi sighed. Now he had too much to think about.

"Don't mention it in front of Kenny either." He warned her, fingers crossed in front of his mouth, trying to think straight.

"Of course not. But let's go upstairs, you need to rest."

Yes. She was right and he wasn't going to refuse, but he couldn't stop thinking about it no matter how much he rested. One thing was for sure: he wouldn't stop this time until he found the culprit of his parents' death, even if it gets him killed.

Because he admitted it or not, he still blamed himself for not having been at home the night that happened; and neither for his sister. After all, she had been the hardest hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no much to say this time in this a/n. I hope you liked that fluff LeviHan. It wasn't easy to write this pair dynamics, but I loved doing it for the first time. As for Eren and Mikasa, don't rush it; the EreMika fire has already started to light up. This chapter is quiet as for the last one was quite violent and there's much more to come.
> 
> The song Mikasa was playing can be found as "Shingeki no kyojin - ost Marco" on YouTube.
> 
> I really want to thank all these friends and readers who have supported me until now; many hugs to y'all. See you next time.


	18. Just a matter of time

Commander Smith had brought with him two huge boxes of the Ackerman case files to Trost. To be an unresolved case, there was a considerable amount of paperwork that Levi could not stop reviewing for the thousandth time, after almost eight years since the incident. And still, no clue, except for a boy's name to whom Captain Ackerman had questioned a few months after his parents' murder, having too much to do with the crime scene. Even so, there was not much information that he could have obtained; but Erwin didn't rule out the possibility of bringing up again any possible evidence.

Even if it seemed to be useless.

"Zeke Jaeger." the commander said, handing him the documentation about a trial that had taken place a few years ago. Levi raised his head, alarmed. The Jaeger surname was not too common, and he couldn't help relating it with the brat that messed with his younger sister.

"Jaeger?" he pronounced. Although that wasn't a question; All he wanted was for Erwin to clear up his doubts.

"The blond boy with glasses that you punched a few years ago after chasing him for almost whole Shiganshina."

Levi frowned.

"I remember his face, but I didn't remember his last name. Still, what's the point? That scumbag said nothing useful to us. He was an accomplice, but he could prove that he wasn't the mastermind as well as he had no clue of who he was dealing with ... It seems like we were talking about ghost killers, Erwin. It's been seven years and we've not been able to solve this shit."

The captain kicked the chair, snorting in frustration. Erwin shook his head.

"Levi, if they're still moving using your father's name, they're not as ghosts as we think. Probably they were just waiting for this: for the time to pass and the case to be closed in order to act again. I have a theory that whoever it was, they did it to hide something. Something your parents knew and probably nobody should know."

Levi turned his head towards his friend with a suspicious gaze.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that probably this something has to do with the company in which your parents were associates."

"Tybur and Co.? They went bankrupt five years ago, Erwin. And there's nothing that incriminates the Tybur in the crime. What makes you think something like that?"

Erwin leaned forward and folded his hands on the desk.

"Levi, our experience as cops tells us that nothing is ever as white as it seems. There is always a dark spot in some corner. Even if we interrogated them for years and did not get anything, we should do the same thing this time and try if we can uncover things that we couldn't perceive before. I don't blame the Tyburs, I think they were honest people, but remember your parents were not the only shareholders of that company."

"We interrogated them all, Erwin. And it didn't help at all."

"I know. And still, I think we may have missed a few things."

Levi was thoughtful for a few seconds.

"And what do you suggest?"

"Let's start again. Interrogate the Jaeger boy once again, and all those who might be involved."

"Boy? I doubt he's still a boy." Levi commented, frowning and crossing his arms, with his back against the wall. Captain Ackerman's office was small, but unlike other offices, its walls didn't let the sound seep out, which was an advantage when it came to keeping a secret. "He still lives in Shiganshina, right? I think I'll have to travel there again ..."

"No. I will. You scared him too much for him to agree to meet again with the cop who chased him all over the city and almost destroyed his face."

"Tch. Fucking coward."

Erwin stifled a laugh.

"I don't know if he still lives in Shiganshina. I think he moved to another place after serving his two-year sentence. But it won't be difficult to find him with that surname. The Jaegers are as uncommon as the Ackermans, besides, his father lived here, in Trost, didn't he?"

Levi looked at him annoyed and his friend questioned him with his eyes.

"I hope he has nothing to do with the family she's been working with."

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's the babysitter of a little girl named Jaeger. A few days ago I beat her older brother because he wounded my monster in the face and left her a scar. The damn name haunts me, apparently."

"Wait," Erwin interrupted, somewhat dismayed. "Did he wound Mikasa? How?"

"The brat didn't want to tell me. But from what I saw, she had already struck him before I arrived. However, I gave him a lesson, so he knows that he can't touch her again."

"Levi," Erwin roared suspiciously, squinting. "what did you do?"

"Get the shit out of him. He deserved it. I think that's my fate with the Jaegers."

Erwin sighed.

"That boy has a mother; Are you aware of that, Levi?"

"Well, his mother should have learned how to raise him. Now it's clear to him that he shouldn't mess with a policeman's sister, especially if she's an Ackerman. Well, going back to the previous matter, what will we do then?"

"First of all: finish reviewing all these papers, your parents' bank accounts, and see if there is any other connection we haven't noticed before. Tomorrow I'll go back to Shiganshina and look for that guy; I'm sure he can say much more than before. I told Nile to help you, in case you found something."

Levi nodded. One of his subordinates knocked on the door to deliver some documents and then left.

"Erwin, what will we do with Kenny?" the captain asked, concerned. His friend shook his head.

"So far nothing. Let him be."

There was silence for a moment. Erwin knew his best friend, and he knew something wasn't right.

"Levi," Erwin called him. "What's bothering you?"

The captain poured a cup of tea before taking a sit in front of Erwin.

"He's almost never home. Although I'd rather Hanji to be alone than with him."

"All right. So what is the problem with his absence?"

Levi took a sip of tea before answering, scowling.

"I guess it's his bad habits that make me uneasy. Not knowing where he's going makes me a little uncomfortable."

"We have to keep an eye on him, then."

"I try, but while I'm here it's complicated."

"We'll see what to do." the commander replied, organizing a few papers in alphabetical order. Although he didn't say it, Levi thanked heavens for having a friend as sharp-minded as Erwin Smith, because a few days later they could prove he was right. "You know when your child is born?" he asked later, trying to change the subject. Levi raised his eyebrows slightly and nonchalantly.

"December," he answered, somewhat smug. Erwin smiled.

"Poor Hanji. Having to deal with two like you won't be easy for her."

"Tch. My four eyes is luckier than you think, Erwin." Levi finished his tea and left the cup on the table before his friend mocked. They must clear the air, but they shouldn't let their guard down.

They were about to find many other clues, and they all lead to one place.

Trost.

They would have a long way to go from now on about the hunt of the Ackerman's murderers.

* * *

The Leonhardt's neighbors were no longer alarmed when they heard the thuds and shouts inside that small house. It was normal that every weekend John Leonhardt came home drunk as a lord, yelling his lungs out, demanding his daughter to feed him as if talking to a maid. But this time it was different. Annie knew that her father was not only drunk but also pissed off. Truth be told, John had never laid a hand on his daughter, but yelling at her and demanding impossible things from her were enough for her to wish she had never been born.

Annie missed her mother, but she wanted more to be able to get out of there once and for all.

"Anna Marie!" the father shouted, his voice and mouth numbed by alcohol, mumbling his words. Hating when he called her by her full name, the girl could hear from inside her room all the things broken under her father's dipsomaniac delirium. And still, she tried to remain calm while dialing Bertholdt's number. "Anna Marie Leonhardt, get out of there right now, damn it!"

For a moment, Annie thought that her room's door would break.

Bertholdt didn't answer. Nor Reiner.

"Shit, you know what will happen now, Annie? Do you know what can happen to me now that you broke up with that rich son of a bitch? If his father opens his mouth, I'll be dead, Anna Marie! You were the only guarantee I had for Jaeger to know that I was keeping an eye on him and now ..." Annie heard the sound of something glassy breaking into pieces, and again, more knocks on her door. "It will be your fault, my girl. If I go to jail or die, it won't be anyone else's fault than yours..." Annie heard him shut up as he slipped on the door until he fell to the ground, bursting into tears. She hated this; she hated his false tears, his drunken tears. She hated when her mother died and left her alone with a man who didn't deserve to be called her father.

"Annie ..." the man sobbed from outside. "Will you leave your father alone, my child? Will you leave alone the one who has been with you after my Heidi died? How could you do this to me? How..."

And still, she wasn't able to abandon him. But she was tired of pretending something that she was not responsible for.

"C'mon, Bertholdt. Answer me." she whispered to herself in despair. She wanted to get out of that hell.

"Annie! Open the damn door and tell me why the fuck you did it!" The drunken man roared, knocking on the door again. A second later there was only stillness.

There was no response from the other side of the phone.

Just one person came to her mind. She didn't want to hurt him, though; He was important, he always had been, even though she had not realized it until the day he kissed her.

Armin.

He would be there for her, even if she didn't deserve it.

He was the only one who answered the call.

" _Annie?_ " he asked, as concerned as every time it came to her.

"Armin, I know I shouldn't ask for this to you, but ..."

Silence.

" _Annie?_  What's going on?"

Silence again.

"Could you come for me?"

" _Where are you?"_

He didn't hesitate, not even for a second. Bertholdt hadn't even answered her call.

"Home."

" _Is it about your_ _father?_ " Armin's question had no answer, and he didn't need to ask more. " _I'll be there in twenty minutes."_

She needed to talk to someone more than ever. But this time she was not sure that Armin could keep a secret for as long as the last time.

This time she would just have to live with it.

Alone.

* * *

This was not Mikasa's best day. Definitely not.

That old motorcycle had to be replaced; she had won it four years ago at a supermarket raffle, purely by chance, when she stopped to pay for the box of pudding she had bought, turning out to be the 1000th customer. Levi didn't agree very much with the idea of his fifteen-year-old sister driving a Kawasaki Ninja 300, but she ignored her older brother's scoldings and kept the bike. Since then she no longer had to walk so much to go to school, nor to her martial arts classes, and without a doubt, her two-wheeled vehicle was her best companion during her first year of college.

But lately, it was malfunctioning too much. And also on that autumn day, when the rain threatened to fall. Fortunately, her school backpack and her violin case were waterproof, so her books and instrument would not get wet; however, the weather conditions of that day let her know that she was about to get caught in the downpour of her life. Well, at least she wouldn't have to go take care of Faye that day because Mrs. Jaeger would be at home. She had to take a taxi to return to the dorms and she didn't have much money, except to buy an expensive book, but she couldn't get wet. And a few drops were already falling when she reached for the highway to stop the first taxi in sight ...

Until she saw the tall and ungainly figure of her paternal uncle, covered with his usual raincoat and his old hat. Mikasa might not get along with Kenny, but she could recognize his shape anywhere, and no doubt, that tall old man with a thin and almost gray beard who walked as if he didn't want to be seen was that family member she loathed so much.

She forgot about the taxi and the driver continued his way, annoyed, as he watched the girl crossing the avenue until reaching the other side, where his uncle had already disappeared at the next corner.

Levi was going to kill her if he found out. Because nothing Kenny could be involved in was a good thing; nobody had to be a genius to realize that the Ackermans oldest looked suspiciously everywhere, preventing anyone from looking at him.

But he didn't expect his niece to catch him that late afternoon, walking toward the Stohess' southern limit.

Ten minutes later, the chase of Kenny had taken her to the back entrance of a not-so-good nightclub. However, she didn't see him go into: the old man knocked on the door with a rhythmic beat that Mikasa took as a password while watching him, hidden behind the wall in that alley's corner. It still wasn't raining hard, so she pulled out her phone to record her uncle's movements, from the moment a bald, chubby man came out to meet him and hand him a leather briefcase until they shook hands. There was no doubt that Kenny was involved in dirty business, and she had now the perfect evidence ...

But her eyes met Kenny's, just as she finished the recording. And the rain grew stronger in the blink of an eye, and all her efforts went to shit. Her phone was ruined now, and Kenny was going for her. Not that she hadn't been cautious, it was that the Ackermans had a keen sense of intuition and perception, and she wouldn't have been able to evade easily an old and sneaky Ackerman like her uncle.

Run.

If Kenny planned to hurt her or give her a "subtle, friendly and warm" warning, she was not sure, but she didn't want to find it out. She was more interested to know if she could still retrieve her video and go with Levi as soon as possible. Mikasa ran up the street, getting wet under the autumn downpour that fell on Trost that day in late September. She didn't want to see if Kenny was chasing her, to tell the truth, that didn't matter. Her father's brother could be stronger than her, but she was well enough trained to give a good fight; however, it was not her priority. She had to get to the Stohess police station soon and call the captain from there.

But there was not a soul in the streets; nor a taxi that could take her to her destination. All she could do was keep running for the 30 remaining minutes to get there, until she turned around the corner, crashing into a long-haired boy with an umbrella in his hand, a bit taller than her. She fell to the ground and he helped her up.

If Kenny had stopped chasing her when he saw the boy with her, she never knew. But she didn't see her uncle anywhere when she looked back.

"You're grossed out, Ackerman."

The voice was annoyingly familiar, but somehow it was a relief to see Eren there.

"Yeah. It's also nice to see you, Jaeger," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes while the rainwater continued falling on her. Her clothes were plastered to her body as water poured from her hair, but her books and violin were safe on her back, and that was what mattered. Although inside, she prayed to heavens that her phone could still be saved.

"Fuck. What were you doing? Running a marathon under the rain? Tell me, was it fun?" he mocked her with a shit-eating grin on his lips that made Mikasa felt unconsciously attracted. She frowned and released her hand from his when she realized that he had held her longer than expected.

"Asshole," she said, about to walk away. The rain fell so hard that it barely let her see the way in front of her.

Eren grabbed her arm before she could leave.

"Silly. Do you wanna catch a cold? Carla would kill me if she finds out that I've found you about to die and I didn't save your life."

Yes. Eren was still annoying, and even more so his attempts at jokes ... Although not as much as before.

She pulled away again but didn't move forward.

"Pretty nice of you, Jaeger. But I don't need you to save me. Thank you."

"Well, I wouldn't question it after having tried your fists, but judging by how you look, I think you could use a little of my help, don't you think? I'll take you to Armin's. We are nearby."

She looked at him with some distrust. Eren smiled again and she felt something melt in her chest even under that cold rain. She had to relax her face, while the boy held her sleeve to pull her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, not letting her go. "You don't think I'm capable of being kind for once, do you?"

Mikasa didn't respond. And still, he pulled her to keep walking towards the Stohess northern limit. She saw him closing the umbrella and throw it into a trash can on the sidewalk.

"You will get wet ..." the girl said in a low voice, somewhat worried. But he could hear her despite the storm.

"So what? I want to have some fun too."

"I didn't do it for fun ..."

"I know, silly. You're pretty boring, so that's obvious."

Mikasa didn't see the smile that stretched Eren's lips, and unlike at other times, that joke didn't annoy her. He hadn't let go of her sleeve and she didn't seem to have any intention of letting go as she walked behind him.

"By the way, where's your motorcycle?"

"On maintenance." she lied. Actually, she was waiting for her monthly payment to be able to send it to a repair workshop.

"Again?"

"Yes. It's already old."

"Well, it's one of the best bikes I've seen, so don't let it die so easily. I also had to send my car to repair for a minor brake problem, so I went out without it, but I didn't expect to find you here, and less under this broken sky. Why are not you with Faye today?"

Mikasa took a moment to answer. The water was so cold that her teeth were already chattering, but she didn't want Eren to notice.

"Mrs. Jaeger- ..."

Eren turned back to her and interrupted her, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Don't call her missus. She hates it."

Mikasa sighed. The rain kept falling on them relentlessly.

"All right. Carla told me that it was not necessary to go today because she would stay at home all afternoon."

He nodded. She didn't say more.

Despite the cold, it did not bother her to be guided by that boy who had gotten wet ...  _For her?_

"Who did you run away from?" he asked a while later. They were almost arriving at Armin's house.

"Uh?"

"You were running away from someone when you bumped into me, weren't you?"

"Hmm ... Not really."

Eren looked at her askance.

"You're not good at lying. But you don't have to answer me."

Eren Jaeger was a whole box of surprises. Since when had he become so observant?

He regretted leaving the answer up to her. If she didn't talk much, he had given her the perfect reason not to answer, and that, to tell the truth, freaked him out.

He released her sleeve as they stopped in front of the Arlert house. Eren rang the bell, and a gray-haired and stooped old man opened the door.

"Eren!" Armin's grandfather shouted when he saw him. It didn't take long to get them in. "Son, what's this? Why are you so soaked?"

"Mikasa had an accident, sir. I know Armin is not here, but we need your help ..."

Eren didn't have to talk much. The next second they were already upstairs, and Gerard Arlert took a pair of clothes out of his daughter-in-law's closet to hand them to Mikasa and let her change. Eren would wear something of Armin; after all, their body types were almost the same, even though Eren was a bit taller than his best friend. Both of them would wait until the rain stopped and their clothes dried to be able to leave.

"Son, I have to leave." Mr. Arlert said, five minutes later. His grandson's friends waited for Armin in the living room. "I guess Armin will be back soon; but if you are hungry, feel free to take what you want from the kitchen. Goodbye, then. Tell my grandson that I went to a friend who is sick if he asks."

Eren nodded. Mikasa would have liked Mr. Arlert to stay there until Armin returned. And she didn't say anything, but when she looked at her phone, she realized it can't be fixed, so she sighed in frustration; it was too wet to hope for.

Kenny's video had gone to hell. Although maybe she could go with Levi later and retrieve the file.

The silence over them was somewhat uncomfortable, and she still froze cold, despite sitting in front of the fireplace.

"Are you hungry, Slytherin?" Eren asked, trying desperately to break the ice. For some reason, he wanted to break the barrier that she placed between them; Mikasa Ackerman began to become little by little a challenge that he was willing to overcome.

And she wasn't like anyone else he had known before.

Mikasa nodded, hugging her knees to her chest, her back against the couch. Eren stood up, went to the kitchen, and came back with a few snacks that he left on a tray in front of them.

"Hey ... I'm going to sign up at the bakery school. Maybe you don't care about it, but I decided to follow your advice and do what I want to. I just need to go find some documents at Carla's house and I'll be ready."

Eren's words made her look at him.

Who said she didn't care?

And why did she care?

"That is good. I think ... it took you a while to take the decision, didn't you?"

Eren smiled.

"Yeah. A bit."

Mikasa remained thoughtful for a couple of seconds.

"I could look for those documents for you ... If possible," she said. She herself was surprised to have said that.

"Well, it would be great, but I must go by myself. Surely they are in Grisha's office, and it will be a challenge to enter there."

Silence.

Eren would have liked to see her relax a little.

"One day your father will be proud of you. Anger can't last him for a lifetime." the girl commented.

"No. I guess not. But at this point, I honestly don't care about him anymore."

She took a muffin from the tray and he took a cookie. Now they could only hear the crack of wood burning in the fireplace.

"If I ask you a question, would you answer it?" Eren pronounced, before swallowing his biscuit. She nodded. "Why are you so quiet?"

The question took Mikasa by surprise, but she just shrugged.

"I'm not ... I just talk when necessary."

She had the impression that Eren wanted to ask something else, and it was true. But he didn't want to be indiscreet.

"Have you always been like this?"

"Hmm. I really don't remember much."

_Why don't you smile?_

Eren swallowed his question along with his piece of cookie.

"Forgive me for..."

"Why?" Mikasa looked at him again, a little puzzled at his apologies. He pointed to his own cheek, and she understood. "Oh, it's nothing. I know you didn't want to do it."

Mikasa yawned and rubbed her eyes. Eren had just noticed how well that white nightgown of Armin's mother suit her, and how the fire in the fireplace reflected in these gray eyes of her that watched the flames hypnotized, or perhaps indifferent.

_Sexy. She looks so damn sexy._

"Are you sleepy?" he asked. She nodded.

"A bit. I got up very early and went to bed late last night."

It was nice to hear her say something beyond a forced and monosyllabic response.

"Schoolwork?"

"Yes. A long ass essay about chromatic Harmony in the eighteenth century ..."

Eren wrinkled his face and snorted.

"And what do you eat that with? Is it some gourmet dish or something?" He joked. Although he wasn't expecting to see her smile or blush. It was a truly beautiful sight, in spite of how shy and weak that smile was. But Eren's turquoise eyes could take delight on it while it lasted.

Had he been a little closer to her, he would have ...

"It's complicated to explain it," she replied, with a slightly less gloomy but warmer expression on her face. "It would take me more than a day."

"Do you think I'm stupid? Well, I know you think I am, but- ..."

Mikasa blushed even more. Her eyes used to talk a lot, and Eren liked that.

In fact, Eren liked many more things about her, he just didn't realize it yet. Maybe because they were opposites, and the opposites always attract.

"No. I don't believe that. But this is something very complex, and I don't think you like listening to me talk about it all day. Even I get bored in classes sometimes."

He shrugged, biting another cookie.

"If you say so."

Her eyes went back to the fire so as not to be enraptured by the strong and penetrating gaze of that boy next to her. Sometimes Mikasa was sure she could get lost in these blue-green colored eyes that glowed with a hellish fire. Yes, they were that fierce.

But when he was calm, Mikasa could see how good-looking he was.

She yawned again.

"Do you think the clothes are dry?"

"I dunno. I'll go check." Eren replied, standing up. This time he took a muffin before going to the laundry room and swallowed it in one bite. He returned to the room two minutes later, but Mikasa was already asleep.

She must have been very tired, because she didn't even move when he tried to pick her up off the floor and leave her on the couch. For a moment, Eren couldn't help but contemplate her. If Snow White had really existed, then Mikasa Ackerman was her reincarnation. She was truly beautiful and her face seemed chiseled by the gods themselves.

His thumb slid over the scar on her right cheek, but truth be told, that never detracted from her beauty. His finger went down to her lips, touching them clumsily, and she pouted. Eren moved away, but not quite ...

And he didn't know how, or when, or why, but in the blink of an eye, he was at her side, cuddling her. Mikasa didn't wake up, nor did she move when he dared to put his hand on her waist.

He would also fall asleep, with the girl's body close to his. And it was one of the most pleasant sensations he had ever experienced in his life.

.

"Eren."

Armin's whisper woke him up. He had lost track of time, and his mind struggled to put his thoughts straight and remember where he was and what had happened.

Mikasa's hair was the first thing he saw when his vision cleared, and he smiled to himself. He pulled away from her, sat on the couch and rubbed his eyes, yawning.

"Armin, when did you arrive?"

"A few minutes ago. I saw you guys here but I wanted to go change my clothes first. I think you had a great time, didn't you? Look at you." Armin commented, trying not to laugh while pointing out some shameful thing that was rising under Eren's sport trousers.

The boner was quite noticeable. That was the result of having wet dreams with Mikasa.

But it had not been his intention.

"Shit, Armin!" He exclaimed in a low voice, covering himself with a pillow, blood rising on his cheeks. "No no no! Don't wake her up!" he pleaded, guessing his friend's intentions. But it was too late, and the blond boy was having a lot of fun with this to stop. Armin had already seen it coming, and seeing Eren so nervous made him want to laugh so hard.

"Mikasa ... Mikasa, wake up."

She opened her eyes and looked everywhere. It also took her a few seconds to get used to reality and remember where she was.

"Hi, Armin."

"Hello. Did you sleep well?" he asked, hiding his smug giggle behind an expression of fake innocence. Eren wanted to punch him in the face.

"Eh ... I think so. What time is it?"

Armin looked at his watch.

"It's eight for seven."

"Shit," she said, standing up. "I slept too much. I have to go. Armin, where's the laundry room?"

"Eren, would you be so kind as to escort the lady there?" the blond boy said to his friend, raising his eyebrows with a face that made Eren grit his teeth.

_Son of a..._

"Armin ..." He tried to warn him, with a murderous glare. But Armin ignored him, while Mikasa waited impatiently for him to leave.

"C'mon, lead her way. And give me that pillow."

Eren paled; Armin didn't give him time to react and all he could do was try to cover his boner with both hands. Mikasa frowned, uncomfortable, and also puzzled, but she had no idea of what was really going on ...

Or she would have died of shame.

"Eh ... Please take me there, or tell me where it is. I don't have all day."

Armin kicked his friend. Mikasa shook her head, sighing; Eren following her, praying to heavens that she wouldn't notice anything.

He was going to kill Armin. He swore to Carla that he was going to kill him.

* * *

Zeke had flatly forbidden his brother to try any of the drinks while he was working. The club was crowded with customers that night, like every month; an advertising poster announcing a Halloween party adorned the entrance, attracting hundreds of young customers who came there to have fun and taste the famous "Titan Beast" drink. It was Saturday night, and Armin, who had nothing to do at home, preferred to go visit his best friend at his work hour and sit at the bar while watching him serve the drinks at an amazing speed. Eren had learned the art of being a bartender rather quickly, and thanks to his service, he couldn't complain about the tips he was given.

Everything was going well.

Very good.

But he didn't expect to see that face he hated so much for no apparent reason.

.

"C'mon, Mikasa. Don't be a party-pooper. Will you go home right after coming here?" Sasha protested in a whisper, pulling her friend's arm to make her enter the club. Connie and Jean walked ahead at a slow pace, waiting for them.

"Sasha, I came only because you hid my bike keys and my violin." Mikasa deadpanned.

"Well, you have just two options, either you stay here with us, or you go with Jean to another place. The two of you, alone, without me. Agree? It's the only way I can give your stuff back."

"Sasha ..." right before Mikasa could complain and give Sasha one of her ackerglares, Connie pulled his girlfriend by her arm, impatient to enter.

"Are you guys gonna stay there all night? C'mon, or we'll miss the Happy Hour!"

No protests. Mikasa was dragged by the current, and Jean followed his friends, a little uncomfortable. It was painful to know that the girl he liked had only come because Sasha insisted. But he preferred not to think about that.

A waiter lead them to the table that Sasha reserved for them as they ordered some drinks. It would be a few minutes until Jean got sick of such an uncomfortable situation and asked Mikasa to dance. After all, what could go wrong?

No. Nothing could go wrong when she said yes. She thought maybe it was good to follow Hanji and Sasha's advice and have some fun; and Jean ... Well, Jean had always been sweet to her. What would be wrong with learning to dance with him?

Actually, she didn't know how bad that could be.

"Wow," Armin exclaimed when looking by chance at the dance floor. "Isn't that Mikasa?" He asked Eren, who was drying a beer glass. Eren could hardly hear him because of the music volume.

"Who?"

"Mikasa. She's with..."

Armin realized that it wasn't necessary to finish the sentence and that it hadn't been good to warn his friend about her presence in the nightclub.

The expression on Eren's face changed immediately. His bushy brows frowned as he clenched his jaw, not willing to speak for the rest of the night. But his rage would be enough to break the only rule that Zeke left on him, and start drinking a cup of whiskey every minute.

"Eren! You will get in trouble!"

"Shut up, Armin."

Ten, twenty, thirty.

At this point, he didn't give a damn if Zeke fired him or not.

Eren must have been pretty dizzy when Connie approached Jean to say something in his ear that made him blush; and still, he didn't let go of Mikasa's hands.

Despite the flickering lights and all the people in there, Eren watched, enraged from behind the bar, the moment when Jean's mouth touched Mikasa's.

She was so astonished and confused that she couldn't move an inch of her body. The lights, the noise, the smoke ... Her first kiss.

Her first kiss and it wasn't as she expected. It was strange, confusing, uncomfortable, somewhat wet and prolonged, perhaps because Jean took her immobility as an affirmation. And also soft. Jean's lips were soft.

If she wanted to leave or stay there, that was not clear to her. She was too stunned to get a clear idea of what she should do at that moment.

Armin facepalmed when he saw Eren cross the bar and walk towards the dance floor.

"What's wrong?" Jean asked the gray-eyed girl when she moved away from him. Mikasa touched her lips, and he wasn't sure if she wanted to wipe herself or not.

"N- Nothing. It is just that-..."

"Eren!" Armin shouted in the middle of the bustle. Mikasa didn't hear it, but she did see him run after Eren to try to stop him.

Too late.

The problem was that trying to make a drunk Eren to listen was quite a challenge.

"Get away from her, you damn horse face," Eren yelled, his voice hoarse, grabbing his shirt to get him away from Mikasa. Many people stopped to see the argument, while Jean struggled to understand where that had come from.

"Ah, but it's you! ..."

"No!" Mikasa exclaimed before the two of them started a nonsense fight. Eren already smelled of alcohol and she noticed it as she stood between them, holding Eren's hand. "Calm down or I'm going to kick both your asses."

Serious words. Neither of them wanted that, because Mikasa was not the most tender girl.

Despite how drunk he was, Eren looked into her eyes and lowered his head, ashamed. And Jean freaked out; in his opinion, Eren only wanted to become the victim in front of Mikasa.

A hell broke loose.

"Don't screw with me, you bastard!" the ash-haired boy roared, holding his rival by his shirt collar.

"Let go! I wasn't going to do anything to you, son of a bitch!"

"Who gives a damn about it! I'll kill you!" Jean didn't give him time to react, neither to him nor to Mikasa. He smashed a fist in Eren's face, and then another, and another one came.

And Eren, who was not going to stand that, tripped him up to knock him down and punch him hard. Another fight, yeah, another one; apparently, that was his life: getting involved in fights. But he wasn't going to get bruised like the last time.

Mikasa pulled him by his collar, throwing him against the wall before they killed each other. The music had stopped, and two security guards were now walking towards the dance floor. It was a miracle that nothing had been broken.

At the same time, Armin helped Jean to get up, swearing to himself that he would learn how to fight. It couldn't always be Mikasa who took Eren out of the messes he got into by magic. Sasha wanted to take her best friend away, but she didn't allow it. Open-mouthed, Connie watched the scene, as did many of the club's customers. Jean's mouth was bleeding as well as Eren's nose, but that was all that happened; however, the glares they gave to each other were enough to know that they couldn't meet again.

How beautiful could be the jealousy of a self-refused love.

So beautiful.


	19. Memories

If Mikasa had been looking for an excuse for Jean to leave her alone, the brawl between him and Eren was the perfect reason. Jean punched Eren right when the latter let down his guard, and for her, that was just a dirty play. The kiss, in addition, was something strange (although she liked it, yes, just a little) and he was not the right one.

Not at all. Not for her.

She didn't imagine herself kissing him a second time.

The same night Jean Kirschtein thought he had been able to conquer her, was the same night he lost all possibility of being by her side again. Armin, who saw the argument between him and Mikasa, couldn't help but relate; after all, the same thing happened to him with the girl he had fallen in love with, being the only difference that Annie was still his friend, while Mikasa had rejected Jean once and for all. They were similar in a certain way, and Armin felt sorry for him, watching him go off after a resounding NO, pronounced by that silver-eyed girl.

Perhaps one day he would be encouraged to speak to him, in case a less unfortunate coincidence would lead them to meet again. So he could explain to him that not always one can have what they want, and less if it comes to the heart. Armin knew from experience that this one could be quite deceptive, and it was better not to trust it.

.

Zeke didn't fire Eren, but he wasn't happy at all. It was Pieck who suggested for his brother-in-law to stop receiving his payment for a month as a sanction, and Eren couldn't object; He was drunk, but he knew what was going on around him, and what he had done. After all, it was he who drank without permission and the one who started the brawl.

But why?

When he saw Mikasa there with Armin, waiting for him, everything was clearer.

At that moment, he wished he could put his hands around Jean's neck and hang him to death.

.

"Leave me alone. I can walk on my own." he protested, stomping off the nightclub. Armin and Mikasa were after him, waiting for him to fall at any moment. Connie and Sasha had gone too, chasing after Jean; Sasha being upset with her best friend for having treated Jean that way.

Mikasa would make things up with her later.

"Eren ..."

"Don't say shit, Armin. Don't. I'm pissed, I'm ... Why am I pissed? Oh yeah. I hate horses; I don't wanna see one of them ever again in my fucking life."

Mikasa had him get in the back seat of Armin's Ford, while her friend lit the car. Eren moved away from her, frowning, drunk as a lord; she shook her head, disappointed, as she closed the door for the car to start its way.

"Mikasa, do you want me to drive you to dorms or to your brother's house?"

"To the dorms, please. And thank you, Armin."

The blond boy nodded, looking at her in the rearview mirror. He started the vehicle. Eren looked out the window, a little dizzy as if that could clear his anger.

"I should have killed him," he commented a while later. Mikasa sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose.

"C'mon, don't talk nonsense. You're drunk, Eren. No drunk can think straight, so you better close your damn mouth. " Armin replied from the driver's seat. His friend snorted.

"You say it because you didn't have to see the same thing as me, Armin!" Eren shouted, angrily. Armin shook his head, hoping for his best friend to be drunk enough to shut up or let out everything he was thinking about.

"So what? What did you see? I saw no reason why you should throw yourself like that on Jean and punch him as you did. He did absolutely nothing wrong, not against you, Eren. That was an overreaction."

Eren stuttered.

"Wha- What was he doing? What did I see? Are you serious, Armin? Dammit. You saw it! He was ... He had his hands on ..." As if he had realized something, the turquoise-eyed boy turned his head towards the girl next to him. "And you, why did you allow it?"

Mikasa raised her head to look at him, shocked. When her eyes met Eren's, she felt an unceasing and strange bubbling inside her. She wasn't sure what it was, or why, nor did she know what the source of Eren's rage was.

Or maybe she just didn't want to face it.

Mikasa was afraid.

But why was she afraid?

"What are you talking about?" It was the only thing she could say. Eren seemed to get even angrier.

"You liked it, don't you?"

The question was bold and unexpected. Armin watched them uneasily from his seat. Mikasa opened her eyes wide, absolutely bewildered.

"Uh?"

"Tell me. Did you like it? Did you like being kissed by that damn horse face?" Eren exclaimed, his eyes burning with anger like torches. The girl in front of him stammered, wondering what all this was about.

Armin sighed in frustration, while Eren looked grim.

"Eren ..."

"Shut up, Armin! Let her answer. Let her tell me what she felt when that motherfucker kissed her." he warned, looking at her fiercely. Until then, Mikasa didn't know how much those accusations could bother her, but the blood began to boil inside her like a volcano about to explode.

"Why do you care about that? What's your problem?" the girl demanded, upset. Armin had never seen her like this, not even the day she protected Eren from Reiner and Bertholdt; and yet, she tried not to lose her temper.

"My problem? Pffft, my problem ..."

Drunken Eren couldn't believe that she didn't understand his complaint, and frustration hit him like a rock.

There was silence; Armin kept driving in the middle of an almost empty highway. It was 1 am.

And Armin did not trust all that calmness. There was always calm before the storm.

"All women are the same." Eren snapped a while later, in a loud voice, facing the window glass. Armin's frustration and helplessness made him shake his head, pissed off knowing that Eren wouldn't shut up. Mikasa sighed heavily, wondering how much more she could stand. "I thought you were different, but you're just the same ... You're just like Annie."

Mikasa heard her own teeth screeching at his comment.

A storm was about to break out.

"Don't compare me to her! I don't know what you're talking about but watch your tone with me, Jaeger!"

"Of course you know! You know what I mean. You and I were doing fine until you decided to let the horse get close to you. We have walked together under the rain; we've talked, we've ... We slept together and you …" Eren's words ran down his throat one by one as if he couldn't match his own words. And it was probably like that because of alcohol. It was clear that he was not thinking straight.

Mikasa was about to choke on her own breath.

"YOU AND I DID WHAT? Shit, Jaeger! Is alcohol flipping you out?" The girl's hoarse voice told Armin that this wasn't going to end well, while Mikasa's heart was beating so hard that it almost came out of her chest. "Tell me where do you get all that from!"

Alcohol had Eren completely numb; otherwise, he wouldn't have dared to keep on talking.

"Don't you remember? At Armin's, you and I ... You fell asleep, and I ... And I hugged you and ... Buuut of cooourse! You forgot it! How could you not forget it if you were thinking about that shithead? No, wait, I'm the shithead one. You call me that all the time. I am the asshole, the idiot. Little Miss Perfect would never hang out with someone like me because I'm a total dork for you ..."

Eren needed to breathe. Mikasa was open-mouthed as if trying to put together a puzzle. Her hands trembled.

"Armin, what is he talking about? I don't..."

Damn it.

It couldn't be happening to Armin, no. He didn't want to get stuck in the middle.

"I don't know, Mikasa. I found you guys ... asleep on the couch when I arrived home. But I think Jean would have looked better there with you than this idiot."

Silence.

Eren felt so offended that staying silent was his only reaction.

Mikasa opened her eyes, stunned, being a blushing mess.

"Armin! You bastard!" Eren shouted, hitting the back of his friend's seat. However, the blond boy did nothing about it.

Years of self-control would go right to shit.

Mikasa Ackerman never imagined that someone could make her lose her temper as Eren Jaeger would do with her at that moment.

Anger, frustration, shame, confusion, bewilderment ...

Too much to assimilate in a single day.

Her fists closed as her body was slightly trembling. She wanted to beat the shit out of him ... She wanted to...

Why didn't she dislike this mental picture of her being with him on the couch? Suddenly, Jean's image of him kissing her became Eren's.

She hated him.

No. She hated herself for not hating him.

"Yeah, I'm right: you are an idiot!" she exclaimed suddenly. Eren was sure that her eyes had darkened into a dense gray. "No, you're not an idiot; you're more than that. You are a pervert, a jerk, a stupid airhead. The same old asshole! I thought you had changed, that you matured, but no. And you never will, because your brain is too small to achieve something like that." Mikasa turned towards the door, trying to open it. She stopped. It was locked. "Armin! I'm getting off here!"

"B- But ... Mikasa! It's already midnight..."

"I don't care! I won't stand this jerk any longer!"

Armin stopped the vehicle at the edge of the highway.

Paf!

Something inside Eren erupted. Although only he noticed, as if his head exploded; so he opened his mouth before Mikasa could get off.

"You know what I think, Ackerman? I think you just wanna play the goody-goody Princess Innocent with me, being a sneaky, hypocrite woman. Being a good girl is just a facade of yours, when in fact you are a ..."

Eren didn't see it coming. A second later, his nose hurt like hell as he bled again, while he saw Mikasa's hand move away from his face to open the backseat door and go outside.

"And you know what? I did like it. I'm sure that horse, as you call him, kisses a thousand times better than you."

She slammed the door shut and walked away, taking the first miraculous taxi in sight at that time.

Armin shook his head.

"You fucked it up, Eren. You just crossed the line."

Eren threw back his head, trying to retain the blood that came out of his nostrils. As incredible as it seemed, she had broken his nose a second time, and this time it was entirely his fault too.

"You heard what she said?"

"I heard it, as well as I heard what you were about to tell her. If you like her, Eren, that's the worst way you can show it. I wouldn't be surprised if she chooses Jean over you."

"Don't mention that son of a bitch here. And I ... I don't like her!" the turquoise-eyed boy said, his voice shaking. Armin snorted bitterly.

"Of course. And I suck my thumb, don't I? If you didn't like her, you wouldn't have done this, Eren. But I'll let you be; You already have enough guilt for having insulted her."

Eren almost cried. Yes; as tactless as he was, alcohol made him worst, increasing even his mood swings. A rollercoaster: only thus could Eren's emotions be described at that moment. But he was too drunk to stop and think about what he had done. However, Mikasa's final words would spin in his head for the rest of the night.

Probably this time there would be no going back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_For some reason, the recently graduated cadet Levi Ackerman had been impatient to return home. It was winter; His birthday would be next day and only at dawn could he go back. That was the oddest December 24th he had ever seen. It was not snowing: it was pouring rain, and coldness in Shiganshina was unbearable._

_As if it could foreshadow the most terrifying catastrophe._

_The Ackerman residence had always been quiet. Huge, like all houses north of the city, with a huge garden where Levi had always liked to sit and sunbathe or read, avoiding at all costs the bustle that his younger sister and her dog caused by running by the whole place. Big brother senses or not, Levi had a special aversion to Mikasa's laughter, especially when he heard her close to Dante's bark, for that meant only one thing; something broken, or even worse: her dog's nasty and slimy tongue licking his face. The boy never understood why, but his sister's golden retriever always came back to him, no matter how much Levi hated him, and Mikasa seemed to take pleasure in it, seeing Levi pissed off while he was fiercely wiping away his face of the dog's saliva._

_"Don't be grouchy, Levi." his father told him. "Dante just wants to play."_

_Mikasa's laughter always came after that, and his mother's, and even his, when he gave up._

_They were a happy family. Mikasa had been happy and so was he._

_Until that night._

_The morning when Levi returned home he did not imagine he would find all this. Just as he never imagined that one day he would miss his younger sister bell-like laughter, and even his own._

_The first thing he saw was Dante in the living room, lifeless on the floor, covered in blood, and no sign of intruders. Someone had shot him in the face, destroying his snout almost completely. There was something inside the dog's mouth, but Levi did not have time to stop and check it; He was already dead anyway. Now his priority was his family._

_His heart beat hard at that moment. Fear and desperation filled his nervous system, as he went upstairs to his parents' bedroom ..._

_No. Mikasa. He had to go and check for Mikasa first; She was the youngest, the littlest one. A 12-year-old girl would not know how to defend herself. Levi turned to the left corridor and entered her pastel-colored room, illuminated by the sunlight that came in through the window. But she was not there._

_Levi left. Maybe they were not at home and some thieves had tried to enter in their absence. Yes, that should be; or at least that was what he expected to be. He just had to walk a little more; His feet weighed hard, like huge rocks, and so did his chest, oppressed by the burden of his growing uneasiness._

_"No no no no..."_

_It could not be him. Not his father._

_Samuel Ackerman laid at the end of the corridor as a crimson liquid flowed from his neck like a stream. Everything became heavy, even breathing; the young policeman felt oxygen pass through his lungs like a two-edged dagger, while he watched with twinkling pupils the corpse of the man who had engendered him._

_He did not need to touch him to know that breath had escaped that lifeless body long ago._

_Tears stung his eyes, but he didn't move an inch. His body did not respond in any way, until he saw his mother's corpse in the next room, lying in a pool of blood that reached the threshold and passed without shame between his feet. There was a girl on top of the woman, and that was when Levi's knees hit the ground violently before he fell out of breath, his soul on his lips._

_The pain was dense, physical and unbearable as if a black cloud laden with sharp lightning bolts had sifted inside. Or even worse._

_As if a rough hand was stuck in his chest to cruelly crush his entrails._

_Then he saw Mikasa breathe, and although it was not enough to recover from his burning torment, a part of his spirit returned with him._

_He went with her, woke her up and saw her red eyes. Mikasa had cried herself to sleep; he didn't need to guess it. He knew it. Just as he sensed that she had seen them die ..._

_But at least she was alive._

_On his knees, Levi crawled toward his sister, clinging desperately to the last one of his family. Unlike other times, Mikasa seemed light as a feather, even less childish. If innocence had weight, it probably had already left her. He stroked her long silky hair like his mother's and held her against his chest as if that might save her from some latent danger, or keep her forever with him._

_"Levi ..."_

_The girl's voice made him come back to himself after his eyes had been helplessly lost in the nothingness for what seemed an awful eternity._

_"I'm here."_

_It was the first time he heard their voices as sounds from beyond the grave, empty, frozen and lifeless._

_The light was gone from Mikasa's eyes, and surely also from his own._

_"I want to go with them." the girl whispered. With drooping eyelids and mournful expression, he closed his eyes again._

_"No. You'll stay with me and I will protect you, because I am your older brother."_

_"Why didn't you protect them?"_

_Levi wished Mikasa had not asked that question. But you can't go back in time. As if the pain that hammered their brains wasn't enough, she added it guilt._

_But she was just a kid. A child whose innocence had been drained of her along with her parents' blood, forming puddles on the floor. Their anguish was drowned in a scream that did not come out, but if they could have yelled, they would have knocked down each wall; each concrete block would have fallen on them, burying them in their own torment._

_Probably that was the best thing it could happen to them._

_And still, there was no voice to scream._

It had been years since the last time Captain Ackerman cried.

However, that afternoon, facing his office window as he watched the files, a couple of tears escaped his eyes as he remembered the most horrible of his mornings. The first ones in a long time, tears that got lost in the fabric of his pants as they fell on it.

He continued reading, as stoic as he was, as if none of those memories had crossed his mind. Because he had always thought it was better to keep them at bay. He had to suppress his feelings. There was no time for that; for him, that was the right thing to do.

And yet, it silently pained him to think how much Mikasa resembled the melancholic being he had become.

As he read, the captain observed photographies of tire tracks marked on the Ackerman's old home grass. He continued watching: his eyes moving vehemently over the images, causing his heart to run fast. Lines, marks, grass, blood; It was distressing, overwhelming, but he had to carry on, even if the ghosts of his past were right there in front of him, haunting him again.

_"I'll make them pay. Whoever it was, I swear I won't rest until I see them eating their own shit."_

It was impossible not to remember what he had promised his sister that morning, holding her in his arms, painfully witnessing how the last drop of innocence escaped her eyes.

Then his eyes saw it as a miracle that he never asked. A van, the only clue left unresolved, perhaps because of negligence or for a reason he did not understand at that time or then. They had overlooked it, all the tire tracks that were printed in front of the Ackerman residence and had been ignored, perhaps not finding enough evidence to scrutinize the evidence to the bottom. The Ford Transit van that was found on the outskirts of Shiganshina after leaving its marks all over the highway like a snake that sheds its skin, was now the key Levi needed to finally find the whereabouts, if not the murderer's, of one of the accomplices.

The clock struck 12 noon, and the captain felt a growl coming from his bowels; It was lunchtime.

Still, he ignored his stomach needs (which was not uncommon in him), and left his office, putting on his jacket to withstand the cold of mid-October autumn, and go in search of an automotive forensic engineer who could remove the clue. After that, he would visit a certain individual who probably wouldn't feel pleased to see him at all.

It was cold, pretty cold and it was raining a bit. Trost deserved to be called in those days "The city of the broken skies"; nostalgia ate him away to his core, spreading all over his thoughts.

Because seven years ago, Mikasa and he had decided they didn't like the rain at all.

* * *

"Faye, don't run".

Her babysitter's warning had to be enough. Faye knew when Mikasa was willing to ground her and when not, under Carla's orders, if the child did not behave. On those rainy days, only the parents' scoldings to their children were heard around the park, or, in her case, the nannies' scoldings to their kids. Don't run, don't push, don't jump, or you will slip and hit yourself. These were the adults' saying as they saw the children getting dirty in the mud like little pigs.

Okay. At least Mikasa wasn't in charge of washing Faye's clothes, but Carla wasn't going to like to see her daughter's clothes spoiled, even though she was wearing a raincoat. But when she was with her friends, Faye little thought of the consequences of disobeying his mother.

"Is that your nanny?" asked Gabi, Faye's classmate and the naughtiest one in her friends' circle. The big-eyed girl pointed insolently to the short-haired young girl with her index finger.

"Gabi! Don't be rude!" Falco Grice exclaimed, this shy kid who always seemed to follow Gabi like a little puppy. Faye loved making him blush by humming mocking hints about a courtship between them, making Gabi scream with rage while Falco couldn't find a safe hole to hide his head. The three of them splashed into the puddles in the park as they continued their childish conversation, followed by Gabi's dog.

"Yes. She's my nanny." Faye said, with some pride in her face and her voice. "She's like a supergirl: she can punch a bunch of men just with one hand." the girl declared, conceited, a hand on her waist as she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Liar. That's impossible." The distrustful Gabi's tweet made Faye frown.

"I am not a liar. She's my hero. She saved me the day these horrible men tried to kidnap me and threw them to the ground and hit them. They wept like babies. Mikasa is very strong."

Gabi shrugged. Faye continued splashing, sprinkling Falco with mud droplets spread by her rain boots.

"She looks as if dead. She doesn't even smile." Gabi commented, a deadpan and harsh expression on her face, trying to imitate Faye's nanny.

Faye took a breath to protest, but Falco stepped forward, already flushed beforehand.

"I think she's cute."

If Falco had been able to anticipate Gabi's fist on his shoulder, he would probably have remained silent, refraining from praising the beauty of his friend's babysitter.

"Well, ask her to be your girlfriend then, you idiot, if you like her so much."

"B- But ..."

Paf!

The boy fell into the mud puddle, hitting his ass very painfully. Faye burst out laughing; Gabi clapped her hands smugly after pushing him. A child her age could be cruel.

But a jealous child her age could become brutally cruel.

Mikasa watched the humiliating scene from the bench where she had sat, her arms crossed over her chest to warm herself up. She couldn't hear what the children said, but she could watch Faye from there without losing sight of her. Nor was she going to intervene; those two children were not under her care, and their parents were nearby. She had no intention of interfering in other people's business as long as Faye wasn't involved.

And she watched them for a while longer.  _Memories._  The rain forming playful puddles throughout the park and the smell of the wet earth brought back memories of a childhood that seemed far away, or perhaps invented, or perhaps from another world.

Mikasa could not remember clearly when was the last time she laughed as Faye had just done.

She also had a dog once. A loyal buddy who followed her everywhere when she was a child. She also had parents who took her to the park to play among the mud holes and a friend with whom she used to throw mud balls at each other until they were covered from head to toe.

She thought about her old school friends: Historia, Ymir; even about the rough Ymir, this freckled girl who was all sweetness only when it came to Hisu, but always defended all her friends with no distinction. She thought about Sasha and everything she had done for her when Mommy and Daddy were gone. About all the parties Sasha missed for staying with her while watching her cry or simply staring at the nothingness, waiting for a shooting star to fulfill her futile desire to see her parents again. About how much Sasha begged her father to let her go to Trost University when Mikasa won her scholarship, despite how expensive it was, just to be next to her best friend. Until the day she didn't cry anymore, and Sasha, as dense and oblivious and sweet as she was, thought that her best friend was healed from pain.

When in reality, the pain had only hardened around her, making up an invisible bubble.

Mikasa wondered again when was the last time she laughed, and she had no memory of it.

She was dead.

Empty.

She was capable of making the most beautiful musical sounds, but it wasn't enough. Her hands were prodigious, and at the same time a waste, a talent wasted in a gloomy and empty existence.

But then, she remembered someone.

She thought about this someone who had made her heart pound again in her chest like a bomb in a birdcage because of rage and frustration, of fear and expectation, as if she was alive, as if breathing was full of meaning.

That someone who had at least removed even the smallest of her nerves in the latest months.

That someone who at least made her feel a little less dead than before.

That someone who she hated so much sometimes and other times she just wanted to...

That someone whose sharped gaze and turquoise irises made her soul feel bare. That someone whose name had four letters.

And even in the middle of her sadness, she could taste unconsciously every edge of these letters.

A gust of wind blew hard and Mikasa shivered, hugging herself to rub her arms and keep herself warm. For many years she had been intolerant of cold, of the cold breeze that hit her skin inclemently, piercing the fabric of her clothes, as if mocking her. She hated autumn, she hated the rain and also the snow. She was always cold. Always.

She looked at Faye, and her pupils began to lose themselves in the nothingness, among furtive memories, until they were out of focus.

It was the first time she wondered if she would ever be able to live again.

* * *

One of the most unpleasant things for Eren recently was having to go to his parents' house. Although he didn't want to admit it, it was painful that his father ignored him when he saw him, like a cockroach. No, not even like a cockroach; they are persecuted to be exterminated, but at least they get some attention. It was worse; he ignored him as if he had never had a son named Eren Jaeger.

But he pretended he didn't care and continued with his life. He got used to it, after so many years of reproaches and latent disappointments.

Well, at least that day Grisha was not home. He spent more time on work trips than with his own family, which was a huge relief for the boy, knowing that he could look for his documents in peace instead of asking for them.

"Eren, don't leave anything in disarray. Save me problems with Grisha when he returns, ok?"

Carla's voice stopped him, before entering his father's office. No, his father? Better his donor; the one who donated the sperm so that he could be born, because that was not a father.

At least not for him.

Eren nodded, rolling his eyes as he took the doorknob to open the door. It was a miracle that Dr. Jaeger had not locked the studio before leaving for his work trip.

The boy entered. There were many books; hundreds of papers stacked on the side of the desk that not even the maid dared to touch when entering to clean. Everything was static, in the same place as always, and despite Grisha's absence, Eren had the impression that his father could appear there in a blink of an eye, as if sensing from afar that someone had invaded his private space. And despite that, he just shrugged; he would look for the documents he needed to join the pastry school and he would get out of there as fast as he could. It shouldn't take him too long though. His school records and that kind of stuff should be in the same box where family photos and albums were kept.

There it was, at his eyes level on the sideboard with all these monotonous and unattractive criminology books that Grisha used to read so much. Eren opened the box and checked to the bottom, laughing at some child pictures of him, after putting the papers he needed in his pants pocket, having made with them a deformed and deficient square. Typical of Eren. Better for him that Carla didn't notice that, or she would lecture him for being so sloppy.

Then the bug of curiosity stung him and he wanted to snoop through the drawers of Grisha's desk, like when he was a kid. The wood was cold, and when Eren wanted to open it, a loud crash was heard throughout the room, almost echoing, as if the desk hadn't wanted to be profaned. Well, there was nothing interesting in the first two, except for x-rays and other medical things that Eren didn't want to understand. Nothing in the third, nothing in the fourth one, or even in the fifth one …

The sixth one.

It was locked. Oh, no big deal. Zeke had taught him how to open locks with a paper clip; something very practical, if somebody asked. That's why he always wore a little clip in his pocket, in case he got stuck somewhere, or, in cases like this, he wanted to check something that was not his.

Eren was stubborn, and that determination could turn into an obsession. Once he started something, he could not stop. He grimaced, rolling his tongue to the side as he spun the long metal stick inside the keyhole until he felt the longed click that indicated the success of his mission.

Bingo.

Nah. Meh.

Sheets and more sheets, and a plastic bag with an airtight seal with a couple of photos inside. Eren's eyes got distracted over the papers' letters, just to go back at them more carefully.

A surname he had heard before (much more than he wanted) made its appearance in a corner of the most visible leaf.

Ackerman.

Oh.

Mikasa probably had some doctor relative he didn't know yet. Or probably she didn't.

Although if all the Ackerman were like that short, aggressive policeman she called her brother, he preferred to stay away.

When Eren looked more closely, he realized not all documents were medical.

"Eren! Dinner is ready!" Carla shouted from somewhere in the corridor. Maybe from the stairs.

"Coming!" he replied, without taking his eyes off the paper he had seen. Impulsive as he was, his first thought was to remove the page from the folder where it was filed and keep it, like the other documents, in one of his pockets, together with the plastic bag. His father would not notice; They seemed to be very old papers, and he just wanted to ask her if those papers had anything to do with her parents.

Well, ask her? Really, Eren? That was just an excuse to get close to her. He had not seen her in several days and it …

It worried him.

Yes. Shit.

It worried him.

She was still pissed at him. That was for sure. Because he was an ass to her and, apparently he was even more so when he was close to her.

Eren closed the drawer after leaving everything as it was supposed to be. A corner of his brain wondered how he could stop being such an idiot and fix what he had done while closing the studio door behind him.

"Did you find what you needed?" Carla asked when she saw him walking towards the table. Eren nodded and took a seat in front of her.

"Did you cook today?" Eren had already eaten a spoonful when he asked his question, tasting the food.

"Yes."

"Hmm. It's very good. I haven't tried anything made by you in a long time, ma." he said, with his mouth full. Carla wanted to smile, but she frowned instead.

"Thank you very much, Eren, but I suggest you to swallow before you speak. Why can't you stop that nasty habit?"

Eren grumbled although he wasn't upset. A gulp was heard on the table when the boy swallowed his mouthful, and Carla shook her head.

"Well, moving on, where's Faye? Won't she have dinner with us? I haven't seen her since I arrived, nor Mik -..." Eren coughed. "Her nanny."

Carla raised an eyebrow but said nothing of what she was thinking about.

Eren's ears had turned red, like when he was lying or hiding something.

"They must be on their way here. Faye said that she and her friends would play in the park, so Mikasa took her with them."

"Today? It's a rainy day. I thought you wouldn't let her out on rainy days." Eren commented while eating. His mother tilted her head suspiciously, slightly opening her honey-colored eyes.

But she would not say anything of what she thought until then either.

"Mikasa is with her. So I have nothing to worry about."

"Hmm. I see. You trust that girl very much."

"Why not? She has won my trust and Faye loves her as an older sister. She is responsible, polite, honest and very kind, although she doesn't talk much. I would like to have a daughter-in-law like her one day."

Carla lowered her head to hide her smirk. Not only Eren's ears were red now, but also his cheekbones.

He thanked heaven that his mother was not looking at him at that moment. Ugh, he hated feeling like a teenager when Carla made that kind of comments.

But he hated more the heat that built up inside his stomach when they talked about Mikasa and that it increased when he was close to her. Hell, what an annoying and odd thing. What could he do to get rid of that feeling?

The sound of forks and spoons filled the dining room for a moment. Carla watched her older son carefully, remembering how much he had grown up.

"I'm happy that at last you can do what you always wanted, son." Said the brown-haired woman. Eren looked up, somewhat shocked by his mother's words.

"For real?" he asked. She nodded. "I thought you didn't agree with that..."

"It's not that I like it so much that you're going to become a cook- ..."

"Chef." Eren corrected.

"Chef." she corrected, apologizing with a nod. "But it's fine if that's what you want."

Eren sighed.

"In a way, Mom, Grisha was right: I couldn't stay my whole life being a good-for-nothing."

"You are not a good-for-nothing, my love. You just had to get your things straight and know what was best for you." The mother stretched her hand to her son's and squeezed it, stroking his knuckles with her thumb. Eren already had adult man hands, and that made her feel nostalgic. "Someday your father will see how wrong he was. You know I never agreed with him and I'm still upset by everything he told you the day you left; That's why I want you to prove to him that you're not a disappointment. I will always be proud of you, no matter what."

Carla wished her dining table had been less large so she could stretch out and kiss her son. But instead, she smiled at him. And him to her.

"Thanks, Mom."

Eren had never been the kindest son, but at least he was calling her  _'ma'_  again.

"You're welcome, my love." There was a pause. The mother sighed. "I am impressed of how much you have matured in these last months. I don't know what kind of god-like power will have achieved something like that, but I have a lot to thank it for," she commented, giggling. Eren shook his head with a half smile on his lips.

"You also thought I was going to be an ass all my life, don't you?"

"No offense, honey, but you weren't the most sensible child and that worried me. I have always understood your free spirit, my love, but you can't be a tactless rebel for life."

Eren nodded, head down. He was still a tactless asshole though.

_Mikasa._

"Well, sometimes I can't help it and I end up hurting a few people in the process ..."

"What do you mean?"

That  _I-know-everything_  or  _I-sense-everything-because-I'm-your-mother's_ tone made Eren's teeth grind.

"Nothing. Sometimes I do nonsense."

Carla narrowed her eyes.

"Just that?"

"Yes."

They continued eating. Carla knew well when her son did not want to talk anymore.

"Mom ..." he called her a while later.

"Yes?"

"When you get mad at Grisha, what does he do to make things up between you two?"

Eren didn't expect his mother to make a pout of annoyance at his question. She twisted her mouth in disgust. She seemed disappointed.

-"You fought with your girlfriend and want to make things up, don't you?"

"My girlfriend?" Eren leaned back a little, half confused.

"The blonde girl. Anna."

"Oh, Annie. Well, she and I are no longer dating. We broke up some time ago, actually."

Carla put her hand to her chest, sighing, relaxing her shoulders.

"Thanks, God. Thanks," she whispered to herself. But Eren heard it, though he didn't care. "I won't ask you why, but you know I'm glad. So, what is the reason for your question?"

Eren shrugged, swallowing another spoonful.

"Curiosity."

Here they go, his ears reddening again. His mother raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm. I see. Well, lately your father has been busier than usual, but when he wants, he's very sweet. He knows how much I like flowers, so when I get mad at him, he always brings me the strangest he can find; where does he get them? I don't know, but they are very beautiful. So he comes, cuts one from the bouquet, puts it behind my ear and kisses me on the cheek. After that, we went out to dinner and then ..."

Carla was silent and cleared her throat, realizing she couldn't say much more. She chuckled and continued eating. Eren snorted, annoyed. The image of his parents in bed was not pleasant at all.

"Ugh," he complained. "That was enough information, mom. But thanks anyway."

His mother wanted to mock him, but she ended up taking a sip of wine from her glass. Eren imitated her, and that was when they heard the doorbell ring. The maid immediately flew into the lobby to open, and they heard Faye's voice at the entrance.

"Mom! We're home!"

"We are in the dining room, Faye!" Carla answered. Ten seconds later, Carla stifled a moan, absolutely disappointed. Her daughter was all covered in mud. "Faye! What did I tell you before you left?"

"It was not her fault, Mrs. Jaeger." Mikasa intervened before they could see her. "A girl pushed her into the mud." Mikasa made her appearance, holding an umbrella in her left hand. She didn't notice how Eren's eyes lit up when he saw her, nor did she notice his presence. Carla sighed, noticing the slight emotion her son was hardly trying to hide.

"Ah, It's okay. Faye, go upstairs then and get a bath. You will have dinner when you have changed clothes."

"Ok mommy." said the girl, stomping away as she left muddy footprints on the bright floor that was so hard for the maid to clean. "Mikasa, did she behave?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And who was this girl who pushed her?"

Mikasa narrowed her eyes, trying to remember.

"Hmm ... I think her name is Gabi. She's kinda..."

"Spoiled. Yes, a spoiled child. I already know her. But it's a family thing, isn't it, Eren? Being that boy's cousin, Reiner, you can expect anything but that." Carla mentioned with disgust. Mikasa had turned to where Eren was, but she looked away from him as soon as he looked at her.

"Eh ... Yeah, I think so," he replied. "Hello." He said shyly to Mikasa. His mother had never seen him like this before.

"Hi," she said, scornfully. "Mrs. Jaeger-..."

"Mikasa, please ..."

"Ugh, yes. I always forget it. I'm sorry ... Carla, I'm leaving ..."

"You're leaving? Won't you have dinner with us?"

Mikasa stammered. The invitation had caught her by surprise.

"Eh ... Well, it's just that ... I have to study ..."

"Mikasa, it's a little late already. And I doubt you'll eat anything when you get home, so sit down, and I want no buts, okay?"

Carla was always kind, sweet, but Mikasa knew that in spite of that, she couldn't contradict her. Anyway, the woman cared for her, and accepting her invitation was the least she could do to thank her.

Although she didn't like the idea of sitting with Eren at the same table.

Uncomfortable. Pretty uncomfortable.

"Hmm. It's okay."

And Mikasa took a seat and ate with them, despite Eren's gazes and Carla's smirks. For a change, the dark-silver eyed girl ended up realizing that not every day was so gray after all, and that somehow, Carla made her feel that she was someone's daughter.

At the same time, Eren knew that he should make things up with her as soon as possible. But he had no idea how to do it. Mikasa was never the easiest girl.

He had to talk to Armin.


	20. A bad day isn't always bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize beforehand for some possible grammar mistakes. Remember that Im not a native english speaker, please. Hope you like this chapter.

The police patrol parked in front of an establishment with a broad facade and dark walls, north of Trost. Written in cursive typography inside a neon sign always on at night, the word  _INCUBUS_  greeted every customer in a scandalous way. Levi grumbled silently, annoyed by the nightclub's ostentation as he closed the door of his car and walked towards the entrance. Because it was not only lavish but also ridiculous: who on earth could think that giving such a pretentious name as  _Incubus_  to a disco would be a good idea? The captain rolled his eyes at his thought and put the keys in his pocket as he walked. A security guard tilted his head before the approaching policeman.

"Can I help you, sir?"

Levi showed his police ID card in response. That was enough for the guard to step away from the door.

"Captain Levi Ackerman, Trost police department. I'm looking for Zeke Jaeger." Levi deadpanned. The guard was visibly taller than he was, but the captain was intimidating enough to make his height go unnoticed. His steel-colored eyes, a little lighter than Mikasa's, were a silent threat to anyone who decided to face him.

"Sir, the boss is not here now, but his brother is inside. You can wait for him if you want; He'll be here soon."

Levi frowned and looked at his wristwatch.

"How long it will take him to get here? I don't have all day."

"Maybe half an hour at most."

Captain Ackerman arched the left corner of his mouth, annoyed. He didn't like waiting, but this was important.

"All right," he answered, before taking a step forward so that the guard let him pass. The door closed behind him as soon as he was inside, and his eyes had to get used to the disharmonious darkness of that enormous room, only lightened up by two dim electric light bulbs, one in the middle of the room, and the other one for the liquor bottles shelf. There was no one in sight, but Levi sensed that Zeke Jaeger's brother would be nearby, judging by the noises he heard behind the bar.

The throat clearing that came from the captain's vocal chords echoed throughout the room to get the attention of whoever was there. However, the bottles hit so hard that he doubted they would listen to him.

"Ahem." Levi snapped again, a little stronger than before. A brown, messy and long-haired head put out behind the bar, right before a pair of very bright green eyes. The captain grumbled; he had seen that face before, but he also had punched it. "You?" He grunted severely as soon as he saw the boy, while all colors and spirit escaped swiftly from Eren's body, making him go pale.

Eren stammered before he could utter a word.

_Shit._

"S- Sir! ..."

The short cop with the undercut and hair as bright and black as his younger sister's snorted. His steel eyes were narrowed in a bitter expression that made Eren swallow. The youngest Jaeger didn't know if it was a family thing or not, but both Mikasa and her older brother owned that disdainful expression on their faces that stated:  _me here and you there_ , at best; or this one that vehemently insulted anyone who dared to desecrate their tranquility, almost screaming:  _you are a nasty worm and I have the right to step on you_. However, the captain's was much worse; Eren got the impression that he could slap him at any moment without even making a single movement.

"Tch. Don't tell me you're Zeke Jaeger's brother …" The captain's nasal, reverberating voice reached his ears as if it came with some bad news. Eren frowned, leaving a bottle of some expensive liquor on the bar.

"Y- Yes, sir. But ... Are you going to take me somewhere? I did nothing wrong …" The trembling in the boy's voice was barely noticeable. But there was nothing that could escape an Ackerman's shrewdness. Levi scoffed bitterly to himself.

"Don't be stupid, kid. I'm looking for your brother. He's got a bone to pick with me."

Eren's face seemed to go back to normal, with everything and colors. But he got the impression that the policeman's contempt for him had drastically increased.

_That happens because you don't know how to treat women._

"Well, he's not here, but you can- ..."

"Wait for him. That's why I came in, you shitty brat." Levi replied, sitting in one of the chairs before the bar, even closer to the boy. A breath got stuck in Eren's throat, because this short man's presence was as intimidating as a nearby swarm of bees buzzing. "Tell me, do you have something to drink?" He asked coolly as if he had forgotten who the boy was. Eren stuttered. Again.

"I- I..."

"Are you in need of speech therapy, boy? You should see a doctor. Babbling is not normal."

Eren sighed. He needed to calm and cool down.

"Sir, I thought you came here to whack me again."

Levi raised an eyebrow in a sour and suspicious expression.

"Why should I? Unless you've tried to be around her again."

 _Yes_.

"No ... No, sir."

"Are you sure, brat?"

This Mikasa's male version was much more imperious and bossy than her; maybe a little more apathetic and less temperamental. But just as intimidating, no doubt about it. The guttural sound that escaped from Eren's throat made Levi twist his mouth, not so convinced.

"I have water and black coffee, sir. The rest is just alcohol."

Levi said nothing but pointed to the coffee machine that dripped the intense and irresistible bitterish aroma of coffee. He was lucky to find a bit of his favorite drink, because since Hanji's cravings began, he hadn't been able to drink a single drop.

But that did not distract him from noticing that the brat in front of him had wanted to ignore the girl's issue.

Levi took a sip of coffee. It was hot, bitter, and sugar low, just the way he liked it. But it didn't stop him from looking at Eren suspiciously over the edge of the cup.

"Tell me just one thing, child."

"Sir?"

"Shit." the captain complained, rolling his eyes. "Are you fucking deaf too? I already understand why Mikasa beat the shit out of you. You're a dork."

It was the first time that Eren allowed himself the privilege of being outraged by that grumpy cop. He frowned and curled his hands in fists, leaving aside the bottles he ordered in boxes.

"She didn't punch me. She had nothing to do with the brawl you found me in."

Levi snorted.

"Let's say I believe you. Now tell me, why was she there?"

Eren was torn between telling the truth or not.

"It was ... just by chance, sir. I was fighting with a couple of idiots who owed me something, and my friend Armin and she were passing by, so they intervened. I never wanted her to get involved in that. It wasn't right."

That disdainful and skeptical steel look the captain gave him made him swallow hard.

"Hmm. And who's the responsible for the scar on her cheek?"

 _Gulp_. Again.

_You have to tell the truth, Eren._

Eren was slow to answer the question.

"It... It was me, sir. But I swear I didn't mean to do that. I ... I wouldn't dare to touch her."

_Not in that way._

Eren sometimes wished that his conscience was not so vehement.

Levi took another sip of his coffee, his gaze piercing the hesitant temper of the boy in front of him. It was like an adamantine drill that stuck in his brain trying to overpower him.

But no. Eren wouldn't let that happen. He was not a coward; never had been, and he wouldn't be one now.

"Why am I supposed to believe you? I know what you've done so far and that you've been a little shit with her. Do I have reasons to trust your words?"

Eren was slow to respond, his eyes on the ground.

"No, sir."

Levi nodded, not in approval, but in warning.

"This being so, I hope you've managed to stay away from her."

The turquoise-eyed boy did not say a word after that. But he was sure that if the captain had seen him cross his fingers behind his back in a sincere mental promise not to follow his orders, he would not have hesitated to give him the beating of his life once again.

The club's door rang again, and both looked up at the blinding light of the cold autumn sun that was already beginning to wane, darkening the faint light bulbs, making them squint. Eren was the first one to notice the shape of the middle-aged man with the silver beard that ran through the entrance and closed the door, making them go back to the poorly lit darkness of the bar.

"Zeke." His brother called him. Zeke moved forward, still not noticing the presence of the uniformed police officer sitting in front of the bar. He removed his glasses, while his eyes adjusted to the opacity. Then he saw him, the raven-haired man, with his back to the entrance; the stranger showed zero interest in his arrival, and he felt uncomfortably bewildered. How rude was this cop not to turn to him when he heard him arrive. Pretty rude of him. He would send a complaining letter to Trost police department about their staff's lack of education.

"Eren, is there any news?"

There was no audible response, except for the youngest Jaeger, who pointed silently to the man in front of the bar.

Levi turned around without hesitation, his face as expressionless as ever, holding the coffee cup in his right hand with an elegance and firmness that belonged only to those of his lineage.

Seeing him like that, it was hard to believe that this shorty could be as strong as violent.

Zeke froze in his place, about three steps before he could reach the counter as if a blizzard had numbed him to the last of his nerves.

Shit, shit, shit.

Seven years. Seven damn years and that cop didn't forget him. He had already paid his sentence; fully. What else did he want from him?

Why did people of short height seem to be the most merciless and ruthless?

Probably because they were a few inches closer to hell.

"Jaeger, I hope you haven't forgotten about me." It was the first thing that came out of the captain's mouth, mocking silently about the silver-bearded man's horrified face. But Levi Ackerman was too good at hiding his emotions, so nobody noticed.

A deadly and abysmal silence settled over them for a while.

Someone let out a nervous cough (of course, it wasn't Levi), as they heard footsteps that seemed to go nowhere.

"Eren, take money from the cash register and go buy whatever we need for tonight." It was the first time Eren heard such a thin and hesitant voice come out of his older brother's mouth.

"But ... Pieck said that ..."

"Do what I say."

Period. Nothing to discuss. Although Eren was dying to know what the hell happened between those two, but judging by both of their faces, it was better not to contradict the orders. Zeke was still mad at him over the incident a few weeks ago, so it was better to leave as quietly as he could.

Eren left and the door slammed behind him, leaving the two old acquaintances alone. Only then, did Zeke open his mouth.

"What do you want from me?..."

Levi raised his hand to tell him to be quiet. With a deadpan expression, the captain took a paper envelope with a couple of photos from his pocket.

"I came here just for one reason, Jaeger: repeat exactly the events you described seven years ago in the trial, based on this evidence."

Zeke put his glasses back on. Somehow, he now looked much older than he actually was. His forehead was wrinkled, and his eyes twinkled with a cheeky nervousness.

"I said everything I knew. I said absolutely everything and I don't know what else you want."

Zeke watched the policeman as he took his hand to the spot where his gun rested, so he swallowed hard. But instead of slipping there, the captain moved his fingers to his other pocket, taking from it a small storage card, holding it between his index and thumb as he pointed to Zeke's direction.

"This little thing you see here contains videos of your trial as a witness and accomplice in the death of Samuel and Tamara Ackerman. Tell me about the surname you mention before your last two interrogations and the van you see in the photos. You know what I'm talking about. There's a possibility that you are threatened with death, so I understand why you didn't tell us all back then, but you will now, is that clear?"

Grisha Jaeger's eldest son stifled a sigh. He stroked his beard, took a few steps forward and put his hands to his head.

"I told you that's all I know." Zeke's eyes danced from side to side, restless and blinking. "There's nothing more- ..."

"Speak, and I'll make sure no one touches you, Jaeger. This is much fucking bigger than I thought, and I won't afford to lose the only witness I have. Make your mind up: you work with us to get to the bottom of this and I'll watch your back, or I continue on my own and, the further the investigation goes, the greater your danger. I give you two minutes to decide."

With an unusual calm, Levi Ackerman stared at his wristwatch, counting down the remaining time. Zeke's forehead flashed against the light, bathed in tiny sweat droplets that threatened to slip down his nose and embarrass him even more, humiliating him.

120 seconds left.

Damnit. Was that possible? Could he humble himself more before the man who had beaten him in the past in reprisal for his attempt to run away from the police the day they went for him to his deceased mother's house?

100 seconds left.

Poor Dina, how much she had suffered, wondering what her only begotten child had done to be vilified so ruthlessly. The sick woman watched how her son was reduced to a mass of walking flesh, and then taken to a cell like a stray dog, with no rights other than a call and the silence that gave him the guilt not yet proven.

80 seconds.

Where was Grisha when his son needed him? Right, with his other family, in another city, while she was dying slowly, a victim of cancer and its whims, and her son, her beloved Zeke, was about to rot in jail.

50.

Zeke sighed for a long time, almost in agony, racking his brains for the best answer.

30.

He looked at the captain, who was already standing to leave.

20.

Levi put the coffee cup on the bar and put his files back in his pants pocket.

10.

The captain walked towards the exit. It was now or never.

5.

The door opened, blinding the two pairs of eyes again, with the sunlight a little dimmer than before. It was almost evening.

3.

A long sigh of dying tones echoed throughout the room that in a few hours would be full of lights, music, and young foolish adults.

"Leonhardt." He uttered, a nasal, deep and rhythmic voice that resounded in the captain's ears. Levi stopped before the door slammed shut behind him, looking over his shoulder at the only man left there.

"You have my word."

 

* * *

 

 

Why? Why of all the things in the world did that have to happen to her now? Only one week before her recital, Mikasa mourned the so theatrical way her old violin had fallen from the campus second floor, breaking the pegs and the tuning fork almost in pieces. It was unbelievable. How could she be so careless? First was her motorcycle, then her phone (hopelessly fucked just as the evidence against Kenny) and now this. If she had been a little less patient, Mikasa Ackerman would have locked herself in one of the girls' toilets to mourn and weep her terrible fate. But no, she was level-headed, rational, focused, so much so that seeing her so calm after such a catastrophe drove Sasha nuts. The clock ticked, and the concert day where the Conservatory of Music's model student would be the star was coming closer. Sasha Braus, instead, would have gone bald after plucking each hair from her scalp with her own hands, because of despair. But that was not Mikasa. Definitely not.

"I'll find a luthier." she said after the accident, with the shattered violin on her legs. This would be her third time to mend it, in fact. But she couldn't ask too much; It had been four years since she bought it. And with everything and sorrows, she thanked heavens that it still sounded good.

"Well, you must start looking for them now." Sasha roared, arms crossed, her traverse flute hidden in the juncture of her left arm. Mikasa looked at her friend's instrument for several seconds and sighed: it was a pity that violins couldn't be made of metal.

"I'm fucked," she muttered underneath her breath. Sasha nodded vehemently, much to Mikasa's surprise, for she didn't intend to be heard.

"Mhm. You are, But c'mon, we can ask Professor Shadis where to find a luthier, or Google up for one."

A pair of silver irises stuck into the irretrievably broken wood of the instrument. She sighed again, wondering if this time she could resurrect it.

"Mikasa?" she heard behind her, and the next second, a warm hand on her shoulder. The midday sun shadowed the face of the person who stood behind her for a moment until she could see clearly, using her own hand as a visor.

"Armin!" she exclaimed, a little more excited than usual when she saw her friend there. Then she stood up and he hugged her, making her blush slightly. Technically, that was their first hug, as quick as he expected it to be, but Armin Arlert liked Mikasa Ackerman so much that he could not miss the chance to give her a warm hug. The blond boy knew that this was a privilege of a few.

"Hi, Miki." He said when they pulled away, with a wide smile that narrowed his eyes. "Hello, Sasha."

"Hi, Armin." said the girl with brown hair and lively face.

"What are you doing here?" Mikasa intervened. "Shouldn't you be in class at this time?"

"Indeed, this is my new campus. The Architecture campus is under renovation, so we have moved here for a while." the boy replied, his voice now a little deeper and darker than it had been in his early teenage years. Mikasa's eyes seemed to smile at the news, although her mouth did not move much. One of the things Armin liked about his friend was that she didn't say much, but her eyes screamed for her. That was how he knew Mikasa was as happy to have him there as he was.

"That's great. We can talk more often now."

"Pfff." Sasha's mocking snort seemed to break with the frail tranquility that accompanied a conversation when she was in the middle. "Poor Armin. His gravestone epitaph will say:  _here lies Armin Arlert, the boy who died waiting for Mikasa Ackerman to say more than five words in an hour_." a laughter sealed the joke as she made Armin laugh too, while the raven-haired girl glared at both of them. Her blond friend cleared his throat, while Sasha, already used to her glares, kept cackling until tears stung the corner of her eyes. Armin fixed his eyes on the broken instrument in his friend's hands.

"Oh-oh ..." he gasped. "It's all fucked Mikasa. Isn't your recital in a week?" Mikasa nodded sadly, curling her lips. "What are you going to do?"

"She needs a luthier. A person who fixes violins and stuff like that." Sasha said without hesitation. Armin frowned thoughtfully. And a few seconds later, he snapped his fingers.

"Hey, my grandfather knows one. He could make a good discount if you tell him that Gerard Arlert sent you. The only problem is that he lives in ... Well, it's not a very safe place. I think I'll have to go with you after school."

"No. Just tell me where it is and I'll go now."

That determination that arose from Mikasa at times could be terrifying. It reminded him a bit of Eren's, though a little less passionate.

"But ... It's dangerous ..." Armin's eyebrows arched in a dread grimace. "You can't go alone," he concluded, watching her sigh.

"Armin, no offense, but-..."

Silence.

"No biggie, you're right. You are strong, Mika." Armin was quick to write the address on a piece of paper, remembering that Mikasa no longer owned a smartphone. "That's it. I doubt you'll get lost, but you should be careful."

Mikasa nodded hastily, keeping her wretched violin in its case to take the keys of her bike out of her pocket.

"Thanks, Armin. I owe you one. Sasha, can you cover me in the Ear Training class?" Sasha nodded.

"But you owe me a Big Mac, Mikasa," she replied, making her friend roll her eyes. Armin laughed at both of them.

"You should teach me how to fight, Mika."

"We have a deal. See you later, guys," she said and left, on her way to the campus parking lot. In fact, Ragako was not the best neighborhood in Trost, but it wasn't something she should worry about. She was more concerned about the rain that threatened to fall every day, much to her chagrin; however, there was no rain that day, nor strong wind, nor chilly breezes that seemed to come from the cold damn poles. Her violin came as safe and sound as possible to the luthier's place, and it would take them one or two days to repair it.

Well, at least they could repair it. But that was the last time, no doubt.

Mikasa was on her way to college when a familiar face caught her eye, across the way in Dauper Street.

Well, it was only Annie Leonhardt's father, leaving a shop to get in a black and armored van with tinted windows ...

And Kenny was after him.

Why did they always have that icky suspicious air when looking everywhere before entering a specific place?

That was it. This time she was going to succeed.

.

The squeaky sound of the Dodge Ram tires ground in Mikasa's ears. She clenched her teeth at the unpleasant noise and started her motorcycle, ready to chase her uncle no matter where the suicide mission took her. She put on her helmet and speeded up, and she didn't care if Kenny saw her. Levi was going to kill her, but that was better than letting Kenny continue playing his tricks. No. Not this time; she would chase him and call his brother as soon as she could. To hell with it; a scum like her uncle did not deserve to be free in the streets.

Because whatever Kenny and John Leonhardt were up to, it wouldn't be lawful at all. But that was not what mattered to her.

Deep down, Mikasa had certain suspicions.

Suspicions that had haunted her for seven years.

.

"Kenny." said one of the men with him inside the van. The old and sneaky Ackerman counted a bunch of bills with bright eyes and a crooked smile that bordered on lust. Because there was nothing that Kenny Ackerman loved more than money; if he could, he would have made love to money, to every bill, to every coin, even if his life depended on it. That huge his love was, and that lacking his scruples.

"Hmm?" he muttered, without raising his head. He remained lost in every bill, admiring the beauty of each one of them. Thick, large bills, hundreds of brown, red, green gold sheets, just as he liked them.

"Kenny, that bike's been after us for a long time."

Everyone, except the driver, looked at the road they left behind through the rearview mirror.

"Motherfucking girl." Kenny barked, emerging reluctantly from his financial fascination, pretty annoyed. "That brat is a bump in the ass. Go faster, Floch. I have no time to deal with her."

"You should teach her a lesson, Kenny. That way she will learn to back the hell off."

Kenny groaned, twisting his mouth.

"Not now. But I can leave her up to you. You can have a lot of fun with a chick like her."

The demonic smiles drawn on their repulsive criminal faces were shocking, worthy of a gunshot as a prize for the most despicable human trash on earth.

A guffaw was heard inside the vehicle.

"Are you offering your own niece to those pieces of shit, Kenny?" John Leonhardt barked. Kenny counted his bills again in the comfort of his seat without any remorse. Then he shrugged.

"If the little bitch doesn't learn, she needs to be taught a lesson. But not today. Let's leave her behind. She won't come after us because her junky bike is not working well, and I don't have time to deal with stupid teenagers." despicable Kenny replied, devoid of all conscience and humanity, with a hoarse and somber voice.

"You saw, Floch? All the fun we will have with her. I hope she's a virgin. They are the tightest. I'm sick of whores." the fourth of them roared, as a wave of guffaws followed his words while the Dodge accelerated, leaving behind the Kawasaki Ninja 300.

"That little bitch is a cold-blooded frigid, just like her brother, so it's likely she would." Kenny moistened his fingers to keep counting his small fortune. "A quick warning: if you try to grab her, there must be three of you. The girl is tough and strong. She won't be an easy prey. After all, she's an Ackerman." He concluded, like a teacher to his apprentice. The van was lost along the highway, towards a clandestine destination.

As much as Mikasa wanted, she couldn't keep track of them; Her motorcycle was not so fast.

Although that didn't stop her from crashing with a white BMW 320 when she turned around the corner, trying to continue her hunt.

"Shit!"

When the girl opened her eyes after the impact, her right foot had been trapped under her bike. It hurt like hell, but at least she was strong enough to get free of her own vehicle. People started crowding around the corner, watching curiously the girl with the accident. It was a miracle that she hadn't been trapped between the white car and her own motorcycle. She took off her helmet to breathe and see better. Well, at least it had protected her from the blow to the head.

"Mikasa?"

"Eren?"

The way they called each other's names punched their pride hard.

But this was a different kind of punch; the kind of punch that a cold breeze gives you when you're sweating seas, or like a cold water shower on a summer day.

A nice blow indeed.

The younger of the Ackerman thought that destiny just wanted to make fun of her.

It didn't take her long to realize that she had bumped into Eren. How many times had that happened already? Two? Three? She didn't know, but it was a creepy fact. Among so many galaxies, novas, planets, countries, cities, and people, Mikasa always ended up running into him and no one else than him, as if there was a kind of force -evil force, perhaps- that pushed them to meet again. Although she wanted to avoid it.

Or didn't she?

The way Eren's eyes locked on hers caused a stimulating electric current to go down her spine.

"Holy fuck, your foot ..."

When Mikasa heard his warning, she realized she was bleeding. Her gray eyes widened in front of the crimson liquid that came out from her trousers.

"Shit."

The impromptu gossipers' gathering crowded on top of the girl, almost suffocating her. It was Eren who had to scare them away, frowning and pissed, before lifting her up to carry her to his car. She couldn't walk, let alone drive again.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a thin voice when the boy put his warm arms under her and thus be able to lift her off the ground. Warm. His body was warm and so was he; his tanned skin and his arms strong, imposing. Everything about him contrasted with her, against the usual coldness of her body, against her skin pale as the snow that would begin to fall in a few weeks; they were so different, so unequal, so ridiculously nonsensical...

"You don't expect me to leave you lying here, do you? Even if you wanted it, which is most likely, I couldn't do it."

Eren's answer was simple, like everything in him, without complications and odd setbacks. He was all straightforward, with no borders, no masks, as raw as possible. And Mikasa looked closely at the turquoise liquid in his eyes, and how the afternoon sunlight reflected on them ...

They were so ridiculously nonsensical that the harmony they caused together was strident, sonorous, intense, and almost perfect. Nevertheless, Armin would have said that they were both too stupid to notice.

"I can walk on my on," she whispered, keeping her eyes on his profile as Eren looked straight ahead.

"Nah-ah. You can't, so don't be silly," he replied, managing to open the door of his car with one hand not to let her fall. He made her sit in the passenger seat as subtly as he could, and then he closed the door. Mikasa looked at her foot again: it hurt like hell and her pants had ripped. Damn it, those things just happened to her.

She saw Eren had a little words with some random man among the spectators, giving him something that looked like money, and then they both lifted the motorcycle to slide it on a board with wheels and take it to the BMW's back. She understood what he was doing: Eren would hook the bike to the back of his vehicle to make it run with them, instead of leaving it there. Mikasa sighed and thanked him in silence, as she watched the boy's torso surrounding the car until he opened his door.

A few weeks ago, she had punched Eren's face, leaving on very bad terms with him.

This time, she just wanted to ...

"All right." Eren Jaeger's rough and thick voice brought her out of her thoughts. His manly hands held the steering wheel tightly, and his eyes were fixed on the road that broke through in front of them. "Let's go. I'll buy a few things to treat your wounds; I hope it isn't deep."

Mikasa said nothing. With her right foot on her left thigh, she still stared in horror and pain at the wound caused by her trip partner.

Eren looked at her at last, losing himself for a while in the profile of her little-pointed nose and her thick lashes that moved in a steady pace as she blinked and gasped, defeated.

 _I hope you've managed to stay away from her._  The captain's voice hammered in his head. But Eren got rid of Levi's words from his mind as fast as he could.

_Fuck. You won't give up on her, Jaeger._

"Fuck it." He repeated aloud, before noticing what he was doing.

"Uh?" Mikasa asked, looking up at him, completely oblivious to what he was thinking about.

Eren faked a cough and lit the car, avoiding her gaze as soon as his turquoise eyes met the dense, dark and liquid silver of hers.

"Nothing." he snapped. "I'll stop at a pharmacy, so let me know when you see one."

Mikasa nodded. There was a warm, fluttering gurgle in the pit of her stomach that threatened to grow, the more she looked at the boy next to her.

There was silence while Eren started the way, until he decided to break it.

"What were you doing around here?" he asked, looking straight ahead. The road was clear that time afternoon.

"Hmm ... My violin broke and I was looking for someone who could repair it. I think I drove fast and I didn't notice your car until I crashed."

"You were distracted, that's for sure."

"I think so."

"Well, shit happens. I'm glad it wasn't worse."

It was as if they didn't want to look at each other. He seemed ashamed and she was confused, still not understanding the chances and whims of the universe.

Silence.

Eren cleared his throat.

"Isn't it curious?" he asked, winning back the girl's attention.

"What?"

"Well, you and I always argue, but we end up running into each other."

"Yeah ... It's... curious." The warm gurgling of her belly rose to her face as she spoke. But she wasn't willing to say more.

She just hoped he didn't realize how red her cheeks were.

"What if..."

Eren stopped. Mikasa waited for him, but he said nothing.

"What if...?" she insisted, slightly tilting her head, her eyes on him.

"Nothing. Nevermind."

Silence again. He suddenly remembered those papers he had taken from his father's office.

"Hey, do you have a doctor relative or something?"

Mikasa raised her eyebrows, doubtful.

"No."

"Ah."

She didn't ask more. She was too discreet.

Eren turned on the music player and a list of Eminem's songs popped from the blue screen. Mikasa took a quick look at the letters before re-examining her wound.  _Love the Way You Lie_  was the song that flooded the car a while later and she bit her lower lip, trying not to mock the way Eren's lips moved as he imitated the litany of rapped verses.

Suddenly, she found herself humming the chorus. She already knew it; Hanji liked rap too, and Mikasa had to endure that same song over and over again for hours when she lived in Shiganshina with her and Levi. Her brain had had no choice but to record the lyrics.

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_but that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_but that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie._

"I knew it!" exclaimed Eren, while the rapper sang a new verse. Mikasa, who had been absentmindedly humming with her eyes locked in the window, looked at him.

"Eh?"

"I knew you could sing You have a pretty voice, by the way. Well, I'm not a music expert, but I think I can distinguish between a pleasant voice and a disgusting one. I think yours is one of those that would make a baby sleep."

The gurgle grew and grew. Her tummy was full of something strange that fluttered inside and she didn't fully understand. It went up her esophagus and flooded her throat and face, not letting her swallow when he looked at her.

Sometimes she wished that Eren was not so spontaneous.

"Thank you," she replied, her voice low due to her nervousness.

He nodded, mimicking the rapper's lyrics again.

_Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano_

_All I know is I love you too much to walk away though..._

Mikasa's lips stretched in a subtle lopsided smile as she watched him singing with such passion. His head moving to the music's rhythm, and his long, brown hair sometimes covering his face, until all she could see was the tip of his nose.

_Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk_

_Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk_

_Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball_

_Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the dry wall..._

Mikasa had never stared at him before as she did now.

_Next time, there will be no next time. I apologize even though I know it's lies_

_I'm tired of the game, I just want her back_

_I know I'm a liar, If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,_

_I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire._

Eminem stood still and so did Eren, as Rihanna sang again. But Mikasa didn't follow her this time. Actually, she just needed something to cover her face with.

"I didn't know you liked punching women." She suddenly said, as soon as the song ended. The car had stopped at a red light. Eren opened his eyes wide and snorted, facing her.

"What the fuck, Ackerman?" She frowned bitterly at the mention of her last name. "You really say that just because of a song?" he snorted again, cackling. "If that were true, I would have punched you long ago, silly. You're the boxer here, not me."

Mikasa shrugged.

"Well, I've never punched the same person twice, so you own the privilege." she joked, with that odd black humor that only she possessed.

"Ah, being punched by you more than once is now a privilege?"

"As a matter of fact, yeah, it is."

"God, you're a weirdo." Eren saw her shrugging again and scoffed. "I guess it's your way of telling someone that you like them, right?"

Mikasa couldn't swallow. She couldn't. And the bubbling inside her grew and grew.

"I don't like you." she replied, her eyes again on the window. "You were about to call me names that night, and I can't forgive you something like that."

Realization gave Eren a low blow. She was right.

"I know. I was an idiot. But I swear I didn't mean to- "

"Jaeger," here she came again, that bossy tone in her voice, that imperious and absolute voice of hers and that frown that made him know how mad she was at him and that he disliked. But he had to shut up, because he didn't want to fuck it all up this time." My dad always said that children and drunkards never tell lies. You were drunk and about to say what you think of me."

"No! No, Mikasa, I swear it's not like that ..." he exhaled, while Eminem continued rapping another song. Then he lowered the volume. "I was angry, I was pissed, but I ... I don't think anything bad about you. I wouldn't dare to. You ... You're not like other girls. You are different."

Mikasa got the impression that Eren had problems with his speech. Unbelievable that he could be so eloquent most of the time, but that he had to try so hard to apologize.

"You told me I'm like Annie Leonhardt ..."

Eren lowered his head, defeated, ashamed.

"It was not what I meant ..."

"Well, I can't understand," she replied, crossing her arms. Eren was about to say something, but he spotted a pharmacy a couple of meters away. So he slowed down to park at the roadside and get out of the car. Mikasa followed all his movements with her eyes, until she saw him return with a paper bag full of first aid stuff.

"Gimme your foot," It was not a request but an order. She did as she was told before she could refuse or hesitate in her actions. With no delay, Eren removed her right Converse, her sock, and tore the piece of ripped pants that hindered the wound.

She held her breath in her throat for a few seconds. Eren was strong, much more than she thought, and this fact made her feel ...

Overwhelmed.

Before continuing, the boy pulled a rubber band from his pocket, tying back his hair in a man bun. Mikasa gasped. The gurgling bubbled with more intensity, as she felt it sliding down to her entrails.

_Fuck._

She bit her lower lip again. And she was sure that a tomato couldn't be compared to the redness of her face.

"Holy Mother of God! It hurts!" Mikasa didn't know if it was her overexcitement and nervousness about being in front of him that had made her react so unusually, or if it really hurt her the pressure he put on the wound while he treated her.

"Aren't you Jewish?" he asked, not lifting his eyes from her foot. But she saw him raise an eyebrow, so she rolled his eyes.

"I'm nothing."

"Then you're an atheist."

"I said I'm nothing."

He smirked.

"Have you ever celebrated Christmas?"

"Eh... no."

"See? You're Jewish then. Your father was a Jew, so you're not allowed to curse in mother of God's name."

"Pfff," she hissed, her eyelids drooping in a deadpan expression, too much like Levi's, as Eren scoffed. "You speak like a neo-Nazi."

Eren laughed.

"Are you gonna give me history lessons too, Ackerman?"

She was going to talk back, but she wrinkled her face as soon as Eren applied the antiseptic solution on her wound. It wasn't too deep, but it was long instead, and it ran from the end of her calf to her heel.

"I don't think so." was all she said when recovering from her sting. He scoffed at her again.

"Well, you have a big foot. " He commented, looking at the size of her shoe. "Damn it, you're 8.5," he said, with a whistle. Mikasa frowned, embarrassed. If there was something she hated about herself, it was her big feet. "But I think it's okay, because of your height."

_Agh, Eren. You fucked it up again._

Mikasa just nodded.

"How do you want me to like you if you always screw it all, Eren?"

"Alas. I'm just trying to be friendlier."

"Ouch!" she exclaimed again. Eren was a little rough on treating her wound.

"I'm sorry."

"Bothering someone is a very strange way of being friendly."

"Well, I like it," Eren said with a giggle. Mikasa tried to get mad at him, but there was something that didn't allow her to do so. Maybe it was his smile, or his man bun, or his eyes lit up like a turquoise hellfire, or the gurgle in her stomach that now surrounded her hips and went up her spine ...

"I don't think we can ever get well at this point."

"I don't care. That way I can keep annoying you with a clear conscience." he teased, his shoulders jolting with every laugh.

He didn't notice it, but Mikasa's lips curled into a light and cute smirk.

"Asshole."

"Silly."

"Ouch!"

"I'm sorry." He said. She nodded. A minute later, her foot was all clean and all bandaged. "I mean it ... Sorry, Mikasa. For all. For the other night, for being an ass, for ..."

They looked into each other's eyes for eight eternal seconds charged with electricity, until their faces could be reflected in each other's pupils until they could see the cosmos reflected in each other's irises in a stormy vortex of attraction.

Eren's eyes were full of sincerity, and she knew it. Eren never hid his emotions, and his eyebrows were a window to his thoughts; That's why she knew he wasn't lying.

Mikasa's had a bubbly desire to accept his apology and, for once, be carried away by the gurgling inside her.

She lowered her foot from his lap carefully and Eren didn't stop looking at her.

Then he looked at her nose, and her lips, as if they were a magnet and he was a piece of metal.

And they came a little closer, unconscious, with no will, absolutely lost in time and space.

Mikasa could feel the breath of his nose on hers.

And she closed his eyes.

And an absurdly badly-timed knock interrupted the unceasing and resounding throbbing of two hearts that were about to collapse together.

Eren sighed in frustration, turning toward the window glass.

Mikasa felt something sink with disappointment inside her.

"Hey, boy, you're not allowed to park here." said a traffic policeman, as soon as Eren lowered the glass. He nodded and started the car again.

"I'm sorry, sir. We were leaving already."

The policeman nodded, leaving him alone.

Eren whacked the steering wheel and started his way. Dammit. Had that fucking cop knocked the glass a bit later, that would probably have been one of the best days of his life.

But a cop had fucked it up.

So he decided that he hated cops from now on.

 


	21. Dante

"It seems suspicious to me."

When Pieck spoke, Zeke turned to her. With his boxing gloves still on, he grabbed the punchbag to keep from hitting and walked towards her. His fiancée held a glass of lemonade in one hand and a towel in the other, just as she did every time he trained. Because Zeke liked to punch things when he was stressed, and that's why he had decided it was better to devote himself to boxing than to punch people as he had done a while before, before meeting her.

Then he took off his gloves as she dried the drops of sweat that slid down his chest and face. In one gulp, Zeke drank from his glass, before kissing his girl on the forehead.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Pieck brushed her hair aside, trying to tear her eyes away from his fiance's damp abdomen, the way it rose and fell to the rhythm of every pant, and the drop of sweat that slid over his Adam's apple, tempting her to touch him. But she wouldn't do it until the previous day's conversation had ended.

"I'm talking about the policeman. About his sudden appearance and how strange it is to remove that case after seven years without any clue. It is a dead end; Outside from you, I doubt they can find anything."

Zeke wiped the last traces of sweat from his torso and took a seat in front of the pool table in his basement, while Pieck sat on the edge of it.

"I guess that's why they want me. They think I can help with something if they start from scratch."

"Well, that's preposterous. You said in the trial everything you know, they proved that you had nothing to do with or knew the mastermind behind all of it."

Pieck knew that expression on his boyfriend's face: Zeke's eyebrows arched and met slightly as his eyes expanded and his lips twitched beneath his white beard, a feature that only she knew, after so many years living under the same roof. But that face of his meant only two things:

He was nervous.

He was hiding something.

The tip of his ears also acquired a pink tinge that mixed with his golden hair and nobody else noticed, except Pieck and her suspicion. On very good authority, Pieck knew it was a Jaeger thing to lie and have red ears as a result. She had seen it before in Eren, and also in Zeke, although it was not noticeable in the latter.

But she knew him so well that there was nothing that could escape her intuition.

And she was sure that her fiancé was not telling her a great deal.

"Because you said everything you knew, right, Zeke?" she said, with an inquisitive look, letting her long strands of dark hair fall on both sides of her face.

He did not take long to respond, as if he had been ready for it.

"Of course I told it all. However, it's possible that there was something I could miss." He commented, as calm as possible. She frowned, but deep inside, she contemplated changing her mind according to the circumstances.

"You know what can happen if one way or another you make a mistake, Zeke."

"Pieck, I've already told you everything I know and everything that happened that night and before that. Do you think I want to have that damn midget on my heels after all this time?"

She sighed.

"In case of a new trial, they won't call me again as a jury member. Not to the accomplice's fiancee. So I suggest you do everything in your power to conclude that and get rid of that cop once and for all. I don't know what happened to the case, I don't know what the hell happened to the evidence, which seems to have vanished or never existed, but whoever is behind it, left you in place to pay for their faults, and surely they would do it again this time."

Zeke didn't utter a word until a few seconds later, feeling his girlfriend's dark eyes penetrate his brains as if hammering him.

"I know. I know that."

"All right. Then work together with the police, but be careful and make them keep their word to have your back. Who says you can trust them? Remind them that you are Dr. Jaeger's son."

"My father wasn't much help that time, Pieck."

"Don't use him, but your last name. There is no one in Trost who doesn't know his name, and they'll have to listen to you, not only when it suits them. Dr. Grisha Jaeger's friendship with politicians must be useful in some way. So don't hesitate."

Zeke stood up and nodded. He threw the towel on the pool table and approached his girl, her lips curled into a kinky smile; He stretched his hands to her face and held her before kissing her.

"As expected of Pieck, that's exactly right," he announced, brushing his lips against her mouth. She smiled widely, because she could barely resist Zeke Jaeger's charms and overwhelming breath, moaning as she felt his fingers dig into her ass as he spanked her. She slid her hands up her fiancé's chiseled and strong back, while he buried his face in her neck and rolled his hips between her legs. Zeke never liked the detours when it came to having sex, so he quickly lifted his girl's skirt and yanked off her panties, making the sound of the ripped fabric mix with the pants of two pairs of lungs. Pieck could not deny it: she loved her boyfriend's fieriness, she loved touching the veins that stuck out of his arms when he was aroused and she loved his carved-in-marble boner beyond all understanding. And fuck, the pool table was uncomfortable but very stimulating; so it didn't matter to her if she mistreated her ass as Zeke thrust himself into her. A sex session with a sweaty, athletic and handsome boyfriend made any discomfort worthwhile.

"Zeke, are you ...? Oh shit!"

Damn it, Eren Jaeger. Zeke never asked for a younger brother; they were the worst plagues on earth's surface.

The two bodies on the pool table stopped in astonishment, while Eren watched them open-mouthed. None of the three dared to move, perhaps out of fear of increasing their shame with a simple breath, or in their eagerness not to make the situation worse, which in itself was cumbersome.

"Fuck, Eren! What the fuck do you want?" Zeke yelled, wanting his arms to become wider so he could hide his girlfriend in them. However, he didn't pull off her, and Pieck hid her blushing face on her fiance's torso. Eren snorted, and the slight shrug of his shoulders made Zeke realize how hard he was trying not to laugh.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I looked for you everywhere until I thought you would be in the basement, but not that I would find you like this- ..."

"Eren! Speak, damn it!"

Zeke was desperate. Pieck, embarrassed, and Eren very entertained with the idea of annoying his older brother.

"I came to tell you that I won't stop working with you, but I will move to Armin's- "

"I think it's perfect, now get the fuck off, I'm busy." Zeke snapped with a husky voice. Eren giggled before closing the door and Pieck could sigh, at last.

But then the door burst open again.

"And don't make so much noise, you bastards. I could hear you fucking from above." Eren's laughter echoed through the basement's corridor, squeaking in the ears of his joke victims'. The door slammed shut, and the thunderous laughter was lost in the distance, while Zeke covered his face, disappointed, wondering what he had done to deserve that.

At least Pieck saw it on the positive side, so she swallowed her shame and kissed him again, knowing that they wouldn't have to put up with these awful interruptions. Not again.

They would have plenty of time to worry about Captain Ackerman as well.

 

* * *

 

 

Armin Arlert was never the typical high-class boy. Even though he owned the comforts of the son of the owners of one of the best hotels in Trost, Armin never felt pride in it, nor did he find pleasure in frivolity, ostentation, and much less in waste, unlike many others his age. He was rather the type of modest boy, who liked to spend time in the comfort of his library coach, devouring full pages that spoke about yesteryear epic battles, or dangerous fictional worlds, or designing strange construction drawings that someday he could make come true. But more than anything else, Armin loved his time with his friends, whom he had learned to value more than his life, when he noticed from a very young age that his parents were absent parents, but constant workers. Money-making was their child, and Armin, apparently, only the result of a social convention they had to fulfill. However, he had his grandfather, and also Eren, and Aunt Carla, and even Faye, with her adorable childhood crush on him; and last but not least, Mikasa. The blond boy mocked inwardly about how quickly she had fit into the brotherhood he had with Eren, and the strange circumstances in which their friendship had been built, wondering if such ties could ever be broken.

Something told him no. That was not possible. And he was right.

Then he thought of Annie too, and again he wondered if she was his friend, in spite of everything.

He himself answered his question on his birthday's night, when he saw his friends gathered for him in the hall of events of his parents' hotel.

She was not there; Not like other times. There were no calls, no text messages like in previous years ... Nothing. There was nothing.

She was nothing.

But she needed him. Armin knew it deep inside. And Armin was always right.

"Hey, coconut head, I hope you have plenty of beer here."

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT, YMIR !"

Armin's scream was heard throughout the room, even over the music, while the freckled brunette laughed and kissed him on the forehead, throwing her arm over her friend's shoulders. Historia covered her face with embarrassment, chuckling.

"Ymir, leave Armin alone."

"Nah, this little dumbass knows how much I love him, isn't it, dumbass? Here, this is your gift," she said, handing him a box decorated with a golden bow on top. It must have been Historia's work, for Ymir would never have thought of decorating a box.

"Thanks, thanks. But don't call me like that again. I left that haircut long ago."

Ymir let out another one of her noisy laughs that caught the attention of Armin's classmates who attended his party.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but for me, you'll always be a coconut head." God, Ymir had the most sarcastic and irritating laugh when she wanted to. "Happy birthday, Armin," she said later, patting his head. Historia was next, who had always liked to kiss him on the lips, saying that Armin had the most beautiful mouth she had ever seen in her life, much to her wife's annoyance. He only laughed and mocked the jealousy of his freckled friend.

"Thank you so much, girls. Having you here after coming from Shiganshina means a lot to me-"

"Tch, we didn't come for you, silly. We came for the beer."

"Ymir!" Historia's scoldings always drew the best laugh from Armin and the most resounding kiss from Ymir. "Hey! Eren!" The blonde girl shouted when she saw him go through the door. Eren waved his hands at them, stomping closer.

The eyes of the two blondes and the freckled one opened wide when seeing the figure that came after him.

Mikasa's stillness as she walked contrasted awfully against Eren's enthusiasm, whose presence could be felt as soon as he opened the door to the room.

"Hisu!" the turquoise-eyed boy shouted, running towards her to hug her. Historia was so short that she looked like a doll in Eren's arms when he lifted her in a cartwheel. Ymir waited for their hug to stop so she could pull his friend's ear as roughly as she wanted to. "Hey, hey, Ymir! Let go!"

"I told you to get away from my girl, Jaeger, or I'll bust your balls!" Ymir's threat made them all burst into laughter." I've always known you have a thing for her, don't make me kill you!"

"Ymir, let go of him." Armin mocked. Eren hugged his best friend when Ymir let him go, while Historia mocked the scene. "Hi, Mika! "The blond boy greeted her, waving his hand towards her. When Mikasa approached, she was wrapped in a wave of hugs, except Ymir, who greeted her with a hard spank.

"Ackerman!"

"Ymir!" shouted Historia, followed by a stunned Mikasa that jumped before the impact of being spanked, frowning as she massaged the pain spot. Eren and Armin giggled with their fists in their mouths, while their freckled friend cackled.

"Don't do that again, Ymir," Mikasa warned, glaring at her. Ymir just raised both hands in self defense.

"I'm not responsible for your beautiful ass, Mikasa. I wanted to give you a good slap since we were at school. Isn't that true, Eren? This girl's ass is so spankable!"

"YMIR !" Historia's high pitched lecture resounded throughout the room, and Mikasa's face turned bright red as it used to be when she blushed. Eren stopped laughing and swallowed hard; That was a serious question for someone who had stayed centuries enraptured in that thick ass of hers that looked so soft and plump, wanting to touch it with his own hands, wondering what it would feel to rest his head on it, would it feel like a soft cushion or pillow ...

"Someone won't scissor tonight," Armin whispered to Eren as he chuckled, mocking Historia's jealousy and Ymir's laugh.

"That's true!" Sasha yelled, backing up Ymir's sentence when she came out of nowhere next to Connie. Before she could reach them, she tripped over a couple of tables and a chair, and Armin laughed only to watch the show that his old friends, and others not so old, offered to the evening. There were more hugs and much more gifts for the birthday boy, leaving aside the issue about Mikasa Ackerman's irresistible butt, or so she believed. Why should everyone be so noisy? Well, at least Armin was nice to her and tried to keep her away from the Ymir and Sasha's jokes as much as he could.

"So you came with her?" The blond boy could not help asking that question to his best friend. Mikasa was away from them, with a glass of punch in hand and talking to some Armin's classmate who tried to flirt with her without much success.

"No," Eren said, his jaw clenched and a fire in his eyes as he looked at the son of a bitch who winked at the dark-haired girl. "We ran into each other at the entrance. She came with her friends."

There was silence. Armin turned his gaze to Mikasa, then to Eren.

"Control your jealousy. I don't want a scene at my birthday party."

"I'm not jealous, Armin," Eren's ears reddened hopelessly. Of course, that wouldn't go unnoticed by his best friend. "But it's obvious that that bastard is harassing her."

Armin's lips stretched into a cocky smirk.

"Well then go save your damsel in distress, Eren. Though I want no fights, okay?" Armin's voice changed drastically, from nice to quite threatening, as well as his gaze. Eren nodded, but he didn't leave immediately until Historia took Armin away to play a joke on him with Ymir and Connie's help.

"Hey, what about Annie?" the girl asked, before reaching the table where the others were. Armin felt as if his world fell down, making him feel dizzy.

But Armin was stronger than he thought.

The blond boy pouted with regret. Yes, he was strong, but sensitive; much more than Historia could imagine.

"Is something wrong with her? And what about Reiner? And Bertholdt? It's weird that they're not here," she insisted, before seeing him breathe dramatically as if all the air escaped from his lungs.

"It's a long story, Hisu. I think ... it will be better to talk about that later, okay?"

The girl nodded, dropping her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"It's okay, Ar, whenever you want. But tell me, is Eren included?"

Armin rolled his eyes.

"What do you think?"

Historia snorted softly, covering her mouth.

"No wonder why I'm not surprised," she chuckled. "But let's leave him alone for now. I think he's busy, isn't he?" A pair of blond heads turned to Eren, watching him walk to the place where Mikasa prayed to heaven for someone to rescue her. Voilá. Her prayer was heard faster than she expected.

"C'mon dude, that is a very pathetic trick, did you know? You can't win all women over with credit cards." Eren's haughty and bitter voice echoed over Mikasa and the (in Eren's opinion) asshole who sadly tried to woo her, showing off his Girard-Perregaux wristwatch and dropping "by accident" his American Express Gold, so enthralled in his ostentatious flirting he did not notice how the girl in front of him rolled her eyes as she sighed with boredom and pity, locked in a straight and apathetic face. So this green-eyed ghost had caught him off guard, unmasking his futile attempt to conquer a girl whose mind was absent during all his verbal diarrhea. Mikasa never meant to say it, but blessed was Eren Jaeger. Blessed, blessed. Blessed when he left open-mouthed and exposed to this creepy airhead, holding her by her jacket sleeve to get her out of such a pitiful scene.

What did Eren have with sleeves?

Why did he never hold her by the hand?

The dark-silver-eyed girl blushed at her own thought.

His hand and feet led her to the long buffet table next to the balcony overlooking the sea, pointing to a tray full of the dessert that turned her mouth into a shameful water fountain.

"To make you forget about that bastard, here's a huge pudding reserve," Eren announced, winking at her. She preferred to take her eyes away from his so as not to embarrass herself anymore. She couldn't help it: her hands unconsciously stretched to the first plate they could reach, holding the spoon in order to take a good piece to her mouth. Eren chuckled as soon as he saw her wrinkling her eyebrows with delight, and he could even hear the chorus that her taste buds sang as she tasted the sweet, bouncing dough of the pudding.

"God!" she exclaimed, and a thin, indecent strand of saliva escaped from the corner of her mouth, to hear Eren's sudden laughter hammering in her ears. "Sorry ..." she apologized, wiping her mouth with a napkin. Eren tilted his head, still laughing.

"It's okay. But you must control that, huh? You can't go drooling around every time you eat pudding."

Ow ow ow. Eren's smile turned on the bubbles in the bottom of her stomach. Sometimes it was bubbles, sometimes birds, sometimes feathers, and sometimes anvils (although this only happened if she was mad at him). The point was that there was always something inside her belly when she saw him.

"... I can't help it, I guess ... There's nothing I like more than this."

The gurgle that Mikasa felt in her stomach had now settled in Eren Jaeger's ears: that girl's voice was so melodic and heavenly that he began to love listening to her speech.

"Pfff. You'll find something one day that you like more than pudding."

"I don't think so."

"You'll see. Slytherin. You will see."

He gave her a broad, warm smile. She wanted to hide her face in response, but she could not, and Eren mocked her again.

"Thank you for getting me out of there."

"You're welcome. I guess the asshole didn't notice the face you had. Why didn't you kick his ass? It was very ... weird to see you could stand him for so long."

Mikasa shrugged as she ate.

"I didn't want to be rude."

Eren nodded, taking a biscuit from one of the trays. He bit it, tasted it, and nodded again.

"Hmm. It's good." He commented, his mouth half full. "Is your foot ok?" he asked. Mikasa nodded as he swallowed his mouthful.

"Swallow before you speak," she murmured with a frown and that bossy tone.

"Wut?"

"Swallow before you speak," Yes. She was pretty bossy.

"Wouldn't you like to be Carla's daughter, maybe? You are a bit like her."

"Sarcasm is not your thing, Eren. And no, I wouldn't like to be Carla's daughter, because then I would have to be your sister and I don't like that. You're annoying."

When Eren let out one of his cocky laughter, Mikasa wondered why she couldn't hate him as before and hissed underneath her breath.

"You're not being honest and you know it."

"Oh no? What makes you think I'm not?"

"I don't know," He took a sip of some drink in his glass. "I just... know."

_Change the subject, Mikasa. Change the subject._

She cleared her throat.

"How do you know the girls?"

"Hisu and Ymir?" he asked, holding the glass in his hand and raising his index finger towards the couple. Mikasa nodded and he took a sip of his drink, leaning against the wall. "Oh, well, it's an interesting story. Wanna hear it?" Mikasa nodded again. "When I turned fifteen, my father sent me to a summer medical camp for teenagers," Eren rolled his eyes at the memory. "Armin went with me, and I don't fucking know how the hell Reiner went with us to that place. The point is that Historia and Ymir were also there; Well, actually they were in another camp near us, and we just happened to meet on a campfire night. Pfff, ridiculous," Eren rolled his eyes again. "Reiner was fascinated with her and the next month they were already dating. Armin and I couldn't believe it. We always noticed that there was something between her and the freckled one, and that's why it was weird to see Hisu with Reiner. They dated for seven months until that bastard cheated on her with some random girl. Hisu and I started chatting more since then because she seemed devastated. But I made her realize that Reiner was nothing and that she really wanted Ymir. Since then, that freckled bitch insists that there was something between her wife and me, but it's not true. We are just good friends since then."

Eren's guffaw stung Mikasa at the corners of her mouth, making them stretch a bit. For an inexplicable reason, Eren's final clarification about the nature of his relationship with Historia made the dark-haired girl feel relieved. She leaned a little on the table and rested her chin on her hand before letting out a sigh, watching carefully that crooked smile of Eren when he said something funny, or the way his eyes opened when he finished a sentence and breathed to keep talking, or how his eyebrows met when he was concentrated, or how he touched the tip of his nose when he forgot about something ...

"Also, I don't like blondes. Hisu's just my favorite lesbian." he scoffed, wrinkling his eyes when laughing. Mikasa snorted, straightening again. Eren had the amazing ability to magically shit on the most beautiful thoughts.

"Don't you like blondes? So what about Annie?"

_Is she fucking jealous?_

Mikasa's gurgling rose to his face in the form of a blushing mess.

_Am I jealous?_

What a shame.

"Looking at it in hindsight, that wasn't something important. It didn't even hurt, to be honest."

She nodded; It was better not to talk, or she would end up saying some other uncomfortably revealing nonsense.

Both of them took a sip of their drinks and Mikasa grabbed another pudding from the tray. The chorus that sang their taste buds made her tongue shrink.

"Hey..."

"Yeah?"

She hesitated, clenched her fists, took a breath and opened her mouth, completely oblivious about Eren's eyes fixed on her.

"About what you said in Armin's car about you and me that night ... Is that true?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

Mikasa sighed and closed her eyes, pleading that Eren didn't make it harder for her.

"You said that you and I ... Well, you slept ... with me and stuff ..."

Eren felt the blood rise inevitably to his face, like champagne filling a cup. And bubbles, lots of bubbles. His stomach bubbled.

"Eh ..." he cleared his throat. "No. I was drunk and talking nonsense. You fell asleep on the sofa and I was on the floor, nearby you ... But don't get me wrong. I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel disoriented when you woke up ... That's all."

If Eren felt proud of himself for something, it was his skill to lie.

But he didn't like to lie to her. It was something different. Agh, the guilt kicked him in the stomach.

"Oh well. it's okay."

Disappointment.

She was disappointed and she didn't know why.

Never, she never knew why. She didn't know anything. With Eren Jaeger, she knew nothing. Absolutely nothing. Shit.

He was the next to speak after a brief silence.

"Did you know that my brother's got some bones to pick with your brother?"

"What?"

Eren nodded, swallowing the contents of his glass in one fell swoop.

"I think Zeke's got into trouble with the police, because your brother went to the nightclub to visit him," Eren chuckled. "I thought he was going to shit bricks when he saw the Trost police captain there. And no offense, but your brother is creepy as fuck."

"Yes. I must admit that that shorty is intimidating."

Eren opened his eyes, stunned.

"You dare to call him that?"

Mikasa shrugged.

"He's my brother. No big deal, though."

Eren let out a whistle of amazement.

"Zeke wears glasses, and also has a protruding navel, like a tiny tongue in his tummy. If I ever mocked that on his face, he would beat the shit out of me."

"I suppose these are the perks of having lived almost all my life with him. You lose respect in some way."

Eren laughed at her comment and saw a smile in her eyes, though her mouth did not move.

"Yes. I guess that's it."

The two fell silent. Armin beckoned them to come to the table, but Eren raised his right hand and told him to wait.

"Speaking of siblings ... Faye has asked me to, in case of seeing you, remind you that she's been waiting for your visit for days."

Eren set the glass on the table and bite the cake again.

"If I get outta here  _fober_  and Grisha  _ifn't_  home," Eren swallowed again. "It's probably that I go tomorrow."

Mikasa shook her head, covering her face with the hand that held the spoon.

"Swallow, please, ok?"

"I swallowed."

"Agh. You are impossible."

"LOL. I know," he scoffed. "But I'll do my best to visit Faye."

Eren didn't notice, but Mikasa's eyes lit up slightly at the prospect.

"You should spend more time with her. She's your sister and ... she loves you."

A spoonful of pudding and a bit of sponge cake. The prudently jolly music that filled the occasion had Eren's foot moving restlessly from side to side to every beat. Armin, Historia, Sasha, Ymir and Connie laughed at a few tables of them, but for some reason, they both felt comfortable there, nearby the table and the balcony, one arm away from each other, eager to rub their fingers without having the courage to do it.

Such fools they were.

"I love her too ... Even if I don't show it to her often."

"You should do it. You were a total asshole with her too, and in spite of everything, she doesn't stop admiring you. Apologize to her, Eren; she deserves it."

Eren no longer looked as cheerful as before. Guilt kicked him in the stomach, and also his eyes when the tears stung his retina.

"I know it. And I'm sorry."

There was silence. The mumblings and music around scraped their ears instead of their own voices.

"I hope your apologies do have a meaning."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I hope that they aren't just empty words."

Eren stopped to look at her, but her eyes were set somewhere away from him, again wrapped in that deadpan mask he didn't like at all.

"Sometimes an "I'm sorry" means nothing, Eren. You get used to saying it so much that there comes a time when you don't really feel it, and then it becomes a routine that you use every time you hurt someone."

He could not deny it: Eren was beginning to feel confused by the sudden and unexpected change of mood.

"What's this all about?"

"It's what I thought of you the first time you told that to me, and that's why I didn't want to talk to you."

"You weren't going to talk to me?" he asked, his eyelids slightly wider and somewhat outraged.

"No."

"And what's this? An onset of sincerity?"

She still didn't look at him. Her pudding was already over.

"Maybe."

Eren nodded, dazed. His eyebrows rose slowly in a gesture of self-disappointment. Maybe she was right; Maybe she ... She made him feel so angry all of a sudden ... Why the hell should it be so absurdly complicated to talk to her without feeling guilty about something?

Or was it that he had so many sins to wash that she was just that imposing force that reminded him that they were there as if wanting to cleanse his conscience?

What if she was the spring where he could wash her faults?

But how?

Even so, with all the discomfort he was beginning to feel, he did not want to hurt her; There was only hunger. An inexplicable hunger to know the most hidden truths inside that beautiful throbbing chest of hers.

"Well, they were not empty words, but it's okay if you don't wanna believe me. However, I also have something to tell you."

Mikasa raised an eyebrow, looking at him and waiting for him to continue talking.

"I think you're afraid."

"What?" she asked, confused and even nervous.

"You heard me. You'll probably punch me when I tell you this, or maybe not. I'm not sharp-eyed, Mikasa; I've never been. I've always been dense, but when I see you, I see fear. I think you're afraid to feel. To find someone who breaks your imaginary bubble world and asks you to let them in. Because I see you in a bubble, did you know that? As if you don't want to be free for fear of letting go of something you should have let go a long time ago. I see you ... trapped in a cage like a damn lonely bird that is afraid of flying, and you feel content with that ..."

Her heartbeat had dramatically increased with each word from Eren, at his pace, at his breathing, as if it were about to come out of her chest. Oxygen clogged her lungs and clung to the walls of her throat until she gasped to recover it.

Speechless, Mikasa stuttered. She felt bare, vulnerable.

But how?

How the hell?

"Feel?" she pronounced a few seconds later, expressionless. "I think I feel more than you think," Eren didn't laugh this time, but it seemed a cruel and funny irony to him the contrast that her words caused against her face. She drove him crazy, especially when he was not able to decipher her thoughts, not even through the dark, silvery lagoon that were her eyes, because they were trapped in her mind, very hidden, and she wouldn't let them out. No, when the turquoise hellfire of Eren's eyes dug deep into her, delving, searching, anxious and hungry as if they wanted to consume her completely.

But he wanted to devour her.

A few meters from them, the room's door opened again. Armin had risen to attend his other guests as they saw him walk to the door and smile at the ash-haired boy who was crossing the threshold. Eren closed his hands into fists at the sight of Jean. Jean gritted his teeth and stopped in his place. The amber eyes glared at the turquoise ones. Mikasa looked at Jean, then at Armin, Armin at her, and then at Eren. Then they knew what was right: not to let them get close by the slightest of mistakes.

"Eren," She said, as she watched Armin push Jean towards the guys' table and not let him move from there. "Eren."

"Eh?"

Mikasa's voice brought him out of a rage trance, plunging him into one of an instant soothing, numbing bliss.

"Wanna go to the balcony? We can talk better there."

Eren didn't nod, he did not utter a single word, actually; but he seemed willing to go wherever she took him.

Mikasa grabbed him by the edge of his sleeve and dragged him to the balcony, despite the cold breeze of early November and the jacket that was supposed to keep her warm.

Once at the lookout, the girl slid the sliding door closed to shield Eren from Jean's view, and Jean from Eren's sight.

"What the hell is he doing here?" he asked in a raspy voice and slightly frowning. A current of air blew, causing her to shiver a little. At that time she envied Eren and his obvious ability not to be affected by the upcoming winter.

"Armin invited him ..."

"That's obvious. But why did he do that?"

"Because now we are in the same campus, and they talk a lot lately. And I don't see anything wrong with them being friends."

Eren snorted, pressing his hands against the edge of the balcony wall.

"Armin is a fucking traitor."

"Don't overdo it. And calm down, ok? You don't want to screw your best friend's party up," She said, using again that bossy tone of hers, but a little less severe and much sweeter. Mikasa's voice was like hundreds of musical notes that filled his ears and slid to his chest, melting something inside him.

"Of course not," He said, half hypnotized.

Another gust of wind hit them. Eren looked toward the calm sea of Trost's coast that rocked before his eyes from the overlook, and rested his chin on his hand. Mikasa imitated him, trying not to think about the cold she felt with the damn almost-wintry air.

"Hey," Eren's voice broke the silence and the sound of the sea that reached them from the beach.

"Hmm?" she murmured, clenching her jaw so her teeth would not chatter. He was slow to speak again, but Mikasa just waited.

"What you said to me that night in Armin's car ..." apparently, there were many things to explain about the night at Armin's car. "Was it true?"

"What do you mean?"

Eren turned to look at her. She didn't, because the turquoise eyes penetrated her enough for her to notice and make her feel bare once more.

"Just out of curiosity ... Hmm ... " _Spit it out_ _now, you dumbass._  "Did you really like when that horsefac- ... I mean, Jean. Did you like it when he kissed you?"

Silence, and more sea waves, and colder fucking breeze. The blood circulated with an anxious hilarity through their veins, causing two hearts to beat in a flaming frenzy.

Mikasa could have compared her heartbeats to a crowd that bursts into a thunderous applause.

"No ... There is no comparison."

Eren's spirit gave a leap and came out through his mouth in a gasp, to return to him as he sighed. Then he twisted his mouth in a bitter expression. But he didn't look at her, and she didn't look at him either.

"Was it that good?" he asked, a little fearful, anguished, even sweating. Mikasa tilted her head slightly.

"Absolutely."

Low blow. Eren wasn't expecting that; however, Mikasa didn't mean what he understood.

"Fuck..."

"I mean..."

Silence.

"What?"

Mikasa cleared her throat. Damn it, her hands were shaking and it wasn't because of cold.

"It's not that it can be compared to another kiss when you have no previous experience ..."

Eren's eyes opened wide and slowly. His pupils went towards her in a ceremonious trance, but Mikasa didn't dare to look at him. She didn't. She couldn't.

"So ... was it your first kiss?" Eren sensed, as if the realization had hit his throat.

Silence. Again.

"Yes."

"Fuck. I should punch his damn face just for stealing something like that from you. Damn horse."

"Eren," she scolded him. He seemed not to hear her.

"Promise that it won't happen again."

"I doubt it."

"Great."

Silence again. Between airflows and the drowsy hiss of the waves crashing on the beach, Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman felt dizzy, their souls somewhat frothy, overflowing with a feeling they could not explain.

Then he saw her hugging herself to be able to warm herself up, so he took her hands between his.

"Shit, you're a fucking iceberg."

Cold and warm. An abysmal and cozy difference at the same time. It was the first time they had touched each other for so long and so consciously that they felt dizzy again. Eren rubbed her fingers, massaged them and blew on them with his breath so she could warm up. And that breath entered her pores, invading her nerves with an electrical current that pierced her spine and belly. Her knees failed, but she did not fall; she was strong, and above all, she knew how to hide her emotions.

Those emotions that were now frightening and exciting, all wrapped in a whirlpool inside her that threatened to come out of her mouth and fall into his.

"Eren," she uttered in a low voice, almost letting the breeze drown her voice. He removed his gaze from her hands and stuck them in her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Forgive me for punching you before."

She saw a crooked smile stretching his lips.

Oh, how she liked that smile. She could no longer deny a fact so obvious to her own psyche.

"I deserved it, right? But promise that you won't do it again."

She shook her head.

"I promise."

 

* * *

 

 

Levi was proud of his sister. He had always been, even if he didn't show it. Well, actually, the Ackerman siblings were not very affectionate, but yet very emotional; that's why he was the first one to get up from his seat to clap as loud as he could when the last note from Mikasa's violin echoed throughout the theater. He clapped even before she finished her last piece, one composed by herself, charged with vertiginous cadences that challenged the senses to recall the past; because that's what her symphony "The calamity of a calm sea" was about. About the past, about the misery caused by the memories that little by little became dust, as well as the violent and calm melody of clear and dark tints, of childhood memories, longings, sighs, like mirrors of a past life that she had to leave behind the day her parents died. Silences,  _staccatos_ ,  _subitos_  and  _fortes_ , raging cellos and meandering  _intermezzos_ , wrapped in the reverberation of the strings that cried out what she couldn't, while the orchestra harmoniously followed the sweet and bitter notes of her old violin.

Levi was the only one who understood what her music was screaming, and he clapped as never before. He, Hanji, Armin, Carla, Faye, Connie, and even an Eren who was about to break his hands amid the frenzy of applause and cheers, not giving a fuck about Captain Ackerman's threats, or what he might do later. Mikasa saw them all and everyone, and also Sasha, who had embraced her on the stage as soon as she was able to get up from her seat next to the other flutes. But her brother was the most enthusiastic of all; Levi was the first to get up and clap, but also the first to go with Hanji to the musicians dressing room to tell her in a low voice, very much in his own way, how proud he was of her. He ruffled her hair, patted her cheek, and refrained from kissing her as his father would have done.

But that was Levi, and she knew it, and it was fine. Because Mikasa felt lucky to be his little sister. Although she never said it.

"Mikasa, isn't that ...?" Sasha's voice made her turn her head towards the end of the corridor where the dressing rooms ended. There was Eren, waiting for her, afraid to approach and wondering if Levi would beat the shit out of him right there. But then Carla, Faye, Armin, Connie, her teachers and the university principal came to congratulate her on her excellent debut as a soloist, and she lost sight of him completely, as she was almost suffocated by a wave of greetings. She wouldn't see him again until a couple of weeks later, on Faye's 8th birthday.

Two weeks that would be eternally stifling for both of them. It was a pity that Mikasa didn't own a cell phone yet, or that would have made things infinitely easier.

Easier as Levi Ackerman wished it was all about his parents' murder case. As the results of the van were still late, and he looked the files day after day, without rest, in search of a new track that had gone unnoticed. Because even the surname Leonhardt, the one Zeke Jaeger mentioned, was still a dead end. He only knew one person with that name, but until then, there was nothing that could include that acquaintance in a crime like his parents'. Not a single connection, no fingerprints, no DNA ... Nothing.

Then he saw it. His eyes stopped where they had ignored other times, for it was a blurry picture of a dog snout that was little-paid attention to, and Levi wondered why the investigators had been so negligent seven years ago. The captain opened his eyelids widely in realization, snorted and breathed with agitation, while his mind was busy putting together that old puzzle. Why had something as important as that gone unnoticed? There were no more pictures of his dog, except the one where his destroyed snout appeared on the side of the image, blurry and by chance as if it had been captured by mere accident.

Dante.

He had to go to Shiganshina, to his old house, and unearth Dante.

There was no other choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just say this:
> 
> Chapter 22 will be intense, with a great Eremika moment that I know everyone expects. Eren and Mikasa must resolve their misunderstandings before a relationship.
> 
> So leave your reviews to know that you liked this, remember how important your comments are. See Y'all next chapter.


	22. The bond that binds us together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had the idea of rename this chapter after Demi Lovato's song “Two pieces of a broken heart“, because I think it's pretty accurate. But then I remembered how strong and important is the last scene here and how it would affect Eren and Mikasa's bond, and I decided to keep my first thoughts. This is a long and emotional chapter. You need to read a part to understand the next. I could not leave out the family bond before the great Eremika moment, so I hope you enjoy reading. Leave your reviews, and see you next chapter, when we begin to unravel the murder of the Ackermans.  
> And don't be scared when you reach a certain point. Mikasa will be safe and sound. Don't worry.

Levi Ackerman had never been so out of his mind like that night on Christmas Eve.

He hated these nights. He hated these Hanukkah songs his mother used to sing to him and Mikasa when they were children. He hated Christmas carols he heard in the street choirs and hated Christmas lights and trees and everything about it, even his own birthday, on Christmas morning. And not because he was Jewish by his father's side, but because it reminded him of the night his parents had died and the morning when he returned home to find them hopelessly lifeless. This was how winter became the most annoying season of the year, and with it, all its festivities.

 

But that night was different.

First were the car keys.

"Tch. Damn it, why isn't it fitting in?" the captain exclaimed, with a raspy voice, frowning as he tried to put the key in the ignition switch. Hanji chuckled, her right hand on her huge belly, ready to blow up.

"Levi! These are the house keys!" Her cackles filled the car, making Levi snort in despair. "Ow ... Ouch!" she groaned, gasping for air. He turned to his wife, about to lose his mind.

"Hanji, are you okay?" he asked, his heart in his throat, pale as she had never seen him before. Hanji sighed and laughed again.

"Yes, but contractions are more frequent now. God, this hurts as hell..."

"Tch, Four Eyes, I don't know how you can be so calm!" He exclaimed, pissed, as he left the car to go to their apartment and pick up the right keys. When he returned, sweating from so much running, Hanji was still making fun of him.

"We're leaving now. Buckle up," He warned, with a stern face and turning on the car as fast as possible. His hands were shaking ... His hands were shaking! Who the hell was that and what had happened with Levi Ackerman's unyielding stoicism? He did not know it, but he did know that his soon-to-be-born baby was about to make him lose his mind. Well, after all, it was his first child, and although Hanji took everything lightly (far lighter than he could tolerate), he still worried about how she winced when the contractions came back.

Then it was their trip to the medical center.

"Levi, the hospital is on the other side," her laughter flooded the car when Hanji let him know that he had taken the wrong way. Captain Ackerman suddenly stopped, after five minutes of driving by inertia, trying not to violate the traffic rules and signals in the midst of his fatherhood ravings.

"Shit..."

"I think we have to call Mikasa to drive. It's obvious you're not thinking straight, Levi."

He sighed.

"She doesn't own a cell phone yet."

"Ah, didn't she tell you? I bought her one a few days ago, for Hanukkah. She didn't want to take it but I had to threaten her, so you can call her ... Auch! Ahh ..."

"Hanji!" Levi's eyes opened so wide they seemed to pop out. He was sweating, sweating a lot; the last time he had sweated that much had been during his time as a cadet at the Academy.

"C'mon, love, call her," She said, handing him her cell phone so that he could dial Mikasa's number. Levi knew her pain must be unbearable, because saying "love" to him was not so Hanji.

 _"Hanji?"_ Mikasa asked from the other side. Levi himself startled at his sister's voice, for he had not noticed the moment when his fingers hit on the screen to call her.

"Mikasa, it's me. Are you in the dorms?"

_"Yes. Why? Levi, your voice is trembling. What's wrong? Is Hanji ok?"_

"It's time. I'll pick you up because I need you to drive this shit ..."

 _"Is the baby going to be born? Today??"_ Mikasa sounded alarmed. Levi gasped when he heard that phrase when the realization hit him like a giant rock.

The baby...

Will be born...

_Today._

As if he had not realized the magnitude of the situation until his sister mentioned it.

 _"Levi?"_ she insisted from the other side.

"Yes. Yes. We're on our way, so wait for me at the entrance."

Right before Mikasa could answer, Levi cut the call. At the same time, Hanji was rubbing her belly, as if that could calm the torture of her contractions. He started the car again and drove to Ehrmich Street. Goddammit, it was cold but Levi was sweating as if sentenced to death. The snow-covered streets and the icy air caused clouds of cold smoke when they breathed as some small flakes dancing in the atmosphere let them know that the next snowfall would be in a few hours. Mikasa was already waiting for them at the entrance, talking to the building janitor about how terrible winter would be that year; then she jumped as soon as she saw his brother's car and ran towards him, mocking mentally of Levi's bags under his eyes and his scared face.

"Levi, I broke water ..."

Hanji's voice hammered at his eardrums, making him feel dizzy. Mikasa and he opened their eyes wide as soon as the girl opened the passenger door for Levi to change seats.

"What does that mean?" the youngest of the Ackerman siblings asked, stunned, with her face leaning into the car. Hanji cackled again, although her sister-in-law did not know if it was due to the pain, or because she just wanted to make fun of her.

"Get in now, Mikasa! And drive us to the hospital!" Levi yelled, almost losing his temper. "And you, Shitty Glasses, don't laugh. I can't believe you're so calm when our child is about to be born ..." Everything happened in a blink of an eye, and by the time Levi could react, Hanji left the car to be taken inside a huge white building with huge gates that fluttered after each blow, in the middle of the small rain of people entering and leaving the emergency room of the Trost General Hospital. It was almost 7pm when the Ackermans entered the medical center, and Hanji was led through many corridors, in a wheelchair, to the Labor and Maternity Unit. Mikasa took care of the entrance paperwork, because her brother, in fact, did not have the head for it.

On the verge of fainting, Levi managed to stay alert until he lost sight of his wife at the end of one of the corridors, when a nurse told him he could not cross to the end, but wait in the waiting room. He was a policeman, the police captain, he could not lose his sanity at a time like that, but seeing how his wife was lost in a hospital room behind a door made him tremble in anguish. Maybe he was overdoing it, maybe his emotions as a first-time father were playing tricks on him, but Levi Ackerman never felt more paranoid. Nurses, doctors, assistants disappeared behind the door and emerged again from where Hanji had vanished before his eyes, where his ordeal had begun.

_I ..._

_Vi..._

_Evi ..._

"Levi!" Mikasa's voice broke in the echo and pulled him out of his trance until his eyes turned towards her. Apparently, he had been lost in some imaginary nebula, staring at the gate at the end of the long, agonizing corridor. "Levi, she's fine, okay?"

The captain tried to assimilate his sister's words. He knew it, he knew that Hanji was fine, however, the wait caused his heart to sink into a spiral of anxiety that he could not tolerate.

Then he looked down and saw his hand enclosed in his little sister's hand.

How much time had passed since they last took each other's hands?

Years. Many; so many that he could not count them maybe.

"Calm down," the girl insisted with an infectious calm. Levi looked at her and remembered how much Mikasa resembled their mother; the nostalgia, a gleam of pain and a few memories rose up to his eyes and stung them in the form of tears that struggled to come out, but he would not let them. He didn't need that now.

Levi nodded and looked back toward the end of the corridor, waiting for news at any moment.

But that only seemed to delay each ticking of the clock, and the world spun slowly.

_MR. LEVI ACKERMAN,_

_REQUESTED IN THE MATERNITY PAVILION_

_FLOOR 3, ROOM 25_

 

How? When? When had Hanji been taken from the place she entered? Why didn't he see her leaving? Had he fallen asleep? In a blink of an eye, she had been moved to the third floor and he did not know how ...

The sudden sound of the speakers startled the captain. After almost two hours of waiting, Mikasa had begun to fall asleep, so Levi had to shake her to make her open her eyes. A couple of nurses with Christmas caps on their heads smiled at them as they passed, pushing a trolley full of gifts for patients living in the hospital. When Levi looked through the large window overlooking the city, he observed the first snowflakes of the night, those that would soon cover Trost with a white veil of coldness and the happiness of those who celebrated. Then he looked away and walked to the elevator, followed by his sister.

"Levi, you're shaking," the girl commented in a low voice. The elevator had already started, marking the second floor of the building.

He tried to ignore her, but he had already noticed the lightness that made his hands and shoulders shook.

"Tch," It was all he answered. His sister shook her head and waited patiently for the elevator doors to open again.

Room 25.

A nurse in the corridor took their names and made them wear clinical gowns and facemasks. Levi looked pissed; impatience ate at his brains.

Mikasa was the first to locate the white door with the number engraved on it. The girl grabbed the knob and opened it slowly until she came across Hanji's image, lying on a bed while holding a roll of pink cloth in her arms. Levi was the next to enter, his knees about to fail, and a heart that beat a thousand per hour, buzzing before the throbbing and urgent eagerness of meeting that being that was part of him and the person he loved for the first time. White, yellow, pink, brown, black, white again; all the colors that those silver-steel eyes saw before approaching the woman on the bed, hesitant, even fearful as never before. Levi forgot his sister, who he was, where he was, the whole world, the galaxy he lived in, breathing, and an unknown tingle bubbled in his veins when he could see the little thing that rested in his wife's arms...

"It's a girl," said a voice coming out of the blue. "Congratulations, Dad."

The nurse smiled and left the room, much to Levi's surprise, who had not even noticed her presence. The door was closed with great care, and a solemn silence settled over them until Levi could speak, forcing his paralyzed vocal cords to utter something more than an amazed gasp.

Shit. He was going to cry. He had to cry; Those damn tears of happiness had to come out because he could not contain them, no matter how hard he tried. Levi Ackerman was a mess of uncontrollable emotions.

And there it was, when the first drop of salt water rolled down his cheek, where the captain kissed the little baby's head in Hanji's arms.

His parents had died one winter, leaving him and Mikasa orphaned.

But his daughter was born also in winter. Among snowflakes, Christmas carols, children's laughter and lit fireplaces; under a dark sky illuminated with millions of stars, and the warmth of a home he had missed.

His birthday would be the next day, but he could not care less.

That day, that night, that moment, was the happiest of his life.

"It's her?" he asked, in a low and choked voice. Agh, how he hated that. Hanji had never seen him cry. But there was always a first time, and he knew that this occasion was worth any weakness.

Hanji gave a shy chuckle before answering.

"Yes, she is," she said, still laughing.

Levi had to admit to himself that he had never loved Hanji's laugh more than he did now.

"May l?" He asked shyly, opening his hands so that his wife could hand him the child. Now he looked much younger, like a shy and excited teenager. She nodded, her eyes flooded with tears just like his, and Levi took the baby in his arms ...

She was the smallest, lightest, fragile, pink and beautiful thing his eyes had ever seen. Wrapped in her pink blanket, the baby pouted and waved her little hand, as if she had sensed her father's presence with closed eyes. He got rid of the mask. Who the hell would ever talk to his child with their mouth covered? It was absurd.

In addition, Levi Ackerman was the healthiest and cleanest person that had ever existed.

"Hello there, brat," Levi's voice was a whisper. He didn't want to wake her up. "I'm your Dad ..."

In a choked voice, he slid his gaze down each edge of that small face; over the contours of her black and bristling hair, over her small and sharp nose and her thin pink lips; over the little wrinkles caused by the amniotic fluid that would fade soon. She was his daughter, she was part of him, and even so, Levi could not believe it.

"What should we name her?" He asked a few seconds later, struggling against his own breath, which refused to move forward. He looked at Hanji and Hanji at him, with a broad smile.

"Tamara, after your mother."

A couple of dry gasps were heard in the room. Levi swallowed, and Mikasa covered her face with her hands so that no one would notice the tears that flooded her eyes. Her older brother remembered she was there, but said nothing about it.

"Hi Tamara," He said again in a low voice, watching the little girl's silent movements in his arms. Then he looked at his younger sister and gestured for her to come closer. Mikasa did as she was told, wiping her cheeks before reaching him.

"She weighs 3.560 grams and it's 48 centimeters tall. That's what the doctor said," Hanji commented, smiling. It was strange to her sister-in-law that she wasn't wearing her glasses, but probably no woman in labor would ever wear glasses.

"Hold her, Mikasa," Levi said to his sister. Mikasa's eyelids expanded slightly, gasping with astonishment.

"Me?"

Levi rolled his eyes.

"Is there another Mikasa here?" he deadpanned. Her sister grumbled, but she took the baby in her arms quickly and carefully, as if she had a crystal object in her arms that could break at any moment. Mikasa had never had a baby in her arms; never. In fact, she didn't like babies very much.

But this one was different.

She was her niece.

"Oh, God," she gasped again, her eyes wide open in disbelief. Her hands and feet tingled, and her heart beat fast, as if it was injected with a certain dose of unexpected joy that she hadn't felt before. "Her hair ..." was the first thing she could pronounce, staring at the raven and bristling hair of the baby in her arms. It was like thousands of thin black spikes that rose up in her little head, but were soft enough when she touched them

"Don't talk," Levi replied. "It's the same as yours when you were born."

The Ackerman siblings heard Hanji's laugh and Mikasa smiled, watching Tamara's motions. As if it were an innate reflex, the girl managed to hold her with one hand and lift the other, so that she could caress her niece's face with her finger. She could not stop looking at her: she had never seen anything so beautiful, so small and delicate before.

"You are a little pretty one," she said softly. Tamara pouted as if she wanted to cry. "Oh no. Nothing of that; Auntie is here."

"Indeed, I think she looks a lot like you, Mikasa," Hanji commented, with Levi sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. The dark-haired girl looked at her sister-in-law and then at her brother, seeking for his approval.

"What? Unfortunately for me, Hanji is right. But I hope her resemblance to you is only physical. I don't wanna have to deal with another one like you."

"Tch. Hanji, will you let that midget raise this beautiful thing? You won't want a bitter daughter, will you?"

"Shut up, Mikasa."

"Why? I'm telling the truth."

The Ackerman siblings joked so seriously that Hanji could not help a guffaw. Levi grumbled and Mikasa ignored him, admiring again the little thing in her arms.

"You're a mini-me ... Mini-Mikasa. Oh, curious," even she herself was amazed at all the words that came out of her mouth that night. "I hope you don't inherit your dad's height, baby. You're so cute to be so short."

Hanji's laugh was so loud that the baby burst into tears. Levi snorted in annoyance and Tamara wrinkled her face before ripping one that vibrated in her auntie's hand.

This time it was Mikasa who crinkled her nose and coughed. That wasn't the stinkier fart, but not the most pleasant one either.

"That's my daughter," Levi commented, with a crooked smile. "Farting on her hateful aunt. Well done, brat."

The Ackerman siblings had a very particular way of showing their affection. Mikasa, for example, glared at Levi; Levi, instead, gave her a cocky half smile. After all, he was the oldest, and even if she wanted to kill him, that wouldn't have been possible.

Tamara's weeping was small and high-pitched, like a bell in her ears. But Mikasa thought herself unable to deal with it, so she handed her back to her mother's arms before she cried harder. She was hungry, and Hanji, apparently, already knew it. It was amazing how she could guess her child's needs even before anyone suggested it.

A subtle smile played on Mikasa's lips when she saw Hanji breastfeeding Tamara, and Levi throwing her arm around his wife's shoulders and then kissing her on the forehead.

Her parents did that all the time, and memories stung her eyes, but she didn't want to cry.

"We must be prepared for all visits next week," Hanji commented. Levi frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

Hanji sighed. Neither of them noticed that Mikasa took a picture of Tamara with her cell phone to upload it to Instagram. Levi would not notice: he was not a man of social networks.

And it was better that way.

"Erwin, my parents, Farlan, Isabel, and Moblit. Everyone will come to meet Tamara."

"Shit. It's true," Levi said, facepalming. "I hope they don't come at the same time."

"I don't think so. Don't be so paranoid, Levi," Hanji mocked. He looked at her closely; he kissed her on the forehead again and then on the lips.

"I love you, Four Eyes."

Hanji gave him the widest and warmest smile she could.

"I love you too, Shortie."

Between kisses and caresses, that was the happiest family on the earth's surface that night.

It was strange to see Levi so affectionate, but Mikasa understood: there was nothing that could be compared to the joy of having a child.

But she also understood that, in one way or another, she wasn't part of that family. Not in such an intimate moment, that belonged only to Levi, Hanji, and little Tamara. They were a new world, she was another.

She was a balloon in the air.

She didn't belong anywhere.

Her phone ringtone brought her out of her thoughts, out of that painful realization into which she had sunk. Then she left the room to the corridor, getting rid of the green coat and the mask she was wearing.

"Hello?" she asked, without looking at the number on the screen. A familiar voice surprised her from the other side of the line.

 _"Mikasa?_ "

"Eren?"

Yes. That was Eren: always saving her from herself.

_"Y- Yes ... Sorry ... Armin gave me your number and ... well, I hope it doesn't bother you."_

"Oh no. Of course not. Is something wrong?"

_"No. nothing's wrong. It's just that mom wanted to invite you to spend Christmas with us tonight. Well, she knows you don't celebrate Christmas, but she supposed you wouldn't do anything today, so she told me to call you to find out if you wanted to come ..."_

Mikasa cleared her throat.

"Well ... Actually, I'm at Trost's hospital. My niece has just been born, and ..."

 _"Oh great!"_ Eren interrupted. _"Your niece? The baby that Faye's teacher was expecting?"_ He asked with interest.

"Yes. She was born nearly an hour ago. That's why I'm here."

 _"Ah ... Faye will like to know it. Hmm ... Fuck, so you can't come with us ..."_ Eren sounded somehow defeated. Mikasa muttered a sound that he didn't understand.

"Well, actually ..." She looked into the room through the window that opened onto the corridor. Levi and Hanji were like lovey-doveys. Yuck. Gross. If Levi was unbearable in his natural state of bitterness, he would be even more so in his state as a nasty lovebird. "I'll have to leave in a while when one of the nurses warns that I can't stay here, so I guess that's fine."

 _"For real??!"_ Eren spoke so loudly that Mikasa had to push the phone away from her ear. _"Ahm ... I mean, really?_ " he repeated, trying to keep his composure.

"Yes. It's okay," shit. Here came that bubbling in her belly again. That was what Eren's voice made to her.

_"Perfect. So ... I'll pick you up, unless you want to come on your motorcycle ..."_

"Hmm. I didn't bring it with me. But I can take a taxi ..."

_"No way. Don't be silly. I'll pick you up then. Just tell me the time and I'll be there."_

She smiled to herself.

"In an hour, maybe?"

_"Great. Armin will love to know that you will be there with us."_

"Will Armin be there too?"

_"Yes. And his grandfather. And also my grandfather, maybe, and even ... Grisha."_

Mikasa cleared her throat again.

"Isn't it ... uncomfortable for you?

She could not see him, but she was sure Eren had shrugged.

She herself was surprised to realize how much she knew his movements at this point.

_"Nah. Anyway, it's Christmas, right? Everything's worth it. Well, I'll see you in a while then."_

"It's okay. But don't let my brother see you, okay? You know..."

 _"Yes, Yes,"_ He said, giggling. _"I know he hates me. I'll wait for you across the street. Sasha can also come if you want."_

"No. Sasha went to Shiganshina with her father, as every holiday," she clarified, with a cute snort that made Eren smile from where he was.

_"Hmm. It's okay. Oh, and ... Mikasa ..._

"Yes?"

Silence.

Eren heard her breathing and she heard his.

_"I just wanted to tell you..."_

A pause.

"Yes?"

 _"Nothing. See ya,"_ he said, and all she could hear after his voice was the high-pitched, uninterrupted beep when the call ended.

A nurse passed by and got inside Hanji and Tamara Ackerman's room. A minute later, the same woman in a white uniform came out with the baby in her arms, on her way to an unknown destination.

"Where is she taking her?" Mikasa asked, suddenly going into the room. Tamara was lost at the end of the corridor in the nurse's arms. Levi adjusted a pair of pillows under Hanji's head.

"She's going to bathe her. Four Eyes must rest, so you and I will wait outside," her brother announced, pushing her weakly with his hand on her back to make her turn back towards the door. She looked at her sister-in-law and saw her closing her eyes before leaving.

Yes, Hanji looked tired, but happy.

"Bye, Hanji. I'll be back tomorrow."

The brown-haired woman opened her eyes again, smiling at her.

"Bye, Mika. Tamara and I will be waiting for you."

The Ackerman siblings left and the door was locked behind them.

"Where are we going?" Asked the girl as they walked through the white corridor, leaving it to enter another hallway, slightly less illuminated than the previous one. Green plates on the walls marked the beginning and end of the pavilions inside the Hospital.

Levi didn't answer. He almost never answered if it was not necessary. A minute later, Mikasa realized: he had led their way to the waiting room in front of the Neonatal Unit, only to be able to wait for Tamara to be bathed and taken to rest in one of the beautifully decorated cribs that he could watch through the glass. The girl could see one of the little beds with the name 'Ackerman' written on it.

Levi didn't look as impatient as before, but it was a plausible fact that he kept moving his right leg incessantly until Tamara was admitted into the room and left in the crib, in full view of him. Only then, his younger sister saw him breathe unhurriedly.

Mikasa scoffed silently with a half smile she hid when she looked away: Levi Ackerman was a walking mess, and all because of a little baby.

Suddenly, her brother's nasal, cavernous voice caught her attention, rising itself above the noise in the waiting room.

"Wanna know what happened when you were born, brat?" he asked, still watching Tamara's cradle through the glass. Mikasa turned her head towards him, somewhat surprised by his confession, so she nodded, with a sound of approval. Levi sighed before continuing. "It was snowing a lot. I was 13, and dad and mom left me home alone when labor began. Damn, you were a troublemaker even before birth. The damned contractions began on February 7 and didn't leave mom alone until you were born; that is, you took three days to be born, stupid brat ..."

He paused. Levi was quite aware of the way his sister looked at him, as if she still couldn't believe what was coming out of his mouth.

Then he continued.

"You were born in the evening, just like Tamara. Or at least that's what Mom told me when she came home, after leaving me alone all night in that huge place," Levi scratched his nose. His eyes didn't move away from the glass. "When you arrived, I felt jealous. Yes. All the attention was for you and I was forgotten for a few hours, until Mom remembered I was there and told me to come closer. And I did, but I didn't pick you up; You were a very ugly baby, Mikasa. Fucking ugly indeed. You're like that fairytale: you went from being an ugly duckling to a swan, thank heaven," the captain achieved his goal: to provoke a silent anger in his sister. He knew that she wouldn't say a single word, because she still wanted to hear the story. "I hated you. I never asked for a younger sister, and let alone one like you, but shit happens. Parents fuck and accidents happen, and I had to get used to it..."

Mikasa snorted with annoyance. Levi knew what face she had, even if he was not looking at her. She probably wanted to kill him, but she remained silent instead.

"Mom insisted that I should hold you but I didn't. So days went by, until they left you in the crib one morning, inside your stupid pink room, and out of curiosity I approached ..." Levi's voice started to get a little softer. He was still looking at Tamara. "You had wide eyes, and you drooled a little. You were gross ... But when I looked into your eyes, Mikasa, you looked at me; not like a newborn, but ... as if you knew me all my life ... And then, you smiled at me ..."

Levi stopped again. Mikasa heard his voice almost breaking, and he cleared his throat.

There was silence for a moment. Their ears were filled with the sound of the voices of those who spoke in the corridor; with the cries of a nurse arguing with someone about something. With the ringing of a telephone that made an old man got startled after falling asleep in one of the chairs ... But none of these distracted the attention of the two siblings, who were breathing heavily because of the memories that pressed on their chest.

"You were so naive, so innocent, and you smiled at me, not knowing that I had avoided you all that time. You smiled at me and ... And I no longer cared about how slimy you were, or how annoying it was to hear you cry ... For the first time I saw what you were ..." a pause, a sigh and a sob. "My younger sister."

Levi needed time to recover, and Mikasa needed the same amount of time to absorb what she had just heard.

Her brother was telling her that he loved her, although not so categorically, but she understood him. She understood it so well that her heart skipped a beat, making her shiver.

Neither of them dared to touch the other. They didn't look at each other, they didn't hug each other like other siblings would have done. Because they were not a conventional pair; they were a couple full of wounds from the past, from an early and painful orphanhood they never asked for. A pair that became immune to pain and loss behind a fragile shell that threatened to break ...

A shell that had to be broken at such a moment.

It was absurd all that a baby was capable of achieving in a person.

"Even today it seems incredible to me that you have grown so much, and how much we are alike ... Don't think I am not aware of it," Levi's voice sounded firmer now. However, Mikasa could still feel the nostalgia in him. "Sometimes that's an annoying fact, and other times ..."

There was silence again. There were things that Levi simply could not say. He didn't know how.

He turned to her, finally, and looked into her eyes. To those eyes as gray as his, eyes perhaps a little darker, but eyes that could be reflected in his, like that first time in the cradle.

"I spent a lot of time taking care of you, brat. Don't let anyone break you. Save me the job of having to beat the shit out of anyone who harms you ..."

Levi's voice was more serious, even as always, with traces of that threatening tinge he used when he was pissed.

But Mikasa knew that he wasn't pissed. And she did not understand what that was all about.

"Levi, what do you mean?"

She saw his brother's index finger rise in the air to touch her right cheek, over that scar she barely remembered. It was a touch, a very light and shy one ...

"This ..." And then another one on the left side of her chest, where her heart beat. "And this one."

Levi's hand went back to its place.

Oh... _Oh..._

She understood it well. Levi knew it, because he knew her well.

"I don't- ..."

"You're my Ugly duckling, Mikasa. My swan, my sister," He interrupted her with severity, contrasting his voice with the sweetness of that statement. "If someone hurts you, they'll have to deal with me. Is it clear?"

This time, the captain's hands reached up to her to lower her head and kiss her hair. After a long time, Mikasa felt again what fraternal, and even fatherly, love was.

Her father had done that for the last time exactly seven years ago, a few hours before he died; Since then, no one had kissed her on the head.

A strange tingle ran down her spine and up to her eyes, in the form of thousands of stinging tears.

Before she could leap forward in search of a longed-for hug, a nurse interrupted her intentions.

Levi grumbled and so she did.

They were identical.

"Mr. Ackerman?" asked the woman in white uniform. Levi nodded. "Which one of you will stay with your wife tonight?"

"Me, of course," he replied. The stoic and stern Levi went back to normal, in case the nurse wanted to make some odd suggestion, without knowing the true nature of his relationship with the girl next to him. His rigid glare would make the woman in uniform refrain from drawing conclusions that didn't matter to her at all.

Ridiculous.

The nurse stuttered a bit before speaking again.

"Well ... I think only you can stay here, sir. The other must leave. In this case, your- ..."

"I am his sister," Mikasa warned her, her eyebrows meeting with irritation, just as her brother's.

_Fool._

Incredible, outrageous how the stupid nurse had not noticed their resemblance.

"Oh ..." she begged the earth to swallow her. "Well, I think you can't be here anymore, Miss. The visiting time is over."

"Tch," Levi was the first to complain. Mikasa stood up. She stretched and then yawned. They both planned to pretend that nothing had happened.

That was better.

"I'll be back tomorrow, Levi."

The silly nurse walked away.

"All right. I will escort you out ..."

"No. I'll take a taxi."

Here they went again. The bossy Levi and the stubborn Mikasa.

But the captain had too many thoughts and emotions stirred up to argue, so he just sighed.

"Call me when you get to the dorms, okay?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye. And hey, you brat ..."

The girl stopped and turned to him.

"Yes?"

"Not a word about our conversation to anyone," He threatened her. But he wasn't being serious. "Not even Sasha."

Levi lowered the finger he had raised, and Mikasa nodded before continuing her way to the exit while her older brother lost sight of her in the elevator, at the end of the corridor.

"I love you, too, shortie," she said to herself, away from him and where no one could hear her. Upon leaving the building, the snowflakes began to fall on her, causing her to close her coat a little more as she remembered to wear her gloves again.

Eren shouldn't be long in coming. She could wait.

But she had no idea that three pairs of evil, lewd eyes had been following in her footsteps since the beginning of Christmas Eve.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The night was cold, like every December 24th. The girl looked around, with clouds of icy smoke that escaped from her mouth every time she exhaled, feeling that all the clothes she was wearing were not enough to hide her from the cold. Neither her coat, nor her hat, nor her wool gloves, nor the ugg boots that Levi had bought her a few days before so that her feet were warm during those winter days. Almost freezing and standing in the corner next to the Hospital building, Mikasa tried not to think that that very night, his parents were exactly seven years of having been killed. She closed her eyes, trembling, shaking her head to get rid of the haunting memories; What better escape than music then? She pulled her phone out of her pocket and plugged in her headphones to listen to a few songs while she waited for Eren. Not a single soul could be seen in the street, and cars would barely cross the road at that time of night, especially on Christmas Eve.

If Levi could have heard the volume of her cell phone, he would have ripped it out of her hands, tearing it to shreds. It was Mikasa's habit to break her eardrums every time she listened to music, and more than once Sasha had had to throw something at her head to get her to pay attention. That night was no exception: the sound in her ears was so loud that she did not notice the figure that slid behind her to cover her mouth and keep her from screaming. It all happened in a second: a tall, stocky man squeezed her torso and arms to immobilize her completely. However, Mikasa knew enough of self-defense to be able to get away, at least for a thousandth of a second, before a second individual as high as the previous one blocked her way, giving the first one another chance to grab her again. She fought, yes, she did; she wasn't going to make it easy for them. But they were two against one, plus a handkerchief coated with chloroform to numb her senses, before she could move an inch.

.

At the same time, Eren's white BMW parked in the next corner, waiting to see her under the streetlights that illuminated the snowy road at that time. Luckily to him, Carla had made him wear the red scarf he wore that cold night, as when he was younger, before going out into the street. After all, a mother always knew, and Eren had to admit that if it had not been for her, he would have frozen when she stepped onto the street.

And he did.

Eren saw her.

His eyes had to get used to the sudden movements, and then to the stillness of two whatstheirnames who got a motionless body into a dark van.

Hell no.

No no no no no. Shit, no.

"Mikasa!" he shouted, before getting out of his car to go help her. But it was too late. He could only see her purple wool warm cap fall to the floor, while the van door closed and started running, with the girl inside ...

Unconscious. Mikasa was unconscious.

What would they do to her? What the hell was going on?

Why?

No. Not her. Nobody could dare to touch her.

Eren took longer to think about it than his body moved. A second later, he turned on his car again to chase after anyone inside the damn van. He was going to kill them; he had sworn to himself that he would kill them.

.

"Shit! Kenny was right, Floch. The girl was not easy to get. But keeping an eye on her the whole damn day was totally worth it," The thick-bearded man said to the boy who was driving. Floch sweated cold and his eyes flickered nervously.

"B- But ... are you sure about this? Her brother is a policeman ... What if he finds us ??"

"No way. By the time this little bitch wants to talk, we'll have enjoyed her beautiful body and she won't even know who we are," Said the third of the trio, causing his partner to burst out laughing.

"Don't worry, Flochie, you don't have to try her if you don't want to. It's better to split this cake only for two."

The black van slid quickly on the highway, taking advantage of the road's emptiness and the lack of traffic police. The thick-bearded guy, the one who had held Mikasa first, grabbed the girl's face and squeezed her mouth as he licked his lips and moistened them with a lewd and evil expression.

"Look at this," he told his bald partner. "She's a beauty."

"Don't rush. Wait to get to the warehouse, because we couldn't do anything here."

Both of them swallowed. The young driver looked at them fearfully through the rearview mirror.

"I'll bang her first," said the bearded man, staring lecherously at the features of the fainted girl.

The white BMW was about to crash them, when the van turned left, entering an underground parking lot two blocks ahead. Eren waited. He waited, because he had to, but not because he wanted to. He had to attack them by surprise without giving them time to react, and that was how he left his car on the side of the road, in his desperate search for an object with which he could hurt them ...

No.

Kill them

Beasts like these didn't deserve to live.

A baseball bat that he didn't remember how had ended up in the trunk of his car was all he found. Eren took it in his hands and walked into the parking lot, quickly realizing that it was leading to an abandoned side warehouse with a huge gate that began to close as he approached ...

His hands tightened on the bat and he ran toward the skinny figure sliding the door. The boy who had driven the van there spotted Eren, but he didn't have time enough to act: the bat smashed into his face, shattering his lower jaw and knocking him out instantly. The blond boy fell to the ground unconscious, and his attacker felt an uncontrollable desire to kill him under each blow, but there was no time. Maybe a few years ago, a less reflexive Eren would have succumbed to his wishes for revenge and probably had killed him; but he was no longer a teenager, let alone a child. Eren Jaeger was a man with only one mission in mind, and that was to rescue Mikasa. _Leave him there, he won't wake up_ , it was all the voice in his head said, the voice that suddenly became her voice, as he desperately looked for her with trembling eyes ...

Until his eyes stopped shaking when he saw her in an adjoining corridor, now awake, but dizzy, with drooping eyelids and hands tied on her back. The effect of the chloroform had not taken what her captors expected, and the thick-bearded guy that was in front of her had decided to tie her up, in case she tried to escape. Eren squeezed the bat as if he wanted to break it, blood boiling in his veins like a bonfire when he watched with a piercing and sharp anger at that monster that was about to undo his pants …

"Not to her, son of a bitch!" he screamed, before crowding the first hit in the back. The man was nimble, tall and hefty, but that didn't prevent him from getting a second and a third blow. If something had worked out well for Eren, it was his surprise attack and his fast movements, which brought down the monster after a fourth impact that broke his ribs.

And a fifth one that shattered his nose.

"Die, you bastard!" a sixth one. Blood began to splash on his clothes. "A rat like you doesn't deserve to be alive!" A seventh one, and the rat was still breathing."Die, you son of a bitch! ..." Eight, nine, ten, eleven. Mikasa's voice brought him back from that unexpected homicidal frenzy.

"Eren ..." she called, hearing her voice like an oasis in the desert. She was still dizzy, but Eren's screams had made her open her eyes ...

And the monster was still breathing, but he wasn't moving anymore.

Eren stopped and went to her, throwing the bat to the floor. He looked at her, wrinkled his face and his brows arched in despair, impatience and relief; she was complete, healthy, safe and sound, alive, and no one had touched her. But there was no time to stop to chat or ask anything: the turquoise-eyed boy's hands flew quickly to hers, rushing to untie the ropes that squeezed her wrists.

"Eren ..." she repeated, struggling not to fall asleep again.

"Here I am ..." he whispered to reassure her as he untied her. They were many knots and very tight, and she staggered. He didn't know if she was conscious, or if the drug she had inhaled was causing her hallucinations.

"There should have been a third man..."

She was not hallucinating. She was weak, but lucid, warning him about the presence of a third one in that place.

They both heard footsteps behind them, and as they turned around, a bald head and a pair of empty, sunken eyes watched them in disbelief.

When Eren wanted to grab the bat again, it was too late.

Despite his weight, the bald man ran towards him with unusual speed and kicked his stomach, leaving him devoid of any oxygen gaps his lungs could store. Eren wanted to get up, but he didn't succeed, and in return, he could only feel the hands of his attacker closing on his neck so quickly that he couldn't stop him. Perhaps life was charging his actions in a blink of an eye? He had wanted to kill, and now someone else was trying to kill him.

But why?

Was it wrong to want to defend an innocent life from an atrocity like the one they were about to commit with Mikasa?

Mikasa.

She was the cause of all this, and even then, he would have saved her over and over again.

"You did this, you damn boy ... I'll kill you ..."

No matter how hard he tried, Eren could not break free. This man was strong and hefty, even more so than the bearded man who was now bleeding on the floor, a few feet away from him. Had he had a gun, he would have shot him. But they didn't carry any guns; They thought it wouldn't be necessary for their attempt to rape a 19-year-old girl. Because she was alone, and because they didn't expect for someone to go and rescue her.

Eren gasped. The air escaped his lungs; his head was going to explode, the hands around his neck tightened harder and harder, and blood flooded his brains, clouding him ...

"Mikasa ... Fight!" His voice drowned, but Eren didn't stop. She watched the scene from where she was, letting go of the ropes, wanting her body to respond as fast as she wanted. But she was weak, and her eyes closed unintentionally. "If he kills me, he'll go after you ..."

"Shut up and die, you damned son of a bitch!" The blow Eren's head got after these words made him wince. Mikasa clenched her fists and sat up slowly, witnessing how the breath began to escape the boy's body. Her limbs didn't respond, and neither her head; everything was spinning around. Everything was spinning and she was unable to control it. But no. She could not let the monster kill Eren. He couldn't die in front of her eyes as she had seen her parents die seven years ago. Not the same day, not that night, no.

No.

She was no longer a helpless and vulnerable child.

And although the drug still affected her, she knew she had to get up and fight.

Eren had saved her before. From the rain, from an accident, from her gloomy life and herself.

It was her turn now.

He stopped struggling at the very moment she took the bat with both hands and screamed, as if that could give her the strength she didn't have.

Mikasa Ackerman didn't know how or when, but all she heard after her scream was a sharp blow, and a huge body falling to the ground next to Eren.

Whether she had killed that man or not, she didn't know it. But after a blow like that right in his head, she doubted he was still alive. A trickle of blood came out from the ditch that the bat made on his temple, sliding down to the girl's feet.

It was the second time she saw so much blood in the same place, and the scene made her want to throw up. There were too many stormy memories and too many ghosts to digest in a single second.

When Eren recovered, he held her before she fell to the ground. He said nothing. He just coughed to clear his airways and lifted her up to get out of that hell, feeling Mikasa's dead weight on his back, and how she was losing consciousness again after that adrenaline rush.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Eren blinked again, he realized he had driven to Trost Central Police Station. Mikasa was fainted in the passenger seat of his car, with hair on her face and breathing heavily. Her nose was red, also her lips, her hands stiff, probably because of the cold. Her purple hat had disappeared, and so were her gloves. Her earphones still hung from her coat, and her phone rested in her pocket. Probably everything had happened so fast, that her kidnappers had no time to take those things away from her. He watched her for a few moments, imagining with bitterness what could have happened to her if he hadn't stopped at the right time in front of the hospital building.

He sighed, clenched his teeth, shook his head and got out of the vehicle, walking to the other side to get her out of there as well. He would probably have to carry her in his arms to the inside of the station, but that didn't bother him.

"Can I help you?" asked a police officer guarding the entrance. With Mikasa in his arms and his shirt stained with blood drops, Eren continued his way through the corridor, not caring much what the guard could do to him.

"I need to talk to the police commander, now."

"Hey, that's not possible. And don't advance if I don't give you permission, boy. I didn't say you that you could."

Eren wanted to lose his temper again. But that was not the best time to contradict him.

"Listen to me carefully: I don't know who you are and I don't give a fuck about it, but this girl you see here is the sister of Captain Levi Ackerman, can you hear me? A trio of bastards tried to abuse her, but I stopped them. I attacked them with a bat, and I don't fucking know if they are dead or what, but you better look for the commander now, or you won't stand a single chance if the captain finds out you didn't let me in."

Eren didn't need anything else. The guard hesitated a little, but judging by the appearance of the two young persons in front of him, it was unlikely that the boy was lying. Then he left, and a few seconds later, a goateed man, tall and with short brown hair walked towards them, accompanied by his subordinate and a policewoman.

Nile Dok didn't know the captain's family, but the resemblance of the sleeping girl with Levi was undeniable. And only that was reason enough to act fast.

"What happened to her?" he asked, looking at Mikasa.

"I think they drugged her," Eren replied.

"Rico," the commander said to the short woman with glasses next to him. "Take her to the infirmary and check her."

"Yes, Sir," she replied. Mikasa was awakened and moved to a room near the corridor where Eren was. Although his heart quickened with anxiety at the prospect of being away from her, he knew that Mikasa was fine.

She would be okay.

"And you, come with me," He told the long-haired boy, before walking back to his office. Eren had to give a statement about the events of that night, and the sooner, the better.

.

It was 10:56 p.m. when the two of them left the station. The effect of chloroform had passed, but Mikasa had not uttered a single word since Eren went to the infirmary for her. He looked at his phone: there were 56 missed calls from Carla and two voice messages. She looked at hers: 24 missed calls from Levi and one from Hanji.

Without saying anything, the phones went back into their pockets. Clouds of cold smoke escaped from their nostrils, and the girl's teeth chattered before getting in the white vehicle.

"Why don't you want to call your brother? He should know about this."

Eren's voice was stern, but calm. They both buckled up, and she shook her head.

"I won't disturb him on a day like this."

Eren sighed in frustration as he heard her answer.

There was silence. But he didn't start the car.

"They sent a police squad to the place. I need a lawyer," He commented. She nodded. "But I don't care if I go to jail; These bastards had to die."

When Mikasa looked at him, she saw his jaw clenched and his hands gripped tightly behind the wheel. The grayish color of his veins rose beneath his skin, letting her know that Eren wanted to break whatever his fists could touch.

"You won't go to jail," She said, her eyes closed and her hands in the pockets of her coat. Eren shrugged, and the silence settled over them again.

The snow was falling and the windshield wipers cleared the glass. Her eyes remained closed, trembling slightly, wishing that the coat could protect her better from the arctic cold she felt. He stared through the glass at the nothingness, not noticing the snowflakes shadows that fell on the windshield and reflected in his eyes, under the electric light that illuminated the entrance of the station.

 _Love the way you lie_ suddenly resounded in their ears, startling Eren. It was his cell phone: Carla called him and he answered at last.

 _"Eren! Oh my God! Where are you? Do you know how many times I've called you? What happened? Why Mikasa and you haven't arrived?_ "

He pushed the phone away from his ear until his mother stopped talking.

"You called me fifty-six times and we're on our way. I'll tell you when we get there, mom. Goodbye."

" _Eren! ..._ " Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Carla called again, but he didn't answer.

Silence again.

"My uncle did it," she said after a while.

"How do you know that?"

"I heard them say his name."

Eren's jaw clenched again.

"Well, he's a son of a bitch. And if I see him, I'll kill him," He was being serious. But she said nothing about it.

There was silence. Again.

It seemed that snow won't stop falling that night.

"Today marks the seventh anniversary ..." Mikasa's soft voice surprised him. She spoke almost in whispers, as if it hurt. He, sensing what she meant, decided not to say a word until she finished. "It was a night like this ... But it wasn't snowing. No. It was pouring rain and I was afraid of the storm; That's why I left my room and went to theirs, so I could sleep with no fear. Mom said I was all grown up and I shouldn't be afraid, but Dad always welcomed me with open arms and hugged me until I fell asleep, after mocking her at how grumpy she was when dad contradicted her …"

Mikasa sobbed. Eren just watched her.

"I had a dog. His name was Dante. He was my best buddy, along with Sasha, and he slept in my room, except for that night, because Papa wouldn't let him into his room. So I made him go downstairs and I went with them ... It seems incredible that it's been so long since I heard him bark for the last time …" She paused. She sighed and let the tears slide down her cheeks. "Everything happened in a blink of an eye: Dante's barking, the shot that woke us up and killed my dog. Dad standing up to protect us after saying: 'Tamara, don't go out, stay with Mikasa'. Then we heard a struggle, and something heavy that fell to the ground. Two men with covered faces burst into our room, and Mama fought too; she fought, but they were stronger ... And they won. And they cut her neck in front of me, after having done it to dad ..."

She pouted, preventing her voice from breaking even more. Eren's heart had already shrunk long ago.

"Mom told me to run away, to run, but I couldn't move ... And I saw her die. I saw her fall and I heard when one of them said: 'don't kill her, she is just a kid. She won't say anything.' I would have preferred to die with them, Eren. Because the world is cruel …" She shivered because of the cold, and her teeth chattered, as the memories continued hammering her brains without giving her rest. "Because there are people who kill other people with no reason or justice. Because they took my parents away from me and it was like they ripped off a piece of my soul. Because there are others who kidnap you in a street just to ..." the girl cleared her throat and continued. "Because if you are weak, nobody will have mercy on you. Because if you don't get to rescue me, I don't know what would become of me..."

Despite all her tears, Mikasa's voice remained almost intact until the end. Despite the cold, despite her past, her ghosts, her pain, and her fear.

Eren wanted to touch her, wipe her face, kiss each one of those tears and stop them. He wanted to hold her, cradle her in his lap and protect her from the cruel world. Eren wanted to ...

The turquoise eyes outlined each edge of her face, each contour, each tear that caressed her cheeks and her sharp jawline. He saw gray clouds above her and wanted to chase them away. He saw strands of dark hair hiding her beautiful face and wanted to push them away.

When Eren looked at her, he saw something new.

She was something new.

He saw her eyes and the small salty drops that moistened her eyelashes in a serene and rhythmic dance; He stuck his turquoise stones in that beautiful profile carved by God and the lips that silently mourned a bitter prayer for her parents' memory. He saw her cry, and something in his chest hurt. And Eren knew: it hurt for her. Because he was so useless that he could do nothing to help her get rid of all the sadness that she had carried inside for so long. Eren knew it. His heart ached, but this was a different kind of pain. A different kind of love.

A love unlike any love he had felt before.

A love different from Carla's, because when he looked at his mother, he never felt afraid of losing her.

A love different from Faye's, because his little sister would always be there with him.

A love different from Armin's, because no matter how many times he argued with his best friend, it was enough just one call and a 'sorry, shithead, I didn't mean it', and that was all. An apology that would go back things to normal after an argument and their friendship would remain intact.

But Mikasa was something different.

This was a different kind of love.

The kind of love that comes with pain and fear.

The kind of love that comes with the insecurity of not being loved back.

The kind of love that comes with a sharp knife, opening a wound so deep in the chest that makes it bleed forever and never closes.

The kind of love that nobody can understand and nobody wants to because God knows that it would freak everyone out.

The kind of love that makes you want to always be with that person forever, but also makes you wish for their happiness, even if they're not by your side, even if their absence leaves a supermassive black hole in your chest that you have to live with for the rest of your life.

The kind of love that makes you pant agonizingly over that person, even if they don't notice it.

The kind of love that made him want to kiss her velvet-like skin and kiss her tears away forever.

"Mikasa," He called her, after staring at her and noticing the way his heart was consumed in a burning bush when he saw her.

She turned her head to look at him, still shivering with cold, and her eyes full of tears.

With such solemnity, Eren unfolded the scarf from his neck and stretched out his hands towards her, to wrap the warm red fabric around her.

"You can ... have this ..." he said in a low voice, still holding the edges of the garment that now covered her. "It's warm, right?"

With open eyes and arched eyebrows, Mikasa rubbed the fabric.

"Yes," she replied with a thin voice. "It's warm."

Eren's thumbs traveled to her face and wiped her cheeks. These same hands returned to the wheel, leaving the girl next to him with an uncontrollable longing to be touched again.

But neither of them did anything about it.

"Now, let's head back home," He said, turning on the car to start the trip.

Mikasa clung to the scarf and breathed in its scent: it smelled of warmth, of Eren's perfume, of his hair and his voice. She clung to his words, and a warm, bubbling discharge gathered in her stomach and flooded her entire body, stopping the cold she felt.

Her parents had died in the winter, leaving her and Levi alone. That day her childhood died, and even her innocence. That night, Mikasa saw the cruelty of the world.

However, at that moment, there with Eren, she remembered that the world was merciless, but yet, very beautiful.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Eren? What happened?"

Carla didn't need to ask too much to imagine that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Eren left Mikasa with Armin in the living room, by the fireplace, as he told her mother what had happened. And Carla could not believe it.

She scolded Eren for thoughtlessly risking his life like that, but she hugged him and let him know how proud she was of him. Then she went with Mikasa, and she took her to her bedroom and held her in her arms until there was not a single tear left in the girl's eyes. She kissed her forehead, told her that he was glad to have her there, and from that night on, she was no longer Faye's babysitter, but part of her family. And even after all that, Carla still couldn't believe it; because that girl had been about to be abused, and her son had been about to die.

And she thanked heaven because none of that would have happened.

It was Mikasa's first Christmas, next to Eren, Carla, Faye, Armin, Grisha, and Grandpa Arlert. And although she didn't talk too much, that evening was the perfect rest after such a turbulent night. She even got presents, because for that reason Carla had insisted on having her there. Armin opened the huge box instead of her and discovered an expensive 'Unique Beaumont' violin (made just for skilled musicians) that Mikasa had been staring at a showcase a few months ago, when shopping with Faye and her mother. Goodbye old violin, goodbye patches, goodbye, dull sound.

Goodbye to the cold she had felt for so long.

Goodbye to many things.

It was as if she had been reborn that night.

And Levi kept calling, but she just sent a text message in response, stating that she was fine.

And when it was time to leave, Eren wished she would stay. But no. She didn't want to bother anymore. That was Mikasa.

Then he offered to drive her home, and she accepted, with the scarf around her neck, not wanting to leave it forgotten anywhere.

The white BMW stopped on Ehrmich Street, and Eren escorted the girl to the dorms entrance.

There was an elastic force between the two that prevented them from moving away. They were close, so close that Mikasa could feel the heat radiating from Eren's body bristling every pore of her skin.

"Eren," she called him, with that sweet and calm voice of hers.

"Yes?"

"Thank you..."

"Why?" he asked, as if none of his actions that night had any meaning.

That was Eren.

"For staying with me today ... For taking me to your home ..." with a shy smile and trembling hands, the girl stroked the red fabric wrapped around her neck. Eren watched her closely, admiring once more how beautiful she was, and that strand of raven hair that fell between her eyes with no intention of moving away. "For taking off the cold and wrapping this scarf around me ... For saving me again."

Using her tippy toes to reach Eren's face, Mikasa pecked his cheek.

He froze, and the world spun around him for a moment.

She was leaving.

No.

His hand reached out to her before he lost sight of her. And he held her, and pulled her to him, and slid his fingers over her face, once again, as he had done in the car after wrapping her in his scarf.

"I'll do it again and again, forever, as many times as I need to from now on."

The world stopped spinning, and time stopped, and Mikasa felt light, so light when Eren's mouth crashed against hers in a soft, warm kiss that tickled her lips and made her skin sing. Those hands that had defended her with a bat now slid down to her waist, holding her closer to him, as if he needed more of her, as if he were afraid she would slip through his fingers. The snow melted on them, and the world fell silent; the winter became summer; their hearts beat together in a rhythmic apology. Their faces burned, their noses touched timidly and her lips were lost in his, making her feel slight chills of pleasure and terror, along with a tingling that ran all over her body, tasting the ginger in his mouth and absorbing his breath, and he, the vanilla pudding in hers, breathing in her scent, enjoying her saliva. Eren's chest was about to burst, and Mikasa shivered in his arms, and had to cling to him to keep from falling. She was clumsy, but he was their guide, and the two of them gasped, pressing their foreheads together and smiling with closed eyes, blind, deaf and mute before the cruel world that now seemed to revere them.

He kissed her again, and she kissed him back again, as if she had been waiting for him for a long time.

Eren opened his eyes, and looked at her scar. And he caressed it, and kissed her there, uttering a silent apology that she understood and accepted, before lacing her fingers with his, in the middle of the endless night.

The most wonderful night of all.

 


	23. The taste of casualties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. It took me a lot this time, but now I have a part-time job after school, and that takes off time to write. Thanks to all who wrote me and left reviews asking for another chapter, sorry for my delay. I'm very happy about the impact that chapter 22 had on you and believe me, for me it was the most emotional of all until now, but there are many things still to come. In the next chapter, we'll meet one of the Ackerman murderers, and how Levi manages to find them. Eren will have an important role in this, and this will trigger future problems, not only for him but also for his family. But I won't tell you more. From now on, I'll try to make the chapters much longer, in order to unravel the plot more quickly and make certain necessary advances in Eren and Mikasa's relationship. Again, I hope you like this chapter. Leave your reviews, and see you the next one.

* * *

 

 

It had been the longest, oddest, coldest night, and also the warmest.

Eren could not remember the last time he felt so full and complete that he was about to explode.

Mikasa could not remember the last time her heart rose so high, without fear of seeing it fall.

 

* * *

 

"Eren, I know you're half of a moron, but you don't need to exaggerate, okay?"

Eren grumbled at his friend's comment, but maybe he did it out of sheer inertia. For his head was spinning, and his thoughts had been focused on very intense specific memories about the Christmas Eve night.

Everything had happened so fast, so suddenly; The most normal night of all happened to be the coldest, and suddenly the darkest and most dangerous, to later become the most incredibly pleasurable of all his life.

He could still feel the softness of her warm lips on his, and the taste of the vanilla pudding she had eaten and that he had prepared.

"Shut up, Armin," He said, lighting a cigarette after going to the balcony of his best friend's room.

"Wanna tell me what happened between Mikasa and you tonight? Of course, aside from rescuing her from those bastards and taking her to your parents' house ... Because you came back with a stupid face that I've never seen before in your life," The smug smirk on Armin's face was irritatingly funny. Eren preferred to look away from him and look out into the Arlert house's inner garden, now covered in snow.

"I kissed her," he replied bluntly.

"Oh. So that was it."

There was silence. Eren sucked the cigar, exhaled the smoke and spoke again.

"You don't seem so surprised, though."

"Should I?" Armin asked, looking for a pajama in his huge closet. It was 2 am. "Let's say I saw it coming a long time ago."

"Hey, you're gonna have to give me some of those mental powers of yours, Armin. I don't understand shit about how you do it."

"How do I do what?"

"To know what will happen."

Armin chuckled.

"Don't be silly. I've known you since we were children, and it was pretty obvious that you had a thing for her. As for Mikasa ... Well, you made her lose her temper enough times for me to realize that she didn't hate you as much as she said. In fact, Eren, I would say that it took you guys too long to admit it."

Armin was still facing the closet. Eren blew out his cigarette, as if it was annoying to have it lit, and went back into the room.

"I was afraid, Armin," He said suddenly, making his friend raise his head to look at him.

"Afraid? Of what?"

"Of not being there for her in time. Afraid of they could touch her, do something to her ... Not being able to see her again."

With a smile, Armin straightened and walked over to his friend, dropping a hand on his shoulder to pat him.

"Congrats. You're in love."

Eren glared at him, then rolled his eyes.

"Thank you for clarifying the impending, Captain Obvious."

Armin cackled, moving away from him to walk towards the bathroom.

"Did I ever tell you that sarcasm is not your thing, Eren?"

Eren sighed.

"She told me that too."

"Oh, that means she knows you well. That's indeed a good start," Armin responded in a distracted way, as if it wasn't a big deal. "But c'mon, aren't you sleepy? This has been a long night and my eyes are closing."

"I don't wanna sleep."

"But I do. And if you don't go to sleep, you can play something, or watch TV ..." Armin fell silent for a few seconds, and then snapped his fingers. "Or you can call Mikasa."

"She must be sleeping already ..."

"Eren, I sincerely doubt it. And as far as I know, she's not a heavy sleeper."

"Hey, how do you know that?" Eren asked suspiciously, with a slightly menacing tone of voice. Armin pulled his hand away from the bathroom door and laughed loudly.

"Jealous? Of me? Well, you should know that if I had ever liked Mikasa, I would have had more chances of dating her than you from the beginning, Eren. Just try to remember why," he concluded, earning a glare from his best friend. "Now, if you want to know why I know that: Sasha told me about it. If they hear a noise, she's the first one to wake up."

Eren said nothing about it, and Armin understood why. Then he stopped giggling, as if he had noticed how scandalous it was to laugh at a fact as painful as the cause of the lightness of Mikasa's sleep.

Eren shook his head. The conversation that night with her about her the death of her parents still haunted him.

"I'm sorry ..." the blonde boy apologized, tying his hair in a ponytail. At this point, Armin wondered when he and his best friend had let their hairs grow to the same length.

"All right, Ar. But you're right ... I think I'll write her."

"Good idea. She dislikes phonecalls."

Eren grumbled, showing his teeth.

"How is it that you know more about her than me, you mofo?"

"Holy shit, Eren, you should be more observant. She's an introvert; I don't have to ask her to know she hates phone calls," Armin complained, a tingle annoyance in his voice. Eren giggled.

"Do you think she will hate me if I call her then?"

"Well, seeing it that way, I don't think so. You're her boyfriend now, aren't you?"

Okay.

_You're her boyfriend now, Eren._

When Armin uttered the magic words, Eren felt himself floating. It was a strange and pleasant sensation.

He fell silent for a moment, his eyes lost in thought, and then took a breath to speak again. Armin turned on the tv, mocking his friend silently; It was not difficult to understand what was going through Eren's head.

"I don't know."

"How come? Didn't you kiss her?"

"Yes, but ..."

"Eren, stop being a dork," Armin replied, sighing aloud. "It's ... quite obvious that her feelings towards you are mutual. Why do you doubt that you two are a thing now?"

"We didn't talk about that, Armin."

"It's therefore inherent in the kiss, Eren," He clarified before yawning. Eren exhaled, half defeated.

"Why would she want to be with someone like me?"

Armin cocked his head.

"Here we go again. This is fucking amazing, Eren."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, a few years ago, it was you who had to instill confidence in me because I was a lame nerd and a fucking loser. Now, the roles have been reversed, and I must convince you that Mikasa likes you as much as you like her. It's pretty obvious: the way you guys move when you're close to each other, like magnets; Or I could mention how the relationship between you two evolved, like a Pokemon, right? It progressed so slowly that you didn't notice the moment when you were willing to give your life for her, after shouting to the rooftops that you hated her. Because what you did tonight, Eren, was something praiseworthy. Such a premise in a relationship can't be taken lightly. It's something that will bind you forever from now on."

Eren swallowed and sighed. A half-moon smile crossed his mouth, but he sighed again, causing it to fade. Then he covered his face with his hands, as if he had realized something.

"What if she kissed me just for gratitude? What if ... Armin, she's perfect. I don't understand why he would notice someone like me. I'm a loser..."

Armin shook his head and closed his hands into fists. A Christmas Coca-Cola infomercial lit up Armin's room, which until then had only been illuminated by the incandescent light of the moon coming through the balcony through the glass sliding door, and Scooby -Doo lamp resting in a corner of the bedroom.

"Sometimes I'm surprised how stupid you can be, Eren. Sometimes you're so smart, and sometimes you just ... Ugh. I'll give you three reasons; First: Mikasa is not the kind of woman who kisses a guy out of gratitude. Don't degrade her like that. Second: opposite poles attract. And honestly, I can't imagine you with anyone different than her. Third: would dare you to tell me that you didn't feel... Hmm... How is it? ... Eh ..." Armin snapped his fingers, as if that made him remember better. "What they call 'butterflies in the stomach' when you kissed her? Yes, that nonsense. You must have felt something, Eren; not only in you, but from her too. You must have felt something, seen something in her eyes and her mouth that let you know that she likes you back. Or am I wrong?"

There was silence for a moment. Armin waited for his friend's response.

"She..."

"She?" The blond boy insisted, raising his eyebrows with a nod.

"She smiled at me ... And she kissed me again before I got in the car to leave ..."

"Ah, see, you dense mofo? What else do you want? You earned a smile from Severus Snape's daughter in person. I doubt you need another confirmation, Eren. So please stop being so dense. You're not fifteen anymore."

Eren clicked his teeth in annoyance.

"Your intelligence is offensive, you know," he snapped, glaring at him. Armin laughed.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Now fuck off. I told you I want to sleep."

"You're a bastard, Armin. And I've had enough with all your slurs and bitching. That's not necessary; the girl drives me crazy."

"You'd be lost without this bastard, Eren. I'm the voice of your conscience, so that's also a compliment. Now bye. Go call your girlfriend and leave me alone."

"You will be a bitter old man, coconut head. Booyah!" Eren said with a fist pump, before leaving the bedroom. Armin threw a cushion at him.

"Enough! Stop it!" replied the boy with a frown, but before he could throw anything else, the door had slammed shut, and he could only hear Eren's laughter, moving away to enter the next room and, with trembling hands, text the girl whose image had been etched in his retina for a long time.

Eren closed his eyes and saw her. His mind tasted her thin, soft and cold little lips. He tasted again her saliva, flavored with vanilla pudding and raspberry syrup. He closed his eyes and saw the dark gray of a pair of beautiful almond-shaped eyes. That thick, dark black hair he longed to entangle his fingers in forever. The captivating musk of her skin, of the pale velvet and porcelain skin his hands had caressed, was etched in his mind now, in his fingerprints, like a fossil in the earth, or like a portrait made by fire.

Right like that.

Her skin was a flaming portrait on his fingers, and her face a landscape in his mind that he didn't want to stop staring at.

.

_Pop._

That was the sound Mikasa heard when Eren kissed her. Because an invisible bubble around her had just blown up.

Her heart was still beating fiercely, even after entering her bedroom and slip on her bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, thinking, biting her lips, wondering if there was a single human being who was worthy of the happiness she enjoyed at that moment.

She had felt reborn one, two, three, four times; the same number of times Eren had kissed her before leaving, before his warm embrace, his breath, the red scarf around her neck. She could hear the sudden, unruly heartbeat inside her chest, the blood running in her veins; admire each and every one of the colors that now opened before her, as if discovering the world with new eyes. There was no gray, there were no black clouds over her. Not anymore. Everything was different. Mikasa felt different and ready to feel again, with all it implied.

Eren not only blew out that bubble in which she had been locked for so long. He also tore the dark veil that had blinded her beyond herself, the veil that, unbelievably, only he had been able to see.

Memories flashed through her mind, like blades, bitter, bittersweet and sweet. Tamara's birth, Levi's speech about his implied and never-told brotherly love towards her; her kidnappers and then Eren's face stuck to hers; the tiny bluish rays of these turquoise irises of his that burned her every time he looked at her. The vortex of endless emotions that night, and all the colors that accompanied it. Especially, white and red.

Suddenly, winter and snow no longer seemed so bad.

The shrill sound of Paramore's  _Brick by boring brick_  was about to make her jump out of bed. Period: she had to change that ringtone because the same thing always happened to her, and she was tired of her phone's blow-up startling her every time she got a call. She liked Hayley Williams' voice, but this one, perhaps, was not the best ringtone for someone who sometimes forgot that she owned a mobile phone.

The girl looked at the screen and saw her best friend's name on it.

It could only be Sasha in the wee hours.

" _Merry Christmas!_ " she shouted from the other side. Mikasa crinkled her face, pushing the phone away from her ear. She rolled his eyes, before continuing the conversation.

"Sasha, no need to scream, okay? How are you? And why are you calling me at this time?"

" _Because as I do every year at this time, I have to make sure you're okay without me, and I guessed you'd be awake. I saw Levi's daughter's photo on Instagram. Jesus fucking Christ, she looks just like you! What's her name? When was she born? What did Levi say? Was he nuts as I predicted ?_ " Sasha was asking too many questions, as usual. Mikasa got up to go to the fridge and have a glass of water.

"Her name is Tamara. I don't know exactly the time she was born at, and yes: Levi was nuts, but not as you think," she answered with a lazy voice, already used to her best friend's overexcitement.

" _Tamara? After Auntie Tam? Oh ..."_  Sasha's voice seemed to darken and break. Mikasa said nothing, she just waited; she knew how much Sasha had loved her mother, as if she was her own. And it wasn't an odd fact; Tamara Ackerman was a sun with her daughter's best friend: always radiant, warm, motherly. Because Sasha's mother had died giving birth to her, and for that reason, the brown-haired girl did not feel her absence so much as she had felt Tamara's.

Mikasa took a sip of water and sighed. A few minutes ago, someone had chased away the ghosts of her past, and she was sure she didn't want them back.

"Yes. After her. When will you be back?"

" _On January 2. I want to go now, but Papa won't let me. He got himself a 37-year-old girlfriend and the bish thinks she can be my friend or something. She's a weirdo. I just hope their thing doesn't last long."_

"All right. Your dad's a workaholic, Sasha. You should let him have a little fun, right?" Mikasa said, after taking a full glass of water. She went back to bed, letting her head and hair hang on the edge and making everything turn upside down in the room.

_"What? Are you fucking serious? You ate pudding recently, right, Mikasa? You know how weird you act when you eat sugar late at night..."_

Mikasa bit her lower lip and the corner of her mouth stretched a little, with a slight smile.

"A bit... Maybe."

" _Shit ..._ " Sasha fell silent. It took her so long to go back to the call that Mikasa had to take a look at her phone screen to verify that the call hadn't ended.

But no. The timer was still running.

"Sasha? Are you there?"

_"Yes, but ... I notice you weird. Did something happen in my absence?"_

"Weird? What do you mean?"

" _I dunno. You tell me what I mean,_ " Sasha replied, mimicking Mikasa's cold voice tone and the trick questions that her friend used to ask when she wanted to make her confess her thefts from the monthly menu they kept in the fridge. The dark-haired girl snorted, absent-mindedly sliding her hand over her belly.

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter?" Mikasa pronounced seriously. Sasha burst out laughing.

_"Good try, Snape. But that only confirms that something happened to you and you don't want to tell me. I know you better than yourself, silly."_

Mikasa sighed.

The taste of Eren's kisses still rested on her tongue.

"Nothing I can tell you through here. You must wait until your return."

_"Fine. So you won't tell me what's making you so funny?"_

"Hmm. No."

Deep inside, Mikasa was dying to tell her. But then she wouldn't have finished her story that night, and knowing Sasha, she wasn't going to stop screaming.

She heard a frustrated growl from the other side of the phone.

_"I won't insist because I know you'll say nothing now. But I'll make you sing like a little bird when I get back to Trost."_

"Sure."

_"Meh. Well, I'm going to sleep. I hope you go to bed soon, too."_

"I'm on the bed, Sash. Hang up now."

Mikasa, knowing so well her best friend's expressions, could imagine her rolling her eyes, while listening to her resignation sigh.

"I love you too, Mikasa. I adore you, even if you're a mean bish. Bye," she said and cut the call, before Mikasa could lecture her for having called her 'mean bitch'.

What Sasha did not know was that none of that would happen, simply because Mikasa Ackerman only had a head for one thing that night.

After putting the phone aside, her hands traveled to her lips and she closed her eyes for a moment, wishing that Eren was right there, next to her at that moment.

A short chime announced that she got a message, and she was sure that Sasha had forgotten something. But her eyes shone when she saw the name on the screen.

 _E: Hi, Slytherin_ -snake emoji- _. Are you awake?_

Amazing how Eren Jaeger could destabilize both her emotions and her constant state of serenity with just one message.

"Calm down, Mikasa. Just calm down," she said to herself, sighing, unlocking the phone to answer.

_M: Here I am._

Eren smiled from the other side. Armin was right, as always.

_E: Ik am a reckless dork, but I wanted to ask u 2 questions. The 1st one: r u ok?_

Mikasa's hands were slightly shuddering, and also his. Before answering, she thought of endless answers as she typed ...

 _Perfectly._  No. That was exaggerated.

 _Kinda_. No. That kind of answer could be pathetic. Eren could misinterpret it and get worried.

 _Not at all._  Pfff. That was not the best option either.

_M: Yes. What about you?_

Eren wondered why she had taken so long to write. But he did not say anything about it.

_E: I'd say yes. Well, my wounds don't hurt anymore. Also, talking to u makes me feel better. Armin says you don like to talk on the phone, but I want to ask if I can call u. Am 2 lazy 2 write._

Mikasa scoffed with a lopsided smile. That paragraph had been long enough for someone who didn't like typing.

In response, Mikasa pressed the call icon next to his name and took the phone to her ear to hear Eren's voice.

"Armin should know that there are people who make me break that rule," she clarified, getting up to sit on the window frame and watch the snow.

" _Wow_ ," she heard Eren say on the other side. " _That was fast. And I guess, after all, Armin doesn't know it all."_

Mikasa snorted, tilting her head. Eren intuitively sensed that she was smiling, and that made him feel proud.

"I guess not. Now tell me, what's your second question?"

Eren giggled. Mikasa's heart skipped a beat, beating so fast that she was sure it could stop at any moment.

 _"I thought I was the itchy one,"_  The boy's voice was deep and calm. She closed her eyes and caressed the edge of her scarf when her olfactory memory reminded her of the ginger and peppermint musk from Eren's breath.

Then she wondered if salvation and love could have a smell, and her response didn't take long to arrive.

"I have my moments," she replied, making Eren laugh again.

_"You really want to know?"_

"Of course."

Their teasing was stimulating, and soon both of them would realize how much they would like that kind of ... games.

It was not so Eren to beat around the bushes, and this time was no exception.

_"Who kissed you better, Jean or me?"_

Had he seen the blushing mess that Mikasa had become, Eren would have made fun of her as he hugged her tightly.

"Huh?"

Eren let out one of his guffaws and she blushed even more.

_"You don't have to answer me, but I'm really interested in knowing the answer."_

Mikasa stammered a bit before uttering another word.

"It was already months ago. I don't remember well, Eren ..."

"Sure?" he insisted. She shook her head, as if he could see her.

_"Well ... It's not like it was a particularly long kiss ..."_

" _C'mon, I don't think you've forgotten about it completely. It was your first ... Ugh, your first kiss with that horse face after all,"_  he grumbled bitterly, and Mikasa could imagine him wrinkling his face in annoyance.

"Eren ..." she scolded him. He ignored the silent lecture to insist again. That's how he was: he never gave up.

_"C'mon, tell me. I want to know it."_

"To begin with, I don't think I can give you much information about it. And I don't understand why are you so curious about it ..."

Eren snorted.

_"I just want to know, Ackerman. I dunno why, but I wanna know."_

"Is this a competition over who kisses me best, Jaeger?"

The boy laughed. She smiled and bit her lip from her side of the line.

She had smiled a lot that night.

" _No. But I'd be very happy to know that my kiss overtook his,_ " He warned, with a smug tinge in his voice that made the girl to bite her lip again, until it turned carmine.

"I think that kind of answers could only be given personally, Eren."

 _Thump-thump ... Thump-thump_  ... That was the sound that pulsed in her ears the moment she uttered those words. Mikasa didn't know why or how, but Eren awoke a side of herself that she didn't know until now.

Was she ... teasing him? Yes, she was teasing him and it had not been her intention. At least not from the beginning.

" _I think that this answer would be much better than I expected,"_  he announced as he tied his hair in a bun. Eren had no idea how much Mikasa liked to see him with his hair tied in a manbun like that one. " _Hey ..._ " he said, a few seconds later.

"Yes?"

Eren was slow to speak again. She waited for him.

 _"How long... it's been since you laughed for the last time, Mikasa?_ " he asked naively and a doubtless tinge of concern in his voice. He knew he had touched a sensitive point; Eren had never been more aware of anything like the fact that this was a sensitive subject for Mikasa. However, it was not in his being to let it pass.

Still sitting in the frame of the window, the girl rested her forehead against the glass, fogging it with her breathing. The swirl of emotions within her sharpened her senses, and although she knew that the snow had no sound, she was sure that she could hear it falling from inside her room. For some reason, Eren's question did not bother her at all.

"I don't really know ... I can't remember well."

There was silence between them. But this was not an uncomfortable one. Mikasa knew he wanted to say something else, and he still could not find the words to open his mouth again.

Eren sighed and she heard him. That sharp whisper went into her ears and down to her spine, causing her to shiver with impatience, only to hear him again.

 _"Would ya make a bet with me?_ " he asked suddenly, baffling her. Mikasa stammered.

"Uh..."

 _"I swear it won't be like the last time,_ " Eren let out a nervous giggle. She bit her lip as she imagined the furrows in his eyes when he laughed.

"You won't give up on that bad habit, will you, Jaeger?"

 _"I don't think so, Ackerman,"_  he warned, still laughing, sure that she would shake her head before his refusal.

Both of them would have been amazed to learn that their reactions were exactly the same as those they imagined from each other. Both of them had detailed every line of the other, every profile, every frame, even without noticing. Mikasa could tell exactly how many lines formed on Eren's face when he laughed; Eren could count with no mistakes the number of times he had seen her blushing, and how much he liked to see her curling her lips when she played the violin, as if this were just one more extension of her body ...

"All right. But I have a request regarding the bet, in case of winning it."

_"Perfect. I'll make you laugh. If I win, you'll have to stop ordering me so many things, Mikasa. Now, what is your price if you win?"_

"Hmm. Do you mean that I'm bossy?"

Eren chuckled again.

_"To be so serious, you're very funny. And yes, you're fucking bossy. Now tell me what your price is."_

"Hmm," she mumbled again. "I think you'll have to pay me with several things, Eren."

_"Oh? C'mon, tell me. I know I'm going to win."_

"First of all: you will stop making bets. And second: you will shave."

 _"Argh, fuck. Why didn't I see that coming?_ " he complained. Mikasa made a mumbling that sounded like a laugh.

"I thought you were sure you would win."

" _I am. You will see,"_  He warned, feeling pretty smug. A half smile escaped the girl's lips when she heard him. " _Hey ... I really want to hear you laughing."_

Eren fell silent. She didn't respond immediately, because her breath had hung on the walls of her throat, and the blood had risen violently to her cheeks.

Shyness crawled through her vocal cords, causing her voice to come out in the form of a trickle.

"It's okay," she answered, oblivious to the way Eren's nervous system accelerated, and the way the pores of his skin sang hallelujahs just at the sound of her voice.

Eren would have given anything to sleep lulled by the voice of the girl on the other side of the phone.

One day, he would.

 _"Do you know who'll be the happiest one with all this?"_  he asked. Mikasa nodded, and both answered at the same time.

"Faye."

Eren laughed and she smiled, a little more widely.

_"Although I wonder if your brother will really like the news..."_

"Hmm. I think it's better if ..."

_"If we keep it a secret for now?"_

Mikasa gasped, relieved that Eren had read her thoughts. Probably he felt the same too.

"Yeah. Yes," she said. And a yawn rolled off her tongue. Eren snapped his teeth.

_"Am sorry. I shouldn't have called you … You must be tired-"_

"It's okay, Eren. I ... I'm happy that you called me," Her cheeks reddened hopelessly. "You don't have to apologize."

_"Well ... It's ok if I pick you up in the afternoon? I'd like to take you to a place I know ..."_

"I'd love to."

_"Perfect. I'll be there at six."_

"Okay..."

" _Mikasa?_ "

"Yes?"

Silence. She waited.

_"I just... Just... Rest well, ok?"_

If disappointment was a scorpion, then Mikasa could feel its sting in the middle of her chest.

But she did not complain, nor did she pressure him to say anything he had been about to say, even if she wanted to hear it.

"... Yes."

_"All right. Rest well then."_

"Eren ..." she called him, before listening to the annoying and sharp buzz of the call ended.

_"Yes?"_

"Jean could not compare with you," she pronounced, nervously and shyly tasting each one of the letters that came out of her throat and caressed her tongue to end up in the boy's ears, who received them with a smile of pride and a skip of the heartbeat.

"Mika- ..." beeeeeeeeeeeep.

Eren was sure that the call had been cut off.

 _"It's Mikasa Ackerman. You can leave your message at the tone if it's urgent; otherwise, don't bother trying. Thank you,_ " It was all he heard when he dialed her number, waiting for her answer. Probably her phone had died in the middle of the conversation, and Eren didn't insist again.

But there, after slipping on her bed and with her chest widening sharply to the rhythm of her hasty breathing, the girl tried to recover from that unexpected drive. Flushed, with strands of hair spread across the sky-blue sheets, she felt millions of feathers tickling her belly as she bit her lip, smiling to herself and thinking of the invisible range of bright colors that now stretched before her eyes.

A range of colors that only she could see, and that only Eren could paint.

"He makes me happy, Mama," she whispered, facing the window as her eyes fixed on the dark, snowy sky. She knew that she would never receive an answer from there, but if her mother could listen to her, then she would be the first to know that, finally, a bonfire was burning inside her daughter, after living with a cold winter inside for a long, long time.

.

"Eat that, pony face," Eren exclaimed in his room, with a wide smile, as if Jean could hear his scream of triumph.

At that time, there could not be luckiest man in the world than Eren Jaeger. That was totally out of the question.

 

* * *

 

 

Hanji was the first to notice that Kenny was no longer home.

She and Levi did not know when or how, but when they checked his closet, they noticed that there was not a single piece of clothing on it. He had taken everything, probably little by little, taking out his belongings furtively and stealthily, like the rat he was.

Levi was going to kill him with his own hands, because nobody, absolutely nobody on earth's surface could dare to hurt Mikasa and leave unharmed. Nobody touched his monster. No one offered her as fair meat and lived to tell about it. It was a relief that her sister had come out safe and sound from the Christmas Eve night, but he did not want to imagine what would have happened to her if the Jaeger boy hadn't come to her rescue.

There were few times that Levi was carried away by his emotions, and this time he had no head to master them. Commander Dawk had told him in great detail the events of that night, and the further he went, the more the captain's anger grew. Fear, bewilderment, frustration at not being there for her lodged in his throat and stomach; the blood ran through his veins, boiling, crowding in his closed fists and wishing to see his uncle to break his life without mercy.

But he knew it wouldn't be easy. Kenny was an old, sneaky Ackerman who had once been a cop, and he knew how to fool them. However, Levi wasn't going to give up.

"Levi, you will break the chair," Mikasa warned, observing how the fists of his older brother closed on the edge of the chair that was in front of his desk, in the captain's office. Levi didn't look at her. Eren, sitting in a corner and wishing to be swallowed by the ground, put into practice all his efforts not to be noticed; sometimes he even stopped breathing, in case that short, stern-looking man could feel disturbed by the sound of his breathing. The brown-haired boy did not understand how his girlfriend could keep a long face in front of her brother, as if nothing had happened.

But maybe it was better that way. Eren knew he had to learn a little from her and better control his emotions; Otherwise, Levi might suspect something. Or at least that was what he imagined.

"I asked for an audience for you guys," The captain mentioned, walking towards the window a while later, with his back to them. The teacup could never be missing from Levi Ackerman's table. "A trial would be too complicated, and the evidence indicates that both of you acted in self-defense. However ... Both of you need a good lawyer."

Levi was pissed, that was obvious. To his rage over the Christmas night events, he had to add the fact of having to work that day, interrupting his 3 months paternity leave. But he had no choice if his sister was involved.

"Sir..." Eren dared to say, trying to calm himself down. Levi looked at him out of the corner of his eye, tilting his head slightly. "What happened to these motherf-... To the kidnappers?"

It had been two days since Christmas. Levi took a sip of his tea and looked out the window.

"The two you beat are alive, if that's what you're asking. You tore the jaw of the youngest and he must undergo reconstruction surgery. As for the son of a bitch Mikasa beat, he's in a coma. We don't know yet if the motherfucker will survive ... But I hope not, or I will kill him myself," the captain murmured the last sentence, understanding that it wouldn't be possible. But somehow he had to rant.

"I ..." Eren intervened, clearing his throat and waving his right leg nervously. "I wanted to kill them, but I think it's better if they are still alive."

"Theoretically, it is," replied the captain, still facing the window. "Anyway, the charges against you won't be too many. They were smugglers and you just helped to imprison them ..."

"They know Kenny," Mikasa interjected, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I already know it. Nile showed to me both of your testimonies. The criminals will be interrogated as soon as doctors authorize it."

The mere mention of Kenny twisted his guts. But Levi had to control himself; It wouldn't do for a rage scene if his uncle was not there to make him pay.

"Sir, do you think they will pass a sentence? Especially to me; I beat them hard. I overdid it with one of them ... " Eren clenched her fists and teeth at the memory. Levi sipped his coffee again.

"Don't worry. The laws of this damn country are made so that they can be modified for the benefit of whoever has the power. I'm the Trost police captain, and the commander is my best friend's friend. I'll see to it that your court record won't be stained ..." Another sip of coffee. There was silence for a moment. "Besides, I have a debt to you, kid. You saved my sister and I won't forget that. An Ackerman never forgets their debts."

Eren nodded.

"It was nothing, sir," He replied, smiling in the direction of the girl in front of him. When Levi turned to them, the picture was not pleasant at all: his sister and the long-haired boy stared at each other, with bright eyes and discreet smiles, but subtly stupid.

Levi was everything but an idiot. He understood perfectly what was happening. Eren had saved Mikasa for a reason much stronger than mere humanity.

And he didn't like it at all.

"Take that damn scarf off," He said to his sister, stretching the neck of his own shirt. "There's heating in here."

"No," she said bitterly, holding the edge of the red fabric that covered her neck. Her brother didn't know the abysmal meaning that scarf hid, but Mikasa wanted him to assume that she would not get rid of it.

"Can ... can I leave?" the boy asked, rising from his seat. He was impatient to get out of there and join Mikasa as he left the station, around the corner, where Levi could not see them. The captain nodded.

"You'll get an email with the hearing's date. You can't miss, or that would make things more complicated. You can leave now, you brat."

"Yes, sir. See you then," He said, walking towards the door. Then he heard Mikasa's voice before leaving.

"I'm leaving too. I have to- "

"No, you won't," This was the cavernous and bossy voice of Levi Ackerman. "You stay with me."

_Damn midget._

It was the first time that Eren dared to curse the captain. His plans were ruined. It was as if that policeman could read their minds and guess their intentions.

And probably, very likely, that's how it was.

"Levi, I have to ..." Mikasa's protests would be useless from now on. She had no valid excuses: the winter holidays were not over yet, it was Friday morning, and she didn't have to go to take care of Faye these days. She couldn't lie: Levi would notice, and she was not good at lying, to tell the truth. In other words, she was screwed. Goodbye to her plans with Eren.

Unless she wanted to rebel and expose her relationship with him. But that ... Hmm, it was undesirable.

"You stay, I said. I'll take you home and have lunch with Hanji and Tamara. That's out of the question. And you, Jaeger, you can leave now. Or is it that you lost your way to the exit?"

"No sir," Eren opened the door, frustrated. But he didn't want to look back.

"Perfect. Get out now."

The slender, tall figure of the boy crossed the threshold, and the door closed behind him. Mikasa watched him walk away through the blinds that led to the corridor and sighed, meeting then her older brother's suspicious glare.

_Don't blush, Mikasa. Don't blush, or he will notice._

She knew well when to keep a straight face.

"What?" she asked in a cold voice. Levi stared at her, returning the same deadpan expression on his face, finishing off his coffee.

"Nothing."

It was everything, really. Mikasa sensed that Levi knew that she knew. But she would not confess, and he would leave her in doubt.

* * *

Dallis Zacklay, the judge at the hearing, acquitted them of the assault charges, sentencing their Christmas night actions as acts of self-defense, although Eren and Mikasa were not declared innocent, but neither were they guilty. Erwin Smith himself was in charge of making them both recognize the fact of helping to capture the smugglers, leaving only one out, while the other three were still waiting to recover to be finally imprisoned under illicit business charges and attempted sexual abuse. Kenny's hunt would only give Captain Ackerman another problem, but it was the one that bothered him the least. In fact, he was more disturbed by the results of the forensic automotive tests on the Ford Transit, found seven years ago on the outskirts of Shiganshina. Moblit sent home the package with the results sent by the forensic, and Levi was forced to break his paternity leave again, at least while reviewing the new evidence. Hanji would understand: he could not afford to delay the investigation, much less with a new clue in his hands. As soon as he finished, he would belong only to his wife and daughter. The days seemed to pass like a waterfall; the January snowfalls were as stormy as December's, and those results only baffled him even more.

What looked like a Ford Transit was not really a Ford Transit, but a vehicle carefully assembled with hundreds of parts from different brands, so that it was almost impossible to find the whereabouts of its manufacturer. The van had been designed for a specific purpose and seemed to be a thousand-piece puzzle. Only an unknown logo engraved on the steering wheel (a T wrapped by two snakes similar to those of the medical emblem) and the back of the seats told him that there could be a light in the middle of darkness. Start from scratch, again; start with that symbol and its origin and look for the car manufacturer, with Zeke Jaeger's help, the only one involved until then, even if the latter had no idea what they were talking about. Erwin Smith used to be right in saying that nothing was as white as it seemed, and that there was always a dark spot in some corner that sooner or later would end up smearing everything. Levi didn't forget it. On this premise depended an investigation that had been truncated for years, and that still seven years later hung in the balance, depending now on the captain's and his best friend's intuition and suspicion. The Shiganshina Police Investigation Corps had already given the order for the search in the old Ackerman house, which now belonged to the Reeves, a family of merchants who bought the house after the death of its first owners. There, in the house backyard, the Ackerman siblings had buried Dante, after the forensic body dismissed him as a possible evidence in the murder without any previous study. He would travel to Shiganshina in February and the remains of the dog would be removed. But he wouldn't tell anything to Mikasa. He didn't want to reopen that wound in her, and less now that he noticed her ... different.

Levi did not have time to sit and think about the reason why his sister seemed to gradually abandon her gloomy expression, but he could sense the reason why.

And one day he would face her, when all this could end at last. Because until then, he only had one thing in mind.

It would take him a considerable amount of time to realize that the people he was looking for could be much closer than he could ever imagine.

 

* * *

 

When Eren entered the nightclub to start his workday, he was sure that he would find his older brother at the bar, doing some accounting or taking stock. He had just seen his car in the garage and went up to the main hall, wrinkling his face as he prayed that Zeke would not notice the snow on his clothes, after the snowball war he had had with Armin and Mikasa. So he sighed in relief at not seeing him in any corner of the room, knowing that he would not be lectured for dropping the snow on the floor so he could change his clothes before his brother or Pieck caught him. With lazy steps, Eren went upstairs to the second floor and entered the dressing room, where he had kept a pair of clothes for accidents like that, and put on his apron before starting to clean. Everything happened so fast that he barely noticed the moment he went down again to the living room, until Pieck's whispered voice from the toilet closet alerted him to her presence.

The boy was about to turn the handle and open the door, but the hisses increased. She and Zeke did not want to be heard, but neither did they seem very worried about the presence of the most recent intruder; they probably had not even noticed his arrival, however, they knew that Eren could appear at any moment ...

And Zeke's whispers that followed Pieck's made him stick his ear to the door.

"I don't know ..." his brother murmured. Eren wanted to understand what the preamble of that phrase was.

"I think we should leave, Zeke," Pieck's voice intervened. "With Ackerman doing a thorough investigation of this, those people could ..."

_Ackerman ..._

"Leave? Where? The captain is stepping on my toes, and so are they. No matter where we go, they will find me."

_They? Who?_

"I don't know. Far away from here, where the shadow of that murder no longer chases you. You paid your sentence, love. It's not fair that they still go after you for the same reason, and also after your family."

Murder? What the hell was she talking about?

Eren's ear sharpened, sticking it to the door.

"I fear for my siblings, Pieck. They are the only thing that matters to me. Not even my father."

There was silence. Eren could hear the heavy, pumping beats of his own heart, spreading down his feet and up to his head. His hands trembled slightly like a leaf swaying in the breeze, about to fall.

"Don't worry about them. Eren is already an adult, and Faye has Carla to protect her. You and I have to get out of here, soon ..."

"You know I can't. Ackerman promised we would be safe, Pieck. I don't like the damn shorty, but he is a man of honor and will keep his word; I have no choice but to stay here until the case is resolved."

"Yeah? And what will we do in the meantime? Wait for those guys to come and kill us because you collaborate with the police? They did it once, Zeke: you went to prison and paid a sentence that was not yours alone when you helped them kill the policeman's parents. They will do it again, and this time it could be worse ... Worse for the both of us, because I'm part of your life now, so that involves me."

"Lower your voice, Pieck. Eren can come at any time and I don't want him to know anything about this."

Too late.

The breath escaped the boy's lungs like a ghost that flees from the grave. His legs wavered, his chest tightened, and breathing became heavy.

Actually, there was not much to ask, nor what to understand. Everything was clear.

His older brother had killed his girlfriend's parents.

It had to be a joke, a bad trick. A nightmare, maybe, but he wasn't dreaming. He was awake and wished he had never heard that statement. Now he understood better: those two years when Zeke was absent were because he actually served a sentence. That's why Carla didn't trust him, that's why Grisha felt ashamed of his eldest son and his relationship with him was almost non-existent. That's why his father kept documents with the name Ackerman written on them ... That's why. Was he covering him up? He did not know, he didn't know it; but a hidden corner of his brain let him know that he had to go back to review those papers he still had in his possession.

In an involuntary act of anguish and despair, Eren put his hands to his head. He wanted to understand why, of all people, had his brother happened to be the Ackerman murderer.

How could he look at Mikasa's eyes from now on? How could he even touch her without feeling guilty? Because it was not his fault, but he could not live knowing the truth without telling her what he now knew and how much it hurt.

Universe conspiracies could be quite merciless.

Eren walked toward the bar in giant, aching steps, one hand on his belly and the other trying to reach the first chair he could find. An atrocious and barbaric anxiety took possession of his marrows while he buried his face in his hands, as he tried to accept the harshness of his reality.

If only he had arrived a few minutes later; if only he had held Mikasa's hand in his for a few more seconds and kissed her longer before saying goodbye to her, then now he wouldn't have to face the grim and ignominious constriction that strangled his lungs.

If only...

Eren had been a victim of coincidences before, but none as bitter as this one. Fate had a rather sadistic way of lacing ways, and he wondered if that would be the first of an even longer trip.

Honestly, he did not want to know.


	24. Leave out all the rest

"Faye, be careful."

It was not the first time Mikasa had repeated that phrase over and over again. The frozen surface of the lake next to the park was the perfect setting for ice skating, and Faye wouldn't be left behind. She loved skating and seemed to have a special talent for it, so her nanny was not afraid for her, but for the gang of children who admired her cartwheels and skated behind her in the middle of uuuuhhhhs and ahhhhs of amazement.

"Look at me, Mikasa! Look what I'm doing!" the little girl exclaimed, waving her arms while doing a camel spin. The babysitter waved her hand to let her know she was watching her from the other end of the runway, standing at the edge of the lake without taking her eyes off her. She was still worried about the entourage of brats that followed Faye, especially the Braun girl, who kept running around. She was about to ask Faye to come back, when a pair of tanned arms closed around her chest, preventing her from jumping out of her place and falling because of her shock.

"AAAAAckerman!" The girl's response was immediate: after applying pressure on her "attacker" knuckles, she grabbed the index finger of his right hand and pulled it down, using a finger dislocation technique to make it rotate and then block his movements by immobilizing his arm behind his back. All in a thousandth of a second, and Mikasa had to stop her defense by listening to the scream of the so-called stranger. "Mikasa! It's me! Let go! Let go!"

She let him go, and Eren winced his face in pain, shaking his hand to recover from the assault. She watched him in surprise, her eyes and mouth slightly open.

"I didn't realize it was you ... I'm sorry …" she apologized. She wasn't slow to take off her wool gloves and hold his hand to massage it while Eren was still panting. "I am sorry..."

"It's okay. But what the fuck, that hurt a lot. I didn't know they taught that in karate schools."

Mikasa shook her head, still rubbing the boy's hand, her eyes fixed on his fingers.

"It's not karate. It's Krav Maga," she replied, with a half smile on her lips.

"Ah ... Whatever, it hurts like hell. I knew you were strong, but ... not how much ..."

"I wasn't using my strength," she clarified, looking him in the eyes this time. "I just knew where to squeeze. That's what the technique is about."

"Hey. You should teach me how to do that."

"Sure," the girl replied, before releasing his hand. Eren also smiled at her, poking the tip of her nose with his index finger.

"Your nose is red," he warned her. He covered half of her face with the edge of the red scarf she wore around her neck. "Better?"

Mikasa swallowed, thanking Heavens that Eren could not see the blushing mess in her cheeks.

"Better."

Eren nodded.

"Where is Faye?" he asked, and the girl raised her hand to point to the girl skating on the lake. "Oh, I see. She has always had a thing for ice skating, hasn't she?"

"Yes, but what are you doing here? I thought it was your first day of school ..."

"So it was," Eren said, covering her hands with the gloves again. "But we finished earlier than I expected. Yesterday I talked to Faye and she told me that she wanted to go to the Wall; that's why I came for both of you, assuming you guys would be here. Have you been to the Wall before?" he asked. Mikasa shook her head.

"Shiganshina is surrounded by walls too, but I never went there."

"All right," Eren said, tilting his head at the same time he laced his fingers with hers. "You'll go with us then."

It didn't take long between Eren's last word and the moment he pulled the scarf away from her face, his mouth descending to Mikasa's to kiss her, holding her chin, making her lean on her tiptoes. She gasped in the middle of the kiss. Eren's mouth was so warm and strong that at times she was sure that her own legs couldn't hold her.

A push that came out of nowhere pushed them away violently.

"I knew it!" Faye shouted, waving her skates in her hand. " _Eren and Mikasa,_ _sitting in the_ _tree_ _k-i-s-s-i-n-g!"_ the child hummed around them. _"_ _First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes baby in the baby carriage, Sucking his thumb, Wetting his pants, Doing the hula, hula dance!_  Ahhh, I knew it, I knew it! I'm gonna tell mom. Ahhhhh! Eren! Let go!" she screamed, when her brother pulled one of the braids in her hair. Then there was a loud, childish laugh, and Faye flew up into the air to end up in Eren's shoulders. The skates fell to the ground and Mikasa picked them up before walking to the BMW.

"Bye, Gabi! Bye, Falco! See you tomorrow at school!" the girl yelled to her friends, waving her hand as they watched her leave. Already inside the car, Faye stood up from the back seat and waved her hands, brushing her older brother and her nanny's hairs. Eren lit the car and started their way.

"Faye, buckle up," Mikasa warned her seriously. Faye stuck out her tongue, looking at her in the rearview mirror.

"So ... You guys kiss a lot, don't you?" she scoffed, smirking. Eren chuckled. The road to Wall Maria was not so long. "I knew you were dating, but I had never seen you guys kissing. I wanted you to tell me ..."

"Wait," Eren interjected, turning to the left. "How did you know that, you Spawn? How do you know Mikasa and I are dating?"

"Ahhh..." Faye sighed, proud to answer that question so accurately. "Mommy always said it. That you liked Mikasa and that she liked you back ..."

Mikasa hid her face in the scarf. Eren peeked at her and laughed again.

"Are we that obvious?" the boy asked. His little sister shrugged.

"I dunno. But you better be Mikasa's boyfriend. Mika is cute, and I like her hair and she is my nanny. And I want to be like her; Besides, I never liked that girlfriend you had before at all, Eren. That hateful and bitter Annie ..." Faye clenched her teeth, showing them through the rearview mirror. Eren frowned at the mention of Annie, as did the girl next to him. "Mommy didn't like her either, but she'll like to know that you and Mika are dating now."

"Hey, don't, you little brat. Don't dare you..." one more round and they would have reached the extreme north of the city, where the old wall that separated the city from the beaches of Trost began.

"Why not?" asked the girl with fake innocence. "Mom will like to know that you guys were necking a lot..."

"Faye ..." Mikasa warned at last, after spending the whole journey in silence, trying to control the exaggerated blush in her face. Eren stopped the car and the three of them got out of it. The asphalt road had been replaced by a sand desert now covered with snow that led to the sea, so all of them walked to the stairs that led to the top edge of the 20-meter-high wall.

"You won't say shit, understood? You won't do it," Eren grumbled with a frown and a hoarse voice. Faye grabbed her nurse's hand as she climbed.

"I will. I'll tell mom and dad, and Zeke too, so he can see that your girlfriend is prettier than his. Well, Pikku is cute, but Mika is prettier than her."

"Faye, I swear to God that if you open your mouth ..."

"Eren," Mikasa scolded him, tilting her head in disapproval when she saw Eren's index finger rise in a threatening way towards the child. He clenched his jaw, but he didn't protest. He thought that Mikasa probably knew how to restrain Faye.

And he was right.

"You don't mind if I do it, right, Mika? You're not like this fool I have as an older brother ..."

"Of course not. But, are you sure you wanna do that, Faye?" the nanny asked, leaning up to the littlest one to look her in the eye. They had already reached the top of the Wall.

"Yes!" Faye exclaimed, raising her fist in the air. Mikasa nodded.

"It's okay. You can tell Carla that I'm Eren's girlfriend, but only if you let me tell her about Armin ..."

The little girl's smile faded as she went pale. She looked at her brother and then at her babysitter, who was watching her expressionless; so Faye did not know if Mikasa was being serious, or if she was just kidding. But it was better not to take risks.

"No!"

"What? What's up with Armin?" Eren asked, widening his eyes. He looked at his girlfriend's lips and saw her mouthing 'later' before talking to Faye again.

"All right. So, you keep my secret, and I keep yours, okay?" the girl warned sweetly, making the kid nod quickly. "Deal?"

"Deal," she replied, lacing her little finger with her nanny's. Eren did not stop looking at them suspiciously, although Mikasa did not mention anything else about the subject as they continued to walk on the wall, holding Faye's hands with her in the middle of them.

"Eren, can we go down to the beach later?" the girl asked, raising her head towards her older brother. He nodded.

"Ackerman, do you know about the legend of the walls?"

Although Mikasa could hear it, Eren's voice was almost drowned out by a northern wind that blew at that moment, causing them to cover their faces. Probably that gust of air was the announcement of another snow storm in early February. The eldest of the Jaeger brothers sighed as he saw his girlfriend tilt her head in denial at his response; In fact, he had been looking for a way to evade the guilt disguised as a stinging stinger that hit him in the pit of his stomach.

It had been days, maybe weeks since he could hear the conversation between Zeke and Pieck, and there was no way he could get their voices out of his head. His recent lack of appetite was nothing more than the physical representation of self-inflicted torture because of a secret he was not sure he could keep for long.

Whatever he did was shouting him that he should talk to her, but Eren silenced the voices in his head, as he had done plenty of times before.

"They say that these walls served to protect the island from the giants that ate people, thousands of years ago, instead of protecting us from pirates. Can you believe that?"

Mikasa narrowed her eyes, covering her nose with her scarf.

"That's absurd. Where did you get that from?" she said, while her boyfriend and she made Faye jump.

"I told you it's a legend. But it would have been great, don't you think? Fight against giants that eat people ..." he stopped when he saw the girl tilting her head.

"Sure," she declared bitterly, raising her eyebrows quickly without looking at him. "Seeing people die should be quite stimulating."

Mikasa turned her face away from him. Faye, deliberately oblivious to the conversation between her nanny and her brother, continued to make big leaps, holding on both of their hands. Eren didn't immediately understand his girlfriend's reaction, but when he did, he squeezed his eyelids with regret.

"Agh ... Shit. I'm sorry, Mikasa. You know I didn't mean that ..."

Had he been there, Armin would have hit him in the head for being so insensitive and not thinking before opening his mouth.

"It's okay, Eren," she said, her eyes on the sea.

_Well done, Eren; well done. You're so skilled when it comes to ruining the damn moments._

The fucking guilt hit him again. So strong, that a thread of bile stuck in his throat and he had to swallow it all. It wasn't worth saying that he was sorry again. That wasn't going to fix a thing. He just hoped he could make her feel better soon, because the girl's face had changed drastically.

In a glimpse of wisdom, Eren decided to shut up. Little by little, he began to learn that it was better to leave Mikasa alone for a while when she was upset or angry at something instead of pushing her, or that would only make things worse. Besides, it was not in his plans to argue with her, least of all in front of Faye. An awkward and annoying silence took possession of the two of them as they continued their way over the wall, being interrupted only by the child's panting every time she jumped, and that was until they went down to the beach, on the other side of the huge wall. He sighed and exhaled, and a cloud of cold smoke seemed to freeze in front of his mouth. Faye left them with little jumps on her way to the shore, looking for small stones that she could throw into the water.

"Don't take off your gloves and don't touch the ice, Faye, or you could get a cut," her babysitter told her, as she watched the little girl nodding in response. Mikasa walked to a rock near the shore where she could sit, and Eren followed her there. The waves crashing on the beach left frozen water disks like a mosaic of stained glass. The seasight was beautiful, but neither of them paid attention to it. He lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke, accidentally calling his girl's attention.

Seconds later, he saw how his cigarette was extinguished on the ground by the cold sand, after being stepped on under the force of ugg boots.

"Why-"

"You know that nicotine is dangerous to the lungs, don't you, Eren?" Mikasa interrupted sternly and frowning, making sure that the butt was well extinguished under her shoe. Surprised, Eren slid his gaze from the muffled cigarette to the girl's face.

"Yes, but-"

"Then don't smoke again," she warned, studying him exhaustively and suddenly. Eren didn't expect that either, but he was relieved to have the girl's fingers sinking all over his face, stretching his eyelids over and over again. "You haven't eaten, have you?"

"I-"

"Don't lie to me, Eren. You have bags under your eyes ..." she fell silent. She frowned again, as if remembering something, fumbling in the pocket of her jacket to pull out a packet of chocolate chip cookies that she didn't eat completely and push one into her boyfriend's mouth before he could object. "Eat. I won't let you starve, Eren."

Perplexed, Eren chewed the cookie.

"It'f okwey, bwut ..." he swallowed to be able to speak better. "I'm not your son or your little brother for you to talk to me like that."

"I don't give a damn, though. You won't smoke again, much less in front of Faye. And you have to eat; What kind of chef do you wanna be? You've lost weight, Eren. Do you think I don't worry about you?"

"Yes, but you're not Carla. Don't treat me like a child, Mikasa."

"Don't behave like one. It's irresponsible what you're doing."

He did not reply. She turned her eyes to where Faye was, after handing him the rest of the cookies bag that he didn't take long to end with.

"Remind me how long this relationship is, Mikasa," he said, half seriously, half-jokingly. She sighed, her chin resting on the palm of her hand and her elbow on her left thigh, following the movements of the child with her eyes.

"We've been dating for a month and ten days, Mr. I-have-my-head-in-the-clouds."

"Fuck. I'm very bad at remembering dates. But I don't forget that your birthday is in a week."

"No big deal, though."

Mikasa turned her head slightly to look at him out of the corner of her eye and Eren laughed.

"You'll be older than me in a short time."

She snorted.

"You'll reach me in less than two months, so it doesn't count."

"Well, you got me on that."

The icy breeze blew again, waving the calm sea before them. A couple of seconds after watching Faye carefully, without losing sight of her, Mikasa felt a pair of warm lips pressed against her cheek and a strong hand squeezing around her waist while Eren gently clasped her in his arms, but also firmly. She gasped at the contact, and thousands of pores bristled in her skin as Eren's breath caressed her face, before sinking into her neck.

"I'm sorry ..." he murmured against her shoulder, inhaling the scent of the red scarf that was now the girl's. His voice was drowned, between the gusts of air, his mouth against the fabric and the anguish that ate him away.

"What? What are you talking about, Eren?"

He was slow to answer. Mikasa's fingers entwined in his long hair, soothing his demons for a brief moment. Eren would have wanted to stay like this forever.

"From what I said when we were up there," he lied. It was easier for him to hide what he really thought if he didn't look her in the eye.

_Say it, tell her. Do it now._

"Eren ..."

"It wasn't my intention. I didn't mean to-"

"Eren, it's ok. It's over, okay?"

He muttered something from his hiding place that she didn't understand, hugging her closer to himself. Eren could hear the passage of her blood through her veins, the pulse throbbing in her neck, and the sighs of the girl that ended in tiny clouds of icy air and rubbed his left ear, sending shivers down his entire spine.

"I'm sorry ..." he said again, as if that could atone for his guilt.

"Hey ..." Mikasa wanted to make him raise his head, but she didn't succeed. In return, she stroked his head and kissed his hair. "I said it's okay. Is something wrong?"

Eren denied vehemently.

"It's just that ... I like being here," he murmured, pressing his lips to that part of her neck that the scarf and jacket could not cover. She stifled a moan; It was the first time Eren touched that part of her skin with his own mouth and without warning.

Mikasa did not know how sensitive that point on her body was until then.

"Eren ..." she gasped. He did not answer; Eren seemed to be enjoying this new refuge very much, while she struggled to keep control of her movements.

She was feeling odd.

Pleasantly odd, and also a little dizzy from the chills that Eren's winding breathing sent all over her skin.

But she could only rest from that delightful torture when he decided to raise his head, making her feel ... Incomplete.

"Now are you going to tell me what happens to Faye with Armin?"

Eren's question took her by surprise, but she sighed, letting her hands fall on her legs.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed, Eren."

"What? Notice what?" he asked, bewildered, while Mikasa tilted her head with a subtle smile.

"Promise me before that you won't say anything about it."

"Fine. I promise, but what happens?"

"Well ... Faye is in love with Armin ..."

"What?"

"But shhhh!" the girl exclaimed, dropping her fingers over her boyfriend's mouth. "I told you not to mention anything about it. She made me promise not to say anything, and I don't think you want to embarrass her."

Eren looked towards the place where his little sister made figures in the sand bathed in snow and frowned.

"Does Armin know about this?"

"Yes. But he thinks it's cute and I agree."

"Cute? She's seven!"

"Eight. She's eight and that's why this is cute. She'll get over it."

A pair of eyes looked at the little girl again. Nostalgia seized Eren, and suddenly he did not seem to be nineteen, but many more; because guilt hit him again, not only for what he was hiding, but also for all the time he had wasted.

"I lived most of her life with her and I don't know shit about Faye, Mikasa ..." he murmured, his words followed by a heavy sigh. Mikasa reached out to take his hand, after removing the glove.

"I think it's time to make it up, Eren, instead of feeling sorry. And no," she clarified, seeing his brows curl, as if he were about to object. "you're not late. She isn't holding a grudge against you, and she would be very happy to have her older brother as a friend."

"How do you know that?" he asked innocently, making the girl smile at him in the middle of a broken gasp.

"Because I'm her nanny, her friend, and I also have an older brother, just like her."

Older brother...

These two fucking words choked his brains. He exhaled and closed his eyes for a moment, until Mikasa held his face in her hands and stroked her thumb over his thin mustache, as if mocking him. She looked into his eyes and tilted her head, examining him, drilling him with her deep, calm and penetrating gaze. Under other circumstances, Eren would have been fascinated to feel naked in front of her. But this time it wasn't like that.

"Eren, are you okay?"

"...Yes. Why do you ask?" He pronounced with a harsh tone in his voice, trusting that his long hair covered his ears enough to not allow his girlfriend to notice how they reddened.

"It's not hard to see that you're worried about something."

"It's not that," he clarified, holding her hands to make her stop touching his face and kiss her fingers. He put back the gloves she had removed and tried not to look at her, knowing that she was insightful enough not to buy his explanation. But he did not want to talk; and he didn't do it until a couple of minutes later, after silently observing the game that Faye was playing alone on the seashore.

"Mikasa ..." he called her, receiving a "hmm" in response. "Have you ever ... felt disappointed of your brother?"

She turned to him, raising her eyebrows in an intuitive expression. Then she twisted her mouth before speaking.

"So... is this all about that? Your brother did something that disappointed you and that's why you're like that, right?"

Eren sighed. He had to admit to himself that he expected something like that from her. For some reason, his girlfriend and his best friend got along so perfectly, and it was a fact that Armin's stay on the same campus as Mikasa wasn't a relief about this at all.

"Yes," he answered, half defeated, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. "But first, answer the question I asked you before."

"Hmm ..." she muttered as her eyes descended to her fingers that played nervously with the edge of the scarf, as if she wanted to forget something she hadn't wanted to remember. "The night dad and mom died ... Levi wasn't there. We have never talked about that; he avoids it, and so do I ... But I always wondered why he didn't get back home a little earlier ..." when her voice started to break, Mikasa cleared her throat and fell silent for a moment, recovering from the bitterness caused by the reminiscence of those events. "Anyway, he's my brother. I suppose they will do things that disappoint us, because they are not perfect. They are just... Just that: the eldest brothers."

Eren gasped, rubbing his face with his hands. The universe seemed to conspire that day to force him to tell Mikasa what should be said.

_Do it now, Eren._

The amount of courage that required doing something like that was something that Eren was not used to and in a second he weighed all the possibilities, but none of them was uplifting enough, and in all of them, Mikasa would end up feeling hurt.

Is it that she hadn't been hurt enough? And also him. In a way, Zeke had partially destroyed his life.

But it was better now than ever.

"Mikasa …" he pronounced. "I have to t-"

"Eren! Mikasa! Look what I found!" Faye shouted, running towards them while waving something in her hand. The boy grumbled, not knowing whether it was frustration or relief, or probably both. "A black shell! It's cute, isn't it?" the little girl asked with joy, showing the odd shell to her babysitter.

"Eh, it's cute, but your hands are so filthy, Faye," Mikasa said, shaking the sand from the child's fingers. "And your nails ... Oh, God. I'll clean them before Carla heads back home. Now put on your gloves and let's go, ok? Before it gets colder."

"Yes. I already wanna go home. Eren, what are you thinking about?"

His sister's voice abruptly pulled him out of the outer space where his head had been lost for a few seconds.

"Me? Nothing. Nothing special. Do you want something?"

"Yes! Gimme a piggyback ride to the car!" Faye jumped as she pronounced her words. Eren smiled broadly and stood up at the same time as Mikasa.

"Your wishes are my commands, Little Monster."

A wave that struck hard against the breakwater before turning into ice blocks, drowned out the girl's raucous and musical laughter that she let out when her brother raised her quickly to put her on his shoulders. Mikasa watched them, walking a step behind them, and smiled, remembering with that hurtful nostalgia those times when her father used to do the same. Mikasa smiled, although Eren did not see her, because deep down, something told her it was time to let go of the past ...

At the same time, Eren let Faye's laughter allow him to lose track of his torment, vowing that from then on, he would do everything in the best way he could: he would be a good big brother, a good son to Carla, making up for his mistakes of yesteryear. Eren swore that he would somehow cleanse his brother's name, and only then could he look his girlfriend in the eye again without any guilt.

He would spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how to get that without getting into trouble, but that didn't seem a likely option.

That was a small fact.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

There was something that worried Armin Arlert, and anyone could have noticed. But his classmates were not the kindest or the most observant, and none of them was an option for conversation. Resigned to swallow his anxiety, Armin began to draw the blueprints he needed for his project at a table in the campus cafeteria, hoping nobody would interrupt him.

However, he was not very lucky when he heard someone clearing their throat from the other edge of the table.

"Can I sit here?"

"Jean!" the blond boy exclaimed when he saw the ash-colored head that asked for permission to approach. Well, at least this one was not a nobody, because it would have been uncomfortable to sit at the same table with a stranger. Jean smiled and Armin followed him. "How are you? I thought our schedules didn't match."

"Well, they don't match, but I think we'll work together on the urban planning project. Have you seen your name on the lists? It appears next to mine ..."

Armin raised his hand to his head with an exaggerated sigh of relief, making Jean laugh.

"Shit, this was mere luck, Jean. I swear to God. I hadn't wanted to look at it because I was afraid that I had to partner with some John Doe."

"Yes. I think we were lucky; I'm lucky, actually, because with that brain of yours, we'll do very well. Oi, why are you alone?"

"Well, I don't know where Connie is, and the girls didn't attend school today."

"Ah, so ... Mikasa ..."

"No. Mikasa and Sasha had no classes today. I don't know why but the music peeps got the day off, so the girls left me alone," Armin said with a smile that narrowed his eyes. Jean nodded.

"I see. It's just that you're always with them; But if Mikasa had been here, I probably wouldn't have come ..."

Jean let out a nervous giggle. Armin shook his head and patted his shoulder.

"Jean, pardon my honesty, but I think it's time to let it go," He said, before going back to his pencils and his drawing book. "She has a life, and you must continue with yours."

The ash-haired boy tilted his head a little, exhaling a weary breath.

"It's not easy after spending whole nights dreaming about her ..."

Armin laughed this time, shaking his head.

"Well, I don't want to know what you've dreamed about her, but I know what you're talking about, Jean. I've been in your place myself, but I knew when it was time to let her go ..." With Annie's face etched in his mind, Armin sighed, letting the smile fade from his lips and his twinkling cobalt eyes. His friend leaned unconsciously forward, interested in the story that the boy in front of him had to tell.

"H-How? ... How did you do it?"

"It wasn't easy if that's what you ask. But I guess that time and distance help a lot. However, I still worry about not knowing anything about her, given the circumstances in which we stopped seeing each other ..."

Jean frowned. Armin was actually concerned at the mention of the aforementioned girl, and that only increased his curiosity.

"Who is she? Do I know her?"

A slightly bitter smile was drawn on Armin's lips.

"Do you remember Annie Leonhardt?"

Jean's eyes opened slowly, a little amazed.

"Oh ... Her ... But ... Why are you worried?"

"Because the last time I saw her, she told me things that I didn't understand. Since then I have called her and she never answers; I went to her house, but they're not living there anymore. She seems to have vanished from earth's surface, and I'm afraid that her father has done something to her ..."

Jean frowned slightly. He was not surprised, but confused. Then he cleared his throat, taking out of his backpack a tablet to draw as he talked to Armin.

"I'm not following..."

"I guess you deserve to hear the story from the beginning, right? Since you agreed to let me give you some advice."

"Please," He commented, waiting for the answer of his blond friend. Armin, who never stopped working, continued detailing his drawings as he spoke. That was how he told him that Annie was from Shiganshina, just like Mikasa. That Eren and he had known her thanks to Historia and Ymir, and how he had fallen in love with her the moment he saw her, but he was too shy to tell her how he felt. Unlike Mikasa, Annie Leonhardt came from a poor family; being the daughter of a sick mother and an alcoholic father, the girl did everything she could to excel in school, but she was always surpassed by the spoiled daughter of the Ackerman family, who with all the comforts in life and a functional home, never noticed that Annie was dying to be her friend, and at the same time, to be like her. Annie hated her and admired her in silence; because while she had to walk to school every day after eating a piece of pizza from the day before (or sometimes nothing), the Ackerman girl got out of a Ford driven by the family driver. While Mikasa was talking to her friends about her super weekend somewhere out of Shiganshina, Annie had to swallow her tears as she remembered the drunkenness of her father that made her mother cry every Saturday. Both were good students, but Mikasa was better; her parents were associates in a huge pharmaceutical company, and she could take music lessons and show off what she knew. She had an older brother who took care of her, and a big house and a normal family that loved her and gave her what she wanted ...

But not Annie.

Annie wasn't born with such luck. Her family was dysfunctional; her father drank every weekend the money that should be used to eat and buy the medicines that would cure his mother's osteosarcoma. Since she was a child she wanted to be a rock star, but an electric guitar was too expensive for her. And nobody knew, nobody, because Annie never talked about her problems. Nor did she say a thing when her father one day said that they had to move, when she was 13, despite not agreeing. She did not utter a single word when her mother passed away, and she mourned her death silently. Annie did not tell anyone that her father had put a burden on her shoulders by including her in something that no human being should include their children, and for that reason, she had become Eren Jaeger's girlfriend without feeling anything for him. She never told that she was sick of her life, and that she would have given anything to exchange it for a second with someone luckier than her.

Only to him. Only him, because Armin had been the only one willing to listen to her. Not Reiner, not Bertholdt, or anyone.

Only him.

Armin would never know that in the end, Annie could give him back what he had once felt intensely for her.

Mikasa never found out about these things, and she did not know how cruel life could be until her parents died.

Since then, Annie and she had been like two sides of the same coin. The one forged through the eternal whims of an unfair life, and the other one shaken suddenly by the cruelty of a world she did not know, a world that introduced itself to her as a thief in the night, in the form of two murderers who took away from her what she loved the most. Both of them locked in a shell carved by the accurate blows of fate. Armin, however, knew that Eren was the hammer that had started to break Mikasa's shell ...

But who would break Annie's?

"So ..." Jean murmured when Armin concluded his story. "You never knew what happened to her?" Armin shook his head vehemently in denial, heavyhearted. "And how did she become Eren's girlfriend just because her father demanded it?"

"I can't explain. She just said that ... That it was something she had to do and her father's life depended on it. That's one of the things that worries me the most. She left without a trace, as if she had vanished from the world ... Reiner and Bertholdt don't know where she is ..."

Thoughtful, Jean combed his hair with his hand before grabbing the digital pen again.

"Has she done that before? Like running away?"

"Yes. But I've always been her only option when she decides to hide from the rest of the world, and this time ... This time she just vanished."

Armin sighed and Jean imitated him. There was silence for a moment, while both reviewed the traces they had made.

"If you want," the boy with ash-colored hair pronounced, turning his gaze back to the blond boy. "I could help you to find her. Two heads think better than one, isn't it? Even when a prodigious one like yours is involved."

Armin let out a laugh that infected his buddy.

"Don't give me that much credit, Jean."

"It's true. You are very clever. It's lucky to have to partner with you, and I think we can find Annie together ... As for Mikasa ... You're right. I think it's time to let her go."

"I think it's an excellent decision," Armin replied, patting the back of his friend's hand and lasting a little longer than he had planned. Awkwardly and somewhat uncomfortable, Jean pushed his arm away from the table, embarrassing the boy in front of him. "I'm sorry," Armin apologized, quickly returning to his notebook to scare away the embarrassing moment.

"No biggie," Jean replied, strangely blushing. Then he cleared his throat. "What do you think I should do to apologize to her? She still doesn't want to talk to me since I punched Jaeger, but I think making it up to her is a good start, don't you think?"

"You're right," Armin said, already recovered. "She likes pudding, so giving her a box of these is not a bad idea, as long as Eren is not around," he continued, releasing a cackle that made him shudder, infecting Jean again.

"It's okay. But I think I'll give them to you so you can give them to her, and that way I won't have to see that bastard's face. I'm sorry, I know he's your friend, but he beats the hell out of me."

Laughing, Armin nodded. Then he closed his sketchbook and put it in his backpack after looking at his wristwatch.

"I don't blame you. That's Eren's specialty. Now, who invites who for lunch?"

It was Jean who laughed this time. Surely a rock-paper-scissors game would fix that problem in the blink of an eye.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

By the time Mikasa turned twenty, Levi had traveled to Shiganshina with the search warrant for the Ackerman's former home. Dante was unearthed and his remains were sent to the forensic laboratory of the Trost Police. A piece of clothing with DNA from one of the murderers found in the dog's throat yielded its results a month later, with the spring arrival; even after all those years, the decomposition of the animal's body and the mixture with the earth, the reminiscences of the second murderer's flesh and blood bitten by the canine remained there, leaving traces that allowed to realize the second finding, together to the crimes record of the involved one registered in the National Investigation Agency database. Minor crimes, but crimes that made it easier to identify the killer. Shocked, Levi Ackerman observed the results, in spite of having Zeke Jaeger's previous testimony together with his confirmation and a clue about their identity. However, after so many years, it was still hard to believe that they had taken such a giant step and that the criminal had been all the time right there in front of them.

John Leonhardt would be arrested without hesitation.

It was March 22nd, the day a police squad got on the patrols, on the way to the Leonhardts' house, the same day that Annie would turn 21 years old. Sirens cut in the air with sharp alarm sounds, alerting everyone on the way. The entire city was startled, in the panic to hear that chilling bustle, synonymous with bad news; some pedestrians wondered who the criminal would be, others left the sidewalks to avoid being touched by the invisible and incisive terror caused by the sirens that filled the ears of all Trost. Eternal and countless minutes the captain saw, marked by his wristwatch during the whole journey, but all in vain. The results of the tests, the evidence, the police operation were reduced to shit when the squad stepped on that house and did not find a soul in it. The Leonhardts had vanished, just like Kenny, just as the tests had disappeared years ago. Levi could not believe it; just as he caught the second, it slipped from between his fingers like water, as if it were a curse or an eternal condemnation. And at the same time, someone continued to use bank accounts under the name of his deceased father, and the forensic automotive laboratory did not finish its job of connecting the ghostly pieces of that van with its initial origins. A game to not win: while recovering one half, the other went straight to hell.

But he was sure, very sure that the van would be the clue that would lead him to the mastermind of the murder of his parents, along with the strange symbol he had found weeks ago. However, he had to wait and keep looking; catch Leonhardt after searching him to hell and back and make him confess, even under torture. Thirsty for justice and a well-deserved revenge (although not allowed), Captain Ackerman was willing to exhaust all his possibilities, and even to die in the attempt, only to ensure that crime did not go unpunished.

The next day, a few hours after the failed arrest operation of the Trost police, Armin Arlert wondered if the secret of Annie's father had something to do with the incident of the previous day, after reading what happened in the city morning newspaper. Suddenly, it gave him the slight impression that the world was crumbling around him, and that the fall was so subtle and pretentious that no one would have noticed. And as always, Armin was right.

But in his humanity, it was not easy for him to foretell the calamities that could fall upon them in less than a second.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Four months."

The smile on Eren's face would have infected the bitterest face. Devoid of sorrow that day, the boy impatiently waited for the hour of her arrival as he did some exercises with his friend in the small gymnasium the Arlerts owned in the first floor.

"Four months and you still don't tell him the truth, Eren ..."

Ok. Such a friend Armin was. Always destroying the illusions with the dagger of reality. But after all, his job as a best friend was not to make him hear what he wanted, but what it was necessary to hear.

Although Eren hated that part of their friendship.

His smile vanished like a wave that moves back on the beach.

"I won't do it now, Armin. Not now that we're so fine," he replied, laying aside the weights to wipe his sweat off and drink some water. The blond boy continued walking on the treadmill, getting back the calories he had lost while eating a piece of pizza.

"What are you waiting for? What if her brother tells her everything? Do you know what Captain Ackerman will do if he finds out you're dating his sister? He will tell her. He will make sure of telling her that her boyfriend is the brother of the one who killed her parents, and she won't like to hear that, Eren. You know it, don't you?"

Eren didn't say a word. In exchange for his silence, he swallowed a sip of water as if it were bile juice. Even he could perceive in his tongue the acerbity of his disappointment, and the hard blow that reality always came with.

That reality disguised as his best friend.

"You know what? Let's not talk about that, Armin. Not now. She is already on her way here."

Armin sighed, disappointed.

"Sometimes I wish you were a little more sensible, Eren."

Silence.

The training ended when Armin got off of the treadmill. The noise of a motorcycle close to the porch reached them, and Eren wanted to pretend that the previous conversation with his friend had never happened. The front door opened, the maid and the newcomer crossed a couple of words, and a few seconds later, Mikasa entered the gym, with her helmet under her arm and keeping the keys of her vehicle in her pocket.

"Oh ..." she gasped when she saw them in their sports clothes. "I didn't know that you guys ..." the sight before her eyes silenced her, because she could not stop staring at Eren's back muscles that marked under his shirt ... And his hair ... God, his hair was tied in a small bun, and he was also sweaty ...

Mikasa never imagined that such a view could get from her the most shameless of sighs.

Armin laughed to himself.

"Mikasa, are you okay? I think your jaw is about to drop," Armin said, with all the seriousness the moment required. She blinked several times, blushed, and looked away at her friend. "Anyway, I'll go bathe. I have many things to do. Bye, lovebirds," He waved them goodbye, patting the girl's shoulder before leaving the room. Eren walked towards her with a mischievous grin and wrapped his arms around her waist, increasing the blush on the girl's face.

"You like what you see, don't you?" he asked, trying not to let out a laugh. Mikasa pushed him with her hands on his chest, but she did not succeed.

"I wasn't-"

Being shushed with a kiss is one of those experiences that make you stay with the sweet distaste of a pleasant defeat. Mikasa learned it that day while she slid her hands over the boy's neck, letting him imprison her between his lips.

"I can't believe that we've been dating for four months today, Ackerman," He mentioned, after breaking the kiss. She gave him half a smile, her forehead pressed against his.

"You're sweaty, Eren."

"Am I?" he teased her. "Don't you like me like that?" he asked. She shook her head in denial. "Hmm. That kiss told me otherwise," With a devious gesture, Eren entwined his lips again with hers, to be interrupted by a whistle that went through the gym door.

"Hey you, lovebirds, my grandfather also has to leave, so I'll leave you alone. Be good, both of you, ok?" Armin exclaimed with a cocky smirk that made Mikasa go pale and move away from Eren, before he shouted at his friend in protest. "Oh, by the way, Miki, Eren has something to tell you. Isn't it, Eren? Bye guys. See you later!"

The next second, Armin had vanished along with Mikasa's shame, leaving her to finally breathe. Eren's jaw and fists clenched, but he could not blame Armin; after all, his best friend was only trying to avoid major problems with Mikasa, and that could only be achieved if he was completely honest with her.

But he was sure that sincerity could be worse than not telling the truth.

"What's Armin talking about?" Asked the girl, watching her boyfriend's movements when he walked away to wipe his sweat off again. She did not know, she had no idea that Eren wanted to avoid looking at her for a few minutes.

"Oh, nothing serious ..." the boy coughed and cleared his throat. "Yesterday I told Carla about us. That's all. I dunno why Armin had to make a fuss about that."

_You're a bastard, Eren._

"Oh ... So... what did she say?"

"She was pissed, to be honest," Eren roared nonchalantly, pacing back and forth in search of his wristwatch. Mikasa gasped, and a gesture of unpleasant surprise crossed her face. "She strongly opposes this. So flatly she says that you will no longer be Faye's babysitter and that you and I must end this relationship …" When Eren turned his eyes to her again, he saw her slightly openmouthed, her eyebrows arched and an involuntary pout. Then he laughed and ran to hug her. "I can't believe you bought it all, Ackerman! Do you really think Carla could say that about you? She adores you. Hey, I didn't think you were so naive ..."

Mikasa's expression changed to a very intimidating one that made her look like Levi.

"You're an asshole," she replied in displeasure. He kissed her on the right cheek.

"Yeah, but I'm your asshole."

"Tch."

Eren laughed again, and another kiss traveled to her left cheek.

"Seriously, Mikasa, do you think I could be away from you?"

She shrugged, feigning indifference.

"I don't know."

"C'mon, can you be away from me then?" With a dignified gesture, Mikasa shook her head in response. "Oh, see? Me neither," This time, a kiss on the forehead. "Seriously, I couldn't."

Before he could kiss her mouth again, Mikasa stopped him with her fingers on his lips.

"Where are we going today?"

"I thought you said "amusement park." Did I hear wrong?"

"No, you didn't."

"All right. We go upstairs and wait for me in my room. I'll go to the shower," Eren soon took her hand and led the way upstairs. Armin was probably still in his bedroom, but he would leave soon, and Grandpa Arlert had left a few minutes ago. Mikasa sat on the edge of the bed, facing TV, and then looked out the window. This was a spring afternoon, those April afternoons that painted the trees with thousands of shades of pastel colors; spring where the cherry trees bloomed and the wind sang melodies in the clusters of leaves as they passed between them. It was Mikasa's favorite station; it always reminded her of Easter holidays in her childhood days and picnic afternoons with Sasha, Ymir, and Historia, before her father called her and Levi to start the Passover seder, like every year. Shiganshina had always been more beautiful during the spring, and although she missed her old town, the warm, light scent of wood and freshly cut grass in Eren's room made her feel as if she had never left there...

"What do you want to do while you wait for me?" he asked, pulling her out of his thoughts abruptly. Eren's voice had that peculiarity, for being raspy and intrepid. "Wanna play a video game in the meantime?"

When she nodded, Eren plugged his Xbox in with no delay. The joystick went to the girl's hands as the thunderous Silent Hill opening blew out in the bedroom, hitting the speakers.

"I warn you: I have no idea of how to play this," She commented, avoiding looking at the moment when Eren took off his shirt to enter the bathroom.

"It doesn't matter," he scoffed. "Do what you can while I'm back, ok?" he added. An electrifying tingling pierced the girl's spine when he pressed his lips against her hair, abandoning her to the fate of that delightful tingling as he made his way to the shower. She closed her eyes and sighed. Eren did not know that he had put her world upside-down that afternoon, teasing her thoughts, making her want things she had never imagined before.

When the shower ended, Mikasa's avatar had failed more than six times. The bathroom door opened and she let out a fussy breathe as she began a new game.

"I suck at this. These damn ghosts catch me every time I try to-"

Oh God ...  _Oh God._

Eren's naked torso shone with the light that came through the window and reflected in the moisture of his tanned skin and all the droplets of water that slid over him until they reached the edge of the towel that unfairly covered the other half of his body.

With no words her vocal cords could pronounce, immobilized by the young adonis' manliness in front of her, Mikasa closed her mouth and swallowed, diverting her gaze to the TV screen. She had just lost track of everything around her, and the effort she made not to look at Eren again was painfully superhuman.

"What were you saying?" he asked, completely oblivious to what he was doing to her.

Mikasa could hear once more the sound of her tongue moving to make the saliva flow down her throat. He had sat next to her on the edge of the bed, and she chose to ignore him.

"I sa-" her voice cut off and she cleared her throat. "I said that I'm not very good at this."

_Calm down, Mikasa. Just calm down._

"Ah. Do you want me to teach you? I think we still have time before we leave ..." while Eren was lost in endless and passionate explanations about handling the joystick and the possibly different combinations of the buttons, Mikasa slid her eyes unconsciously over his contours, over his hair still tied in a man bun, and the untidy, wet strands that clung to his neck and face, tempting her to pull them away. Over his profile and his bushy eyebrows, over that lame beard attempt she admired so much now, after having to get used to see it on him. Over the muscles of his shoulders and arms that began to dry, subtly disappearing the last droplets. She was jealous of the water that had touched his skin, of the air currents that had dried his body, of the joystick he held so strongly between his hands, bulging his knuckles and veins with each press of the buttons. It was something insane, but Mikasa wanted to be that joystick, or, in the best of cases, take its place and be squeezed by those same hands until she was running out of oxygen. A slight vortex of heat flooded her insides and she felt dizzy. She should stop looking at him, stop dreaming, stop ...

"This is how you manage to pass the levels. It's complicated, but it's a matter of a couple more games and you'll be an expert. Even Armin had a hard time trying to ... Mikasa, are you ok?"

"Huh?" She gasped, after flopping dramatically onto the bed. Her forearm covered her eyes, as if she were hiding something. She wasn't understanding a thing at all. She had never felt so many things in a single moment, sure she would collapse. Foreign thoughts to her chastity and shyness; shameless, insolent and boastful thoughts, they twisted between her brains and ended in her face in the form of thousands of red blood cells that flooded her cheeks with a brazen blush.

"It looks like you were about to pass away..."

_For God's sake, Eren, why don't you put on some clothes?_

"It's nothing ... I think It's hot in here."

Too hot to be in the middle of the spring.

"Oh? Is it that so? Then take your scarf off or you're gonna die overheated."

And she did it, grudgingly, wishing that Eren would concentrate again on the game so he wouldn't look at her again.

And please, God, make him get dressed. For all the heavens and the gods and the damn existing galaxies' sake, make him cover himself once and for all.

But no. The dense moron had to lean back and lie next to her on the damn bed, while she covered her face with the scarf.

_Don't look at him, don't look at him, DO NOT look at him, DO NOT ..._

"Who are you hiding from?" His voice was sly and hid the tinkle of a mischievous giggle when he removed the scarf from his girlfriend's face. She made use of her best straight face, because it was the only way to hide her daze.

"Who says I'm hiding?"

Eren laughed.

"I dunno. Why are you covering your face?" he asked innocently, giving her a fleeting kiss on the tip of her nose. Eren loved to kiss her nose.

"I guess I'm gonna take a nap while you finish the game," she protested. Mikasa "straightface" Ackerman thanked God so much, yes, sir, because her deadpan expression had always helped her to hide the effervescent emotions that boiled inside all her blood. But Eren just laughed, completely oblivious to what was going on in his girlfriend's head.

"Well, I'm not planning to play anymore ... What are you looking at?" Once again, he had caught her by surprise. "Ah, my abs ... I had a hard time trying to get this four-pack," he let out an enthusiastic and contagious laughter. "Do you have abs?"

Without any prior introspection to her actions, Mikasa raised the edge of her shirt to show the smooth and plain tummy she hid under the fabric.

"I had, once, when I used to practice martial arts and Krav Maga. But I stopped doing it and they disappeared."

Eren stared carefully and closely at his girl's torso, his head leaning on his hand and leaning forward a little to take a better look.

"Noticeable. Here are a couple of lines. Subtle, but I can see them," he commented, tracing with his finger the skin around the navel of the girl in front of him. Mikasa's abdominal muscles tensed pleasantly, and the thousands of pores rose under his touch irremediably. However, and despite all her modesty, she did not push him away.

They looked into each other's eyes deeply and calmly, and Eren pressed his fingers to his girl's hips, becoming the winner of one of her most exciting and teasing sighs.

He could feel that warm and guilty whirlpool stirring in his belly, carrying all the heat wave to his most dangerous and throbbing muscle.

Eren tilted his head a little more until his lips touched the skin of the girl's torso. Kisses were coming and going, kisses that at first seemed electrifying butterflies, and then seditious fauces, that fragile and hungry left ghosts of teeth that bit and kissed. Mikasa's fingers clung to his hair and made him climb up to her mouth, losing themselves in a hot steamy kiss that neither of them expected. Eren's mouth slid all over her face in a famished frenzy, forming paths of kisses that started on her cheek and ended in her neck, taking out sighs and short moans from her throat that crawled in his ears, waking each and every one of his nerve endings. Bluntly, Eren placed himself on top on her, exploring her silhouette with his hands, discovering with his fingertips all those corners he had not dared to touch before, listening to and drinking from her gasps, rubbing the excruciating erection under his towel against her thighs, against his girl, as soon as her legs and arms made him prisoner. The sound of their lips colliding was fascinating, the clash of their hips when they moved rhythmically, one against the other, teasing, wanting to rip the pieces of cloth that separated them and unleash their most primitive desires. Each kiss was dangerously longed for, and their tongues sang a song of celebration as they entwined, deranged.

"Oh, God ... Eren ..." she exclaimed, feeling the boy's fingers closing firmly on her ass. Eren gave her a crooked smile before his lips went back to her neck, his girlfriend's fingers clinging to his messy hair. The bun was long gone and some strands of brown hair stood between their kisses, but Mikasa kept them away.

"I had always wanted to do that ..." he murmured against her skin, now getting rid of the trousers that so much hindered his exploration. Nothing, nothing was enough when touching her, when he tasted and bit her pale skin, getting out loud moans from her that made him go irredeemably insane. Only her underwear was left and he would have discovered a wonderful unexplored land where he would be the first and only conqueror. He would strip her body and soul, and break her voice, and drink her sobs of pleasure, and there would be nothing able to ...

Eren stopped and looked into her eyes. Their chests were forcibly widening for oxygen, hers for his, and his for hers.

The dark silver of those gray eyes thickened, darkening a silent question she asked him, without understanding his interruption.

"Eren?"

He could not.

He just could not do that to her.

How to make love to her while keeping a secret from her? How could he live with that?

"Mikasa, this ..." his voice broke and he cleared his throat. "We can't..."

"What?"

"This is not right." He spoke harshly, with a hardness more painful than the one he kept under the towel. Then he pulled away from her and covered his eyes with his hands, shaking his head. "I'll go get dressed, ok? I won't be long..."

Eren disappeared inside the wardrobe. She straightened up on the bed, trying to decipher what she had done wrong when her eyes were filled with tears.

Her desire and the wetness in her thighs were shameful and humiliating. A fleeting thought told her she could not stay there any longer. And the girl dressed as fast as she could, and took what was hers and left the room before Eren could see her.

"Mikasa, I think ..." His bed was empty when he went out of the bathroom. "Oh fuck ... Shit, shit, shit, shit! Mikasa!"

The lightning speed wouldn't have been enough to compare the speed with which Eren ran looking for her, arriving just in time to the Arlert parking lot to stop the motorcycle she had already turned on.

"Mikasa, listen to me ..."

"No. Let me go ..." she protested, the helmet already on her head. He took it off. Tears filled her eyes and stained her cheeks.

"No. I won't. Listen to me, ok?" She shook her head. He insisted, turning off the vehicle's engine. "Hey, I didn't mean to do this to you. I never wanted to..." Mikasa sobbed bitterly and he sighed. She avoided to meet his gaze and he knew he didn't deserve to look at her beautiful eyes again.

"Now I know it. It was my fault because I forced something you didn't want to do and now ... Please, let me go, Eren."

"No, no, no!" Eren left the helmet on the bike's handlebar and cupped her face with both hands, firmly, wiping her tears with his thumbs. "No, you didn't force anything. You did nothing wrong and I did want it. Yes, I want it. I want it, I want you, Mikasa, but not like that ... Please ... If only you could understand me ..."

"What? What do I need to understand?"

Eren pressed his forehead against hers. Mikasa's silent sobs shook his hands.

"That I want you. That I've been wanting for a long time ago take off your clothes and make love to you as if there were no tomorrow, but it's too soon ... I want ... I want to wait a little longer, ok? I want it to be perfect, Mikasa; not like that. Not like this, all of a sudden."

She said nothing. He kissed her on the forehead and held her against himself, but Mikasa's hands remained still.

"Stay, please. I beg you," the boy pleaded as he stepped back so he could look her in the eyes. She shook her head.

"I have to go."

"Why?" he asked in a sweet voice, drilling the liquid gray of his eyes with the turquoise of his own. Mikasa gasped as he wiped away the tears that had escaped her so rudely and unwillingly.

"Because this is embarrassing."

"Mika, please ..."

"Let go, Eren. Let me go."

This time it was she who begged, moving away from him weakly and with a bloodless voice.

"Please... Stay..."

Despite his refusal, Eren knew that he should let her go. Forcing her to stay there would only make things worse. With the helmet back on her head, Mikasa lit her vehicle and left without saying goodbye or looking back. Eren gave a kick to the wall that surrounded the main garden, frustrated, with slumped shoulders and broken spirit, knowing that he committed the biggest mistake of his life.

But it was not so easy to leave everything aside and continue.

For the first time, Eren Jaeger realized that nothing was as easy as he had ever imagined it.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally.
> 
> A very Eremika chapter, right? Thanks for waiting so patiently. And don't worry, Eren and Mikasa will have their longed-for moment in a couple of chapters. Leave your reviews; I would be very grateful if you would take some minutes to let me know if you like the development of the story and your opinions about the direction the plot has taken. Sometimes the silence of the readers makes us believe that it is not worthwhile to continue writing :3. It's possible that in the next chapter a character that I know many of you want to see again reappears; So, see you guys then. Greetings to all.


	25. The butterfly and its chrysalis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna give special thanks to Jim (FictionChroniclerNick, here) for betaing this chapter. Holy sheeeet I didn't know I had soooo many mistakes but he did a great job!

Eren Jaeger had always been the carefree and oblivious type. If his actions affected others in any way, that was never his concern; or at least, it had been like that until a certain time ago, right after a certain dark gray-eyed, night-haired girl had punched him on the nose, breaking his septum. Thenceforth, after living an unworried and ambitionless life, his world totally flipped over, disrupting his senses; the fist of a girl, a stupid bet, and some lectures from his best friend made him start evaluating the true meaning of his life.

When Eren looked back to his past, he just saw a deep abyss. No reasons, no purpose. Nothing.

He saw nothing.

When he looked forward, to the future, he saw her.

And although it seemed that everything had come out of nowhere, the reality was altogether different. In the same way that a seed that falls by accident in fertile soil germinates, well, that's how it started: like a small bud, barely visible, that later become the lushest orchard, with leaves, branches, thorns, flowers and colors of all the ranges and flavors. So was his relationship with Mikasa Ackerman, and the boy laughed to himself how much they had ever hated each other …

If they had ever hated each other before.

At the same time, a sting of bitterness struck his stomach from time to time. Because then he remembered. For a long, long time, Eren had been a douche, an insufferable asshole. He was hot-headed, boastful, rude, selfish, arrogant; certain that the world owed him everything. He had failed his mother and his sister, and now he felt ashamed to remember how insensitive he had been. However, Mikasa was in charge of reminding him that he had all the time in the world to redeem himself, and so he promised to be a good son and a good older brother. And he did it. Carla was proud of him; although she had always been, but now she was even more so. Her son changed, matured, chased ambitions, set goals to fulfill, and the sweet child she had given birth to one day seemed to return to her little by little, with steps that were a little clumsy, yes, but ready to return to her.

The mirth that Carla Jaeger felt when she saw her firstborn son become a man cannot be put to words. Several months ago Eren had left home; now he lived with the Arlerts, had a job in Zeke's business, and studied at the Culinary School, as he had always wanted. His girlfriend was really wonderful (in a nutshell, Mikasa was for Carla the perfect daughter-in-law), and yes, things seemed to go perfectly well.

However, she knew him well enough to know that not everything was as good as it seemed. And it was not only her maternal instinct that alarmed her; it was also the boy's rapid weight loss and the bags under his eyes. Like every mother, Carla wanted to know what was wrong, and she would ask him that weekend, when her son had gone to visit her, taking advantage of Grisha's absence.

The inexplicable and stifling absence of a husband who no longer seemed to be her husband.

"Eren, you're really talented, honey. Forgive me for not trusting you before, but I never saw you so interested in all these things, and I came to think that it was all just a whim."

A tinge of embarrassment and apology stained Carla Jaeger's voice when she raised her head to praise her son over dinner that night. Eren gave his mother a wide smile as they both walked to the living room couch, after they had eaten. The Jaeger's huge house floated sadly in an almost sepulchral silence, interrupted only by Carla and Eren's voices; such stillness made Carla be sorry about seeing her children grow up so fast more than once. Some time ago, her eldest son's childish and boisterous laughter had echoed throughout the walls of her home, but he had grown up and left. Now it was Faye's laughter that broke with the monotony that Carla hated so much, but at that time the girl was asleep, after returning tired from her Saturday ice skating practice.

"Thanks Mom. I don't wanna brag but I knew you would like it," the boy replied while sitting on the couch far right to get comfortable. The hair fell on his face and he, as usual, solved the problem by tying his hair in a bun. His mother shook her head, massaging the bridge of her nose; she sighed then.

"Eren, for God's sake, cut your hair. I no longer have enough saliva to tell you that you look like a hobo, son. And that 'stache ... Is a dead rat what you have there?" exclaimed the amber-eyed woman, stretching her hand to touch curiously her son's upper lip. Eren dodged her, frowning.

"Mom! Don't do that!"

"Don't tell me you didn't cut it off because Mikasa likes it, do you? I doubt she has such bad taste. I bet she told you more than once to shave and cut your hair, Eren."

"Well, you're wrong, old lady. And you can't protest. Grisha has had the same 'stache for years and you haven't complained."

"Your father looks good. Not you, my love. Even at twenty you still have a baby face and I don't understand why you want to look like Grisha now, after arguing so many times with him."

"I don't want to look like him. I just like my style. That's it, mom."

"Eren, what kind of style..." Carla raised her hands and made finger quotes when pronouncing the word 'style,' "do you think is that? Why do you want to make yourself look like those slackers who hear loud music and put dog chains on their necks?"

Annoyed, Eren facepalmed. Then he joined both hands in a pleading gesture.

"Aghhhh," he mumbled with a hoarse voice. "Mom, not now, please. I didn't come here to be scolded, ok?"

"Then cut your hair, my child."

Eren sighed and snorted.

"Maybe. I dunno. But don't mention it in front of Faye. She didn't stop parroting that I look like a hobo on our way home from her skating practice, and she only says that because she hears it from you."

Carla let out a laugh that infected Eren. However, the boy did his best to stay serious.

"You can't complain. She's the same as you when you were her age."

"Then it's your fault," the boy scoffed, with a giggle of satisfaction.

"No. It's your father's. He has spoiled her a lot."

Eren's expression darkened immediately. Carla did not know how much it bothered her son to hear her mention Grisha in each conversation, as if she were desperately trying to make both of them make it up.

Then he grunted.

"Are you sure about that, Mom? How is it that an absent father can spoil his daughter? He's never home, according to what I heard from Faye, and he wasn't home either when I was still living here."

The silence that settled over the place consumed them in the blink of an eye. More than once, Carla Jaeger had prayed to heaven for her son to abandon that insensitivity that dragged with his words; but her prayers hadn't worked. Eren's statement had cut off the remnants of hope, but he was right, and it would have been foolish to deny it.

"Your father overworks, Eren ..." the woman's voice was interrupted when her son shook his head vehemently.

"You can say that to Faye, Mom. But not to me. And I think it's better to leave this talk about Grisha at this point, because really, I don't want to argue with you tonight ... I don't need it."

The sound of scorching wood in the fireplace filled the room. Carla sighed and went a little closer to her son; she stroked his hand and ruffled his hair as when he was little. A hint of nostalgia scraped the inside of her chest before the memories of that noisy child who used to make weird faces to make his mother laugh, and now, turned into a man, looked towards the blazing fire in front of them with a melancholic face.

Eren had grown a lot.

"Eren."

"Hmm?"

"Will you tell your Mom what are you worried about?"

The right corner of the boy's mouth curved upwards in a subtle but genuine smile. Besides Carla, Mikasa and Armin were the only ones who could read him so perfectly well. Especially Mikasa, who seemed to be more distressed when it came to his mood.

"How do you know that?"

 Carla rolled her eyes.

"If you ever have children, you will understand."

Eren sighed, and his eyes met his mother's. It was pointless to keep trying to pretend that he didn't need help. In fact, he had never felt more desperate to receive advice from his mother than now.

"Mom..."

"Here I am, honey."

His breathing became heavy, while Carla continued with her eyes fixed on him.

"Did you know that Zeke was involved in a murder?"

It hurt. It hurt like hell. It hurt a lot because of all that it implied; because in one way or another, he was also included in that mistake.

Eren saw her mother closing her eyes, disappointed. She was hurt too.

"How do you know that?"

"I just know, Mom. I know. And it's unfair, because my own brother killed Mikasa's parents, and I can't look her in the eyes anymore without feeling guilty. This is ... like a sentence, you know. I feel like there's a curse I don't understand why I have to pay."

Eren snorted, defeated, putting his hands on his head. A second later, he felt his mother's warm arms close around him.

"I know. And I know you wonder why I didn't tell you before, but I'll tell you now," the woman said, stroking her son's back, "When I met Mikasa, I didn't know anything about her family, or where she came from. I hired her because her references were good and because I liked her from the first time I saw her ... I knew that her parents were the people that your brother ..." Carla cleared her throat, frowning bitterly. "I knew that her parents were _those people_ some time later, when she mentioned once that they had died horribly. Then I related the incident in which Zeke was involved a few years ago with her last name, and I realized that she was the daughter of the Ackermans ... of _those_ Ackermans."

Eren saw his mother pause while closing her hands in fists, tilting her head. He was sure that she wanted to chase away some thoughts.

"Why didn't you tell me?" The boy asked a while later in a low voice, almost in a whisper. Carla opened her eyes and looked at him with sweet eyes as she caressed his cheek.

"What's the point, my child? Why should I torture that child by letting her know that we are related to an accomplice in the murder of her parents, and why torture you with something like that?"

"Mom ..." Eren's voice was broken, shaky, frustrated. "If I had known it before, I would never have kissed her. I would never have dared to touch her, because she doesn't deserve this." As he spoke, the ocean-eyed boy covered his face with his hands in despair. "If I had known it before, Mom, I would have moved away from her, and now I wouldn't have to carry a guilt that's not mine. I wouldn't have to look her in the eye hiding that I'm the brother of her parents' killer while she trusts me. That's the damn problem."

Carla wondered when it was the last time she saw her son cry. And a long time had passed. A warm gust of maternal sadness seized her senses and made her embrace the vulnerable little boy next to her.

"Eren, look at me," she asked. And Eren did as he was told. "Do you know what would have happened to her the night you rescued her if you hadn't been there for her? Do you know what would have happened to Mikasa if you had left as you say? Most likely, she wouldn't be alive, or maybe she would, but not complete. Do you understand what I mean, my son? Destiny is a fickle and spoiled child, we can't deny that; but you must understand that everything happens for a reason. Just for a moment, imagine what Mikasa today would have been if you had made that decision. There are things that we simply can't avoid, and Mikasa is one of those things, Eren. Coincidence or not, it makes me happy that she is in your life now, and I doubt that you want her away from you."

Carla did not let her son go, and he did not want that to happen. A childlike yearning and the protection of his mother returned to him, starkly reminding him about the weight of adulthood and how much Mikasa was right in saying that the world was a cruel and unfair place.

Very unfair.

"Ar- ..." Eren cleared his throat before continuing. "Armin says I have to tell her what I know ... He has always been a good friend. You know, right?" Carla nodded, watching him wipe his own tears away.

"Of course," Carla replied, with a noticeable timbre of concern rooted in her throat as she frowned.

"He insists. He insists and insists, and he says it will be worse the longer that I delay this. But I guess it's easy for him to say it, isn't it, mom? It's fucking easy for anyone who's not in my place to say that I should tell her everything," Eren paused, snorted, dried the remaining tears again and continued his crying. "He told me how scared he was when he realized that he had fallen in love with Annie and that's why he never told her ..." At this point, the boy let out a bitter smile. "Ironic, isn't it? He asks me to do the same thing that he avoided to do long ago."

"Eren, he says it because he already lived it, and he knows it's not easy."

"Well, this is not easy either, Mom. It's not easy to have to say: 'Hey, how are you? We've been dating all this time, but there's something you should know, I'm the brother of the person who murdered your parents. Do you want to stay with me after that?'. Then Mikasa will say: 'Oh, sure, no probs'. It sounds easy, right? That's what everyone thinks. But not me. Because I know she won't say that, and I ..."

Eren breathed out, his lungs tired and his spirit exhausted, feeling the beating of his heart begin to wither. His mother, as loving and protective as ever, laid a hand on his son's cheek. He had sadly forgotten how comforting Carla's hands were, but it was a relief to have them there again.

"And you...?" she insisted, raising her eyebrows.

"I ... I can't lose her, mom ... She is ..." he paused for a long time. But his mother waited. "Having her is like bringing back all the parts of me that were scattered long ago, in places that I have long forgotten ..." Eren explained, showing the depths of his soul as he had never done before. The words were drawn on his tongue, carefully chiseled, trying to describe correctly what he felt, even knowing that words were a limited resource if it was about portraying Mikasa in his mind. But he did it, as best he could; and Carla watched him, listening to the way his son talked about that girl. "It's true, I saved her, but she saved me too. She came right out of the blue, mom, like a silent storm. Because she is quiet and calm, but she doesn't know that everything shakes inside me when I see her. She doesn't know that the world shakes when she breathes, or that the whole earth bows when I say her name ..."

He sighed, recovering the air that had escaped him. Then he continued.

"She's like a lost piece that I was looking for without knowing it ... As if I breathed a cleaner air when I'm with her, and when I'm with her I want to give the best of me ... And when she smiles at me, with that little smile of hers, I feel fucked, Ma; because I think she could do with me whatever the hell she wanted, and I could never say no."

When Eren finished speaking, with heavy breath and blood boiling in his veins, he realized that his mother was smiling at him too, her eyes full of tears and a gesture of sweet satisfaction that he had not seen for a long time.

Carla hid him again in her lap and kissed his forehead again and again.

"Eren," the woman said in an almost, almost choked whisper. He did not raise his head, but he listened carefully. "You don't know how proud I am to see how much you've grown. A while ago, I worried about seeing the way you behaved, and I was afraid that you would be like this forever ..."

"I know," he interrupted, letting himself be infected by his mother's tears. "I was a fucking asshole."

Carla frowned and hit him in the arm, causing him to rub there to ease the slight pain as he winced.

"Don't cuss, Eren! My Lord, you haven't changed that at all," the woman complained, letting strands of brown hair fall on both sides of her face. "What I want to say is that I've always been proud of you, my son, but I have no reason to worry, because you have matured a lot. And yes, I'm a little jealous that it wasn't me and my lectures that achieved that," Carla laughed at this point, and like her tears, her laughter also infected her son. "but I thank heaven that it was Mikasa who called to ask about the babysitter ad, and I thank her for her existence, because she's the one who brings out the best in you."

Male stubbornness or not, a part of Eren's brain thought that this was too cheesy a scene to be part of, but it didn't matter. He would not miss that moment for the world or the entire universe for all he cared. With Carla, Eren could be a child again, a careless one; a child who scraped his knee after playing soccer and could run to her while crying to be comforted for hours before receiving his favorite treat.

A lot of years may pass, but Carla would never stop loving him.

"That's why I'm not going to demand that you tell that girl, because I know it's not easy to do it. But neither can I say that hiding it from her is a good thing. I think you should do it, only when you think the moment is appropriate ..."

"When? How could I know which time is appropriate?"

She thought for a moment, as Eren freed himself from her embrace so he could look at her better.

"You could wait for the school to finish and take her to the beach house. Summer is coming. If you guys are going to talk about something so delicate, it's better for you two to be alone. Well, not so alone. Armin could be there with you, because I don't want to be a grandma so soon."

"Mom!" He exclaimed, turning into a hodgepodge of different shades of red on his face. Then he heard the woman laugh with him.

"What? Do you think I'm blind, Eren? It is logical for two young people to have- "

"Mom, it's not like that. Not with her. I couldn't..."

Every time Eren remembered that time at Armin's house, he felt a kick in his stomach, of guilt, contained desire, and the helplessness of not being able to make love to his girl.

His face changed drastically.

"So you and she haven't ...?" Carla asked, with some shyness. He shook his head in denial.

"Not while I haven't told her yet, mom."

"Oh ..." Carla's face also darkened. "I guess your time will come, sweetheart. I'm just asking you to be safe, ok? Use condoms, contraceptives, I don't want to be a grandmother yet ..."

"Holy shit, mom! I shouldn't even be talking about something like that with you."

"Eren, I'm not telling anything else but the tru-"

The hall door opened and a few steps cut Carla's words. They both looked at the figure slipping into the living room, with an executive briefcase in his right hand and a raincoat hanging from his left arm.

"Good evening, Carla ... Ah, Eren, you're here ..." Grisha said, his feet facing the inside of the room. Eren didn't know how to interpret his voice tone, but it was not as harsh as before, but ... gloomy. Exhausted.

"Hi, honey. Are you going to have dinner?" the woman asked, holding her son's hand when she saw his intentions to get up and leave. Her husband nodded.

"Yes. I'll go to change my clothes and go down in a moment," the doctor replied. He approached his wife and kissed her on the forehead, knowing that his son was avoiding his eyes. "And ... Eren …"

There was silence. The boy swallowed before he could say anything.

"Hmm?" was all he could mumble, due to the surprising call. It had been months since the last time his father spoke to him.

Silence again. Grisha moved, as if leaning forward in his son's direction; a subtle movement, barely noticeable, like a fearful sigh.

But he did nothing else.

"You should shave. Your mother doesn't like that look of yours at all."

Without further ado, Dr. Jaeger started his way upstairs, disappearing from his family's sight. Baffled and with a lump in his throat, Eren blinked several times before meeting his mother's hopeful smile.

"Although you don't believe it, he cares about you."

Eren didn't respond to that statement. He turned his eyes away from his mother and, despite the hands that held him, stood up.

"I'm leaving."

"Why? I thought you would spend the night with us ..."

Eren shook his head. But his mother's downcast expression filled him with sadness.

"I thought he wouldn't come today. And I remembered that I should study."

Carla sighed, but in the middle of her disappointment she followed him to the front door.

"All right. I hope you come more often, Eren. Don't forget I'm here."

"I won't, Mom," Before opening the door, the boy turned to her, wrapped her in his arms and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Ma."

"And I love you too, baby. You are my Sunshine," the woman replied, with that same old and warm smile and those bright amber eyes that reminded Eren to summer mornings when the sun's rays hit him in the face, after she woke him up when opening the window to call him for breakfast. The embrace was prolonged and uninterrupted and Carla sensed that, surely, Eren didn't want to leave, but he had already made a decision and it would be very hard and pointless to try to change his mind.

"See you later," he said, moving away from her with the keys of his BMW in his hand. Already inside the car, Eren thought about the conversation with Carla and the arrival of his father. In fact, he thought of many things; about how his life had changed, about Mikasa and his brother. He wondered if he should talk to Zeke once and for all, and listen to his version of events instead of holding a grudge against him for having destroyed his life and pulling out hurried conclusions.

Surely Armin would approve his idea.

Before crossing the metal gates of his parents' house, Eren dialed his girlfriend's number. She didn't take long to answer.

_"Eren?"_

As always, Mikasa's voice fought away his worries. It was absurdly magical and chilling.

"Mikasa, I don't know if you've been avoiding me this last week, but- "

 _"No,"_ She gasped from the other side of the phone. _"It's not like that,"_ she sighed, _"I've had thousands of assignments, and school is sucking the life out of me. I swear. I couldn't ... The other day at Armin's was embarrassing, but I would never avoid you, Eren."_

Mikasa's nerves would have vanished if she had seen him smile from the other side.

"It's okay. You know that I trust you. Can I come over to your place in a few minutes? Or are you still busy?"

_"No. I'm done with the last book I had to read, so I'm free. Sasha's here, but I think she's not a big deal."_

"Perfect. I'll be there in a few minutes."

_"All right. I'll wait for you."_

"Mikasa..."

_"Yes?"_

A pause. Eren didn't know that she wanted to see him eagerly.

"I miss you," he announced without hesitation. And in his thoughts, he could see her smile. He knew it. The way her voice sounded after that confession told him that she had smiled. And a smile from Mikasa was like getting a blossoming flower as his reward.

_"I miss you too."_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Erwin Smith knew that he could not leave Levi alone at times like this. The Shiganshina Police commander traveled to Trost once more, in order to solve a new mystery: why did Kenny disappear, and why did John Leonhardt seem to have vanished from the face of the earth, just before his capture? Undoubtedly, he had received notice from someone, and this seemed to be the most incomplete puzzle they had ever faced. Zeke Jaeger was summoned to the Station, for the umpteenth time, where Captain Ackerman was waiting for him with a sour face and his usual cup of coffee in his hand. When Zeke entered the captain's office, Erwin offered him a seat, while Levi had his back to him and looked at the window with a frown.

"You already know it, don't you, Jaeger?" Levi was the first to speak. Erwin stood with his arms crossed against his chest without taking his eyes off the silver-bearded man with round glasses.

"Of course I know it. It came out in the newspaper," Zeke replied, smoking a cigarette nonchalantly. Still frowning, Levi spoke again.

"Watch your tone with me. You're not talking to any damn civilian, but to Captain Ackerman, understood? And get rid of the damn cigarette; smoking here is not allowed."

Zeke snorted in annoyance and blew out the cigar.

"Well, Captain. If you could tell me the reason you made me leave my work to come here, I would be very grateful," he said wryly, "I don't think it was just to ask me about Leonhardt's escape. That would be too ambiguous coming from you."

"You're right, Zeke," Erwin intervened after a long time in silence. "We didn't call you for that."

"All right, Commander. Enlighten me and tell me why I'm here, because I don't have much time to spare."

"We want to intercept your phones," Erwin spoke again. "Your bar's, your house's, your mobile and your girlfriend's. This way we will be aware of your connection with the people we are chasing. We know they will contact you soon so you won't open your mouth. There is a reason why Leonhardt fled and you received that anonymous call: the rest of the people who participated in the murder of Samuel and Tamara Ackerman don't want to be discovered because there's something much bigger in all this. Only then can we get to the bottom of this case."

Zeke opened his eyes widely, as if his eyeballs were about to pierce the glass of his glasses.

"Intercept ... shit, they might find out ... I'm also aware that these people, whoever they are, will come for me and my family. How can I be sure that this is the best option?"

"Because it's the most viable and there is no other left. Unless you can read their damn minds, Jaeger, and tell us once and for all who the fuck ordered you to do all this seven fucking years ago," Levi replied with bitterness, turning to look at him. "Because if that's the case, let me know once and for all and let's end this shit."

The tension could be kneaded with their fingers inside that office. Erwin shook his head from where he was, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"If I knew, I would have betrayed those bastards and saved myself from spending three damn years in prison, Levi. Don't you think it's obvious that I don't know? I didn't even know about Leonhardt's full identity, much less about the one who planned all that."

"Well well. No need to argue," Commander Smith announced, waving his hands to make them keep calm. "Zeke, we know you said everything in the trial and you agreed to cooperate in this, that's why we decided to intercept your electronic devices. Don't forget that you're in danger. The faster we do this, the better things will turn out."

Zeke looked thoughtful. His sunken eyes let Levi know he was worried.

But why? He had the protection of the police in case something unexpected happened.

Maybe it was that Ackerman instinct that didn't leave him alone, but something told the Captain that Zeke Jaeger was not telling him everything he knew. However, they were only mere speculations until he could prove otherwise.

A rookie, red-haired cop named Galliard interrupted the meeting to leave a box full of papers on his superior's desk. Then he left quietly, as always, putting together the thread of a much needed tension once again.

"Well ... If there's no other way than this one ..." Zeke sighed, pulling his silver beard out. "I just hope you can protect me and my wife in case things get worse."

"Jaeger, there's a fucking cop hanging around where you live every day. Isn't that enough?"

"Levi," Erwin scolded him, seeing his friend pissed. Then he turned to Zeke. "We'll go tomorrow with the technician to make the necessary connections. But don't hesitate to let us know if you get one of those calls again."

"It's okay. Can I leave now?" asked the doctor's son, with an obvious tinge of boredom in his voice. Erwin and Levi nodded. "I'll wait for you tomorrow, gentlemen." he said, standing up.

"Jaeger," Levi called before seeing him leave. Zeke turned around to look at him. "Tell your brother to leave my sister alone."

"What?"

The expression on Zeke's face told the captain that he didn't really know what he was talking about. However, Levi didn't give a shit about it.

"Tell him that I know his intentions and I want him to stay away from her."

There was silence. Dr. Jaeger's eldest son deciphered Levi's speech, and then remembered the girl who, years ago, had seen her parents murdered, before he asked John Leonhardt not to kill her because she was just a kid.

Even though Leonhardt didn't want to leave witnesses as he was ordered, Zeke remembered at that moment that he had a younger brother, one of the same age as the little girl John had been about to kill as well, and a little sister who had just been born.

And the years had passed, and judging by the captain's words, those two children had grown and happened to meet, much to their misfortune. He remembered Mikasa and the day he met her as Faye's babysitter, startled by hearing her last name and seeing the girl's resemblance to the grumpy policeman. Everything started having a meaning now.

"I don't know what you mean," he lied, facing the door. "But I'll let him know."

Without saying anything else, Zeke left the captain's office. Levi drank his cup of coffee in a single gulp that burned his throat.

"Levi, if you don't control yourself, you will have to leave this case for a while."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Erwin?" Levi was still irritated, and his steel-colored eyes showed flashes of frustration and anger that filled each one of his words.

"You're too emotionally involved in this and it's getting to you. Go home, eat something and sleep with your wife, or you'll go crazy."

Levi hit the desk bitterly.

"I'm already out of my mind, Erwin. The damn case is a maze; I always miss the exit just when I think I've found it."

"Sometimes the exit is closer than you think."

Levi sighed. He and Mikasa shared the same introspective expression that showed on both their faces as they lost themselves in deep thought; he and she both closed their eyes, tilting their heads slightly forward after crossing their arms against their chests and remaining silent. They had learned it from their father.

Anyone would have believed that they were sleeping on their feet, like chickens.

"I hope so, Erwin. I hope so."

And as Levi asked his assistant for another cup of coffee, Zeke dialed his brother's phone as he drove the way home.

 _"What do ya want?"_ Eren asked sharply from the other side of the line. Zeke frowned as he heard him speak. It was clear that his younger brother had been upset with him for weeks, however, he did not understand the reason.

"Tell me what you're up to with Captain Ackerman's sister, Eren."

There was a pause. Probably Eren was assimilating the question.

_"That's none of your fucking business."_

"Well, it is. For some reason that midget wants you away from her and he asked me to warn you. So whatever you're doing, leave it now. You won't make me get into trouble because of you."

Another pause. Eren must be very angry; Zeke knew it from the way he breathed now.

_"Fuck you, Zeke."_

"Eren-"

 _Beeeeeeeeeeeep._ The call ended before Zeke could say his full name. Then he shook his head and continued on his way home, wondering if it was worth talking to Eren about it when he had calmed down.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Studying with her best friend at the Jaeger's, Sasha Braus did what she liked best: eating. Due to an upcoming final exam, Mikasa asked Carla for permission to study there with Sasha while taking care of Faye. And Carla, who could never say no to her prospective daughter-in-law, left them a couple of trays full of biscuits that the brown-haired girl would have eaten up in a second if Mikasa hadn't been there to restrain her.

"Hey, we need to add an interval here, but I can't think which one," the girl announced loudly, biting the tip of her digital pen before she could drag an eighth note to the stave on her tablet. Mikasa looked over the desk where they worked inside Faye's studio and rolled her eyes before the sight: even if she tried to keep order, Sasha and Faye would always scatter the sheets and books everywhere and that made her crazy, almost as much as Levi.

"A perfect fifth would be fine. We can add a rubato to the flutes and a pizzicato for the second violins. Play it and let's see how it sounds," replied the raven-haired girl, without looking away from the book in front of her eyes. Faye seemed lost in her assignments too, so absorbed that she hadn't uttered a word since she returned from school. Summer was close. The spring warm sunshine began to increase the temperature as the days went by, and the air grew warmer around it.

"Dat'f fine," her friend replied, biting a piece of cookie. Her cheeks were swollen because of the snacks she kept munching.

"Sasha, don't talk with your mouth full. God! Why do you have to do that? You know how much I hate that sound."

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, Levi 2," Sasha said with a giggle. Then she swallowed loudly, making Mikasa wrinkle her face in annoyance. A choked sigh from Faye interrupted the semi-academic talk and made her nanny turn her head towards her in bewilderment.

"Faye?"

The girl didn't say a word and her little face was hidden behind a notebook. Mikasa did not wait for an answer, so she pulled the book from her hands to find a pair of huge eyes flooded with tears. That vision was overwhelming for the babysitter, because it was the first time she saw the little girl cry in front of her like that. Faye's cheeks lit up like embers trying to hide her sobs, but Mikasa would not stop until she knew what was wrong.

"Hey, why are you crying? Aren't you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Unexpectedly, Faye threw her arms around the girl's neck, as if she were hiding in her lap. Mikasa hugged her, looking at Sasha with eyes full of concern. Her friend stopped eating and paid attention to the girl. Seeing a girl as happy as Faye Jaeger cry was simply heartbreaking.

"Gabi ... She told me ugly things at school," Faye mumbled against her nanny's neck. A sigh from Mikasa followed the little girl's sighs, who seemed not to want to come out of hiding. Somehow, Mikasa didn't miss that confession. The Braun girl's relationship with Faye always reminded her of one particular aspect about her past.

"Hmm ... What did she say? Do you wanna tell me?"

Slowly, Faye straightened to look into her eyes. With a napkin, Mikasa wiped the tears and snot from the girl while watching her hiccup with each sob.

"She ..." she snorted. Her shoulders shuddered as she breathed. "She told me that I was stupid and Dad is never home because he doesn't love me."

"What? Why did she say that?"

"B-Because ... I dunno..." another choked sigh. The babysitter continued to wipe her face while Sasha watched them closely.

"What happened before that? Do you think she was mad at something?"

Faye shrugged and rubbed her eyes as she tried to summarize the day's events, trying hard not to be interrupted by the annoying crying that wouldn't let her speak.

"She pushed Falco to the ground and he hit his head. I told her not to do it and I stayed with him. I took him to the nursery and told the teacher ... Before getting on the bus, Falco thanked me and kissed me on the cheek. She yelled at him and then at me ..." another sob, "She said that I always had the best and that now I wanted to make Falco fall in love with me ... That's a lie. I don't want that. She said that I was a spoiled child and that I had everything she wanted but that I wasn't going to have Falco ... I don't understand ... Why did she say those things? She's my friend..."

"Oh ..." Sasha exclaimed with a frown. "That sounds familiar ..."

Calmly, Mikasa waited for the child to stop sobbing. When Faye calmed down, she wiped away her tears completely and sat her on the edge of the desk, facing her, taking her hands. A few years ago her mother had done the same with her, after something very similar happened to her.

"Well ... If she did that, I think you should leave her alone for a while, Faye. Maybe so she can understand that she was wrong and that Falco just wanted to thank you ..." Mikasa pursed her lips, thoughtfully, before continuing to speak. "Or maybe you want to talk to her and ask her why she said that."

Still sobbing, Faye shook her head.

"No. She's so mad at me and Falco, and she made us feel sad."

"Hmm. I get it," her nanny said, nodding. "I think ... she's just... jealous. That's all."

"Jealous? Why? I did nothing wrong..." Faye rubbed her eyes. She yawned at the end of the sentence, and when Mikasa looked at her wristwatch, she knew it was time for the girl to take her afternoon daily nap.

"Because maybe she likes Falco and thinks he's spending more time with you than with her. But it will pass. Now, why don't you go to sleep? When you wake up you'll feel better, and then we can plan what to do about it, okay?"

The girl nodded in response and climbed down from the table, covering her eyes from the shining that filled the room. Mikasa lost sight of the girl as she entered her bedroom; her dark-gray eyes went back to her book, unaware that Sasha had been staring at her for a few seconds.

"What?" she asked, catching her best friend's eyes over her.

"Mikasa, do you remember the time when the same thing happened to you with Annie?"

Mikasa sighed. And her deep breathe was confirmation enough for Sasha.

"What about that?"

"Well ... I think it's kinda funny that something like that has happened to Faye. Just like you when we were kids."

"It's not the same, Sasha. Annie and I were not friends. But Gabi is supposed to be Faye's friend," Mikasa kept the frown, and although she tried to concentrate on the lines of the book in her hands, that didn't seem possible.

"Maybe it was because ... We never gave her the chance."

"What are you talking about?"

Sasha straightened up in her seat and put the tablet aside, as did with the food tray. She was about to start a serious chat, her friend knew; because only in that way could Sasha Braus remove from her sight and reach what she loved most.

"I don't know, Mika ... Sometimes ..." the brown-haired girl cleared her throat. "When I remember what happened at school, I think maybe things weren't as we imagined ... It's the same thing I see in that girl, Gabi, the gorilla's cousin. She told Faye almost exactly what Annie told you: that her life is perfect."

"I beg to differ, Sasha: Faye's life is far from perfect. That girl thinks her dad doesn't love her and Gabi only made it worse. Leonhardt didn't know me and I think she was very wrong."

"Annie was always lonely, and we never asked why ... But that day she simply exploded, as if you had caused her some harm, and we never knew why she did that."

The dark gray of Mikasa's eyes thickened as they did whenever she lost herself in her thoughts, stringing them together.

"I guess she was just ..." she cleared her throat too. She didn't really want to say the word and make her words sound smug. "Ehm ... Jealous, somehow. Or at least ... that was the impression I always had."

"Maybe. But now that I think about it, what if we judged her wrong? Excuse me, Mika, you know I love you, but ... Annie was kinda right ..."

Sasha narrowed her eyes in a guilty expression, shrugging her shoulders and arms in anticipation of a glare from her best friend.

But what she got instead was a heavy sigh from her, as she watched her resting her chin in the palm of her hand with regret.

"Right about what?" Mikasa gasped, somewhat disappointed to hear that statement.

"Well ... your life was perfect. You had everything until ..."

Sasha was silent and the atmosphere seemed to darken. There were certain things that Mikasa did not like to mention, but to her misfortune, they were unavoidable.

"I don't know, Sasha. My life was not perfect. Just... normal."

"But what if hers wasn't?" Sasha interrupted, stretching a little towards her. "Do you remember that there were rumors in the school that her mother was sick and that her father was an alcoholic? What if her life was not as normal as ours, and that's why she was so lonely?"

Mikasa closed her eyes, thoughtful. It was a bit difficult for her to assimilate what Sasha was saying, but despite her pride, she could not deny that her theory made sense.

"Maybe that's what happened to Gabi ..."

"Of course! But Faye's just a kid. How could she know? I don't blame you. We were also kids, we knew nothing, and all we did was ... ignore her. All of us did it. But now we are adults and we think differently. We can't fix what happened with Annie, but maybe you can make things between Gabi and Faye different ..."

The raven-haired girl sighed again. A thread of regret sewed her guts as she remembered her school days and the things that had happened with Annie Leonhardt. Yes, maybe she had misjudged her; maybe she was so absorbed in her own happy world that she never cared to lend a hand to that sullen child who used to sit in a corner of the classroom in complete silence, while she laughed and talked on the other side, as if they lived in different worlds. Perhaps Mikasa had already seen the cruelty of the world when she heard the rumors about Annie's family life, but she had unwittingly decided to turn a blind eye so as not to stain the veil of comfort offered by a carefree childhood. Then life gave her a hard and unfair lesson, forcing her to open her eyes to the things she never wanted to see.

How does one mend it? Wasn't it too late now?

Her gray eyes slid to the spot where Faye rested, already asleep, and thought that maybe she could do something for Gabi.

After all, they were just that: kids. What could a child know about cruelty if she didn't live it in her own flesh? What could a ten-year-old Mikasa and an eight-year-old Faye know about compassion if they never had to show it? What could an eleven-year-old Annie and eight-year-old Gabi know about generosity if no one held out their hands to them?

Sasha made her realize that she was more selfish than she had ever imagined. Yes. It was quite rough to say it like that, it was even rude and offensive to think so about herself.

But it was the truth.

Mikasa wished to fix all of that in some way, if she ever could. Everything that happened to Faye and everything that had happened to her, everything, everything, absolutely everything was part of growing up. Unfair or fair, pleasant or unpleasant. Because we all have to do it sometime, right? Cross the crude metamorphosis just like the future butterfly in its chrysalis. Even with open wounds, perhaps maturing is the best way to heal them all.

 _Crack-crack,_ was the noise caused by the invisible shield around her again, while it finished breaking. The sound was sometimes annoying and squeaky. However, she was beginning to get used to it.

"I will talk to her," she announced to her friend, before going back to focus on her books and scores. The finals were going to be a bit more complicated than they expected.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

By the way that fine-bearded man with crow's feet and small eyes held the shoulders of the blonde girl in front of him as they walked, anyone could have seen they were father and daughter. However, the reality was far from that strange and uncomfortable parental scene. Annie Leonhardt walked tense, with the warning of her father's friend on her shoulders and a task to be done that she didn't want to fulfill at all.

"Well, young lady. I hope you haven't forgotten the plan: you arrive, you deliver our message and you come back to me safe and sound. I, as the good father that I am, will return you safe and sound home, is that okay?"

Everything that came out of Kenny Ackerman's mouth was false, and those words were no exception. With a distasteful and crooked smile, old Ackerman pressed his hands on the girl, making her wince; but Annie endured it, waiting for the right moment to be able to get away.

"You don't have to pretend. I know you'll leave me on my own as soon as I have this done."

"Ah. You are a smart girl," the old man scoffed. "But don't worry, I'll leave you some cash so you can go back home," Kenny replied, with that sarcastic tone his niece hated so much. His ghoulish and fake smile widened when a woman crossed in front of them to cross to the other side of the street. The oldest of the Ackermans knew exactly how, when and where to move in the wide streets north of Trost, so passersby wouldn't be a problem for him.

"I thought you were going to adopt me," Annie sighed with a feigned grief and a tinge of weariness in her voice. Kenny let out a screech of laughter.

"How touching. But there's no possible way to do something like that, young lady."

"Oh ... It's a shame, daddy."

The moment Annie turned to throw a kick into Kenny's face was something the old man could not foresee at all. Thanks to her height, John Leonhardt's daughter was quite nimble, which allowed her to break free from the old man's claws and hit him against the nearest wall, earning her escape. The sudden attack had been the ace up her sleeve, so when Kenny could react, the girl was several inches away from him. But he wouldn't let her go so easily …

.

_Run, Annie. Run._

She had seen those streets before. She knew them all. A year ago, when things were a little simpler, Annie used to walk around with those who had once been her friends: Reiner, Bertholdt, Eren, and Armin.

_Armin._

Annie Leonhardt never wanted so fervently to find him before as she wanted it now. And she ran. She ran away as much as she could without stopping to take a breath or knowing where she was going. The late spring breeze hit her face, her ruffled, blond hair getting into her mouth in her desperate marathon. That day, she decided to abandon everything, including her father; to flee the fucking nest far away, leaving all her shadows, and to start anew in another place, where her father's crime did not persecute her unfairly. _Run_ , she told herself. _Run away from here and forget about everything_. That was her antidote.

Annie bumped into a body. Into one she would not have imagined in her short twenty one years.

The paper bags the dark-haired girl had in her arms fell to the ground after the crash, spreading all their contents along the sidewalk.

"Ackerman!"

"Leonhardt ..."

It was then when she realized she had run too much, and maybe, just maybe, the danger passed.

Somewhat bewildered, Mikasa crouched down to pick up her stuff. Annie's pale face had been etched in her mind, as she recalled over and over again her conversation with Sasha a few days ago.

"I'm sorry ..." the blonde girl said, surprised at herself when she knelt to help her to pick up what had fallen, in an unexpected action."

"It's okay," Mikasa said calmly. It was strange, but not uncomfortable, to exchange words with the other girl without the same hostility of long ago.

"I think ... that you should drink something."

"Huh?" Annie asked, raising her face to her, before putting the last supplies into the bag.

"You look kinda... pale."

"Ah. I guess it's because I was running."

Both of them stood up at the same time, and the bags went back to Mikasa's arms. A somewhat embarrassing silence settled over them like a spoiled child, but she wasn't going to let it stay.

Agh, it was hard; it was quite hard. But she had to do it.

"Hey, Annie ..." she called her. Annie turned her head towards her. "Do you mind if I take a few minutes from you?"

"Hmm ... I guess it's ok," she answered by inertia, looking around with nervousness and flickering pupils and hoping she had completely disappeared from Kenny's sight.

"There is a place nearby where we could ..." Mikasa cleared her throat, "Where we could sit. My treat."

Annie nodded. As silent as they both were, silence accompanied the path they took to the nearest café. They were not friends and it was not their intention to become such a thing, but Mikasa wanted to repair the damage, or at least try to mend it.

Deep down, deep down, Annie also wanted the same thing. Because in her maturity, she understood that some chapters had to be closed before starting anew.

"Ackerman, I ..."

 

In the blink of an eye, Annie and her voice had vanished at the corner of an alley they had passed by. Mikasa's eyes widened, trying to decipher what had happened to her. Then she heard a struggle from the other side of the wall that sharpened her senses and made her look for the source of the sound; Kenny's unmistakable hat was the first thing her eyes saw as she turned the corner into the dead end, discovering Annie Leonhardt's small, petite figure inside her uncle's clutch.

"Ah! My dear niece, so you're here too," the old man mocked with a low, but hideous guffaw. "Wanna join the party with your little friend? You know your uncle can hold both of you."

"Let her go," It was the first thing that came out from Mikasa's mouth, with a hoarse and threatening voice. The bags had fallen to the ground and Kenny cackled. For her father's older brother, it was all a damn morbid joke, and she hated it.

"Do yourself a favor, brat; get out of here and don't get into what's none of your business, is that clear? Save me the effort of having to get rid of you and then having to do it with the midget when he comes to me for revenge ..."

At times, Kenny forgot that Mikasa was also an Ackerman, and the fact that the old urban legend that for generations marked their surname about having skills a little more developed than those of other human beings could perhaps be true.

Well, maybe it was just a legend, but it was undeniable that the girl was well-versed in self-defense. Her wretched uncle had forgotten that, too, and that's why he could not foresee the blow that made him snap Annie against the wall before she fell to the ground. A blond head bounced off the dumpster at the end of the alley, while Kenny Ackerman began a dirty hand-to-hand fight with his brother's daughter. Mikasa was fast as a cat and had an incredible right, but she was young and inexperienced, while her uncle dominated the art of street fighting with great pride and renown, in addition to being tall and tricky.

"Hah! You move like Levi," old Ackerman scoffed, holding his niece by the wrists to immobilize her. "Don't strain yourself, you brat. We could do this all day and I would guess every one of your moves ..."

"Guess this, asshole!" She exclaimed, kicking him in the balls and leaving him breathless. It seemed too simple, yes; maybe she could have done it from the beginning if she had had the chance. But fighting with her uncle wasn't easy, and he wasn't willing to let her go.

In fact, he didn't. Mikasa tried to flee, believing that the pain in his thighs would soften his grip and she could escape with a half-unconscious Annie, but it wasn't that easy. Kenny took a breath to avoid the burning pain and regain strength; his fingers stretched to the girl's hair and pulled her strands painfully. The veins bulged in the old man's hands, threatening, and his fists closed angrily on her black hair until the free arm closed around Mikasa's neck. The scene was agonizing, violent and even sadistic. Kenny smiled wickedly, mercilessly enjoying the scarlet tinge on his niece's face when the air escaped her lungs.

"You look quite a lot like your Mom, you brat," he whispered in her ear, with the girl's nails digging into the skin of his arm in a failed attempt to release herself. "It's a pity that she died, because always, I always wanted to fuck her, but she was a proud bitch. She could pretend she was a good wife to my brother, but I knew she was a slut in the inside from the first moment I saw her."

Kenny Ackerman had two shortcomings when it came to hunting his enemies.

The first one: he talked too much.

The second one: he underestimated his opponents. He could be sneaky, but hubris was his own doom. And Mikasa, who could sometimes control her emotions, took advantage of her uncle's bluster and badly-timed eloquence to free herself, applying one of the maneuvers she learned from Levi, despite the rage bubbling in her veins and the oxygen she lacked. And although it seemed that her freedom would give way to another fierce struggle, it wasn't like that, because she knew exactly how to corral him and immobilize him, despite her weight and size. Now, between the wall and his niece, Kenny fell to the ground face down, while she used her strength and skills to keep him motionless. Annie woke up at that moment, stroking the point where her head suffered the impact. Everything was blurry for her and she still managed to get up and discover the scene before her eyes.

"Annie, take my phone and call my brother," Mikasa's voice was loud and harsh, and Annie's muscles didn't take long to move. In the meantime, the dark-haired girl released the ribbon that adorned her shirt and tied her uncle's hands as firmly as she could. That would keep him there until Levi arrived. Kenny continued to laugh despite his disadvantage, and how his niece pressed his head against the pavement, cutting off any possibility of movement. It was ironic that someone shorter than him and with less experience would have blocked him, but in his sixties, old Ackerman was not the same as before.

Maybe he laughed at the satirical scene he was going through, or about something else. He only knew that he would go to jail as soon as his nephew arrived, but he was relieved that no matter what, he would be out in short time. He had reasons, allies, and unproven crimes. Levi could not do anything against it. Nothing, until time proved otherwise.

And it would.

Everything happened in the blink of an eye. The moment the police patrol arrived at the scene; when Officer Berner closed the handcuffs on Kenny's wrist and had him enter the vehicle. Concerned, Levi checked his younger sister until he was sure she was okay; then he stated that Annie should go to the station for interrogation, and Mikasa went with them, oblivious to the real reason why Annie would be subjected to endless questions for half an hour. Because her brother did not want to overwhelm her with the weight of an unresolved murder. It was what he said to himself. Levi wouldn't say a thing until other matters were settled, and Annie would not mention a single word about her father's crimes either. Mikasa waited outside and called her best friend, while the blonde girl proved her innocence by saying that she did not know her father whereabouts.

Upon leaving, Mikasa was waiting for her in the station room.

"Eh ... I hope my brother was kind," the raven-haired girl said, standing up. Annie nodded.

"He was. Don't worry."

"All right. I'm leaving. Take care, Leonhardt," Mikasa said, as if she had forgotten the invitation prior to Kenny's appearance. Impulsively, Annie stopped her.

"Ackerman ..."

Mikasa turned towards her, and the dark gray of her eyes did not miss the melancholy in these blue sapphire of hers that had seemed cold for a long time before. It was weird, even funny, but both of them seemed to have been friends for a lifetime for a few moments.

After all, they were not so different from each other.

"Thanks for everything," Annie continued, with the weight of her words crowding on her tongue. Mikasa nodded and walked towards her at a prudent distance, afraid to cross the invisible line that both had marked.

It was now or never.

"Annie ... If I ever ..." it was hard. So hard. Mikasa sighed, "If I ever hurt you when we were kids, I'm sorry. I didn't know it."

Silence. Annie was assimilating the unexpected confession. The painful memories of the childhood she had left behind stung her in the head, but she kept them at bay.

"It's okay, Mikasa. We're adults now."

"I know. But I wanted to let you know that it wasn't my intention. Children can be quite... stupid."

Annie smiled. Mikasa too. So subtly, but anyone would have noticed the moment when their lips widened slightly.

"We were."

"A lot."

This time, the blonde girl reached for her.

"Truce?"

Mikasa shook her hand firmly. Some time ago, both had shared the same height. Now Annie had to look slightly upwards to meet these dark silver eyes.

"Truce," the Captain's sister said, shortly before a foreign but not unwelcomed voice called the name of one of them.

"Annie?"

Annie let go of the girl's hand in front of her and looked at the source of the sound, her heart buzzing in a frenzy of unsuspected calmness.

"Armin?"

 _Armin, Armin, Armin._ Armin had always been there; He never left. And he hugged her, wrapped her against his chest so warmly that she wanted to cry and stay there forever.

But something told her, deep down, that he was not the same as before. He had changed, and although he loved her, it was not the same kind of love that used to be the first time he kissed her near to the breakwater. She didn't know how much it could hurt until she saw him again and his lips pressed against her pale forehead.

Everything had changed, and despite that, Annie Leonhardt could not have felt luckier.

"Ackerman," said a fourth voice that made Mikasa's eyes slide to the entrance of the station. Eren was waiting for her out there next to Armin's car, hoping the grumpy Captain wouldn't notice his presence. Annie and Armin stayed inside, talking quietly about what had to be said. Eren stretched his hand to his girlfriend's and wrapped his over hers. He was calm. That meant Armin hadn't told him anything about Kenny.

And so it was better.

"I didn't know you would come here..."

"I was with Armin when you called him. Are you ok?" he asked, seeing her nod. His fingers brushed her cheek. "And how's Annie?"

"Better, now that Armin is with her."

Eren's lips touched his girl's forehead as she wrapped his arms around her.

"I thought you two were ... enemies," He commented, a little embarrassed. Mikasa looked him in the eyes and gave him one of her half smiles.

"It's a long ass story."

"I have all summer to hear it. How about we go to the beach house this weekend? You, Armin and I, and so you can tell me about what happened between you two."

"Hmm. Sounds like a plan."

"It is, then," he replied with one of his lopsided smiles. One of those that made her butterflies flutter in her stomach. "What do you say?"

"I think it's nice."

Eren kissed his girlfriend's hand and then her lips. But Mikasa pulled away. This was Levi's territory, and she was not sure she wanted to face him if he caught them.

Summer was coming, and that would be one they would never forget.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were wondering how Mikasa would develop as a character, here you go. The scene of the conversation with Sasha was particularly complicated for me, as I didn't know how to develop it, but I must thank a lot to Adriana and Sarah, who are always there to take my foot off the mud when I need it. You can't imagine how much they helped me to conclude that scene, and write about Mikasa's development and self-consciousness as well as Sasha's maturity. Eren has also grown a lot since the first chapter, but I wanted to dedicate to him the beginning of this one to make clear how his transition was from the first time we saw him until now. There are chapters that are especially difficult to write, and this was one of them, although it may not seem so.
> 
> Again, forgive my delay. Time is a serious thing and sometimes it's not enough to write; There are many things to come and I want to update all of them and reach the end already, but I know that it is not possible without a fair and coherent resolution. I would like you to pay particular attention to the characters that seem absent, as well as the shorter scenes. I think nothing can go unnoticed around here.
> 
> Zeke, Zeke, Zeke. Levi, Levi, Levi. xD
> 
> I hope you also liked Annie's appearance, who played a key role in Mikasa's self-introspection, due to the past that they both shared. It won't be her last appearance in this story, but it can't be constant, because as you can see, Armin no longer feels the same for her, and everything is aimed at the discovery of the murderers and the truth behind the murder. My poor Eren will get a very nasty surprise. But don't worry, chapter 26 will be wonderful for him and Mikasa (͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ °). I know that everyone is waiting for him.
> 
> Now I say goodbye with my ass long and boring author's note, looking forward to your nice comments. See you next chapter. Hasta la vista!


	26. Turning pages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Jim for nicely betaing this chapter again. He has helped me a lot.  
> Enjoy... ;)

 

Levi knew it.

 

He knew exactly the protocol to follow in his career as a captain. He knew he could not go blow to blow with a prisoner, but his body trembled with rage just at the thought of Kenny mocking him in his cell, knowing that his nephew could not touch a hair. The Old Ackerman fled after his complicity in the crime of smuggling had been proven, offered Mikasa as carnival meat to his disgusting henchmen, and as if that were not enough, insulted the captain's mother, and tried to kill his sister. Levi had plenty of reasons to want to strangle his beast of an uncle, and it was frustrating to have to hold back. Especially for someone like him, who liked to take the bull by the horns and clear accounts.

However, he had to let it be and leave justice in the hands of law.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Mikasa was somewhat pissed off. With her back to the wall and arms crossed against her chest, she watched Sasha packing for her trip to Shiganshina. That Thursday afternoon, the brown-haired girl seemed to be busy, running from one side to another right across the whole the room.

 

"I told you. I told you not to pack your suitcases at the last minute, but you never listen."

Sasha said nothing. She brushed her teeth with one hand, while with the other she put a pair of shoes in one of the suitcases.

"What time did Connie say he was coming?" she asked, after having rinsed her mouth. Her friend looked at her pulse watch.

"Anytime now."

"Agh."

Mikasa watched the frantic movements of that figure nonchalantly. Sasha shrieked in despair, tidying her things up, as much as she could, inside the suitcase.

"You should help me," she complained to the dark-haired girl with a demanding tone. Mikasa shook her head.

"Nah-ah. No way. Next time you will listen to me and you will do things on time."

Sasha did not reply this time either. Her busy pace was heard throughout the room and a confusing mess was apparent on both beds, but soon everything would return to normal. University of Trost dorms began to be vacated; the pupils returned to their hometowns or to their parents' houses, and only silence would permeate the halls as the young ones departed. That would be Mikasa's last year in there, because now her older brother lived in Trost and she could stay with him, giving way to a new student. Upon her return, Sasha would also stay with the Ackermans, but now she was more determined to finish packing and leave on time, tidying everything up against the clock.

"I'll write to Connie. I have to know if he's coming too," Sasha announced, her phone in her hand. The response was immediate.

_C: What? There r still 2 hours left for your flight, Sash. Y the rush?_

"What's wrong?" Mikasa asked when she saw her frowning. Confused, Sasha looked at the clock on her cell phone and then at the cuckoo clock in their room.

"O-Oi, Mika ... Why's that clock two hours ahead?" the girl stammered. Her finger pointed towards the round-bellied cat with numbers inside that marked 5 p.m.

Mikasa did not answer, but a faint smirk was drawn in the right corner of her mouth. Sasha understood then, shocked.

At the same time, her best friend put a handful of French fries to her mouth, while her face returned to the deadpan expression of someone who does her best not to burst into a laugh. And Mikasa was pretty good at that.

"Why? You set the clock forwaaaaaaaaaaaaard!" the brown-eyed girl screamed, about to burst into a sob. "Why did you do that, Mikasa!" Sasha ran to her and shook her, stopping only when Mikasa pushed another handful of French fries into her mouth. She almost choked, but she chewed until she could swallow them, so she could scream again. "You're mean! Pretty mean!"

"Next time, do be careful not to procrastinate," Mikasa replied, now with crossed arms. The bag of chips was empty and tossed to the trashcan. In turn, Sasha threw herself on the bed with an exaggerated sigh of relief, wiping away the tears caused by Mikasa's prank.

"Don't do that again, Mikasa."

"I promise nothing."

Relaxed to know she had a little more time, Sasha continued packing, although she was much calmer than before. It was hot. The sun's rays kissed the window and the curtains, although these ones seemed to want to hide behind the wall as soon as the breeze blew, invading the room with the refreshing gust of an early summer wind, going in and out with some chinks of the spring that would soon vanish.

Mikasa took a glass of water and sat on the floor, her back resting on the edge of her bed and watching Sasha still focused on her task.

"Hey..." commented the brown-haired girl, folding a few pieces of clothes. "You know what happened to Annie? I still can't believe what happened."

"Hmm ..." Mikasa mumbled. "I think she'd stay with an aunt. Armin took her there."

"Ah ... Well, so... school rumors turned out to be true. Poor Annie. I can't help but feel a little bad for her after all those things ... But the worst was your uncle, huh? I know that Kenny's a ... chicken-sh-t f-kin p-ssy mofo," Sasha avoided to pronounce the vowels between her words not to make them sound so rude, "but I didn't think him capable of going that far. I hope Levi gave him his due."

"He couldn't," Mikasa complained bitterly. "Even if he's the police captain, he can't touch him. At least not inside the cell."

"Agh," Sasha grumbled. "This is the kind of crap I hate. Someone needs to beat the living shit out of him."

"There's nothing we can do about it. And I prefer not to think about Kenny."

"Yes. You're right."

The dark-haired girl sighed and there was silence. So they stayed for a while like this, trading words here and there while Sasha finished packing her suitcases; the Coldplay and Carrie Underwood posters that adorned her side of the room were detached from the wall, leaving blank spaces that would disappear as soon as the days passed by. The Evanescence and Paramore ones, those that Mikasa liked so much, also disappeared, causing a tinge of nostalgia to well up within them. After all, they had spent two long years in the dorms, being independent, directing their own lives, and Mikasa would find it strange to have to go back to her brother's house and get used to his rules again. Sasha interrupted her thoughts by offering her the last piece of pizza left in the refrigerator, but she shook her head and her friend did not hesitate to devour it in record time. Mikasa Ackerman was never a fan of cold food, to tell the truth.

"I think it's a good thing you don't have to run the children's camp this summer," commented Sasha later. Her suitcases were already made. This time, Connie would arrive shortly. "I'm sure that Faye and Tamara are the only children you can get along with. When's Levi picking your things up?"

"In two days."

"Ah I dread having to live with him. He surely won't let us breathe; Levi is so severe."

"We're lucky that Hanji is there. She knows how to control him, even if he denies it," Mikasa commented. Sasha laughed.

"Hope so. Hey, you should call Eren to sleep here tonight ..."

"What?" Mikasa exclaimed, going nuts before Sasha finished the sentence, the blood rising on her cheeks in the blink of an eye.

"Please, Mika. Take advantage of this summer and do what you should do."

"And what am I supposed to do, Sasha?" she asked, trying to hide the timbre of nervousness that crouched in her vocal cords. Sasha rolled her eyes.

"You're not planning to be a sad virgin all your life, are you?"

"Sasha!"

Someone knocked on the door, leaving Mikasa with her heart in her throat and devoid of opportunities to refute her best friend's statement. When Sasha opened, Connie came in immediately; he had keys in his hand and was panting like someone who ran kilometers.

"Are you ready, babe?" he asked his girlfriend. "Dad said I can't take long with the car, or he'll kill me."

"Yes. We're leaving now? Isn't it too early anyway?" Sasha began to take her suitcases off the bed. Mikasa helped her out with one and Connie with two.

"The flight can go ahead. It's better to leave a few minutes earlier."

The girl nodded. Before leaving, she turned her head towards the inside of the room to make sure everything was in order.

"Mikasa, nothing is left, right? If I have something left, I'm screwed, because I won't be back here."

"Yes," Mikasa answered calmly, about to close the door.

"Huh? What's left?"

"Your head."

"What? My he- " Sasha was about to whimper. But when she realized her best friend's second prank, and her eyelids fell and her mouth twisted, somewhat pissed. Connie was holding a cackle in the corridor. "That's not funny, Mikasa."

"The face you made was for sure pretty funny. We're leaving now. There's nothing left, silly."

The next minute, the trio was outside the building. Connie removed the alarm to the car with a remote control and opened the trunk to put the suitcases inside.

"You're not going to take long, right?" Mikasa spoke, surprising her friend with that question. Sasha shook her head.

"Just three weeks. Now that I have a stepmother, I don't want to stay in Shiganshina for so long."

Mikasa nodded. Sasha threw the backpack that was hanging from her shoulder into the car and Connie got in to start the engine.

Meanwhile, in less than ten seconds, Mikasa remembered.

She remembered how she had met Sasha in the kindergarten and rescued her from some bullies who wanted to steal her lunch.

She remembered how good friends they were since then, despite being so different from each other.

The countless sleepovers, the walks, the childhood pranks. The mud battles, the sandcastles and the beginning of adolescence. The exaggerated sobs of her best friend when she played one of those cruel and funny pranks that only she knew how to play while Sasha swore revenge, but with no real intentions to do so. Her ravenous hunger that increased at birthday parties, and the thousands of nights she stayed at her side to comfort her when her parents died. Her attempts to make her laugh without success, and all the times she refused one of her hugs, only because she did not feel capable of answering her fair and right.

Mikasa remembered, and something told her that Sasha was one of the best things that had ever happened to her.

She was her roommate, her best friend and the sister she never had. She was Sasha, and she loved her just as she was. She wouldn't have wanted another one but her.

A twinge of regret hit her insides, because maybe she had not been grateful enough to her.

"Video call tonight?" asked the brown-haired girl, taking her abruptly from her introspective episode.

"Sure."

"Okay. Bye, Mika," Sasha said. She opened her arms to her best friend and locked her inside them, however, she did not expect to be tightened stronger and for longer than expected. With Sasha tucked into her embrace, Mikasa closed her eyes and muttered something that she didn't understand. "What did you say?"

Silence.

Mikasa said it once more.

"I love you, Sash."

Sasha laughed. That was unexpected, but nice.

"I love you too, Mika," And still, Mikasa did not let go. Connie blew the horn, but the dark-haired girl did not seem to listen. "I love you very very much. Sorry for not telling you before."

Sasha giggled, somewhat flushed by her best friend's statement. However, she knew that she had longed for that hug for a long time.

"Uh ... Mikasa ... I should go …" she announced, after a long squeeze.

"Eh, yes ... I'm sorry ..."

And even though Mikasa let her go, Sasha hugged her once more, albeit very briefly.

"See you in a few weeks, Mika. Bye," she said, going inside Connie's father's red Mazda. Mikasa waved her hand at her, and they kept smiling until they were out of sight of each other.

Mikasa sighed, inhaling the summer breeze as if trying to clean her lungs with fresh new air.

That afternoon, the last rays of sunshine had struck directly on the fibers of a heart that was now beating even harder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hanji knew Mikasa quite well. She had lived with her for three years before the girl left home to go to Trost. She had seen her go from being a teenager to a young adult, and now that she was living with them again, the woman with glasses and a birthday-face noticed that her sister-in-law had changed. Mikasa looked fresher, more cheerful, despite being as serious as before, but her face was no longer shadowed, and her beautiful dark gray eyes shone now, devoid of the phantasmagorical veil that the past had thrown over them. As before, it was not typical of her to start a conversation, but she was no longer so quiet, and more than once she had seen her stretching her lips in a smile. Tamara had always made her aunt smile, that was true, but Hanji knew there was something else.

Mikasa was in love. That was obvious, more so than the vastness of the universe itself.

 

"So... Tell me, kid, who's the lucky one?" she had asked her that summer Friday, when seeing her say goodbye to Tamara with a backpack slung over her shoulder and the bike keys in her hand. Mikasa's hair covered her face and that was why Hanji couldn't see her, but she swore she had heard her blushing from the kitchen door.

"No one. I'll go out with some friends. But don't tell Levi, please."

"You won't come home tonight, right?"

"Mm-mm," the girl replied in denial, leaving Tamara inside her crib. Hanji suppressed a giggle.

"At least call him so he won't lose his mind when it's ten and he doesn't see you back here. That way he won't go looking for you in the patrol after reporting you as missing."

The girl rolled her eyes.

"All right. I'll call him. See you then," she pronounced, walking towards the door.

"Oi," Hanji's voice stopped her, so she released the doorknob and turned on her feet to look at her sister-in-law. "I hope he's a good boy."

Mikasa went pale. However, it was useless to deny Hanji's statement.

"He is. There's nothing to worry about," She said at last, defeated. "But don't-"

"'Don't tell Levi'... Yes. I know. Now go, and call me if you need something, okay?"

The girl nodded and ran away, while her sister-in-law mocked her in silence. Hanji heard the bike's turning on before moving away outside, and she thought that this gloomy girl had grown a lot.

She had grown so much that Levi didn't like that fact at all.

.

Eren knew by heart the sound of that motorcycle. And when he heard her approaching, his heart skipped a beat, pounding in his chest out of excitement. Mikasa stopped in front of the Jaegers' beach house porch, where her boyfriend was already waiting for her, dressed in Bermuda shorts, a plaid shirt and his brown hair tied in his usual manbun. She smiled at the sight, taking off her helmet. Eren did not restrain himself to kiss her, and Mikasa could have stayed that way for a long hour if he had wanted to. The sun was hiding shyly, behind the horizon line, in the same way that a curious child looks out from behind a wall. Its summer rays kissed the girl's arms, wanting to dull the paleness of her skin by giving her a slight honey-colored tinge; however, Eren did not allow it, for he had her enter the house before the sand on the beach continued to slide between their feet. The sound of the waves crashing on the beach was drowsy, and the breeze lulled the leaves of the palm trees as they crossed between them, disappearing invisibly somewhere between the mountains that surrounded the beaches of Trost.

 

"So... did your brother let you out just like this?" he asked as they entered, without letting go of her hand until their feet stepped into the room.

"He wasn't home when I left, so I had to say nothing about my whereabouts. And hey, he doesn't control me, okay?"

Eren grinned at her and kissed her on the cheek.

"I thought so," he replied, making her sigh.

"And where's Armin?" Mikasa asked, getting comfortable in an armchair in the living room. Eren went into the kitchen and took something out of the refrigerator, before coming back to her.

"He said he was on his way. But that was..." the boy looked at his wristwatch carefully. There was one hour left for the evening. "Forty minutes ago. He should be here already."

"Hmm," she murmured. "Do you want me to call him?"

"If you want to call him, it's fine."

Mikasa nodded and didn't delay to dial her best friend's number.

 _"Hi there, Mika,_ " Armin answered with a cheerful voice, a couple of whistles later. " _What's wrong?_ "

"Hello, Ar. Eren and I are waiting for you. Where are you?"

She was sure he could hear a giggle coming from Armin's throat.

" _Hey ... I'm afraid I can't go ..."_

"What?" She gasped, arching her eyebrows in disappointment. Eren moved his hands to ask, but she asked him with a gesture to wait. "Why? Armin, we've been planning this for a month ..."

" _Mika, I'm really sorry, but my parents asked me to be with them today. You know, they're almost never home and ..."_

She sighed, defeated. If she had known that Armin was lying, she probably would have lectured him. But Mikasa would never have guessed something like that; as intuitive as she was, her best friend was quite smart, too much for his own good and hers.

But he was lying, for his friends' sake. Because Armin was the kind of go-between friend who thought that Eren and Mikasa should ...

Well, he thought that they needed some time alone. Time for talk and ... other things.

"Ah ..." she complained, her voice muffled and her shoulders drooping. Eren waited impatiently for the call to end. "In that case ... I think there's nothing you can do, Ar."

_"Not actually, Mika. I'm sorry..."_

"No no. It's okay. Go with them. It won't be the same without you but we'll manage, okay?"

Armin was dying to let out a sarcastic ' _Of course you'll manage without me!_ ' in the middle of the call. But he didn't. He had to control his laughter.

_"Sure, Miki; say hi to Eren. Enjoy the weekend. Bye."_

"Bye, Ar. See you then," The call ended and Mikasa put the phone aside. "He won't come..."

"I guessed it. He's a douchebag."

"Eren ..." she scolded him. Eren raised his hands in surrender.

"What? It's true. What's wrong with him?"

"Hey, his parents want to meet with him. He can't say no to that."

Eren tilted his head and sighed.

"All right. I suppose you and I will have to cancel our three-person plan and create a new one for two people."

Mikasa let out a slight and scathing grunt.

"Hey, not a big deal, though. We were just going to watch a Harry Potter marathon, weren't we?"

"It's not the same. We would try which one of us can endure 24 hours watching all the movies without sleeping. But whatever. How about we go to a nightclub, you and me? We dance for a while and then we go back, ok?" he commented, enthusiastic. But his excitement faded as he watched his girlfriend twist her mouth in disapproval.

"Eren, you know I'm not a fan of crowded places. And I don't know how to dance."

"Pfft," he bellowed. "I saw you dancing with horse-face, Mikasa. That same night he kissed you, and that same night you broke my nose for the second time."

The right corner of Mikasa's mouth stretched in a half shy and somewhat furtive smile, caused by Eren's jealousy. Then she bit her lip and kissed him on the cheek.

"I didn't dance with him; he took the lead. He kissed me because I didn't see it coming, and I broke your nose because you were being an idiot."

Eren pouted. As much as he tried to be upset, he wasn't making it.

"Yes, but ... You know why it was. Anyway, if you don't want to go to a nightclub, just tell me where you want to go."

Mikasa seemed to shrink in the corner of the chair.

"What if ... we stay here?"

"Do you want to do that? Are you sure?"

"Well ... I like this place. Why should we go elsewhere, though?"

He grinned widely, leaning toward her to kiss her, sliding his hands under the fabric that covered his girl's waist. She gave in to his movements and leaned back, but before she could imprison him in his embrace, Eren backed away with a fake cough.

He had to control himself.

He had to be able to do it.

She wanted to ignore the scene and pretend that nothing had happened. Nothing.

"Eh ... I have an idea. What do you think if ... we play music here and I teach you how to dance?"

"Hmm ..." she murmured. The girl straightened up in the armchair, while her mind cried out to her heart to stop beating so hard.

"Don't you like it?"

"Eh ... I think it's fine."

Eren got up and walked to the kitchen counter, where he returned from with a bottle of wine in his hand that he left in a cooler, next to two glass goblets. Mikasa did not notice: she was distracted by answering a message from Sasha.

"What do you want for dinner?" he asked as he stopped in front of the music player that rested inside the glass door closet. She looked away from her cell phone.

"Huh?"

"I asked: what you want to have for dinner."

"Hmm ... Whatever you make will be fine."

A tinge of untimely tension settled over them the moment Mikasa looked back at her phone, typing something. Eren closed his eyes and sighed, doing his best not to disappoint himself. He turned on the player and _Send me on my way_ filled the room with his characteristic guitar arpeggio and the male voices that repeated ' _on my way_ ' in a melodic infectious chorus. The song's whistles accompanied him to the kitchen, and by the time he finished cutting the vegetables, another melody had begun. Eren returned to where she was and watched her closely, focusing on the way the girl's short hair fell on both sides of her face, hiding it almost completely from his eyes. Mikasa felt that pair of turquoise pearls on her and looked up, a little bewildered.

"What?" she asked, putting the phone aside, one more time. Eren extended his hand to her.

"Can I have this dance?"

She did not know for sure why Eren's voice had sent an electric crash through her spine, but she had to make an effort to force her legs to move, and her arm to rise and be able to take her boyfriend's hand. He held her tightly and led her to the center of the room, hugging her waist and lacing his fingers with hers. Eren Jaeger could not dance either and had no idea what he was doing.

But with her there, none of that mattered.

"It's a miracle that it's not one of Eminem or AC / DC what we're dancing," she commented, a while after moving to the rhythm of the R 'n' B that got into their ears. Eren smiled and dared to look at her, tasting with each pore of his skin how the awful stiffness between them disappeared.

"Hey, everything has its time. And _The Platters_ is appropriate for the occasion."

One long step and another one to the right. Mikasa's feet followed Eren's, moving like magnets. When the girl's face turned to the left, she could see the bottle of wine placidly resting on an ice mound inside the bucket.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to the bottle. Eren arched his brow, noticing the pretty inquiring expression on his girlfriend's face.

"It's wine."

Mikasa shook her head.

"Yes ... I know what it is. What I mean is, why bring it out?"

Eren stopped for a moment and then continued his dance.

"Well ... to drink it."

"Eren, you know I don't drink alcohol."

"Hey, wine's not bad, and it won't be more than one drink for you, okay?" the boy put his hand to his mouth, and a false cough escaped through his fist. "Crybaby."

"What did you call me?"

Both of them stopped, as did the music. But neither of them knew if it was due to the fact that silence happened to music in its reign, or if it was because Eren had 'insulted' his girlfriend.

"Crybaby. That's what you are," he repeated, emboldened.

"Why do you say so?"

Eren swallowed. Mikasa looked at him with a sharp glare, the gray of her irises condensed as if she was about to devour him.

"Because you're afraid to drink. Even if it's just one."

"Ah. I see. So ... you say I don't drink because I'm scared? That's nonsense ..."

"No. That's not bullshit. You're a coward."

"Are you sure?" Mikasa's voice was now torn between threatening and flirty. Whether she had noticed the change or not, that was not a sure thing. But it fascinated Eren. That part of her awoke every fiber of his being.

"Totally."

"Oh yeah? Try me."

A subtle and sassy victory. Eren tasted it as he stepped away from her to serve her a glass of wine, watching her defiantly and with a crooked grin.

"Scared, Potter?"

"You wish."

Zero hesitations. Mikasa took the glass and swallowed its contents in one single gulp. That dry semisweet Cabernet Sauvignon rasped her throat, however, she preferred to choke herself in her own breath rather than let out a single one of her lung convulsions. Eren knew it, although he did not move a single muscle; he was sure that she would punch him if he mocked her.

"Whoah! You can't drink that fast, young lady," he warned her, but Mikasa seemed not to listen, because without delay she drank a second glass, served by herself. Ah, it had been a good idea to drink a second one; only then could she dispel the annoying tingling in her throat. After all, wine was not so bad.

And in the end, she had no choice but cough, causing Eren to let out a loud laugh. Two pairs of feet moved to the rhythm of _Little bitty pretty one, Uptown girl, Sing-sing-sing_ and a couple Michael Jackson's old singles, while five more glasses of wine became the masterminds behind a little less shy Mikasa.

"Agh!" She gasped as she felt that crimson liquid spill over her shirt the moment Eren pulled her against him and turned on his feet. The beautiful pastel blue shirt that Hanji had given her for her birthday was ruined now, with a huge scarlet patch extending from her right shoulder to her navel. Eren pulled away when he heard her and pouted.

"Hmm ... You must go and change," He mentioned before releasing her. Mikasa nodded, and as if her skin ached at the idea of getting away from him, she did, still looking at him until disappearing at the top of the stairs. Eren sighed and put his hands to his head, swearing that his nervous system would collapse if he did not calm down.

He was having a hard time trying to control himself. His girlfriend was a temptation he could barely avoid.

 

.

 

A sharp, sharp bell from the kitchen told Eren that the pheasant in wine was ready. It was Mikasa's favorite dish, and he hoped that she could smell the aroma of freshly baked meat coming down the stairs. But it had taken her a while to return, so he decided to leave the tray on the counter and go for her, in case she needed something from him.

 

_Knock Knock._

 

"Mikasa, are you ...?" Ajar, the door purred when pushed. A pair of turquoise eyes peeked into the room where she would sleep, and paused to find the pale, smooth skin of a bare back. Eren swallowed hard: his nerves had activated painfully and irremediably, each and every one of them.

The girl's voice suddenly brought him out of his trance.

"Eren, could you help me?"

_Fuck._

He did not know if she knew that she was torturing him by asking him with a gesture to help her fasten her bra. But the fact of seeing a part of her that he hadn't seen before was an ordeal, an agonizing backlash; How could he avoid it? How not to look at her, when her skin called him, enchanting him as the sirens enchanted Odysseus' ears on his journey to Ithaca. Eren had to accept the reality: he wanted nothing more than push her against the bed, to sandwich her between him and the bedsheets and fuck her as if there were no possible tomorrow ...

 

But he didn't deserve her.

He was a liar. She was purity made flesh; even with her imperfections, Mikasa was something ethereal before his eyes that only gods deserved to touch.

Before he realized what he was doing, his feet were walking towards her, who was waiting for him while facing the window. So much was his desire that his body now moved without being ordered. Yes, he wanted her so badly that his fingers clumsily brushed the glorious path that marked her spine and his mouth watered at the thought of kissing each of the pores that rose under his touch.

And he saw her tilting her head in the middle of a provocative sigh that also ruffled his skin.

However, he did nothing of what was so dangerous and lewdly meandering in his mind. Eren just closed his girl's bra. She turned to him and he kissed her forehead before covering her with the clean shirt that rested on the bed.

"Dinner is ready," he announced, closing the last button. Then he left, leaving a very frustrated woman behind him. The fire that burned inside Mikasa was unstoppable, unknown, devouring, relentless. With just a touch, both could have burned the whole place like a raging firestorm.

.

When she went down to the living room, the music had gone off. Her shoes' tap-tap cut off the silence of the room and alerted Eren to her presence, making him turn so he could look at her. However, Mikasa did not want to meet his eyes.

She was pissed, really pissed. With him, with herself, and she preferred to be silent.

As an act of rebellion, the dark-haired girl took a second bottle of wine, uncorked it, and poured a glass till it overflowed. Stunned, Eren watched her open-mouthed, but he knew he could not stop her.

"Hey, aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry," she said coldly, before wrinkling her face due to the burning and dry texture of the wine. Her feet pushed her away, with the bottle in one hand and the cup in the other. It took her an instant to throw that glass away, smashing it into a thousand pieces and drinking the contents right from the bottle.

Eren could not believe what he saw. He had to stop her. This was a Mikasa he didn't know at all.

A Mikasa who, had she been completely sober, would not have behaved that way. Then he regretted having teased her.

"Mikasa, stop. You have never done this and you'll get drunk."

"Let go, Eren," she protested, drinking the last drop of wine from the bottle before he could snatch it from her hands. A couple of minutes later, her blood and body would be completely and perfectly drunk.

"Mikasa, stop it. You are being irrational, childish, silly."

"That's none of your business," she replied, disappearing from his sight behind the entrance door. Eren went after her and watched her sit on the porch bench, looking toward the moon rising above the horizon line.

"Will you tell me what's wrong with you? What bothered you all of a sudden, Mikasa? We were perfectly fine and suddenly ..."

"Nothing, Eren," She interrupted the flow of his interrogation harshly. "Absolutely nothing's wrong with me," she did not want to look him in the eye. Nor could she tell him what was going on in her drunken head, because that would have been embarrassing. But she was not only upset, but also disappointed, sad. She was sure Eren did not want her and she could not force him to do it.

But how little she knew. She had no idea of the ordeal that it was for that poor boy to have had to touch her and not be able to have her.

"If there's nothing wrong, let's go inside. You're dizzy."

"No."

Eren sighed and grabbed her arm, but she shook it off from him violently.

"Mikasa, c'mon. Do you think you can sleep here?"

"That's none of your business."

She coughed. The early summer beach breeze in Trost could cause colds. Eren was worried.

"It is, whether you like it or not. Let's go inside."

"No."

"Perfect," Eren wouldn't say another word. So he leaned down and slid his arms under her to lift her up and carry her into the house, before she caught a flu. She wanted to resist, but she did not succeed; all she did was get out of his arms when he closed the front door behind them both.

"Do you have another bottle?"

"What? Are you crazy, Mikasa? What's wrong with you? Have you lost your common sense? Your mind?"

Eren was beginning to lose the little patience he had. The girl's eyelids closed for a moment, as she walked toward the kitchen and tried to keep her balance. He stopped her. She frowned.

"Leave me alone."

"No way. Go to sleep. You're fucking drunk."

"And what will you do if I don't wanna go to fucking sleep, Jaeger?" she dared him with a stern voice, looking him in the eyes. Eren massaged the bridge of his nose before moving.

"I suppose tonight I'll have to carry you everywhere," he announced rudely. And before she could say anything else, he bent down to hold her legs and carry her on the shoulder like a potatoes sack. However, Mikasa did not reply: she was too dizzy to protest, so she only dropped her weight on the boy's shoulder, while her hair hung from her head with the force of gravity and jumped with every step that Eren took to climb upstairs. Then he adjusted her in both arms before letting her fall on the bed, and before he could move away, he felt a pair of hands cling to his shirt collar.

Even drunk, Mikasa was strong. Very strong.

She kissed him. The dry taste of the red wine in her mouth activated his taste buds, and his tongue felt a blatant need to taste more of her. _Fuck, fuck, fuck_. How painful, exquisite and tortuous was the temptation, just like the thorn that sticks in the nightingale chest to color a rose with its blood while listening to him sing his last melody. He was the bird, Mikasa was the thorn; but he could not feel more comfortable in that death ...

"Mika ..." she bit his lower lip, but he pulled away again. "Mikasa, you're drunk. You don't know what you're doing..."

"Eren, I know I'm drunk, drunk like shit, but I know exactly what I'm doing …" she sighed. "I want you."

Not even he could help it. The boner that was rising under his pants began to become painful.

One more kiss.

"Mikasa, please ..."

_I can't ... I can't do this to you ..._

"Eren ..." The alcoholic gasp that fell from the girl's throat pierced his tongue and scraped his throat, stuning him. Then he looked into her eyes and saw the small salty drops that accumulated in her pupils, as if her tears wanted to tell something that her mouth could not scream.

The turquoise eyes slid slowly over each contour of that velvet-like face, over her eyebrows, her eyelashes, her dark gray irises and the tiny rays that adorned them; over her sharp nose and chin. Over her throbbing chest that expanded to the sound of a heavy and anxious breathing. Eren watched her all, as never before. He watched her lips, those seductive, drunken and sweet thin lines that called him out, impatient. And there was no longer a drop of desire that his body could get.

Their mouths mixed again, awkwardly at first, like two ants crossing in an arduous way, and then with delight, hungry and exasperated.

"Mikasa, if you don't stop me, I won't ..." Eren's words were silenced with a furtive and shy kiss that contrasted with the cravings that ate away at them.

"I have no intention of stopping you, Eren."

As if it were a spell, Eren obeyed the implication of that response. Possessed or haunted, either option wouldn't have been enough to describe the intensity of his desire. His fingers slipped on the girl's clothes with annoyance, despising the fabric that stood between them as something despicable, until finally getting rid of what was covering her, in a greedy dance. Wild kisses, trembling and determined, kisses that bit and adored; firm, unyielding hands that tightened around pale skin, and wavering, cold fingers that clung to the warm tanned skin. Opposing poles coexisting in the same life and in the same sublime moment without wanting to stop. Eren pulled back a little to be able to adore her, fixing his eyes on hers: every strand of her hair, short and dark, melted in the middle of the white sea of sheets, creating a perfect disharmony.

"Eren ..." the girl gasped beneath him, trying to catch the breath that had not been completely removed. He replied mumbling. "Your hands are cold ..."

Eren swallowed.

"So are yours."

"Yes, but ... I'm nervous. This will be my first time. But you..."

There was not a single word heard. And although the boy's eyes did not move away from her, Mikasa could realize in the middle of her drunkenness that maybe things were not as she had imagined them.

A scarlet tint colored the cheekbones of the boy in front of her, making her smile sweetly.

"I thought that ..." she snorted in the middle of her frenzy, with her lover's face tucked between her hands. "That you and Annie ..."

Eren shook his head vehemently, right before she could finish.

"Never. And let's not talk about her or anyone else now, Mikasa. You're the only one that I want."

The clash of their lips as they joined blew the noise of the sea waves through the window. Eren could feel the violent beat of his own heart hammering in his ears, just as Mikasa could feel hers; her lungs widening brashly in search of oxygen and the rubbing of their skins making it increasingly unbearable to wait to get inside her. Mikasa hugged him, locking him in her with unwavering will as Eren molded his hips in hers, making her tremble, making her feel a throbbing pain that she did not feel before, at the exact moment that he merged his humanity into hers, into that immaculate and unexplored crack, his ass muscles flexing with each thrust, destroying her chastity and shyness, before becoming both a single living being.

"Eren ..." she moaned. Her voice was a mixture of ecstasy and pain, but more pain than ecstasy, and that name entered the boy's ears like a thin, slimy snake that sent shivers down his nerves.

With his nose brushing hers, Eren used the little will he had left to be able to utter a single sentence.

 

"Are you ok?" He gasped, as if he was about to lose consciousness. With a wincing face, Mikasa nodded, despite everything. "Am I hurting you?"

The question was agonizing. Eren knew the answer before he could hear it.

"Do you want me to stop?" he pronounced, with raspy and breathless voice. Then he saw her shaking her head in denial, vehemently, as he felt the constrictor hug of the girl closing around him.

"Don't do it... Please."

Sweat caressed them, tracing every part of their bodies as a faithful witness to their idyll, and Eren swallowed with delight every one of the agonizing moans and sobs that escaped from his girlfriend's throat, with thousands of electrifying sparks that ran through her body as he plunged into her, like a whirlwind of scorching sensations that ran through his muscles and forced him to peak in the exhausting and liquid triumph of a burning and ambitious passion.

"Eren?" she asked with anguish to hear his whimpers and agonized grunts. He shook his head, aware that he could not take much.

"Mik- ..."

He could not help it. Mikasa heard him moan and writhe on top on her, squeezing her mercilessly to free her the next second, completely devoid of strength.

Silence filled the bedroom again, but it was interrupted by Eren's voice.

"I'm sorry ..." he said with shame and without letting her go, raising his head to be able to find that pair of gray eyes that already waited for him. Mikasa swallowed; she was still trying to recover from the pain that invaded her groin and the depths of her core.

"It's okay ..." she replied, holding his face as tenderly as she could. Eren smiled and kissed her, trembling and breathless, thinking that this woman was the most beautiful drunk that could exist on earth. They looked into each other's eyes and thousands of words were said in silence, between her tears of happiness and his kisses, as Eren swallowed those salty drops with an ethereal devotion. She tasted like wine, sweat, tears, like salt and future; he tasted like ginger, salt, love and salvation. Then he got hard inside her and kissed her again, just as an angel might kiss his god, or as the sky kisses the sea on the horizon.

He was rough and gentle at the same time, and she could not figure out how, but she loved it. She loved every inch of him, every drop of sweat, every thrust, no matter how painful they were. She loved his essence, his lips and kisses spreading all over her like burning flames. She loved his body inside her; she loved being devoured by a force bigger and stronger than themselves. Her flesh trembled beneath his hands, and her nails dug into his tanned skin, because she could not afford to lose him. Never. She was in the right place, at the right time, with the right man.

And she never felt more complete before. Because she needed him as the earth needs water, as dark places need light; because she seemed to have forgotten her name from the moment he made her his, and she didn't care about anything else. Because he needed her skin and her warmth to chase away his ghosts, and because she was the pure air that his dreams breathed. Their heart rates increased to such an extent that Eren could feel the _dump, dump, dump_ of his own heart, frenzied at the palpable sight of that body beneath his, with reason and sanity fleeing completely from both of them. For instants he just wanted to protect her, to kiss her as if she were the most fragile petal; but at the same time his only wish was to break her, split her in two and rejoin her scattered pieces in a single breath.

Her voice joined to the concert of pleasures that arose in the form of sweat drops, disturbed by her vehemence, clouded by the vigour of her essence, adoring him with her vocal cords, with each moan that escaped inclemently from her throat; so inclemently and sweetly as he savored with his mouth every corner of her skin, every space, the mole that peeked into a corner of her hip, breaking with the immaculate and monochromatic harmony of her pale, arrogant, triumphant skin, proud of having been touched by Eren's tongue, that tongue that she could not describe as nothing more than a paintbrush made by angels themselves, while sliding over the canvas of her body, painting desires, wishes, passion, flames. Painting the lowest instincts and at the same time the most sublime ones, marking that unexplored territory as his own. Eren understood the euphoria of the conquerors by stepping on a strange, beautiful, exotic land; because that's how she was: strange, beautiful, magnificent, divine, sweet. Sweet as the syrup of his recipes, unusual as the cherry tree that bloomed every spring in the garden at Carla's house, and delicate as the pink petals that covered the ground in a breathtaking spectacle, even before the sight of the most insensitive soul. That was Mikasa. Exquisite and dense to the touch like a Turkish delight; her moans, heavenly as a lyre arpeggio played by a cherub. Her lips, soft, warm, thin, perhaps so fragile that he feared to make them bleed, but so strong at the same time that he didn't hesitate to cause a wound, wanting to drink every drop of her blood in a primitive and hurried instinct that she found torturously soothing, while the turquoise fire-eyed boy's name wailed between her sighs.

Because they painted bonfires, both were paintbrushes and canvases at the same time, and the landscape burned in a bush, like the phoenix that dies and is reborn from among its ashes. Yes, both died and were reborn in the middle of all that scorching fire, in the middle of each push, each kiss, each caress and look. Turquoise eyes nailed deep into the liquid and dark silver of those almond-shaped and huge eyes that begged to have more of him; laced tongues and lips that sucked, hungrily. She trembled under his fingers and his touch, sighing. _Eren. Eren. Oh Eren_. A sonata inside his ears, a prelude from her throat. Even the sky blushed to see that dance, in which Eren drew with his fingers the fine lines that formed her lips in two precious and sordid ambrosias, drowning his fingers in her pores, blinding her eyes with his kisses, hanging from her lips and sinking his teeth into them. Then he seemed to go mad; yes, she drove him mad, made him lose his mind, made him increase the strength and speed of his thrusts, turning the moans of his girl into the thread of a long and drowned cry that became intermittent when he pushed himself into her, impatient and vigorous, crashing his skin against hers, mixing their sweats and breathings, absorbing with delight the saltiness of their bodies in that frenetic swaying until suffocating. She imprisoned his demons in her arms, making him feel safe. He turned her into poetry, and his bones ached from loving her so much, while his heartbeat told him what he could not sum up in words, entirely lost in her, without intending to get lost somewhere else, letting the fire consume them completely and made them ashes, as well as the stars that burned to witness the accomplished passion between their sheets.

 

He had to dig into her every time he heard her say his name. Because, God, the way those letters came out of her mouth drove him crazy. Eren felt dizzy, helpless against his wife's divinity, but so powerful that he wanted to consume all that power within her, as if it were the last thing he could do in the world. She moaned, gasped, tore at his back, making him bleed under her nails; and she sang his name again and again, barely containing her sobs of pleasure. He calculated his breathing against hers, exasperated, poignant, arrhythmic; He gripped her hair tightly, so that she felt his longing not to let her go. He held her body against his, to make her feel his heat and dizzying heartbeat. He took her hands and guided them throughout his body, alert, artists, eager and sublime. Eren wept, wept inspiring and thoughtful tears, while he felt her without saying a word nibbling at the inferiority of her corners, slowly, like when eating a strawberry, massaging every corner of her existence, kissing her lips with words in whispers, with more intermittent desire, with more silent provocations, overflowing with love and fluid, comparing only to a spring water.

Eren did not stop kissing her, because he did not want to. And when his eyes met hers, he saw a silver galaxy in her irises, and a starry universe in her pupils.

"Mikasa ..." he called, in the middle of a broken breath. She hardly opened her eyes, trying to look at him without losing herself again in the swirl of delights in which she had sunk. "Don't say that."

Then he saw her eyes open with attention, trying not to lose her head.

"Don't say what?" Her voice was a thread that was lost in the tangle of moans that both of them shared.

Eren moaned.

"My name."

Gasps, sweat. Two pairs of lungs struggling not to collapse. Wonderful and severe thrusts.

"Wh- ..." Mikasa sighed a long sigh, clinging tightly to her lover's skin. "Why?"

He kissed her. He could not afford to stop.

"Because you'll be the death of me."

Mikasa smiled. She smiled widely as she hadn't smiled in a long time, and Eren felt lucky. He bit her neck and her breasts, seeing her arch her back beneath him, knowing that the pain had left her long ago. However, he could not avoid the restlessness that hit him slightly when he saw her frown in an expression that seemed tortuous.

"Are you ok?" He spoke again, in the middle of his ecstasy, looking deeply into her eyes. Her naked body was a window to heaven, as was her soul. Mikasa was sure that he could see through her thoughts, while penetrating her body and spirit without any mercy. She had never felt so vulnerable before.

Then she nodded at his question, with as much sanity as her lucidity allowed, dizzy with pleasure. Eren entwined his lips with hers once more. That night, she was a stave, and he, the most talented composer. That night, Mikasa knew: Eren was everything she had longed for.

.

The highest point of the moon in the sky witnessed the conclusion of the purest act of love. He brought his hand to the girl's face and stroked her lips and cheeks, smiling at the sight of her eyes still shut. Little by little, their breathing returned to normal and their bodies left the tension. Eren kissed her for the umpteenth time that night, before calling her name.

"Mikasa?"

"Hmm?"

Eren laughed.

"Look at me. Open your eyes."

Her eyelids opened, revealing a pair of dark gray pearls that Eren was deeply in love with.

"Don't look at me," It was the first thing she could pronounce, her cheeks dyed red.

"Why not? I think it's a bit late for that, isn't it?" the boy scoffed. Mikasa covered her face with both hands, and to Eren it seemed the cutest thing in the entire universe.

Then he did it.

He heard her laugh. For the first time, Mikasa Ackerman laughed. For the first time in what seemed like centuries, she laughed again; and her laughter was timid, sudden, nervous, sharp. The most beautiful sound that Eren Jaeger's ears could ever hear. This was not a new Mikasa, but many new things had awakened in her.

And their laughter ceased, and the turquoise eyes pierced the gray ones.

"I love you," he said, with his forehead pressed against hers, brushing her lips with his breath and her pale face with his brown hair, and the weight of his statement getting into the girl's ears to reach her marrow.

Mikasa smiled once more.

"I love you too."

In the same way that the lightning bolt kisses the ground in the middle of the storm, Eren kissed the woman beneath him. He kissed her lips, her nose, her eyelashes, her eyelids, her hair, her cheeks, all of her, reverencing and idolizing her presence. He looked at the scar he had caused, and with regret, slid his thumb and mouth over it, as if that could atone for his guilt. Exhausted, he collapsed on top of her, and Mikasa soon laced her fingers through the strands of brown hair, looking up at the ceiling with the broadest smile her mouth had drawn in a long time.

"Mikasa."

"Hmm?"

Eren finished catching his breath before speaking again and could feel the vibrations of the girl's voice in his head.

"A year ago we hated each other ..." Mikasa heard him gasp. "And look where we are now."

He heard her laugh again and knew he could never get tired of that sound.

"People fall in love in mysterious ways," she announced in a whisper.

"Ah, I know that song. But it's true."

Yawning, Eren dropped down beside her so she could look at her better. The girl's fingers stretched to his face and slid over his sparse beard.

For a moment, for one night, Eren could forget about the guilt he carried on his back. His demons were chained, and he was not going to let them out.

He groped for a blanket to cover both of their bodies. Mikasa kissed him again, and the taste of the wine still rested in her mouth.

"Do you wanna sleep?" she asked him. In the end, the girl expected her lover's response to be negative.

And it was.

Eren shook his head and kissed her fingers.

"Not at all."

And while they were frantically lost again in the paradise of earthly pleasures for the rest of the night, both of them were able to reach a conclusive and accurate conclusion.

Eren realized the most obvious fact in his life: she was everything.

She was like a sunshine and rainbow and rain, everything was inside her. She was like a child's laughter, like the ice cream that Carla used to buy him on a sunny day after picking him up from school. She was like a snowflake melting in his hands; she was peace and also a storm, very in her own way. She was like the sweetest dessert, and she tasted like his best pudding. She was salt and sugar; she was like a slow fire and the most silent wind. She was soft and beautiful, like a feather. She was his warm bedsheets on a cold winter day. She was a smile, like her music, like a harmonious _crescendo_ inside a sudden _forte_ that got into his ears and gave him chills; like a sublime lyre playing the most tasty notes for the greatest god. She was sweet and pure, the path that lead him to heaven and made him fall into hell. She was his breath and the beating of his heart.

She was his.

 

In her dreams, Mikasa realized the most fascinating and absurd thing in her life: he was everything.

He was her violin strings, a sonata, a hurricane, a lightning bolt. He was a piggyback ride, like the ones her father used to give her when she was a child, the kind that made her laugh out loud. He was like climbing a roller-coaster, wishing the trip would never end. He was the butterflies in her stomach when she saw him tie his hair in a bun; He was her taste buds screaming when she ate pudding. He was his own fingers running all over her body, driving her crazy, making her go wet. He was her blood boiling and her mind fluttering, lost in ecstasy. He was her awakening, the sun, the purest morning dewdrop; he was her desire, her heart's fire, the cure to her past and her desire for the future. He was like cotton candy melting in her mouth; he was her core, a bleeding wound that she didn't want to be closed. He was a cloud, he was herself dying and rising in his mouth; He was her scarf and the night he wrapped it around her neck. He was lemon drops and spices on her tongue. He was the wrath and love of God within her sex. He was a prayer, and also her demon.

He was hers.

.

Mikasa squeezed her eyelids as the incandescent light of the morning sun hit her face. Then she opened her eyes and, with blurred vision, tried to get used to the clarity of the room while her mind made a detailed account of the previous night events. Her eyes slid over the arm closed around her and the body that rested next to her, until they stopped in a pair of turquoise eyes that watched her. Eren smiled before kissing her on the forehead.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he greeted her with a morning voice, removing from his girl's eyes that raven-haired tuft. She blinked several times in a row, making her pupils get used to the light.

"Morning ..." The smile that escaped from her lips was something that she herself could not foresee and that she could not have avoided, even if she hadn't wanted it. "What time is it?"

"Hmm. Twelve in the afternoon, maybe."

"Huh?" She gasped in amazement. "I've never slept this late ..."

"Well, surely you've never stayed awake until four in the morning," Eren announced with a smug grin, before kissing her lips. Placing her under him, the boy imprisoned her in his embrace, joining his mouth to hers as he mumbled nonsensical praises against her tongue and made her laugh. "Smile more, please. I love your laughter and your smile."

She did it, and he heard angels singing.

"Eren …" her voice was interrupted by another kiss. "Eren!"

"Wut?"

Apparently, he had no intention of moving away from those lips.

"We must get up."

There was laughter, and then the snap of two mouths joining once more.

"Why?"

"Because ..." another kiss. "I'm hungry."

Eren stopped.

"In that case ... Yes, we must get up."

A last kiss. Or at least, the last one until they got out of bed. When Mikasa tried to straighten up, the hangover hit her head like a steel fist, forcing her to lie down again on the mattress. Everything was spinning around.

"Shit!" she exclaimed, her hand on her forehead. "What the heck is this?"

"It's called ' _I must listen to my boyfriend when he tells me that I shouldn't drink more_ '. Yes. That's it," He teased her while walking to the other side of the bed to help her up. Mikasa glared at him, but he just laughed, covering her body with the blanket.

"You're a shameless brat. You challenged me to drink."

"Well, I never thought you were going to drink three bottles, Ackerman. That was a record. Now let's go to the bathroom, you take a good shower while I make something to eat," Eren warned her with a kiss on her cheek. She moaned softly as she felt his hands on her waist: the pain of her muscles could be compared to a thorough physical exercise session for twenty-four hours, after a long season of inactivity. Mikasa's frown faded, but the awe expression on her face as she passed in front of the mirror would have alarmed half the world.

"Ah!" she gasped. "My hair..."

Her expression only made Eren to laugh again as he held her so she would not fall because of the dizziness caused by the hangover.

"Well ... it looks terrible, but it was worth it," He commented with an eye wink, while she combed her hair with her hand until it was again the waterfall of dark silk that it had always been. "You should let it grow out a little."

The girl's gaze fell to the ground, but he raised it again, holding her chin.

"I haven't let it grow since ..."

"Yes. I know. But it's time to turn that page, my love. I think your hair would look beautiful if you let it grow again."

Mikasa smiled once more, as she would do the rest of that summer Saturday when the sea breeze would lull their passions. They would cook and eat together, and Eren would cook his girlfriend's favorite dessert before going to the beach to play soccer, or Mikasa would teach him some hand-to-hand fighting techniques, not without fooling around for a while as they swore that the world had stopped rotating, just to revere that moment. They would make love in all possible ways, and even then, they would never have enough time to profess what had grown so patiently and effusively within them.

 

Leaving the beach house that Sunday after such an intense weekend would be like waking up from the most pleasant dream to an absurd reality.

 

Eren opened his BMW's passenger door and Mikasa got out of it, a corner before reaching Levi's house. He would have wanted to leave her in front of the door, but she refused, avoiding at all costs that her older brother saw them together. The motorcycle had stayed at the beach house, and Eren would return it to its owner later. With a deep and long kiss hidden in the middle of a smile (as he squeezed his girl's butt while she grudgingly resented it), the lovers said goodbye to each other between silent protests before the annoying sight of their temporary separation. After such an intense weekend, taking different paths was an irritating fact.

.

.

"Tch. What's wrong with this brat?"

Captain Ackerman's cavernous voice rose over the dining room at dinner time, as he watched his younger sister with a lost sight somewhere in the nothingness. Hanji snapped her fingers in front of her, and when Mikasa reacted, startled, little Tamara burst into laughter, clapping her hands on her father's legs.

"Huh?"

The baby's laughter in her father's arms slowly ceased. Everyone looked at the dark-haired girl: Levi with suspicion, and Hanji with tense interest.

"Kid, you've been spaced out in la-la-land since you got home. Are you ok?" Hanji asked, between dismayed and amused. Levi's eyes narrowed as he stared at his sister, though Tamara made him lose concentration as she tugged at his hair, babbling incomprehensible and cute nothings as he wiped the saliva from her mouth.

"Uh ... Yes. I'm fine."

"And what happened to your lip?" Levi's voice sounded threatening now, and with his index finger he pointed to his younger sister's mouth. Pale, Mikasa touched the point of the wound on her lower lip.

It was such a luck that Levi could not see the light bruises in her legs and torso, or he would have gone mad. But even with how strongly Eren had squeezed her, his hands were wonderful; so she smiled to herself, her face hiding her thoughts with an deadpan mask.

And she could not complain: she had also left her lover a few marks.

"I bit myself."

"Ah," Levi did not seem so convinced. "Where did you spend the weekend?"

"In a camp with schoolmates."

"I see. And was it a scientific camp or something? Because I think you had your brain removed with that stupid ass face you brought here," the captain mentioned with a dismissive face. Mikasa wrinkled her lip in annoyance and Tamara put in her father's mouth the slimy rattle she was playing with. However, that little girl had done so many things like that before, that Levi Ackerman no longer noticed it; It could be said that his daughter had forced him to be less rigid.

"Tamara removed your brain from you too and I've never spoken about it, midget."

Hanji laughed and her daughter followed suit. The captain smiled when he heard the rumble caused by the two women of his life, and without expecting it, he also heard his sister laugh.

The show was both outrageous and unexpected and pleasantly shocking.

"You can't deny that, Levi," Hanji commented, still laughing. Tamara looked at her aunt and babbled again something that no one understood.

"Don't back the brat up, Four Eyes. One of these days I will make her respect me," Levi replied with a frown. Mikasa rolled her eyes and Hanji winked at her sister-in-law so she would not pay attention to the angry midget. "And as punishment, you will wash the dishes, brat."

"Tch."

And no matter how much Mikasa complained or grumbled, she must obey. Tamara yawned with one of those cute baby noises that caught the attention of all the adults at the table, and her father stood up, with her in his arms. But the little girl stretched out her plump little hand towards her aunt as if calling her, and the girl soon came to her and kissed her cheeks. Mikasa still mocked internally that a week ago she had gone out with Tamara and someone, assuming she was her daughter, had commented that the child was a precious baby, just like her mother. And despite clarifying that Tamara was not her daughter but her niece, it was the first time that the idea of having kids did not seem as outlandish to her as before.

"Are you going to make her sleep?" Hanji asked her husband. Levi nodded.

"I'll leave her in our room. I'll take a nap too," the captain announced before going upstairs. His sister returned to her thoughtful face after losing sight of him, and his wife stared at the girl carefully, before saying a word.

"How was it?"

"Huh?"

Hanji laughed and pressed the saddle of her glasses with her index finger.

"Was the boy good to you? Did he treat you well?"

Mikasa blushed, and for that reason she refrained from looking at her sister-in-law.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's logical that you're a sad newborn in sexual issues, so I want to know if you were ok."

No matter how hard she tried to keep her composure, the gray-eyed girl could not hide the intense flush over her cheeks.

"Where do you get that from, Hanji?"

The woman in glasses snorted.

"If we mention facts, I'll say that you spent the weekend with a guy; Added to that, you came back with an idiot face and even laughed, and I had never seen you laugh, Mikasa. If I'm not mistaken, the aforementioned must be Faye Jaeger's older brother because a month ago you went to pick her up at school in his car and I noticed too much sexual tension between the two of you, even though you denied me that there was something between you and him."

"You're worse than Armin ..." Mikasa muttered underneath her breath, dazed by the insight of her brother's wife.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Okay. I just want to know if the boy is as good as he seems to be. I think he should cut his hair, but he might be a good boy."

"He is," Mikasa replied without thinking. Hanji let out a crooked smile.

"In that case, I'm glad to see you happy, kid. And Levi too, even if he doesn't know the source of all that happiness. I'm just asking you to be safe, ok? I don't think your brother likes the idea of being an uncle for now."

"Hanji!" exclaimed the girl, her face bathed in different shades of bright red. "T-That won't happen."

Hanji saw her swallow hard because of her shame and mocked her.

"It's okay. I think. Just tell me if you need help and here I'll be there for you, okay?" Mikasa nodded. Somehow, while looking at Hanji, her eyes showed gratitude. "Now, wanna see a Dad-mode Levi?"

The girl found the phrase so funny that she let out a chuckle. Hanji imitated her and stood up, inviting her to follow her up the stairs without making a sound. Before approaching the main bedroom, both of them heard a whispered humming come out of the only male voice that inhabited that house. Captain Ackerman had forgotten he could sing until his daughter was born, so he decided to rock her with his voice every day, fully convinced that his wife had never heard him.

And there he was now, walking with his little girl in his arms from one side of the room to the other, rocking her in the cooing of his calm voice while singing a Yiddish lullaby that Samuel Ackerman used to sing to his children when they were kids. Tamara would smile at her father as she did every day when she heard his voice, and Levi would kiss her on the forehead. However, neither his sister nor his wife could observe that lovely scene, because they had to hide in order not to be seen, or Levi would have been very mad at them.

Mikasa was very pleased to learn that her older brother was happy too. Happy in his own way, yes.

But he was.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The afternoon when Eren went to visit his mother again, he did not wait for Grisha to sit with him in the same chair, a few inches away. Shed both in an uncomfortable silence, Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat before uttering a thing. Carla and Faye were in the kitchen, so that was the best opportunity for a fair and necessary father-son talk.

 

The last time Grisha spoke with one of his children had happened a couple of years ago; Now, he was too busy for it. However, he knew that he must make his mistake up before it was too late. He only hoped that his children would not hold a grudge against him, even though their hopes seemed completely outlandish.

"Eren, how are you doing at school?"

The question took the boy by surprise. Eren put his cell phone aside and turned his head to where his father's voice came from. Carla was right: her oldest son looked a lot like Grisha, now that he was all grown-up.

"Alright. I guess."

Silence.

Nothing could be more uncomfortable than the scene between a father and a son who had behaved like a pair of strangers for a long time.

But Grisha knew deep down that it was his fault.

"How're you doing with your girlfriend?"

"How is that-...?"

"Your mother told me about it. But it was obvious between you two, isn't it?

Eren nodded as he emerged from his unexpected amazement.

"After almost seven months of being with her, I think it's obvious to anyone," the boy replied sarcastically. His father smiled.

"That's not what I meant, but it's fine."

Silence again. Eren cleared his throat and Grisha took a sip from the glass in his hand.

"Eren."

"Yes?"

"Your brother told me you're mad at him and he doesn't know why."

Eren grumbled with displeasure.

"Tell him to find it out by himself," replied the boy, frowning. "Hey, if you want to tell me something ... Do it. There's no need to beat around the bush."

Grisha looked at him, stunned for a second. Then he smiled warmly again, and dropped a hand on his son's shoulder, for the first time in a long time.

The touch was strange and even uncomfortable, but also warm. They both knew that they had expected it and that it was necessary.

And without preambles or ornaments, Grisha decided to take the step he should have taken long ago.

"Maybe you don't do what I want, Eren, but ... I'm proud of you."

Eren swallowed. He sighed, his breathing faltered, and his shoulders moved abruptly to the rhythm of a slight hiccup attack that, if not controlled, threatened to turn into a sob. The boy did not want to admit it, but he had been waiting for those words for what seemed like centuries.

His father continued, very much in spite of the knot that had formed in his throat.

"I suck as a father. I think I should never have been one, but ... Zeke, Faye and you are everything to me," The doctor's voice broke like a branch. "I'm sorry I never said it before, and I'm sorry I behaved like a terrible father."

That was all. Grisha did not have to say another word, because it was not necessary. His son had understood each and every one of them, and they had stuck in his heart like pungent but healing needles.

The boy nodded and combed his hair, trying to calm his shock. The doctor removed his hand from his son, and stood up. But that word stopped him. The word that Eren had long stopped saying.

"Dad..."

Dr. Jaeger's heart sank as well.

"Yes?"

"I wasn't the best son either."

Grisha smiled again, but this time, a tear interrupted that expression. The drop of salt water slid under his glasses until it came to rest on the small beard that adorned his chin and that Eren seemed to want to imitate. The son stood up, and the father received him in a warm hug that had fallen silent. Eren had missed him, and he could not believe that the puzzle of his life was finally beginning to be completed.

"I was the same. I have no right."

They both laughed, and when Carla and Faye entered the room and saw the scene, they joined her, amid childish laughter and sobs from a mother that was satisfied and grateful to heaven.

However, deep down, Eren feared that this was just a fleeting mirage, a colorful paper sheet that could be broken at any moment. But he preferred to fend off his fears, and enjoy what he had so dreamed of, even if he did not accept it.

Because sometimes, a lull always came before the storm.

But it was better not to think about the storm.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first thing I want to say:
> 
> Isayama, why did you kill her off? Why Sasha? I still can't believe it. One part of me is in denial and the other one just cries out just seeing an image of my potato girl.  
> Interestingly, the scene I wrote about Mikasa and her was already planned since before the painful and sad chapter 105 that has just been released and we painfully read. I wanted to capture the headcanon that we all have about how much Mikasa loves Sasha. After all, they have been roommates for years, and we already saw how heartrending the cry our girl gave when she saw her friend on the floor. I'm glad to have written that scene; I think we all need it.
> 
> And with regard to the question that many have already asked me: no, I won't kill Sasha. But you should know that this was a quiet chapter full of fluff for certain reasons that you will later understand. Yes, be ready. What is coming won't be pretty. Also, the title for this chapter was based on the song “Turning pages“ by Sleeping at last. I wanted to let you know that you can find me on Tumblr as iliankashingekinohogwarts in case any of you want to send me asks there. There's been a lot of nonnies that left reviews with questions and I can't reply them all.
> 
> Again, thanks to Adri because without her I would have been stuck in more than one scene. Her fic is called "Kill or Die" (a Hunger Games and SnK Au), and she's one of the best writers I know so go and read it.
> 
> Without further reasons to extend, I look forward to your reviews, and see you next chapter. Thanks for being so patient.


	27. The letter

Eren walked slowly. After parking the car and getting out to walk to the supermarket, he could not help feeling that someone was watching him. There was no one around when he turned his head to look into every corner of the parking lot, and he thought that maybe he had lost his mind; However, caution accompanied him from the time he put his foot inside the place until he left, with a couple of bags in his hand that he quickly left in the car trunk before catching a fleeting twinkle that completely unnerved him.

But a second flash alarmed him. He was too suspicious, without another living being inside the parking lot other than him.

Then he came to the conclusion that he was being someone's search target, when he saw a silhouette slipping behind a Ford in the parking lot left wing.

With firm and stealthy steps, Eren walked towards the stranger's hiding place, to discover a puny boy, perhaps of his age, crouched between two vehicles, with a camera in his hand and his head covered with a hoodie, waiting to not to be found by the guy he had been chasing for most of the day. But luck was not on his side, because Eren knew how to get to him, and did not hesitate to pull the sweatshirt he was wearing to get him out of his trench and make him face the consequences. The camera fell to the ground when one hand closed on his neck and the other rose in front of his face, while his back was painfully facing the back of a Hummer. Eren was relentless, and he would not let him go until the boy explained.

"Don't hurt me, sir! Don't!" the skinny, short boy covered his face with both hands, afraid of his right fate. Eren shook him, not intending to let go, pressing a little more the grip he had on the stranger's neck.

"Tell me what the fuck you were doing taking pictures of me, you motherfucker!" Eren's voice echoed in the parking lot, sharp and rough. The camera boy was shaking in front of him, so he had to swallow hard and sigh deeply so that his vocal chords managed to emit the faintest of noises.

"Don't kill me, don't kill me! They sent me to do it!" The boy swallowed again, and Eren could see it when the boy's Adam's apple moved dramatically under his hand. It was then that he let go of his neck, but made sure not to let him go by gripping the cotton cloth of the boy's sweatshirt.

The confession was unexpected. Who could send a wimpy kid like this one to chase him? Eren gave a quick tally of the people he knew, and there was not a single one who could do something like that.

"Spit. Who sent you? Is this a motherfucking joke, you bastard? Tell me who told you to do this!"

The stranger began to sweat profusely. Judging by his way of acting, how intimidated he was and his sloppy appearance, he must not be more than 18 years of age.

"I J-Just... They paid me to do it and I just wanted to earn some money ..."

"Tell me who the fuck sent you to do this," Eren repeated with rudeness and a demanding tone. The boy covered his face again.

"I can't tell you, sir..."

The boy's words were interrupted when Eren shoved him back against the truck, causing him to twist his face in pain after the impact on his back.

"Tell me, or I'll break your face, you bastard."

"Galliard! Galliard! His name is Porko Galliard, sir!" exclaimed the camera guy, more scared than a cornered rat. Despite the bewilderment that statement caused in Eren, he did not let go.

"Who the fuck is that Galliard guy?"

"I- I don't know, sir. He only told me to follow you all day, sir. But don't hurt me, please, or my mom will kill me if she sees me get home all beaten up..."

Thoughtful, Eren let go. But he did not get out of the way, letting the kid know he still could not leave.

"Are you sure you don't know anything?" he asked, with the same threatening tone as before. The boy shook his head vehemently.

"I know nothing about him. Nothing at all. I swear," the boy cried, joining both hands, his eyebrows meeting in an angsty expression. "I was leaving school when he approached me on the street and asked me if I wanted to earn a few cents. I said yes, and ... Here I am. But I swear I don't know him, sir. Neither him nor you."

"How long have you been in this stupidity about chasing me?"

The boy swallowed again.

"Two days."

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen, sir."

The expression that was drawn this time on Eren Jaeger's face was pure and cold disdain. Then he took his wallet out of his pocket to give that brat three bills that would end up being a generous sum for a boy like him.

"Whoever it is, tell them you haven't seen me. I'll give you more if you find out who that bastard is. I guess after two days of chasing me, you know where to find me, right?"

"Y- Yes, sir. T-Thank you very much ... And I'm so sorry ..."

Eren said nothing. But the gesture on his face was enough for that scared little rat to know that his apologies were not welcome, and that the young adult in front of him did not want to see him anymore.

Then he ran, away from the parking lot, leaving his camera behind to avoid having to deal with the brown-haired scanty-bearded man. Pissed off, Eren picked up the object from the floor and returned to his car, on his way to the mall, hoping his demons had calmed down before he saw Mikasa.

He just did not think it was normal or pleasant to know that someone unknown was spying on him.

Who the hell was Porko Galliard and what did he want from him?

.

When Eren crossed the corridor that led to the clothing store where Sasha worked, he could not help but smile as he remembered that more than a year ago, he and Mikasa had met in a not very pleasant way in that place, and that very day he had ended with a broken nose, after behaving like a complete brainless idiot. Shaking his head at the memories, the boy entered the establishment, turning his eyes towards the inside of the place in search of his girl. However, he did not expect to bump into a short young woman, and make her purchase bags fall to the ground. Eren hurried to help the girl, who smiled at the face of someone who so kindly handed her the last paper bag.

"I'm sorry. I didn't notice where you came from," he apologized, distracted, with hungry eyes in search of Mikasa. The girl in front of him seemed to pay no attention to that little detail.

"No big deal. It was an accident. Hey, you have pretty eyes. Can I have your number?" asked the rainbow-haired stranger. Eren was about to answer, but a warm, familiar hand with black enamel-painted fingernails stretched up to his shoulder to get his attention, while a pair of gray eyes cast a murderous glare at the girl who had asked for the number , accompanied by a subtle, scathing smile.

"You can have mine. I'm his girlfriend," Mikasa intervened out of nowhere with a cutting voice, drilling the unknown woman with sharp eyes. In turn, and with great disappointment, the other girl stretched her lips in a bitter smile.

"Ah ..." she gasped with dignity, arching an eyebrow. "In that case ... Goodbye ..." she said, wiggling her hips with a so feigned arrogance that made Mikasa snort until she heard the end of the sentence. "Bitch."

"Excuse you?"

"How did you call her?" Eren bellowed, holding his girlfriend before she could act. And although the stranger turned her head towards them, she had already gone far enough to avoid being reached, in case Mikasa wanted to charge her for the offense. All she did was raise her middle finger in an offensive gesture, with a smile that had gone from bitterness to mockery, and then she left, while Eren contained his girl's burning impulse to go after that shameless one and give her what she deserved.

"Hey, hey. She's not worth it, ok?" He said in a calm voice, massaging the arms of the angry woman in front of him. Eren made his girlfriend look at him, sliding his index finger under her chin. "I heard what she said, but we can't start a fight here where Sasha works, right? Let her go."

Eren winked at her and she nodded as she felt her boyfriend's thumb on the tip of her nose in a fleeting touch.

"It's okay."

"Hey, I'm yours. Don't forget that."

The smile that was drawn on Mikasa's lips was inevitable. Eren kissed her there, wrapping her arms around her waist before a tough voice interrupted them.

"Oi, oi! You guys find a hotel, okay? Do you want Petra to fire me because you two can't hold yourselves back?"

Sasha's complaint only caused her friends to laugh when they stepped back. Eren made his fist clash with the brown-haired girl's.

"Hello, Sash."

"Who would say that I could stop hating you, Eren. You were so annoying that I would have wanted Mikasa to punch that handsome face of yours every single day."

Eren laughed at the girl's comment. Mikasa shook her head.

"Sasha..."

"I'm only telling the truth, Mikasa. Now get out, or Petra will scold me for not attending the customers."

"Hey, I'm a customer!" Eren complained. Sasha frowned.

"It's not true. You only came for your girlfriend. Now fuck off, both of you. And don't come for me tonight, Mika. Connie will pick me up," Sasha announced, walking them to the exit while her best friend nodded in response.

"See you then, Sash," Mikasa said, waving her hand as she left. Sasha followed suit.

"Bye, Sasha," Eren said as he took his girlfriend by the hand. The brown-haired girl went back to work with a mocking smile as she tilted her head and lost sight of them. They both walked to the Mall parking lot with quick steps, before getting caught in the midday traffic on the avenue.

"Eren, what's this?" Mikasa asked as she got in the vehicle, holding in her hands the camera that rested in the passenger seat. Eren sighed and shook his head as he remembered the event a few minutes ago. The doors closed and the boy lit the car on the way to Carla's house.

"A while ago I experienced the strangest thing in my life," he commented. The white BMW mingled between the row of cars rolling on the road. Mikasa looked at him strangely and waited for his explanation, worrying when she heard that story, with the camera still in her hands as she heard what his boyfriend had to say about the event with the spy guy.

Frowning in amazement, the girl blinked several times.

"Porko Galliard? Do you know that person?"

"Not at all," Eren replied with displeasure, stopping the car at a red light. "I've never heard of someone with that name."

"Not even from a schoolmate who just wants to... I don't know, maybe bother you?" Mikasa insisted. Eren shook his head vehemently, tilting his head to look toward the red light that was beginning to blink on the corner of the highway. "Hmm ... It's strange. But I'll ask Levi about this; maybe he can help us."

Eren snorted loudly.

"Are you serious, Mikasa? Your brother fucking hates me. Is it that you're gonna ask him: ' _Hey, my boyfriend has a problem with someone who's chasing him. Could you help us find that person?_ ' Aren't you, right? You won't do something like that at all."

"Hey, sarcasm is not necessary, okay?" she replied, rolling her eyes slightly. "And no, I don't have to tell him that this is about you to ask for help."

The moment the rays of the summer sun filtered through the co-pilot's window and clouded Mikasa's eyes, a tinge of tension settled over Eren as he turned the car to the left. Both had been silent, but that block of uncomfortable stillness did not last long.

"In regard to that, I think it's time, Mikasa."

The girl turned her head towards him with raised eyebrows, somewhat bewildered.

"Time for what?"

"You know, time for your brother to know what's with us."

Eren heard her sigh, but he did not look at her. His eyes were fixed on the road.

"No way."

"Why not? We've been together for almost nine months, Mikasa. It's too much to keep hiding."

"Because not, period."

This time, he did not stop to watch her either, but he knew well that she was avoiding him, looking through the glass.

"Don't be ridiculous. Are you ashamed to be with me? Do you feel embarrassed to tell your brother that you're dating someone like me?"

"What? No. You're talking nonsense."

"Then tell me, why can't you tell him we're together?"

"Because not, Eren. Cut it off."

Frustrated, the boy hit the steering wheel, eyebrows meeting in a upset expression that made his girlfriend shudder. There were few times that Mikasa had seen him angry, and they had not been with her. However, the girl just observed his movements sideways, pretending indifference.

"Give me a damn reason why your brother shouldn't know about this, Mikasa."

"Knock it off, Eren. It doesn't matter now."

"How couldn't ..." Eren bit his lip to keep from talking. "Okay... I'ts okay," he was pissed off, visibly pissed, and Mikasa knew it. She felt the instant he held the steering wheel again, holding it so hard that his knuckles turned white and the veins of his hands popped out.

The most curious thing about the whole sight was the fact that the silver-eyed girl did not dislike what she saw at all. Out of the corner of her eye, Mikasa could see the tense muscles beneath her boyfriend's skin, and the way his breathing cut through the air as it left his nostrils and his chest widened to calm his growing anger. His brown hair, now pulled back in a bun, showed the jaw movement when the boy gritted his teeth, as if trying to cut the skin off his chin.

Then the girl did not know if the heat had become unbearable from one moment to another, or if her body simply overheated at the spectacle of unscrupulous anger that her eyes admired. Having bitten her lower lip with a little more force, Mikasa would have unconsciously caused herself a wound. Her nervous system was declared on the verge of collapse.

"Levi is violent, Eren," she declared a couple of minutes later, as if she wanted to atone for her guilt. "He beat you once and I don't want him to do it again, that's all."

Eren shook his head in annoyance.

"That's not a valid excuse. I don't think he wants to beat me again just because I'll face him. I'm fucking sick of this, Mikasa. Sick of not being able to stay with you a while longer when we said goodbye; of having to leave you in the corner of the street where you live so that your brother doesn't see me, or have to wait until you can escape so he doesn't ask you shit. Do you understand that?" he exclaimed, looking into her eyes with a flame in his pupils that burned inside, right through his skeleton. "I'm fucking sick."

Eren looked back to the front, leaving a perplexed and bewildered Mikasa by his side, who preferred to be silent ... At least for a few seconds.

"Why are you so upset all of a sudden?" she asked a while later. Eren was slow to answer.

"Dunno."

The boy's voice was as sharp as the speed of the vehicle under his hands. The speedometer needle began to move fast to the right, alerting the dark-haired girl.

"Eren, slow down, please."

"That wasn't what you said last night, Mikasa."

That phrase triggered certain memories that sent an electric and violent impulse through Mikasa's entire nervous system. Then she looked at him and saw him stretch the corner of his mouth, however, she was not sure if that gesture had been a crooked smile, or simply a grimace of discomfort.

Their breathing thickened as if they were yelling at each other from a long and unbearable distance. Mikasa wished fervently to take the reins of that moment and be able to show him the red lace underwear she wore under her clothes after buying it for him.

"Eren," She called him, facing forward, like him.

"What do you want?" he replied harshly.

"Fuck me. Hard."

The BMW stopped suddenly, and only the safety belts around them could avoid an imminent blow. Eren looked dizzy, and oxygen had gathered in his throat.

"W-What ..." he stuttered, swallowing. "Mikasa, what the ...?"

"You heard it," the girl replied in the same tone, turning her eyes towards the window to avoid her boyfriend's eyes who were now drilling her, amazed. Eren shook his head in an attempt to get out of his astonishment.

"Fuck ... Right now?"

"Right now."

Mikasa's statement was fair enough. Eren blinked several times in a row, the blood invading every corner of his body in an accelerated frenzy of sensations, and he relit the car, hands trembling and heavy breathing.

"Where are we going?"

"Don't speak," Eren's voice sounded so rude and bossy that Mikasa did not dare say another word for the rest of the trip. It had not been his intention to be so rude, but she did not know that her voice drove him nuts, and that if she made a single sound again, Eren would probably lose his sanity and the trip would end in catastrophe.

In a matter of minutes, the white car passed through the gates of the Jaeger residence and hid in the parking lot, just as Carla spotted her son's vehicle getting lost in the house right wing. Eren undid the belt that bound him to the seat and pushed himself against his girlfriend with demanding lips and demanding spirit, with the desire bubbling in his womb until scoring madness, taking her by surprise, but not without being well received by those pale arms in whose skin he had tattooed himself dozens of times that summer. Mikasa moaned impatiently at the collapse of their mouths and was stripped of her clothes with enough violence to fan the desire that consumed her veins like a burning bush. She knew it; she knew well that her statement had awakened a kind of beast in Eren that she did not know or wanted to control, and while she was prey to him, she discovered how much she had been desiring this fierceness and debauchery. Crazed and indomitable, Eren plunged into her with arrogance, triumphant, eager, snatching from her esencial gasps and sighs, rumbling inside her as he whispered praises in her sensibility, tucked between her legs, officiating a wild love that shook the car fibers. Mikasa's hands slid down his back and butt to push him further inside herself as their skins slid sweaty, with playful tongues and hellish and wicked thrusts that marked and tensed to the last of their bones, with insatiable bites and twisted passions. Eren clung to the door handle, avoiding to break the fragile-looking skin of his girlfriend, although she would gladly have allowed him to rip her heart out in each one of his crashes. They both looked into each other's eyes with a deranged tenderness, their bodies full of blood, like maddened demons who moved their hips to find and trap their sexes in an inhuman way, into a hard, repeated and constant dance.

 

He burned himself inside her hellish fire when she made him fall on his back, being on top of him, riding him with a fierce and consuming energy. The gray mixed with the green, with fulminant irises and cores filled with fire and dark desires and enormous forces. The bodies recognized each other again, and he filled her with his longings, holding her hips, going in and out stubbornly, as if seeking death and life at the same time. Eren marked her skin again, with his teeth and his hands, and Mikasa marked his, with her smell and her nails, in a mixture between love and pain that both found pleasingly delightful. They listened to their breaths and their unruly beats; they tasted the glory of a ravaging and reckless sex, fucking and destroying each other, moaning breathless, sobbing with pleasure until Love died of jealousy, swifting positions once again, because only thus, on top of her, Eren could kiss her at will, her lips and neck, while whispering delights in her ear, fucking her as if it were the last time, profaning her with his tongue and his fiery flesh.

 

And they could have peaked gloriously, but for the door that opened at their feet and left them stunned.

Carla was standing outside the car, open-mouthed at the shameful image her eyes were discovering: They were naked, her son enclosed between Mikasa's legs and his taut butt, with the girl beneath him, covered only by the bra that in her amorous worries they had had time to pull up. Now the mother understood why her son's car was moving so much, and the portrait was as outrageous as it was unbelievable.

Mikasa wanted the ground to swallow her and Eren preferred to stay where he was so that he could cover her from his mother's eyes. Carla reacted and looked away from them, massaging the bridge of her nose to regain the composure she had lost when she opened the car door.

"Get dress," pronounced the woman harshly. "I'll wait for you in the living room."

It was not a request. It was an order.

Eren pulled out of his girlfriend and saw her put her hands to her face in despair, her cheeks dyed bright red and eager to disappear from the earth's surface.

Nothing could be worse than being caught by her mother-in-law during the sexual act.

"Here. Wear this," Eren said, handing her his own shirt after noticing he had left hers without buttons in one of his unbridled impulses. She got dressed as decently as possible, but her body did not obey her willingness to get out of the car.

"I'm sorry," she said while looking at the floor. Eren's naked torso still had remnants of sweat caused by their sweating session.

"Sorry? Why do you apologize for?"

"Because I caused this ..."

Eren let out a mocking laugh and hugged her.

"Mikasa, you need two to dance tango. Did you do it alone?" Mikasa shook her head in response. "All right. Then let's go inside; we can stand mom."

"I'm embarrassed, Eren."

The boy's lips pressed against his girl's forehead this time.

"You'll see that it won't be so bad."

Mikasa pouted and raised her eyebrows with forced resignation.

"I doubt it. Carla scolds like Molly Weasley, except that your mother is not a witch."

Mikasa's comment won the loudest laugh from Eren. It was then when he pulled her arm out of the car.

"Let's go, before she comes for us again."

Both went out laughingly, and in the same reluctant way made their entrance into the living room with lazy steps and not daring to look at the woman who was waiting for them in the armchair facing the threshold. The girl was trying to walk normally, despite how sensitive her crotch was after that. Faye ran to her nanny to greet her with a kiss, and then to her older brother, as she soon noticed Eren's naked torso and the shirt Mikasa wore.

"Mika, why are you wearing my brother's shirt? ..."

"Faye, to your room. Now," Carla's voice rose demandingly throughout the room. The girl gasped.

"But I was just- "

"To your room, Faye. I won't say it again."

Carla was angry, and nobody wanted to see her even more angry. The girl left and walked upstairs, all downcast, and her mother only spoke again when her footsteps were heard no more.

Mikasa was impatiently moving her right leg, waiting for an insightful reprimand.

Eren was preparing himself psychologically to listen to his mother's sharp and annoying complaints.

"How? How dare you two do something like that? Do you think you are still teenagers?" that was the first thing the brown-haired woman said when she stood up, her eyes hammering at the couple in front of her.

"Mom-"

"Don't tell me a thing, Eren. Save yourself the explanations because I saw clearly what you were doing with these eyes that are to be worm-eaten," As Carla spoke, Mikasa's shame grew, and she could not take her eyes off the ground. "I understand that you guys have sex; That's not something I like to intervene in, but it was not necessary that way. Right in the garage, where anyone can enter at any time without warning. What the hell were both of you thinking?" Carla put her hands to her face, outraged. "No, don't tell me. You were not really thinking clearly, because if you were, you wouldn't have done what you did."

"Carla, please ... It's not that bad, is it?"

Eren's intervention seemed to increase his mother's anger.

"Wasn't it that bad? It could be your sister and not me the one who found you, Eren! Or your father! You're no longer children, for God's sake. You are twenty, both of you! Mikasa, I thought you were the wise one, my child. How is it possible that you let yourself be convinced by Eren?"

Mikasa winced at the mention of her name. And despite that, she was not able to look up from the floor to explain herself.

"Indeed, Carla, it wasn't Eren the one who- "

"You're right, mom. She shouldn't have listened to me," Eren pronounced, before Mikasa could take the blame. His girlfriend watched him with wide eyes and a ' _why the hell did you do that_?' written in her eyes.

"Eren, I don't want to see something like that again, do you hear me? Your sexuality is not something I'm supossed to witness. And I hope that at least you're being safe, if you don't want Mikasa's brother to kill you."

Carla snorted, as if that could end her scolding. Eren and Mikasa nodded vehemently and suffocated; wasn't there a time machine for them to be able to avoid that catastrophe?

"Yes ma'am," the boy said in a low voice. Carla shook her head and wrinkled her face.

"And you had better go, Eren. I don't want you to be around after something like that while Mikasa takes care of Faye. Understood?"

"Mom, we're not going to ..."

"Understood, Eren?" the mother bellowed, her eyes burning in her glare. Her son seemed to shrink in his place, but ended up nodding. "Mikasa, what happened to your clothes?"

Silence.

"I teared it up," Eren replied.

"Oh good Lord. Give me patience," Carla replied, her hands on her head. "Daughter, go to my room and take something you can use. That shirt is too big for you."

"Yes ma'am."

Mikasa soon left the room and went upstairs, leaving behind her mother-in-law's voice who continued scolding Eren and vanished as she walked away. The drowned and shy cry of a girl with brown hair and long braids approached her in the middle of the corridor.

"So you and Eren were making babies in his car, right? That's why Mom scolded you!" exclaimed the girl in a whisper, frowning with a mischievous smile drawn on her lips, leaning forward and pointing to her babysitter with her index finger. Alarmed, Mikasa grabbed her by the hand to move her away, in case someone happened to come up.

"Faye, where do you get that from? Were you eavesdropping?!" Mikasa's accusation caused a guilty smile on the girl. "Don't do that again."

"It was what mom said: something about sexuality. That's making babies. That's what Falco's older brother told us when we went to his house. His friend Porko and he began to laugh when we asked them. And they just said that's how babies were made ..."

One word was enough for Mikasa to look again at the girl before entering the master bedroom to look for some clothes.

"What?"

"They said that- "

"No, no, no," the babysitter insisted, interrupting the girl. "What did you say about Falco's brother? About his friend ... What's his name?"

"Porko. It sounds like pork," Faye mocked, letting out a loud laugh that made her look like Eren. However, Mikasa did not laugh with her. She was more interested in the name she had just heard and its connection to what Eren had told her earlier.

"Hmm ... By chance ... do you know what that Porko's last name is?"

"No. I dunno," Faye replied, shrugging. "Why do you want to know that?"

The nanny shook her head.

"Nothing. Don't listen to me. Now go out for a moment while I change my clothes, okay?"

Faye nodded and left, most likely to continue snooping on the conversation between her mother and her older brother. Mikasa knew that she had to tell Eren what she had just heard; because, how many people could have such a particular name in a city like Trost? Few, no doubt. And if it was Porko himself, it was better to find it out as soon as possible.

Especially because neither of them had any idea what the hell anyone could want about following Eren.

But the chaser's business would not be enough reason to distract them from the shame they both felt of looking Carla in the eye again. Both Eren and she would take a long time to recover, before remembering what happened and laughing out loud. However, they could not complain; After all, they would not be twenty forever.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Tamara, say: 'Mika' ..."

Mikasa was playing with Tamara, both of them seated on a colored matting, throwing a small ball between them over and over again. At eight months of age, Levi and Hanji's daughter babbled her first words, and her proud aunt was determined to make her speak before any other member of the family. It was Sunday. Captain Ackerman had decided to do the laundry that day, rather than spend hours doing nothing, while his wife ordered food at home. Sasha was working, and Mikasa took care of her niece, enjoying the few days left for the summer.

"Da!" the baby exclaimed when her beautiful gray eyes saw her dad's silhouette crossing into the kitchen with a basket of clothes in his hands.

"No, Tam. Mika. Say: 'Mika'."

"Da!"

Tamara threw the ball again and laughed when she saw her toy bounce off her aunt's head. Mikasa sighed.

"Bad baby," she mocked, with an expression of fake tiredness. "Say: 'Mika'. Mee- kah- sah."

"Da ... Da-ddy!"

"No. It's 'Mika'. You won't say my name, will you, Tamara?" she asked in frustration. Tamara shook her head, as if making fun of her. But in reality, the baby always shook her head when she heard the word 'No'. Hanji's laughter, who watched everything from the stairs, was heard in the living room. "I give up on you, damn it."

"Dammit!"

"But... what the...?!"

When Tamara repeated her aunt's last sentence, Levi magically appeared in the room, glaring at his younger sister with his steely gaze, while Hanji and Tamara's laughter invaded the entire house.

"What are you teaching her?" the captain asked, with that threatening expression drawn on his face. Mikasa shook her head quickly, her eyes wide open and ready to excuse herself.

"I'm not ... Tamara, are you serious?" she asked with disappointment, looking at the baby, who crawled to where she was to take the ball from her aunt's hands. "Levi, I taught her something else, but she only said what she wanted to."

"Tch. You better be, brat. I don't want that child cursing again."

"She inherited her sassiness from the Ackerman side!" Hanji said, chuckling, entering the room to raise the baby and give her a bottle. Levi frowned, pretending discomfort. Mikasa nodded and giggled, as her brother fumbled in the pockets of her pants before throwing them in the washing machine. The girl was distracted by ordering Tamara's toys when Levi raised his voice, holding a small box of pills in his hand.

"Four Eyes, is this yours?" he asked, pointing to the trousers he held in hand. "They were in Mikasa's room ..."

"Huh?" Hanji gasped with Tamara in her arms, shaking her head immediately in denial. "Why do you ask?"

"I found this in the pockets. Were not these the pills you were taking before Tamara?"

"Yes, but I have not taken them for a long time."

Silence.

Mikasa looked at them with pale lips and a motionless face since her eyes had seen the box of pills. Levi's steel eyes turned to his younger sister when he realized what was happening, and there was nothing to say, except from his disappointment and indignation glares.

"Tell me this is not yours, Mikasa," Levi grunted, as if the words dragged from his throat in an attempt to leave. But there was no answer, and that was all the annoying confirmation Levi Ackerman needed to sigh as deep as possible and contain his desire to beat a certain someone.

Mikasa closed her eyes and felt her body descend with the weight of irremediable gravity, which seemed to drag her into an abyss of self-regret, for not having taken the pills out of her pants pocket.

But how could she predict that her brother would take her clothes from her room to wash them? That was not something that happened very often ...

And ironically, it had to happen the same day she had forgotten to keep her contraceptives somewhere else.

"Mikasa, tell me you're not fucking this hobo..."

"He's not a hobo. His name is Eren. And what if I do it or not? I'm twenty, Levi; I'm not a kid."

The laundry basket was dropped on a stool, but the captain's right hand did not let go of the small box. Hanji watched the scene with tense anticipation, knowing she could not intervene in any way.

"Do you think that because you know how to wipe your ass you're already an adult, Mikasa? What makes you think that?"

Levi's voice was about to become raspy, like every time he tried to contain a bubbling rage. Emboldened, Mikasa frowned, ready to face him.

"Do you think that being my older brother gives you the right to control what I do, Levi? No. You're not Dad or Mom, so I don't have to give you any explanations of my damn private life. So forget about it."

"You don't have to?" There was that raspy tone in Levi's voice that made even a stone shudder. That was the last straw. "Tell me who the fuck raised you, Mikasa! Tell me who took care of you when they died! How's it that you now have sex with the first good-for-nothing bum who crosses your path without having an idea of who he is, or what he wants with you?"

"You say that I have no idea who he is?" Mikasa's voice also rose, at the same time that she stood up from the ground. "He's my boyfriend, Levi. I love him..."

The girl's statement was cut off by a scary snort. Levi approached her, squeezing the contraceptive box tightly.

"You," the captain thundered, pointing her with his index finger. "You're a spoiled brat. Twenty years are nothing. You don't know a single thing about love, don't talk nonsense. You must mature first before talking about a word as big as that."

Mikasa's hands trembled. They trembled with anger like never before.

That was also her last straw.

"So I am a spoiled brat? Do you think that, Levi?" She also approached him. "What are you talking about? What right do you think you have to affirm that I am a brat and that I know nothing about love? I'm not a brat as you say. I'm a woman. A woman who has seen death and pain and loss," Maybe, Mikasa Ackerman had never raised her voice like she was raising it this time. Perhaps Mikasa Ackerman had never used her height as an advantage to prevail over her older brother, although that did not have any effect on him. But she did, with shaking fists and her voice hanging by a thread that threatened to break. "I'm a woman who was forced to understand what death was at a young age. I saw my parents, your parents, be killed in front of me, and you say I know nothing about love, Levi?"

When the thread broke, the tears that rushed into girl's eyes came out with impertinence, gliding boastfully over her cheeks to die on the floor. Hanji watched the siblings at a prudent distance, her eyes fixed on her husband, and her ears attentive to her sister-in-law raw and accurate words; then she saw the girl wipe away her tears and continue, with as much dignity as possible. Fortunately, Tamara seemed oblivious to that discussion.

"You say I know nothing about love, but I had to see blood running between my feet as I felt my life end at that moment. You say I know nothing, but you don't know that the one you despise now is the one that brought me back to life when I met him, and now you accuse me for loving a man who saved me from the nothing when I was nothing! Levi, you were not there. You weren't there when Mom and Dad died. You weren't there when I lost my will to live, nor when I started to walk again out of sheer inertia, but he did. You didn't notice a thing, brother. And I know you love me, but you were too busy trying to solve a crime that has no solution. You were very busy and I don't blame you, but don't try to stop me from living my life and feeling what I feel. I love that man you call good-for-nothing, because he saved me in every way possible when no one else did, and because he has such a huge heart that the whole world would fit in his chest. It's you the one who knows nothing; Not a single thing. I love Eren hopelessly, and there is nothing that can change that."

As if she had removed an old and annoying weight from her, Mikasa sighed wearily at the conclusion of her speech. She pulled away from her brother and avoiding Hanji's gaze, took her bike keys before walking to the door.

Noticing his younger sister's movements, Levi came out of the realization trance in which Mikasa's statement had drowned him. Because, like it or not, she was right ...

"Mikasa, come back here!" he shouted, before she disappeared behind the door, walking away. "Mikasa!"

"Let her go, Levi. She needs to be alone, and I think you do too, love," announced the woman with glasses, standing with the baby in her arms to go kiss her husband. "Tamara and I will be up, okay?"

"But she ..." although Levi did not want to admit it, his voice had also broken and his eyes were full of tears, wondering if in fact he had been so lost in himself for so long, that he had abandoned his younger sister.

Hanji kissed him again on the forehead and Tamara did the same on his father's cheek when she took the bottle out from her own mouth.

"She'll come back. She just need some time away from you, just like you from her, okay?"

Levi nodded. The contrition on his face and the troubled gray eyes made him look ten years younger than he was. His wife and daughter were lost from his sight up the stairs, and a corner of his brain thought he had been very lucky to find someone like Hanji Zoe.

Maybe he just needed to open up a little more and understand that Mikasa was no longer a girl, and that she had every right to rebuild her life ...

But he did not like that the Jaeger surname was included in that equation. It was clear that his sister still needed to find out about a couple of things, but he was not sure he wanted to destroy her by telling her what she must surely know someday.

Levi Ackerman was now facing a crossroads.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kenny had broken out.

 

Kenny Ackerman had escaped from Trost Maximum Security Prison, and there was only one possible way in which something like this could happen.

 

Someone had helped him. Someone who moved stealthily and silently within the police with enough power to free a convict without making a fuss. Levi felt like the greatest of useless, especially because they had managed to capture John Leonhardt and in spite of everything, there was no human power to make him spit out the information he possessed. John could not talk; He had been a bad father, perhaps the worst of all, but he knew that if he opened his mouth, his only daughter would not live to tell it. The captain's threats had no effect, nor his blows, which he gave him in a fit of rage before being stopped by Commander Dawk. Almost eight years ago, John Leonhardt and Zeke Jaeger had jointly participated in the murder of Samuel and Tamara Ackerman, leaving as the only witness a 12-year-old girl who could not see their faces and who, therefore, was not able to testify against. Zeke Jaeger, being 20 years back then, little or nothing knew about the crime masterminds, but the fault fell on him as young and inexperienced, leading him to serve three years of sentence behind bars, while the real murderers remained free after fleeing from Shiganshina.

Levi Ackerman was beginning to lose his mind and the little patience he was born with.

 

Commander Smith would travel back to Trost to find a way to get Leonhardt all the necessary information, without Leonhardt feeling threatened. But neither he nor Captain Ackerman could imagine how close they were to an elusive traitor who had emerged from the shadows and now watched his movements.

 

However, it would not take long to discover the truth.

.

.

Mikasa crossed her arms against her chest as she entered her brother's office. With his usual teacup in his hand, Levi took a sip as he watched her blankly, kicking one of the chairs in front of his desk for her to take a seat.

"Sit down," he ordered in a firm voice. Mikasa obeyed, though scornfully, because she had no humor to contradict him. "Want something to drink, brat?"

"Water it's fine."

Levi dialed the telephone extension to his secretary. A minute later, Mikasa held a glass of water that she quickly drank.

"All right. I'll get to the point, Mikasa. I called you because I want you to know what I've been doing since last year when they moved me here to Trost. I decided to remove our parents' case, and I've been investigating ever since."

Mikasa did not say a word, but Levi did not expect her to do it either. Captain Ackerman waited for his younger sister to digest the information so that he could continue; She looked out the window absentmindedly, and the late summer sun reflected in her gray eyes after striking against the glass, making her blink.

Levi knew that the girl's mind was doing everything possible to erase memories of that night from her mind. And he knew it only because he had tried the same with no success.

"And what did you achieve with that? Is that what will bring them back?"

Mikasa's voice was haughty, demanding and hurtful. Her eyes did not deign to look at those of her older brother. Levi sighed and shook his head slightly.

"It won't bring them back to life, Mikasa. But I'll do justice for both of them. We already captured one of them, and the other paid his sentence several years ago; we just need to know who was the mastermind behind it."

This time, the girl seemed interested in the new information she was listening to. However, she could not prevent the bile from accumulating in the pit of her stomach before the memories of that December night.

"And ... who were those people?"

As always, Levi refrained himself from making detours.

"John Leonhardt was one of them."

The girl's eyes stopped at the captain's when he heard the name. There was silence. Mikasa closed her hands in fists that marked her veins because of the force she squeezed them with, and Levi noticed, but he said nothing about it.

"All this time ..." she said, her voice choked by the impact. "All this time and that man was free …" Mikasa put her fingers to her mouth with unpleasant astonishment, and her brother knew she needed to recover from that. "Did Annie know?" she asked sharply, frowning, with hints of tears crowding in her eyes.

"She didn't. I would have arrested her if it was like that. She's older than you and old enough to answer before the law for hiding something like that."

The captain took another sip of tea. His younger sister looked at the floor, nervously playing with the fringes of the little bag she had slung over her shoulder.

"Who is ... the other person?" she asked, eyes closed a while later, playing with bitterness in her memory the events of seven winters ago.

Levi sighed. He was not sure he wanted to strike next; that was a truth her sister did not want or deserve to hear. No, when that truth involved the girl's boyfriend. Whether Eren knew the truth about it or not, that was something the captain preferred to take as a negative. Otherwise, Eren Jaeger would have to face the wrath of Levi Ackerman if he were to hurt Mikasa in any way.

"His name is..."

Saved by the Bell. Or rather, by the sound of the door when someone knocked it from outside.

But who had been saved? He, from having to say the cumbersome truth? Or his sister from having to listen to it?

"Captain?" said a youthful voice from the outside.

"Come in," Levi replied to his subordinate, who entered immediately with a sealed portfolio in his hand. The young policeman was red-haired, with a stern expression, snub-nosed and a military haircut. Mikasa had seen him before, but she had never noticed him; that was the kind of guy she would never trusted in.

"This has just arrived, sir. And the folder next to this contains the documents of yesterday's case," The boy said, ignoring the captain's sister. Mikasa, with her back to him, looked out the window with an absent expression.

"Thank you, Galliard. You can leave."

"Yes, sir."

The redheaded policeman turned to leave.

Mikasa Ackerman turned to look at him when she heard his last name.

"What's your name?" the girl asked suddenly. The captain and his subordinate stared at her without understanding her actions.

"Galliard. Porko Galliard."

"Hmm. Galliard," she repeated. The tension could be smelled in the environment that Levi's tea had already impregnated. "You're a cop. You should know that spying on a person's private life is a crime punished in this country with three years in prison; Am I wrong?"

Galliard seemed to pale, but he was adept at hiding his nervousness by frowning.

"I don't understand what you mean, miss."

"Mikasa, what the heck ..." Levi was abruptly ignored.

"I think you know it. The name Eren Jaeger must be very familiar to you."

Silence.

"Excuse me, but ..."

"You sent someone to follow him and take pictures of him. Even I am in them. I revealed each and every one, and the person you sent told us your name. Will you deny it in front of the Trost police captain? I think you committed a serious law infraction and I'd like to know why."

Galliard sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose, fully aware that the girl in front of him was glaring at him.

"Excuse me, Captain," he said, looking at Levi "but I have no idea of what this lady is talking about."

Levi's steel eyes turned to his sister.

"Mikasa, what are you talking about?" he asked, before listening to the girl's explanation. Then he looked at his subordinate with a questioning and intimidating look. "Galliard, is that true?"

The red-haired policeman sighed before answering. Actually, he was gaining some time to think about a logical answer.

"Sir, I've told you that I don't know what you're talking about. There must be another person with my name who did that. I dot know who that Eren Jaeger is. Can I leave now? You know I have work to do," He declared cynically, ignoring the captain's sister's gray gaze on him. Mikasa did not believe what she was listening to.

"Are you serious...?"

"Mikasa," Levi interrupted her. "please. Let me solve this. And you, Galliard, get out. But you'll be questioned later about it."

"Yes sir. As you wish. Excuse me."

Levi grabbed his sister's hand before she could go after the guy. The door was closed shut, and Mikasa had to stay in place against her own will.

"He was lying. I know it. He was the one who sent that boy to spy on Eren. How many can there be in this city with that same name?"

The captain shook his head, vehemently breathing out.

"Mikasa, it's better for you to learn how to control your anger. This is a police headquarters and you're a civilian; You can be my sister, but you can't talk to an officer like that. I will investigate what's wrong about it, but you'll stay still, and the same goes for the hobo you've got as a boyfriend, is it clear?"

"Stop calling him names."

"And how do you want me to call the asshole that fucks my sister? Do you want me to congratulate him? Give him a prize?"

Mikasa squeezed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger.

"Levi, sarcasm is not necessary. And You. Don't. Need. To mention. That. Anyway, how does what I do or not affect you? I won't get pregnant, if that's what worries you."

Levi wrinkled his face in annoyance.

"Shut up. You should be ashamed for dating that dirty, good-for-nothing hobo."

"Please, let's not argue about this. Call him whatever the hell you want, but he's the one that I love, ok?"

"Well, you have very bad taste, sis. He was the worst man alive you could find. His friend, the blonde one, would have been a better match for you. At least he shaves and had the decency to cut his hair."

Mikasa stood up, with no intention of hiding her anger. Levi took a sip of his tea so carelessly that the girl felt a fist of irritation hit her insides.

"I came here to hear you insulting Eren or just to listen to what you've been hiding from me since you came to Trost?"

"I did it to protect your peace of mind, Mikasa. I won't give you any other reason."

"Of course not. You just have to insult someone who did you any harm, Levi. That's enough for you, right? I still don't get why you hate him so much."

There was silence in the captain's office. She could hear a telephone ringing on the outside, the slight brush of her brother's uniform when he crossed his legs again and then almost immediately stood up, resting his butt on the desk in order to get a better angle of the room and the girl. Levi sip his tea once again, and the words that escaped from his mouth gave the impression of having been held back for a considerable and stinging amount of time.

"Because that brat tries to snatch from me one of the most valuable things I've taken care of all my life."

Mikasa did not know whether to smile or shake her head. Levi had a very particular, unexpected and unpredictable way of showing affection to his family, and when that happened, it always attacked her by surprise, leaving her without a coherent reaction that she could fall back on.

When she was able to recover, the girl raised her head to her brother, crossing her platinum gaze with his.

"I know what you mean and ... I know you're worried because you're the oldest ... But Eren won't hurt me."

"Tch. Sure. How are you so sure about that?" the captain protested, with a deadpan mask on his face, finishing with the last drop of tea that remained in the cup.

"I... just know it."

Silence.

"He better behave. The time when I beat the shit out of him will be nothing compared to what I will give him if he gets to hurt you, you hear me?"

Mikasa snorted.

"Why do you always have to solve everything like this?"

"Because discipline and common sense are not learned through dialogue, but through blows."

"A while ago you told me that I must learn to control myself and now you say that things are taught to blows. Who the hell can understand you?"

"And you think that when I beat the shit out of someone, it's because I'm angry, Mikasa?" Levi growled mockingly and bitterly. "How little you know, brat. Anger is the last thing I feel when I punch a person."

"I don't believe you."

"That's your business."

Mikasa's phone ringtone interrupted the conversation loudly. When she answered, Levi could hear Eren's (irritating) voice from the other side of the line. The brown-haired boy had always been lectured by his girlfriend for not lowering his voice when he was on the phone.

_"Hello Beautiful. Should I pick you up at the station? Or are you using your bike?"_

Mikasa turned her back on her brother and spoke in whispers, as if that could hide Eren's call from him.

"I'm using my bike. No ... It's better if you don't come over. Levi's not in a good mood."

_"Okay. Armin and I will be at ..."_

"Give me that," Levi's order rumbled in the girl's ears the moment he snatched her cell phone from her hands and took it to his ear, not giving his sister time to react. "Listen to me carefully, dirty brat: take a single false step with my sister, and you'll deal with me, understood?"

_"Sir!"_ Eren shouted from the other side, his heart in his throat.

"Levi!" Mikasa tried to take the phone, but she didn't get it.

"Understood, Jaeger ?!"

_"Y-Yes, sir!"_

The phone returned to its owner. The Ackerman siblings glared at each other with burning rages.

"I'm sorry about that ... I'll call you back in a little while, okay?" the girl apologized. She heard Eren gasp before answering.

_"It's okay. I'll wait for you,"_ the boy replied, and the call ended. Mikasa took her backpack from the chair where she had left it and walked towards the door.

"Don't wait for me at home. I'll be back tomorrow," she announced, in a harsh and deep voice. Levi snapped his teeth in upset, frowning. He had been mad at her, but he knew that it was useless, since he had to wait for Mikasa to rebel against his authority in some way.

"If you're going to fuck today, at least tell that hobo not to leave marks on your neck. You're not a hussy, Mikasa," the captain said, pointing to the slightly purple trail of a hickey that triumphantly was marked on the skin of the girl's neck. By self-preservation and cheeks flushed bright, Mikasa brought her hand to the mark, and covered with her fingers the imprint of Eren's lips and teeth.

She had forgotten it was there.

"Bye."

The girl came out and the door was slammed shut. Levi shook his head, and swore that he had never wanted to ground his younger sister ever before than now.

When he checked the sealed briefcase that had arrived by mail, his heart beat so hard, he feared suffering from a heart attack. Nobody knew the contents of those files, until he noticed its sender.

The results of the final forensic mechanics exam were ready, after so many months. Footprints, car parts, pieces assembled in such a way that it would be difficult to recognize their place of origin, but there was the necessary information to continue advancing.

A secret factory that was part of something bigger, that no longer existed and, in spite of that, alarmed to the last of Captain Ackerman's nerves that late summer afternoon. Commander Erwin Smith was right in saying that the answers had probably been under their noses all this time.

 

Tybur and Co.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Faye was at school. Her older brother would pick her up that day to take her home, and her nanny would be there to take care of her in a couple of hours.

When Eren went to visit his mother on the last summer day, he never imagined finding one of the most shocking scenes of his short twenty years.

Carla was lying on the floor in her room, her eyes filled with tears, pressing against her chest her wedding photo, taken eighteen years ago, two years after the birth of the couple's firstborn son. Imagining the worst, the boy pounced on her and grabbed her arms with desperate eyes, trying to understand the cause of his mother's heartbreaking crying. The sight was paradoxical, somber, and also pitiful; because Carla Jaeger was a strong, inexorable woman, and her children never imagined seeing her broken, like a dry branch.

"Your father ... is gone."

It took Eren some time to process the information.

"What are you saying?" his mouth said involuntary and intermittent sounds, and his eyes traveled to the paper the woman held in her right hand. Eren did not have to read it, because when he noticed his father's handwriting on it and saw his mother's pain, he knew that it was a farewell letter.

 

A family breakdown is similar to falling into a bottomless pit, where cold air cuts to the marrow and bitters taste. It's similar to the bird that is left unprotected when the mother dies away from the nest; like losing oneself in the unruly current of a river that has no reverse and leads to the irreverent and unavoidable fall that drives to a very possible and frightful death, leaving the emptiness of the fall as the less frightening evil.

Not only Carla was broken. He was broken too.

His father had left. Just now, when things seemed to be better between them, his father abandoned them, him, Faye, his mother and Zeke.

Because no matter how many years passed, Eren was always going to love his father; Even when he did not know it, and even when he thought he hated him, he always wished he could be close to him and fill him with pride, like when he was a child.

But now everything vanished like smoke, just as his yearnings to recover the happiness of his childhood vanished, although his adult conscience had shouted a thousand times that it was not possible to live wanting the kindness of a past from long ago, a past that had been stained with mistakes and hurtful traces of a broken fatherhood. Eren saw his mother cry, and something inside him sank, not knowing that the worst was not happening yet.

His father's handwritting in another letter that carried his name on it alarmed him even more. The boy's hand reached for the bedside table next to his mother's bed to take the envelope, and underneath it he discovered one more, with his sister's name written on it.

Eren left the room, trembling hands and tired steps, via muscle memory, because he had no courage to remember where the door was. Hesitantly, his fingers opened the letter and his eyes traced the lines of an elegant, coarse and somewhat scribbled handwriting, so typical of a doctor.

 

_I was never the best father. But, you know it now._

_I would have liked to share more time with you, now that we seemed to get along. Ah, Eren, you are so stubborn and headstrong, my son; I would have given my life to see you continue the family trade. But seeing you become a responsible man made me forget my selfish desires, and I would be proud to see you fulfilling yours. I understood it late, but I understood it, at last._

_I know that you, your mother and your siblings are wondering why I left. And although I know it is not the best, there's no other way I can protect you from the mistakes I made in the past. This is something that I would not have dared to tell you personally, but I will say it._

_I am an accomplice in the murder of the Ackermans, Mikasa's parents._

 

Eren felt his body fall back into a hole of dense darkness. His brain trembled, distorted for a second, and it was difficult to recover from the blow his eyes read. His gaze, green and flickering, returned to the strokes that the ink had engraved on the paper.

 

_I had to hide the crime forensic evidence when the real killers threatened to take Zeke's life if I exposed them. Your brother also participated, but I know that his intention was not to kill anyone; he did not even touch the victims, and it was John Leonhardt and Kenny Ackerman who did all the dirty work, but they and their bosses left Zeke alone, taking advantage of how young he was, to avoid prison. And although I tried to unmask them, I had no choice but to cover them up when they threatened to kill my family. Now you will understand why Annie Leonhardt was close to you; It's very likely that her father sent her to keep an eye on me. Now you understand why your brother spent three years in prison, believing that I had betrayed him by not confessing what I knew; Now, my son, surely you understand many things that you did not understand before. I have kept this for a long time, but it is time to bring it to light and leave, before you all are affected by those people. I'm the only one who knows the evidence, I'm the only one who still has the weapons to expose them and make them rot in jail, but if I do, I could lose you all, and that's something I could not stand._

 

Eren ignored it, but the white sheet had traces of tears, and a couple of them had impacted on the ink, corroding it to turn some of the letters into thin black threads that slid down the paper when they were written.

 

And without noticing, his own tears mingled with his father's, as if they wanted to destroy that leaf.

 

_All the tests are hidden in my study. In the envelope you got this letter from, there is a small key that opens a hatch on the floor under the second shelf, where I grouped the neurology books. There are all the documents that reveal the culprits, the forensic exams and what is necessary for you to go with the police and hand over the guilty parties. I don't know how long I must be away, but I will do it until the danger passes. As long as I'm far away from home, nothing will happen to you. I ask you, my son, not to tell your mother anything about this; I don't know how she could take it and I could not stand it ... I ask for your forgiveness, your mother's and yours. Take care of your sister, Eren; keep being the responsible man you became, and make peace with Zeke. Your brother also needs you, now more than ever. Hand over the evidence as soon as you notice something suspicious nearby you. I know they are following us, but I can't say for sure._

 

_Don't hate me, son, even if I ask for an impossible, because I know that I've failed you many times and I don't deserve it._

 

_But it's your forgiveness all I can beg for._

 

_Grisha._

 

If Eren had ever felt unlucky, at that moment he was the most miserable being in the known universe.

Not only his brother, but also his father had let him down, turning his present into a black hole that seemed impossible to break free from. There were not enough words to describe the throbbing pain inside him, and the giant hand that lifted him up and crushed him to the ground, like a cruel child who makes of ants their most entertaining toy by destroying their colony in a hellish and thrilling impulse, roasting his heart with sadness, destroying the world around him without any mercy.

A corner of his brain wondered if that chain of misfortunes could someday end.

But deep down, he knew that was just the beginning.

 


	28. Liars can dream too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my dear hoe @MrsStampede on Tumblr for betareading this chapter. I love her

"You must know that I never wanted this, Eren."

Zeke Jaeger had never been more honest than when he talked to his siblings. There, behind the nightclub's bar and with Eren in front of him, the eldest son of Dr. Grisha Jaeger explained to his younger brother, in the best way he could, what had happened at the Ackerman house in the early morning of December 24, 8 years ago.

Eren deserved to know the truth, complete, straight, raw.

But he also deserved to know that his older brother, in spite of everything, was not a murderer. At least, not an intentional one.

"Yet you fucked my life. You and Grisha screwed up my life, Zeke."

Unwanted tears escaped despairingly from that pair of turquoise eyes that now looked anywhere but the man who shared blood with him. A river of helpless wrath was bubbling in the boy's marrow. His rage spilling and running down his face in a torrent of salty tears, instead of ending in his fists meeting his brother's face. Eren had always hated crying, but this time he could not help it.

Not now, when Mikasa's face, already etched in his pupils, slid between his brains as guilt gnawed at his insides. That was another fault he had to carry.

"And how would I know? How could I know that years later you were going to meet the daughter of these people and fuck her?"

Zeke's claim triggered a flash of pure furor, causing Eren to rise up from the chair where he sat and walk towards him. However, his older brother remained in place, not moving an inch.

"I don't fuck her, you hear me? I don't fucking know what you do to Pieck, but Mikasa is not just some fuck. I love her! Besides that, you should never have accepted, Zeke! That was low. It's beyond low to do shit like that; helping two assassins kill. And kill two innocent humans who never did a thing to you, no less!" his voice began to crack like dried leaves under a walker's steps. With his shirt sleeve, Eren dried the tears that so ruthlessly attacked him. "That doesn't make you any different from those who were behind all that shit. You're as guilty as they are ..."

Silence overflowed the vast room, assaulting the ears of the two beings who resided inside. Zeke removed his glasses to massage the bridge of his nose, and his younger brother pulled away from him. Eren put his hands on the edge of the bar, as if that could help ease his frustration.

"Do you think I would have agreed if I had known what I was getting into? Eren, my wife was about to die, a couple of days ago those bastards tried to kill us! She was about to lose our child! Do you think I wanted that? Do you think I have a better time than you? Don't be an asshole, little brother. I spent three years of my life in a damn prison and you cry because your girlfriend will be upset if you tell her the truth."

"It's not just a thing, damn it!" the brown-haired boy roared harshly, a green fire ablaze in his eyes. "It wasn't strangers who died, it was her parents! You helped kill them, and not just you but also Grisha! Don't tell me you have it better than me, don't be stupid and selfish, because you know I'm right."

The tension settled over them was as dense and almost palpable. In the midst of the ill-fated attempt at speaking with his baby brother, Zeke lit a cigarette. Intent on suppressing his disappointment and trying to ignore his brother's agitated and almost agonized breathing, who was snorting with anguish, still leaning on the bar.

Smoke flooded the place, and with a blank stare, Eren watched as the threads of cigarette smoke crossed the light and dissipated, vanished by the oxygen, just as his sanity vanished on the verge of despair.

His older brother spoke again, and pulled him out of his trance.

"We'll leave, Eren."

The turquoise-eyed boy raised his head slowly, as if his bones and muscles formed a heavy mass of uncomfortable flesh.

"What?"

Zeke left the cigarette in the ashtray, and the strand of smoke reflected in the glasses he had left on the bar.

"We will leave. Its no longer a safe place for Pieck or for me, and Levi told us that it was the best we could do."

"Then ..." Eren sighed, as if the air could replenish his soul from having received that unexpected blow. "So... you'll also leave Faye and me, just like Grisha did?"

"Eren, I can't stay. Just as you want to protect Mikasa from the truth because you love her, I must protect Pieck and my unborn child. Do you want me to stay to be killed?"

Eren snorted, looking away from his older brother, as tears gathered in his eyes again. On a sudden impulse, the boy kicked one of the stools, but Zeke ignored him.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't tell you."

Silence. A gust of late September air crept through the window, causing some of the glass goblets that rested in their case tightly, to screech and rattle.

"What will happen to the bar? To your house?" Eren asked without looking at him. Without much fuss or delay, Zeke took a set of keys from his right pocket and laid them on the bar, right next to the young man's hand.

"Both of them are yours now, or at least as long as I'm far from here. I have enough money to go elsewhere for a couple of years, or until the police can catch all those bastards. I'm just asking you to manage this well, Eren."

"But..."

"You're a grown man, you can deal with this. You're twenty years old and have a friend with Einstein's IQ, so I leave it in your hands. I couldn't trust my business to anybody else but you."

A couple of sighs rumbled off the walls, and grief clung to them.

A multitude of words that had to be said, but would never come to light, died on their lips.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. The flight departs at two in the morning."

A sarcastic whistle of astonishment came from Eren's mouth.

"So you have it all already planned, haven't you?"

"Technically."

"Fuck."

There was silence again. Zeke's cell phone rang and he answered seeing his wife's name on the screen. Pieck wanted to know if everything was ready for that night's trip. When the phone chat ended, the eldest of the Jaeger brothers fixed his eyes on the youngest and noticed that, between them, many years had gone unnoticed.

Zeke stood up, walked towards him and dropped a hand over his shoulder.

"No need to open today. I think you should take this night off."

"The customers will be waiting for me to open..."

Zeke shook his head and put his glasses back on.

"I'll call the employees and tell them we'll close for today. Rest well. You have worked hard, you deserve it. After all, tomorrow you'll be the manager and it won't be an easy job."

Eren looked at his brother and let out a wry smile.

"You can be a good big brother when you want to."

Zeke's eyes narrowed behind the glass of his glasses as he stretched the corners of his mouth.

"You know. I like you, brat."

The youngest of them dropped his head again, defeated.

"Fuck," He repeated, frustrated, breathing out hoarsely.

"What's wrong?"

"I'ma miss you, you damn beardie."

Zeke smiled again. And this time, his eyes were the ones filled with tears.

"And I'm going to miss you too, kid," He replied, with a goodbye pat on Eren's back.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yes. I'll call you when I get to the new place," Eren nodded. Zeke took his jacket, the keys to his car and left the bar to head for the door. "Eren."

"Yes?"

"Talk to Captain Ackerman. It's the best you can do."

"I will."

The golden-haired man with glasses nodded.

"See you soon, bro. Take care of Faye."

Eren shook his head in affirmation before watching Zeke disappear behind the door. The cigarette left behind was consumed amid threads of smoke that rose and infected the environment, plunging the boy into a cloud of hopelessness that overshadowed his reason.

In all possible futures, and even in the least catastrophic ones, Eren imagined the cruel misfortune of losing Mikasa.

And after so many catastrophes, he was not sure he could bear such a horrible fate.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Mikasa knew that feeling.

She knew it was the same one she had felt when she saw Faye sitting in front of the pool in the Jaeger's backyard, her arms wrapped around her legs and swaying back and forth as her eyes stared at the water moving carelessly in front of her, causing flashes when the rays of the mid-afternoon sun reflected off the small waves.

Because maybe an absent father was the same as a dead father.

"Hey," said the babysitter as she leaned towards the girl, after leaving a plate with cookies and a glass of milk on the beach table. However, Faye's eyes did not move towards her nanny; so, with patience, Mikasa sat next to her on the green grass, taking off her shoes so that she could dip her feet in the warm water of the pool. "You're not going to eat your snack?"

Faye shook her head.

"I'm not hungry."

"Why not? Wanna tell me?"

Mikasa's voice was sweet, honeyed and persuasive, although she didn't know it herself. Faye raised her head and turned it towards her nanny with gloomy eyes and weak spirit, and a few seconds passed before the girl could speak again.

"Did Daddy leave ... because he doesn't love us anymore?"

The dark-haired girl smiled sadly. With a deep sigh, she moved a little closer to Faye, watching the little girl hide her face again in the hollow of her arms as she hugged her knees.

"Faye, parents never stop loving their children. No matter what happens, they never do it."

The girl sighed and looked back at her babysitter. Her honey-colored eyes were the reflection of a dry and melancholic autumn arrival, whose brightness was dulled by the shadow of the tree that stood arrogantly above. Then she shook her head, letting her brown-colored braids slide on either side of her withered face.

"So why did he leave? Why did he abandon us?" Faye paused to hold back the sobs that threatened to burst from her throat. "Mom cries every day since he left. She thinks I don't notice, but I can hear her when I press my ear to her bedroom door ..." another pause. Her sobs gave no sign of waning, so she hid her face again. "I wish Daddy had never left home."

Before answering, Mikasa thought of all the ways in which she could explain the departure of a loved one to an eight year old girl. She remembered her parents, as she had done so many times before, and the emptiness that left both their deaths inside her the night they were killed. The night when the Greek Moirai decided to cut the threads that kept them alive.

But she also remembered the day Sasha had showed her the ad in the newspaper and how that had taken her to the Jaeger house. Thousands of memories invaded her brains, making her wonder what the purpose of all this had been, and wondering if, perhaps, just maybe, she could have known Eren if her parents were alive.

It was cruel, even selfish to believe it; she would never have wanted her parents to leave her, and her desire to see them again, even for the last time, never changed. But then she thought that sometimes some things must happen in exchange for others. She was not quite sure how to explain her theory to the girl next to her.

A lazy ray of sunlight hit the surface of the pool again like a crystallized desert, then reflected in the dark gray of the woman's eyes until she squeezed her eyelids and turned her face away so as not to be blinded by water's shining.

"Faye, do you remember what your dad wrote for you in that letter?"

The girl raised her face again.

"I learned it by heart. I read it every night."

A thorn of pain pierced Mikasa's heart.

"Then you should know that, no matter what, he won't stop loving you."

Faye nodded as much as her sobs let her.

"But he left Mommy and me alone ... That's not love. Love is ... when Mommy makes breakfast for me even when she has to go to work early. Or when Eren makes pudding for you because you like it a lot and he kisses you on your cheek ... Mommy wouldn't leave me. Eren wouldn't leave you to go away. If Dad really loved us, he wouldn't have left home."

Mikasa held her breath.

There was no possible logical answer to the child's statement. And she, without knowing the real reason for Dr. Jaeger's departure, was not the most appropriate person to explain something so susceptible.

"Faye," she called her, before wiping away her tears. "Adults will always do things that children can not understand; Many times these things will fill us with anger, and also with pain, but ... there are things that happen for their children's sake, do you understand? I know you're still a kid. I know how much it hurts, ... I lost my parents when I was very little ..."

"Are they in heaven?" Faye interrupted, panting to be able to speak clearly. Mikasa sighed and nodded, with regret marking the bags under her eyes, the byproduct of a night of studying and sleeplessness.

"Yes."

"That's why you never talk about them?"

Mikasa sighed again.

"Yes. But what I want to say is ... that at least your dad promised to come back. Even if you think he abandoned you, you know it won't be completely true because he'll come back, you see? I don't know why he left ... But I think there's a justifiable reason behind what he did, and that one day he'll be able to explain everything to you."

Faye sobbed, sniffing the snot that had escaped from her nose. Her nanny cleaned her face again.

"What if he doesn't come back?" the girl asked, her voice breaking. Mikasa shook her head in denial.

"Don't think like that. He will come back, because you are his daughter and he made you a promise. I know he will fulfill it."

Faye snorted in tears before kneeling to hug her, hiding her face in Mikasa's neck, who hugged her back, with all the warmth of an older sister.

"Don't leave me, Mikasa. Never, please," Faye pleaded, her voice muffled by her hiding place. The girl smiled and kissed the little girl's hair.

"Never."

"Promise? Will you stay with me and Eren?"

"I promise," she answered in a whisper as she brooded a way to make the kid feel better. Mikasa pulled away so she could look the girl in the eye and take her cell phone out of her pocket. "Do you want to go visit Tamara?"

Faye's eyes lit automatically at the prospect of a possible escape from her gray reality.

"And teacher Hanji?" she asked enthusiastically, wiping away the remaining tears. Her nanny nodded.

"I'll call Carla," Mikasa said, immediately dialing the woman's number. Just a minute later, she ended the call and smiled, stretching out her hand to Faye's for her to hold it. "You have her permission."

"For real?"

"Yes. She just asked me to call Eren to pick you up later."

The golden-eyed, brown-haired girl grinned broadly, forgetting the milk and cookies that waited for her on the table, leaving them to be consumed by the birds that visit the Jaeger's back garden. Faye took her nanny's hand firmly and walked with her. Her braids moved with the sound of her footsteps and the autumnal wind; that child's heart was full of emotions, some lukewarm, some of them wilted, but all of them throbbed inside her intensely. Hope of seeing her father again one day, bloomed as she clung fiercely to the promises made by the adults who loved her.

Her father would come back home and she would hug him again, laughing out loud as he painted her little face with fleeting kisses as he made her twirl in the air.

Her mother and brother would remain by her side, and her family would be a family again.

And Mikasa would never get away from her. It's everything a child needs to be happy: the warmth of a home and the presence of their loved ones. Faye Jaeger lived peacefully, knowing that there was no possible future in which her longing would last forever. Not in her world. She could be happy, despite everything, and Dad would get back home.

He had to come back.

.

.

.

Hanji was the first to notice Eren's arrival as she looked out the window. It was almost evening. Lazily, the cold September sun stretched its last rays before setting, and the turquoise-eyed boy's slim and lanky silhouette slid out of his car and made his appearance at the Ackerman's entrance. However, he did not have to ring the bell, for the woman with glasses opened the door long before his finger dared to press the button.

"Eren! What a pleasure to see you here!" Hanji greeted him, with her boisterous voice and one of her shameless and sincere smiles. He too smiled, but the sway of his body gave him away. "Come in, come on," Hanji insisted, laughing again. "Levi's not here and he'll be late, so there's nothing you have to worry about."

The easing of his body was blatant at the news. The door was closed behind him and the lights were switched on, illuminating a little more inside the house he had never stepped in before. It was small, compared to Carla's; with a cozy room, a wooden floor littered with hundreds of toys piled up in the center of the carpet, evidence of child's presence. Thanks to the area where the staircase led to the second floor, the house reminded him of the Simpsons', but this one was painted with neutral colors and held a much more family atmosphere. The living room was impregnated with a delicious goulash aroma wafting from the kitchen, and Eren could see his girlfriend slapping Sasha's hand for eating a piece of dinner meat, from where he stood. A sharp, slightly bubbly but firm voice made him run his eyes to a small baby swing that rested at one side of the room.

"Ah, so you are Tamara!" He exclaimed, as if he had just discovered the most amazing thing in the whole world. Hanji laughed and Mikasa turned to the living room to hear the rudeness and emotion of her favorite voice. However, when she went out to meet him, Eren was holding the little one in his arms. She stared at him with a frown and critically checking out each one of his movements. "Oh, I'm sorry, Hanji. I should have asked for your permission to..."

"Oh no, it's fine. Tamara loves to be carried. Ah, look, here's your girlfriend," she announced, pointing to Mikasa. Sasha was the last to appear and greet him, before earning another slap from her best friend for once again sampling part of dinner before time. Pecking her boyfriend on his lips, Mikasa avoided being the target of Sasha and Hanji's jokes; but Eren was too busy admiring Tamara to worry about the rest. As everyone took a seat, the baby took her time studying the stranger who held her, with curious eyes. Inspecting him with prying fingers; prodding inside his nose, pulling his skin in every way possible, all while Eren marveled at how strong she was. Exclamations and laughter revolved around the littlest one, and that was the case for a while, until Sasha went back to the kitchen and Hanji picked up the toys scattered on the floor.

"And where's Faye?" Eren asked, while Tamara showed him a bucket of toys, babbling stuttering and demanding his attention, making him laugh. Taking a seat in front of him Mikasa pointed to the stairs.

"She's in my room, sleeping. She couldn't wait for you because she didn't have her mid-afternoon nap."

"She didn't? Why?" the boy asked, curious. Mikasa sighed, and her eyes moved to Tamara as the baby decided to slap Eren in the face.

"You know. She's still sad for your dad."

"Hmm ..." the boy murmured, trying to keep calm. "That's why you brought her here?"

"Yes. Carla agreed to let her come over," Mikasa answered, resting her chin on the palm of her hand, with the elbow of her right arm resting on her thigh and her silver gaze lost in each one of her niece's movements as she moved in her boyfriend's lap. "I think she likes you."

"Ah, and I like her too. Right, baby?" Eren's calm and deep voice made the little girl smile. With ease, he lifted her up to his face to observe her better, and his eyes traveled incessantly, from Mikasa to Tamara, and from Tamara to Mikasa, again and again. Suddenly, Sasha appeared in the room, giggling and looking at the expression that had been drawn on her best friend's face.

Mikasa was daydreaming of something that had never crossed her mind as plausibly until that moment. The image of Eren with a baby of theirs was simply wonderful, as was the connection between him and Tamara. Eren was still smiling, overwhelmed by the resemblance the baby had with her aunt, as the little girl tried to stick her index finger into the boy's nose at all costs.

A breath of longing with a taste of future and happiness settled in the dark-haired girl's heart. With smiling lips and rapturous eyes she watched the scene in front of her. Hanji elbowed Sasha and both of them stifled down a couple of laughs, struggling to mock her soundlessly.

"Mika," Tamara pronounced, pointing to her aunt with her finger. Eren shook his head.

"She's your aunt."

This time it was Tamara the one who vehemently shook her head in denial.

"Miiiikaaaa!" the little girl cried loudly. It was evident that she did not tolerate contradictions, even at an early age, and that only caused a resounding guffaw from the turquoise-eyed boy.

"Ah, not only physically you're the same as your aunt. You're also as stubborn as her," He joked around. Mikasa frowned, and Tamara started a long, babbled speech that only she could understand. Eren laughed again when he heard her.

"What's she saying?" He asked his girlfriend. Leaving her annoyance behind, Mikasa giggled and shrugged.

"Nobody knows. I think only Levi understands her, or at least he's the only one who can talk to her. And don't try to convince her that I'm her aunt; she will never listen to you."

"Eren, stay for dinner," Hanji announced, taking her sister-in-law out of her trance. Eren looked at the woman in glasses and twisted his mouth, doubting.

"Uh..."

"Don't worry about Levi. He'll be late today, so you can stay if you want," Hanji replied, chuckling, before approaching him to lift Tamara up. "I have to change her diapers, you can have her after. I'll go wake Faye up for dinner."

"It's okay," he replied, while the baby was removed from his arms and waved goodbye to him. Hanji and her daughter disappeared up the stairs.

"Eren, you'd be surprised how much Tamara looks like your girlfriend," commented Sasha, licking the rest of the stew that was left in the spoon, much to her best friend's annoyance. Eren tied his hair in a bun again after the baby had undone it, and Mikasa seemed to melt in the chair she was sitting in.

"Well, I've seen Tamara's pics before in social media but seeing them together is even more shocking," he answered, before releasing a whistle of amazement. His eyes slid to Mikasa the next second. "If I didn't know you, I'd say she's your daughter."

"Uh, so they say."

"You should see Mika's pics of when she was a child," Sasha suggested enthusiastically. "Ah, wait, I'll go find the photo album!"

"Sasha, no!" Mikasa exclaimed. But it was too late. "Agh."

"Why not?" Eren asked, giggling. Mikasa massaged the bridge of her nose, as if that could calm her against her friend's carelessness.

"Because there are a lot of embarrassing pics in there."

"More embarrassing than mine?" Eren mocked. "There's nothing of mine that you haven't seen already."

The lusty smile that stretched Eren's lips made Mikasa's face redden like a shrimp.

"Shut up, Eren."

"Shut me up, then," he replied smirking, reaching for her to come closer. Giving in, the girl changed seats to stay next to him. Only silence witnessed the moment when two pairs of lips collided in a sweet and stormy kiss; Eren smiled like a fool, and Mikasa thought he was the most adorable fool on Earth's surface.

"How was your day?" was the girl's question, while her boyfriend buried his face in her neck and kissed the exposed skin.

"All right. What about yours? You have bags under your eyes, so I guess you didn't sleep well last night, am I wrong?"

Mikasa shook her head and he pulled away to look at her.

"I had a lot to study. But it was worth it."

"Then did you do well in your exam?" he asked, with his index finger under her chin. Mikasa nodded and he grinned with pride. "I couldn't expect less from you, love."

One more kiss, this one, a little more patient and less eager.

"I'm hella tired."

"I know. You need a bubble bath and a long nap. Do you want to go home with me and with Faye? So we can sleep and I can cuddle y- "

His girlfriend's intermittent and shy giggle made Eren stop.

"Do you really think we'd just sleep?"

"Well ... of course we will ..."

"Eren," she roared, still giggling, with her hand in her mouth. "Don't try to fool me. You would wake me up in the middle of the night just to make love."

He chuckled too, bringing his face close to hers to bite her cheek slightly.

"Ah, I can't hold myself with you. It's your fault for being so irresistible."

Mikasa laughed, and Eren filled her face with kisses. For him there was no more sublime spectacle than seeing her laugh.

"So is it my fault?"

"Totally yours."

When Faye, Sasha, Hanji and Tamara came down the stairs, they found a saccharine scene, full of kissing sound and not-so-discreet cuddling. Eren's hand came out of Mikasa's skirt as soon as Hanji pronounced Levi's name to scare them from continuing. It was so effective that both jumped from their place, each one ending at opposite ends of the couch. A mirthful choir erupted in the Ackerman living room, followed by the clapping of the smallest hands.

"You guys don't learn, do you?" Sasha replied mockingly. "The fact that Mrs. Jaeger caught you together in your car, Eren, didn't seem to scare you enough ..."

"Sasha!" Mikasa exclaimed, her cheeks flushed, wishing she had her beloved scarf around her neck so she could cover her face. But no. She'd left it in her room a few minutes after returning home with Faye.

"Don't yell at me, Mikasa. You know I'm just telling the truth," replied her friend, her eyebrows arched in a boastful expression, walking towards Eren to hand him the album she was holding. "Here. Have fun."

"No way. We'll all have dinner first," Hanji warned them. Faye had already jumped into her older brother's lap and was rubbing her eyes, while Mikasa tried to remove the marks left on her face by the pillow. Dinner was served and everyone went to the dining room to eat and discover that Levi wasn't the only one who could communicate with Tamara, because Faye, although she did not understand anything, was the one who knew how to imitate the baby's long babbled litany and make her respond with a longer speech. The littlest ones were the center of attention during dinner, and when it was over, Eren could not wait to see the album photos of what had once been the Ackerman family.

Samuel, Tamara and their children: Levi and Mikasa.

Oh, and Dante. Dante was also in the photos. That troublemaker dog had been with them for seven long years.

Mikasa smiled sadly at the image of her dog.

"You guys are really identical," he commented, his eyes dance between his girlfriend and Tamara, and vice versa, once again. He had stopped at a photo where a two-year-old Mikasa, with a dirty mouth and disheveled hair, was laughing in her father's arms. Her mother had likely taken the picture, as a teenaged grumpy-faced Levi rested next to them, arms crossed with a frown on his face, with his back leaned against the beach table in the backyard.

Mikasa swallowed and sighed. Now she remembered why she and her older brother had avoided seeing those images for so long.

But somehow, the pain was less acute now.

"Well, I think they owe it to Auntie Tam," Sasha interjected. "She was a beautiful woman."

"She was," Eren stated, now looking at a photo of the Ackerman parents. "Mr. Ackerman was blond ..."

"Yes," This time it was Hanji the one to speak. "When I got pregnant I thought that Tamara would be blonde like her grandfather, or brown-haired, like me, but I think the Asian genes were stronger."

"Ah That means our children will look like you," Eren mentioned, with a half-sided smile that melted Mikasa's last nerve into a molasses. She blushed again.

"I- I don't know," was all she could say; because the emotions that bubbled inside her belly had weakened her vocal cords."

"Maybe not. It's possible that they will be a mixture of both of you, since it seems that you and Faye inherited Mrs. Jaeger's features, which means that your mother's family has dominant genes, so I'm sure it will be a genetic war when you and Mikasa make your first baby."

Sasha laughed loudly and Tamara held her arms out to her for Sasha to hold her. Mikasa wanted the ground to swallow her, and Eren let himself be infected by Hanji and Sasha's chuckles. Faye was coming back from the kitchen with a glass of water in her hands.

"I'm not sure if that could happen, Hanji. Not for now," Mikasa blushed at the prospect. Truth be told, Eren and she had never brought it up before.

"Ah, nobody knows that. But I suggest that you should be safe until you can live together, because Levi could kill Eren if an ' _Eremika'_  baby appears before that."

"A baby what?" Eren and his girlfriend asked at the same time. Hanji released one of her usual mocking giggles.

" _Eremika_! ' _Ere_ ' for Eren ..." she clarified, raising her right hand to make a half circle. "And ' _Mika_ ' for Mikasa," Then she did the same with her left. "We mix your names up ..." Hanji entwined her hands, completing a circle "And  _voila!_  We have an  _Eremika_  baby."

Her explanation was so unique and unexpected, that everyone burst into laugher. Even Mikasa, who rarely let such a hilarious sound escape. But both she and Eren remained red-faced, their cheeks burning like embers at the mention of such a delicate and intimate subject.

However, the bubbling sense of hope offered by a future like that was not unpleasant at all. For an ephemeral and refreshing moment, Eren imagined what his girl would look like with a baby of theirs in her arms. And without knowing it, Mikasa shared the same image with him, just with a single difference: in her mind, that baby with huge turquoise eyes and beautiful dark silky hair was not in her lap, but in his. Both then smiled, with warm grins and eyes bathed in dreams. Ah, his troubled heart turned upside down when his conscience brought him back to reality, although very silently; he was a liar, and she, she was purity made in flesh.

But even liars had the right to dream. Especially, a liar who could have taken the lines of this unending universe and join them together, forming an endless vortex of love in which, if his soul was separated from hers, they had no choice but to meet again.

The arrival of Captain Ackerman brought him out of his undesirable agony, and Eren forgot again the weight he carried on his back. He said goodbye to everyone, especially Tamara, with a kiss on the baby's cheek and booping her nose, rewarding him with a high-pitched childish laughter. Sneaking away from Levi, Mikasa said goodbye to her boyfriend with a kiss on the lips, not caring about Faye's presence who observed them with a mischievous and joyful face. The Jaeger siblings said goodbye to the Ackerman family, and as they got into their car, Eren looked at the dark celestial vault painted by the skies themselves, sighing.

One day he would have to tell Mikasa everything.

But when?

 

 

* * *

 

 

From time to time, Eren hated his best friend's perfectly applied pragmatism and logic. Especially when it came to giving him advice on how he should organize Zeke's bar stock, accounting books and how make use of marketing to attract more customers. Had he been in the army, Armin Arlert would have been the perfect strategist, or so all his friends thought, especially Eren and Mikasa. The blond boy had cut his hair and now looked much younger, stripped of the ponytail he had had for two long years, before declaring himself as Eren Jaeger's official business adviser. And Eren needed it, Zeke had reason to say that his younger brother couldn't manage the nightclub alone. However, that Wednesday in October, Eren had no intention of talking about the bar. He and his girlfriend were about to celebrate their ten-month relationship, and he was not going to waste his time settling any kind of accounts, even if Armin insisted.

"I swear to God, Coconut head. Tomorrow we'll talk about all the shit you want, but let me rest today, okay?" Eren pleaded as he shaved his lame beard and dull mustache, looking at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His best friend waited for him, sitting on the chest that served as an armchair by the window. Zeke's apartment was quite large, and Eren would have wanted to stay there, but now that Grisha had left, he preferred to spend more time with his mother and sister instead of leaving them alone in the Jaeger's huge house.

"That's your business, Eren. I'm only warning you about what's necessary."

"C'mon, Ar," the brown-haired boy replied when leaving the bathroom. Then he took a seat on the edge of his bed, with his back to the door. "I need only this day for my girl and me. After that you can kidnap me if you want to."

Armin chuckled.

"I'm sure that the only person who wants to do something like that is just your girlfriend. Normal people like me never do something like that."

"Hey, talking about wanting, is it true that Historia and Ymir want to have a child after all?"

"In fact ..." a new voice, but not an unwelcome one, echoed in the bedroom as it interrupted Armin's.

"Historia and Ymir want what?" Mikasa asked curiously, jumping to the bed to wrap Eren in her arms from behind. Overjoyed, he turned his head towards her to kiss her as her hair covered their scene from Armin's eyes, the strands of dark hair hanging like a jet black curtain pulled down by gravity. One of her hands slid over his bare chest and the other over his tanned shoulder, still behind him, resting her chin on Eren's head after breaking the kiss. He closed his hands around his girlfriend's arms, and Armin rolled his eyes at the scene.

"Hey, we didn't hear you come in."

"Eren, you gave me the duplicate keys yesterday. Don't you remember?"

Armin snorted again with annoyance.

"One day, Eren will forget where he left his head."

"Well, you have a point there, Ar."

"Oi, oi, oi, why are you two always against me?" Eren protested with a frown. However, he did not let Mikasa go, nor she him. Armin laughed with her.

"Because you're the least sensible of all us, Eren," the blond boy said with a crocked smile, making his friend roll his eyes.

"Well, and what were you talking about Historia?" Mikasa asked. Eren felt the vibrations of his girlfriend's voice descend from her chin to his head. A red scarf had fallen next to him, perfectly folded.

"Ah, I thought you already knew that our dear Hisu wants to have a child with Armin."

"What?" Mikasa exclaimed, eyes opened wide. The next second, the girl flopped on the bed next to Eren, her head hanging on the edge of the bed to be able to look at her friend, although everything was upside down for her. Armin nodded, shrugging. "And what does Ymir think about that?"

"Ah, she thinks it's better for the baby to be mine rather then Reiner's. She hates him, you know," The blond boy announced when shaking his head. Eren and Mikasa giggled softly.

"But, wait. Does she want to have a baby with you in the traditional way?" she asked, her cheeks flushed red and curiosity shining in her eyes. Armin snorted mockingly.

"Not at all. I'll be just the sperm donor. Ymir would kill me if I had sex with Historia; Besides, it would be something like ... incest. I couldn't, Hisu is like a sister to me," he explained, and his friends saw him grimacing until Eren let out a laugh.

"Don't be a hypocrite, Armin. You used to think that Hisu was cute."

"Well, isn't that the truth? She is cute."

"Armin is right," Mikasa intervened. "Hisu used to be the most popular girl at school, but Ymir scared all her admirers away."

"I need to scare away yours too," Eren commented, drawing a smirk at the corner of his mouth and leaning into his girlfriend's face to kiss her.

"What? You're kidding me. I have no admirers."

"It's just that you haven't noticed how some jerks stare at your ass when we walk together."

"You're a liar," Mikasa exclaimed, smiling smugly as Eren smooched her over and over again. Armin snorted upset as he got up from the chair where he was.

"No. Please," the blond boy grumbled. "Please stop that. Not in front of me, okay? Keep your horniness for later, please, when I'm gone."

"Hey, we haven't done shit!" Eren was the first to complain. Mikasa pressed her lips together as if that was enough to contain her chuckling.

"All that smooching you're doing in front of me is reason enough to feel sick. I'm leaving, bye."

"Armin! Don't leave, please..." Mikasa pleaded, pouting.

"To stay and be a third wheel? Hmm, that offer is quite tempting" Armin declared sarcastically as he scratched the back of his neck. "but I'm not interested. Good bye, you horny fuckers. And you, Eren, enjoy today because tomorrow we have a lot of work to do at the nightclub and we'll be quite busy."

"Fuck. Sometimes I forget that I'm the boss and not Armin," Eren's voice rose mockingly over the bedroom. His friend clicked his tongue.

"Technically I'm the boss, as I do most of the work while you learn how to run a business. Bye, perverts. Oh don't get too hot or you're gonna burn up," Armin's final comment made Mikasa use Eren's right thigh as a hiding place, completely flushed and about to burst into laugh, her shoulders jolting with every hiccup. Eren threw a pillow, hitting his friend's back before he could leave.

"You say that because you have no one to get horny with, you bastard."

"That's your business if you think so," Armin replied smirking, and then he left, leaving his friends eager to know what he meant. The apartment door was closed, and Mikasa was able to come out from her hiding place.

"Does he have a girlfriend?" the girl's voice made Eren look at her.

"I have no idea. He would have told me, right?"

"Yeah, I think so ... But he was very sure of what he was talking about. Do you think he's dating Annie?"

Eren shrugged at the question.

"Dunno. The next time I see him, I'ma insist until he has no choice but to tell me."

"I'm not sure if you can convince him to do so. Leave it to me."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm," she nodded. The turquoise eyes followed her movements until she was out of sight the moment she moved back behind him to slide her hands over her boyfriend's bare chest, pressing her nose against his brown hair and her mouth against his nape.

"Hey, don't do that. It's dangerous for you," Eren commented with a cheeky half-sided smile

"To begin with, you shouldn't have told me to come here. The both of us in bed, alone in the same room, is already quite dangerous."

They both laughed. Her shy and bell like laughter mingled with the hilarious and heavy panting that came from the boy's throat. With a quick movement of his arm, Eren pulled her to make her fall on his lap to be able to look at her better.

"Why are we so horny all the time?" he asked. Mikasa shrugged.

"You are a bad influence for me."

"Oh no, it's the other way around. But I'll let you be."

Some quiet giggles were drowned by an intermittent sweet kiss.

"Get dressed and let's go, Eren."

"Sure?" he replied, flipping her onto her back before laying on top of her; Mikasa nodded. "We should stay and watch a Game of Thrones episode."

She shook her head, her hand on his chest. Eren's voice seemed so seductive that she could hardly avoid his gaze.

"No, Eren. Not today."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm on my period."

Eren clenched his teeth.

"A soldier is never afraid to stain his sword with blood. Take that."

"Agh," she complained, hearing him laugh. "No way."

Once again, an intense kiss drowned out his loud laughter. Eren stared at her tenderly, adoring her existence.

"Fuck. I would love to kiss every part of your body and fuck you so hard that you'd be unable to walk for days."

Mikasa bit her lower lip, and a fit of smothered laughter caused her face to redden.

"Eren, shut up. Please."

"Nope."

Eren's lips left traces of fleeting kisses across her face, and her laughter slipped between his ears like an angels' choir, the kind of choir that knew exactly how to lock his demons up.

"Get dressed, please. And let's go now."

Eren grumbled but he got out of bed after twenty something kisses more.

"Sleep with me today. I'll drive you to school tomorrow early."

"I'll think about it, ... Hey, you shaved," she commented, admiring the lack of hair on her boyfriend's face. He nodded.

"You like it?"

"I'm not gonna lie: I had already gotten used to your ridiculous 'stache, but you don't look bad at all now."

Eren snorted, trying to look upset. She pecked his cheek.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Yes... No... Maybe."

She was teasing him and he knew it for the way he saw her biting her lip again.

"Fuck. I'm jealous of my brother," his words started in his tongue and ended up collapsing in her neck. She wrapped her arms around his naked torso.

"Why?"

"Well ..." he lift his head up so he could look at her. "Zeke can live with his fiancée."

Mikasa raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Is that a proposal?"

"Why not?" Eren gave her one of those lopsided smiles that made her legs weak.

"That implies many things, Eren. Money and... some others..."

"I know," One more kiss. With one hand on her wrist, Eren pushed her hand in the air to lace his fingers with hers. "Look at this: such perfection. Your hand fits so fucking perfectly in mine ... As if it's made just for me."

The kiss that came next seemed to have been lit by the sparks in a fireplace.

"And what does that mean?" Mikasa asked, when both of them broke the kiss to recover the oxygen they'd lost in the middle of their passion.

"That means that you should come to live with me."

Another kiss.

"And what will we do when your brother's back home?"

"We'll look for another place."

"We need a lot of money for that."

"When Zeke comes back I'll have saved enough to move somewhere else. I promise."

The sound of that pair of lips colliding for the thousandth time invaded the entire room. Their desire for each other could even be perceived through smell.

"Eren ... Let's go."

He sighed, scornfully giving up about the few expectations he had of having sex that afternoon.

"All right. I'll go for my shoes. Dunno where the hell I left them," He said, sliding his hands through the dark and silky hair of the girl who still was still hugging him. Eren walked away and she saw him leave, before her eyes turned to the small library by the window. It must be Zeke's, because Eren didn't read much. A Natural History book caught her attention and her fingers held it the next second, listening to Eren grumbling from where he was when he could not find the shoes he was looking for.

Mikasa scoffed at him when she saw a folded sheet escaping from the book and falling to the ground.

Dr. Jaeger's handwriting stood out in its lines and she thought it wouldn't be wrong to take a look. Eren wouldn't be mad at it; she did not keep secrets from him, and there was no possibility that he would keep them from her.

But how wrong she was.

As if the last of her nerves had been activated, an overwhelming, hopeless tingling seized her insides as her gray eyes slid over words that seemed too ignite into a fire, burning and suffocating, with smoke that clouded her view and senses as it burned her lungs. The same fire that consumed everything in its path, and that now collapsed, brick by brick, the fortress that Eren had built for her. She could hear inside herself, the shattering of what she believed to be unbreakable. Her jaw and hands trembled, as did her thoughts and the love she had believed in so blindly.

That love had deceived her.

A black hole had now sucked away all her faith and certainty.

"I've finally found my..." Eren stopped to see her, with the back of her hand in her mouth, a sheat of paper in her hand, and eyelashes moistened with tears. "Mikasa?"

Her answer was not immediate. But she did not have to speak for him to recognize the letter she was holding.

The fire that had consumed the bricks inside her, was now devouring the world inside him, with merciless, sharp, murderous whips.

"Eight years," Mikasa's voice rose with a quite indignity, hitting him like a stake. He listened. "Eight years since they died and since my brother started chasing their killers without getting any answers ..."

"Mikasa ..." the air in his lungs seemed to be poisoned with pain when he spoke her name up. She ignored him.

"Eight years, and all this damn time has passed in vain, while your family hid everything to save themselves ..."

"Mikasa, let me explain ..."

"Not only your family," she interrupted him, with an earthquake in her throat. "But you..."

"Mikasa, please, you have yo trust me and let me ..."

"Trust you?" A bitter and screeching laugh escaped from her vocal cords. "How could I trust a man who just lied to me?"

"If you just let me explain ..."

"No! I don't want explanations!" her voice rose like a painful roar, while the sheet shook in her hands to the rhythm of her trembling body. "It's not necessary to hear them from you after having read them here in this letter."

Silence cut through the air until the girl's sobs mingled with the crunching of the now crumpled sheet thrown to the floor. Mikasa walked to the door, but he stopped her.

"Mikasa, let's talk, please ..."

"Don't. Do not touch me," she replied, struggling to keep her voice intact with clenched teeth. "Don't dare to come close to me again. How much time did you have, Eren? How long have you been keeping this from me? Two damn months. Two damn months to explain this to me since your father left, or maybe more? Because I wouldn't be surprised if you've known for years. And I wouldn't have known anything! And the murder of my parents would remain unpunished if I hadn't found what I just read here, or am I wrong?"

"No! Damn, you're not wrong!" Eren bellowed, losing his temper. "You're not wrong, because I never wanted to tell you! I never wanted to tell you about this because I was not interested in getting you involved in this shit, Mikasa," like the previous time, he tried to grab her, but she moved away from him. "I just wanted ... All I wanted was to protect you from this ..."

She snorted bitterly. He sighed, knowing that his last words weren't entirely true.

"Ah, then I should thank you for lying to me," she declared sarcastically, her voice trembling just as her hands were.

"No! No, baby, no ... I'm just asking you to forgive me for not being able to be away from you. If I didn't tell you this before ... It's because I knew how you were going to react, and the last thing I want is to lose you, Mikasa."

"How did you want me to react? Do you want me to congratulate you? Do you want me to be happy after finding out you're hiding something like this from me?" her shaking and painful voice descended an octave, turning raspy and choked. "If you didn't tell me the truth, it was because you did not trust me enough, and because you preferred to hide a pair of murderers before allowing this to be resolved ..."

"Mikasa..."

Eren's hands tried to find hers, but they did not find them. It was like they had vanished from its touch. All of her was vanishing from him.

"Did you think once that maybe ... I don't know ... Just maybe, I would have been able to understand you? That this woman that you see here in front of you and is capable of dying for you, could have understood your reasons too? No, it never crossed your mind, Eren. You never thought about that. You never believed that both of us could have found a solution to this and resolved it once and for all so that my parents could rest in peace at last. Am I wrong?"

"No, it didn't cross my mind."

"Of course not, because hiding this makes you an accomplice, and you only wanted to protect yourself!"

"Don't talk nonsense! I never thought about it because I just wanted to keep you away from this and protect you ..."

"Protect me? Protect me from whom? From you?"

"Yes! Exactly, I had to protect you. From me and the damage I could do to you if I told you that my family was involved in this shit!" Eren's screams mingled with hers, in the same instant that they both seemed to collide with each other. Mikasa pulled away, between sighs and a sharp pain that scorched her insides.

"I don't know you ... I don't know who you are anymore..."

"I'm ..." his voice was starting to break too. "I'm the man who loves you, Mikasa. You must understand that ... Only that."

"The man who looked me in the eyes when he made love to me and told me he would never dare to fool me? The man who kissed me while lying to me?"

Those words brought down the last of the remaining walls around them. Bridges fell and the ropes were cut. Now there were only foundations and ruins left, broken voices and bitter tears.

"Okay," he pronounced, with liquid eyes and dead hopes. "I lied to you. I fooled you, and I never tried to tell you. But there's one thing I never lied to you about, Mikasa, and that's what I feel for you. Because you know that I love you."

"No," she said, using the last trace of strength that remained in her throat. "I think you could have convinced me about everything but that. About absolutely everything; everything you would have wanted to lie about, but not about that. Love does not lie, you know. That's why I've never hidden a single thing from you, and that's why I want you away from me. I want you out of my life from now on. What you did is unforgivable, Eren. In this life and others."

Mikasa walked towards the door. Eren knew he could not stop her, and his heart seemed to shatter into two sharp sides. Hers had already broken a just minutes before. He was not alone in that.

"Although I have no right to do so, I ask for your forgiveness. It's the only thing I ask from you, Mikasa."

She turned around to look at him for the last time. Gray eyes traveled to the scarf on the bed, and then returned to him.

"Not only your father and your brother are murderers ..." She took a breath to continue. "But are you. You're a murderer too, Eren. Because you just killed me."

She left. The red muffler was left behind.

As she walked out of his life Eren knew there was not a single thing left that could be broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for so many sexual references, but these two will spend a good time without doing the do. Maybe you think that Mikasa overdid it, but there will be someone who will make her come into her senses. Just imagine yourselves in her situation. I tried to make fit the Tumblr's anon ask in this chapter because I thought that it was pretty good and also we needed a lot of fluff before their breakup. I hope you've like it, Anon. I have not so much to say. Sorry for bringing so little angst; We will have much more in what is coming, and see you next chapter.


	29. How to deal with pain. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this chapter to my dear Adriana and I thank Mrs. Stampede on Tumblr (I owe you a second one ho ;) ) for betaing this chapter again. Those two are just awesome and I love them. This being said, enjoy.

In spite of everything, Mikasa still had the weak hope that everything she had read was a bad dream.

But no. The truth was as sharp and painful as the way she had discovered it. Tears welled in her eyes and throat as she drove the motorcycle on her way home. It wasn't even raining, but inside there was a devastating deluge that shook her body and almost knocked her from her vehicle. A foul-mouthed man cursed at her from his car when her motorcycle almost collided with him. The devastated Mikasa swerved suddenly, narrowly avoiding the impact. Mikasa ignored him; she didn't have the time nor the heart to spare defending herself, apologizing or answering the questions of those who approached her to see if she was injured. Only the road was in front of her, a cold and silent avenue that reminded her of the scarf she had left behind at will. The cold autumn air froze her marrow and the gray of her eyes mingled with the black of the asphalt. It sucked the breath and strength out of her like a black hole. A bleak emptiness settled in her, sweeping the remnants of her faith like the wind that blows over a mountain of dry leaves, scattering them in the distance. The pain of her soul and her despair rose to her head, pressing her brains as if she refused to believe even in what had happened.

Mikasa wondered why love was so painful and ruthless.

Mikasa wondered why Eren had fooled her.

Mikasa wondered why she had had fallen in love with him of all people.

Why was fate so cruel?

.

Although the she did not say a word when she got home, Hanji immediately knew that something was not right. Mikasa did not leave her shoes in the entrance, nor did she greet Tamara with a kiss as she was used to. As she watched her enter her room with stiff steps and dignified expression, a barely audible greeting to warn about her presence was heard. Proof that she wanted to hide something, as Mikasa Ackerman did not know how to lie. She had never been good at it; her family knew it and she never managed to convince them otherwise, no matter how hard she tried. That's why the bedroom door was closed seconds before Hanji could go to her and see what happened.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

And although Hanji insisted on calling her name while knocking on the door, there was no response other than a failed attempt to convince her that everything was fine. Mikasa's muffled, withered voice heard behind the door contrasted with her statement. However, Hanji decided to wait for Levi's arrival and explain what was happening. He would know what to do, as not even Sasha seemed to be successful when she returned from her workday. Though she had managed to be the only one to whom Mikasa opened the door.

While stroking her friend's hair, she was witness to her despair. In the fetal position, with her head on Sasha's legs, Mikasa sobbed silently. The weight of an invisible anvil pressed against her chest, drowning her breathing, as pain devoured her insides anxiously.

Everything was gray again, just as it had been that night, eight years ago. He was missing. Her scarf, the warmth of those arms that enveloped her and protected her, emerald eyes pierced hers and her spirit, undressing her completely, as well as his crooked smile. All missing, and instead, there was only a cold emptiness and the bitter taste of a sardonic and barbed lie.

"Mikasa, please ... Talk to me. Say something..."

The anguish flickered shamelessly in Sasha's voice. However, her request had no answer; with her hands on her face, Mikasa refused to speak. Nor even to look at her, fearing that her eyes would reveal everything that should not be said. Even on the verge of despair and in the climax of her anger, the dark-haired girl feared for Eren and for what might happen to him if the truth was known. In spite of everything, she could not allow a single thought to rise against him ...

Although she hated to admit it, a flame as strong as the love they shared did not fade away with a single breath, nor with the most impetuous flow of water. And that, just that, was the most painful fact of all.

"Mika ... What's wrong? Does it have anything to do with Eren?" Sasha insisted, stroking the thick curtain of black strands that adorned her friend's head. Mikasa shook her head. Sasha sighed. "Did something happen to him?" Mikasa shook her head again. "So ... did ... he do something... to you?"

There was no response either. The brown-haired girl understood; she also knew that it was useless to keep asking her. Maybe at this moment, Mikasa just needed a shoulder to cry on and find some comfort.

Sasha remained silent, listening to her cries and feeling under her hands the way the her sobs wreak through her friend's body. For an hour, Mikasa did not speak, and for a second, her best friend thought she had stopped breathing. In fact, the affliction had left her so exhausted that even the last breath of her lungs seemed to have escaped her, just like the colors that had radiated so joyfully in her soul.

Gray, black, white.

Darkness and pain.

The bubble threatened to appear again around her.

.

"Sasha?" a male voice called from the outside. Mikasa, apparently, had fallen asleep. So Sasha stood up after carefully laying her friend's head on the pillow to go and meet Levi, who was waiting for her in the corridor with Tamara in his arms. The door was closed, and the brown-haired girl found a very worried captain in front of her.

"Sir?"

"What's wrong with Mikasa?"

Sasha stuttered.

"Uh ..." she muttered, she was not sure if Mikasa had wanted her to tell Levi about her condition.

"Hanji just told me that she's acting weird and that she heard her cry. I guess you know what happens to her."

"Eh ... Actually she didn't mention the reason, sir."

Levi was not convinced with that answer. It was not easy for her younger sister's best friend to lie, and it was quite obvious when her speech faltered as in that moment. Captain Ackerman narrowed his eyes, but he realized that Sasha probably did not want to give Mikasa away.

"Is she asleep?"

"Yes, sir."

"Da-da ..." Tamara interrupted the conversation poking her father's face. Levi turned his head towards her.

"What do you want, brat?" he asked, shaking her slightly as she liked. The little girl squeezed his nose and the captain snorted, while he pecked her cheek to make her laugh, even when his face remained with a serious expression. "Sasha, can you hold her while I talk to Mikasa?"

The girl nodded, taking Tamara in her arms. Levi entered without knocking the door. He could somehow he sense that his sister was not sleeping.

And he was right.

He knew it when he saw her body tense after hearing him enter.

"Now you know?"

Mikasa did not know how, when or why, but the question was straight and did not lead to speculations. Levi knew it too.

Apparently, she had been the dumb one; the only one with the bad luck of having found a letter in a stupid book while Eren made fun of her, thinking she would never know. Then her world crumbled even more. Even the pieces that were left made fell and crashed.

She didn't move even an inch. Levi walked to the bed and sat on the edge of it, starting a short and concise monologue. He never beat around the bush, and she did not expect him to. However, she preferred to continue pretending that she was asleep, and thus the time bomb and all the despair that throbbed inside her, threatening, would not explode.

"I know you're awake. It's not necessary to play the fool with me," silence. Silence that cut the air. "I knew this day would come, and although I have no excuse to have hidden this from you, I did it for a good reason. I wanted to save you from the heartbreak. However, I think it's better late than never."

Levi waited for a moment. He sighed, stood up and walked to the door without hesitation. His sister's choked and faltering voice was the only thing that stopped him.

"It seems that I was the only fool who didn't know anything."

The captain turned on his feet towards her and returned to his place in the bed.

"Ignorance has its advantages, Mikasa."

"Not for me. This ... This was not fair."

"It will never be fair, kid but it was necessary."

"Necessary for whom? For him?" her voice, although broken, had risen, as she had straightened up on the bed.

"For you. So you wouldn't suffer."

Levi heard her snort. A curtain of short black hair hiding her eyes from him.

"It's the most absurd thing I've heard."

"You have the right to think that. I have my reasons, just as Eren did."

"He wasn't protecting me. He was protecting himself."

Levi could not see her, but the tone of her voice allowed him to imagine how broken she was inside. And that destroyed him, even if he did not say it.

"Most likely. But my duty as your brother was to save you from this pain."

"You didn't do much."

Mikasa could be quite hurtful, even if she did not mean to. Levi swallowed but it went unnoticed

"Again: you have the right to have your own opinion about this. I won't try to change it, it would be useless to try."

There was silence again. So somber and cold that it seemed to freeze the room.

"You betrayed me too," Mikasa's voice rose over her breaths like a whisper.

"And I'll do it again if it's for your own good," Levi replied nonchalantly.

Slowly, she returned to her position on the bed.

"Leave me alone, Levi."

"As you wish."

The older of the Ackerman siblings stood up for the second time, and as before, was interrupted by the faint cry of his sister's voice.

"Levi ..."

"What do you want?"

She waited a few seconds. Her vocal cords vibrated too much to be able to utter a word.

"Will you involve him in that?"

"No need to. He has nothing to do with this, if that's what worries you," he answered without hesitation. She did not say anything else; her fetal position was a refuge from words. Before leaving, Captain Ackerman stopped at the door. He came back with her and covered her with the thickest blanket he found in the room. "Cry if you need to, brat. Otherwise you will drown."

Not a single word was said after that.

Mikasa cried all night long, her head laying on Sasha's legs, knowing that she would not leave her side.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Darkness consumes, tears and exhausts, like a cancer, like the weeds that scurry through the fields and spoil the roots ...

In the same way, the loneliness and martyrdom of his mistake had consumed and tore at Eren. Reducing him into a walking drunk empty shell that barely moved at all. Calls, voice and text messages, and none of them had worked. Mikasa had changed her phone number and had disappeared from all social networks after receiving the first message from him. She had disappeared from his life, and with it, all her essence, leaving him alone and empty, like an abandoned puppy.

Even Armin could not get him out of his misery. Now Armin was the one in charge of the bar, as his best friend had not only given up to himself, but also to the business that Zeke had left in his hands. He hardly attended classes, and the bar had become his personal liquor supply. There was only one option for such an ordeal, one that had authority enough to wake him up and get him out of the misery he had fallen into, the day Mikasa said goodbye to him.

Carla must be able to do something for her son, after two weeks without seeing him; even though she knew where he was, Eren had not wanted to visit her nor answer her desperate calls. Armin and she would force the door to Zeke's apartment if needed, and bring him back to the real world. He needed to wake up, to come back to life.

"Eren?"

Mrs. Jaeger's voice invaded that dark room, as if a flash of audible light had entered through the window, blocked out by the heavy curtains. With an empty bottle of cheap wine next to him, Eren remained motionless, covering his face with his forearm. He was awake, but he did not respond to his mother's call.

"Eren," the woman insisted with impatience and concern from the door, followed by Armin, who decided to wait outside. "Eren, what are you doing with your life?"

He did not answer. Carla made her way through the mess of broken and scattered garbage that rested on the floor until reaching him. She him out of bed harshly; she knew better than anyone that her son did not need to be pampered but shaken.

"Carla! Leave me alone!"

"Eren! Eren, get up and stop behaving like a spoiled child! You are twenty years old and have responsibilities to fulfill."

"Responsibility? What responsibilities? Just leave and let me sleep, old woman. I don't know why you came here, I never asked for any of this. I don't know what the fuck you expect from me."

"Eren, you shouldn't talk to your mother like that," said a worried Armin in a bossy tone, like someone lecturing a disobedient child.

"Shut up, Armin. Mind your own business."

"Eren! What kind of garbage is coming out of your mouth?" Indignant, Carla pulled her son's ear and forced him to get up. Armin watched the scene with disappointment, shaking his head. Eren growled angrily, but he had to give in. "Get out of bed, get out of this dirty and dark place. You reek of alcohol; Armin said you've been locked up here all weekend. What do you want to become? Do you think this is right? Answer me, Eren!"

"I don't give a fuck if it's right or not. Let me live my life, mom. I left home long ago, I don't need your lectures or permission to do shit."

"And you think this is life, Eren Jaeger? Do you think it's worth living this way? Even if Mikasa and you are not together, this is not the end of the world, do you hear me? What do you think she would say if she saw you in this state?"

Eren snorted bitterly.

"She dosn't give a shit about the state I'm in! So, what do you know? She doesn't even work for you anymore; she quit because she doesn't want to know a shit about me. What makes you think that seeing me like this could worry her?"

"Eren," Armin said, massaging the bridge of his nose. "Be reasonable. Come to your senses once and for all. You made a mistake and it's just logical that ..."

"Fuck, Armin," Eren did not let him finish. His voice had risen violently, striking his vocal cords and the eardrums of those who accompanied him. "What about this is logical? What mistake did I make? I didn't want any of this and yet she blames me for shit that I had nothing to do with. Is that fair? Not even you two are being fair asking me to behave as if nothing had happened. You should leave me alone. I'm not interested in getting out of here."

With his hair down and a few days old beard, Eren leaned his hands against the wall, his back to his mother. Carla sighed, observing with disappointment and sadness the disaster that surrounded her son: paper, clothes, books, bottles, some empty some broken, boxes of instant food. Pictures of him and Mikasa littered the floor and armchairs that rested in the room, turning it into a pandemonium. It had been two weeks since he last saw Mikasa, and the pain was as heartbreaking and suffocating as the first day.

What Eren did not know was that the girl's agony was as lacerating as the one he was living through.

"Eren, things shouldn't be that way..."

"Armin," the brunette-haired woman interrupted him, cutting off the blond boy before he could finish his sentence. "leave him alone. If Eren wants to live this way and waste his life, there is nothing we can do," Carla walked to the exit and took Armin by the arm, pulling him out of that place. The mother tensed her jaw, with watery eyes that she did not allow her son to take in. Eren had always been stubborn, pig-headed, and she knew it better than anyone. Her son would not give in, and she would not push him further with the clear intention of not making things worse.

Although it hurt, it hurt even more than giving birth, but in her maternal wisdom, Carla was aware that leaving him alone, at least for now, was the best thing to do.

Then she wondered, looking at heavens when she and Armin left, why her family was collapsing so woefully.

God had never been more unfair to her.

The days passed without sorrow or glory. Through tears, the bitterness of separation, Eren and Mikasa fought against time to learn to survive, one far from the other. She breathed via pulmonary memory; he walked by sheer inertia, with the red scarf folded around his neck, always inhaling the scent she had left impregnated in the fabric. Autumn was advancing, the earth was still spinning, and the ordeal of two hearts pumping blood at the same rate did not seem to wither. Winter threatened to return soon and scatter snowflakes all over Trost, cooling and hardening the invisible barrier that separated them. From time to time, Eren wished to be a carefree child again and forget about the burden his family had unfairly placed on him. Mikasa wished she had never left Shiganshina, avoiding another layer of pain over an already broken soul.

Walk, breathe, live ...

Everything was now a tedious and ghostly routine.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

An icy breeze hit the main courtyard of Trost University. Fleeing from Keith Shadis' glare, Mikasa quickly saved her work at the end of her composition class and left the classroom. Sasha was not with her, as the brass ensemble had been summoned to a meeting an hour earlier. The dark-haired girl hung her backpack and her violin case from her shoulders and put her hands in the pockets of her coat, walking with her head down to avoid the cold late November air. The city was painted with the depressing gray blue of sky and the orange of dead leaves, but Mikasa saw no color. The red of her scarf was missing from her neck, and the rush to escape from the teacher made her forget what was around her. However, the rapidness of her steps was not enough to evade Shadis' voice calling after her.

"Ackerman!"

Mikasa closed her eyes tiredly and her body suddenly stopped. As much as she wanted, it was not smart to disobey the dean of the conservatory. Keith Shadis said her name for the second time, and the girl had no choice but to step back.

"Sir?"

"Come with me."

The dean turned on his feet to re-enter the building, taking care that his student followed him without hesitation. Shadis walked through a corridor to the end, where he entered an empty classroom. The bald, mean eyed man with a frown sat behind the desk and opened his laptop. Mikasa just watched without saying a single word; but she could already foretell the reason why she had been summoned to such an uncomfortable meeting.

Silence rang while the dean worked on his laptop. Desperate, the dark-haired girl looked out the window with absent eyes; in fact, she wasn't looking anywhere, she was just looking for an escape from that situation. The teacher's voice brought her out of her trance.

"Theory of Composition, Seminar of Bowed Strings, Contemporary Harmony, Principles of Baroque Harmony ... Four subjects out of nine, and all about to be failed in the first cycle of this semester. This is your third year at this university, and until now you have not failed in one thing. You have even surpassed many senior students since you joined, with your skills as a musician. Neither I nor the other tutors can understand why your grades have fallen so drastically. Ackerman, do you know what could happen if you fail?"

She nodded. But she had to open speak when Keith Shadis' sunken eyes searched her face from where he was.

"Yes sir," she answered, with a barely audible voice.

"Well, tell me."

Mikasa was slow to respond.

"I could ..." she sighed before continuing. "I could lose the scholarship."

Shadis nodded.

"I'm pleased you have it in mind. This college does not give scholarships to any schmuck who dares to ask for it, you hear me? We select talented and committed students who can raise this institution's name. I personally was one of those who approved your application, and I still remember your audition in Shiganshina High School. You left me amazed and I said that you deserved to be a scholarship holder. But today I don't understand what happened with your grades. Do you have something to say about it?"

Six seconds of silence. Mikasa cleared her throat.

"No, sir."

"Then I must assume that you have become lazy and lost interest in the career you chose," Shadis snorted sharply.

"Of course not, sir."

Despite the anguish that scratched her throat and stung her eyes, the she did not lower her eyes or allow her voice to break. Dean Shadis sighed, closed his laptop and ran his hand over his bald head before speaking again.

"Ackerman, I dare to say you're the best apprentice we have. You alone are worth a hundred students, and it's not only my opinion but that of all the teachers who have taught you so far. For someone with your talents to lose a scholarship at this university would be disappointing. If you have family problems, I guess I can not intervene in them and I hope they are solved, but you must improve your grades, or I won't be able to do anything for you. Understood?"

Mikasa nodded.

"Yes, sir. I understand."

"All right. I hope that what I just said is not in vain. That's it. You can leave."

"Thank you, Professor Shadis," The girl answered before leaving, walking away as fast as her feet would allow. Mikasa took a breath, as much air as she could, until a gust of autumn wind blew through her nostrils and froze her lungs, making her shiver. She wanted to get home; she wanted nothing more than to rest for a few minutes, close her eye and forget that the Earth was still spinning.  _Walk, keep walking_ , she told herself, repeating the phrase in her head like a mantra. It was cold again, a coldness she had not felt for many glorious months, since that warm red scarf was wrapped around her neck. Now it was much needed. Damn it, she should have listened to Hanji and carried her wool gloves in her pocket.  _Walk, Mikasa, walk._  And so she did, until she reached the exit gate after a long and tedious distance.

The sound of the horn of a navy-blue Ford that stopped on the street in front of the exit gate made Mikasa look straight ahead. A blonde head peeked through the passenger window, hurrying to keep track of the gray-eyed girl.

"Mikasa!" Armin yelled, honking the horn again. "Mika, we have to talk ..."

She stopped, her hands still in the pockets of her coat; but she did not go near the car.

"I think that's not possible, Armin ..." she replied with a slight frown. Her feet anxious to escape from there. But her friend was not going to give up, even knowing that Mikasa was upset with him too.

In a way, he too had betrayed her.

"Come with me, Mikasa. I really need to talk to you."

She sighed and he looked at her with pleading eyes, while she struggled between yes and no. However, Armin knew that she would accept, and he was right, when he saw her walk towards his vehicle, though with hesitant steps.

The girl sighed and adjusted her violin case over her shoulder. Her friend opened the passenger door for her and Mikasa entered, reluctantly. The engine was lit and the Ford started. Armin spoke when he saw her take a breath to remind him of her motorcycle.

"Don't worry," he reassured her. "We'll come back for your bike later. Now tell me, how's your job at the restaurant?"

With a weary sigh, Mikasa prepared to answer.

"Quite stimulating," she pronounced without interest, looking through the front glass towards the road that stretched before them.

"And ... Do you work until late at night?"

"Sometimes."

Both fell silent. Only the rumble of the car's engine was heard. Armin sighed, the grief tainting the expression on his face.

"Faye misses you, you know. And Carla too."

A bitterness stuck in Mikasa's throat. She gasped out of sadness, or perhaps out of pure frustration or guilt, which she did not know. She just wanted to stop the world for a moment and breathe.

"I broke a promise to Faye, Armin ..." she whispered. The words had crawled off her tongue, as if they were afraid to leave.

"I know," replied the boy, turning to the right. "She told me. But I understand why you did it."

"I couldn't ... I couldn't stay working there. It wasn't right, it wasn't ... It wasn't fair," she said, her voice tired and dull. Armin nodded.

"I know. But at least ... you should visit her. That would make her feel better."

Mikasa shook her head vehemently.

"No. I don't want to go back to that place. I don't want to have to look them in the eyes and pretend that nothing has happened. Carla also hid what she knew. They all did. You did it too, and it's not pleasant to know, Armin."

"Mika ... I know you have reasons to be mad at me and everyone. I failed you, I know, but ... I think you understand that telling it was not a truth for me to tell."

"Okay …" the girl mused, trying to stay calm.

"No, Mikasa, it's not okay. You have the right to be angry, but ... neither Eren nor I wanted to harm you ..."

"Armin, I don't want to talk about him."

"It's necessary..."

"If you made me get in your car for this, then I'd like off now. You don't have to go back, here is fine. I can walk back to campus …"

"No, Mikasa. Listen to me. We are friends; we don't need Eren to continue being so. So please we need to talk."

The silence that remained after his words pierced the boy's eardrums.

"No. We don't need him to continue being friends, but I'm not interested in making him the main subject of this conversation. I'll get off here, Armin."

Mikasa did not need to say another word. Resigned, Armin stopped the Ford and sighed, hands gripping the steering wheel.

"Okay, Mika. I understand that you're mad at me, but I'll be here whenever you want to talk. You can call me, if you want."

"All right," she said, after a long and uncomfortable pause. "Bye."

"Bye."

It had been hard to say goodbye. However, Armin watched her get out of the car and walk away, knowing that it was pointless to try to convince her. Each one of them would take their own path. It would be a few hours before Armin heard his cell phone ring and Mikasa's voice through it, asking if she could see him. Minutes later, a motorcycle stopped in front of the Arlert's porch, and a raven-haired girl rang the bell to be greeted by Grandpa Gerard. A light and melancholy melody flooded her ears as soon as the door was opened.

"Mikasa? I didn't expect to see you here, daughter. It's been a while. But come in, come in or you're going to freeze out there."

"Hello grandpa," greeted the girl, receiving the old man's warm embrace, who then closed the door behind her. "I'm sorry I haven't come over more often. I've been..."

Grandpa Arlert smiled as sweetly as ever, patting his grandchild's friend on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, daughter, you don't need to explain. Armin's in the living room. I'll go to my room. sleep is already overcoming me. You know that old people like me go to bed with the chickens. See you tomorrow."

"See you then, Grandpa," she replied, following his movements with her eyes as he walked away, right to the wide curved stairs of the Arlert's lobby. With tired steps, Mikasa entered the living room, where Armin played Chopin's nocturnal op. 9 on the grand piano that rested by the fireplace. Without interrupting, she walked in and took a seat on the stool next to him, sliding her hands to improvise harmonically on the classic piece that both liked so much. The room was flooded with crescendos and marked chords, with figures of odd tinges and others more formal mixing. In spite of their contrast, they created an exquisite tune to the ear. Chopin became Beethoven, and later on, Schubert's sweet  _lied_. The boy smiled and Mikasa answered, nodding; A few minutes later, the music stopped and Armin sighed, amazed.

"We should do this more often, Mika."

With a modest smile, Mikasa nodded as well.

"I was ... rude to you this morning, wasn't I?"

He smiled, shaking his head.

"No biggie, I understand your reasons and I also understand that you've been angry at me."

"Still, I'm sorry. Actually ... you have nothing to do with this. You only did what any friend would have done."

Armin combed his hair with his right hand before turning his body slightly to his left so he could look at her better. Mikasa always liked to see that light boyish air that surrounded her best friend's round face, that air on his expression that inspired innocence. Even knowing that the blond boy was anything but innocent. A corner of her brain silently mocked had she had such a thought at a time like that.

"I never covered for him, Mikasa ..." Armin pronounced. She rolled her eyes. "Well, I did, but not because I wanted to, but because I shouldn't be the one to tell you the truth. I spent ... a lot of time insisting he tell you, just before something like this happened between you guys."

She sighed heavily.

"It was going to happen sooner or later, Armin."

"Still, I feel guilty because I know how much it hurts ... And I would like to make it up to you in some way."

The girl let out a short, bitter and scathing laugh.

"If you have some way of making me forget all this and make everything to go back to normal, it would be good. But there isn't anyway of doing that, right?" she asked sadly. Armin shook his head in the same way. "I figured. Then there is nothing to do."

"Mikasa, Eren never wanted to-"

"Hurt me? He didn't succeed, Armin. He did hurt me, and in the worst way possible," Mikasa sighed, preventing her voice from breaking and the tears that wanted to escape from her eyes. "Maybe ... Maybe Eren never changed, you know? Maybe I forced myself to believe in something that didn't exist just because I was stupid and fell in love with him ..."

Shaking his head with intensity, Armin straddled the piano stool so he could face his friend. His expression was serious, fierce and deep, severe, like someone intent on making a difference.

"Mikasa ..." Armin took a breath and ran his hand over his face before continuing. "I think you're wrong. I swear I understand everything; I understand your anger and your pain. I can understand everything, absolutely everything, except what you just said. Eren is not the person he was before he met you; there is not a single trace of the Eren you once punched in front of me because he threatened Sasha. He's my best friend, Mikasa. I've known him since kindergarten and if there's a reason why he changed what he used to be, that was you. Forgive me, but it's unfair that you think like that just because he made the mistake of not telling you so he wouldn't lose you …"

"Armin, it was selfish what he did ..."

"Mikasa," his friend interrupted, his voice firm. "Maybe it was. But I think the end justifies the means and Eren's end was not to lose you. Do you understand that? Countless times I insisted he tell you the truth, but I think I would have done the same thing in his stead. Eren was an asshole, arrogant, a bastard, the worst lout; he was an asshole to Faye, to Carla, to you and also to me, but he changed. He changed even when I believed that my poor best friend couldn't be helped. Yes, he may still be an idiot, but not for the same reasons as before. So I don't think you have the right to say something like that. Sorry if I'm too harsh, but I've seen Eren destroyed by this, and I doubt that this is the state of a person acting out of his own interests. Don't think that he has it better than you. It's been almost a month and ... I think he couldn't be worse."

There was silence for a moment. Mikasa bent down to hide her face in her hands, causing her dark black hair to fall over her face like onyx waterfalls. It was beginning to break, that was for sure; but she had cried so much that she did not want to give in again.

"And you think this is easy for me, Armin? Put yourself in my place and tell me if you think you would be able to easily forgive something like what he did."

"Mikasa, he was not the only one who hid the truth from you. I did it, also Carla, and even your brother ..."

"No, Armin," she roared with a choked voice. "It wasn't you the one who owed me the truth. Not you, not Levi, not Carla. He was the one who should have looked me in the eyes and told me the truth if he really loved me as much as he says he does. It was him who knew the truth before everyone; him, the one who told me he wouldn't hurt me while we were ..." the girl stopped, clearing her throat. "It's not easy, Armin. I'm not able to look him in the eyes and pretend nothing happened."

The blue of the boy's eyes slid sadly over his friend's downhearted shape. Tired, Mikasa dropped her hand over the piano keys, causing a thunderous cluster that stopped as soon as she moved away, alarmed by the irritating sound. Armin just stared at her, powerless, useless, hopeless. Apparently, he was, of the three of them, the only head that could think clearly, the only rope that tied the two bodies that had decided to break apart.

"You love him, right?"

Mikasa snorted bitterly at the question, her eyes flooded with tears.

"To the bones. And still, it's hard to forget what he did," she objected, standing up. Armin followed suit, approached her and laid his hands on the girl's shoulders, shaking her lightly.

"Mikasa, listen to me," he commenced, piercing her insistently with the blue of his eyes. "I've always seen how difficult it's for you to put yourself in others' shoes. I know it's complicated, I know; but this time, just for this time I ask you to, please, stop considering that the world is not only black and white. Not all people have bad intentions, not all people try to hurt you, okay? For him it was difficult to hide the truth, and for me it's more difficult to have to convince you of this: Eren did not intend to hurt you. He never wanted it, and I would put my hand to the fire if they ask me to swear it."

Armin concluded his explanation, sighing. His hands witnessed the moment when the tension left Mikasa's shoulders to let them shiver to the rhythm of the sobs that for several minutes she had tried to retain. He hugged her and she took refuge in her best friend's chest like a frightened child. For an instant, the girl remembered her father's arms and how warm they had once felt, closed around her, just like Armin's; her mother's soft hands and her comforting caresses. Memories devoured her brains, turning her head into a bitter nest of confusion; her parents, their death, meeting Eren and the people who had led his and her family to destruction. Love, resentment, melancholy and frustration. Dead yearnings, vestiges of a broken past and fragments of a future that seemed to be and was not. Armin only heard her cry, and planned to stay with her until Mikasa was able to live again.

"I don't know what to do, Armin. I love him, but I don't want to see him ... No. I don't know what I want."

Armin let out a long sigh, before turning away from her so he could see her eyes.

"Mikasa, I'm not asking you to forgive him now. But, please, don't stop considering it. You guys don't deserve this" He did not get an answer but he did not expect to get one. "Faye's birthday is in a few days, and I think it would be a good opportunity to talk ..."

The boy could not finish. She had shook her head vehemently. With a resigned sigh, Armin hugged her again, at the same time a crazy idea took hold in his head.

Recalling a picture of a certain movie that the three of them liked, the blond boy took his cell phone and played the same song from that scene.  _O children_ , by Nick Cave, filled the room. The guitar melody marking the beginning of the modern ballad, played. Mikasa looked up as the melody invaded her ears, and Armin made her stretch her arms again and again to the rhythm of the music. Then she understood, and her mind took her to a Deathly Hallows' scene. Between the tune emitted by her best friend's phone and the blond boy's dancing like movements, as he tried to make her dance, Mikasa was transported to that scene. She smiled faintly, drying her tears with the sleeve of her jacket and not letting go of Armin's hand.

"That's not a proper song to dance to. You know it, don't you? It's quite dark," she mentioned, giving up to Armin's spins.

"I know. I just wanted to make you believe that we were Harry and Hermione in the tent for a moment."

Mikasa let out a shy laugh and Armin mocked her clumsy steps, already stained with the weight of her sadness.

"We dance much worse than them," she commented. He shrugged.

"At least it helps me forget about the things that drive me crazy these days."

The girl stopped to look at him with an inquisitive look, but he did not stop moving.

"What are you talking about?"

Nick Cave's voice covered the atmosphere and their breathings, until Armin had the courage to answer that question.

"I feel confused about Annie …" He paused and sighed, before continuing his explanation. "And also about Jean."

As much as Mikasa wanted to stop, Armin would not allow it. He had just discovered that dancing was a sedative to his worries, even if he was not an expert at it.

"I don't understand.."

"I think you do, Mikasa."

She frowned. His friend spun her around again.

"But..."

"I think I'm ... bisexual."

Silence again. In a way, Mikasa seemed to take the lead this time.

"And does that disturb you? I would take it as an advantage, since you have more options."

Armin let out a quick laugh.

"That was direct and practical. I thought you would scold me."

"Why? For being bisexual?"

This time it was Armin the one who spun around.

"No. For not being able to make a choice."

"Well, I must admit that that's already quite complicated. But I suppose I should have seen it coming with all that time you and Jean spent together in college."

"Ah, is it so obvious?"

"No. But we're friends, Armin. You know me and I know you. Now, what will you do about it?"

He shook his head.

"I have no idea, Mika."

Silence again. The song chorus made them swing all over the place.

"Annie loves you," she said. Armin nodded.

"I know. And I love her too."

"But you like Jean too … or Am I wrong?"

"No. You're right."

From time to time, the two of them let the music dull their voices.

"I guess you have to ask which of the two you want more."

"I guess that me having sex with her answers your question. But I can't get Jean out of my head."

Just as before, Mikasa tried to stop, but Armin would not let her, so she thought it was better to swallow her bewilderment in silence.

"I didnt need to know that."

"I'm sorry, but this is something that I can only talk to you about. Eren is not able to listen to me for now."

In the middle of an infectious ballad and a lazy dance, Mikasa smiled sweetly and tilted her friend's head so she could kiss him on the forehead.

"We're fucked," she declared in a low voice, taking refuge in her best friend's arms and resting her head on his shoulder, once more. Armin smiled broadly. The song was almost over.

"You will not like what I will say, but that sounded so Eren."

"He has always been a bad influence for me," she joked, without any expression on her face. But his friend could not see her.

"Thanks for taking this off my chest, Mikasa."

"Likewise."

The volume descended and so too their dance. When the song ceased, neither of them pulled away; for both, the company of one was as comforting as the other's. It was like being at home, like seeing a brother again after a long time.

The golden-haired boy smiled, ignoring the sound of the front door opening and closing again.

A disheveled and drunken Eren made his appearance in the Arlert living room, stopping before the image his eyes discovered, now dulled by the emptiness of loss and sleepless nights.

Gray eyes met the turquoise ones, and Mikasa pulled away from Armin as an invisible, sharp spear pierced her chest mercilessly. Eren felt jealousy and misery; Mikasa, disappointment and hurt, Armin, sadness and pain, at seeing how stubborn his best friends were. Mikasa left before anyone could utter her name. When Eren pronounced it, the letters floated in the air, vanishing instantly like sugar in water.

But between them, the sugar was so pure and sweet that it was almost impossible to vanish it completely.

"What were you doing with her?" Eren accused, as he watched the motorcycle move away from the Arlert mansion. Weary of being alone, the boy had gone to his best friend's house, half drunk and shivering from the cold, having forgotten to cover himself well before leaving. However, his physical discomforts became temporary forgotten as soon as he discovered Mikasa's shape in arms of his best friend. The image piercing his heart.

"What are you talking about, Eren? Mikasa is still my friend."

"And a very close one, isn't it? Am I wrong, Armin?"

"What's wrong with you, Eren? Has alcohol affected you so much?"

Outraged, Eren shook his head in fury. His disheveled brown hair covered half of his face; He was no longer interested in tying it back, he had even forgotten how to do it. If Captain Ackerman had seen him at that moment, he would have stared at him with contempt and without hesitation he would have told his sister that a repugnant hobo like him was not acceptable at all.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with me at all. I'm out."

"Eren, wait! Things are not how you think!" Armin shouted. But before he could stop his best friend, the door was slammed shut, and Eren had disappeared behind it.

The winter had arrived in Trost, mercilessly freezing everything in it path.

But for Armin, that season had never been colder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"C'mon, Mikasa. Cut the straight face and smile a little; I didn't get you out from under the sheets for this."

Mikasa snorted, her chin resting on her hand as she looked out the window, sitting in the backseat of Connie's car. He and Sasha were in the front seats; Connie was humming while driving, and his girlfriend was lecturing her best friend.

"I told you I didn't want to come, but you dragged me out of bed against my will," Mikasa replied with a deadpan expression and cold voice. Sasha snorted.

"Well, I'm not going to let you waste away locked up there, you hear me? You do nothing anymore, just study and work, and you're going to kill yourself if you continue like this."

"Kay. As you say, Sasha."

"In addition, Nikolo's cooking is delectable and I know you won't want to leave the restaurant."

"I'm not you."

Both heard Connie snort, interrupting the chat. Sasha did not understand why her boyfriend was grumbled every time she brought up the boy she had met at the summer cooking school her father had sent her vacation to. The dark-haired girl continued to look out the window, while Sasha tapped her belly, imagining the taste of the dishes she would eat. Connie looked sideways, frowning slightly.

"Well, what's wrong with you?" The girl asked, as her boyfriend parked the car near the restaurant. He shook his head before getting out of the vehicle and headed to the entrance. Where a blond boy with pale skin and good-natured eyes gasped with pleasant surprise when he discovered the silhouette of the brown-haired girl waiting for him at the door.

"Sasha!" he exclaimed joyfully, removing the white cap from his head as he ran towards her.

"Nick!" she said in response. The hug Connie witnessed was not at all to his liking. The boy's voice took him out of his hypnotic anger.

"I thought you wouldn't come, dear Sasha."

"And miss the opening of your restaurant and your meals? Of course not! Hey, she's my best friend," Sasha announced, pointing to Mikasa. Her finger turned to Connie. "and he's my boyfriend."

Nikolo smiled broadly, shaking both of their hands.

"Sasha told me a lot about you. It is a pleasure to meet you both."

"Yeah, as you say. Are you going to offer us a table or not?" Connie's voice rose rudely over them. The boy was still frowning, and it did not help that Mikasa elbowed him to make him behave. Embarrassed, Nikolo nodded.

"How clumsy I am. I saved one for you. Follow me please," announced the wavy-haired chef. Sasha, Connie and Mikasa obtained the most comfortable and best placed table in the restaurant, near the window and the music platform. Sasha did not take long to place her order, nor did her boyfriend, although a little reluctantly. Mikasa, who seemed less interested in being there, was grateful to at least have a place to look at while Connie murmured his annoyances under his breath and his girlfriend only scolded him, claiming that Nikolo was the kindest person she had ever known. When the Lasagnas order arrived, the honey-eyed girl seemed to sink into a different world, one where everything was edible, and the smell of the newly served dish rocked her, transporting her to unimaginable places in a bed of exquisite aromas. Mikasa had to hold her best friend's hands and prevent her from eating like a beast. Connie did not seem very happy with the chef's presence, who preferred to stay until the end to get a criticism from the girl he liked so much.

"Nikolo!" It was the first thing Sasha could say when she finished the dish, with eyes tearful of emotion, and desire to devour a second round of lasagna. "You are a genius!"

The chef's cheeks burned like embers as he blushed.

"I- I could bring you one more, if you wish. On the house."

"Aaahhh!" Sasha screamed, calling the attention of the other diners. Mikasa covered her face, embarrassed. "You are my god, Nikolo!"

"Oi, oi, oi!" Connie replied, visibly pissed off. "Am I invisible?"

"No, but you don't cook."

Sasha seemed to be drunk on happiness at the prospect of eating a second plate. Nikolo smiled, though somewhat stifled by his friend's jealous boyfriend. Mikasa was chuckling, mocking the situation as seriously as she could, and Connie was now much more irritated than when he entered the restaurant.

"You should marry Nikolo. That way he would cook you all the time," The comment of an inexpressive Mikasa almost caused Connie to jump out of the chair.

"What? You too, Mikasa? Why are you so cruel?" Connie was about to cry. Alarmed, Sasha put her hands to her head and let out a shy laugh, before holding her boyfriend to calm him down. Nikolo could not get rid of his shame until he got out of that situation.

"I'll come back later. I'm sorry, Sash," said the chef, running away as fast as he could. He would be back later, just as he had said, bringing to the table a second order of lasagna, just as delicious as the first. Sasha could not help but mock her boy's jealousy, the first time he showed it in all the time they had been dating. Her best friend would mock them both in silence, and she would probably use Nikolo as an excuse to annoy Connie when her spirits returned to her. The chef bid them farewell with ice cream for dessert, and Sasha could not leave happier. As they left, a teenagers' choir illuminated the atmosphere with Christmas carols that accompanied the first snowfall of the year, and Mikasa remembered again the absence of her scarf. Connie and Sasha walked in front of her holding hands, and she preferred to look away, hiding her hands in the pockets of her coat. It was cold. Her exhales formed clouds of icy smoke and snowflakes adorned her dark hair messily. The streets of Trost began to light up, and despite the snow, everything seemed warmer around her.

However, she was cold again. She hated winter once again.

_Kasa ..._

The voice was distant. The gray-eyed girl had lost herself somewhere in outer space.

"Mikasa!" Sasha shouted, making her react violently. "Let's go buy hot chocolate. It's really cold."

"No I don't want. I already ate enough. I'll wait in the car."

"It's okay," Connie announced, taking something out of his pocket. "Here, the keys."

"Thank you," Mikasa replied, diverting her steps from her friends'. But before separating completely and turning in the corner, the girl stumbled over the figure of someone unexpected.

Then her gaze met with that pair of emerald eyes that set off everyone of their nerve endings.

How much time had passed since they last saw each other? Five? Six weeks? They did not know it, but Eren's eyes shone with sadness at seeing her again. Hers fought terribly to not give into shock.

Connie and Sasha watched them with tense anticipation, holding their breath as if they were about to witness an unavoidable war.

Faye looked at them too; However, she soon hid behind her older brother like a scared puppy. Soon as gray eyes traveled to her, looking at her as if they wanted to explain to her in a second the reason for her absence. Faye was angry and hurt, and Mikasa knew it. Tension hung in the air as thick as the snow that covered the sidewalks as it snowed.

"Mikasa ..." Eren's voice pierced her ears like firebolts. Mikasa had not been aware of how intensily she had longed to hear her name come out of that mouth until that moment. Her gaze met Eren's in the middle of an agonizing trance.

"Faye ..." the girl said in a broken voice. But the kid never left her hiding place, and she did not see fit to look at her either. A second later, an unexpected and unknown force had pulled her out of the abyss into which she was about to fall, grabbing her by the arm to move her away.

"Kasa!" Connie shouted, who had not been slow to realize the discomfort that was eating at her friend. "Hurry up and come with us, it's cold."

Mikasa was ripped from the scene with the speed of a lightning bolt; nobody gave her time to react, cry, talk to him or simply refuse to do so. Eren reached out for her, but his fingers only caught the air. Green eyes met gray and then lost trace of them again. At the same time the girl's friends dragged her away from him.

"Mikasa..."

"Leave her alone, Eren!" Sasha squealed, frowning, before disappearing from his sight. He was not after her and she did not object to being torn from him once more. Bleeding hearts sent heart-wrenching cries in protest for their desire to meet again, touch each other, undress and love each other. However, mouths did not speak and the minds fell silent. Mikasa was taken away, and Eren stayed there, around the corner, remembering the thousands of times she had stumbled upon him at a point like that.

Faye raised her withered face, driving the sadness and bitterness of her childlike gaze into her brother's defeated face.

"She's gone, just like everyone else," said the girl, being stronger than the slight menacing tremor of her voice. "Will you be gone someday too, Eren?"

Eren felt so much and his heart was so weak. For a moment he asked the heavens if a mere mortal like him could resist the pain that riddled his insides, the same one that cut Mikasa's lungs like a double-bladed knife, preventing her from breathing. The irony of sharing the same agony separately was laughable, cruel, unfair, and the emptiness of silence mocked them. Reducing them to two bodies that moved mechanically. They were nothing more than walking empty shells. The coincidence was painful and cruel.

The boy did not answer his sister's question. He could not, not even if he wanted to. Faye always thought that childhood was a safe place, one where nobody died or left.

But now she had to learn to live with the distaste of a world where adults were ripping apart every one of her dreams.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The motorcycle stopped in front of King Fritz Elementary School. Mikasa removed her helmet, parked and got off of her vehicle to walk towards the red brick building whose walls echoed with the childish voices of the little apprentices. Her gloves and her woolen cap were not removed upon entering, as the cold of early December was merciless. With tired, or perhaps fearful steps, the girl went up to the second floor, looking for classroom 3-A, where Hanji was the class head. Teacher Zoe was already waiting outside, after being announced through the loudspeakers, leaving her students busy with some activity that required silence. Mikasa greeted her sister-in-law, and the woman in glasses nodded.

"You wanna talk to her?" Hanji asked, pushing the frame of her glasses with her index finger. The girl nodded.

"But please, don't tell her it's me. I know she doesn't want to see me, but I need to talk to her."

"It's okay."

"Thanks, Hanji. I'll wait in the playground," Mikasa announced in a muffled voice. The third grade teacher returned to the classroom. One of her fifteen students made a noise again, until she silenced him with a hiss before pronouncing the name of the girl with brown hair and absent look. "Faye?"

"Yes, Miss?" the girl replied, shaking her head to forget a thought. Teacher Zoe opened the door a little more.

"Someone's waiting for you outside."

"Is it my mom?"

Hanji shook her head.

"Go to the yard and see for yourself."

For a moment, Faye's eyes lit up like stars. She thought of all the possibilities: Zeke was outside with Pieck, and both had come back not to leave again, and that's why they had wanted to go to school to give her the good news. Or maybe dad. Yes; dad had come home at last, and that was why her teacher had asked her to go out. Faye dreamed awake, dreaming was beautiful and made her hopeful.

Faye dreamed for a couple of seconds, and when she ran down the corridor and went out to the playground after wrapping herself. Once she was outside she only saw the dark-haired girl who was no longer her nanny.

"Faye!" Mikasa gasped, holding the girl's arm to not let her go. "Please, don't go ... Listen to me. Just a while, ok?"

Reluctantly, the child turned toward her. The disappointment and sadness had taken a hold of her face. The young woman knelt in front of the young girl and held her hands, hoping that Faye could understand her. The snow stained her pants and froze her nerves, but she did not care.

"What do you want?" the little girl asked coldly, although inside she only wanted to ask her babysitter to come home. However, her wounded pride were much more powerful.

Mikasa sighed, overwhelmed. Her gray eyes traveled to the ground, and then back to the childlike face that judged her with a hard and relentless glare.

"Faye ... I know I broke a promise. I know I swore I would never go away, yet I did. But nothing that happened with your brother has to do with you, kay? Eren and I are no longer together, but that doesn't mean that I have stopped loving you ..."

"If you loved me, you would never have left."

"No ... Do not say that, please ... I know you don't understand it now, but ..."

"That's what you told me! You said that we children could not understand the things that adults do and you made a promise to me when dad left, but you broke it!"

"No ... No, Faye. Things are not as you think. I never lied to you, I never wanted to go or leave you. But I had to do it ..."

The child screamed again, interrupting her. Her little hands clenched in fists, trembling with anger caused by her pain.

"You lied to me! First Zeke, then Dad, and then you. If all adults lie like that, I don't want to be an adult. Never! I don't wanna see you or them. They abandoned us. Dad left Mama and me alone and you too. You left Eren alone and now he just gets drunk and yells all the time. Dad left mom and she cries every night ... " Faye caught her breath between broken sobs. Feeling mad for allowing herself to cry, the child angrily wiped away her tears with the edge of her coat, before they became traces of frosty snow on her cheeks.

"Faye, you must listen to me and let me explain ..."

"Don't explain. You are a liar. I thought you were different from other adults. I thought you were different from dad or Zeke. But you are the same as them. You are a liar just like everyone else. And I don't want you to come back or be my nanny."

Her words hit Mikasa like a slap. Frozen, she watched as Faye wipe her tears again and ran inside the building, leaving her at the mercy of winter and the guilty thoughts that hammered her head. The girl disappeared at the end of a corridor, behind a door, and Mikasa looked for the exit with absent eyes and heavy steps. Before Hanji could reach her, the motorcycle had already started moving away from everything, including her own life, if possible. Was it not possible to stop the world and turn everything off inside her?

Mikasa's heart squeezed under the power of guilt, making it bleed. Faye was right.

She was a liar. Just like Eren.

Eren.

Now she felt exactly how much she had broken him that afternoon when she decided to leave his life forever.

And still, Mikasa Ackerman swore that she could not forgive him, let alone continue breathing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The Ackerman case was a media business now. The unresolved murder of Samuel and Tamara Ackerman and the investigation that their son had carried out had been the target of press and media. They had latched on as soon as an arrest warrant was launched against the person presumed to have been the crime mastermind. Billy Tybur had fled the country a couple of days before the operation of Trost's police force began, as if he had been tipped off in advance of the approaching capture. The Shiganshina police, connected to the case, worked alongside Trost police, and Commander Erwin Smith returned to visit his friend, fully determined to arrest all the culprits.

"Levi, getting frustrated is the worst thing we can do at this moment."

Erwin's deep, authoritative voice echoed through Captain Ackerman's office windows. With a couple of sheets in his hand, Levi sat on the desk, reading over and over again the files belonging to the Tybur and Co.

"I'm not frustrated, Erwin. But I'm sure that someone among us is hindering the investigation and the operatives. Kenny escaped from prison; then they tried to kill Leonhardt, and now Tybur escapes the country. This shit is too suspicious and I need to know how to get to the bottom of it."

They both fell silent for a few seconds. Erwin frowned, and it was as if his bushy eyebrows were coming alive all of a sudden.

"Did Berner give you some answer about Grisha Jaeger's whereabouts? Finding him is a key piece in this. The letter and the documents his son gave you are not entirely valid without his testimony against the Tybur and Kenny."

Levi had been holding back. The commander noticed when he saw him clench his hands in fists.

"Damn Kenny," Levi's vocal cords trembled slightly. "In the end, my sister and I always knew ..."

"There was no reason for them to listen to your suspicions. The only proof against him is the letter Jaeger left. Not even the forensic files, nor the money that he stole from you and Mikasa when your parents died could prove anything against him. How could you accuse him without having anything to prove it?"

The captain's fist hit the table.

"I know my uncle. He likes to boast about what he does and more than once I perceived his smugness when he spoke of my parents ... I'm sure it was him who gave the idea to Billy Tybur when they thought of getting rid of them to avoid being exposed to the police for the money laundering and the links to the Tybur family's drug trafficking."

Captain Ackerman took a deep breath before continuing his explanation. His friend knew him so well that he immediately noticed the effort he was making not to collapse. But he would not. Levi had never been weak; emotional, yes, but not expressive, and that was his greatest weapon.

"If dad had listened to mom and we had left Shiganshina ... None of that would have happened."

Erwin raised an eyebrow at his friend's statement.

"How do you know that?"

"I heard them argue several times ..." replied the captain, shaking his head. "My mother said that we should move for some reason I didn't know at the time. Dad said it was not convenient; that Mikasa and I had a life there and that we couldn't leave while I hadn't graduated from the academy and Mikasa hadn't finished school ... They already knew it. They knew that the Tybur used the company for illegal purposes and that's why Mom wanted to leave, but he didn't listen to her ... Everything would have been different, Erwin. All of it. They would be alive and my sister wouldn't have had to witness their death …"

Before Levi Ackerman's eyes dropped to the floor, Erwin stood up and dropped a hand on his shoulder.

"No, Levi. Running away wasn't a guarantee to stay alive. The Tybur would have followed you to the other side of the world. Your parents knew something about them that nobody must know and they couldn't let that go. The Ackerman were targeted by the Tybur family as soon as they learned the truth, and there was only one way to get rid of that problem. You're a cop, you know that as well as I do."

There was silence for a moment. A sigh from the captain cut off the cold air that circulated in the office.

"Fuck ... I want to finish all this, Erwin. I've left my family ... I've taken my daughter's time ... All for this pile of shit."

Commander Smith's huge hand slammed into his friend's back with two friendly pats.

"We're almost there. At least now we know the truth. Soon it will be Christmas or Hanukkah, or whatever you want to celebrate; go with your family somewhere. At least during the winter holidays, and take a short break. Not only will Tamara and Hanji appreciate it, you will, too"

Levi crossed his arms and raised his face, with a serious expression on it.

"You always know what to say. Don't you, Eyebrows?"

Erwin snorted, a smile on his lips.

"Eloquence is my greatest pride, Levi. Now let's get out of this damn office and go for a coffee. I'm freezing."

Winter would be long.

Much longer than Levi could imagine.


	30. How to deal with pain, part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks to my dear Janet and Adri for all their support in this chapter. My fic wouldn't be possible without them. I thank my hoe (drunkeremikatexts on Tumblr) for giving me some headcanons to help with the makeup Eremika scene so I could write it easier. This being said, enjoy.

Levi hated dirt, he hated it at incomprehensible levels; and although Mikasa was almost as meticulous as he was, she kept saying that her older brother was an obsessive maniac. When the documents fell to the ground, Captain Ackerman leaned in annoyance to pick them up, before noticing with distaste the dust accumulated in the base of his desk. Disgusted, Levi retrieved a rag and cleaning product to clean, all the while muttering to himself with distaste about the inefficiency of the cleaning staff.

However, he did not count on discovering something that would leave him completely bewildered.

A small microphone, perfectly located and attached to the back of the desk. The captain leaned forward to get a better look, and his eyes widened as he found the device that had kept him under surveillance for god knows how long without him knowing it. It had been installed so discreetly that Levi hated himself for not having checked for dust before, for allowing anyone to slip into his office like a rat, managing to pass unnoticed by the captain. His eyes did not believe what they saw, and yet the steel-eyed cop did not utter a single word. His knew immediately that he should not remove the microphone. Who, when, how and why, were the questions that settled in his brains while trying to keep a cool head to think clearly. But some of the answers came almost instantly.

Now he understood why the Tyburs had been able to run away before being captured.

Now he understood better Hanji's suspicions that someone was following her when she took Tamara to daycare and went to work, and that had worried him, and that was why he had sent his assistant Moblit to take care of her. Levi held his breath as his mind recounted the most recent and suspicious facts; he had to find out how long the microphone had been there and who was the traitor who had slipped into his office to leave it there.

Police Officer Moblit Berner was his man of confidence, and Levi could be sure he would not lift a finger against him. Captain Ackerman's intuition was known to be spot on. He knew every one of his closest men well and knew they could be trusted.

All, except one.

His sister had accused the redheaded cop of sending a teenage spy to follow Eren Jaeger, and a few weeks later, secrets had been revealed and Grisha Jaeger had fled Shiganshina, leaving his family behind.

Levi knew everything must be connected. He had no doubt about it.

Angry, the captain left his office, walking to Eld Jinn's desk, one of his trusted subordinates. No one there could hear their conversation, except the two of them. However, he had to make sure before finding any more unpleasant surprises that could expose his plans.

"Eld," the captain called softly, but authoritatively. The blond, warm-eyed policeman looked up at his superior.

"Sir?" the officer immediately pronounced before him. Levi wasn't late to give his answer.

"I need you to watch over Porko Galliard."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Armin was done.

He was tired of trying to convince Eren not to throw his life away. That winter, Armin could not count the times he had had to take care of his best friend, finding him in a state of deplorable drunkenness amidst the depressing disorder of the apartment where he lived. Tired of not being able to instill a little common sense in Eren and make him wake up. Not even Carla could make her son come to his senses, let alone his best friend. Maybe only Mikasa could do something, but Armin shook his head with regret when he remembered that something like that was unlikely.

The boy snorted, frustrated, seeing the figure of his friend pass through the door of the club with lazy steps and pitiful aspect. The red scarf covered half of his face, and his long, brown hair fell disarranged over his shoulders. Eren walked directly to the bar after shaking the snow off his feet, and without hesitation took the first bottle of whiskey his his hands could reach. Frustrated, Armin hit the long wooden counter and disappeared on his way to the second floor. As Armin walked away, Annie came out of the bathroom closet while removing a headband from her head. She and Armin had been cleaning for a couple of hours, preparing to receive the club's employees and the first customer of the days. Her blue eyes followed Armin until she lost sight of him, and then stopped at the lean figure of the brown-haired man; Eren stared off into the nothing, Annie watched him, disappointed.

"You're a mess, Jaeger."

Annie's voice rose over the place like a tired whisper. The turquoise eyes turned toward her coldly and without interest. The reek of alcohol was instilled on him, despite not having drunk a single drop that day. The whiskey bottle had not been opened yet.

"And why do you care?"

"I don't, but I care about Armin."

Eren snorted. Annie rolled her eyes impatiently.

"Well, I don't give a shit."

"You're an ungrateful jerk, Jaeger," Annie replied with bitterness and seriousness. Judging by her frown and the tone of her voice, Eren knew she was pissed. "You have family and friends who love you, and still prefer to drowm in your own pity."

"Well, that's none of your business, Annie."

The blond girl frowned.

"It wouldn't be if Armin was not involved. But if your life is miserable, his will be miserable too because he is your best friend. You've always been an idiot, Eren. A selfish asshole who cares about nothing but his own well-being; I thought Ackerman had made you change, but no. You're still the same douchebag as always, only now you know the difference between hurting others and hurting yourself at the same time and that's what doesn't let you live ..."

Eren grumbled, interrupting her.

"Shut up, Annie."

"No, I won't. Think hard about what you do, Jaeger. Do you think that life is being unfair to you and that you don't deserve this? Well, let me remind you that life isn't fair, and I hope you understand ..."

"You don't know anything about what happened. You have no right to reproach me."

"Maybe not but the state you have fallen in is pathetic. You wallow in pitty while the people around you suffer because you've been pissing away your life in the recent weeks."

"No! It wasn't me. My brother and my father are responsible for all this! She blames me for something I didn't do. That's what happened," He declared raising his voice, hoarse and painful. Annie gasped in frustration, tilting her head.

"Oh, wow. I guess you wanted me to congratulate you for lying, right? You're gross. Stop acting like a damn child who always blames others for their mistakes. For once be a man, Eren. Assume the consequences of your actions ..."

Angry, Eren rose from his seat and walked toward Annie, cornering her between him and the bar.

"Consequences? What consequences ?! What did I say? What did I do wrong ..." before Eren could finish his angry interrogation, Annie kicked him in the calf, making him fall to the floor. Stepping on him to keep him down.

"Be an asshole. That's what you did," the girl replied, shortly before removing her foot from his chest. "Lying to someone, hurting people who love you and pretending that everything goes on as usual."

Eren snorted with rage and rose to his feet, impatience boiling in his veins like hot oil.

"Put yourself in my damn shoes, Annie! What did you want me to do?"

"You put yourself on hers, Jaeger. What would you have done if you were in her place?" Annie spoke calmly but with authority. Eren would not dare to corner her again. "What would you have done if Mr. Ackerman and Levi had destroyed your family. Leaving you and Faye without parents, alone and helpless? Then you realize that the person you love knew it, but hid the truth from you. Think of Faye, and what she would feel living without your mother for every important milestone like first dates, first heartbreak, graduating, getting married and all that shit. Come on, tell me what you would have done?!"

Eren's fists hit the bar, shaking the whiskey bottle that rested on it. Disappointed, Annie crossed her arms, watching the vortex of despair consume the brown-haired guy.

"Now you're on her side just because you feel guilt, Annie? I bet you do."

The girl snorted, letting out a short, sardonic laugh.

"I don't feel guilty, because I had nothing to do with what my dad did. But if you were sensible enough, you would put yourself in her place and try to understand her reaction."

"And who the hell tries to put themselves in my shoes? Tell me! Tell me who!. Tell me who the fuck tells her I never wanted to hurt her and who tells her to believe me, Annie."

"What she does or thinks about you is not my business. The real problem is what you're doing to people who care about you, but I guess that doesn't interest me either, and if I mentioned it, I only did it for Armin. Believe it or not, he suffers a lot seeing you in the state in which you have fallen so miserably. But again, it's your business, Jaeger. I just hope that for once in your life you stop being selfish and think about those around you. No one deserves this, and neither do you."

Annie walked away, upstairs. Eren sighed as deep as possible, sinking his head into his arms as he wondered if Annie was right.

But Eren Jaeger was too stubborn to immediately accept that he had been wrong all this time.

Just like Mikasa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

One year.

Christmas reappeared, and with it, the colorful lights came on again. The star shone again on the trees and the children waited anxiously at midnight to get their gifts. On that December 24th, little Tamara Ackerman would finally turn one year old, and at her mother's wish, the house had been flooded with gifts, food and children's music. Some babies her age from her kindergarten had been invited along with their mothers. As had Uncle Moblit, Uncle Erwin and the Zoe grandparents. Like a proud and grumpy dad, Captain Ackerman carried his daughter in his arms wherever he went, while Hanji, laughing, told her parents about the comical journey of the family the day Tamara was born, a year ago: Levi confusing the keys of the car with the house's, driving nervously and in opposite direction to Trost Hospital while she mocked him and her own contractions. The laughter echoed above the music, and Erwin's being the loudest. Levi, although he did not want to, could not avoid the subtle smiles that escaped him when he remembered that night. His wife could not be happier, watching the way he left his usual quiet and reserved ways to talk about his family, and even his own parents, and how happy Samuel and Tamara Ackerman would have been to meet their granddaughter.

The joy that filled the place was so great, that everyone had forgotten the presence of the most gloomy and quiet figure in the Ackerman household that night.

Far away from the bustle and laughter, Mikasa sat at the window and watched the snow that covered the streets of Trost on Christmas night. Sasha was not there, she had gone to her father's house in Shiganshina, like she has done every year before. Sitting on the window frame with arms wrapped around her knees, she remembered painfully that exactly a year ago, a red scarf had been wrapped around her neck, away from the eternal cold that stabbed her heart, and how cruelly it had returned to her, as if mocking her suffering.

A year ago, after Tamara's birth, someone had saved her in all possible ways in which one person can save another.

A year ago, as the snow blemished the dark color of her hair leaving traces of flakes on her, a pair of warm, ginger-flavored lips had left an indelible mark on her own.

In her mind was drawn the intense and fierce figure of a pair of turquoise eyes that countless times had undressed her soul. Tired eyes looked at a photograph, through the blurred and crystalline lagoon the tears.

 

 

 

Eren was sober that night.

With the red scarf in his hands, Mikasa's ghost roamed the room. Her perfume still permeated the walls, just as it had done the last time they had made love on the bed he now ignored. The scent of the few pieces of clothing she had left in that place tormented him. The kiss of the photograph he held in his hands seemed implausible, like the dream of a tortured spirit that had no choice but to create a fantasy in the midst of an agonizing existence. Nothing seemed real, not even pain. Eren Jaeger just wanted to rip out the organ that throbbed inside him and throw it away, along with his brains; but then how could he remember her? If he erased her out of his mind, how could he live again? A year ago, on a night just like this, he had kissed her for the first time, and since then an invisible thread had united the two lives that were destined to meet. Even in the most absurd of scenarios and in the most absurd of worlds, no matter how they were connected.

She was for him, and he was for her.

That's why, that Christmas night, Eren decided to forgive himself and go look for her. The snow and cold fogged the glass, and its downcast reflection was marked in the mirror, making him shudder. Entire sleepless nights, whole days without living had made him a walking shell. Determined to end his agony, the boy took the car keys and closed behind him the door of his apartment, sure that his soul would come to life once again as soon as his eyes came back to see her.

 

 

 

"Mikasa?"

Hanji was the only one to notice that the girl was wrapping herself up warm, and that she had subtlety taken the keys of her motorcycle. Closing her eyes as she sighed, Mikasa turned to the woman in glasses, hiding her hands in the pockets of her coat.

"Yes?"

"Are you going out? It's cold outside, you want to freeze? Levi won't be pleased to know that you'll be leaving at this time of the night. Where are you going?"

"Uh ..." wrong choice. Hanji knew that Mikasa would lie, the moment she heard her stutter, gaining time to come up with a convincing answer. "I'm going to Armin's house. His grandfather invited me to spend some time with them tonight. I'll come back ..."

"Nah-ah. Don't lie to me," Hanji interrupted sternly. "You don't have to tell me the truth. But wherever you go, please take care of yourself, kay? We're still a little paranoid about what happened to you last year. I don't want something like that to happen again."

Mikasa nodded, shuddering inside at the memory.

But in spite of everything, Eren was all she could see in her head.

"Can you cover for me with Levi, please?"

Hanji nodded this time.

"Then go now, before he asks for me or for you. I'll tell him that you're upstairs."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Better come back soon."

"I will."

The girl went out, wearing a dark blue hat as she walked to the garage in search of her vehicle. Christmas carols were heard everywhere, in houses and streets; the lights on inside houses gave a feeling of warmth that Mikasa missed and had lost the day she decided to leave Eren behind. Her mind activated again the memory of the fireplace warmth in the Jaeger house, and the warm hands that had wrapped hers, fading the cold of her fingertips. She must leave her pride behind, and admit that she needed him just as her lungs required oxygen. That she craved for him in inhuman and unimaginable ways, and that she would give anything to get to Zeke's apartment and find him there, sunk in alcohol and memories. That both of them would rebuild the pieces of what they were, and they would make it again. That she would forgive him, because she was not complete without him.

Because she breathed his breath and he breathed hers.

A snowflake fell on the gloves that covered her hands, and the girl looked at them sadly. The memories hammered her head without respite, as did the effervescent desire to see him again, The desire to close her arms and legs around his naked body, as the green of his eyes melted the gray in hers, and together they became again the same symphony.

The motorcycle was turned on, on the way to the Stohess suburbs. The snowplows had cleared the way for the few vehicles that moved on the road at that time of night, and the old Kawasaki crossed the avenue quickly, while a white BMW drove to the Ackerman's house, on the other side of the road.

Their paths crossed, their souls clung to each other like two butterflies that clumsily collide with each other, crashing, being drawn together. But they did not notice it, and the wheels continued to travel until they were out of sight. Fate cruelly teased them, letting them unknowingly come close but not letting them unite.

The snow screamed and the heavens burned with pain.

And it was like that every winter day seemed to become increasingly cold for them.

.

.

"Miss Mikasa, did you come for Mr. Jaeger? I haven't seen you around for a while."

The building doorman's voice took her out of her trance. Mikasa blinked several times, as if waking from a dream, wondering if she should make her way to the elevator and go for Eren; at the same time, another part of her brain insisted that she should have never driven there. But it was useless to go back. She could not back down at that point.

"Uh ..." she stammered, before being able to say something coherent. The doorman interrupted her again.

"Mr. Jaeger went out. It's Christmas. I thought he would be with you."

Mikasa shook her head in denial.

"No ... Not really ..."

"You can go up and wait, if you want. I doubt he'll be late."

_It's not a good idea, Mikasa._

_But then, why did you come? Wasn't this what you wanted? You're so stupid._

Mikasa had to silence the voice of her conscience as soon as possible.

"I think it's better if ..."

The doorman shook his head, smiling, when he saw her walking back, with the clear intention of leaving the building.

"It's cold outside. You should go up and get comfortable. Mr. Jaeger will be happy to meet you at home when he's back. Merry Christmas," the man warned her, handing her a silver key that he took out of a glass case embedded in the wall. She looked at it for a few seconds, and without noticing her own movements, her feet had taken her to the elevator entrance.

"Thank you," she said to the doorman from where she was, just before the floodgates opened. "Happy holidays to you too."

When the doorman nodded, the girl had disappeared from his sight, and the elevator made its way up to the third floor.

.

.

Eren shook his feet on the rug at the entrance to the Ackerman house. He rang the bell, fixed the scarf around his neck and waited for someone to hear his call. An old man with glasses and a hooked nose appeared behind the door with a baby in his arms. Tamara seemed happy to see him, but the old man seemed to hide her from his sight as he turned slightly to the left.

"Are you looking for someone?" the old man asked. A gesture on his face told Eren that he was Hanji's relative.

"Uh ... I'm looking for Mik -"

"Hanji!" The old man shouted from the door with a loud voice, above the music that floated to cross the threshold of the door. "There is a boy here who looks for you!"

There was no doubt that this was Grandpa Zoe. The brown-haired woman answered the call immediately, taking the baby in to her arms.

"Eren!" She exclaimed in a whisper, as if hiding from someone. From the entrance, Eren could not see the origin of the voices that came from inside the house. "It's a pleasure to see you. What are you doing around here at this time? It's almost ten o'clock at night ..."

He stuttered. To Hanji's eyes, Eren was no more than a shy and scared child.

"I came to..."

Hanji sighed before the boy could finish.

"She's not here, Eren. She went out, but I don't know where she went ..." The brown-haired woman's mouth stopped as soon as her eyes noticed the movements on the boy's face. He seemed disappointed, as if the weight of grief and sorrow wanted to knock him to the ground. "However, you can wait for her ..."

"No," he declared immediately. She had tried to make him go inside. "It's not necessary."

"I'll tell her you were here..."

"No, Please. Don't tell her anything, it's better that way," Eren paused, as if his lungs ached as he breathed. Hanji watched him sadly. "By the way ... Happy birthday, Tamara."

The baby turned her head towards him when she heard his name. Hanji smiled, as Eren took a small velvet box from his pocket to hand it to the woman.

"What?" Hanji exclaimed, surprised. The box had passed to her free hand.

"Mikasa and I ... We had planned to give this to her a long time ago. It's a bracelet with her name engraved."

Hanji gasped with emotion. Tamara held tightly to the white gold jewel as soon as her mother tried to put it around her wrist. With eyes full of tears and a sad half smile drawn on his lips, Eren watched the scene, moving back.

"It's a beautiful gift, Eren. I don't know how to thank ..."

"You don't have to, Miss. However, I would have liked to give it to Tamara under different circumstances ... Anyway, Ill be going. It's cold, and you two shouldn't be out here."

"Eren, I think you should come in and wait for Mikasa ..."

"No. I won't do that. See you later, Miss Hanji. See you later, Tamara," He said goodbye, ruffling the baby's hair before walking away. The child and mother said goodbye, and the Ackerman house door was closed as soon as the BMW moved away on the road.

Eren would end up in a bar, drowning his sorrows in alcohol, for the umpteenth time that week.

After searching for the scarf all over and being unable to find it, Mikasa would find herself on a familiar bed. She would hug the sheets on the boy's bed, the one where they had made love in so many times, and she would inhale his scent that had impregnated the fabric, until falling asleep. Hours later she would awaken, clean the apartment and leave at dawn, under the flakes that lazily fell over Trost, staining her with the winter cold. Half of her soul was left in that room, never having returned to its owner since that cold night. Eren would go back drunk, and the recent absence of the dark-haired woman would infect his lungs as he inhaled her newly infused scent, just like the most deadly poison.

The absence of both had never been crueler.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Tamara, take that out of your mouth!"

As expected, Tamara didn't listen to her aunt. Mikasa walked from one place to another, cleaning the mess of toys scattered throughout the house that her niece had left. Now that she knew how to walk, she did her best to get out of her crib and run around getting into shenanigans. It was Friday, the first of the new year. Levi was in the police station, Hanji was running a children's event at school and Sasha too was working at that time. Mikasa would take care of her niece until the others got back, and then she would go to the restaurant where she worked as a pianist until the last of the customers had left.

It was snowing again, and cold blanketed the windows until they were completely covered with the white of snowflakes. At the Ackerman household, the fireplace was on, and the dark-haired girl was preparing a milk bottle for Tamara.

"Papa ..." the little girl said while her aunt wiped her lips after feeding her.

"The midget isn't here," Mikasa warned with the child in her arms, walking towards the window to close the shutters. "He'll get back later."

"Mama?"

"She'll be back later too. You need to go to sleep. Wanna sleep with Auntie?"

"No sleep!" Tamara shook her head vehemently, taking her finger to her mouth. Before her aunt answered, someone knocked on the door. The last two blows were drowned by the gust of cold wind that hit the street, and Mikasa waited. Three more strokes, and a familiar silhouette appeared before her eyes when she glanced through the peephole in the doorway.

Carla Jaeger was standing on the porch, shivering with cold despite the heavy, expensive coat she was wearing. The girl soon opened, and a smile was drawn on the brown-haired woman.

"Carla..."

"Hi there, my dear. I apologize for coming without warning, but I didn't know if you would like to receive me ..."

Coming out of her unexpected and uncomfortable amazement, Mikasa nodded, opening the door completely.

"Come in, or you will freeze out there."

The door closed again. Carla left her coat on the coat rack while watching the baby.

"She's Tamara, right? She's your spitting image, Mikasa. May I hold her?" In a second, the child had been passed into Carla's arms. "Oh my God. How come I haven't met such a beautiful thing before?"

Tamara watched the woman's movements with curious eyes as Carla admired the little girl's face. Mikasa disappeared, returning after a while with a cup of hot chocolate for the woman.

"Here. For the cold. I wasn't expecting you, Carla."

"Oh, thank you, sweetie. Well ... coming here was a last minute decision," Carla declared before taking a sip of chocolate. Tamara touched her hair and tried to bring it to her mouth. Mikasa wished with all her heart that a certain name was not mentioned.

But her hopes were not so high. Carla Jaeger could not be there for any reason other than Eren.

"Hmm. I hope ... Faye is ok."

"Faye is fine, as fine as possible, although ... lately she does not talk much," Carla stopped, and Mikasa sensed that she was trying to evade a sensitive subject. "But look how beautiful you are, Tammy. It's been a while since the last I saw something so small and innocent. The captain and Miss Zoe must be so in love with this cute baby, isn't that right, little princess?"

Tamara always responded to loving care with a smile and a flared laugh. She was a happy, laughing child, something like her a little lively version of her aunt. Stunned, Carla kept admiring her. The scene left Mikasa with a vision of said woman with a different child in her lap, one with black hair and green eyes. She had to shake her head slightly to free herself of such thoughts.

A grandchild, a little baby, Eren's son and hers.

That wasn't possible anymore.

"I'm relieved to know that ... That Faye is fine."

Carla nodded. Tamara continued trying to eat her hair, and the woman smiled, melancholy marked the warm expression of her amber eyes.

"Eren used to do this when he was a baby ... It's amazing to see how much time has passed, yet I still remember it so clearly."

Mikasa gasped, and the tip of an invisible stake touched her beating heart, reminding her bitterly that her wound had no intention of closing.  _God, please, don't let her continue_ , she repeated to herself, however, she knew her prayers would be useless. She did not intend to speak or respond to the comment. She did not want to and shouldn't, even if she did not understand the real purpose of Carla's visit, who planned to continue her story calmly.

"My son used to be as tender as Tamara ... And although he has changed a lot, he's not a bad boy ..." there was a pause. Mikasa looked away from Carla, and the woman continued. "You know why I'm here, right, dear?"

The girl was slow to answer.

"I know. But this -"

"Just listen to me, please?" Carla pleaded with energy, causing Mikasa to return her eyes to her. "Eren is not the only one who failed you, Mikasa,. I also failed you by not apologizing on behalf of my husband when I learned that he had been an accomplice in something so horrible. I didn't know either, or at least I did't know that Grisha was involved until he left and Eren told me everything ... But I did know that my stepson had been part of your parents' murder, and I never told you. I tried to convince Eren to tell you the truth, but I know that if he didn't, it was because he didn't want to hurt you ... My son was afraid of losing you, Mikasa. I know Eren better than anyone. I'm his mother, and I know how much he loves you. I have seen him cry, lose himself in anger, I have seen his frustration and his pain, and I know that hiding the truth was something stupid; But doesn't love make us stupid? Don't we do silly things for the person we love?"

Mikasa could not answer. The specter of a sob remained trapped in her throat, waiting for the right moment to escape. However, her eyes had already flooded with sadness that accumulated in them like drops of salt water.

Tamara said something that Carla did not understand, but apparently it was a sign that she wanted to go down. The woman smiled at the baby and let her go, and Mikasa ignored the scene, swallowing hard.

"I don't ..." the girl pronounced. However, her vocal cords did not respond. Carla shook her head.

"I'm not asking you to get back with him, Mikasa. I'm just asking you to forgive him. My Eren is like the walking dead, please, I can't stand to see him like that."

A couple of tears escaped the girl's eyes, running down her face. Mikasa cleaned them quickly with her fingers, but that did not stop them from falling, sliding down her cheeks until they fell to the floor and died there.

"Faye must also forgive me ... And you too. I made a promise to her and I didn't keep it. I don't want her to hate me ..."

"Mikasa ..." Carla stood up and walked towards the girl, reaching out her hands. "Faye doesn't hate you, just as I know you don't hate Eren. And I, my daughter, have nothing to forgive you for."

A warm and close embrace followed the brown-haired woman's words. Mikasa sobbed in Carla's arms, her forehead resting on her shoulder, as Carla caressed her head in the same way that only a mother could comfort.

"I love him," the girl whispered between choked whimpers. "I love him, but he hurt me ..."

"Then make the wound close, but by his side. Do it, only when you consider that it is the right time, but never stop telling him. Do it together, for the good of both."

Carla saw the girl shaking her head slightly. However, she did not object to this. All she did was kiss her forehead and hug her again.

"My mother was the same as you," The girl mentioned, so softly that Carla could barely hear her. The woman raised her face so that she could look into her eyes.

"I can't be your mother, Mikasa, but I can be your friend, okay?" Mikasa nodded. Carla smiled a motherly and welcoming smile for her. "You know you can come home whenever you want. Faye and I will always be waiting for you."

"I know," The girl replied as Carla moved away from her to say goodbye to Tamara with a kiss. "Can't you stay a little longer?"

"I need to go pick up Faye, but I'll be waiting for you at home next week, in case you want to come and have dinner with us."

Mikasa nodded. Carla smiled and took her coat to wrap it over her shoulders before leaving. But the girl stopped her the instant a second flurry of arctic air stirred her hair and pierced her marrow.

There was a second hug, stronger than the previous one. Mikasa loved Carla too, and because she wanted to get rid of the horrible feeling of emptiness and loss that the winter blizzard left in her, as if that could mean a last hug.

"Thank you," Mikasa pronounced. Carla kissed her hands, before her feet made there way from the Ackerman house, on the way to her car.

"Thank you, for appearing in my son's life," the amber-eyed woman muttered as she entered her vehicle. Mikasa did not close the door until she saw the Mercedes move away, losing itself in the distance, vanishing like a gray and solitary spot that timidly tainted the white snow of the streets of Trost.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A cold beam of sunlight at its highest point hit the green glass of a bottle that had fallen to the ground, breaking in two. A drop of liquor slipped from one of the peaks caused by the rupture, and fell into the puddle of crimson liquid that stained the entrance of the bar where Eren had been assaulted, after falling drunk. Without a penny in his pocket and a bottle of liquor in his hand, the boy was snorting on a platform, drunk, his clothes covered with snow and mud, while his mother's voice echoed in his head. Carla's voice, imploring, pleading her son not to leave the house, followed by his quick and angry retort, before leaving her behind.

And so, Eren had left, promising that this would be the last night he would drown his sorrows in alcohol.

But there he was now, under the freezing midday sun, far from home and causing pity for those who passed by him. His long brown hair and his sparse beard gave him the pitiful image of a beggar. But he could not care less. Armin had abandoned him, or so it seemed, just as Mikasa had; his mother mourned his absence and his sister resented his neglect and the abandonment of all the adults around her. And in the middle of his drunkenness, Eren wondered if his existence made any sense, after having fallen into the darkest and deepest hole.

With languid steps and dejected spirit, the boy walked away from that bar, ready to return home. He would apologize to Carla and Faye, and thus he would uncover at last the well he dozed in by his own will. However, the alcohol in his veins delayed him and made his movements sluggish, causing him once fall again on the sidewalk of a lonely street.

The fiery, green-eyed and brown-haired boy lost consciousness, before hearing a voice that would take him out of the abyss.

.

.

Mikasa left the concert hall through the back door. The icy cold of early January made her shiver as soon as she saw herself outside. It was midday, but the sun seemed to be covered with a thick layer of ice, as if it wanted to cool itself.

"Taxi!" she yelled, brushing the hair back from her face when the breeze made it enter her mouth. A vehicle stopped in front of the alley and the driver opened the door, while the young woman struggled to keep the case of her violin on her shoulder and her coat closed. The struggle stopped when she got into the car and could be freed of the weight of her instrument.

"Where do you want me to go, young lady?" the driver asked, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

"To the Karanese neighborhood, please," replied the girl, smoothing the edge of her dress with her hands. The man in front of her nodded and the engine was turned on, however, before he could advance even an inch some thing made it impossible for mikasa to leave. "No, stop, please."

"But what -"

"Stop. Can you wait a moment, sir?" she insisted, her eyes fixed on the figure lying on the sidewalk. The taxi driver nodded and she got out of the vehicle, running immediately to the man on the ground.

The empty highway allowed her to run freely.

Mikasa would have recognized that brown, long, loose and messy hair, thousands of miles away.

"Eren?" her voice sounded drowned, nervous, terrified and shuddering. The pain and guilt that accumulated in her throat quickly fell to her insides, sending nervous impulses to her entire body that led to sadness and turned to tears.

The man's drunken body could barely move. At least he breathed, but that was not enough for the girl to stop worrying. She pushed the bottle of liquor in his hand away from him and bent down to pick him up.

"Leave me alone ..." Eren mumbled with lazy and drunken words. A corner of his brain told him that the voice was familiar, but he was not aware enough to worry about it.

"Eren, get up, please ..."

He growled. She took a breath, using all her strength to lift him up and carry him to the taxi waiting for her. She would not leave him there, much less after noticing that Eren Jaeger was too drunk to take care of himself or notice the fact that she was with him at that moment and it didn't bother her. The taxi driver opened his eyes wide, stunned, contemplating the moment when the woman lifted the drunken man without much effort. Mikasa walked with Eren to the vehicle and dropped him in the backseat, next to her violin. The driver swallowed and stammered, still looking at the new passenger and his deplorable appearance.

"To Karanese, ma'am?" the driver asked, a little nervous. Mikasa shook her head.

"To Stohess, please. In front of Sina park."

Not a word was heard, only the engine of the car that turned on again to drive to the pointed destination.

Eren was not aware of the world that still revolved around him, nor of the woman who now took care of him.

Mikasa avoided looking at him during the ride back home, knowing that she would not be able to contain her tears if she dared take in his face.

.

A mess reigned again in the third-floor apartment in the Sina building. Mikasa opened the door, with Eren's arm over her shoulders and sighed at the view, before leaving him on the closest couch. The door was closed and she got rid of her coat, her gloves, the violin and her shoes, before walking to the bathroom and turning on the faucet, letting out a gust of ice water into the tub. She rolled up the edge of her leggings and went back to Eren, who seemed to have no intention of awakening from his drunken stupor.

"Eren ..." she called again, brushing the hair away from his face. "Eren, wake up."

A pair of intense turquoise eyes peered behind eyelids. He saw her, swearing that the presence of the woman in front of him was nothing more than a trick of his drunken mind. Then he shook his head vehemently, and she held him to keep him from falling to the ground.

"I'm dead, aren't I?" he questioned, in the midst of his drunkenness, as clearly as his sleeping tongue allowed. Mikasa gasped when she heard his question. "No no. If I were dead, I would be in hell, but you are too pure to be in a place like that. I must be dreaming..."

The girl choked back a sob, and one of her tears fell on Eren's arm.

"Don't talk nonsense and come with me."

Her voice did not break, despite her pain.

Eren was taken to the bathroom, and a desperate scream was heard when she had him enter the icy water of the bathtub. He tainted the water with his dirty clothes, water spilled and wet the dress and leggings she had tried so hard to protect.

"Get me out of here!"

"I won't," she answered energetically, but calmly, while the cold water slid over the boy's head and clothes, awakening him harshly from his alcoholic trance. Despite the circumstances, Mikasa helped him undress, evading his gaze as much as possible. However, his pair of turquoise torches did not move away from her.

_Dump-dump. Dump-dump..._

Like two perfectly synchronized clocks, their hearts beat again, one in time with the other.

Eren did not say a word when he got out of the tub. Neither Mikasa.

Silence invaded the room and the foundations of their pain as she wrapped a towel around him and made him sit down again to shave the miserable goatee that he had let grow by his intentional carelessness. The girl seemed focused, avoiding looking at him, as she had done all this time. But...

He could not stop watching her.

And the silence continued hungry, devouring their words.

Eren shivered, dizzy. She turned on the heating and brushed his teeth without a sound. Voices gathered in their throats, eager to free themselves, and their words hid, fearful of betraying the desire that consumed them by rejoining in a frantic dance.

"Why are you here?"

_Dump-dump. Dump -..._

Mikasa's heart stopped when Eren's voice invaded her senses like deadly poison.

She did not look at him. The blade slid for the last time on the boy's skin, removing the last of the remaining hair.

"Because I couldn't leave you on the street," she answered, cleaning with a towel the remains of shaving foam from his face.

"You shouldn't have bothered."

"You shouldn't have gotten drunk."

Silence again.

Eren sighed before saying another word.

"Apparently, that's the only thing that I'm good at."

"I don't think so," she protested. He snorted.

"Ain't that the truth? Well, look at me: I'm a walking shit show."

"Eren, please ..." pleaded the girl sadly. He looked at her fiercely.

"Please what?"

With tears stinging the gray of her eyes, Mikasa looked down.

"Don't talk like that."

"Why? Isn't that the truth?"

She shook her head.

"It isn't."

A pause. For a few moments, only the heavy breaths of two were heard.

"No? Then tell me why you left me and now you come here, to take care of me as if things were the same? Do you feel sorry? Pitty? Or is it that you want to play with me?"

"Eren, do not make this harder, please ..."

"Tell me, Mikasa. You shouldn't even be here. Not when you know that the only thing you do is reopen the hole you left the day you left this room and you didn't come back."

Mikasa could not help it. Every word that rolled from his tongue was like a poisonous stake to her hurt heart.

She pulled away. He grabbed her wrist, keeping her from moving away.

"Eren, enough ..."

"No."

"I should leave..."

"No. You won't leave until you give me a valid reason why you left me that day. Since then I can't sleep, I can't live in peace while I still see you everywhere like a damn ghost, even if you're not here anymore."

Mikasa stopped struggling with him, and in return, she gasped in outrage, glaring at him. Eren did not let her go. And he wasn't willing to do it.

"A reason? Do you think it's nothing to have done what you did? Is it really that such a minor thing to have hidden the truth for so long?"

"I already told you why I did it!" he roared, anger boiling in his veins. He released her wrist, but he did not move away from her. Anger reflected in his eyes like two burning green flames. "I told you I didn't want to lose you, that I was afraid. But you didn't care; you keep acting like a hypocrite who blames me for everything that happened, as if I had something to do with it. But, do you know one thing, Mikasa? I did nothing. I'm just a victim of my dad and my brother's mistake, just like you. And you know; I know you know. But you don't give a shit."

"No, Eren. No," the girl's voice, weak and famished, shook like an earthquake. "Things are not as you say. You think you're the only one is suffering. You complain about how hurt you are, but you hurt me first. You lied to me, Eren."

Frustrated, Eren kicked a chair, holding his hands to his head.

"And you think I did it for fun? fuck! Do you think I wanted to do something like that? For months I racked my brains trying to find a way to tell you the truth without risking what we had, but everything went the other way, and look. Here we are now, you hating me and I ..."

"What?" The breath got caught in her throat. "Where do you...? Eren, I don't hate you ... I would never ..." Mikasa snorted. "This ... This doesn't make any sense."

Eren could have sworn that his eyes did not notice the moment the girl left the room, on her way to the living room. Her intention, probably, was to leave. But he was not willing to let that happen either.

"Don't go," he pleaded with energy; however, his voice threatened to show the agonizing plea that was hiding in his throat.

"I shouldn't be here."

"Why not? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of forgiving me?"

"What? No ... Eren, please ..."

"Then let's talk. Stay with me and let's resolve this once and for all. I don't want to be away from you any longer. It's not fair, it's not right ... It's not ..."

"Eren ..."

"Please listen to me. Just a minute. Just one..."

Before realizing it, Mikasa was trapped between Eren and the wall. Green eyes devoured gray ones. The scent of ginger and spearmint of Eren's breath invaded her senses, making her dizzy, enveloping her again in the warmth of a home she had longed to feel again. The boy's fingers trembled at touching her again, inhaling her intoxicating aroma and touching each corner of her skin with his lips. She gasped helplessly, knowing that she would not be able to resist his seductive and sinister purpose. She was lost. But hadn't she been wanting to get lost with him, too? The corners of their lips touched each other awkwardly, as if he asked permission to kiss her; anxious, Mikasa slid her hands up to his shoulders, while Eren held her in his arms, pressing her to his chest and then joining in a sweet and gentle kiss that would soon become the most greedy and merciless one. Need, desire, despair, a confused kiss between love and anger led Eren to tear at her leggings. In an instant, her leggins were torn and her legs were around him. The dress she was wearing soon joined them on the floor, as did the towel that covered half of his body. Together they could have melted the snow that fell outside with all the heat that radiated from their bodies.

"I want you, Mikasa."

Their mouths joined again and Eren's hands went to her back to unclasp her bra.

A few seconds later, she suddenly stopped kissing him. He waited, watching her with tense anticipation. She put her feet on the floor, closing the bra he had just undone pushing him so she could pull away.

"I can't," she replied in a weak voice, avoiding looking at his nakedness and visible boner.

"What wh -"

"Eren ... I need time."

Mikasa moved away, picking up the dress from the floor quickly covering herself. Bewildered, Eren turned to her, watching her every movement.

"Time?"

She was slow to respond.

"...Yes. Time."

"Time for what, damn it!" he claimed aloud, covering the erection that had now become a humiliating blow for him. "We've had plenty of time. Weeks. Months! Is it that you can't see how desperate I am? Can't you see that I want you? That my body yearns for you, and that everything in me screams your name, Mikasa? I just want to kiss you, touch you, make love to you, and now you say that shit? I'm not guilty of any of this. I didn't do any harm to any fucking body, but here I am, paying for my fucking families mistakes, and you say you need time?"

"I'm confused, Eren ..." she explained, with her back to him as she got dressed again. She decided to ignore and abandon the ripped leggings.

"You are ..." the boy put his hands to his head in despair, as if fighting with himself, trying not losing his sanity. "Confused... Why, damn it ... You must be kidding."

"No!" This time it was her the one who lost her temper. "If you understood me at least a little, you would stop complaining about how unfair everything has been for you, and you would think how unfair life has been with me for eight years, Eren! Then I have to deal with the fact that the person I love hid the truth from me, and pretends that nothing has happened, when in reality, this is the worst thing that you could have done to me. I can forgive you, yes, but don't ask me to act as if I didn't care, and as if you were the only one hurt here, because it's not like that."

"Well, you should get over it already, Mikasa. They are dead! They died eight years ago and there is nothing you can do to change it. Don't you understand?"

Eren had fucked up.

The sound of a cracking crystal heart pierced both their ears. That was the most painful and sharp dart Eren had thrown at her.

Mikasa's eyes moistened with tears. It was like having crashed against the cold and implacable wall of reality, and her despair burned like hell. The girl stifled a scream, covering her mouth with the back of her hand, watching the instant when Eren's eyes were filled with immediate repentance. However, she was not sure she could carry something like that.

Eren ran after her as soon as he saw her walk to the door, grabbing her wrist so he would not let her go.

"Let go..."

"No ... Fuck, no. Mikasa, forgive me. That's not what I meant, damn it ..." With a choked voice, Eren cleared his throat. "I don't want you to go. I'm sorry."

"Let me go," she said, her voice a mixture between demand and plea. Eren was not about to let go, and it was as if all the strength in her had run out. "What's done is done, Eren. Nothing will change what you just said."

"No! What I meant was ... That you need to continue living your life without torturing yourself with the ghost of your parents' death ..."

Mikasa snorted bitterly.

"Do you think it's easy?" she replied, freeing herself at last. Her ragged breathing weakened her words, and the tears slid shamelessly over her cheeks. "I saw how they cut my mom's throat in front of me. I saw her and dad's blood stain the floor. I had nightmares for years because of the people who murdered them. The Tyburs, John Leonhardt, my uncle, your father and your brother ... Yes, maybe you're right and I should have let them go long ago; but it is impossible when their murderers are still free and there are people willing to cover them."

"Mikasa, I'm not -"

"Shut up! You don't know shit, Eren. You don't know what it feels like. Your father left, but he's alive, like Carla. You don't know how it feels to see those who gave you life die right in front of you; You don't know how it feels to be an orphan and alone, with an older brother who needs to work until late at night to support you. You don't know what it is to lose everything. That's why you say I have to get over it. You should put yourself in my shoes and know what I feel every time I close my eyes and watch them die, again and again."

Eren fell silent; deep down, the boy knew with certainty that there were not enough words to make amends for what had come out of his mouth. Mikasa swallowed her tears, picked her things up and walked to the door with a dignified gesture. A part of herself told her to leave and leave him behind, but the other part just...

Did she really want to leave? Was it her desire to finish everything there, in that moment and just like that?"

Her doubt increased as Eren's hand grabbed her arm, letting everything fall to the floor.

"Forgive me please," the air compressed his lungs, making his voice catch on the walls of his throat. She shook her head in denial, sobbing without looking up. "Mikasa..."

"No."

"Don't go."

"Leave me alone."

"Mikasa, please ..."

"I wish I had never met you," The blow he had given her was cruelly returned to his own soul. "I wish I could turn back in time and not have met you, or let you ruin the little sanity that I had ..." She paused. Eren seemed to die with every word that rolled from her tongue. "You were right: I hate you..."

Silence.

Neither of them seemed to understand what was happening. Not even Mikasa. He wondered if what he had just heard was true; she looked at him fearfully, repentantly. This time, time deserved to be returned, and thus to vanish the words that had so lacerated them.

Eren pulled away, as if his fingers had turned to sand as he released hers, and his eyes became a pair of turquoise lagoons. Mikasa fell to the ground on her knees, and her crying could not be contained for a second more. Eren leaned his back against the wall, and the weight of his sorrow made him slide to the floor, his eyes lost in nothingness and his chest empty; he was not even sure he could continue breathing. She did not either, and the stillness consumed them.

For a few minutes, the movement ceased in that place. Only painful and exhausted breaths were heard.

A few minutes later, the boy went up and walked to his bedroom with his head down, his soul broken, after dressing quickly with the first thing he could take he made his way to the front door. But Mikasa ...

Mikasa could not allow him to leave so suddenly. Not like that, without telling him that what had come out of her mouth was not true. Eren took a breath to say something, however, nothing came out of him. She waited, and her eyes watched in fear the moment he grabbed the doorknob to leave.

"Eren," she called, her heart beating in her throat. He stopped. "Don't leave."

Eren turned to her.

"Why do you want me here for? Do you want us to hurt each other again? No, Mikasa. Maybe you're right; maybe we should never have met and you would be better now."

"No ... Do not say that, please."

"You just said it."

"That's not the truth."

"It is. All my family and I have done is ruin your life. And I don't want to be part of that anymore."

Eren opened the door a crack. Mikasa closed her hands in fists, tensing her jaw.

"Eren, don't leave."

The anguish connected them, and also the desire. Both sought an excuse, one more reason not to get away.

"I hope you're not here when I get back, Mikasa."

She took a breath before saying another word.

"If you cross that fucking door, I swear I'll kill you, Eren Jaeger. I swear to God," The girl's metallic and resounding voice made him look at her. The door was closed, and the green of his eyes merged with the gray of hers. "Come here."

Eight steps was all that was necessary for two hungry souls to collide with each other again. Anxious, the brown-haired man ran towards her, crashing with her body and mouth in a ravenous kiss charged with electricity. Electricity that invaded their senses, muscles and blood streams. Eager to feel him against her body, Mikasa wrapped her legs around her man, lost in the ravings of her skin. So needy and demanding of each other, they did not bother to remove their clothing. Her dress pushed up, panties moved aside, his pants undone and pushed down just enough to expose him. Avid kisses, anxious bites and moans, and thrusts that stole little by little the breath that was left in them. Eren dug his fingers into her fleshy ass, burying himself in her, claiming her as his once again. The fire seemed eternal between them, it did not cease even when pleasure built to a climax and left the two gasping. She leaned her head against the wall, and he leaned his forehead against hers, never letting go of her thighs. He would not let her fall. Everything had been quick, but the desire of both did not give wait. Standing there, Eren caught his breath and covered her face with fleeting kisses, while she clung tightly to his neck, as if she was afraid of losing him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Forgive me," he sobbed while kissing her. She nodded, slid her hands up to his face and locked it in them, closing her eyes to kiss him one more time.

"I'm sorry too. Please, please, forgive me," He stopped her by crashing his lips against hers, he could taste the tears that had left her eyes. "I love you. You know I love you, Eren."

With gentle hands, Eren wiped away her tears and caressed her lips, before pulling apart. He half smiled and lifted her into his arms to enter the room they had left minutes ago, when they both believed there was no turning back from what seemed irremediable.

"I love you too."

Shaken by the glitter of those gray eyes, Eren laced his lips with hers and she held him against herself as she felt his hands on her back, pulling at the edges of her dress to get her rid of it, undressing her slowly. They smiled, looking into each other's eyes and undressing bodies and spirits, as if that was the most sublime and heavenly moment of their lives. The dress fell to the floor, next a pair of pants that Eren carelessly threw away. Devoting a mischievous kiss and a crooked smile against her neck and shoulders, taking his time to kiss every corner of her velvet skin and praise her body as he continued. Mikasa gasped, feeling the fire reignite in her belly, demanding more from him. The winter sun grew warmer as it filtered through the window and touched her skin, sharing with the boy's hands the joy of gliding over her in a pretentious and longed-for dance. She kissed him again and he let her fall on the bed, to devour her with his eyes and contemplate her with the desire that boiled in his gut. Eren's warm mouth left a tickling and unforgettable trail of burning kisses all over her skin. Traveling down her body from chin, to clavicle, to breasts, to abdomen, hips, navel, pelvis, thighs, until he reached that spot that made her grab the sheets and the hair of the man who kissed her core with avidity and overflowing passion. Mikasa bit her lip and moaned his name between intermittent sighs, imprisoning his head between her thighs, between involuntary convulsions of pleasure and jerky movements that made him laugh and tear with happiness, remembering how much he had missed her. This was his paradise, the place where he drank of her velvety delicacy as if it were the nectar of the gods of Olympus. The walls of the room witnessed the desperate breath that came from the girl's throat, when her legs tensed and relaxed on the bed. Eren's mouth made its way north until it concluded its journey on her lips, making of her his favorite place.

She smiled when kissing him. Without saying a word, Mikasa pushed him carefully until he fell on his back. Her tongue wanted to taste him, sheathing with her mouth the exquisiteness of his warm and erect sex, licking, sucking with restless desires. The hell of his longing, awakening the last of his nerve endings, shedding from his body thousands of ruthless gasps that drew the name of the dark-haired woman. Before finishing, Eren stopped her, pulled her up and held her in his arms, imprisoning her between him and the bed. Thousands of universes detached themselves from the pleasure of their bodies like drops of sweat, both of them vibrating at the overdose of love, that kind of love that messed the heart up and made their breaths indomitable. Their bodies made harmony in every pore of the skin when Eren thrusted into her, strong, hard, slow, frantic, restless and sweet, wanting to express his feelings in every possible way, telling her with every movement how much he regretted having hurt her. Looking into her eyes with fierceness and warmth, because she brought out the most deranged tenderness in him. Mikasa closed her legs around his waist and her arms surrounded his torso and neck, with her nails making a home on his skin. The dance was slow but firm, taking the time to make their desire long and extend the pleasure, enjoying physical love as much as possible. Eren adored her voice and the screams that cried his name, the moans that got into his ears and swallowed as he kissed her. Both delighted in the repeated and persevering step of his flesh inside her, flexing every muscle, every line that marked on their bodies to the boastful and delirious clash of their skins. She sobbed, between lunges and merciless kisses. He stopped his lips to look at her, still sinking into her as much as his body could. Mikasa clung to his eyes, his hands and his soul, her retina full of melancholy and longing. It was then that he spoke, still moving.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked fearfully. She shook her head.

"Eren ..."

"I'm here..."

The girl squeezed her eyelids when one of his thrusts cut her breath.

"Don't lie to me again. Pl - "she gasped, her nails embedded in his back leaving bloody wounds, feeling deeply every thrust. "Please..."

Green eyes consumed grays fiercely. Eren laced his fingers with hers and both let out an agonized, burning sigh; he did not stop. She died and came back to life in his eyes and body, and each beat, each pulsation had his name written on her chest.

"Never again."

_Never again._

He spoke, and she trusted him blindly, because she knew he would not hurt her again. Suddenly, Eren felt attacked by her love like an apocalyptic hurricane; because she wanted to give him what she had received, love him in the same way he did with her. Sitting on him, dominating him under the spell of her hands and eyes and her tongue playing in his mouth, with her fingers resting on his chest, moving over him, riding him with force, with passion, with such solemnity that even the angels were jealous of her way of making love to him, looking at him as he lost control when he became her prey. Even nature resented the way she covered his body with her own, not wanting to be apart from him. She gasped, breathed, moaned; he sighed, whispered, murmuring praises against her skin, filling her with all his being. Mikasa Ackerman could count on her fingers the times she had been fully happy, and this was one of those times. That night, Eren Jaeger was the luckiest man on Earth. She was his, he was hers; and not even God could deny it.

"How...?" He said, breathing hard in the middle of his sweaty ecstasy. Mikasa let out a long, panting moan, feeling his fingers traveling over her skin, making her tremble under his touch.

"How ... How what?"

"How is it that one can ..." he stifled a moan. "be so in love to ..." Eren let out a breathy sigh. "feel that the world is not enough to support the weight of my chest?"

She moved steadily, slowly, her lower lip between her teeth, joining her forehead to his, one hand on his shoulder and the other tenaciously closed in his hair. Eren's fingers spread traces all over the girl's body as they ran out of strength, while both put to the test the bed's structure.

She shook her head. Their lips were laced and the girl's hands came down to the back of the man who loved her, as if that could make his thrusts more intense.

"Eren," She gasped against his mouth, already out of breath. He mumbled a short answer. "I don't know, but ..." She let out a choked sob the instant he touched her weak spot, rubbing it as delicately as he wanted to. "Don't leave me. Don't turn away from me, please."

"I won't. And you, don't do it again, because I couldn't stand it."

"Never..."

Their mouths devoured each other eagerly. Their bodies trembled at the delightful threat of a glorious, triumphant, mutual and exhaustive culmination.

"I love you, Mikasa."

She nodded vehemently, clinging to him until she concluded and died beneath him and with him, at the same time, stifling a scream that was lost in the imprudence of their rough breathings. Both closed their eyes, one on top of the other, hugging each other, swallowing hard and recovering from the fervent scene the two of them were leading. Mikasa snuggled into his chest and he slid his fingers over her hair and over the scar on her right cheek, lacing their free hands so that she could take his fingers and kiss each one of them, reminding him between whispers and thankful words all the times he had saved her from the nothing, and even from herself, asking for his forgiveness again and again for having hurt him. Lazy kisses and sweet words closed that evening; she was the first to fall asleep, and Eren watched over her dreaming, wondering how he had been so lucky to find her yet undeserving.

Then, looking at the cold sun of early January through his room's window, Eren knew that there was no other woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Only her.

Only Mikasa.

.

.

Levi Ackerman caught up with Kenny as soon as Porko Galliard was interrogated and imprisoned for his collaboration with the Tybur family. Spying on Trost's police operations for them. The young redheaded policeman confessed to having persecuted Eren Jaeger to threaten his father and silence him; He confessed to having watched, unsuccessfully, the Ackerman household and family, as well as he confessed being the one who installed the hidden microphone in his superior's office so that Billy Tybur could know the movements of the cop who hunted him. So could escape the hiding places he settled throughout the city, fleeing like a creeping animal without being able to make use of the fortune he had obtained illegally. Levi made him speak, pulling out of him every drop of information that was possible, including Kenny's whereabouts, after the old Ackerman made of Trost his personal den.

Captain Ackerman's special operations squad was waiting for instructions later that afternoon. With strong and firm steps, Levi entered the headquarters main room, keeping his gun in the case that hung from his waist before hitting the table and making all his subordinates look at him.

"Kenny Ackerman knows how the police work because he himself was one of us, so don't make mistakes or make predictable moves. He'll be waiting for you if he can see us. Protect the Jaeger house and don't let Kenny get close; He's alone, but that doesn't make him any less dangerous. If you must shoot him, do it, but don't kill him: I want him alive, did you hear me?"

"Yes, sir!" the squad members' voices echoed throughout the room.

"Move!" the captain demanded. His subordinates left immediately, on their way to the police patrols that would take them to the pointed destination. "Moblit!"

"Sir?"

"You sent the group I asked you to protect my family? We don't know if the Tybur have men watching over me and my people," he asked. Officer Berner nodded immediately. "All right. Now let's go, we can't waste more time."

"Yes, sir."

Levi pulled his phone out of his pocket as he walked to the exit, slid his finger on the screen and dialed his sister's number. But all he managed to hear was the answering machine.

"Stupid brat ... Pick the damn phone ..." 23 calls later, the captain gave up. He would not leave a voice message; after all, it was better for Mikasa to be away while the operation was taking place. Hanji, Tamara and Sasha were at home, protected, and that calmed him down. But his sister ...

He had no choice but to wait for his sister to be safe and sound.

.

.

It was just an hour left before sunset when Mikasa woke up. With her back to Eren and his arm around her waist, the girl rubbed her eyes, turned to him and smiled. She watched in detail the eyelashes that adorned the closed eyelids of the sleeping man in front of her, the smoothness of his lips, pulling the messy strands of brown hair that had stuck to his skin from sweating. The bright sunset light filtered through the window, and she knew it would be dark soon, so she decided to wake him up subtly, spreading kisses all over his face and chest until a pair of turquoise pearls peeked out from under his lolling eyelids. Eren frowned in his drowsiness and grinned widely, as she dropped her hand to his face.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming."

Mikasa let out a giggle when she heard him. Then she shook her head vehemently.

"No. You're not."

A prelude to kisses interrupted the conversation.

"I liked this makeup meeting. We should argue more often," Eren teased her, making her to tilt her head again as she giggled.

"You're crazy, Jaeger."

"Hmm. Maybe," He pressed his mouth against the girl's cheek. Mikasa pulled back to comb his hair, picking up her lover's hair in a quick bun before putting her head back against the pillow. "Let's stay here for the rest of the night."

"Hey, I need to go to work ..."

"Shh," Eren stopped her explanation by putting his index finger on her lips. "Don't go. Quit that job. Come back with mom and Faye and never leave again ..."

"Eren, Faye hates me," she replied with discouragement and a heavy sigh.

"No," he replied, shaking his head. "She just hates what happened, but not you. We can talk to her and explain everything, tell her that everything is fine now. She will understand. Carla wants you back too, Mikasa. You don't need to go back to that restaurant to entertain all those upper-class peeps playing that boring piano ... Don't look at me like that; Armin told me everything. Just quit and we can go home tonight. Mom will like to see us arrive together."

Mikasa watched him with tense amazement for a few seconds. Then she sighed and smiled slightly, as he turned the girl's neck into his hiding place, lacing his legs with hers.

"It will be shameful to ask your mother for work again."

"Of course not," Eren kissed loudly the skin of her neck. "You won't have to ask for it because she'll give it back to you even if you don't say a single word."

"Let's say you're right, I still need to go to the restaurant and resign formally."

"No need to," he increased the frequency of kisses on her neck while holding her closer to his body. "You'll ask Armin to write a resignation letter for you and send it tomorrow morning."

"I need to do it by myself, Eren. And not tomorrow but today."

"Yeah. Whatever."

With a subtle and unexpected movement, Eren settled on top her, getting between her legs and imprisoning her between him and the bed. She moaned at his touch, but she was not going to give in immediately.

"You're not hearing a word I say, are you?"

"Uh... Nope."

One more kiss. She spoke against his lips.

"You're an asshole."

"But I'm your asshole."

This time, Mikasa's mouth responded with the same intensity.

"Why do you want to go to Carla's? We could stay here and go tomorrow morning."

Her words stopped Eren, as if a guilty stake had pierced his insides.

"Because I was a douchebag to her last night. She asked me not to leave the house, but I ran away, and got drunk, and the rest of it you already know. I want to go and apologize, and give her the good news."

"Hmm ..." Mikasa looked into his eyes, thoughtful. This time it was she who gave him a fleeting kiss on the lips. "So we take a bath first and then we'll go to Carla's. Oh, now that I remember it, you ripped my leggings and my dress is a mess," she announced, pulling away from him and covering herself with a sheet to get out of bed.

"No biggie, though. I have some of your clothes in the closet."

"Well, I see that it was an advantage not to come for them ever," the girl commented with a sigh. Eren smiled, shaking his head.

"Can I make love to you in the shower?"

He winked at her. She smiled teasingly, swaying unconsciously. The words were not necessary to know the answer, although both knew that the time under water would be a little longer than normal. It was dark when they both went down to the building parking lot and walked towards the BMW; however, Eren seemed nervous and distracted. Mikasa noticed it when she saw him drop the car keys.

"Eren."

"Hmm?"

"Are you ok?" He nodded. She approached him, gently cupping his face with her hands. "You look worried."

"No, I don't know. It's as if I forgot something."

"All right. We can go back if you remember, okay?" she declared, trying to calm him down with a kiss. Eren nodded again. "Do you want me to drive?"

"Yes. Please."

He handed her the car keys. A minute later, the BMW left the Sina building. She did not bother to turn on her phone and notice the missed calls from her older brother. Completely oblivious to the hell that was about to unleash on a Stohess street, while Kenny Ackerman slipped into the Jaeger house like a dirty rat. A worried Eren watched silently through the window, not knowing what was the reason for his concern; he just wished he could get home soon, make sure everything was in order.

At the same time, a little girl with brown hair and happy eyes was paralyzed, after going downstairs and witnessing the same scene that had marked her nanny years ago.

During that time, Levi Ackerman ran through the Stohess alleys after the man who had destroyed his family, the same man that now destroyed the innocence of a child without any mercy.

Kenny would not get away this time.

His nephew was not willing to allow it.


	31. Fixing hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Uh, here I am, after two months of absence. I'm so sorry. I had some inspiration issues, but finally I'm back.
> 
> There are several things I want to point about this chapter and the first is that, as you will remember, the Ackermans are Jews. That's why they put stones on the tombstones instead of flowers. For Jews, stones mean eternity and the permanence of the memory of a loved one who has passed away. You are welcome. ;)
> 
> The second thing I want to say is that ... Oops, we only have one chapter left until the end. Anything that has not been resolved so far will be concluded in the next chapter. I hope you have enjoyed reading, and forgive this chapter for being so short, but I can not make it longer. And don't worry, I'll make an epilogue, but it won't be long either.
> 
> With nothing more to say, I'll leave you alone to read in peace, waiting for your nice reviews. I love you all. And see you in the next chapter.

"KENNYYYYYY!"

The ragged cry of a desperate police captain echoed through the streets of Stohess', ruffling every hair of his subordinates as they hunted down the dangerous old Ackerman. The man who was fleeing from his nephew as quickly as he could after murdering a few policemen, in the company of a couple of criminals who had joined his cause in expectation of a reward. Kenny Ackerman was quite agile for his age, but Levi knew his movements pretty well, and thanks to that he was able to escape two bullets aimed at him. Shots, patrol sirens and the captain's squad cries whipped and shook the tranquility in Stohess. Beyond the surroundings of the Jaeger house, a white BMW made its entrance about to be stained with carmine liquid of a soul that had just left ...

The thunderous police pursuit concluded with one last shot.

In a last desperate attempt to escape the old man with the hat and boastful laughter took a few uncertain steps before crumbling to the ground, at the end of the back alley. His henchmen had been killed a couple of minutes earlier by Captain Ackerman's squad, leaving him completely alone.

Levi was the only one capable of nailing an accurate 9-millimeter bullet, five meters away, which hit a bilateral artery in his uncle's groin, knocking him down instantly. A river of blood began to emanate from the wound, weakening him, and at the same time, the captain approached him, keeping the handcuffs that hung from his fingers when noticing the seriousness of the shot.

Kenny would not survive.

"HA HA!"

The laughter echoed in the alley, reverberating bitterly in Captain Ackerman's ears. Levi frowned; He had always hated those kinds of expressions in his uncle, and especially now that he had little time left. Neither he nor Mikasa would ever understand Kenny, nor the lack of affection that was so ingrained in his heart. If he ever had one.

"What's so funny?" Levi asked rudely, feet in front of his uncle. With his back against the wall and limbs limp on the floor, Kenny showed his teeth, holding his hand to the wet, bleeding wound.

"Of all those who I thought could kill me..." the old man paused to take a deep breath. Only then would he be able to continue to endure the pain; however, his body began to numb. "I imagined anyone, except you."

Levi descended to the old man's eyes, squatting before him with the gun in his hand.

"After everything you did, this is the most benign way for you to die, Kenny."

The old man snorted sarcastically, pursing the corners of his mouth because of the pain.

"And does it bother you, nephew?" A dry and short laugh came after his words. "Of course it bothers you. Your little sister and you always hated me, didn't you?"

"its what you deserve, isn't it?" The captain's voice hardened, turning metallic. "You took away all we had ... You helped those people kill our parents ... Your own brother. You're a rat, Kenny. You deserved to die as one. This is too little for all you did."

Levi's speech had been tainted by pain and hatred, and his uncle knew it. He knew it so well that all he did was mock, in the midst of his agony.

"At least I lived my life as I wanted, little nephew. I don't regret a single thing I've done."

"You just left a girl without her mother, just like your friends did to Mikasa ..."

"So Grisha Jaeger will know that this is not a motherfucking game ..."

"What's your point? What was the point of this?" The captain shouted, splashing saliva on the old man's face. His anger condensed in his voice. "We're about to catch Tybur and you have no way out, Kenny! What sense did all this shit have?"

Levi grabbed the neck of his uncle's shirt violently. Kenny Ackerman's despicable laugh would be the last memory of him that would remain in the captain's mind.

"Do you know what's the only thing I regret, nephew?" The old man wrinkled his lips as a result of the pain that remained in the bleeding wound of his leg. Levi waited for his answer, impatient, without moving a single face muscle, and his uncle laughed again, this time a little less arrogantly. "I regret not being able to fuck your mom."

A pair of lifeless eyes stared into the emptiness of a dark tunnel with no exit. Kenny's face switched off like a candle, leaving Levi with the distaste of not being able to avenge his last words. The captain snorted bitterly, and his knees touched the ground before he could utter a last sentence, before the rest of the squad came to the place.

"If hell exists, that's where you are now, Kenny."

.

.

The lights of an ambulance and two police patrols blinded the passers-by who walked in front of the Jaeger's house. Before crossing the main gate, Eren's white BMW stopped, with Mikasa driving, trying to decipher the commotion that boiled before their eyes. The girl parked the vehicle in front of the bars and got out of it with Eren, both running inside with thousands of questions crowding in their heads, and fear and uncertainty hammering their entrails.

A yellow security tape surrounded the house, prohibiting the passage of civilians. The brown-haired boy hurried his steps towards the policemen who guarded the place, before spotting the figure of a body covered with a white sheet resting on the porch, under the eyes of people in uniform who took measures and wrote things.

Eren looked at Mikasa and she at him, and in their eyes the specter of a growing and bitter anxiety was fixed.

"What's going on? Let me pass!" The boy yelled, making his way between the police and paramedics. One of them stopped him. "Let me pass! My mother and my sister are inside!"

A brief struggle came between them and the road to the entrance. Mikasa pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, finally discovering her brother's missed calls. A movement of her finger was all that was necessary for Levi to respond from the other side of the line.

" _Mikasa? Where are you? Are you okay?"_ the captain asked, worried. She nodded by pure reflex.

"I'm fine. You need to come to Eren's. Something happened here; there are cops ..." the girl slid her eyes over the scene, and then she saw a corpse covered in white on a stretcher on the floor and swallowed. "There's ... someone ... Come quickly, please. I can't see Faye or Carla ..."

"I'm around. I'm on my way."

The call ended. Mikasa put the phone back in her pocket and grabbed Eren's arm, before raising her voice with authority.

"Captain Levi Ackerman is my brother. Let us go," She demanded, and before the police could say anything, Eren walked towards the body on the floor, where a couple of forensic doctors examined the covered corpse.

His nerves quickened, but his heart stopped, causing a thunderous silence.

The moonlight hit the brown hair of the body that peeked out from under the sheet, and Eren fell to the floor on his knees, at the same instant his eyes recognized the pale, lifeless face of the woman who had given birth to him.

Carla Jaeger had been killed in cold blood, by Kenny Ackerman, shot in the head. She felt no pain, maybe; but her right to defend herself had been denied, as soon as her murderer knocked on the door and she opened it, convinced that it would be her son who waited for her to open ...

Those eyes as clear and sweet as honey would never open again. Kenny would run away, and at the same time, a little girl would be awakened by the dry deadly sound of that bullet that knocked Carla down. Faye would go down the stairs only to see her mother on the floor, when her soul had left her body, and her blood ran away from her, announcing to the heavens the atrocious crime that had been committed.

Eren trembled when discovering the woman's face. His fear and helplessness rose to his throat, forming faint bubbles of pathetic sobs that turned into a hysterical laughter until it ended in a heartrending cry that burned the ears and entrails of the people around him. Mikasa watched the corpse and gasped, as an excruciating sting invaded her brain, just as it had happened eight years ago, the night her parents were killed.

"Not again," She cried for herself. "Not again, please ..." But her pleas were not heard. It was too late to beg. The only thing she could do was cry next to Eren, with her hands on him while the boy mourned among disconsolate moans what he had just lost, clinging with closed fists to Carla's lifeless body.

Then Mikasa raised her face, drying the tears that clouded her vision with the back of her hand and spotted Faye, wrapped in a thick blanket, in silence, sitting on the edge of the ambulance entrance.

It was like looking through a mirror and remembering painfully all that she had lost that night of December 24 in Shiganshina, years ago.

"Faye!" the girl shouted, leaving Eren behind to go with the girl, who did not seem to listen to her. "Faye, are you okay? Look at me, it's me, Mikasa ..."

There was no answer.

Mikasa descended to the height of the girl and held her wizened face in her hands, but Faye did not react. The glow had escaped from those eyes like Carla's, and the joy had vanished from her face, leaving a gray and cold ghost that made her immune to the world that swirled around her. Just like, Mikasa herself had reacted the day she saw her parents die, and that night she swore that Faye would not become the empty shell she had been for so long. The girl cradled the child in her arms and kissed her hair between sobs, still knowing that her answer would be late.

Or that probably, she would never get one.

Not that night.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Losing a loved one is like the layers that make up your heart being torn piece by piece.

It is like falling into a deep abyss whose bottom waits for you with thistles and thorns that are embedded in your soul and cut your breath, suffocating you slowly.

Like running into a dead end and losing yourself in the shadows that consume your mind, taking you to the edge of the desolate loneliness that mocks your sadness and that part of your soul that has just departed.

As if they were tearing a piece of your spirit from body, making you bleed for the rest of your days in bloody agony.

Eren was a bundle of anguish, guilt and grief.

Silence accompanied the throats of the Jaeger brothers throughout the funeral. Hugs and condolences came and went; Sasha, Connie, Annie, Hanji, Levi, Ymir, Historia, with her slightly bulging belly, product of her four months of pregnancy, and even Jean went to the funeral. Reiner and Bertholdt were not missed; it had been a long time since their friendship with Eren had ended. They never communicated again with the boy who now remained motionless in a corner of the room, with Armin's hand on his shoulder and Mikasa next to him, who was hugging Faye, as if she was afraid that the child could fade from her hands.

A minister officiated the funeral ceremony before the burial. Some cried, others simply remained silent, mourning the tragedy that was about to be buried before their eyes. Then, the quiet mourning that reigned over was interrupted by a presence that nobody expected, or even wanted, especially Eren. A pair of eyes of the same color as his own, but tired and rickety, stared at him, an ounce of regret stuck in his cornea.

All eyes turned to the lean figure who appeared in the middle of the prayer, the man in glasses, shoulder-lengthed hair and languid face standing there with pleading eyes. There were gasps of surprise, and a snarl of bitterness rose above the voices that now murmured about his arrival. Grisha looked at Faye and then at Eren; the little girl ran to her father, seeking refuge in his arms after a long and anguished wait. Dr. Jaeger received her, shaking her against him as if it depended on his life...

Yes. His life was about to end at the moment when freedom was taken from him, because he had returned, with full awareness of the crime he had helped cover years ago, for the sake of his eldest son, thus preventing him from being killed. That is why he left when the case opened again, believing that he could protect his family, while in reality he was just putting them over an imminent danger.

His absence made Carla vulnerable, and the end result was not pleasant.

There he was now, with tears in those eyes that he kept fixed on his wife's coffin, until an impetuous force pushed him away from Faye and the group of people, with violence.

"Eren, no!" Mikasa and Armin's voices rose above the whisperings, preventing the boy from punching his father. Before he could lose his temper completely, Eren was held back by his girlfriend's hands when she held him from behind, in an attempt to prevent him from attacking the doctor.

At the same time, Captain Ackerman requested reinforcements through a police radio. Now that one of the accomplices had appeared of his own free will, Levi knew he should not hesitate for a second to do justice.

"You!" Eren roared with the fury of a hurricane, trying to break free from Mikasa's constricting hug without success. "This, this is all your fault! You prevented them from capturing the guilty; you left and left mom and Faye alone! And also me! You're a shitty father; you save people but your family was always a second fiddle. You're a hypocrite, Grisha. That's what you are. What did you come for? Do you think you can fix things now? She" he pointed to the coffin waiting to be buried in a bed of metal bars. "She's dead and she won't come back because of you. Because you abandoned her; because if you had been here, that wouldn't have happened!"

"Eren, stop, please ..." Armin's pleading voice cut through the air, just as Eren's angry speech had whipped the ears of the people there. Grisha was speechless. His son's words were like daggers that cut off his vocal cords, stopping him from producing any sound, while the muffled sobs of a brown-haired little girl interfered with the scant tranquility of those who murmured and mourned the funeral. With baggy eyes and her face wet, Faye grabbed his older brother's pants, begging him to stop.

But Eren did not listen to her.

And at the same time, Captain Ackerman took from his pocket the handcuffs he would apprehend him with in order to carry out the arrest warrant against the doctor for complicity in the murder. Mikasa released Eren, leaving him in Connie and Armin's hands to appease him as she walked towards Levi with broken will and weak spirit, her eyes fixed on Faye's withered face.

"Not here," the girl pleaded her older brother, holding his arm in the captain's way towards Grisha Jaeger, who was waiting in the same place, submissive. "Not in front of her, please."

Levi understood, and nodded.

Faye had already seen her mother die, and she did not need to see her father becoming a hostage of justice. The captain remembered that December 25 morning, and the state he had found Mikasa in, on Tamara's lifeless body. He thought of his daughter, of the little girl who now rested in Hanji's arms, and of the little girl who was crying in silence, not understanding how the weight of the world had fallen on her shoulders at such an early age.

Because death is benevolent to some and cruel to others, and in its way, mocks the desolate hearts of children who have seen their parents die, counting on the misfortune of staying alive, keeping in their memory the ominous memory of loss.

Dr. Jaeger's eyes filled with tears as he was removed from the place. His pupils made a long and distressing journey, from the coffin to his two children until stopping over Mikasa, his eyebrows arched in repentance.

"Take care of my children, Mikasa," he pronounced, just at the moment Levi lead him out of there. Twenty years of prison awaited him the moment he got into the police patrol Levi had asked for, and his children would take a considerable time to see him again.

In a low voice, Mikasa nodded at that request, running to Faye and cradling her in his arms, silently promising that she would never again turn away from her.

.

.

Neither Eren nor his sister spoke when the coffin was taken to the three meter hole where Carla's body would rest forever, followed by family and friends who cried, some in silence and others with more sonority, at the moment when soil covered the wood that marked the end of an existence.

There were no words when the sky opened, forcing many to leave in search of refuge. Faye left with Hanji and Levi, teacher Zoe felt that it was not convenient for the child to remain in the cold silence of a home without a mother and an older brother who had no head or time for her. Armin and Annie said their goodbyes, letting their friend know that they would be available 24 hours, although Armin did not need to say it, as Mikasa already knew.

Kneeling beside his mother's newly covered grave, Eren sobbed at last, sheltering himself in the arms of the only woman who could understand the grief that scraped his guts. The rain soaked their clothes and Mikasa's lips covered his hair with ghosts of glum and tired kisses.

Then Eren understood at last what his head, despite his senses, had dared to deny.

Carla had left.

And she will never come back.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

That place was too big. The echo of loneliness sputtered in every corner of the Jaeger house like a hide-and-seek playing child, furtive and invisible. Grisha had left and gave no sign of returning; Zeke and Pieck did not seem to want to come back, and Carla ...

Carla was gone.

Her essence hovered in the air, and the walls cried out for her presence. Eren walked to his parents' room and inhaled the Channel perfume she had always used; her side of the bed seemed to still hold her figure. Her high, maternal, sweet voice snaked through her son's mind like a thorny snake that spat out memories. Emptiness, sadness and the remorse of not having listened to his mother roamed like ghosts in that bedroom, while Mikasa watched him take a seat at the edge of the bed, with tears clouding her dark gray eyes. The helplessness of not being able to bring Carla to life weighing on her.

With dry, dull eyes, Eren sighed. It had been several hours since Mikasa had last found the vibrant green of his eyes.

"If only ..." When Eren spoke, his girlfriend turned towards him, keeping the distance she had kept until then. She just waited for him to continue. "If only I hadn't been the same asshole as always and had listened ..."

"Eren ..." Mikasa's voice was interrupted when he shook his head.

"She told me to stay home ... But I didn't listen. I never listened to her. I had to argue with her until the last moment because I never imagined that I would stop seeing her one day ..." The boy's sobs became shameless, shaking his shoulders and a guttural sound ripping through his vocal cords. "I took it all for granted ... I took everything for granted and I never realized that I should spend every moment with her as if it were the last ..."

With her fingers on her lips and a lump in her throat, Mikasa tried to stop his torture, approaching him with insecure steps before sitting on the bed.

"Eren, please ..."

"I always thought you were overdoing it ..." Eren stopped for a moment when his eyes finally found hers, devouring each other with guilt and fear. The confession he had just spit was a slap in both their faces. But he continued. "I thought that after so many years you should have overcome that, and now I know it's not so easy ... I was a bastard all this time, right?" Mikasa hastened to silence him, putting a hand on his lips. Eren pushed her away. "I've been so selfish that I never noticed anything ... Maybe I deserve to suffer. I deserve bad things, Mikasa. But not her. Mom did not deserve this ..."

"Please, shut up. Don't say that. I beg you …" The girl's tears choked her sobs, causing her words to jump in agony. Eren freed himself from her hands once more.

"She deserved a long life, you know. She deserved to see Faye grow ... I never respected her as I should. I wasn't even capable of calling her mom ... And she left me without knowing how much I love her, and I'll never be able to tell her … Not anymore. She's gone. She's gone and she will never be back."

The boy's fingers closed on the sheet his mother had been covered the last night she slept on that bed. And he broke, like a dry branch; like the sound of water striking a stone and painfully dividing into thousands of drops. He broke with the pain of souls in torment and those who cry for consolation. Eren broke in the arms of the only woman who could understand his pain, the only one who would remain by his side to the end, and even after the end. Mikasa cradled him in her lap without saying a word, knowing that nothing would be enough to lessen the agony that left Carla's absence in him.

For Eren, this would be the most unbearable winter of all, just as one day it had been for Mikasa, eight years ago.

And from then on, he would learn to treasure every day as if it were the last, with Carla's memory drilling his brains until there was not a single tear left in him.

When he closed his eyes, with his head on his girlfriend's thighs, Eren would dream of his childhood days, with the woman who had given birth to him. And for the last time, he would touch her hands, in the eternal and ethereal world of his subconscious.

That world where nobody could die.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Willy Tybur and all his partners were arrested at the end of January that very year. Intellectual authorship of the murder of Samuel and Tamara Ackerman, money laundering, drug trafficking and falsification of documents; creating identifications in Samuel Ackerman's name to move big amounts of money with the creation of false companies during a whole year. Those were the charges imputed to Tybur and his accomplices, after having mocked the law for more than a decade.

Everything seemed to be solved now, and the guilty got their deserved punishment for their crimes. The prison sentences were according to the severity of their crimes, and justice finally paid off, eight years later.

Everything was returning to its place.

Zeke and Pieck came back from their exile to meet Carla's fatal death and the desolation that accompanied Eren and Faye. With Grisha in prison, Eren now had to manage a large part of the family assets, even if he wanted the opposite. The Jaeger house was too big to be there with just Faye, and his mother's essence permeated every corner, making painful the stay, despite Mikasa's constant company. Zeke would take care of the Jaeger's finances, because he had no head for it.

Silence accompanied him for weeks, until his girlfriend decided it was time to wake him up. Armin had not been able to wake him up from his lethargy, and that frustrated him. But Mikasa was not willing to let Eren and Faye repeat the same story that she and Levi had starred in. Then she remembered all the ways they both always ended up bumping into each other, and she knew they were together for a reason. A reason as unique and unbreakable as the bond that had formed between them the night Eren wrapped her in that red scarf.

To fix each other and together. Break, shatter themselves into thousands of pieces and coming together again, piece by piece, side by side, no matter how many times the world fell over them.

"Don't leave tonight."

Eren's voice cut through the ghostly silence of the room. It was spring, but it was cold; that cold that freezes the breath and makes teeth cackle. Cold that accompanied loneliness as the most sincere friend. Mikasa stopped at the bedroom entrance, as if Eren's arms had stretched to her to hold her. The girl stepped back and the door closed again.

She did not answer. Her feet crawled back to the bed, noticing Eren's silhouette sitting on the bed in the gloom. The weight of Carla's absence still hit the foundations of their pain.

"What about Faye?" The young man asked a minute later, when silence screamed in his ears.

"She's asleep. I wouldn't be out of her room if she was awake."

Eren sighed and Mikasa did too.

"Will you stay?" he asked. She nodded and he could see her answer in the darkness abated by the light of the moon filtering through the window.

"Eren ..."

"Hmm?"

"Faye needs you. Don't leave her alone," she answered, her voice tenuous. There was no reply, but neither was there any affirmation. Mikasa closed her hands around her boyfriend's, and her vocal cords vibrated again. "She needs you more than anyone. Don't leave her alone. She doesn't want Zeke, nor Pieck, nor me... It's you she wants at her side, but you push her away every day, and you don't realize how much you are hurting her."

Shocked by that slight and sudden confrontation, the boy frowned in an introspective expression, somewhat frenzied.

"How ... How do you know that?" he bellowed in confusion. She shook her head.

"Because I already went through it. Because I needed an older brother once when mom and dad left, but he was too busy for me, and he never realized that."

"I ... I'm not like your brother ..."

"I know," Mikasa cut his answer stroking the boy's face with both hands. "I know you're not like Levi. You are the best brother that Faye could have and that is why I ask you to overcome this together; talk to her and let her talk to you. You can't imagine all the weight that would fall from her shoulders if she could tell you what she thinks. And you to her."

A pair of turquoise pools took shape in Eren's eyes, meeting the dark gray of Mikasa's. A pale hand stretched to his face again, caressing that scant and ridiculous mustache that he let grow in the middle of the disinterest caused by his sadness.

"I just can't with this. It's been two months since ..." He cleared his throat. "since she left... And nothing has been the same..." he said in a broken and soft voice. The girl's lips approached his forehead in a fleeting kiss.

"I know. I'm with you. And I will stay with you."

"Don't go..." he insisted, seeking refuge in his girlfriend's lap. She wrapped him warmly in her arms.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Not today not tomorrow. Never. Stay here. This place is too much for Faye and me, and I don't want to be alone."

Mikasa gasped at the implication of that request. Eren listened to her breathing and pressed his lips against her neck persuasively, but not intentionally.

"Eren ..."

"I want to put this place up for sale," The boy cut off his possible speech before she could continue it. "Move with Faye to a smaller house and I want you to come with us. Live with me. I no longer..."

There was silence. She waited, but she only heard him sob quietly.

"No longer what?" the woman pressed her lips on the brow of the man who held onto her with no intentions of letting her go.

"I can no longer be without you, Mikasa."

A sigh escaped the girl's throat, scraping Eren's hair. He raised his head again, eyebrows slightly puckered, waiting for an answer to come out of his girlfriend's lips.

"You know I'll get in trouble with Lev -" a finger crossed over her mouth before she concluded the sentence. Eren shook his head.

"Fuck your brother," he roared in an authoritative whisper that crawled to the girl's marrow, waking each one of her nerve endings. "I want you with me... I need you tonight, Mikasa."

Two hungry mouths collided in an electric kiss, after a drought of months. The clash of the lips devouring each other impregnated that dark room, and the night would conclude in the fiery shock of two naked bodies that closed the night with cathartic orgasms in the middle of the most ethereal union.

Eren did not need anything else.

She was the irrevocable antidote to all his miseries.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Spring brought with it the cold air that invaded the station, and a warm summer brutally assassinated the cracks of its colors, its holidays and rains. Shiganshina shone now with the rays of the June sun, the scarlet color screamed over the rooftops, and the streets were painted gold while a navy Ford drove down the avenue, on its way to the city cemetery.

"Are you sure I shouldn't come for you, Mikasa?" Armin asked, while parking the Ford in the parking lot of the cemetery. The dark-haired girl unfastened the safety belt that tied her to the seat, and grabbed the handlebar of the back door.

"I don't know how long I'll stay, Armin. I haven't come here for a long time. But thanks."

"Hey, you can always call me. Eren would kill me if he finds out that I left you here alone."

"Well, Ackerman is not exactly a baby," Annie replied from the passenger seat looking bored. Mikasa rolled her eyes and Armin chuckled. "She can perfectly take care of herself."

"You're right about that," announced the boy, with a smile narrowing his eyes. "But it doesn't hurt to let her know that we can come for her. After all, she didn't bring her motorcycle."

"Uh, it's fine. I'll call you when I leave, Ar. But don't make me wait too long or I'll leave," Mikasa replied, about to get off the car. Armin started the engine again.

"Okay, it's fine. See you later, Miki."

"All right. Bye," the girl said, and the back door slammed shut as she left. Annie's voice stopped her step and brought her back.

"Ackerman," she called her. A bouquet of flowers hung from her right hand outside the window. "I know you jews don't bring flowers to the graves, but... I hope your parents like them."

Moved by that unexpected and nice action, Mikasa received the bouquet, tilting her head slightly in gratitude.

And she knew that this was the only way Annie had to apologize for what her father had done so many years ago.

"Hey... -"

"Don't thank me. Just …" Annie shook her head and sighed, feeling Armin's hand closing over hers. "Nevermind. See you later."

Mikasa nodded.

"Bye."

"Bye." Armin and Annie answered in unison. The Ford was lost in the distance until it became a small point and disappeared completely among hundreds of cars. Her footsteps seemed to interrupt the sleep of the dead ones, and the rough ground stained her shoes with dust.

It was hot. Mikasa's eyes quickly moved away from the dry grass of the abandoned pantheons. She had never liked that place, but she would not leave until she found the place where the remains of her parents rested.

After seventeen minutes of stubborn and tedious searching, the shape of a David star protruding shyly between many crosses took shape before her eyes. The grass grew green and uniform around the marble plate, meaning that someone had taken care of it. Probably Levi, or maybe Erwin had paid someone for a long time not to neglect Samuel and Tamara Ackerman's graves. Flexing her knees on the grass, Mikasa took two stones out of her pocket and placed them on the tombstone, doing the same with the bouquet of water lilies that Annie had given her.

Her parents' names stood out engraved under the Star of David that adorned the marble, and under the letters, the numbers that indicated the date of their deaths. An inscription in Hebrew and Japanese marked the end of the tombstone; and the photo of her parents remained hidden under the wing of an angel carved in stone as part of the grave's ornamentation.

She sighed, shaking from the last memory she had of them, turning it into the most intense and beautiful one her brain could hold. There was silence for a few minutes. Mikasa had a lot to say, but nothing at the same time, because she was not sure they could hear her if she spoke.

"You guys won't be mad at me for not coming to see you before, right?"

"That's not likely. One thing is certain, and that is that mom and dad never got mad at you. Why would they start now?"

Levi's voice startled her. She did not expect anyone there, let alone her brother. If that scare had been caused on purpose, she did not know it, but Levi did not look like he was kidding. His face looked serious, deadpan.

"Don't do that again," warned the girl, glaring at him as she turned around to see his face. Levi frowned. The reflection of the sun hit his police badge, causing a flash that blinded the girl's sight for a second.

"Why so scared of seeing me here?""

"Tch. Shut up. What are you doing here?"

"I had to come to Shiganshina for some papers and I decided to come visit. I didn't expect to find you here."

"I didn't tell anyone that I was coming here." she murmured in a bitter voice. Levi crouched in front of the grave, and her younger sister remained kneeling.

There was silence again. The gust of air that blew helped them cool off from the unbearable summer heat.

"It's been awhile since you came home since the last time," Levi interrupted the silence with his words. His younger sister looked at him askance.

"It's been just two weeks."

"Tamara wants to see you."

"Tamara or you?"

The corner of the captain's mouth stretched in a cutting smile.

"Why would I want to see you, after I finally got rid of you? You are annoying. Although it's lucky you have left to live with that hobo boyfriend you have, but I must admit that I feel sorry for him."

Mikasa knew that Levi was joking, despite his grim expression. However, he could not help frowning.

"I should feel sorry for Hanji, too. You must be a real headache."

With his eyelids drooping, the captain snorted. They both looked at each other suspiciously, and then they smiled very much in their own way. The smell of freshly pruned grass invaded their nostrils, and was immediately replaced by a new draft of air. Levi sighed deeply and imitated his sister's action, placing two stones on the tombstone.

"Mikasa ..." he called her. She did not bother to look at him, for she was absorbed in looking at her parents' picture.

"Hmm?"

"Maybe I never told you, but I would have liked to be a better brother than I was."

"Huh?" the girl gasped, trying to process her brother's words. It was Levi the one looking at the picture now, with Mikasa's eyes fixed on his profile.

"I realized it too late. I didn't remember that you were just a little girl. I left you alone, let you carry the weight their deaths had all on your own," He declared, pointing with his finger towards the image that rested on the marble. "Now it's been a long time, and I think we can't get it back... You're an adult now. You made a life on your own, and I... I can only say that I'm sorry, here in front of them. No matter what happens, or how many times we fight, I will always be there for you, brat... I promise."

Levi's speech was short, but accurate. He had always been honest and not-so-affectionate man, who did not like to beat around the bush. And Mikasa knew it.

She knew it so well that even without noticing it, a pair of tears slid timidly over her cheeks, as her brain made an effort to ingest what she had heard. Because when her older brother let out his feelings, he always did it at the most unexpected time and way; just like the night Tamara was born, or just like now.

And these moments, were the moments that Mikasa treasured the most. Her brother loved her, although he did not say so, and his confession healed several wounds in a heart that had taken a long time to heal.

Neither of them noticed the moment their arms closed around each other, but deep down they knew that both had waited for that hug for a long time. She sobbed silently over his shoulder, and he thanked God from for giving him one more day with his sister.

"I'm sorry, you brat," the captain repeated, making a superhuman effort to keep his voice intact. The girl nodded from her shelter.

"I know, midget."

With an affectionate pat on her back, Levi pulled away from his sister so he could look her in the eye. Mikasa watched him, and discovered in her older brother, the warm expression that her father used to devote to her when he said good night.

Then, her eyes filled with tears once more.

"They would be proud of you," Levi pronounced, as if his vocal cords had softened. She smiled widely, a sense of wistfulness shaking her senses.

"And so of you."

They both knew it.

From anywhere, Samuel and Tamara Ackerman would always be proud of the children they had engendered.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Faye threw a stone into the sea.

The waves in the water bubbled up to touch the child's feet one after the other, disappearing in synchrony as they spread on the surface. The child looked up at the sky, blinking deliberately with the bright light of the summer sun reflecting off the water, causing small flashes.

Actually, the girl was looking for something up there.

She had heard many people say that Carla had gone to heaven, but no matter how much she looked, she could never find her. Day by day, her eyes only caught the magnificent shining sun, and at night the silver and meek moon. And in spite of everything, Faye watched; she looked and looked, with a little flame of hope inside her that seemed not to want to leave. Eren allowed it, even if it hurt. Because Mikasa had told him that it was not good to kill the child's illusion, being so young. One day, as she grew up, she would realize that it was not right to wait, and then she would stop.

Although she was a few months away from her tenth birthday, there were still traces of innocence in her that Mikasa did not want to let vanish, and she still did not understand death in all its cruel and fateful certainly. Glimpses of adolescence that would soon appear spoke her of that brutal reality, while the reflections of childhood that so desperately clung to her still allowed her to close her eyes to the world she lived in.

"Faye!" Eren called her, sitting on a log near the shore, with his feet in the water. Faye turned her face to him, rubbing her eyes. "Don't do that, or you're going to end up blind."

"Lies," the girl replied. On the way to her older brother, the breeze stirred her colorful dress and the hat she wore to protect herself from the sun. "We're leaving now?"

Eren shook his head in contrast. He patted the log with his hand for Faye to take a seat next to him.

"Why do you like to come here so often?" the boy asked. His feet cringed on the cold sand that covered the shade of the palm tree under which they were sitting. Faye shrugged.

"I don't know. It calms me."

"Oh, does it?"

"Yes."

They both fell silent. The Jaeger siblings were almost the same, with Faye being the smaller, feminine version of Eren, with amber-colored eyes instead of turquoise. They were the spitting image of Carla.

"And why do you want to calm down? Is there something that bothers you?"

Eren's voice was soft and gentle, deep. Faye had always liked her brother's voice.

"Uh, I dunno. I just didn't want to be home."

"Hmm. I see. We could go to the beach house if you want."

"Yes," the girl answered with interest, but without much enthusiasm. Under other circumstances, Faye would have reacted with excitement, but Eren sighed bitterly when he saw that his little sister's usual joy would take long to get back.

"We could invite Armin to play video games with us."

The girl's face wrinkled with displeasure.

"Ew, no. And have to see his ugly girlfriend? No thanks."

Eren snorted, stifling a laugh. Faye had never liked Annie, much less now that she was dating Armin. Nobody knew how much longer that childhood on the blond boy crush would last.

"If you say so."

"I prefer to see how you and Mikasa smooch around instead of having to deal with her," Faye declared, without changing her face. She was really upset; but Eren only laughed to himself. A new breeze made them cover their faces so as not to be hit by the sand that rose from the ground each time the air blew.

"Hey, I want to tell you something."

When Eren spoke, Faye pulled out a bottle of juice from a small backpack. Opening the bottle, the girl nodded and settled back onto the log.

"What's wrong? Are you and Mikasa going to have a baby?"

"What the hell...? No, you little brat, where did you get that idea from?"

"It's what Sasha says. That you and Mikasa spend your time making babies, but she never wants to tell me exactly what you guys do."

Faye spoke so naturally and innocently that Eren could only cover his face with resignation as he watched his sister drinking her juice.

"It's not something you need to know. Not now. Or better, never. And don't listen to Sasha."

"Okay. So, what were you going to tell me?"

The brown-haired boy took a deep breath before answering. Faye's feet hung over the floor as she made them swing again and again.

"Does it seem good to you if ... we move from home?"

"Move? Where?"

Eren's eyebrows arched slightly in a surprised grin. Faye had taken the news much better than he expected.

"I dunno ... To a smaller place. Don't you think that our house is too big for the three of us?"

"It feels ... empty. As if ... something was missing. Mom is missing."

Silence.

The mention of Carla seemed to send a painful electrical impulse to his nerves that pierced their hearts like a subtle and invisible dagger.

"I know."

"And dad too."

"Yeah..."

Faye looked away at the nothing, as if her eyes were searching for a way out of reality. Eren did not know how to deal with his sister's pain, not even with his own, but he was already an adult, and she required all the effort and wisdom he could use to understand her. Mikasa's words had hammered in his head for months, reminding him that he was everything Faye needed.

"I want to go on vacation," said the girl suddenly, as if the shock of the water against the breakwater had alarmed her. Eren stopped breathing for a moment, only to listen to her carefully.

"Where do you want to go?"

The girl shrugged again.

"I dunno. But I want to leave. With you, with Mikasa and Tammy. We can take Tammy with us, right?"

"Hmm, I don't think so. The captain won't let us take his daughter to a trip, she's just a baby."

"Well, she's already walks and runs. And she speaks, too."

"Yes, but she is still very little. I don't think her parents would give us permission to do that."

"Hmph. It's okay..."

Downcast, Faye sighed. Eren made her raise her eyes to him with a friendly nudge.

"So, where do you wanna go?"

"To Disneyland?"

A swirl of happiness invaded Eren when he heard her say that. It wasn't about the destiny. Actually, he did not care much about it; but because a hint of joy in Faye made its appearance after saying that word.

"Hmm. why not"

The girl smiled subtly. Her flushed cheeks made Eren smile too.

"Do you think Mikasa says yes?"

"Of course she will say yes. And if she says no, we will take her with us by force."

A rasping giggle escaped from the girl's throat. A second later, her feet touched the sand, and her little arms closed around her older brother's torso in a warm embrace that he gave her back with no delay. Curiously, Faye smelled just like Carla; and that smell made Eren's eyes get colored with tears.

"Eren ..." the girl said from her hiding place.

"What."

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I love you. You are my little sister," the green-eyed man replied without hesitation. Faye did not move away from him.

"I used to think you didn't love me."

Eren wept silently, and some tears moistened his sister's hair. But she never noticed it.

"Well... forgive me for being so silly."

Faye laughed softly.

"You're still silly, but I already forgave you. And I love you, silly and all."

"More than Zeke?" he teased, clearing his throat not to be interrupted by his impertinent sobs. Faye laughed again.

"Hmm... I think so. More than I love Zeke."

"Ah. He won't like to know that."

"Well, don't tell him I said that."

Their laughter was extinguished by the sea breeze.

"I'll always be here, Faye. No matter what happens. I will always be with you."

"I know. You are my big brother."

"I'm glad you know it."

When they both returned home, the sunset would paint the sky with warm colors, making Faye smile as she walked, taken by the hand of the man she would admire from now on.

Because Eren was the best brother a girl could have.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

 


	32. For a thousand years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have reached the end.  
> I just have to say, wait for a possible epilogue with a next chapter, where I will thank each and every one of the people who made this possible. I think that after such an anguished manga chapter 112, the least I could do was to give a nice ending to this story. Believe me, I felt very emotional writing the ending, and I feel satisfied with it; I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.  
> See you next time!!

Armin opened his eyes.

The pale light of the November sun fluttered between his eyelashes and the _dust light_ swarmed in the sunlight reflection, making him blink and then follow them with his eyes. A pale hand fell delicately over his eyelids and closed them firmly before he could react.

“what the- “

“Stop following them with your eyes. It's dangerous,” Annie replied, while a thick lock of blond hair fell onto her face. Armin laughed softly, stretching a little so he could surround her naked body with his right arm.

“How do you know I was following them?”

“Because you squint your eyes and wrinkle your nose. Plus I know that you like to watch the light worms.”

Armin's laughter filled the bedroom and bounced off the walls. Annie withdrew her hand from his face, letting him to look at her finally.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“In fact, I woke up before you.”

The young man smiled again, and a kiss accompanied the conversation.

"Last night was good," he said, his lips on the girl's flushed cheek. Annie let out a subtle and seductive laugh.

“We were lucky that your grandfather wasn’t here for your birthday present.”

“To tell the truth, it's not a big deal. His room is quite far from this.”

“That's true.”

“Where are you going?” The boy's voice demanded an answer. She had moved away from him to get up, being stopped by his hand closed on her wrist to make her return to his side.

“I'll go prepare breakfast ...”

“Don’t. Stay here. Please.”

Without objection, she settled over him and Armin hooked his fingers in her hair, leaving a flickering line of tickling along her spine that made her sigh.

“We should go to a warm place on vacation this winter. Just like Eren and Mikasa will do. It will be very cold here when it starts to snow.”

“But ... I like winter.”

“And I like summer.”

“And Jean? Do you still like him?” the girl asked suddenly, devoid of all prevention and discomfort. Armin's breathing stopped for a second, but soon returned to normal.

“No. I think I was confused.”

“Why?” Annie crossed her arms over Armin’s chest, her chin resting on them to be able to look at him better. He sighed, raising his head a little to stare at her. Memories rushed into him abruptly, but Armin was pretty good at sorting out his ideas.

“I never stopped loving you. There were thousands of things that made me believe that I had.” he stated matter-of-factly.

“What things? Could you tell me?”

The boy sighed again, drawing with his fingers invisible and electrifying circles on his girl’s back.

“In the beginning ... I thought I had no chance with you. You know, you were Eren's girlfriend and all that ...”

Annie snorted and raised her eyebrows in annoyance. The memories caused her bitterness.

“You know I had no other choice ...”

“I know. I don’t blame you for any of that, nor for what happened between you and Bertholdt ...”

“Nothing I had with him had meaning ...”

"You don’t owe me any explanations," the boy warned, placing a finger on Annie's lips. “Yeah. Maybe I happened to feel things for Jean when you walked away from me and he became my friend, but not anymore. I never stopped loving you, Annie. I knew that night that I saw you asleep in my bed, tired and afraid, after what Kenny Ackerman did to you. I knew it when I drove you to your aunt's house and saw you disappear behind the door, and that was when I wondered if I was really as willing to let you go as I had believed. It is true; I felt something for Jean, but ... Now he and I are just friends. Now I have you.”

Annie's fingers slid over his lips, feeling them with subtlety, etching their texture onto her fingerprints. Their eyes met, and soon, the girl's mouth replaced those fingers, joining him in an explosive and almost mysterious kiss. Armin sighed in the middle of that kiss full of need and desire, filling his nervous system with a throbbing electrical discharge.

“I must confess that” she said, after turning away from him to recover the oxygen that had escaped her lungs “... For some time I thought I had lost you and you wouldn’t look at me the same way you did once.”

Armin smiled tenderly, and his thumb pushed the blond lock of hair that stood between him and his blue eyes from the girl's face.

“Well ... You were close. Very close.”

Annie responded to his joke by biting his cheek. Armin laughed aloud.

“Now you will have to prove that you only love me.”

“That’s not a big deal, though” the boy warned in a deep voice, closing his arms around her so as not to let her go, rolling over until he was over her. Leaving on her abdomen a path of flaming and brazen kisses trailing south, making her become an unrestrained bunch of moans and sensations hellishly pleasurable. Previous night would be repeated with more intensity. Armin would not rest until convincing her that she took all the space in his chest, with sweaty bodies and lighted passions.

And Annie could not feel luckier.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Faye did not want a birthday party. With Carla no longer with them, it was unlikely that her children would want a glitzy or jolly celebration. Avoiding the city and going elsewhere for a few weeks, just as Eren had promised his sister a few months ago, was the best way to escape the drowsiness caused by the remnants of their pain. It was already winter, and the Jaeger siblings could stand anything, except the cold of the freezing winter of Trost.  In a few hours, they and Mikasa would take the flight that would take them away from the dreary town for a few weeks.

“Eren, where are you going?” Faye raised her voice, sitting in front of the dining room with a spoon in her hand and her mouth full of cereal. The light of a cold sun came through the window, varnishing the walls with a blurry white.

“Faye, close your mouth when eating,” Mikasa warned, closing the kitchen tap. A fleeting, sonorous kiss left her cheek stained with peanut butter, making her protest. “Eren!”

“Hmph!” the boy gasped laughing, chewing a toast covered with butter and leaving its half on a plate “I'll come back later. I'm going to take some docs to Armin.”

“But we won’t get to the airport in time, Eren!” Faye complained, concerned. Eren approached her with a farewell kiss on her cheek.

“I won’t be late, you brat. Bye. I'll be back soon," he announced, making his way to the door. With a smile, Mikasa shook her head and took a seat next to Faye to eat their breakfast together, until they heard two sudden knocks on the door, interrupting the morning's calm.

“Don’t get up. I’ll open. You better finish eating,” Mikasa warned the girl, before she could get up. Two more knocks, and the door was opened, discovering behind her the imposing but calm figure of a bearded man with silver glasses. Zeke waved hello and the girl swallowed, completely opening the door.

“Hello, Mikasa.”

“Hi,” she replied, waiting for an explanation about his presence. However, a childish and enthusiastic cry caught the attention of the eldest of the Jaeger brothers.

“Zeke!” Faye exclaimed, throwing herself into her eldest brother’s arms. Catching her, Zeke kissed her cheek before talking to her very briefly. Then he looked at Mikasa. “Eren ... Is he inside?”

The dark-haired girl shook her head.

“He went to Armin's house, a few minutes ago. You can wait for him, if you wish ...”

"No," he answered quickly, handing her an envelope before taking it out of his jacket. “I came to leave this to him; it's a letter from dad ...”

“Dad?” Faye's voice rose again over the adults’, and her huge eyes darkened with the flash of a tear. It was difficult for a child to get a permit to visit prison, and it had been months since the last time Faye saw her father.

“Yes,” Zeke replied with regret, before setting her back down. The little girl sought refuge behind Mikasa’s legs, and the woman's hand passed over her head, comforting her. Zeke took out a second envelope, and handed it to the girl. “This one is for you.”

Without delay, Faye took the envelope and opened the letter, going back into the house to discover with eagerness Grisha’s handwriting in those pages. Her older brother watched her until she was out of sight, and the next second, he inclined her head slightly before Mikasa.

“Could you give this to Eren, please?”

“Of course.”

“All right. See you later, Mikasa. Have a good trip,” the silver-bearded man's glasses showed the reflection of light the instant he turned to leave. It was cold, and a snowstorm had been predicted in and around Trost. Zeke covered himself with his coat, ready to walk to his car and leave; however, the light touch of fingers over his forearm drove him back.

“Zeke ...wait”

“Hmm?” He muttered, visibly embarrassed by the attitude of his younger brother's girlfriend. Mikasa cleared her throat and spoke the words that had cost so much to let out.

“I want to know ... How it happened.”

He knew what she was talking about, despite all the time that had passed.

He looked at her, and remembered that weak, scared little girl who had seen her parents die that night of December 24th. He too had wounds to close; he also had to be forgiven.

“You sure you want to talk about that?”

Mikasa's response was immediate. The girl opened the door completely to give way and invite him to get in. Convinced of what he would do, Zeke listened to her request and came in, pleased by the warmth he perceived in his siblings’ new home, immediately sitting on the chair his sister-in-law had offered him. He did not accept tea or hot chocolate, he did not want to delay; Pieck and his newborn son were waiting for him at home.

Sighs were heard in the living room. They should not worry about Faye, she was reading and rereading distractedly in her room the letter that Grisha had sent her. Zeke's voice did not wait, and Mikasa did not want him to.

“I was never an easy child to raise.” pronounced the silver-bearded man with his back reclined on the chair, imitating the ticking of the clock with his index finger on the table “When I turned seven Grisha seemed to forget that he had a son and a wife in Shiganshina, and some time later, he divorced my mother, married another woman in this city, woman you knew. Then I had a younger brother ...”

Zeke paused. He did not look at Mikasa; however, Mikasa kept her dark gray eyes fixed on him with unshakable concentration. After a deliberate pause, the narrative continued its course; words and memories weighed in his mouth. Zeke Jaeger had never felt more intimidated.

“I took that the wrong way. I also ran with the wrong people when I got older, in my eagerness to prove that I did not need Grisha, or anything that came from him. That's how I met Kenny Ackerman and John Leonhardt, and I let myself be driven by ambition when they told me I would get a good pay if I helped them do a dirty job that any sensible person would have refused to do,” silence. Mikasa had the slight suspicion that Zeke was trying to calm his own spirit. “But I accepted, thinking that it would be easy; until I came into that place and that dog growled at us ... Kenny waited for us outside in a van made only for the mere purpose of killing your parents and prevent them from telling the police about the Tybur's illegal business ... ” at this point, the man in glasses shook his head, trying uselessly to forget “Yes, it was me the one who killed your dog, but not your parents. I couldn’t. I was not capable of it. I saw him cut their throats in front of you and I just stood there, shitting myself with fear, unable to move a finger. I could only speak again when I told him not to kill you ...”

Mikasa gasped, a victim of memories’ painful poison. And while Zeke did not move even an inch, she shuddered, visibly overwhelmed by the cruelty of the story. But she could not complain; she had asked for this. The world spun around her, and yet she was strong enough to compose herself.

She had spent almost ten years trying to recover.

This time it would not be different, nor more difficult.

"I remembered that I had a younger brother and a one-year-old sister," Zeke continued, still not looking at her. “And I know I did not save your life, Mikasa. What I did goes beyond limits of pusillanimity, and I only used an attempt to redeem my conscience in the midst of my guilt and despair at that moment ... But at least ... It comforts me to know that my brother found someone like you.”

She did not answer. She had no voice, no strength, much less temperance to utter a single word. Tense, Zeke stood up, refraining himself from touching her shoulder in consolation.

It was useless to try. Directly or not, he had killed the parents of the girl who now looked at him with sadness and frustration, and mute and old claims that struggled to get out of her eyes and mouth.

“Sorry. I'm sorry for everything,” the man with glasses whispered, as he walked away from her, on his way to the exit. Zeke could not hear her, but in spite of everything, Mikasa would give him in a low voice the forgiveness that he so badly needed.

Because in one way or another, they were family. Eren united them, and only by starting again could the wounds that had been opened over the years be erased, and even those that had never been formed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Hanji could not believe how much her daughter had grown up. At two years old, Tamara was the cleverest and brightest little girl she had ever seen; so clever, that even Levi had a hard time not succumbing to his daughter’s charm and intelligence. That night, one day before New Year's Eve, the Ackermans contemplated together the wonder they had created, while Tamara slept placidly and safely. Levi sighed before leaving his daughter's room, next to theirs, and Hanji smiled on the way to their bed, taking off her glasses to lie on bed and finally to rest.

Bare-chested, Captain Ackerman rested next to her, absent-minded, looking at the ceiling.

“What are you thinking about?” the woman asked. Levi did not take long to respond.

“Tamara is growing very fast. And we are getting old.”

The seriousness Levi spoke with made Hanji tease him, and in response, the captain growled, feigning disgust, one that even he could not believe.

“Come on, Levi, we could get worried you when gray hair and wrinkles appear. But that has not happened yet, not at thirty-five,” the woman replied, leaning her head on her left arm to look at him better. Her explanation brought the most authentic smile from her husband's lips.

“Tch. I'll break your legs the day you're not right, Four Eyes.”

“You mean: never?” Hanji let out a loud and vibrant laugh before jumping on Levi, shaking a little the marriage bed “Because I'm always right, you midget.”

A kiss followed the conversation. Hanji loved how dedicated and home-loving her husband had become in recent months, especially after the capture of everyone involved in Samuel and Tamara Ackerman’s murder. Levi looked like a renewed man, finally freed from a heavy, invisible burden that he had carried on for many years; the dark circles under his eyes had vanished, and his wife loved that half-moon smile that he let out more than twice a day.

"You and your damn titanic height," the captain said between his teeth, his hands on Hanji's back. Laughing, she kissed her husband's cheek.

“That has never been a problem in bed before,” she declared, teasing him again, earning a spank from Levi's hand. And Hanji loved those impulses, for they were a sign that the scene was about to become intense. A passionate and loud kiss continued the talk, until the captain rolled on the bed and left his wife under him.

“Hanjo,” she looked up to observe him better when he pronounced the nickname she liked so much to hear from him.

“Hmm?” She mumbled, kissing his shoulders with great concentration. Her husband's body smell had always caused a pleasant shock of intoxicating sensations in her.

“We should have another child.”

The brown-haired woman stopped her caresses to look at his eyes, shocked. And she knew: he was not kidding.

“Are you sure?”

“Tamara needs a brother.”

Hanji seemed to ponder the proposal for a few seconds. With Levi there were no middle terms or detours, and although she knew him well, she could not help but be slightly alarmed at his statement. However, a minute after thinking about it, she let out one of her assertive laughs, kissing him firmly and surrounding him with her limbs until there was not a single space left between them. Their clothes flew out of the bed, and Hanji let out a sharp, violent moan the moment he seized her body with more vehemence than the last time. Then he looked into her eyes as if digging into her soul, and she felt like the most vulnerable woman on the planet.

“Hanjo ...”

“Hmm?”

“Do you want to be my wife?”

The teacher's heart leaped with happiness and her joy traveled to her eyes until it became traces of tears that clouded her vision.

“I thought you would never ask.”

Levi smiled, as did she.

They would make love all night after that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Time had passed incredibly fast, almost as fast as a bicycle descending without brakes on a hill. Armin's birthday, Faye's birthday and Tamara's, had all passed with joy, as a subtly thundering reminder of Carla's death first anniversary, in January of the following year. Almost three years had passed since the day Mikasa punched Eren in the face in that store, and two since the night he saved her and they kissed for the first time. Children grew, young people matured, adults grew old, and bonds grew stronger in a family that Levi and Mikasa never expected to see grow.

Full of people, the captain's sister 22th birthday was celebrated in the Jaeger household; a long table full of different meals occupied the back of the room, and music filled the guests ears. Eren had hired Nikolo for the catering, and with the others, had planned a surprise for her, with Sasha and Historia as masterminds of the celebration. Mikasa was amazed; she had little tolerance for surprises, but she could not refuse the gift that her boyfriend and her friends had prepared for her with such dedication. Faye, Tamara and Cedric – Ymir and Historia’s 8-month-old freckled little one – played, away from the adults’ chitchat, stealing treats and snacks from time to time. Music set the scene, family and friends told stories and laughed without losing sight of the little ones.

"Tamara, Faye, don’t run," Mikasa warned, massaging her temples as the two little ladies ran one after the other around the buffet table. Eren scoffed and picked up a cookie.

“Leave them alone. Faye takes care of her.”

"That's true," Armin said, sucking a drop of marmalade from Annie's index finger. “Faye is much more responsible than her brothers, and she’s barely ten.”

"Hey, you will pay for that, Armin," Eren replied, frowning. But no matter how annoyed he wanted to look, nobody believed him. Mikasa snorted, stifling a laugh. “Hey, you too?”

“What? I didn’t say anything,” the dark-haired woman excused herself, closing an invisible zipper over her lips.

“See, Sasha? I told you. My girlfriend and my best friend are always against me,” Eren's eyes traveled to Sasha, but she did nothing but mock.

"I'm sorry, Eren," Sasha excused, shrugging.

“Whatever, those jerks are right. You’re not exactly a whiz, Jaeger,” Annie commented, her face deadpanned, unleashing Ymir’s thunderous cackle and Sasha, Historia, Connie and Marco’s shy giggles.

“Okay, okay, that was enough,” Mikasa intervened raising her hands in sign of peace. Standing behind Eren, her arms traveled to the boy's chest and closed around him, before giving him a protective kiss in the hair. Jean was about to add a sarcastic comment, but a bustle from outside stopped them. Nikolo and his kitchen assistant struggled with a lean and smaller figure on the sidewalk. Sasha was the first to stand up and go out to see what happened, followed by the others, Hanji and Levi included. The little ones stayed inside the house. It was cold, and the streets were covered in white and snow mixed with the mud of the roads.

“Nikolo? What's going on?” Sasha's voice alarmed the chef, who turned his head towards her without letting go of a blonde girl’s old jacket collar, a girl barely older than Faye. Dirty and hungry, the little girl hyperventilated with fear of being beaten, looking with her eyes among the group of people for someone to help her.

“Franz and I left the truck open only for a few seconds to make space on the table and take the cake inside, but when we were back this brat was eating it!” the cook roared, anger consuming his eyes and his eyebrows. His fist was raised against the girl's face, but Sasha pushed her away from him before something worse could happen.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” the little girl shouted in despair” I just want something to eat. I'm hungry, but I didn’t mean to steal anything. I swear...”

Many gasped in shock at the situation. Sasha looked at the girl and noticed how threadbare and dirty her clothes were; those old rags barely helped her to shelter from the winter’s inclemency.

“Nikolo, were you going to hit her?”

“Sasha, I ...” Nikolo knew that there were no valid excuses for what he was about to do. His face flushed with embarrassment, and Jean soon approached him to calm him down. The brown-haired girl did not look at him again, she would be mad at him for a while, as he pondered what he had been about to do.

“What’s your name?” Sasha asked the girl. With tears in her eyes, the child looked at the young woman who had defended her and spoke, her voice breaking.

“Kaya.”

“Kaya ... And what about your parents?”

“I have no parents.”

“You have nowhere to go, right?” Sasha had bent her body down enough to look at her eyes. The girl shook her head in denial, and the honey-colored eyes of the woman in front of her turned to Mikasa sadly.  Sasha noticed a subtle smile on her friend's lips, and compassionate, warm gray eyes that encouraged her to do the right thing.

“You want something to eat, right, Kaya?” Mikasa asked, feeling Eren's hand close on hers at the same time. The girl nodded vehemently, her retina full of illusion at the prospect of finally being able to taste a bite.

"There are a lot of yummy things in there," Armin said. “You can come with us if you want to.”

"Come with me," Sasha insisted, with the girl's hand inside hers. Kaya smiled at her; It had been a while since the last time someone was nice and kind-hearted to her. She was afraid of the unknown, but these people seemed to be nice.

And they were.

"That brat needs a bath," Levi warned from a corner, when Kaya made her entrance, clinging of Sasha's side. The captain had seen everything from the doorway, with Hanji hanging on his arm as Faye fixed her attention on the newcomer.

“Levi is right. It's disrespectful to the food to eat so dirty," Sasha interjected, pushing the girl inward with enthusiasm.

“You learned well, Sasha. I'm proud of you,” Tamara's father mentioned as soon as he heard that statement, with a warm pat on the girl's back, who smiled shyly. That compliment had been quite nice of him, and pleasantly unexpected. The huge heart that Sasha Braus harbored inside her was pounding at the idea of helping a defenseless girl like that; and while everyone made their way back inside the house. Nikolo put his hands to his head, knowing that he had made a serious mistake and that Sasha would be mad at him for a long time, or at least until he dared to apologize to the little girl. Kaya had tried to steal a piece of cake, and, consequently, someone had wanted to hurt her; however, the situation took an unexpected twist and in return, the girl had found food, shelter, and possibly an older sister. That night, Kaya would eat and drink; she would dress in clean, warm and comfortable clothing and have a place to spend the night. Faye would invite her to play with Tamara and Cedric, and she will never go back to the streets to face the pain of an empty stomach or the indifference of those who passed by her. But this is how casualties happen: an accident or a mistake make two people get to know each other and then the universe intertwines their lives forming a strong and indestructible bond between them in the least imagined way. That was the way Eren and Mikasa had happened, and that was the case now with Sasha and Kaya.

And when Nikolo reconsiders his mistake, he would be able to prepare something delicious for the girl and make peace again with Sasha. Apologizing for his rudeness and imprudence. Much to Connie's displeasure, the young cook would not miss the opportunity to kiss the girl's cheek still knowing that, for now, her odds with him were painfully reduced to zero. Sasha would phone her father to announce how she had gotten a little sister, and from then on, Kaya would never again get away from her.

Fate had a strange and funny way of joining trails and turning a misfortune into the best of coincidences.

.

.

One last snowfall covered Trost that 10th of February and the sun had set several hours ago, leaving behind the beautiful glow of a winter sunset to plunge the entire city into a dark night full of stars. The front yard was painted white, but Eren, Mikasa and Armin seemed to have little concern for it. With the girl in the middle, the trio interlocked their arms, forming a human chain that would have been hard for anyone to break.

Well, anyone who was not a mischievous child, because Faye could have crossed between them, and nothing could have stopped her. But it was too late, everyone had already left for home; Jean and Marco had been the first to leave. Ymir, Historia and Cedric left a little later, followed by Kaya, Connie and Sasha, after the girl had thanked her hosts. Levi and Hanji were next, with Tamara kissing her auntie and uncle and Faye as a farewell. Annie had fallen asleep in an armchair as Faye played on Eren's computer, with his permission.  Armin, hanging from Mikasa's left arm, watched the heavenly vault and the thousands of stars that adorned the gloom of the sky. The trio rested sitting on a step of the house porch.

“And well, what will we do tomorrow? This will be a long weekend,” the voice of the brown-haired boy was the first to rise, being interrupted at the end of the sentence by a gust of cold air.

"Go find horcruxes," Armin said, making the other two laugh softly. The clouds of icy smoke that came out of their mouths intermingled, vanishing instantly.

"That's a suicide mission," Mikasa warned with a laugh, raising her hands in surrender. “Don’t count me in.”

"We wouldn’t last two days without you," Armin declared aloud. His friend covered his mouth, it was too late to scream.

“You’re such a nerd, Armin. Too much of a geek," Eren shook his head, mocking his best friend. The blond boy snorted, standing up in front of them.

“C’mon, don’t be boring. I want to enjoy the weekend before coming back into the hell of one more college week.”

Eren yawned loudly, infecting Mikasa. Armin rolled his eyes.

“We should make plans tomorrow. Isn’t it a bit late now to think about plans?” Eren's proposal made the girl nod. The blue-eyed boy did not seem very convinced; however, he could not help but sigh.

“Well, I'll call you guys tomorrow. I’m going to get outta here; I'm sleepy, and my girl fell asleep long ago. I'll go wake her.” even before concluding his speech, Armin was already walking inside the house. Eren and Mikasa got up to follow him, but it was not long before Annie woke up and came out holding the boy's hand. They said their goodbyes and Annie got into the car; however, Armin turned around and returned with his friends, wrapping them in a warm and comforting hug. An 'I love you guys' was kept in their throats and rolled through the time that embrace lasted, staying etched in their memories forever. The three of them would have liked to never let go. Mikasa kissed her boys on the forehead and, in turn, they kissed her back by pressing their mouths on her cheeks, bursting into laughs and walking away, each one taking the course that would take them back home. Armin and Annie left; Mikasa and Eren finally closed the door after getting inside. Faye was already asleep in front of the computer, with a trace of saliva that reached her ear and Mikasa cleaned, before Eren took her to her room and returned to the living room with a bag of Doritos in hand. She was already waiting for him in front of the fireplace sitting on the floor, and did not hesitate to giggle when she noticed what he was bringing with him.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked, the moment he bend down to take a seat next to her. Mikasa shook her head and stole a couple of snacks from the bag.

"It’s nothing," she answered, before letting out a deep, cathartic sigh. “It was a beautiful birthday. Thank you.”

Eren smiled broadly. She was happy, and that was all he needed.

They both stared at the fire keeping the cold of winter at bay. Eren turned his gaze to her and his pupils were lost in the flames that were reflected in the dark gray of his girlfriend's eyes. His heart quickened strangely, as if it were the first time he had seen her. An idea had hovered for many months in his head, and he wondered if this was the right time to let it out. However, a melancholy thought crossed his mind, as if a black cloud had landed on top of him, dropping a slight drizzle of nostalgia.

“Sometimes I can’t believe that it's been a year since she left.”

When Mikasa turned to see him, the reflection of the fire adorned her cheek. Her right hand stretched to his cheek, catching his attention and taking it away from the fire.

“You know what?”

“What?” he insisted, staring at her. The girl's fingers came down to the left side of her boyfriend's chest.

“She's not gone, Eren.”

He smiled, grabbed her hand and kissed her palm sweetly; Repeating her, Eren slid his fingers over that scar on her right cheek.

“You're right.”

“And she's proud of you and Faye.”

A smile crossed the boy's mouth. She kissed him deeply, with warm lips that increased the temperature of his body and the desire to hold her in his arms for a while longer. With her head resting on his chest and her arms around his torso, hugging him, Mikasa let out a gasp that echoed in her boyfriend's throat like the intermittent buzz of a bee.

“What?”

She raised her head at the question and shook it.

“Sometimes I wonder ... What would dad and mom think of us.”

“Do you mean Mr. and Mrs. A?”

“Of course.”

Eren's mouth twisted in a smile. Then he frowned thoughtfully.

“Hmm I dunno. Do you think they would have liked me?”

Mikasa arched an eyebrow before answering.

“I think Dad would have been so angry at you for the way you behaved before and he would have said to me: ‘Mikasa, I don’t want you to see that boy anymore’" she warned, poorly mimicking her father's voice. Eren laughed loudly.

“Well, I was an asshole. It’s not as if they would have been wrong.”

"You're still an asshole ... Okay, maybe a little less now," she chuckled under her breath and Eren growled, feigning disgust.

“I hate you.”

“You and I know that's not true,” the girl replied with a kiss on his cheek. He snorted, entirely aware that she was right. He could not have hated her even if he tried; he adored her with madness, with every tiny cell of his body, he loved her so much that his chest did not seem enough to hold what he felt. A sound kiss accompanied by the jumping sparks of the fireplace fire made its appearance, followed by a hug that left the girl resting her head on her lover's shoulder.

“I would have liked to know them,” Eren mentioned a while later, suddenly cutting the silence. She sighed in his lap. “Don’t you miss them?”

“Always. But now I have you, and I no longer feel alone.”

“But ... You have your brother. You always had him, long before me.”

Straightening up again, Mikasa shrugged her legs, hugged her knees and looked towards the fire; Memories clustered in her head like hundreds of papers thrown in the air waiting to be caught before falling to the ground. Yes, she had always been good at remembering, maybe too much for her own good, and sometimes, that skill played tricks on her.

But not this time.

The memories that appeared in her mind were now free of pain; the sadness remained, but at least for this time she was allowed to smile.

Many wounds had already closed, and her soul knew it.

“You remember ... that night when you rescued me?”

Her sweet voice pierced the boy's brains like a two-edged dagger. Eren swallowed, overwhelmed at the memory; however, he nodded quickly. Mikasa's index finger drew an abstract and invisible figure on the carpet that protected them from the cold ground.

“How could I forget that?”

“Tamara was born that night. The same day dad and mom had left all those years ago. I accompanied Hanji and Levi to the hospital that time, and when she came into the world, it was all happiness ...” the girl sighed, as if her lungs made an effort to continue. Small explosive, intermittent sounds emanated from the fireplace, subtly mingling with the feminine voice that adorned the night “I knew she was part of me the moment I saw her. You know, she's my niece ...”

"And she's the same as you," Eren interrupted her; she nodded, and they both snorted, giggling.

“For a moment, when Tamara was placed in Hanji's arms, I stayed in the room with them. We all talked, I even joked a little with Levi after carrying the baby and returning her to her mama's arms ...” Mikasa sighed again. Some things were hard to describe “Levi approached them, he pampered Tammy and for the first time I heard him tell Hanji that he loved her. Then I looked around and I perceived myself in a world different from theirs; Do you know why, Eren?”

Eren continued watching her with attention and admiration, without losing sight or hearing a single word that came from his girlfriend's mouth.

“No.”

“Because at that moment I knew that they are a family that I can never belong to. I was Levi's sister, Tamara's aunt and Hanji's sister-in-law, but I did not belong to them. I saw them hugging and kissing and although I liked seeing them happy, I had never felt more alone,” she paused. He continued to listen to her fervently. “That was when you called me, and you asked me to celebrate Christmas with you, as if you somehow knew what I needed, and you rescued me from the loneliness I felt when I thought I belonged to no place. Since then, it is as if I had stopped walking aimlessly in the middle of nowhere, as if I had stopped spinning senselessly in an empty place; as if finally ...”

“I have found a home,” their voices concluded in unison in a harmoniously perfect cadence. Nostalgia had accumulated in the girl's eyes like little drops, and Eren's hand rose to her face to dry in advance the liquid remnants of her nostalgia.

“Yes. I know," Eren said with a sweet and appeasing smile. “I also found one with you.”

The moment their eyes met again, a sensation of rest and tranquility meandered through their entrails. Once again, and always with her, Eren Jaeger felt that at last his soul found the healing and calm he had yearned for. A warm and firm kiss on his forehead made him close his eyes, accompanied by a sigh from the deepest part of his lungs that went through his nostrils and landed on Mikasa's chin, shuddering inside her the last of her nerve endings. His breath was warm and overwhelming, intimidating, sometimes, but always comforting. They kissed once more, without haste and no pauses, with no deep or guilty instincts, but with a love always spicy, sharp and ravenous, never extinguished. Love that plucked the most heated gasps from their vocal cords.

Eren looked at her again and, with her in his arms, took a breath before speaking again. Happy as a clam, Mikasa straddled him, her back to the fire that waved their shadows on the sofa. The boy's hands traveled to her thighs, holding them firmly.

"Mikasa," he called, taking her attention away from the kisses she marked on his cheek and jaw.

“Huh?”

“Marry me.”

She stopped, pinning the liquid gray of her pupils in the turquoise green of him.

"No," she answered, and a shy, blushing giggle echoed through the fire.

“What... Why not?”

Mikasa laughed again.

“Because you are an asshole. And I won’t marry an asshole.”

“But I'm your asshole.”

That statement brought out the loudest of her cackles. At the same moment, Eren reached into one of his pockets, exposing a beautiful and sophisticated ring that would have caught anyone's attention. A corner of Mikasa's brain wondered if Eren had bought it alone, because certainly his tastes were a little ... Rustic. That thought made her mock inwardly.

“Marry me, Miss Ackerman.”

“Are you bribing me with an expensive and beautiful ring?”

This time it was Eren who let out the laughter.

“Eh, maybe.”

“That does not work with me, Mr. Jaeger.”

Another shared laugh, and a long kiss that caused a snap at the end. The boy's face slowly adopted a rictus of sensibility and thoughtfulness that his girlfriend took very seriously. The ring still rested between his thumb and forefinger, staring at it with melancholy.

"It's been ... more than a year of planning how to ask you this, Mikasa," Eren sighed in regret, and a flurry of pain crossed his chest in an instant. “I talked to Carla about it, before she died. She asked me several times. You know how she was. She even helped me choose the most beautiful jewel for you, although this is not enough to sum up what you are to me,” there was a melancholic smile at this point “And every time she asked if it was what I really wanted, I didn’t hesitate to answer that I couldn’t see my life go by without you by my side” Eren's eyes traveled the path that led from the ring to his girl's eyes and they fixed on them firmly “Mikasa, I can’t fix your past. There are so many wounds between us that can’t be cured and only continue bleeding without stopping ... and maybe I can’t give you the certainty of a future, because the future is uncertain and uncertainty sucks. We never know where we will be tomorrow ... The only thing I know and that I am sure of, is that I want to be with you for what remains of my life. It doesn’t matter if it is a day or a thousand years. I want to make love to you every fucking day of my life, until my last breath. I want you to be with me in all possible ways, and even impossible ones, until there is no blood left in my veins. I want you to be my wife, I couldn’t stand a life without you. Damnit, I know that was the most fucking cheesy speech I've ever spoken in my life, but the truth is that I love you, Mikasa.”

When Eren concluded his proposal, his hands trembled, product of the nerves and the overflowing passion in each one of his words. His chest widened violently, but Mikasa had stopped breathing, trying hopelessly to hold back the tears of happiness that rolled on her eyelids with intermittent gasps, the product of a laughter full of tears. She hid herself on his neck, hiding her face where the boy's chin ended, bringing giggles from his throat.

"Don’t laugh," she said, her voice breaking, her soul brimming with joy. His warning was not enough.

“I'm not making fun of you.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Mikasa clung to him more, with the strength of a woman and the tenderness of a girl. Eren sighed.

“So, what do you say? Will you marry me?”

Coming out of hiding, the girl cleared her vision with her fingers and nodded.

“After such a speech, I have no choice but to say yes.”

More laughs. For a moment, the two of them wondered if they were worthy of such joy. Kisses, hugs and cuddles of a couple full of emotions staged the scene, before Mikasa stopped suddenly, as if she had just realized something.

“What?” he asked, confused. She raised her eyebrows in concern.

“There’s one thing we must do before we get married, and it’s dangerous ...”

“What are you talking about?”

“We have to tell Levi.”

“Oh fuck ...” Eren gasped, and it was almost instantly that the shadow of a drop of sweat slid over his right temple “There's no turning back, right?”

“Of course not,” she replied, smugly.

“He's gonna kill me.”

“No. I don’t think so.”

Eren snorted, pretending resignation.

"I have to put on my best suit and go ask him: captain, can I have your sister for the rest of my life?”

Mikasa snorted happily.

“That's a good song.”

Another kiss. They could have worn their lips that night. He pulled her away carefully and stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back. I'm going to get something from the kitchen,” and it did not take him more than two minutes to get back, with a bottle of wine in one hand, a corkscrew and two glasses of glass in the other. The boy returned to his place on the floor next to her, ready to celebrate with a little alcohol. However, Mikasa stopped him, with a shy little smile on her lips, disguised as smugness. “Don’t you want a little?”

“There is someone among us who can’t drink alcohol, unless you want to be arrested for serving alcohol to a child.”

“What? Faye is asleep, and I would never give alcohol to her.”

Mikasa shook her head, smiling. Eren stared at her, visibly dazed.

"I'm not talking about Faye," she clarified. A bewildered and confused Eren got a kiss on the lips, still gaping at what his ears began to assimilate. Teasingly, Mikasa got up and walked away from him, walking up the stairs, biting her lip.

“Mikasa? Hey wait! Do you mean….?” He crooned, his heart in his throat and a tinge of illusion bubbling in his gut. Inadvertently, his feet followed the path the giggling gray-eyed woman took, forgetting wine, fire and winter, fearful and fascinated by the perspective that now opened between them. “Are you? Holy shit, Mikasa wait!” he shouted bounding upstairs behind her. He would hug her, kiss her and make love to her the rest of the night, just as he had promised her a few minutes ago, and together they would mark the sweet and clean start of a wonderful journey.

What began with an unexpected and well-deserved punch to the nose would end a millennium later, after tears, thorns, learned lessons, unbreakable bonds, the unforeseen arrival of a baby, a wedding on the beach and many, many wrinkles.

Because after all, no one expects to find his soulmate around the corner, nor live to tell the tale.


	33. Epilogue

Mikasa never imagined that Eren and she would repeat the hilarious scene that Levi and Hanji had starred almost three years before. The contractions had begun on October 9th.. Eren was a mess, not only would he forget the way to the medical center, but it was also likely that they would crash because of his nerves. So it was Armin whom the next day drove to Trost Hospital, when the pains became unbearable for Mikasa. It was noticeable that Eren Jaeger was not himself, and if Armin and Faye hadn’t have been there, he would have fainted as soon as the nurse told him he could not enter the room where Mikasa would give birth to their baby.

Although maybe that was not so inconvenient.

Sweat ran over his temples just at the thought of waiting, it is not difficult to imagine what would have happened to him having entered to see the birth.

Mikasa was right: he would have fallen unconscious while their child was born. Oh no, Eren was not strong at all. That was her thing.

“Hey, brat. Calm down," Levi warned, his hand on the young man's shoulder, trying to calm him down. Eren stopped walking as Hanji, Annie and Sasha made their entrance into the waiting room.

“Did she give birth yet?” Hanji asked enthusiastically. Tamara, almost three years old, was walking hand in hand with her mother. Spotting Levi, little Tamara ran into his arms, but not before greeting Faye. The captain shook his head, and Eren tried to continue his insistent walk down the hall’s aisle, but this time it was Armin's hand on his shoulder that stopped him.

“Everything will be ok,” pronounced the blond boy as his friend’s friends gaze was lost in the scene of the captain hugging his daughter, wrapping him in a vortex of hopes of a not too distant future. Faye took him by the hand and smiled, calming her brother’s nerves a little. Armin and she were right: everything would be fine.

Hours later, after an arduous labor, moans of pain, nurses coming and going from the dancing doors, a female voice broke into the unsettling calm that the waiting room demanded. Seven heads, not counting Tamara's, rose up to hear the call that accelerated each one's nervous systems.

“Eren Jaeger?” the nurse said, looking for the new dad among those who waited in the room.

"ME! That’s me. I mean I’m Eren," exclaimed the young man, standing over the group with his brown hair tied in a bun. The nervousness of his expectation made him look like a helpless child, and when Levi looked at him, something uneasy made him wonder how his younger sister had noticed such a stupid man.

“Congratulations,” the woman in white uniform cheered him up. “It's a girl.”

Seven faces now passed from the eagerness of waiting to the rejoicing at the good news. With awkward movements and automatic will, Eren walked towards the swinging doors. Behind him, Levi, Hanji, Tamara, Faye, Armin and Sasha, followed. Annie staying behind, decided to wait in her seat. However, the nurse stopped everyone, raising a hand in warning.

“Only three people can may enter. The patient’s husband and two more relatives,” warned the woman in white. And the selection was immediate.

“Hanji, come in with me,” Levi said, taking his wife's hand, Eren already having disappeared behind the swinging doors in front of them, forgetting that the world existed. “Sasha, could you stay with Tamara for a moment?”

“Of cour- ...”

"Daddy, I want to go in and see auntie and the baby!" Tamara begged, interrupting Sasha's response with tears in her eyes that threatened to overflow in seconds.

“I want to go too!” Faye exclaimed, not wanting to be left behind. The same pleading expression was drawn on Hanji's face, facing the nurse, who resigned herself to letting in the littlest ones, moved by their innocent longing. She would deal with her superiors later.

That's how Mikasa's gray eyes witnessed the entrance of her family: five pairs of expectant eyes, eager to see the little being that she had just given life to. A tiny human being gurgled and wiggled slowly in her arms, wrapped in a soft pastel green blanket. Eren approached his wife, fearful, with a throbbing heart in his throat and a bubbling in his stomach, product of the mixture between happiness and the final drops of agony after a long wait. Then his eyes traveled each line of his newborn’s face with an ethereal and fascinating devotion, unable to believe that this little thing was his daughter. Flesh of his flesh, blood of his blood.

His. She was his.

Eren smiled broadly, and a pair of joyful tears joined at the tip of his nose, until they fell into the blanket that wrapped the little one. Mikasa admired him, full of emotions, and weariness. She had never been so disheveled, sweaty, exhausted and tired in her life.

But this was the most bearable fatigue of all.

“It's her?” Eren's question would have been silly any other time, except in this moment. His vocal chords fluttered weakly, and his reasoning had difficulty assimilating the miracle that was taking place. Mikasa nodded, and at the same time, a male hand slid over her hair, and lips crashed against her temples, soaking her forehead with a few drops of salty water. Eren snorted into something that looked like a laugh, and she laughed with him.

“Yes.”

“She’s ... so small.”

“She's beautiful. She’s perfect.” Mikasa said, reassuring the divinity of their little miracle. Eren nodded eagerly, and his eyes narrowed in a tearful laughter full of rejoicing. The new parents adored their creation as if it were a cherub, and a kiss on the lips sealed the beginning of a new and small life that was interwoven with the threads of their existences. Happiness stretched before them like a canvas of blurred watercolors between cuddles and caresses.

Then Tamara and Faye interrupted the scene, each one leaning on either side of the bed, little Tamara having determinedly climbed up, where Mikasa rested. Levi and Hanji flowing closely behind.

“Is that the baby?” Faye was the first to raise her voice, catching her older brother and sister-in-law’s attention. Mikasa nodded, and Tamara leaned on her aunt's shoulder to better see the little pink thing in the dark-haired woman’s arms.

“I want to see! I want to see!” demanded the little girl, pushing Mikasa's hand away with a harsh movement that exposed her little cousin to her sight. Tamara stopped, watched her closely, and her upper lip curled upward in disgust. "Her face is small and wrinkled, auntie. You have a very ugly baby. It looks like you, Eren.” She said, now facing her aunt´s husband.

“Tamara!” While Hanji's scolding resounded in her daughter’s ears, cackles in the rest of the family did not wait. Even Levi let out a snort, while the corner of his lip stretched, smirking. Mikasa also laughed; not because her niece was right, but because the baby still needed a bath, and yes, her wrinkles would disappear.

"That's my daughter," the captain muttered proudly, and it was the first time Eren had dared to glare at him; however, that was not enough to intimidate Levi.

In fact, nothing was.

"She's gorgeous," Hanji pointed, adjusting her glasses as she approached to see the new baby better and slide her long finger over the frowning forehead of their youngest. The next one was Levi, who scrutinized the baby’s features just as the most expert wine taster does with a new crop; Mikasa growled and was about to push him away. However, a rare genuine smile from her brother made her desist from her initial idea.

" Four Eyes is right, you brats did a good job," The captain's hand slid over his sister's head, and his mouth touched the baby’s soft temples. The amniotic fluid had already been removed from her body a few minutes before being placed in her mother's arms.

 A pair of dark gray eyes swept over the small bundle beneath them and traveled over the heads that surrounded the small presence like those who worship a newly revealed god. There were all of her loved ones: her husband, her niece, her brother and her two sisters-in-law, both with a huge age gap between them, but never made them any less important. The dancing door was opened by a nurse, and Mikasa could see her friends’ shapes waiting for her outside the room: Armin, Sasha and Annie. Each and every one of them gathered there thanks to the tiny blessing that had from her, and that was also part of Eren. Because this time they were not joined by a tragedy, not by a death, nor by the skirmish caused by the unresolved wounds of a past.

Now she could feel complete and at peace, and although she felt the absence of two in her life, her parents’ spirits shone in her heart like burning torches, as well as someone else’s.

The syrupy musk of brown hair and amber eyes crossed Mikasa's mind as the lightning breaks the clouds during the storm, raw, accurate, luminous, and painful, but always longed for. Then she looked at Eren, and saw in those eyes what she had seen.

The nostalgia and melancholy clustered in their retinas, but they dissipated them, squeezing their eyelids tightly. Hanji's voice cut through the gaps of sadness that were beginning to show, and all eyes turned to her as she asked the question everyone had been waiting for.

“What name will you call her?” asked the woman in glasses, eager to know that answer.

“Carla,” Mikasa replied, with a smile so sweet that it would have melted the sun itself.

And Eren never felt prouder.

His mother's light also shone like a torch inside both of their hearts.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Well, do you want to know what happened to this huge family after Carla’s birth? Well, it's not very hard to say. Because I am Carla. Eren, my dad, was too lazy to finish his culinary career, so he dedicated himself to continue managing the bar with uncle Zeke and uncle Armin. And they did well. Yes, pretty good. If you ask about my mom, well, she continues to play her violin and she wants me to learn, but ugh, it seems too boring; I prefer extreme sports. I have cousins everywhere: Tamara; my uncle Zeke's son with Pieck; Cedric (he hasn’t gotten over the fact that I said no to him when he asked me to go to my aunt Faye's graduation party. He's in love with me, but don’t tell him I know, don’t tell dad either, or he would kill him, and then Aunt Ymir would kill dad for killing Cedric, such a Greek tragedy). The children uncle Armin and Aunt Annie had, gosh, they’re like little headaches, bump in the ass, tiny troublemakers, much worse than my younger sister, that’s for sure; Maybe that's why they get along soooo well. And, finally, aunt Sasha and uncle Connie’s daughter, who is able to eat a stadium full of food, and still have room for more. Let's say that I am the most normal of this group, although Mom says otherwise. She says I'm the same as dad in every way, and I think that drives her crazy. But I'm not complaining, to be my parents, they're pretty cool. Except for one thing: at ten years old, they have not wanted to tell me how babies are made._

_But I think I'm going to have to ask Uncle Armin. He knows everything!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL!!  
> Thanks for reading, for catching up until now, for staying until the end. For your good and bad reviews. For supporting my long hiatuses and my desire to throw everything away and not continue. Thanks to Adriana for taking more than a year in this, for being my beta-reader, for correcting me and cheering me up and giving me ideas to keep going; I wouldn’t have gotten here without her constant support. "Around the corner" was possible thanks to her by 50%. To Janet, for beta reading this English translation, for helping me with my almost-never-ending writer’s block and staying up until late sometimes doing it. To my readers, those who arrived at the beginning and those who came later; To my AO3 readers, to each and every one of them, for your long and short reviews (I never got tired of reading them), for giving me some strength to keep writing and not give up. Sorry if I do not mention you all, but you should know that I have always read each and every one of your comments. To Isayama-san, for creating the most beautiful characters that could exist, the ones who inspired this story made for you all, for our precious little fandom. With nothing more to say, I hope you guys have enjoyed reading me, and, as always, hasta la vista!!!


End file.
